The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, December 18, 1907, Image 2

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ColumbusJournal
R. a STROTHER, Etfttar.
F. K. STROTHER, Man-far.
COLUMBUS.
NEBRASKA.
Custom House Palace.
What is probably the finest building
In the world for the use of a collector
of customs has been turned over to
the national government The new
custom house in New York, begun in
1900, has been completed at a cost of
$7,200,000. It covers the entire block i
between Whitehall street and State
street, running from Bowling Green
to Bridge street Its street faces are i
adorned with splendid pieces of sculp
ture typifying commerce, and its main
court, or rotunda, is one of the largest
spanned by a single roof. The interior
fittings are ornate and dignified, as is
befitting in a public building belong
ing to a rich and populous country.
About two-thirds of .the customs reve
nue of the country is paid over the
desks of the cellcctor of New York.
The remaining one-third is collected
in the inore'fhani 140 other collection
districts. iAR " elaborately equipped
suite of ;offiees has been provided in
the building for the use of the secre
tary of the" treasury on his official
visits to New- York.. Other suites are
set apart for the weather bureau, the
naval bureau, the civil service board,
the isthmian canal commission, the se
cret service department and some
other branches of the national govern
ment that have to use offices in New
York." But, says the Youth's'! Compan
ion, they all together occupy much
less space than that devoted to the
use of the various branches of the
tariff collection service.
Instead of the head of a queen,
proud, haughty and homely, on the
new gold coins, we are shown the pro
file of a pretty waiter girl. 'Twere
sacrilege to speak in this connection
of the damsel as a biscuit shooter, a
hash slinger or any of those uneupno
nious titles by which the thoughtless
and the pert sometimes designate the
dining room hand maiden. - She is
dimply a pretty waiter and her beauty
is much enhanced by the frame and
the background. If she sends this
portrait of herself to her friends they
will hardly look at it with a critical
eye or declare that it doesn't do jus
tice to the original. More men will
gaze fondly on that face than on any
set of features designed to lure us on
to the purchase of some tooth powder.
The girl will look good to them. When
a carping critic asked 19 centuries
ago if he should pay tribute to Caesar
he was told to look at the image oa
the coin and if it was Caesar's portrait
he should pay the taxes. Waiters will
hope that in this there is a hint for
those who have their doubts about the
size of the tip."'
Visitors to Venice next year will
see the rebuilding of the famous cam
panile in St. Mark's square practically
completed. The tower already rises
30 feet above the pavement, and. work
Is progressing rapidly. The old ma
terials are used so far as possible.
The original foundation was strength
ened and slichtlv enlarged. The cor-
. v
nerstone was laid in April, 1903, about
nine months after the tower fell, and
then more than 3,000 piles of fresh
larch wood were driven round the base
to support a new wall of stone that
was to prevent the collapse of the
new tower. Fresh stone was used
here; but above ground the old bricks,
burned many hundred years ago, are
relaid in the best modern cement after
being carefully examined. Fifty thou
sand dollars have already been spent
on the work of restoration.
Do we interpret aright the word
from Dubuque, la.?- Are the men to
do the cooking, cleaning, washing,
ironing, answer the door, make the
beds, officiate at the telephone, do tha
ordering, fuss with the ragman, wres
tle with callers, look after the furnace,
take care of the children, dust, polish
the furniture, brack the range, fight
agents, figure in the center of the so
cial stage at home, darn, mend, save
and look pleasant, while the wives of
their bosoms get the wherewithal by
playing bridge, "500," whist, double
pedro, euchre, fan-tan, old sledge or
poker? Early -answer requested.
A state education official in Illinois
has been telling Chicago that there
'"ight. to be a course of love-making
-ilroduced in' the schools that chil
dren should be taught to woo as they
are taught the multiplication table.
The capacity to become lovers is born
in the average human being just as
the capacity is inborn of making a fool
of oneself. The tendency in either
case will do its own developing.
A speaker at the American Medical
association said that many accidents
could be avoided by a little care.
Doubtless that is true, but some men
will never believe until they make
the trial that they cannot vanquish an
automobile in a joint debate for the
right of way.
