Nebraska Newspapers

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VOLUME XXIX. NUMBER 7.
COLUMBUS. NEBRASKA. WEDNESDAY. MAY 25, 1898.
WHOLE NUMBER 1,463.
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.CAMPFIBE SKETCHES.
GOOD SHORT STORIES FOR
THE VETERANS.
Staff to Atake BTerf Old Fert Tactagas
Oae ef the Largest aad Matt Costly
Straerarc of the Kind la the WofM
With the 34 Iadlaaa Cavalry.
To tho Aasarlcaa Eagle.
Oh. wherefore do Jhine Iron talons bold
The thunderbolts of Jove.
Thou lordly bird of light and liberty.
That long from seaside prove
To midway sands '' ,
Of arid lands
In might hast spread thy pionlons
And seen expand
O'er sea and land
Thy prosperous dominions?
Why dost thoc bear the arrows of the
sky
In all thine airy flight.
Except it be to strike the tyrant down
In Freedom's holy fight.
Thou are the war-lord of the freemen's
host:
Their eyes are turned to thee;
Thy, .wings unfettered, thou alone caa'st
soar
Above the AntiUian sea.
Thy duty lies
Where tropic skies
Behold a nation dying.
War-worn, and where
Is seen in air -
The Spanish vulture flying.
There swells the war for manhood and
for roan.
There roars the noble fight
That heroes wage, out-numbered and out
ared. For the dear prize of right.
I;t thy swift wings disturb the southern
day.
Thy shade on Cuba fall.
Let thy red lightning flash from cloud to
cloud.
Thy volco to freedom call; - .
Then everywhere.
The sea. the air.
Thy warrior gaze delighting,
Will change to forms
Of wrathful storms.
Their myriad mights uniting.
And breed a hurricane that shall upbear
The vulture from his hold.
And sweep him back beyond Atlantic's
flood.
Into his cavern old.
Henry F. Thurston.
Lively Firing at Nashville.
When we reached Nashville, on our
way south the first time (company G,
3d Indiana cavalry), we established
our camp near the Institute for the
Blind, on the road leading to Lavergne,
about fifteen miles distant Here we
remained for several days resting, and
during this time there was considerable
talk of capturing Lavergne, which was
held by a force of confederates that
were committing all sorts of outrages
on the Union inhabitants, as well as
having murdered a number of Union
soldiers that had fallen Into their
hands. It was understood that the cit
izens of the town encouraged them in
this, and there was a general desire
throughout the army to wipe out the
place. Finally a considerable force
was sent against ifof cavalry, infantry
and artillery. The 3d Indiana and 7th
Pennsylvania composed the cavalry.
We started at daylight, under the
command of General Willich, cf the
S2d Indiana Infantry. By noon we
reached the outskirts of the town, and
were "saluted with a volley from the
rebel battery. Our own battery soon
got into position, and the firing was
kept up on both sides for some time.
It was a kind of an artillery duel. In
which little damage was done to our
side. Presently, it was discovered that
tho rebels had begun to retreat, and
General Willich moved into the town,
and with 3d Indiana and then 7th
Pennsylvania, Col. Robert Klein com
manding our battalion, held a confer
ence with Gen. Willich, and it was de
cided to burn the town. When this
had been determined, the infantry mov
ed back toward Nashville, leaving the
town in our hands. When Col. Klein
had told us what was to be done and
given us our instructions, several men
vrcre quickly detailed to apply the
torch, while the rest remained on
guard. The houses fired were vacant,
the owners having fled with the re
treating rebels. We had no time to
carry away household goods, and these
went up In smoke with the houses.
When the destruction had been com
pleted, we took the road to Nashville;
but, hearing some firing in our rear,
we Instantly formed In line of battle,
expecting an attack, but the enemy
failed to advance. We remained in
line some time, looking at the ruins
of the town. Its destruction was a
large job completed in a short time.
When we reached out Nashville camp,
hungry and tired. It was nearly dark.
Fort at Dry Tortngas.
