Nebraska Newspapers

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AND A MOON.
"l HE stood aader tiio
y green gloom of the
trees abd by the
churchyard palings.
J I The white light Of
I ' I the full moon shone
1V 1 down on the graves
of wooer a and
woed, touched the
face of the great
church clock, and
threw open a long
.. perspective of broad suburban road
. . ' with trcos and twinkling gas lamps.
. "and .the red and green bull'sieyes of
. traveling tratnears. Opposite a little
" station periodically belched forth a
. Uiin stream of railway passengers be-
.. tweca the "brown doors beplastered
-"with, placards and news stands. Each
: .. Clm the white cloud of steam rose into
- he air, and the doors became partially
...""obscured with, hurrying forms, she
. taoved a few steps forward, looked
cros3 anxiously, and then, as the last
..'raveler passed under the big lamp and
. was swallowed up in the car, bus, or
- .distant -road, she turned to the shadow
": t the trees and tapped a little foot
Impatiently upon the pavement At
. cfitn, when tears of rage and disap
.poiutment filled her eyes and choked
-. her threat, a man stepped briskly
. over to the deserted path by the church.
"Slvn turned and began to walk slowly
- wny up the road, but the attentive
r" ...poae of her brad betokened her knowl-:-
- ttlge of hi presence. He reached her
; ' side ami slid a hand down on her arm.
"Sorry to beep yen waiting, dear," he
Rad quickly and pleasantly. "An im
' , loitanr n,an came in and detained me."'
- . She did not respond to the coaxing
" -hand, mnrching along stiffly and say
JS, "O, it doesn't matter!" in a. Voice
which showed that it mattered tremen
dously , " -He cast a look at the pale, pretty face
-' -vt so haughtily upon watching the re
"" .JTdlhg car immediately In front of
them, thrust both hands into his coat
, pockets, and Raid, with n pita2 of sharp
.- weariness in hi3 lonfe, "Well, what's
wrong, then?"
She resented the shnrpnesr., and did
iot hear the tiredness; so she answered:
"O, well, I'm getting a littre tired of
'business'! You are always busy now.
You have always a man to see, a letter
to write, a call to make, an Important
negotiation to conduct, a committee to
attend, u document to tohsid&r. And,"
she ailOcl, Miiiiins slightly at her
Aitvickiug eloiptcnce. "if it is not one of
Uifc culinary cients, it is another stiil
nOre usual you are tired."
lie frowned; but he said cheerfully,
. "Well, that Imi'I ray fault, is it? 1
. jwork hard, and hard v.ork means fa
"Ustte when evening comes."
She did not see the frown, and his
-ktght dismissal of her arguments against
hiiu vexed her. She would show him
shs was not to Ihj trilled with. She
. looked up at the great round moon and
taid airily: "There is only cue thing
". left, then. It is very evident that you
bavc not a moment to spare in your
Ufe. You Jn!v often told me you could
uot efnie the time you give me a
, iJllfc hour walk twice a week. Well,
a lover who is alwajs too busy end too
tired to she jiis sweetheart any Of his
eocistj isn't much of a lover for a girl
to h.uo, is he?"
"I uupjjos? hot," he replied gravely.
'"I am always being dzsapiihtOd and
put off. or kept wailing Other girls go
two
;...-. cut wa!!.ins :u their lovers very
i : .. -often. When I go out with you it is
. "luilo an event, and one, which you np-;:..""-'
p&ar to think ought to be Riifiicicnt
.."i . 'pleasurable society for me for several
.' : ' months. Many girls would not submit
'...".'.-; -to such treatment."
":;Vt ". ""There rc many girls I should not
." ask to Io so," said he quietly.
.'"- ""Hit! long road had darkened. A
"; ' m .- '.hick, grey cloud sailed up out of the
. "..east and prrstd over the moon. Only
r" :-.: 'its edges were silvered by the radiance
': :.""."!" ?l obscured, and a few stars peeped
" "" -.through misty interstices.
.-. .-'-. "So. as you are to busy, and your life
":-". "so filled with other things, it is quite
" : -.Vetaln you have no room for me in it.