While it is possible for a man to
keep an automobile and a wife and be
appy. ret the ancient fact remains
3rmly on its base that no man can
serve two masters.
At the convention of the Episcopal
church it was proposed to add to the
prayer book a petition 'for a person
going on a journey by land, -like that
for a person going to sea. No more
solemn commentary could be made
upon the condition of American rail
way travel-
According to a New York dispatch
the cMmg of wedding presents la
goiac ot of fashion. Wise yonng peo
ple will pit o their waddiags until
gets a uttle looser.
m sane
THE MAN
Now wifcy let us be
Let us not spend dor
Etch chic and child
Of everv fortv-secondro
Each $1.98 that wtjspend
Means that much
It means
Less clothes.
Less theaters,
Less porterhfTusi st
Less, everything Mja
This Christmas
That we can wel
And we must.
We must think
And not spend
In riotous givi
Even though i
We'll cut it o
And have something atr a s
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THE JrCAN ON CHRISTMAS MORNING
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AnditiU Aere's more, - I
The mouse
fatriylmeredup with
BoxSs from Joe, and Clarlkjinti
Sue,
AndvCousin Billy. V
a
Did any other fami!
So mal
2nd
-good-
folks think of us
this:
-know
thisHttle old world of
domeonenwno remembers vou.
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Don't weWifev?
THE MAN ON
What's this!
A bill for Christmas presents?
The items, please?
Just tops, and drums, and books
And all the usual list of Christmas
Of $302.47 you say.
And I told her that we would cut
J. ?B- 'V
This folly, this Christmas givingtfiSsreckl
WelL hereVvour check. V
But vou iistvtet, J
Another year welwUl have none of
COPYMCHT 1907 Or Tt AU'iVOi
Christmas Is a Good
Day for a Cold.
BISHOP OLMSTED of Colorado was
making a Christmas address to
some Denver children.
"Eat heartily on Christmas day,"
the bishop said, smiling. "Do full
justice to turkey, to cranberry sauce)
to- plum pudding, to all the good
things. But don't give way to glut
tony. Don't gloat over your Christ
mas dainties like a Bala boy I used
to know. This boy said one Christ
mas morning:
" My. I wish I had a cold!'
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senc
Christmas remembi
:es.
ms rttexA -
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usimwe can. think of. yr ,V .
now UiyJ- A
lAV-Ml
Anpre economy in tne yewjocomey i
itfe I I II . I ' --S ,i
t yon anq; ntejana tJtpy jack care tor.
m inter day's vacation.
relatives aslwe lay claim' to?
ours there's someone illsyou friead:
Wc like it.
--i I
JANUARY 2
and
it out.
X
.
it.
" 'Why?' asked his brother.
" 'Cause mother says to feed a cold,
and if I had one to-day, wouldn't I
feed it, though!'"
Old Ideas About Christmas.
Even as late as 1753 there was some
doubt as to the exact date of Christ
mas, the old count bringing it to the
5th of January, the new count giving
us the 25th of December, which Is
"the day we celebrate." In Devon
shire, England, it Is believed that if
the sun shines at noon on Christmas
day a" plentiful crop may be loeket
for in the following year.
ties, i J
plunder, to- the extent
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CHRISTMAS, crowned with mirth and cheer,
Sweet magnet-night of all the year,
From field and city, camp and foam,
Where'er our loved ones absent roam,
Thy subtle spell from far and near
Can draw them home.
Gathered round thy friendly fire.
Sisters, mother, sons, and sire
Once more in fond affection meet,
To love-set time their bosoms beat,
And every hearth s a nappy tjuire
Of singers sweet.
MWWMMWMMWWWWWMVWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWMWMVWWAA
I Brief
Christmas
I Tales I
MAYOR STOY of Atlantic City was
talking about Christmas dinners.
"If one is going "to give a Christmas
dinner," he said, "it is best to give a
good, even a lavish one. Then one
doesn't get up from the table with re
morse gnawing at the heart, as was
the case last year with an Atlantic
City young man. He took his Gancee
and her mother to a Christmas din
ner in a New York restaurant. Arriv
ing at the restaurant a little before
the ladies, he ordered the dinner, and
then said to the waiter:
" 'Look here; I'll call for two quarts
of champagne after the fish, but you
just bring tluit champagne cider in
the fancy bottle instead. It's good
stuff, ami the ladies won't know the
difference.'