Fcrt Jefferson, at Dry Tortugas,
which has been awakened from a thirty-year
sleep, is not only one of the
largest and most costly military struc
tures of masonry In this country, but
is also one of the most Isolated mili
tary structures in the world.
Passengers by the steamers from Key
West to New Orleans, when four or
five hours out of port, see three lone
some structures, rising apparently out
of the water, with no land in sight, and
no foliage to protect them from the
burning sun of the Gulf of Mexico. The
largest of the trio is Fort Jefferson,
which, during the civil war was the
dreaded military prison of the Dry
Tortugas. The second, a mile or more
to the northwest, is the lighthouse bear
ing the official name of Tortugas light,
but locally known as the Loggerhead
Key light. The third building, almost
within pistol shot of the fort, is a
rough, temporary house of boards,
cheerless and forbidding enough to
seem what it has been for some years
the pestbouse of the Tortugas quar
antine station.
As the vessel approaches the build
ings it is seen that each stands upon its
cwn little islet of sand, and these three
sand keys are all that remain of the
Dry Tortugas. With its double row of
ragged portholes, its six great bastions,
each large enough to be a fort In it
self, and its broad, granite-walled
xroat. Fort Jefferson looks far more
Imposing than the modern fort of earth
worts. Congress made the first appropriation
of J50.000 for the construction of the
fort in 1844. and the work was begun
In 1846.
The Hyata Saved Wa Ufa.
The Presbyterian prints a war anec
dote of an unconventional sort. Differ
ent readers will read more or less into
it. according to their different habits
cf mind, bnt all will ind it interesting.
Some Americans who were crossing
' (he Atlantic met Im the cabin on Son.
fry sight ty slag hymns Astneyarag
the last hymn, "Jesus, Lover of My
Soul," one of them heard an exceed
ingly rich and beaatiful voice behind
him. He looked round, and although
Jie did not know the face, he thought
that he knew the voice. So, when the
music ceased, he turned and asked the
man if he had been in the civil war.
The man replied that he had been a
confederate soldier.
"Were you at such a place on such
a night?" asked the first man.
"Yes," replied the second man, "and
a curious thing happened that night
which this hymn has recalled to my
mind. I was posted on sentry duty
near the edge of a wood. It was a
dark night and very cold, and I was
a little frightened, because the enemy
were supposed to be very near. About
midnight, when everything was still,
and I was feeling homesick and miser
able and weary, I thought that I would
comfort myself by praying and singing
a hymn. I remember these lines:
" 'All my trust on Thee is stayed.
All my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head
With the shadow of Thy wing;'
"After singing that a strange peace
came down upon me, and through the
long night I felt no more fear."
"Now," said the other, "listen to my
story: I was a Union soldier, and was
in the wood that night with a party
of scouts. I saw you standing, although
I did not see your face. My men had
their rifles focused on you, waiting the
word to fire, but when you sang,
" 'Cover my defenseless head
With the shadow of Thy wing,
I said, 'Boys, lower your rifles; we will
go home.'"
Grant's Illness.
Notwithstanding all the good argu
ments that have been offered against
the evils of excessive smoking it can
hardly be claimed that the habit is en
tirely responsible for the production of
cancer of the lips, mouth or throat,
says the New York Herald. Since the
illness of Gen. Grant it has been the
popular belief that the dreaded disease
from which he suffered was caused by
his overindulgence in tobacco. Thus it
may be easy to believe from a report
that another victim of tobacco has been
added to the long list of similar suf
ferers. The facts, however, in these cases do
not by any means confirm the theory.
It was well settled in Gen. Grant's case
that tobacco in Itself was not the Ini
tiative cause of hi3 throat trouble, but
merely induced a subsequent aggrava
tion of symptoms by the extra irrita
tion of the smoke passing over the al
ready diseased surface.
