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WSDMMDAI. BOVEMBEB 27. UK.
R. C STROTHER. ...
F. C STROTHER. ....
arUatakaa said far haa xaind. yam
mlaaali WBaa5Siak.
chamse m add:
SBBmaamam ana aaam aamaBnmamamanaaaiBBanaatwaaBv
tesaVavMMiaMlaaaavnaw
iftiSaaaea
Aaatlbanaoaldaa
Now that the Masons of this city
have shown that they canlayacor
aer stone with neatness and dispatch,
they should provide ways and means
to lay a corner stone for a fine Mason
ic temple next year.
There are so many cases of small
pox all over Nebraska every fall and
winter that people should take more
ceaerallv to vaccination. It is true
most of the small pox cases are vjry
mild, yet at its best it is a tedious and
loathsome disease. It sometimes hap
pens that a person, when vaccinated,
becomes quite sick, but that is a rare
exception. When one considers how
daneerous and destructive of lives
small pox used to be in olden times,
aad how comparatively harmless it is
since vaccination has been introduc
ed, every person should be vaccinated
about once in seven years, and it
would be a good idea to make it com
pulsory in tile schools.
Congress opens the first Monday in
December. Uncle Joe Gannon will
be re-elected speaker of the house
without opposition. All kinds of fi
aaacial bilk will be at once introduc
ed, and no doubt the survival of the
fittest will prevail. Whether it will
be a great central bank like France
and Germany have, whether the
government will guarantee the nation
al bank deposits, or whether we will
have asset currency or postal banks,
this present crisis will undoubtedly
lead to some pronounced and whole
some legislation. One thing is certain
ao one will advocate free silver at six
teen to one. The American people
caa trust President Roosevelt and the
republican leaders of congress to re
store confidence and prosperity in
short order.
For the last few vears wages have
been steadily raising, cost of material
for building and maintaining rail
roads has been increasing in cost
Railroads in Nebraska were charg
ing three centra mile for ordinary
travel and cut rates for all excursions,
the same as they were doing in more
thickly settled states like New York,
Pennsylvania and others, yet reform
swept this state like nearly all the
others, and cut off one-third of the
price that the railroads could here
after legally charge. In good times,
like we had, this cut rate increased
travel and kept the railroad receipts
up to paying conditions, but let hard
times come again once more and the
railroad companies will be able to go
into the United States courts and
show that the present rates do not pay
oa their investments, and will prove
their case, and all our reform state
railroad legislation may be knocked
oat. Railroad companies will lay
men off and cut the wages of others,
aad it is all largely brought about by
this reform railroad legislation. The
average farmer and the average busi
aess man could have well afforded to
pay three cents a mile for what little
traveling he and his family did, get
ting excursion rates when they want
ed to do too much traveling, if times
could be kept good, railroad men and
all laborers being in demand at good
wages, rather than force the railroads
to make an exceedingly low rate and
discourage from investing in their
stocks.
HHMMINHImNIS '
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WUlaTTli gin Hull.
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Dwirt lN)rrw near tan
Have your own.
Have a Victor. A
and a dollar a. week gives yoa the grand
soloists; the great bonds and orchestras: th
popular ballad singers; the comic song hits
a world of melody and fun.
Well tell you all about the easy-payment
pian today if
For sale by
Carl
lit
' T1wUjiagftheraer stone efthe
Vnativ Ifaa'a rShnatiaa aaanfiatinn
boildiar was certainly a success
everyway. The weatheraua was at
his very beat. The procession, made
ap of the Columbus CSty band, oar
public school childrea, the Columbus
Fire Department, aad the
and other lodges of the city,
The exercises were ' impressive.
Governor Sbeldoa's speech was not
alone eloquent aad impressive, but
his sensible advice to our people aot
to draw moneys that were aot actually
needed out of our beaks, that all are
perfectly good, will be beneficial in
this financial flurry. la the evening,
at the Masonic hall, a public re
ception was tendered to Governor
Sheldon and the grand lodge officers,
which was well attended. There were
many visitors in town, aad all highly
pleased with the ceremonies.