'Very well, sir.' said the waiter.
"Then tho ladies arrived, and the
dinner progressed splendidly. The
champagne was ordered, the culrr was
brought, and neither guest perceived
the deception. On the contrary, they
both praised the champagne. They
drank heartily. of it.
"Hut when the hill came at the din
ner's end. the young man's face dark
ened. He beckoned to the waiter, and.
with nods and winks galore, pointed
to the wine item.
"'Waiter, there's some mistake
about this charge, isn't there?'
" 'Oh, no, sir." said the waiter. 'Two
bottles of champagne, eight dollars.
That was what you ordered, sir.'
"'Certainly. Two bottles of cham
pagne. We remember your ordering
them.' the ladies chorused.
" 'But said the young man, wink
ing and nodding like a steam engine
at the waiter.
" 'The bill is quite correct, sir,' said
the waiter, firmly.
"The ladies looked at him reproach
fully, and the young man could do
nothing but pay up."
Sample of American
Christmas Push.
SIR THOMAS LIPTON had been
complimented by a New York re
porter on the cup he had just offered.
"I ought to offer a cup." said the
genial Briton, "to the retail shop-keeper
who does the biggest Christmas
trade. The size of your Christmas
trade amazes me its size, and the
dexterity with which it is handled.
"I beard the other day of a great
Christmas bargain sale in Quincy. To
one of the 'bargain counters a man
was rash enough to venture. He
struggled heroically a little while
among the press, then, with a lend
cry, he sank.
"'Help, help!' he shouted from the
floor. 'Help! My leg is broken.'
"The clerk, dextrous in the handling
of Christmas crowds, got him.
"'And you'll find our Christmas
splints and curtches, sir,' he said, 'on
third floor back, fifth aisle to left.,
In the Interest of
Peace on Earth."
ALFRED H. LOVE, the president of
Universal Peace Union, told one
day in Philadelphia a peace story.
"At this Christmas season," he said,
"men talk sincerely about loving one
another,-about the universal brother
hood of man, and in the same breath
they assert that it is right to burn
and maim and kill in war. They are
not so logical as a young colored re
cruit who served in the Philippines.
This young man, at the end of his
Initial engagement, was haled before
his captain;
"'So you ran at the first fire, did
yoa?' said the captain, scornfully.
"'Yes, sah: an' I'd 'a' run sooaer,
sah, it Id kaowed it wus eoaUaV
lV mmk.&mm. av smi 1kv A
iaraiina iim.
BY WILL HILL.
Copyright. 1917.
"'Have you no regard for your
reputation, Calhoun?'
'"Mah reputation hain't huffin' to
me. sah, 'londside o' mah life.'
"The captain smiled and twirled his
mustache.
" 'Even if you should lose your life.
Calhoun,' he said, 'you'd have the sat
isfaction of knowing that you had
died for your country.
"'Wot satisfaction could dat be to
me, sah. when de power o feelin It
wuz gone?
"'Then patriotism means nothing to.
yon?'
"'Xuffln, sah: I wouldn't put mah
life in de scales agin any government
dat eber existed, for no government
could replace de loss o' me.'
"'Calhoun. If all soldiers were like
you, the world's governments would
all go to pieces.'
"'On de contrary, sah, dey'd last
forever; for if all soldiers wuz like
me, den dere couldn't neber be no
fightinV
Sam Small's Hypnotism
Didn't Work.
T1
HE late Sam Small had his faults."
said an Atlantan, "but he did not
dodge the penalty of them. When he
went wrong, he owned uplike a man,
and if punishment was due, he took it.
"That was the doctrine Sam Small
preached. He hated dodgers. He
used to laugh bitterly at the plea of
'hypnotic . influence' that used to be
put up by nearly every murderer.
"I once heard him ridiculing hyp
notism. He said that heft bought pret
ty heavily one year for Christmas, and
when the bill came in for turkey and
mince meat, candy, ducks, chickens,
plum pudding, fruit cake and so on.
he thought to himself that here was a
case for hypnotism to be tried.