:""f"- l.a.ia tired of constantly waiting for
" -J:u, tired of jour continual busings,
1-V-J'Qur eternal wcaiiiuus "
, - .". lie raised his head with a sudden
I.. -juo.vement. a::d said sternly and fu
'.'. : jt.iously:
'"'.' "-: 'No! You want a Jazj-, lack-brain
'. '.. fool wiihcut ambiticn and without
:T-jf .Tnanlincbs; something that will flatter
.-"and fawn, and be alwajs at j'our beck
1 -;... ajid call liko a tervani cr a dog. I'm
'I 'not that kind. I have work to do hard,
". uphill woik, that needs all my atten-
::'t ;iion,'eueig and time, if i am to bring
"-"if tp a succetslul issue. And j-ou, to
.vriioui l ougul to look for chter and
. .ijelptul aliection, suee.- at me because i
'. cUii-uct a:i idle, loanng uiiotl"
-: iie.qumLtued his v.aik to aswingjug
--.WridOi She glanced at him sidewi&e
and. began to waver in her conndence
-o'tlitfr wiongs. The, lamps gleamed out
btightiy against the da-k skj-. The
.jncon had totally disappeared behind a
:J:mass of bcs.eging clouds.
I Oo jiot," said she. "I say j-oa have
:Bp Vooiu for me in your life, and so we
had -better make an end before com
.'"dtinciug a beginning that can have no
v-.cidr-s .
" - Very well," said he, and walked fast-
. ' er. She kept pace with difficult-. She
-:.".;sa.W tho lamp., the houses, the trees,
. -. tn.c passing cars and people dimlj He
J .'wi angry and disgusted and disap-
". ."pointed -with her! She wished she had
l' "fiecrMm nicelj-. Perhaps he could not
-.. I;eij being late. He was alwaj's very
". ". Sood-'aad kind. Now she had lost him.
,V .".SheT'aished she could cry, but the tears
" ;fefustd to "be shed. The climax had not
: 'arrived. She looked up at the moon-
'"less expanse of clouds miserably.
. presently he spoke r.gain. "And this
j ;iswhat I get for toiling incessantly
.Comparison "with fools whose whole aim
ia and end of life is to eat, drink and
; sleep, and put care on other folks"
; .-"shoulders! To think that I should have
Ue'eh such a gigantic ass! To dream
. , ana pian ana piot ana iaiur lor a
jj ' ' m'l woman who wants a lazy clown, and
,' rZ feers at me because I am tired!" He
V,.:.. 'choked a little, then said soberly: "Ah,
."".."..'well.'better now than later!"
m' ' ' She began to be frightened. Her
., . wroags where were they? What were
. ..;"" th'ey? Other girls? Other girls didn't
.. .hive fovers like this one strong, clever
. ' and Instinct with' manliness. Where
' .-.wis there a man like him, so gentle,
.. kind.-tme? How tender he had been,
.Vr "how loving! She crept closer to him
" 'and touched his coat-sleeve. An honr
ago and her hand would have been
taken lm his warn, trst palm. Ha did
toot notictt It aew. 8he pat her hand oa
bis artrirlijemaincd there and they
iralked tigeUler. At last she sighed;
Ha Ibokei down with a sudden
thoghtf illness. "Ton are getting tired.
Let us go back."
"0, Dick, don't be crossr"' cried she,
clinging to klm.
''I'm not cross. Make haste, bow.
We have walked farther than I intend
ed." She patted his arm caressingly with
her fingers, and once leaned her cheek
against his shoulder ia the dark titiiet
ness bf the street.
The clouds began to sift graddailjr
apart, and the stare were visible.
They were getting near hornet He
mtist not leave her like this.
rtO, Dick, dear, I do love yor x
trtatingly. He laughed bitterly. "I know yttt do.
my dear.'
Don't, Dick! 1 do love you 0, 1 do.
tdo!"
"If you loved" me you couldn't say
such things to me. You say I'm always
tired. You know I am tired because I
am working for our future. You say I
don't think of yon, or care for you, as
other men db for their sweethearts.
Look here" he drew a little bouquet
carefully wrapped in wadded tfaper,
from a side pocket 'y3u said yoti
wanted some of tis flower. I bought
that tonight, and lost a train by doing
so. I thought, 'She will be pieased
with that; I'll go back and get it 1
did and lost the train. Here's the
book you said you would like to read,"
and he pulled it from another pocket
She looked wistfully at the flowers
and the book, but did not attempt to
take them. She caressed his arm si
lently. They reached her home.
"No, I won't go in yet," she saldk dfcs
perately. "I won't go In till yod forgive
me."
"O, t forgive you. dearl Now run In;
it Is late."