W. J. Bryan is very aaxious to
bring out a new issue. He finds his
railroad ownership so unpopular that
he has dropped that altogether, fie
now wants tile United States govern
ment to guarantee all deposits in the
national banks. If the people will
consider this new proposition carefully,
they will not approve of it. It would
practically force every private or
state bank out of business, or make
tsem all national banks. Mr. Bryan
has heretofore advocated government
postal banks, and we believe in them,
but we will need no postal saving
banks if the government guarantees
all deposits in National banks. It
has often been proposed that the na
tional banks should form association
guaranteeing safety to all depositors,
but the strong banks refuse to take
the risk, and why should the govern
ment? Mr. Bryan and his party are
opposed to centralization. This new
scheme emphasizes it.
SHALL WE BECOME WHEB.
First there was not "primary money"
enough. Gold was too scarce, and
prices therefore were low. Free coin
age of silver was proposed as the re
medy for scarce money and low prices.
But the country 'turned all this down.
Next thing all prices rose under the
gold standard, higher than ever.
Gold had become so abundant that all
prices soared out of sight, and there
was general complaint about the in
creased cost of living. Twould have
been better on a silver basis.
Thirdly, and lastly, gold, that was
too abundant, and was ruining every
body with high prices, only a month
ago, now is so scarce again that the
banks uuT the merchants can't do
their regular business, and the coun
try is suffering for silver again, or
more greenbacks or something. And
the gold standard, as usual, is blamed
for everything. '
Yet European countries, steadily, on
the gold basis, are doing business right
along, in their regular and orderly
manner, free from panics, and have
gold for shipment to America. What
then, is the matter with us? We sim
ply have been upsetting everything
by our financial excesses. Desperate
gambling in supposititious credits put
money out of sight
But there has been no "panic" out
side New York except that which was
caused by the inability of New York
to meet its obligations. That great
gambling joint took fright and noti
fied the whole country that payment
would be stopped. Such announce
ment from the financial and business
center of America instantly arrested
the business of the country. Other
cities had to look to Europe for money
to set things going again.
There is sufficient gold. There al
ways is; but it often is made "tight" by
the various fooleries of men. By one
folly or another in this country we
are continually doing -it, or we shall
be forced to admit that popular
government is a failure. Nearly all
business is done on credit, and we
must become wise enough not to abuse
credit, as we have done. Portland
Oregoniaa.
Have it at home.
small payment down
you'll call
FrHmli
Street
v..
Tkaakagiviag means away things to
the away difmreat types of men. aWith
the devout Christian it is a glad recog
aitioa of the goodness of his 'God,
whom he regards as the personal Ruler
of the universe, who gives or with
holds as pleases Him rain from
heavea aad fruitful seasons, and who
exercises a providential guidance over
all the affairs of men from the least
aad most trivial to the greatest and
most important With this personal
Guide he is in daily communion, aad
whether it has fared well or ill with
him the Christian expresses ia all
proper ways his dovoat thankfulness;
for he recognizes the right of the
Father to give or withhold from His
childrea as seemeth to Him best
This maa gets more out of Thanks
giving day than any other.
To the non-Christian it means much
less, though he feels that he owes
something to that Power that rules
the world, whether he calls it law,
nature, fate or luck, and is at least
thankful to something or somebody
that gave us in the corn country some
very hot days in September to hurry
up the corn crop, and some rainless
weeks in October to dry it out and
make it fit to pass as No. 2 or No. 3
on the market It is almost impossi
ble for either a thoughtless or thought
ful man to become so gross and world
ly that he does not recognize the obli
gation to be thankful to somebody or
some thing.
