LAST OPPORTUNITY TO GET A DRESS t DRESS GOODS i Given Away Until Sat, Jan. 18th ; . And ViraSl XZ"3 : - 5 Buy a Dress and a We'll Give You One 5 Wool Dress . Goods 2 OlwaflwaiUMMSM.Jaa.IS 5 absolutely eriv y SrshptS have In our dress goods . a !faV- gfc-M-m-dV ii i in .tfavmBL some pieces ox ntravy uiau?rituB, uwuiuiu cuiu umvjr wojkuii BiuuugB wiu uuu xui ua urwauos, oum ouiuo uj uwiosuuiu, wuie not in nrsb rauut. mj trinsic value and will give splendid service. We have taken from the stocks all such goods. Everything not strictly nevr goes into this sale. In of our Clean Sweep Sale we are going to give with each waist or dress pattern sold an equal number of yar& the sale pnut? wiuiuuv vjLura uucurgt?. v REM EM BE R--You may take your choice of any goods on sale the price is the same as the goods you bought $ From now until Jan. 18. three days of Save Dress Goods for Noth ing Until January 18 V lHto I. S. The Adamy school is still closed. Herman Saardus is sojourning in Kansas and Oklahoma. Joseph Mudgett of Moncura, la., is visiting his sister. Mis. IJ. R. Bieson. Mrs. Oarl Both was visiting her sister, Mia. J. W. Albers, from Saturday until Monday. After an absence of fonr years, D. A. Beeher and family are again receiving mail on this route. Miss Louise Seefield has ordered her mail through the general delivery at the Columbus post oSoe. After a three weeks vacation, Rudolph Koepke is again instructing the young idea at the parochial academy. Mr. and Mm. We. Brunkea, living ; of Platte Center, were visiting the folka on the route last week. Helen Kuper, who has been visiting at Joe Kraase's, has returned to Grand Island, where she is attending college. The wedding of John P. Schroder and Miss Clara Marks waa solemnized at St. Joseph's church, at Platte Canter, Tues day morning. A very pleasant social time waa en joy ed by the young folks at the home of Mr. and Mrs.(Jobn Brunken, sr., on the eveaiag of the 13th. Fred Meyer is at the hospital receiving treatment for a sprained hip, which he received by falling from a spring wagon last Tharsday morning. Merv Kuntsleman, we understand, is having a very severe attack of email pox. Merv always did follow up the aaying of Grannie in the Indian achool aater, "Get a plenty while yoa're get- The old maid's prognostication of the young men on route one eut of Monroe ia last week's write up by the carrier, is the beat we have read in aooon's age. We wonder why the old maid don't peak for herself, John? . W. F. Rhodehorst butchered foai hogs last Moadav. That ought to keen him baay until 1909. And J. BLRhodehorsi also caught the idea and laid in a supply ef pork chops. John Brcnkea also got busy and dressed a porker or two. O. W. Maeller, who is making bis home with his wife's father, Gerhard Krumlaad, has received a pension of 96 per month, also a back pension amount hag to about $300 Mr. Mueller served in the Spanish American war, and con tracted rheumatism while in the senior. Mr. aad Mm. J. O. Moachenross. who received a letter from Henry Rhode horst, father of Mrs Moseaenross, who ia speeding the winter at San Diego, Gal., statin that he is feeling toe at present, aad if he keeps on feeling that good he will not return until sometime spring. it. Oa and after January 1, 1906, C. B. Spates wineaeosed to the coal business ef has father. O. A. 8peice. AUaoooaato ameteerewmgby C A. Speiee stay he HHiiattheaaaes. aB.8naca. stock, comprising over am. ma ras n Buy a Mar's Worth Your Coupons Ate Heart of Assaaaln. A correspondent of the North China Daily News describes what followed the execution of an assassin: "When the heart of Hsu HsI-lin was cut out of his body and had been laid before the remains of bis victim as a sacri fice to the late governor's 'manes, members of his bodyguard, to signify their zeal and hatred of the assassin, seized Hsu's still warm heart and cutting It up Into mince meat boiled It and served the grewsome dish among themselves to be eaten. This seems a poor way of revenging the death of one patron, especially since it was due to the very Ineptitude and subsequent panic of this very brave bodyguard that enabled Hsu HsI-lin to fire so many shots, without any kind of hindrance, at the late En Mln." House Eleven Hundred Years Old. St. Albans, possesses the' oldest in habited house In the country. This distinction is said to belong to the old Round house, now the Fighting Cocks Inn, which stands close to the River Ver. It Is a curious structure ot octagonal shape of early Saxon ori