It is quite true that cancer of the lips
is very common among pipe smokers,
but the real factor of harm is not the
tobacco or any special poison it may
contain, but the persistent, localized ir
ritation of the pipe stem. Clay pipes,
above all others, are particularly harm
ful, as they are most easily heated,
have a rough surface for the lip, are
mostly used by persistent smokers and
are usually held stationary on one side
of the mouth, all cf which tends to fo
calize and intensify the irritation which
determines the malignant growth. The
first indication of the disease is a warty
patch on the lip at the usual point of
contact with the pipe stem. When dis
covered early it is perfectly amenable
to surgical treatment, the percentage
of cures being larger than that of any
other form of cancer.
6tnff to Make neroes Of.
At the Annapolis naval academy, on
Saturday, thirty-nine cadets who had
taken the four years' course were
drawn up in line and handed their
diplomas. The honor man. Cadet Lieutenant-Commander
John Halligan, Jr.,
of Massachusetts, made a little speech,
but there were no ceremonies. Usually
when a class goes out in June the exer
cises are elaborate. Halligan Is very
popular. He led the footballers on to
victory last fall and has been at the
head of cadet affairs generally. The
second man in tho class, Henry Wil
liams, hails from Maryland, and the
third. W. C. Watts, from Pennsylvania.
Nearly all the graduates are now on
board the warships in Hampton roads.
Halligan and four others have found
places on the flagship Brooklyn. Six
are on the Minneapolis, 6ix on the Co
lumbia and five on the Massachusetts.
Four go to Key West for berths on
Capt, Sampson's flagship, the New
York.
Story of Jeffersoa Dart.
Mrs. Lillle Deverenx Blake told an
interesting story of the Goddess of
Liberty on the Washington capltol the
other day. It was during a discussion
of the life of Jefferson Davis. "Yon
may not know," she said, "that Davis
was one of the committee to select the
statue of liberty for the top of the
capitol. The goddess usually wears a
little cap, you know. This Is called
the Phrygian cap, as it was given to
their slaves by the Phrygians, when
emancipated, as a badge of freedom.
Davis said the statue should not have
such a headdress, so instead she wean
a helmet with feathers. "American
liberty was never a slave," he amid;
"she shall wear no badge bnt the
feathers of the eagle of freedom."
Secret societies have charms that are
often displayed on watchchalns,
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UNNECESSARY FEARS.
Che Heat Was Merely Tlpey, Hot
voagefeJ.
Some time ago a well-known Cleve
land man had a slight altercation with
a prominent local official, in the coarse
of which he made a remark that at the
time must have seemed extremely of
fensive to the other party. He rather
regretted making it after he walked
away, bnt it was too late to recall it,
says the Plaindealer of that city.
What was his surprise, therefore, when
not long after the squabble be received
an invitation from the aggrieved man
to attend a select dinner at a promin
ent hotel. He was quite ready to bury
the hatchet and promptly accepted
what he considered a peace offering.
It was a dinner party for men only
and a number of well-known citizens
sat around the festal board. The host
was directly opposite the man who
had hurt his feelings and the latter
was rather startled to notice that the
entertainer regarded him with a decid
edly malevolent glare. Then he thought
he saw it all. Instead of desiring to
bury the hatchet the host had Invited
him there to denounce and humiliate
him. Every time he looked up that
cold-blooded stare met him. The
guests talked and ate and drank, and
made little speeches, but the host con
tinued to keep his stony gase on his
uncomfortable victim. Several times
the latter thought the moment of de
nunciation had come. The entertainer
appeared to point at him and to ges
ticulate in a menacing way, but each
time something occurred to turn him
from his purpose. Finally he gained
his feet "My time has come," mur
mured the unhappy guest With a
steady stare the host raised his arm
and with finger outstretched, pointed
directly across the table. He opened
his lips, but no sound came from them.
Then he slipped back in his chair and
by gentle degrees slipped to the floor,
where he lay in peaceful slumber for
an hour or more, his guests meanwhile
cheerfully singing his praises. Then
the man who tells the story understood
it all. The host had evidently come
to the banquet board heavily loaded
and what the guest had mistaken for
a malevolent stare was merely a des
perate effort on the entertainer's part
to fix and hold his rapidly scattering
senses to something tangible. "He
was Just holding on by my eyelids,"
says the man who tells the story.