To those who have passed the meri
dian of life and can look backward as
well as forward, Thanksgiving brings
many memories, generally pleasant
but sometimes sad memories of other
Thanksgivings in other states and in
other homes, of friends who can no
longer gather around an earthly
Thanksgiving board, and of other
friends none the less friends because
now separated from them. For the
impress left upon the haman soul for
good or evil is an abiding impress.
To the grandfather and grand
mother it means an opportunity to
gather the children and grandchildren
around them and give them a good
time as well as to satisfy their own
heart hunger for fellowship with their
own flesh and blood. It gives them
an opportunity to note the develop
ment of the little ones in character as
well as in physique; a word of warn
ing here, a word of encouragement
there, and a word of good cheer to
everyone. It is good for these young
people to get in this close contact with
the old and learn to revere the hoary
head.
To the children it means what
don't it mean? Whether at home at
uncle's or aunt's, or at grandfather's
and grandmother's, it means such good
feeding as they have on no other day
of the year turkey and cranberry
sauce, oysters, pumpkin pie and dough
nuts galore. After his capacity for
taking in has been exhausted (all too
soon, and to his great surprise) comes
an opportunity for fine sport a rabbit
hunt, skating if it has been cold
enough to provide ice, or games of
some sort for all the young folks, a
chance to play and visit with cousins.
Then after all is over sleep such as
comes only to the tired eye lids of the
young and healthy.
As the years pass by these young
folks will take a larger view and see
in Thanksgiving more than a day of
visiting and feasting, and will learn to
recognize more fully the goodness and
wisdom of that Power that causes the
"sun to rise on the evil and the good,
and sendeth rain on the just apd un
just Wallaces' Farmer.
THE CROPS TOR 1S7.
The last of the preliminary crop re
ports for the "year having just been
issued by the Department of Agri
culture at Washington, the country is
equipped to make a close guess at the
volume of its leading farm products
for this season. We will have 2,554,
000,000 bushels of corn, 625,567,000
bushels of wheat, 741,521,000 bushels
of oats, 147,192,000 bushels of barley,
292,427,000 bushels of potatoes, and
13,911,000 bushels of buckwheat The
leading states rank in corn production-
in this order, beginning with the
head of the list: Illinois, Iowa, Mis
souri, Nebraska, Indiana, Texas, Kan
sas, Ohio. These states produced more
than two-thirds of the country's corn
crop for 1907, and more thaa double
the amount of the corn which was
grown in all the world outside of the
United States.
While the crops of 1907 are below
4he record of one or more previous
years, they are a fair average of the
past half dosea seasons. In money
value they will rank ahead of any
previous year, as prices are somewhat
higher than they were ia 1906, which
produced the largest aggregate farm
yield. The value of the agricultural
products of the country for 1906 was
placed at $6,794,000,000 by the De
partment of Agriculture, in its esti
mate oa December 1 of that year.
It is probable that the $7,000,000,000
wl HHHHaal awawTHssTW J
Groceries
Vegetables
Fruits
Produce
Eleventh Street.
products of 1907.
Usually when the farmers have
good times the country is prosperous.
The farmers are assured of good times
until the next harvest at least, and the
chauces are that 1908 will be more
favorable for them than 1907 has
been, for in backwardness of the plant
ing time 1907 broke all the recent
records. Prices of farm crops, like
prices of commodities of nearly every
sort, willoome down, to -some degree,
as a consequence of the money scare
and the temporary shrinkage in the
country's volume of activities, but the
farmer, like every other wage earner,
will be in good shape to meet this
brief setback. The agriculturist is in
a position to look the future in the
face with confidence. Science is equip
ping him to overcome such drawbacks
as lateness of planting season and
droughts, and he can count 'on com
manding henceforth a good many of
the prizes of fortune. St Louis Globe
Democrat m. CLEVELAND'S QUERY.
I With his good humor restored by a
chase through, the Jersey swamps
after the elusive rabbit Grover Cleve
land has consented to. discuss Mr.
