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VOLUME XXVIL NUMBER 5.
COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA. WEDNESDAY. MAY 13, 1896.
WHOLE NUMBER 1,357.
MurM
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i -
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'OPERATIC PRELUDE.
T WAS S O'CLOCK
and the drug store
next the opera
9W
mJZzJ 1 diar.t with the cos-
VVi (i!slL tumes whose rich-
i j tcsa a ku
parquet- circle type
as was the foyer of
the great hall near
bj. It was the usu
i al before-the-opera
crowd, composed of representatives ol
a class of people who are well-to-do yet
not such strict adherents to the canons
of society as to be prohibited from at
tending to a few trifling matters that
had been put off till the last minute.
Ladies under the protection of their
escorts braced themselves for the com
ing performance with various soft
drin&s that we're served rapidly by the
skillful attendants; ladies who had
tucked their safety under the shadow
of their own wins and had discarded
masculine supervision altogether, hag
gled ever the price of boxes of bon
bons and scowled at the clerk who in
sisted upon receiving the regulation
price for all such dainties, and ladies
whose escorts were yet to appear
leaned wearily against the heavy show
cases and impatiently watched the av
enue entrance through which they were
every moment expecting the other half
of the combine to put in an appearance.
The latter class was not without a
plentiful sprinkling of men. The one
who of all the waiting, pushing, pass
ing crowd was first to arrive was a
gentleman. He came in at 7:30 and
took up his station at the corner of the
cigar stand near the door, a position
from which he could get a fair view of
every newcomer, and there he stood, a
good-looking, dark-mustached, fashionably-attired
monument of patience,
till tbe minute-hand on the clock op
posite, pointed to S o'clock. Then he
shifted- his position a little. At five
minutes past S he shifted again, At
ten minutes past S he got desperate,
and leaving the counter, which for the
last forty minutes had served for a
pedestal for his weariness., he cut a
wide swath through the then decreas
ing crowd and made his way toward
the far end of the store.
There were but five ladles left in the
publir trysting place at that time. One
was middlp-aced and had two little
girls with her; throe of them were ac
companied by gentlemen; the only one
for whom he could possibly be looking
was the tall blonde in the rear of the
room. He stopped and studied her fur-
tt.nl -..: !, JJ 1 r-i
"tij u.iiii ueiore uuuieotiUn ut. suu
was vPry pretty. Her hair was that
rich, beautiful brown that shines in the I
light; her eyes were larg, long-lashed I
and white-lidded, and her complexion
was touched with that exquisite tint
that reaches its rarest perfection when
brought in contrast ivith somber col
ors. The lady undoubtedly realized the
possibilities of her face and the rich
black of her costume was relieved only
by the ermine lining of her wrap.
The gentleman hesitated a moment.
"She doesn't tally exactly with the
description given." he dtcided. com
paring the pretty picture before him
with a photograph which he evidently
carried in a convenient pocket in his
mind. "The fact is. she is decidedly
prettier, but perhaps a desire to avoid
all show of egotism prompted her to
go a little slow on the enumeration of
her many charms. A woman as good
Iookinc as she is can atferd to speak j
faintly in her own praie. It must be
tfJ..nrET
JaasaE-.. i w--'
7m
she. I'll risk it, anyway." j LUt; uru5 blore " u'gnt:
A relieved look passed over th ladv's I "Miss Sutton." he answered, care
face and she aro?e as he came nearer ! lf,Sl" "Katherine Sutton. Why, what
. "Pardon me." he said, "but I am j ma(ie Jrou think of her?"
looking for a lady I have never seen. "0h- nolhinS- I learn hy the morn-
. Have I made a mistake, or is this Miss '
Gilbert?"
A percpptible shade of
disappoint- !
'ment Sashed in her blue eyes
nd she
i
IS THIS MISS GILBERT?
hesitated an Instant. She glanced a:
the clock. It was S 3.5. and the opera
had already commenced,
"Yes" she replied, quickly, "and
you?"
He put his own construction on her
hesitancy, and smiled in his own con
ceit. "Robert Lang, of course." he re
turned. "What a fcol I was to let you
wait here from 7:35. the- time when you
came in. until now. But I was fearful
. of making a mistake. You are so much
. prettier than you gave me any idea I
of."
"You are very kind." she laughed, i
"but let's hurry. The music is now j
well under way. i
The drug-store doer closed heavily
' behind them and the clerks settled
down to a brief season of comparative
nnipr TTnlf an hour Tiokrd itvlf win.
"notonously away and the clock above j
A man who looked enough like the
puzzled hero of the early part of the
evening to be his twin brother hurried
across the avenue with a reckless dis
regard of murderous cabs and cable
cars and rushed Into the universal
club-room. The only people present
were the attendants and two gentle
men buying cigars. It was obvious
that the late arrival was on the look
out for none of these, tor he sat down
gingerly on a seat near the doer and
glared around with unconcealed dis
gust. He waited five minutes, then as
no one else came who appeared to be
more pleasing to his fancy he pulled
his collar tightly around his ears and
started out. He had stepped one foot
on the sidewalk and was still holding
the knob of the half-open deer, when
he .noticed a woman who turned the
"nearest corner and came rapidly to
ward him. She brushed past him and
went into the drug store. Involuntar
ily he turned and went, in after her.