COSTA RICA BANANAS.
Delicious Fralt Comes from the TFest
Iadlan Islaad.
"The best bananas grown In the
rorld come from Port Llmon, Costa
Rica," said a New Orleans man to a
Washington Post reporter. They are
shipped from" Port Limon, and the
country grower gets about 30 cents
per bunch In gold. He is notified by
wire from the seaport when to cut,
and has two days in which to gather
and deliver at the railway. Trains
composed of well-ventilated cars take
the fruit to a fast steamer, which is
waiting to convey it abroad. The
bunches will average about fourteen
hands each and each hand has from
seventeen to eighteen bananas. When
the bunch gets to New Orleans or New
York they are worth about $4 each, a
tremendous advance over the price
paid the Costa Rlcan producer. The
planter, however, is surer of a safe
profit than any other person handling
the fruit Jamaica negroes do all the
labor attendant on the planting, cul
ture and cutting, being better adapted
to the work than the native peon. Ja
maica bananas often make a finer ap
pearance, but are not so prolific as
the Port Limon product The best
plantations of Costa Rica are subject
to overflow and the waters deposit a
silt that greatly enriches the soil.
Crops are ready for cutting the whole
year round."
Advertising.
Tramp "I called ter see, lady. If I
could do sum work for ye." Kind La
dy "What can you do?" Tramp
"I'm a sort of dentist, mum. I want
ter advertise; so I'll put a set of teeth
into a good pie fer nothln'." Pick-Me-Up.
FOIBLES OF THE FAIR SEX.
The sad fate of the president of an
Iowa "Don't Worry Club" has Just been
learned. Business difficulties cause!
her suicide.
In France it is proper for a girl to
pray for a husband; for a youth, first
to decide to marry and then look
around for his ideal.
Rumor has it that cx-Empres Eu
genie will leave a handsome fortune to
Queen Victoria's favorite daughter, the
Princess Battenberg.
Gum chewing women will be glad to
learn that In the opinion of a promi
nent New York denttet, the habit is a
healthful one for the teeth.
It is said of Ming Jung, the profes
sional footbinder of California, that sh3
has an income of $15,000 and pays taze3
on 150,000 worth of property.
Item containing food for thought:
The American women of today who are
distinguished for their literary attain
ments are not college graduates.
The evils attending the emancipa
tion of women thicken and increase.
Here is a man inventing condensed
food tablets that do away with the ne
cessity of cooking!
A sister of Buffalo Jones, the Kan
sas and Nebraska celebrity, says an
exchange, has become insane in Lon
don, where, under the nom-de-plume oi
Ilda Orme, she has won recognition as
a song writer.
Upper class Italian women are re
ported as being as ignorant of the
needs of the poor as was unfortunate
Marie Antoinette, who once exclaimed:
"Why do the peo;le cry for bread when
they can get nice cakes?"
WHY?
Why isn't a fireman a hose-supporter.
Why Isn't a telephone girl's occupa
tion a calling?
Why isn't a dude who wears gaudy
ties a Beck-romancer?
Why shouldn't a home for old people
be called aa orphan asylum?
Why should womem have two ears
and only oae tongue whea everybody
kaows they woald rather talk Ave
hoars than listen ire siiautas? The
Nawa, - -
FLYING SQUADRON
WONDERFUL FLEET UNDER
COMMODORE SCHLEY.
Could Give Oattle to Air Earopeaa Na-
tlea and Come Oat with Colon Fly
lac Two Ilaadred aad Forty Fear
Can la All.