Bryan's announced willingness to ac
cept the democratic presidential nomi
nation. In a signed article in the
New York Times Mr. Cleveland says:
To me the question seems to be to
whom we ought to look for leadership
in the democratic party. In view of
past experiences, what are we going to
do about it? This is a question that
may well command the immediate at
tention of the leaders. I do not think,
however, that this is the time to say
anything more on the subject.
Even the democrats who do not like
Mr. Cleveland and are usually eager
to quarrel with him .will be compelled
to admit that they .cannot find fault
with his position on this proposition
nor his argument in support of his
proposition.
" In. view of past experiences, what
are we going to do about it?" is lucid,
concise and temperate. The senti
ment is flawless and its logic unanswer
able. No democrats, no matter to
which of the fifty-seven varieties he
may belong, can read the venerable ex
president's statement without' admit
ting that he has handled the subject in
a manner that cannot cause offense,
even to the most sensitive. The com
ment may be read in any democratic
meeting in any section of the country
without starting a rough house. It
fits all situations that may arise in the
democratic party, and is applicable
both to present and future emergen
cies. However, Mr. Cleveland is not the
only contributor to the literature of
the day explaining the democratic di
lemma. The New York World start
ed it and the score now stands:
New York World What isa demo
crat? Grover Cleveland What are we
going to do abont it?
It remains only for Mr. Bryan to
join the issues by asking, "Where do
I get off this timer Omaha Bee.
3EARS EXPECT HARD WINTER.
Besides, Trees Are Putting en Extra
Thick Bark.
Jim Tompkins, the Mt Hood woods
man whose prediction last fan of a
hard winter was verlled. la again
out with a proaunciameato to the ef
fect that the coming whiter will dis
count that of last year and .will In ef
fect be a "peeler."
" Mr. Tompkins again bases bis pre
diction on the habits of the bears,
which he states are more numerous
in the lower valley than last year aad
are foraging almost ia the dooryarde
of ranchers to fatten up for a "pow
erful spell of kUlin' weather."
Them snowstorms we had last win
ter," says Mr. Tompkins, "won't be a
marker to what well ketch this win
ter. Every sign known to nator is
hoUerin' it out loud, and the bears
omnia' ia close to town' is a sure sign.
"Aaother ia the. bark on the trees.
Whenever it gits as thick as it Is aow
look out. Git plenty of wood, friends,"
concluded the woodsman, "and git it
aatck, feryouH have use for it mighty
HRE.DLLED TREES
THEY ARE NOT WORTHLESS
IS ENERALLY SUPPOSED.
Mere Serviceable Than Green Timber,
Says tha .Forestry
the Beet for Mine
Timbers.
A study of the amount, location and
quality of Are killed timber, and of
the extent to which it Is used, has'
been made by the forest service in a
number of the national forests ia the
southern Rocky mouataia region. This
brought out very strikingly, first, that
sound dried Umber is valuable, aad,
second, that though widely used la
some localities, it is regarded as not
worth using in others. The timber
which was not being used was found
Jo be fully as good as the other, and
the only cause for rejecting it proved
to be Ignorance of its true value.
The area covered by the study was
approximately 13,OO,00A acres. On
this area there is estimated to be 5f.
eOO.eoe feet of board measure of mer
stumpage. About 50 per cent of this,
per cent' of the total merchantable
stumpage. Agout 59 per cent of this,
especially of the larger dimensions, is
fit for saw lumber, aad all of It caa
be utilized in the round. There is
also a large amount of cordwood, suit
able only for fuel, charcoal and similar
purposes.
Fire killed timber should be bark
ed soon after it Is killed, In order
to prevent decay of the surface. If
the bark has been left on the sap
wood is somewhat decayed. Lodge
pole pine and Engelmann spruce have
about the same durability ; after 25
years about 50 per cent Is usually
standing, and the fallen timber, if not
I flat on the ground, lasts five or six
years. Balsam lasts about one-third
as long. Standing Douglass fir lasts
almost Indefinitely, and even when
flat on the ground decays but slowly.