"No, ndt that forgiveness," she vowed
impetuously stamping one foot down.
"I want you to love me. I love you."
"How can I love you when you throw
other, men at me, and jeer at me?"
"I don't. O. I know I am a beast,
Dick, darlingl But I do love you. Truly
I do!"
"Then what tnnkea yau go On stt?"
he nuked, half smiling at the face up
lifted to him.
The clouds were far apart, and the
moon Rhone through a diaphonoua veil
tinting the housetops with silvery
whiteness and forming great shadows
on the streets.
"Why." nervously, "I think It is be
cause I am naturally wicked, Dick,"
and the pure, tremulous eyes were
darkly remorseful. "I ant always think-
'3g&zc;&
DltEW HER CLOSE TO HtM.
ing nbout you and I think I only live
when t am with you. Nothing seems
good or enjoyable without you. I want
you always. And because you are so
busy and worried I get jealous and
lonely and angry because you can't be
with me. Sometimes when you don't
see me I fancy you are killed Or hurt,
and I fret abd fret; then you call,
and I am SO relieved it makes me angry
with yod. I don't know why. I sup
pose it is the reaction from the pnxiety
and terror. I love you all the while. I
don't suppose you understand, because
you arc a man and have other things;
but whatever I do or think you are
always mixed up with It all, like one
note continually recurring in a varied
tune. Don't be so angry, darling. I
know it was wicked of me, but you Will
love mo, won't you?"
He bent and kissed the pretty fatJc,
and drew her close to him.
The moon rose, large and serene,
above the floating clouds.
She put a hand up and patted his
face tenderlj.
"My pretty boy! what a wicked thing
to sax to j-ou! Poor boy! poor boy!
And yon are so good, and I knew all
the time I couldn't love anybody in the
world but you, and that I never look at
a man without thinking how much bet
ter mj bo is than he! O, dear! what
shall I do with my horrible self?"
"Whs, go in and go to bed, you silly
child!" he said tenderly. "There, kiss
me good night, and don't" say such
things again they hurt!"
"I know they do. I wish my tongue
could be pinched to pieces when I be
pin to say nasty things to you. Poor,
tired boy! Mj own dear darling, you
are good to inc. Good night," she
cooed.
"Good night, sweetheart. Look what
a splendid moon. Next month will be
our honeymoon!" he whispered.
She watched him walk away, and
then, with a last wave of her hand, to
him, gazed up at the moon sailing re
splendent across a cloudless sky.
. "O, moon, he is so tired, and I've
hurt him, and I love him so! I'm glad
he kissed me. the darling; but, O, I
am afraid he thinks badly of me! I de
serve it, I know; yet I cannot bear to
think he loves me the less. O, I will
never hurt him again!"
"Dear little soul!" said he to himself.
"She does love me, and I dare say she
does miss me; hut she should not haVe
said that. "She is a queer little reat--ure.
All women are. Well, when she is
my own, I will establish her in my love.
My little darling. Old moon, you've
seen a few millions of lovers. Were
they all like us?"
And the moon reached her zenith and
dominated the heavens.
Capable f Anything.
First Boarder The landlady is very
much worried toaight... Thinks her
daughter has eloped. Second Boarder
Don't believe a word of it She's cap
able of starting any report to get our
attention away fronvthe meals. Pack.
-.
The twenty-fifth anniversary of Dr.
Angell's presidency of the Dniversity
of Michigan was recently nsst fittingly
celebrated.
ftSjlL IfrtWi
vv w.asjir .r i
' 'fll f x
DEMON MADEIN JAPAN
SUPERSTITIOUS ORIENTALS DE
CEIVED: Aeeaaac RleM lm Three MoatM Cranial
Beaea el Horses aad bxemi ilerses
TeetH and a Steer's Hdraa Csed to
Make the Shall.
HE skeleton of a
min" irfia va
centiy placed 8n
" whiMtlnn In To
pan. it was ex
hibited over half of
the empire, and
caused ah immense
sensation wherever
$H ' was 8own- The
V ELU ''demon" is the
great bugaboo' of
the Japanese.
In the olden times In which, accord
ing to native tradition, the demon ex
isted, it was possessed of enormous
strength, a voracious appetite and a
pestilential breath, devasting a dis
trict with even greater dispa'tCIi than
the plague:
It is supposed to have had a reai ex
istence and to be extinct only in the
sense that wc know the dodo to be ex
tinct: Hence there are many natives
of Japan who believe that there is a
pcssibility that one remaining speci
men of the demon may be discovered in
ome remote place where it has been
eonccaclcd for many years.