The function to be performed by
Commodore Schley and his flying
squadron at Hampton Roads in. the
naval campaign, to be waged by Uncle
Sam against Spain as planned by the
strategic board of the navy depart
ment at Washington is a very impor
tant one. The commodore has at his
command the cream of America's
fighting Bhlps, says the Philadelphia
Times of May 7. With them he could
at short notice strike a blow at any
of Spain's Atlantic possessions which
would be paralyzing in its force. He.
could as well concentrate his fleet' at
any poiat aloag the Atlantic coast that
might Te threatened' by ' Spanish 6omf
bardment and invasion. He could if
necessary hurry to the assistance of
Admiral Sampson before Havana and
reinforce the blockading squadron be
fore any attack could be made upon it
by any considerable Spanish fleet. He
in short,' occupies with his ships the
central position In the Atlantic field
of action and is bound to be called
upon to engage in the first battle of
Importance that is fought here. On
him, therefore, the attention of the
American people will be centered. His
action will Indicate more truly than
any other symptoms the approach cf
a crisis.
In his present position he stands
really as the defender of the Atlantic
coast lice. His two scout ships, the
Minneapolis and the Columbia, have
been engaged off New England in pat
rolling the course of the Paris. They
have not lost sight of their, primal
duty In this particular assignment
Had the Paris not been expected to ar
rive they would still have spent the
past week engaged in some such work.
They will continue in tho next fort
night unless some more active duty
presents on the same line and will
sound the warning to their fellows in
the Chesapeake of the approach of any
Spanish force upon any portion cf the
American coast.
THE FLYING SQUADRON
COMMANDERS.
Meanwhile the four big fighting en
gines, the Brooklyn, the Texas, the
Massachusetts, and the Katahdin,
have nothing to do but wait develop
ments. This condition will continue
until the new fleet being organized for
Commodore Howell is ready to relieve
the flying squadron of the task of
coast defense. Commodore Howell is
ready to relieve the flying squadron
will never be withdrawn a consider
able distance. Their operation may
include some work at Havana, but as
long as there is the possibility of a
Spanish attack they will not cross the
Atlantic to engage in any aggressive
campaign.
The action of the Spanish forces will
undoubtedly depend on the state of
Blanco in Havana. Spain will certain
ly not abandon Cuba without a severe
struggle. Her only chance of holding
it is to defeat the American forces in
Cuban waters. Unless the United
States precipitates a Cuban crisis by
invasion and occupation her action
will be delayed as long as possible.
When the time comes for the United
States to strike such a blow Spain's
first idea will be to divert our naval
forces so that co-operation will be
impossible. Gaining this end the na
val and military forces would Clash
separately, but falling, Cuban waters
would still see the first naval engage
ment of consequence.
In such an engagement Commodore
Schley would figure prominently. The
armament which his fleet carries is the
most formidable of any six vessels in
the American navy. The Brooklyn
stands first in the list of American
vessels, carrying twenty guns in her
main batteries alone, while the Massa
chusetts follows closely on her heels.
Even the Minneapolis and the Colum
bia have eleven guns in their main
batteries and compare very favorably
with the other first-class American
ships. The Katahdin, of course, is not
measured in strength by her arma
ment She is still acknowledged to be
one of the most terrible engines of de
stractioa which modern naval con
atractioa has evolved. Her turtle
back ram could do a. marvelous work
y
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a a battle where the larger chips
uld be powerless. She completes a
ost remarkable squad.
Cutsldc of a battle in the vicinity
f Havana the squadron docs cot look
r any severe actions in the near ta
re. A bombardment of any of the
orthcrn ports would be attempted if
t all by a comparatively small num-
er of Spanish ships. The approach of
e American fleet would doubtless
rive them off in speedy retreat
VThs possibility of an attack on Span-
possessions is the only other likely,
rto Rico might become the object
atttack and attention might even
distracted to the Canaries. Neither
(ferns to be more than remotely pos-
ible. This work will devolve, should
be decided upon, on Schley's fleet,
d an attack on Spain itself would be
by them.
,v-The new squadron under Commo-
rc Howell, which will relieve Schley
tax me worx oi aeicnaing me coast, is
a strong fleet. Its duty will be.
addition to defense of the coast, the
aWtractipa.qf JSpanish commerce on
tho fflghseasrV5anFranc!ico and
the New Orleans will be the main
fighting ships in the squadron, while
the Oregon and Topeka will doubtless
be added to it when they are home
ready for service. The liners the St.