gin, having been built as a boathouse to the ancient monastery founded at St Albans by King Offa about the year 795, and is thus over 1.100 years old. A subterranean passage, now blocked up, runs from the basement to the ruins of the monastery, a dis tance of about 200 yards. There is a shed at the back of the house, where It Is said Oliver Cromwell stabled his horse, himself once sleeping under its roof during the civil war. Collecting Hypnotic Sunstroke. A German physician who had a pa tient who could not afford to go to a warm climate, thought he would ac complish the same result by means of hypnotism. The doctor chalked a pic ture of the sun on the ceiling, and by suggestion induced the patient to be lieve It really was the sun aad that it would cure him. But the patient soon died. When the doctor's friends guyed him about the novel treatment he indignantly explained that the pa tient was getting along nicely and would have go well had he not unex pectedly died of sunstroke. Labor-laving Imaelitei We ia some record had been m. served of the time saved by changing from the old-fashioned profound in clination of the bead toward the earth perhaps itself a labor-saving im provement oa aa earlier ceremonial of greeting ia which the forehead waa brought, oriental fashion, ia actual contact with the floor to the modern Brisk nod. We wish there ware sta tistics to show how much time man kind has galaed hi cutting courtesy own from paragraphs to grants. We oHt.whetar aO the vaunted ceoaa- JBJes of laaor-savlag machinery hare oc laeor-eaviag been getting bigger and better five hundred distinct pieces of goods, there are necessarily a good many small lotsol goods that we Many new pieces of dress goods added to our sale. Hundreds of pieces of goods to SOMETHING HERE FOR YOU. and Get a COLUMBUS, PUT HIM TO SLEEP asai gassrlsnss ef Veteran Tefle- avapk Oseremr in en "I worked for a southern railway once," said the old railroad telegra pher who gets about as close to the truth each time he talks as the Arctic explorers get to the north pole on each subsequent trip. I don't know whether it waa from sentiment or not the banjo always being linked with southern history, but anyway the southern railway of which I am speak ing was completely equipped with ban jo signals for the operation of trains. "For a spell the banjo signals around Llnlithgo station got out of whack and seemed to be going to the eternal frankfurters. Just when some fast special would be dashing through Llnlithgo going 2:40 on a plank road the peaky banjo signals would go ker slap to danger, bringing the fast spe cial up on all fours, as It were. Then hades would be tapped around Llnlith go station with an eight-inch posthole auger while the engineer ventilated his views. "The company seat signal experts and testers of all kinds to try out the sulky signals to no avail. After this sassiness of the signals had been go ing on for a spell the night operator on duty at Llnlithgo got subject to at tacks of drowsiness. "He just couldn't make his eyes behave. Every night about 12 o'clock he would drop off into the soundest slumber. "The company couldn't stand for any Little Bo-Peep in theirs. So the boss asked me if I wouldn't go down to Llnlithgo to try and straighten mat tars' out. "I never like to throw bouquets at myself, but I will say that I had ao marks agaiast my record. As far as wakefulness was concerned I waa lit tle Lord Fauatleroy on the job. Never theless, when I got to doing the aight work at Llnlithgo my reputatioa far alertness or duty went by the board. "Every midnight I would be -attacked by drowsiness, and before long I would be making a noise like Phila delphia. Then the first thing you know I'd be holding up all the flower of the time card. "One thing I did notice. Every morning we would find our stock of copper aad sines, used in the gravity batteries, all nibbled up, as if they had been attacked by a mouse with some sort of smelter attachment Inside. The plot certaialy was thickening. "I got a good-sized mouse trap aad set it near the storage-battery closet, properly baited with cheese. This drowstaess still same over me .every midnight, aad the depredations oa the electrical stores coatiaued unabated. The company was getting pretty at me. Iwas just about ready to ap the whole tning aaa rhea. I ran tf best, the Wei Give Ton China or Semi Podine night and was forced to halt my trap 'with a piece of peek-a-boo, opea-work Swiss cheese. "Along about 12:30 my usual drowsy spell came