Therefore, the skeleton, fabricated
by an Ingenious Japanese fakir,
amused great curiosity, and thousands
of Japanese- flocked to see it. Its own- !
cr grev rich, and his specimen might
hae continued to furnish evidence ot
the truth of some of the astonishing
folklore talcs of the masses had not
the fact that it was a swindle been
proved by the authorities. As it was,
the excitement over it was Immense.
Here is what the Japan Weekly Mail
saj-s of it:
"A most ingenious swindler recently
met with well-merited punishment at
the hands of tho Kumamoto police au
thorities, after having for more than
three months done a roaring business
by imposing on the credulity of the
Kyusht people. He exhibited what he
wr.s pleased to call the skeleton of a
demon, and has been convicted of
most daring duplicity and sent up for
a long term to a place where flesh and
blood demons are of not infrequent oc
currence. "His name is Michigami Kataro, his
native village Bingo, his real profes
sion that of a paper-hanger. Being
dissatisfied with the profits derived
from honest trade, he conceived the
idea of manufacturing a demon of the
good old-fashicned Shutendoji type, be
lieving with justice that he would
make a fortune by exhibiting so rare
and noteworthy an object. His pro
fessional skill stood him in good
stead in carrying out this plan, the
ingenuity displayed being well worthy
a better scheme.
"In manufacturing the huge skull he
used tha cranial bones of horses and
oxen. These he joined together niosr
deftly by covering them on the inner
side with skin taken from the stomach
of an ox. Hcrse teeth inserted the
wrong way were placed in the demon's
mouth, giving the skull a most fero
cious expression. Two horns remain
ed to be soldered on in strict accord
ance with the received traditions of
demons in Japan, and here again the
horns of an ox were pnt in requisition.
"The thorough preparations being
completed, he set out on a swindling f
tour and earned a substantial sum by
exhibiting his handiwork.
"But fate was lying in wait for him
at Kumamoto. The fraud was detect
ed and the swindling three the skele
ton, the document and tho man were
impounded and imprisoned. The man
made a clean breast of it, giving a
minute description of the manner in
which he had made the skeleton, to
the delight of the Kumamoto police."
Tourist parties of women cyclists are
to be c. feature of the English highway
this Kummer.
h a
LvlJ
mams
Iffip
A CITY PASTEL.
Plctared la the Dens Where Editors aad
Proof-readers ToIU
Once upon a time a wealthy proof
reader who possessed an entire box 6f
matches was accosted by an indigent
editor who wanted fire for his pipe and
possessed nothing but a copy of the
'"Light of Asia:"' The proof-reader
thus importuned declared he' could give
his comrade no assistance; as his
matches were Hard come by and he had
nothing but a good, fat salary between
himself and a heartless world. The ed
itor declared he was in the same fix,
and the proof-reader relented and gave
him one measly fugitive match with a
head on it that was so small it was
only a pimple.
"This match;" said the editor as he
struck it, "which, you have so gener
ously donated to the relief of suffering
humanity, has effected a marvelous rev.
olution in society for so small. a thing.
I recollect my grandfather telling me
of the trouble they used tb have in ob
taining lights ill the old days. How he
would sit up in bed while grandma
would paddle around in her pretty bare
feet hunting the flint on cold winter
mornings, and how when she had
found it while she was knocking a
spark out of the old flint dnd steel bri
was sure of ariother half hour's nap.
Wow! That infernal thing burned iny
fingers. Gimme another match!"'
"Not to any extent," replied the opu
lent proofreader. "If you had spent
the time you wasted on that chestnut
in lighting your pipe you would have
been out of the woods. You can cither
hunt a flint and steel or procure a light
from one of Mr. Edison's candles,"
Chicago Dispatch.
THE DEMON THAT SCARED JAPAN.
Cecil Rhofles as Utter Fall ore.
The astute president of the Transvaal
has acquired for the treasury a sum of
216,000, which will pay for many Max
ims, has silenced all prominent British
opponents of the lsr oligarchy and
has obtained a reputation for self-control
and merciful dealings with rebels.