Yellow pine' decays more rapidly since
it occurs' mainly below an elevation
of 9,000 feet On the other hand, on
account of the openness of its stand
it is rarely killed by fire.
In many places it is the popular
opinion that dead timber is very much
weaker than the seasoned timber. It
is even held that timber which has
been dead a number of years is weak
er than green timber, and that the
longer it stands the weaker It be
comes. These views are quite wrong.
By actual test It has been shown that
sound timber, as a matter of fact.
is almost as strong as seasoned green
timber, and much stronger than green
timber before seasoning. '
The chief use to which dead timber'
is now pot Is for mine timbers. For
this purpose it is even better suited
than green timber, because it is per
fectly seasoned and is light
It is estimated that the mines of
Leadville, CoL, use each month 350,
000 feet of board measure of dead
timber. There are also many other
large mining camps that use it in
wholesale quantities. In these camps
it is decidedly preferred to green tim
ber. For 15 years dead timber has been
used for railroad ties in the Pike's
Peak national forest where it has
proved entirely satisfactory. Wherever
dead timber is located sufficiently near
the track it is readily sold for ties.
Douglas fir, limber pine, yellow pine,
range pine, and, occasionally, Engle
mann spruce, are the species used.
In Denver, Col., dead timber has
been used for a number of years for
boxes, with excellent results. The
species used were mainly Engelmann
spruce and lodgepole pine. Limber
pine and Douglas fir were also used In
small quantities. The first two did
very well, especially the spruce, which
was used for such exacting packages
as cracker and biscuit boxes. Dead
timber Is eminently suited for making
boxes aad crates, because it Is odor
less and is perfectly seasoned. In
smaller quantities dead timber baa
been used for telephone and telegraph
poles, dimension stuff and fence posts.
Trade of Parte Rice.
During the 50 years prior to Amer
ican civil administration of Porto Rico
there were but four years In which
the balance of trade was in its favor,
and this balance aggregated but a lit
tle over $2,000,000, "while the balance
against the island was over $75,000.
000. The first two years of civil ad
ministration showed a trade balance
of $750,000 each against the island,
while the last five years show a bal
ance of $7,250,000 in its favor. Re
view of Reviews.
Little Pleasure in It
Mrs. Dawdle Oh, I don't like to go
to that store. Shopping there is so
unsatisfactory.
Mrs. Wise Why, they have every
thing you could possibly need there.
Mrs. Dawdle That's Just it No
matter what you ask for they caa suit
you right off. Philadelphia Press.
The Master Stroke.
"This stroke will make our rivals
see stars," declared the foreign man
ager. .
"But that won't do," exclaimed the
impressario. "We want to deliver such
a stroke tnat our rivals cannot
stars." Kansas City Times.
A Good Institution.
Matrimony must be a pretty good
institution. Judging from the vast
number of widows and widowers these
days who are willing and even anxious
to try it again, "unsight unseen."
St Louis Post-Dispatch.
Smoking Soldiers.
The experience of Lord Wolseiey
of the British army has been sueh
that he has always made it a rale at
allow, whenever possible, the aaV
dlers under his command au
of tobacco a month, which he
era a fair allowance, and with the ana
of which he finds the soldier does Ml
best work. Ia Italy the mOKary au
thorities recognise tobacco an oae at
the comforts essential to troops aad
cigars are served out to them with
their daily ratloas. Washmgtoa Her
PUBLIC HAS RISHT TO KNOW.
Truthful
Labels on
a Requisite.