on. I was just reciting 'Curfew Shall Not Ring To-Night,' In my dreams, when I heard an awful commotion out near my mouse trap. "Struggling hard to overcome the I aleepy feeling, which grew more over powering as I drew nearer to the trap. I ran out, and I can -tell you I waa the most surprised man you ever saw to find an electrical eel all twisted up in ! that piece of Swiss cheese. You see the ordinary cheese never bothered him at all, but he attempted to crawl , through the holes of the golf-course! cheese in order to get at the electrical stores and got all tangled up. . j "The mystery of Llnlithgo station j waa solved. Ton see a couple of elec- j trie eels had wriggled their way from the ditch along the railroad Into the electric signal system, and after hav ing once gorged themselves on the current which is so essential to their system they just couldn't leave it alone. "Then they got wise to the storage closet up in -the station, and wriggled up there every night to replenish the dying electrical embers in their bodies at the expense of the company. The peculiar electrical currents they ex uded from their bodies bad the same effect as that new electrical anaes- thetic the scientists are experimenting with now. It put all the operators who worked at Llnlithgo to sleep. if that eel hadn't got tangled up In 'the meshes of that Swiss cheese the mystery never -would have been solved. I guess that's about the most peculiar and withal true electrical oc currence on record." "Say," put in the tall, cynical con ductor, "there must be some of them eels gettin' in their fell work on this division, for I had to stop an' wake up no less than six operators ia a dis tance of 40 miles last night." Straight Railroad Track. In spite of the apparently mathe matical straight lines which many of the western railroads appear to follow on the map. it has been stated that the record In this respect will be beaten by the, new national transcontinental railroad, otherwise known as the Grand Trunk Pacific, 70 miles of which will be -constructed without a curve. Five years ago, however, a length of 71 miles of perfectly straight railroad track was constructed on the exten sion of the Rhodesia railroads from Bulawayo ia the direction of the Vic toria falls. 8o far,, therefore, as tha length of straight iine la concerned, the record Is held by the portion of the Rhodesia railroads above referral to. A Strenuous Task. "I doa't see why you should be ex cused," the judge said to the witness. "Ton look wen enough." "Bat jest think of it, yer honor." said the wit ness, "rve done stood oa this here stand aa' told tha truth-far twe aaa stretch." bargains fi, ever been dven Auk Dollar's Worth NEBRASKA ABOUT INTERVIEWS What trie Wrizm Ftahtar SaM and What tha Reporter SaM Ha SaM - "Things don't sound the same, some how, in printed interviews. I can't recognise my way of talking In any of these Interviews with me that are printed." Uncle Joe Cannon. Here Is the wav the Interview with Hotwallop the prize fighter looks when it &tM tato typ tae New Tork News: Weiit i feel rery certala that I 8DaU succeed la administering a quick defeat to my antagonist to-morrow night Understand. I have the high- J est regard for aim as a man aad aai a sportsman, out i really Deiieve tnat I am the better man, and I shall make every effort to convince my rrleads of this. "I am la as perfect condition aa a man can attain who trains long aad conscientiously, and I shall not have the slightest difficulty in making the weight. "I am perfectly willing to grant that Mr. 8wlftjoIt la aa excellent pugilist, but I cannot conceal the fact that I be lieve myself to be possessed of con siderably more steam than he, aad I feel, too, that the flght will not be I protracted one. Ia truth I shall be more than amazed if the coateat endures longer than four rounds. "I have developed several aew meth ods of attack, all of which I shall employ in case the necessity arises, aad I think that any one of them should enable me to earn the victory from Mr. Swlftjolt, who has' always exhibited a certain partiality toward the old-fashioned methods of pugilism. Toa may announce to my friends with the greatest posUlveness, that" etc The things which Hotwallop actu ally said, though, out of the son'-son'-eastera corner of his map were about as follows: "Swif jolt, hey? Say, pat away die gabble' about slssagea put it away ia a box, tsee? He couldn't nek a mat ton stew wit' a set o' ninepins. "It's one punch ia de lunch fr dat