He triumphs, in fact, all along the line,
and will probably now devote himself
with renewed energy to his two great
objects the acquisition of a pOrt Under
his own dominion and the destruction
of Mr. Cecil Rhodes, who is to him a
kind of bogy. We do hot remember so
complete a defeat of A British party
anywhere and regard the Incessant
paeans to its leaders' ability as uttered
in contempt of all visible facts. To be
crushed in the field, to be defeated in
council, to lose reputation and to for
feit great sums of money, these are
feats surely to which even the incom
petent are equal. "I could have done
that," said the Austrian emperor de
posed for incapacity, when he heard of
the loss of'Lombardy. London Spec
tator. Ilanntetl ly a Vo'c?.
Joseph Knecht, 73 years old, a vet
eran of the late war, was found lying
dead in a barn. A few days ago ha
purchased 10 cents' worth of arsenic
and said he w?s gonig to kill himself,
bat nobody believed him. In connec
tion with the circumstances of Knccht's
dp-alh it is said that when he was a sol
dier in the war for the union a rebel
shot one of Knccht's comrade. This oc
curred near the rebel's home and
Knecht vowed revenge. Going to the
house with a loaded gun he s!ew the
rebel in the presence of his wife and
family. The woman screamed when she
saw her husband killed, and her voice
had such an unearthly sound that
Knecht said it always haunted him and
he was going to kill himself in order to
get away from the result of his cnieltv.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Conldn't.
Wife (in church) "Jabez, why didn't
you 'put something in the contribution
box?"
Husband "Hush, Jane; I didn't have
anything less than a 2-cent piece about
me."
The Same Thin?.
Hustler Why don't you go to work
and show people there is something in
you? Laziman Wouldn't an ocean
voyage answer the same purpose?
IiQuisville Truth.
VArt fAdSCLL'S TIA.
His fertaae al fatal itM Km trf Mis
Young Van Tassell's fiance was still
in Boston; which may have accounted
for that ydiirig tdin's Presence la Miss
Bessie Travers' little den which opens
directly from the Travers parlor, say
the New York Mail and Express. It
would M difficult to imagine any thing
more itiff tad AwesoiM than the Trav
ers parldf; 6r afiyihing more graceful
and charming than Miss Bessie's Itttto
den, unless',- perchance, it was Mies'
Bessie herserf. Young Van Tassel! has'
of late been in the habit of drowfflBg hi
to see Miss Travers at about tea time.
Just why he does this he himself could
not explain,- but Miss Travers knows,
and there are mdmetits When a queer
little triumphant smite tilekefs over
her lips, and the Very faintest; prettiest
blush imaginable creeps' up from hf
neck, dying her charming face a deli
cate pink.
Last night the young man strolled
into .the little room and found Miss
Bessie sewing.- No brie else WAS there.
Van Tasselt has been wonderinf dt IfltP
how he always happens id nSd his
friend alone when he drops in for tea.
There always used to be a crowd there.
'It's warm, Isn't it?" said Van Tas
seii as he dropped comfortably into an
easy chair, which, fy Mm accident,
had been Placed just where h eould
get the best view dt Miss Bessie, who
was' sewing on some" dainty trifle".-
"Yes," said Miss Bessie, without foYjfc
ing up. "Heard from Kittle lately?"
"Yes," said Van Tassel!, shortly; "I
had a letter this morning. What have
you been doing since I saw you last?"
"I think Kitty is quite the prettiest
girl I know," said Miss Bessie.
"Go you?" said Van Tassell. "When
are yoil f6ihg tft let ma teach you to
fide a blcyclg?"
"Does Kitty ride?'"'
'No," said Van Tassell, ''she does
hot. I say Bess, do you remember
when y6u used to ride on the back ste.i
of my velocipede?''
"Yes," said Miss Tr'aver demurely.
"I wonder if Kitty ever did anything
like that?"
"I wonder," said Van Tassell.
"We used to have pretty good limes,
didn't we, dear boy?" said the girl.
"AwfUlly jolly," said Van Tassell.
Miss Bessie sighed very gently. A
sigh shbuld not be oreriong.
"We are grown up" hdw," she said
gently.
"Will you have tea?" she continued,
putting away her work.
"Tell my fortune in the tea leaves,"
commanded Van Tassell as be put
down his cup.
"If I cad," said the girl. "I don't
know how far I can go."
"Iin very afixious," said Vfld Tassell.
"The future is a sealed book."
"That's the right phrase,"' said the
girl, laughing.
."I see a dark woman," she began, as
she peef'Sfl Ifito the cup. "That's Kitty:
and there Is a blond young man; that's
you; and there's another woman. I
wonder who she can be?"