"He went first to hypnotize the
grocer. Approaching the man, he
looked him squarely in the eye. at the
same time repeating, slowly and im
pressively: " 'My bill is paid.
"A change came over the grocer's
face. His color faded, his eyes grew
dull, his expression blank. And In a
strange, mechanical voice he mut
tered: " You're a liar.' "
It Was a Sure Proof
of Lunacy.
RUFUS L. GRISWOLD, the Cleve
land educator who holds that it is
wrong to let children believe in
Santa Clans, was arguing about his
strange views at a dinner.
"Why lie to children?" he asked.
"Why let them believe in a myth?
Whenever I hear mention of that
loathed name of Santa Claus. I think
of a lunatic. Some years ago I at
tended a trial. A witness was be
ing examined as to the sanity of
one of the inmates.
'"You hold that this inmate is in
sane, do you?' a lawyer asked.
"'I do,' was the firm reply.
" 'Why are you so sure?'
"'The man,' the witness said, 'goes
about asserting that he is Santa
Claus.'
"'And,' said the lawyer, 'you hold,
do you, that when a man goes about
asserting that he is Santa Claus, it's
a clear proof of his insanity?'
"'I do.'
Why?'
"'Because,' said the witness, in a
loud, indignant voice, 'I happen to be
Santa Claus myself.'"
Had Earned Her
Christmas Gift.
"THERE arc Christmas gifts and
I Christmas gifts," said Bishop Foss.
"but the only acceptable ones are
those given with a pure motive. In
a crockery shop, during the holidays,
I once saw the proprietor hand a
plainly-dressed young woman a two
dollar bill. She looked at the bill,
and said bitterly:
"Ts that all? And durin the past
year ain't I broken 35 tumblers, 26
cups, nine meat platters, four saucers,
72 plates and 13 of the mistress' best
tureens?'
"'There, there,' said the shopman,
soothingly; 'here's another dollar for
you. And doa't forget mt, yoa know
he eased with a wiak." -
NOT TO BEAUTIFY.
Mrs. Haymowe "What do you wear
that mask for?
Chauffeur Well, 111 tell you. I
wear it so that the people I run over
won't be able to recognize me.
BLACK, ITCHING SPOTS ON FACE.
Physician Called It Eczema in Worst
Form Patient Despaired of Cure
Cuticura Remedies Cured Her.
"About four years a&o I was afflicted
with black splotches all over my face
and a few covering my body, which
produced a severe itching irritation,
and which caused me a great deal of
suffering, to such an extent that I was
forced to call in two of, the leading
physicians of After a thorough
examination of the dreaded complaint
they announced it to be skin eczema
in the worst form. Their treatment
did me no good. Finally I became de
spondent and decided to discontinue
their services. My husband purchased
a single set of the Cuticura Remedies,
which entirely stopped the breaking
out. I continued the use of the Cuti
cura Remedies for six months, and
after that ever splotch was entirely
gone. I have not felt a symptom of
the eczema since, which was three
years ago. Mrs. Lizzie E. Sledge, 540
Jones Ave., Selma, Ala., Oct. 2S, 1905."
Pretty Hungry.
"Walter, a beefsteak! Quick! I'm
in a hurry,!" t
"We haven't any beefsteak, sir!"
"A chop, then."
"Chops is off!"
"Well, then, an omelet."
"Impossible, sir; we "
"What! why have you nothing at all
la your restaurant?"
"Yes, sir; we've got a sheriff."
Customer (sharpesiug his knife on
the edge of his plate) Then let's
have one.
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were. used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
bidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be' entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
Point of History Cleared Up.
m. T-. i:. -..- ..:.l .,.
t Xlie tieiUIM ;.un, uycj nine jui
mouth and I won't hurt you a bit.
The Patient (after the extraction)
Doctor, I know what lAnanias did for
a living now. Illustrated Bits.
Those Delicious Lemon Pics.
Tlie kind that "irtnko your mouth wa
ter" are easily made 'with no fussing nI
st least possible expend' if yon use "OUIi
11 K" Pre paration. Don't hesitate. Try if
ami tell your friends. At grocers. 10 rents.