gam aa' hell be a-Usteafa' V de bod ies! He couldn't hit me little sla ter wit a ckVes-pole, aa' wot chanet has he got wit' me, hey wot chanet? "Strip me off" dat wot chanet, hey? He's a rummy f staa' ap aa' let me poke at aim. I'm gola' f take a booh into de ring f read w'lle I'm trlmmin' him I like V keep me lid entertained Wen rm up agla dis soft staff. x "Wot, train fr dat aleee o tripe? Tsay, all I need fr dat Mad la a hair cat aa' ha'f a hour'a sleep. He's gota t 'play fr my kitchen, is ha? Why. tsay, hell never git near enough f ma t traa ma a chew ' fine eat. "flare. I'm gota' f stake da fat ants eat dig up defr hate f sea aa mix a sprint fr defr cash, aa' rm dere, be, long enough f give ae guya achanet f do sons tm just be kJddla' aa' foeHn' sicter a, hat tmMmff fr me. aa' 1 wish I eeuld. get asnmvj for your free pattern, providing ,? v the free list choose from. Dinner Set We Give Dress Goods Away Until Jan. 18th body t alt ap wit' me la de riag aa' play pinocle Wile I'm puttln' eat smudge away. "He's gola f come troa wtt dem pokes fr me pantry, hey? Tsay. w'ere does Jie t'Ink I keeps me wlcka? Ia feet? "Wy, de las' time I fit dat mag I could 'a' wound me watch aa' dea 'a writ a letter home w'ile he waa t'lnkln' over wedder he'd slip me a right swing or a short-arm jolt, aa I come aear yawala' me conk off a-waltla' fr him f make up his mind. Tsay. I'd rather staa' behla' two haaaered akoita at a box oslea ana jt' wait fr dat firkin o' grease f make ap hie nut wot he's gola' f do la a mix. "Have I got any new coives f spring on aim? Wot fr? Hey? Wof de nee o mania' after a street car after yoa've caught it, hey? New stuff fr dat piece o' scrapple? "Wy, HI spank him on de teet' wit' de back of me glove, aa' If dat doa't git me ButhfB' I'll git a megaphone aa' talk real hash f him from de odder side o de stage. Him dere wit' de punch, hey? Tsay, he couldn't hit a Belgian hare wit' a shovel hard enough f make de big-eared bug look up from de cabbage leaves. "Him dere wit' a fast new shift, hey? He couldn't shift a hickory nut from one jowl t de odder between now aa' next Decoration day. "Bid he stake me f some slams la our las' fight? Not If I knowed it If he did I waa too busy coaatta' de house at de time. "Two or free times I felt sometla' like a cockroach crawtta over me slats, aa' maybe dat was him alttla' I doa't know. Might 'a sin, at dat "I'd he willia' t sft down ia a rock la' chair aa' let dat apollycod hit ma s. NEW MUSIC STORE AE have opened a new music V V store in the Landon farni ture store on Eleventh street and will handle a complete line of nrst class pianos. Our prices defy all competition. Bemember we are per manently located in Oolumbus. BECKER BROS. HENRY J. BmmJnEKl in (Multibus. wish to close, also MtjMfc pOaVCaW ih- the last three days iota of the same for the last FREE wit' a coal maul all de afternoon tf he'd let me do my croehayla' aaT'reae! de papers Wile he was doin' it Oat's how much I'm 'fraid o' Ida peach, tsee? "Would I advise me pals t sola defr coin on me? Tell 'em V staa' a tap sky. Tell 'em fr me t git down oa me wit' wot dey kin snag on de rag carpet .aa de oil stove, aa' anny price dey gtt is like coanln graa'ma fr a akkel aa' a horsecake." He Faund Oat. Tommy ran excitedly lata the roam. eager to impart laformatioa. "Oh! where did yoa get all that paint oa your hands aad clothes?" exclaimed hia mother. "Oh. that!" returned Tom my, indifferently. "I wanted t see a? tha people 'cross the street were tett iag the truth.. They have a alga that says 'Paint I knew right aloag that it waa vanuaa, aaa i round it VwflsVCan I lvaUPHlBrfl TaM 'As a school of character It la doubt ful if any better could be devised thaa the routine career of a medical stu dent. It is not claimed that every medical student at the end of his flve . year curriculum will be found to have become a saint But if he has set de veloped manly qualities of self re straint, courage, gentleness and for bearance, t Is not far waat of oppor faulty of practicing these virtues. Ensugh anal ta Spare. "Aad the same la to he" asked tha suave atiaister aa he approached the feat with the precteaa armful of fat aad fieaacee. "Augustus Philip Ferdi nand Codrlagtea Cheatei field Livings ton Saoeka." "Dear ma!" Tarsia ta the sexton: "A little more water. Mr. Perkins, if ve nlease." Tit-Blai r y IK If iIa' 1 . i.--Vi,i.jCi .. -, b,- vAhimfc-Jotfa.-.y .'i-.vai j- i am ' Mrra tsi m i m ! ii i rn-d-fj"varwmmmnrTrwnmm-i--fe-L il - - -- - --..'- -- '. I t I I T