Paul, the St. Louis, the Harvard and
the Yale are four more of Howell's
boats, while the Panther, the Badger,
the Yankee, the Dixie, the Yosemlte
and the Prairie complete the list.
The new ships cf this auxiliary fleet
are most interesting. The New Or
leans was the former Brazilian war
ship, the Amazonas, while the Topeka
was formerly the Diogenes. The others
were all transatlantic liners.
The following l!st cf the fleet will
be most Interesting.
Ship. Former Name. Class. Guns.
San Francisco ICruiser 12
New Orleans Amazonas !Cruiser 12
Topeka Diogenes Cruiser 10
St. Paul Cruiser 24
St. Louis CruisT 24
Harvard New Yort Cruiser 24
Yale Paris Cruiser 24
Yorktown Gunboat 14
Badger Yumuri Cruiser 12
Yankee El Nord Cruiser 22
Yosemita El Sse Cruiser 22
Dixie El Sud Cruiser 22
Prairie El Rio Cruiser 22
Main battery only. Protected
cruiser.
AND ITS
The Preacher TVa Iite.
The Cherry Street Baptist church
has one of the swellest colored con
gregations in the city. A great gath
ering of the church members and many
mere outsiders no less fashionable than
they assembled at the church to wit
ness a very select wedding. Joseph
Meredith Bradford had come all the
way from Washington, D. C, to carry
off as his bride Miss Marie Louise Fon
tain, of No. 1214 Pine street Promptly
at noon, the hour set, the bride and
groom appeared at the altar. A ripple
of admiration following the advent of
the bride was succeeded by an embar
rassing silence. The minister Rev.
W. A. Creditt, was not on hand. The
groom fidgeted nervously, and the
bride, growing a3 pale as possible,
showed a disposition to faint Mur
murs of dismay began to buzz through
the church. Ten, twenty, thirty min
utes the anxious couple waited. Then
they determined to go elsewhere. They
were leaving the church when sud
denly the minister appeared and the
wedding went on. Philadelphia Rec
ord. Aa Awfal Possibility.
Wandering Willie Great Scott,
pard, y' look all broke up. What's the
matter? Thirsty Theodore (drawing a
deep sigh) I went inter that there
blamed drug store and when the clerk
wasn't lookin' I drank a lot of stuff
I thought was whisky, an' den I seen
by the label that it wuz bichloride of
gold. Wandering Willie Pshaw! Dat
won't kill yer. Thirsty Theodore I
know dat, but s'pose I shouldn't want
ter drink any more! Harlem Life.
A Better Demonstration.
"Newton discovered the law of gravi
tation by noticing an apple fall from a
tree, didn't he?" "Yes. If he hadn't
been so previous somebody might have
discovered it by seeing a beginner fall
from his bicycle."
Members of a secret society do not
go to a physician for the grip.
3pgy'Sammr-1
A'.ASKAN INDIAN WOMEN.
They Have Artistic AhUlty Despite Thais
Tollaome Uvea.
The huge, expressionless face of an
Alaska Indian woman shows but little
evidence of any ambition or ability to
perform even the simplest features of
domestic art, and yet the skillful and
artistic results of the handiwork of
these untutored aborigines is much
sought after by the tourists who visit
their villages during the summer.
Moreover, though the 'women are all
fat and lazy-looking, their lives are
not uninterrupted ease, notwithstand
ing that their needs are few. Abund
ance of fuel Is all about them, and
feed, which with them is synonymous
with fish, swims almost to their doors.
But the procuring as well as the pre
paring of this food is all accomplished
by the women. During the summer
they leave the villages and towns for
the islands In le3s frequented waters,
where they camp for weeks at a time,
catching and curing the fish for winter
use, while the men lazily watch them
or paddle and canoe, or otherwise
amuse themselves.