Everybody is pleased with "OfU-PiE."
He who overcomes and captures his
enemy with love is the greatest of all
conquerors. Froude.
Lewis' Single Binder straight ."Je. You
pay 10c for .cigars not so good. Your deal
er'or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111.
Wise is he who. kicks only at the
things that can't kick back.
ONLY ONK "BROXO QCIXIXE"
Tbat Is LAXATIVE BBOMO OL'ININK. Iok for
the signature of K. W. tillOVK. Ufced tbe World
met to Care Cold in One Uaj. '.-.
He Is not free who drags his chain
after him. French.
oixirJoenna
ci
the System Effect
eanses
ually;llispels fjoids ana nectar
ticltes auo to Constipation;
Acts naturally, acts li uu as
a Laxative.
Best for Alen Women ana tnilcl-ren-ybungana
Ulti.
lo jJet its DeneJitialEjfccts
Always ouy the aenuine which
lias nie jml name of the Com-
CALIFORNIA
fJo Syrup Co.
by whom it is manufacturea, printed: en the
J front of every package .
SOLD BY ALL LEADING DRUGGISTS
one size only, regular price 50prboHle.
SICK HEADACHE
I. I Positively cured by
IPARTtHKI these Little Pills.
Prrnx
UlVER
pills.
They alo relieve Dis
tress from Dy.pepsia,In
tlijjestioaandToo Hearty
Eating. A perft-ct rem
edy for Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsire.-s, Bad
Taste In t he Mouth, Coat
ed TonKtte, Pain in the,
Side, TORPID LtVER.
Tney regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL SMALL HSE.SMAIL MICE.
Genuine Mint Bear
Fac-SMIeSigMtiirt
kfhe susnrens.
(CAJpB
m
Living I
Aprlaavlndian library is aa -interesting
one. An Arizoaa judge, who has
been studying this tribe, says that they
v select several promising youths of
their tribe from time- to. time for liv
ing libraries of their traditions, and
they are carefully instructed in the
historical legends pertaining te their
tribe, being required to commit them
faithfully to aBemory. They, in turn,
instruct their successors, and thus pre
serve the traditions in the exact lan
guage recited by their ancestors of
many years ago.
The Web ef Life.
The web of our life irf a mingled
yam. good and ill together: our vir
tues would be proud if our faults
whipped them out: and our crimes
would despair if they were not cher
ished by our virtues. Rochfort.
Average Temperature.
The average temperature of the en
tire glob is 50 degrees Fahrenheit.
Here's an Easy One.
Why is it that a woman with skirts
that rustle always appears nervous?
Disease-Proof Potato.
A disease-proof potato hus been in
troduced into France from Uruguaj.
Boys are not always eating: some
times they are busily engaged in look
ing for something to eat.
The average preacher anil his con
gregation are like a married couple
who do not get along.
The funniest tiling in the world is
when a women'.', club discusses a big:
question.
Omaha Directory
The Lowest
Death Rate
cf any American Company is
enjoyed by the
Bankers Reserve Life Co.
of OMAHA. NEBRASKA.
Thereby increasing the
profits of the policy hold
ers. Get a policy.
Good positions available for reliable agents.
B. H. ROBISON. President.
ON TRIAL
Baton yo bay atplaao r
warnt you to Uj a Jhwltor.
Tfc total soa't vox yoa ujr-thiac-
for alt ak ia ynur
imailaliia to plat dm In
jourhoaM. If after trying It
yoa ax pli ait wit It.
will aril it to yoa for from tn-
to ns ! thaa J"" Tn bay tha am trrada of plaau-
ror
If you aia not aatlaSail tnlp It back at OUT
ltilnra-if-t-irnr T t tUilmIr"pT..
fit. Bend b yaur aaataaaj addre aol w will writ
you all aUat oar Fre Trial Wan. : t" mt
Ktsey aail itct a high irrac'a plaan mi cay teran; wwS
you our illustrated piano book and tell you how t get
sixty music lessons fraa. writ to-day.
SCNMILLER k MUELLER PIAII CI
Oept. B. OMAHA. NEBft.