"I wonder, too," said Van Tassell.
"I I can't tell you any more," con
tinued the girl, "because it is so ab
surd." "Go oh, please." said Van Tassell.
"The young uikn doesn't really care
for the dark girl," said Miss Bessie.
"Now, don't you see how silly it Is?"
Van Tassel said nothing. Sometimes
this is wise.
"And, although he doesn't know it,
the other girl likes him a little. Isn't
it perfectly foolish?" and the young
woman blushed gently.
"Oh, I suppose so," said Van Tassell.
"And and, I guess that's all I can
sec," ended the girl.
"I wonder who that other girl is?"
said Van Tassell.
"I wonder." said the girl.
LITERARV.
Grant Allen, It Is said, Invariably
looks as if he were just recovering
from a severe illness.
William Black, the novel writer, Is
also a portrait painter, an enthusiastic
botanist and an all-round sportsman.
The present owner of Judy, whieh,
next to Punch, is the oldest comic paper
in England, is Miss Gillian Debenham.
who purchased it recently and intends
to make a number of changes and im
provements in it.
Mr. F. G. Kcnyon is editing a collec
tion of Mrs. Browning's correspondence
and will be pleased if anyone having
letters from Mrs. Browning will com
municate with him in care of Smith,
Elder & Co., London.
Mr. Oishi, managing editor of the
leading Japanese newspaper of Tokio,
arrived at San Francisco recently from
Yokohama. He will make a tour of
the world. Mr. Oishi in his youth
spent eight years in the United States.
Miss Eva Blantyre Simpson, the only
surviving daughter of the late Sir
James Simpson, intends to mark the
approaching jubilee of her father's dis
covery of the application of chloroform
for anesthetic purposes by the issue of
his biography.
Stanley J. Weyman, whose "Red
Cockade" has been one of the most
successful of recent novels, has given
up his Intention of taking a long re3t.
and is at work upon a new historical
romance. Weyman Is a very careful
workman aad frequently spends a week
In eoastmeUif aad writing a ckatter.
BULES FOR A CYCLIST
THE THOMPSON STREET CLUB
LISTENS TO A NEW SET.
Cfaceralas; a Uttlo Gao etf fa
fho CosBBsttteo to Decide Dtoawtoa
asi Mm Coaiposod Moashon
Shove Koaroacst'
EM'LENV' said
President Toots, a
be rapped the club
to order, "yo am
ail awar' of de fack
dat dis aut a com
biaashun cidb
f!6kr an' bike mix
ed in a&out equal
qua ntitlcs. fter'
am rules to govern
each, howeber, an'
It won't do to git 'em mixed up. Fur
dis reasOri i hev drawed off and had
printed de rules appiyin to each, De
rules to govern when out otl de bike am
as follows:
"Sit erect; wid eyes to the front an a
fletarmlnad loak on de face.
"Don't attempt to pass between de
hosscs and de dash-ho'4 of a treet-kyar.
"Pay no attention to brickbau, ash
cans, cabbage-heads an' fence rails
thrown arter yo' by de envious an'
jeaelousmlnded populashun.
"Avoid runain' ober pedestrians If
yd' kifl btlt when yo' can't avoid It
pi'ctc Q1H H fat man art' pull de throttle
wide open. A fat pdsson alius acts as
a cushion fur de rebound
"D gineral rule am to keep to de
right, but If 4ar am a house in de way
don't be obstinate.
"When two bikests am about to meet
heaed-on dar am two rules to apply.
Yo' kin either jump off an' go into de
Highest saloon an' take a mint julip
frew & straw or keep right on an'
knock de dddf feller fo'teen feet high
an' smash him all to dUsh
"If yo' meet a cow when fidin' In
de kentry yo' kin turn to de right or
de left or go right ober her, jest as yo"
please, if it happens to be do cow's
brudder 'stead dt d cow herself de
rule am to dismount n' climb a tree
an' wait for him to git tired.
"When yo' look ahead up a hill an'
see a farmer an' bis two sons waiting
fur yo' armed with scythes, co'ncutters
nh' sled stakes do rule don't say 'zactly
what yo' should do. Dis gives yo' a
show to turn off into d woods an' look
for chestnuts.
"One quick, sharp ring ob de bell
means danger to a beer wagon if it
don't git outer yo' way.