If an Indian's wire is in ill health
or too old to work he marries another
younger wife, usually a relative of the
first one. who is expected to provide
the food, while the first wife cares for
the house and children. Fish and ber
ries furnishing almost the only food of
these people, the woman have little
scope or ambition for developing culin
ary art, but in matters of personal
adornment they take keen delight. Dur
ing the long, dark winter they weave
beautiful blankets and baskets for
their own use and to sell. The blank
ets are made from the strong rough
wool of the wild mountain sheep. Yet
some of these are as soft as silk, and
in beauty of coloring and intricacy of
design rival the oriental rugs and
hangings. It usually takes a woman
six months to complete one blanket,
but many of them sell for prices rang
ing from $50 to $200. The much-sought-after,
genuine Chilket blanket
is about four feet long and two and
one-half feet wide at each end, but as
one side Is pointed, the center is a foot
wider than the ends, and on this side is
ornamented with a 10-lnch fringe.
These are worn in the dance, thrown
around the shoulders, with the pointed
fringed side hanging down. The de
sign is grotesque, consisting of conven-
tionaltzed faces of men ssd animals in
pale green outlined with blsek en a
white ground. Scncttacs dull blue
takes the place cf tfc pole green. A pe
culiarity which stamps their genuine
ness Is a fine thread or efcavlng of deer
skin in the center cf each h:rd twisted
strand of wild sheep's wool yarn, of
which they are made, rendering them
almost indestructible,-a)Womas's Home
Companion.
As She Understood It
He When a man begins to get absent-minded
you may know that he
is succeeding In business, or, at least
that he is devoting all his energies
to it. which, in the end, mu3t bring
success. She Oh, James. I'm so glad
to hear you say that Now I begin
to believe that the future holds some
thing in store for us. Yon kissed me
this morning when you went away.
Reduced to Figure.
A Glasgow paper thus analyzes the
music of thebagpipes: "Big flies on
window, 72 per cant; cats on midnight
tiles, 11 per cent; voices of infant
puppies, 6 per cent; grunting hungry
pigs in the morning, 5 per cent;
steam whistles, 3 per cent; chant of
cricket, 2 per cent" New York Trib
une. DON'T.
Don't envy the alligator his great
snap.
Don't Judge the sheriff by the com
pany he keeps.
Don't expect a man on his uppers to
be a whole-soled fellow.
Don't think the experience of others
often influences a man's actions.
Don't think that conscience prevents
many men from posing as heroes.
Don't worry about things that can't
be remedied. Make the best of them.
Don't tell a woman that you take
her to be an artist, Judging by her face,
unless you-are looking for trouble,-
Chicago Daily News.
QUIPS AND CRANKS.
Willv Slim How mach caa I get oa
this overcoat? Uncle Aboat asmaeh
as yon have paid oa it, I gaess.
"I believe in love at trst sight"
"Why?" "Because at tho first sight
you don't really know the girL
Indignant Old Lady Yonr boys are
constantly throwing apples at people,
and you do not stop them. Fanner
Why should 1? We have plenty of
them this year.
The Ink Stand The postage stamps
bet the envelopes this morning that
they would never be licked. The Pen
Wipcr How did "it come out? "Ob,
the stamps got stuck!"
"Who is that talking in the next
room in such a high key?" "That's
McChatter. He's trying to negotiate
a loan." "What a pity it is that a
man can't raise money as easily as he
can raise his voice."
TMrs. Benedict You don't think so
much of me, Charlie, as yon used to
before we were married. Mr. B. Of
course not, Carrie. Yoa and I, yoa
know, are one" now, and it womkl be
egotistical to think too much of one's
self.
Father MoralityThus saith the
scripture: "Six dajsshalt thou labor,
but on the seventh thou shalt rest"
Grccnisle Faith an as there's been a
contryvarsy about which is the rale
Sabbath, to be shure Oi're made up
mc moind to rest the whole sivin.
Circus Manager I tell you, fellows,
when those masked robbers boarded
the train, and with rifles and pistols
leveled at our heads, told us to hold
up our hands, wc all did! Voice from
the Rear I didn't Manager Who
fcpoke? Chorus of Freaks The Arm
less Wonder.