FIRM LOINS REAL estate
Mil . atoWMraV Bought and SoM
WILLS Carefully Prepared
RENTALS COLLECTED
We act as TRUSTEE for corporate bocl issue, bolcf
and rare for property for brnellt of minors or aucU.
people.
PETERS TRUST CO.
In Tort Uft Baildia?. 0M1U. KEUSU.
IF YOU
lisve never Ufcel
the
CHAMPION
SCRIIV. CALK
v.-ith a Black
Diursunc) Sire I
Crntcr all tin way throtiIi. ymi liai never
n-el the le-t Caik on the market. Ask your
blark-mitli to -Iivr it to yois.
f! EarnMorc
1
9 9 9 9
l?i.clni :inf Shiiff
band Conrirs tacsht by Most l-.p-rMiiefMl
Teacher In the Writ. Tortious for uradu-ai-.
Wt.rk for Hoard. Help for descrying
stcdent. Address
MOSKER-LANrNAN COLLEGE
Information free.
i;n9KarnamSt..laii.NrR.
6 tl 10 llTEREST 01 YOW MCWEY
That S what yoa can get by buying
OMAHA REAL ESTATE
hm many mood fl RAR f. fCR RRA
properties from IWwV IV nffllWW
That we will be pieaard to phow yoa any time, noihtuc
eafer. better or more nubetanttal.
MMMTtMmm mm MKYOMM
1704rmnsmmt.
MYm
Wrntta
Oa
Yttr
LIVE STOCK
Ship to ALEX G. BUCHANAN A S0M
Live Stock Commission. 154-156 Exchange Bide;.
So. Omaha. Neb. 32 Years la Ike Baslaesa.
TELEGRAPHY!
Sft.OOO ojierators needed at once. W
have contract with Union Pacific tt
supply them with men. Railroad v.-ires
in our school. We guarantee you a,
position. Write at once. Omaha Com
mercial College. Omaha. Neb.
WlrM ii OMAHA Step at the
Iler Grand Hotel
Mi
it A
Omy
mfat
MATTHEWS DENTIST
B year In Omaha. N'eb.. Koona 4. Ilnahman BlnHc. X. C.
vomer ltb ami Doairla Me- Uowl eat teeth. Mja: a,itc
rrnn.M.a: brMre teeth. HM: Amalgam miluav.Mr.
llverlllujr.TSr;iollMlli)B.tl and up. WOMMTA.
aKTUB ia lUN. BriBirtlilaatlvertliiementwIth jon.
Grain. Stocks and Bands
Osia u A Cow lt-siN Co2M. JS. T. Li fe BlitgOasaha.
rorrespontfents of More head Co. (Inc.). Cincinnati.
Ohio: fast wire service. We solicit jour bu'larvs
by mail urwlre. .
RAW FURS
Biffhest market pric.
paid. Send for prices.
. "'' and shippinif fairs.
We make a specialty of FIXE COATS AND
SCARFS FOfe LADIES. AULABAUOK.
I508 Douglas St., Omaha.
Do You Drink Coffee
Why put the cheap, rank, bitter-RaTorml coffee la
yonrstomach when pure GERMAN-AMERICAN
COFFEE costs no morel Iaaiat oa bar'nt; it. Your
groeer veils It or can get It.
$5 Per Day
AND EXPENSES
DT Oar Rur-amta arw
ltalaaca naa Ya-t- a.
""i- ChiCe-aTOjMcttira and Frama Co..
iiaaaiacbuiTi. man .iwnnie ok nciarev. -rvaaaee
Portrait. Art Novaltlea and Glaaa, ROS aouth latta
Rc, Omaha. Wrltathl. w.,wvmwomn ,3m
Dn. BaRay Xarh. Tke
DENTISTS
M floor. Pawoa
ioek. cor. MM
tB rariia
Deataj oce la the Middle WilMtlTxinlii
li- a a n .n i a ZZi.fTlIr "Ptpuai
ma- vmjkm. nw -- - i,
- .wm.... MaHMaewaiKPa.
THE WUUf OfTICAL CO.
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aaW J aawawjar at, m aWaia OatJtaVCa-
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