"Two rings am a summons fur de
street-kyar to shet off steaem an' cum
to a sudden stop an' let yo' pass In front
of it.
"Three rings meSfls dtft de feller
rrossin' de street wld his hat fltt his
ear an' his feet steppin' high am right
In line wld yo'r wheel an' if he don't
git tip an' hump hlsself he will be in
vited to a surprise pa'tr.
"A continuance ding! ding! ding! of
de bell, accompanied by a wavin' of de
left hand in de air, signifies dat ytf has
got tired of ridin' in de street an' am
gwine to take to de side-walk an dat
It Will be Jest as well fur de enthooal
flstid pdpulashun to hunt fur doah
wdy." the president announced that he
hoped to soon perfct th following im
provements to the bicycle:
An attachment that will lift a man's
cap off his head when he meets a fe
male and replace it again after she has
passed on. It will make no distinction
between homely and good looking
giris afld there will be no color line
about it.
An attachment to cast a nOOSe? over
a dog's head and swing him in behind
the bike. When he has been dragged
100 rods and has made up his mind
that the bike is alive and dangerous
the noose opens and he is allowed to
gd oil suspended sentence.
Afi attachment to hold and operate a
squirt-gUn containing at least one gal
lon of watef. This is for offensive
and defensive operations against the
small boy who wants to shove a
broomstick between the spokes to see
how quick a bike can stop.
An attachment to be fastened to the
front wheel which will go ahead and
look for tacks and pounded glass, pick
up wallets and lost diamond pins and
sound the depths of all mud-holes not
over ten feet deep.
"Gem'len," said President Toots as
he laid a box of poker chips on the ta
ble, "dar am poker an' poker. Dar
am poker wha' a flush beats a straight
an' poker whar' a straight beats a
flush an' robs de widder an' de orphan.
I has played poker whar' three jacks
knocked out a full house and I has
played poker whar' a full house scoop
ed in a $10 pot ober fo' aces. We must
hev sartin rules an' stick to 'em, an'
dem rules will be as follows:
"De value of de hand will be ace
high, one pa'r, two pa'rs, flush, threes,
straight, full-house, fours an' royal
flush.
"De man who stands pat can bluff
de man wid fo' aces if he wants to, but
if he gits busted all to squash dat's his
own lookout.
"Dar will be no limit as to bet3. Dis
will enable a pore but respectable
young man who may hold a royal flush
to rake in a house an' lot an' a hushc!
of jewelry at one swipe.
"All queshuns in dispute to be left
to a committee of three an' should any
member of dat committee to be found
wld three kings up his sleeve or fo'
ares down his boct-lcg excuses won't
go an previous good character won't
count for shucks.' Chicago News.
Traveled oa Ills Face,
"You are dead beat."
At the harsh words the cyclist roused
himself and opened one eye. The po
liceman, bending over him, went en:
"You have been trying to travel on
your face."
The cyclist opened the other eye.
"I have." he admitted. "On my face
and one elbow. But they could not
stand the strain."
And, rising weakly to his feet, be
staggered toward the nearest drug
store, bearing the fragments of his
wheel with him. Wisconsin Sentinel.
Hard oa the Mea.
Every woman who has seen a great
deal of the men has a higher opinion
of peace than she has of love. Atchi
kob Globe.
DR. WOLFE AND OEOROINA.
A Hard Tost for Oae's Gravity roemUar
Accoat aad Fhraarelegy;
In front at us stood a short, stout,
elderly man, an unmistakable Hebrew
in features and complexion, says Black
wood's Magazine. He spoke English -efttfyv
bat with an extremely strong
foreign accent, and his manner and
phraseology were peculiar, in a fash
ion which made it very difficult to
listen to him with the seriousness
which his subject demanded. He en
larged oa his work in Palestine and
Asia Minor generally, which had un
doubtedly been of a most praiseworthy
description, but when he ptocecded to
illustrate the customs of his race by
chanting some of their native songs
in a high-pitched voice it proved very
difficult for me, light-hearted enough ia
those days, to hear him with due calm
and decorum. Even his imitation of the
lamentatidltfl of the Jews at the wailing
place outside the wai'.3 of fallen Jeru
salem, which ought to ha3 been deeply
pathetic, became from his intonation
and style exactly the reverse.
The culminating overthrow of my
gravity came with an anecdote which
he told of an Arab chief who had of
fered him his daughter in marriage
and anxiously pressed the beautiful
bride upon him. "Yes." exclaimed Dr.