"Mr. Courtney asked me to marry
him last night," he blnshingly told
her mother. "And what did yon tell
him?" "I told him to ask you." "Ask
mc?" echoed the startled parent
"Why, Mary, surely you wouldn't
have your dear old mother commit
bigamy, would you?"
FACTS WITH FIGURES.
London has about 173 rainy days in
a year.
Italy's estimated population is 30,
000,000. The Chinese language is spoken by
fully 400,000,000 people.
Uncle Sam pays about 8103 a minute
in interest on the national debt
About 170,000 wolves are killed an
nually in Russia for the fur market.
The cost of a first-class battleship,
carrying 0,000 men, is about 95,000,000.
Ten per cent of the inhabited houses
of England and Wales are in London.
The number of women lawyers in
the United States is now more than
100.
It is estimated that the annual salt
product of the world is fully 7,300,000
tons.
Krupp employs about 10,000 men at
Essen in manufacturing his enormous
guns.
The czar has an income of 512,000.
000 a year, derived from his own es
tates. Arctarus, the "g:antof the planets,"
js estimated to be about 550.000 times
the size of the sun.
The total revenue of the church of
England is S29,767,735, of which sum
one-fifth is derived from rents.
Seventeen cities in the United States
arc each of larger area than Berlin
with its population of 1,579,000.
There are 161,010 persons on Eng
land's pension list and they draw
133,000,000 a j car from the treasury.
Iowa Farms for sale on crop payment. 81 per
acre cash, ba'ance '.4 crop yearly aa til paid for.
J. Mulhall. Sioux City. Iowa.
Observation Is the most enduring
of the "pelasures of life.
During the past two months the Bal
timore and Ohio Railroad company has
received 1,110 new bex cars. 1,239
double hopper gondolas, and 224 coke
cars of the order of 5,150 recently plac
ed with Pullman's Palace Car com
pany, the Michigan Peninsular Car
works, the Mlsseuri Car and Foundry
company and the South Baltimore Car
works. Deliveries are being made as
rapidly as the cars are completed.
Of 51.000 breweries in the world, 25,
000 are in Germany.
Important Iowa Inrentloas.
Among the subjects of recent appli
cations for patents prepared by us is
an acetyline gas generator that may
be small and used as a hand lamp or
large to supply a multiplicity of burn
ers and located wherever desired Tn
usual gas holder telescoplcally con
nected with a water tank and valves
and valve gearing are dispensed with,
and the flow of water and gas auto
matically regulated by hydrostatic
pressure and ga3 pressure. D. D.
Harge of Prairie City Is the inventor.
An apparatus for illustrating the
phenomena of thunder and lightning
mounted on a portable platform gen
erates and stores static electricity ir.
an artificial cloud suspended above
tho platform in such a manner that
when a minature building is placed
on the platform visible zig-zag cur
rents will leap from the cloud and
make splinters fly from the building
as sharp reports in imitation of
thunder shock tne ears of the behold
er. W. Dodd and A. D. Struthers of
Des Moines, Inventors.
Valable Information about obtain
ing, valuing and selling patents sent
free to any address.
THOMAS G. & J. RALPH ORWIG,
Solicitors of Patents.
Iowa Patent Office, Des Moines, low-.
May 11 1898.
"Some are ready to go to war the
moment they are needed," remarked
the observer of men and things, "and
others the moment they are not need
ed." Detroit Journal.
" Thomas B. Reed's Income as a
writer last year was nearly four times
as great as his salary as speaker of
the house. Just cow he is declining
all offers from publishers.
"What is the baby's name. Uncle
Rastus?" "Jawge Wash'n'fn Abra
ham Lincoln Jeff'son Davis Robert C
Lee Johnsing, sah." Chicago Tri
bune. "Old Grabber ought to be satisfied
with the money he asks." "He !s
satisfied so much that he wants a lot
more of exactly the same kind."
Tid-Bits.
"Some queer poetry has sprung out
of this Cuban affair?" "Yes. Isn't
it marvelous how war has been staved
off eo long?' Philadelphia North
American.
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