She had brown hair, blue eyes and a
"p" '-m
good complexion; moreover, she was
dressed in black and wore a wrap with
ermine lining.
The anxious, searching glance with
which she regarded the occupants of
the room finally rested on him and she
started back with a little cry of alarnl
He laid his hand on her arm and led
her to a seat hear the side entrance.
"Ndw,' he said, sitting down beside
her, "what are you doing here?"
"t came to meet some one, she fal
tered, meekly, "and he lsh't here.
What are you doing?'
"I came here to meet seme one, too,"
he retorted, sharply, "and she Isn't
here, either.
"I'm late," she hazarded, for want of
something better to ayi
"Yes," he returned, "so am L"
They sat there for a few moments,
each maintaining an obdurate silence.
Presently one neatly gloved hand stole 1
out from under her ermine-lined wrap
and rested lightly against h3 sleeve.
"Frank she said, twisting herself
around so he could get a half-view of
her pretty face, ''I've been awfully fool
ish, and I want to confess." There were
tears in her eyes, but they did not lead
him to the stool of repentance. "After
we had our quarrel last week and de
cided to separate. I was so miserable
I can't tell you how miserable. You will
have to try to imagine. I have tried to
bear it as though It were realiy a mat
ter of small import, and to keep people
from learning just how much I have
grieved I have avoided them as much
as possible. It sets me wild to hear
them jest and make merry when my
heart Is literally breaking. In Sunday's
paper I read the advertisement of a'
young man, a stranger in the city, who
wanted some one to accompany him to
the opera two evenings this week. I
answered and we made an engagement
to meet here to-nizht at 7:30. I couldn't ,
get away from home on time and I eup-
pose he has left long agd I shodld not
have come at all, Frank, but, judging
by the description he gave of himself,
I concluded he must look like you. His
name is Robert Lang. Oh, Frank. I
w as so foolish and reckless. Pray for
give me."
The tears brimmed over then and
formed a little rivulet down either
cheek. The fingers on his coat sleeve
perceptibly tightened their grip and he
laid his own right hand protectingly
over them.
"I thought there must be something
like that in the wind." he said. "The
fact of the matter is, Nellie, I was on
just such a chase myself. A lady, also
a stranger in the city, advertised in
Sunday's paper for an escort for one
evening this week, and I offered to lend
. , , i
., - , , . '
mgh. at ';3 ? e Ume and place of I
meeting. I couldn't get here any earl
ier. Upon my word, I don't think I
should have come at all, only I was
convinced she must look like you, and
if I couldn't have the original I thought
I would try to content myself with a
passable substitute. Her name is Kath
erine Sutton. I wonder what became
of her?"
"Why should you carer was the
pouting comment, "when you have
me?"
"That's so," he replied, "whv
should I?"
Six months later Mis. Frank Ken
nan looked up from the morning pa
per, choice paragraphs from which she
was sandwiching into her nimble mind
between the bites of buttered toast,
and looked at her husband curiously.
"Frank," she asked, "what was the
name of the lady you were to meet at
m? PaPer tnac a marriage license has
! been issued to Robert Lang and Kath-
erme Sutton, that's all. You know.
ljns was uie name oi tne gentleman I
should have seen. I was just wonder-
: ing if they didn't console themselves
i with each other and go to the opera to
j gether. It's strange we never thought
i of that before. Such a thing is possi
ble, you know."
"Oh. yes," he said, "it's possible."
He Knew TVh-t He Wimtetl.
I had an interesting experience the
other day in one of the cut-rate drug
stores. There was a rush of budding
pharmacists to wait upon me.
"I want a bottle of Dr. g cure.
How much is it?"
"Eighty-three cents." was the reply,
"but we have one of our own make
which is just as good "
"But I don't want that,"
"If you don't get cured after taking
ours bring back the bottle "
"I insist I don't want it,"
"And get your money, although you
may have taken all the medicine. We
guarantee ours, and can't the other."
The fellow kept on talking, and I
don't know but what he is still at it. for
I didn't wait to see him stop, neither did
I buy what I wanted, after all I went
to a neighboring store and purchased
what I thought I desired, and not
something "just as good" or "better"
than what I purchased. There is some
satisfaction in knowing what you want
and getting it without the interference
cf a drug clerk. Boston Post,
Qualified.
Alkali Ike "So old Bill Jaggett is
dead? Wall, he could shore drink a
powerful sight of whisky. But -then, he
a Prett-V fair of felIcr- ter
Cactus Jack "Wonder if his brother-in-law
ever got well from the effects of
the fight him an Bill had time Bill
mighty nigh cut him to shoestrings.
But, then. Bill was a pretty tollable sort
of cuss."
Poker Jim "Beat me outer over $190
clean steaL d him! But. then. I
s'pose I ort to say he was a middlin de
cent sort of feller now that he's dead!"