Determined effort is being made ay
the manufacturers of canned gcode
throughout the country to induce the
secretary of agriculture to defer the
enforcement of the provision of the
pure food act which requires the label
en canned goods to state "the sub
stance of the product and the place of
manufacture." The chief argument
used in making the appeal is that the
manufacturers have already Uad
printed labels, costing at least I'OO.-900.-that
would be lost by the enforce
ment of the act
The argument of the canners will
aot hold. They have had ample no
de of the operation of the law aad
all of ita provisions, aad it must be
their loss if they have not made prep
arations for observing the federal act
Incidentally, the fact that their present
labels dp aot meet the requirements
of the law, in other words, do not
state in subsance the contents of the
can, hi the best argument in the world
for the destruction of the labels and
the printing of new ones that will give
the customer some substantial hint of
what he Is buying. The time is past
when a manufacturer can mis 4
water and glucose and label II
Vermont Maple Syrup," or pass can
ned rabbit off for "Select Canned
Chicken."' The man or woman who
buys "Choice Canned Veal" wants
some assurance that the caa is not
filled with goat meat or something
less palatable. When the purchaser
pays the price for a big tin of "York
8tate Apples" he does not want to
be disturbed and angered by opening
It to find it filled with parodies on the
original Garden of Eden fruit
The label question la a simple one.
If the manufacturers have supplies of
them that do not meet all of the re
quirements of the federal law. the
defect may be remedied by the use of
"sUckera" supplying the omissions.
If the labels were prepared for the de
ception of the customer, they should
have never been used at all and the
sooner they are destroyed the better
for all concerned. In the matter of
canned goods, most of the Americans
are from Missouri.
No Cheaterneld.
A Christian Scientist of Boston was
praising the late Earl of Dunmore.
"Lord Dunmore," he said, "waa a
good Christian Scientist and a good
Tall and robust and supple, I can
urn still with his short gray
beard and his kind face. His only
fault a fault due to his aristocratic
upbringing, no doubt was the exag
gerated value that he set upon cor
rectness. Ho Insisted In correctness In
eating. In dress, in everything.
"At a dinner in Beacon street last
year I heard him tell a story about
an incorrect self-made man. or nou
veau riche,' as he called him.
"This man was dressing one night
to go out His wife bustled into the
room before he started, to look him
over.
"'But George she said, reproach
fully, 'aren't you going to wear your
diamond studs to the banquet?'
"No. What's the use?' George
growled. My napkin would hide
anyway.' "New Orleans States.
Lacked Courage.
Mike Maloney's wife was an invalid,
and the doctor had been doing all
sortsof things for her; changing the
medicine so often that poor Mike's
iacome would scarcely reach and
make both ends meet; and at last the
doctor said that his wife must go to
a warmer climate.
Mike listened to that advice for
several months, and finally when Oc
tober came, the doctor told Mike, one
Saturday evening after all of his
week's wages had been spent that his
wife positively must be sent "to a
warmer climate without delay."
Mike left the, room for a few min
utes, and when he returned, he was
wiping his eyes with his left hand,
while with hla right hand he brought
an axe which he gave to the physician,
saying:
"I hate to do It Doc. Ton please do
It for me."
Bettor Than Two.
The foreman of a railway construc
tion gang engaged on a spur near Phil
adelphia was approached not long
since by an Irishman of the gang,
who asked about a job for his brother
Dennis.
"He's Just as good a man as me
silf," said Mike. "Can't ye fix him
here?"
"T guess so,' responded the fore
man. 'Send him here to-morrow
morning."
"Whoile I'm about it," continued the
Celt Td loike to put In a wor-rd
for me other brother, Malachl."
"Is he a good man, too?"
"Me fri'nd." said the Irishman, Im
pressively, "Malachi's a better man
than mesllf an' Dennis put together!"
"In that case." said the foreman
with a grin, "tell Malachl to come;
and you and Dennis can look for other
jobs." Harper's Magazine.
Clyde Fitch's Advice.
At a dinner given in his honor In
New York not long ago, Clyde Fitch
told of the advice he once gave an
aspiring young novelist who worried
him with his books. It appears that
the embryo Fielding was better quali
fied to sell shoes than write novels.
One day he came to Mr. Fitch in a
great state of mind. He declared:
"No one will read my manuscripts.
There is a conspiracy of silence
against me."
"Join it" advised Mr. Fitch. Satur
day Evening Post
She Teld Him.