Wolfe, stretching out his arms towaid
a quiet, dignified lady who sat on a
sofa near him. "Yes, that chief begged
me to have hist child, with the bnmn
eyes like a gazelle, to wed her and
keep her always; but I said to him:
'No! no! I have my Georgina at home;
I want no more wives. I have my
Georgina in my house already, and that
is enough, cb. quite enough." I must
own that I had to beat a hasty retreat
from the effects of this speech on tho
propriety of demeanor I had been try
ing so bard to maintain.
Woe Cent In Sight.
Baron Rothschild was once caught in
a predicament that many people ex
perience daily, and that Is getting into
A conveyance of some kind, and then
not having the money to pay the fare.
The driver of the omnibus into which
Rothschild entered demanded his fare,
and the Baron, feeling in his pocket,
discovered that he had no change. The
driver was very angry.
"Wfcyt did you get in for, if you
had no money?"
"I an? Baron Rothschild," exclaimed
the great capitalist, "and there is in;:
card."
The driver scornfully tossed the card
away.
"Never heard of you before," said he,
"and don't want to hear of you again.
What I want is your fare."
The banker was in great haste.
"Look here. I've an order for a mill
Ion," he said; "give me the change."
And he proffered a coupon for that
amount.
Tho driver stared and the passen
gers faugh!. Fortunately a friend of
the Baron entered the omnibus at the
moment and, taking in the situation,
immediately paid the fare. The driver,
realizing his mistake, and feeling re
morseful, said to the Baron:
"If you want 10 francs, sir, I don't
mind lending them to you on my own
account." Harper's Round Table.
Tired and Sleepy.
"Speaking of cures for Insomnia,"
said an old soldier, "makes me think
of Our starting out one morning at 7
o'clock, marching twenty miles ami
meeting the enomy at 2 o'clock in the
afternoon and fighting till 6, and then
marching back to where wc started
from, getting there at 2 o'clock in the
morning.
"Some of the men left in camp had
made a fire to cook their coffee by and
had kept It going through the even
ing. It was now a big bed of red coals,
with an occasional flicker of flame go
ing up from the charred end of a half
burned stick. It was a chilly night,
and I thought I'd sit down on a log
that there was alongside the fire 'for a
few minutes and get warm a little be
fore turning in. The next thing I
knew it was 6 o'clock. I bad gone to
sleep the minute I sat down and bad
fallen off the big log without waking
up.
"Now, if, as sometimes happene, 1
find myself inclined to lie awake nights,
I just think of the comfort of my pres
ent bed as compared with that by thi
log, and that is enough."
For a Sons'.
"Magnificent house, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"And he bought it for a song."
"Indeed?"
"Yes, he's the author of 'Papa's Jag
is Three Days Old," you know." De
troit News.
VENEZUELA.
Liberty of worship is guaranteed by
law.
The republic claims an area of 632,807
square miles.
The standing army consists of a little
over 3,000 men.
The constitution is modeled on that
of the United States.
The emancipation of slaves took
place on March 24, 1851.
The national militia consists of all
males between the ages of 18 and 45.
From 1550 until early in this century
the country was under Spanish domina
tion. The coast of Venezuela was the first
part of the American mainland sighted
by Columbus.
The money system of Venezuela is
that of the Latin convention, the franc
being represented by the bolivar.
It was not until 1S45 that the inde
pendence of the republic was recog
nized by Spain in the treaty of Madrid.
Don Guzman Blanco was dictator
from 1870 until February 20, 1873, when
be was elected constitutional president.
In 1810 Venezuela rose against the
Spanish yoke, and in the following
year the independence of the territory
was proclaimed.
The pure white population is less
than 3 per cent. The vast majority of
the people arc negroes, Indians, mu
lattoes and zambes.
Elementary education is well provid
ed for under the law. There are two
universities, nineteen federal colleges
and various other public and privato
Institutions for higher education.
(Uudms - State - Bisk I
BSBftfLiS m aTtaA TaAaafaa
nniiBrtsRiuititfio
i
How fork aant aft
mil t iriiatiny : tioufif
BUYS GOOD NOTES
AKD mSCTOMt
LsAiroKB Gkxjuxd, Prea't,
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Josm STAurncx. Wm. Bccvkh.
COLUMBUS, NEB.
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Oabx. Uiknkk, s. c. gkat,
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STOCKHOLDERS.
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