"About the greatest man who ever
Hved la this commuaity was Dug
Skinner; broad miaded. big hearted,
aad brilliant; aad yet he died with
an his talent aad goodness uasas-
"How did yea
to find out
about R?"
-I married his
widow." Houstoa
H
Diet
V
Un
Standard
Typewriter
For Speed
Safety, Surety
A solid roadbed is es-.
sentiaL Visibility 4b
Speed in the Under
wood (Tabulator) type
writer are supported
by perfectly balanced
construction.
BBjajaajmrammj ivammaajamay
1617 Farnam St
RUSES OF AUTOGRAPH SHARKS.
Ingenious Methods Ured te Elicit Let
tera from Noted Men.
No one Is better "posted In ruses
to which collectors resort In order to
secure putographs from living celeb
rities V ?.n a certain London dealer.
There is r.ot enough profit ' la their
saie to encourage aay number of peo
ple In this country to secure auto
graphs for the purpose of disposing of
them to the dealer, but writing to
celebrities and selling their replies to
the dealer in question is a means of
livelihood to no small number.
No one perhaps has outwitted la
cleverness the methods of Gen. Cist.
whose collection, sold after his death,
brought one of the highest prices of
any sale in the world. Cist was a
skillful penman and a born letter
writer. He wrote in such a way that
he rarely failed, to elicit lengthy aad
interesting replies. He would write to
a stateman saying that a party had
applied to him for employment and
given the statesman as references.
"Was So-and-So ever In your employ
as private secretary?" he would write.
Cist was a recluse, a hermit Ho
estranged from his family. His
days were passed in America ia a
room littered with books aad papers
of rarest value, secured through the
most ingenious ruses.
The cleverest modern autograph eel
lector whose methods became kaowa
to dealers was the late Benjamin Aus
tin, a resident of the United States.
He organized a literary society In his
imagination, to which he elected as
honorary ' members all the distin
guished men aad women of Europe
and America. When notified of their
election they naturally replied, thank
ing him for the honor conferred. Ia
this way he secured much excellent
material. Doubtless he made the col
lection with a view to Its subsequent
monetary value. After his death his
widow sold it but values had do
creased and it did not bring anything
near the price that might reasonably
have been expected.
New Term in Law.
The plaintiff was stating his case:
"Tour honor, I was walking alongside
of the waiting train, when this man.
who is a stranger to me. and without
any cause whatever, reached out of
the car window aad planted a couple
of powerful blows upon my face."
"Tour honor." expostulated the de
fendant "I was so enraged by the de
lay of that train and the miserable
service of that road In general, that
f just had to give vent to my feelings
ia some way. I couldn't restraia sty
self." "I feel for you," admitted the judge,
who had occasion to travel on the
same road, "but I am compelled to
fine yon nevertheless. That pJr of
hand-me-downa will cost you just
110."
What Sh Wanted.
Mrs. Jones That old maid next
door is the most brazes, borrower I
know!
Mrs. Brown Indeed!
Mrs. Jones Yes. Why, only yester
day she came over to inquire if she
could borrow my husband for an hour
to mow her lawn, thrash a maa who
had insulted her aad discharge aer
cook. Tit-Bits.
Viennaa
It has beea proved that ao fewer
thaa 31.999 heggara are at present
making a better living in Vleaaa
thaa ordinary workmen. Oae notori
ous family of professional beggars
recently gave a grand baU aad a
concert at a local hotel.
Different
"He took mo to the opera."
"Wasn't that grand?"
"No. comic" Clevelaad
Dealer.
'-?
Women Go Half
Women, because they eat so
less, only pay half rates in the
oW-taaaJoaed of Swedea's hotels.
The Woman Every One Likes.
The womaa whom every one likea
is an excellent talker and listener but
" uwm more taaa she talks.
never gossips, but she is kind aad
wi i aer judgments. She has a fac
ulty of remembering Hkea and dis
likes, sad never treads oa other nes
derwood
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