Three-fingered Babcock "They
never exactly proved that thar horse
stealin' on him, did they time he nar
rowly escaped bein' lynched? Wal, he
was a sort of clever feller, after alL"
Hank Bitter Helped tar-an'-feather
him once myself; but he was a pretty
fair sort of feller if you are absolutely
certain he is dead." Exchange.
A wealthy Englishman living in
Wiesbaden has tendered to the city a
donation of 20,000 marks, with a pro
vision to apply the interest to the as
sistance of dramatic authors for the
first performance of their works.
A KANSAS TOWN FfiUI).
HOWTHE POMEROYS DEFEATED
T.'E M'CILLS.
Mo viae Fcst-ce for Caase The
Government I'nwlttlaslr Aided the
Poaiaroja to Defeat Their Historic
ec - -
'GlLL- CITY; the
county seat ol
Gresham County,
Kansas, is a very
small place, but
large enough to
tontain a feud
that for deep hate
and wild fury
passes anythi n g
ever heard of in
the wilds of Kch
tucky. The feud divides the town into
twd factions that relent not for day
or for night. Whenever a stranger
comes to town he is immediately en
listed on the one side or the other, and
must stand by the faction he has
chosen, says a recent dispatch to the
New York World.
The rival factions center each about
a leader who is rich. On the one side
is Pomeroy; on the other McGill. The
principal street of the town is the line
between the two: No Pomeroyite ven
tures into the territory of the Mc
Gillites, and no McGillite ever erosses
over into the Pomeroy regions. This
maib street is the frequent battle
ground, and many a fray has raged
there, with the town officers divided be-
tween the two contending narties.
The bitterest pill the Pomeroy fac-
tion has had to swallow has been the
presence of the postoffice on the McGill
side of the main street It was ho
j small thing, when you come to think of
it. tnat every time a Fomeroy man
wished to get his mail he had to cross
over the edge of the McGill territories
and receive a favor of the McGillites,
his hated enemies. This was lately
aggravated by the fact that the Post-
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POMEROY FACTION STEALS THE POSTOFFICE.
master, O. B. Kirkly, was a Pomeroy
man. All day long he had to breathe
the McGill atmosphere. Only a strong
sense of duty kept him from resigning.
Otherwise the salary would have been
no inducement whatever. He endured
this as long as he could, and then began
to plot to have the postoffice changed
to the Pomeroy side of the street.
He secretly negotiated with the
United States government, and by j
working very stealthily got permision
t0 move the office without anr one fiad-
mg out wnat ne was uomg. a weeK ago
yesterday morning, while the McGillites
slept unguarded, a posse of fifty Pom
eroyites gathered in the shadows of the
buildings on the Pomeroy side of the
street. At the signal they swept down
upon the postoffice, and. with ropes and
rollers, got it across the way. When
the first McGillite come forth in the
morning he saw the postofiice seated
across the way, looking as calm and
contented as If the Pomeroy side of the
street had always been Its home.
An hour later the McGillites marched
across the street, armed and prepared
to bring the postoffice back. On its
front door was an official-looking docu
ment. The McGillites read the govern
ment order, authorizing the change.
They saw that they were beaten. The
Pomeroy faction gathered and fell to
jeering; "Why don't you move it back?"
But the McGillites dared not, because
they feared to enlist Uncle Sam on the
Pomeroy side. So they gnashed their
teeth and melted away. There have
been several small riots in the main
street since the moving of the post
ofiice. but no serious trouble, as trouble
goes in Hill City.
All the Letter in the Alphabet,
.Some ingenius trifier has discovered
that there is one verse in the Bible
which contains all the letters in the al
phabet: "And L even I. Artaxerxes,
the King, do make a decree, to all the
treasurers which are beyond the river,
that, whatsoever Ezra, the priest, the
scribe of the law of God of Heaven.shall
require of you, it shall be done speed
ily." (Ezra viL, 21). Of course it will
be seen that J is left out; but then J and
I were originally the same letter. It
will further be seen that the letters are
duplicated and reduplicated.
Bailrlinc mnct Loan.
It is stated by one who has investi
gated the subject that the average
yearly expenses of a co-operative build
ing and loan association of Philadel
phia is $350. In most cases no salaries
are paid except to the secretary, and h
receives about $150 per annum. There
are over 400 associations in Philadel
phia. Mieht Work.
"It is easy to attract the masses with
free food and coffee," said the mission
ary worker, "but the attracting of the
ycung men of the er better classss
is a problem of much mere depth."
"Try free skirt dances and cigar
ettes," suggested the man who is noth
ing if not practical.
When sound can go but in only one
direction it travels far. An old well
at Cerisbrook castle. Me of Wight, is
1S2 feet deep. On a still day a pin can
be heard to strike the water.
DOWN RIVER ON A STURGEON.
Exciting; KiJe Tata tfc. t"Un Wm
eke
ea a Sandbar.
Among the many incidents of the
olden time that Interest us now. Or. J.
Russell Hawkins tells us of one that
happened in James riter, at the falls of
Richmond, in the year 1779, sayi tfi
Richmond Religious Herald. He as
sures us that many of the leading citi
zen fef Richmond at that time were
eye-witnesses to the fact, and that h
had it straight from them.-
It was concerning Martin Hawkins;
an uncle of the doctor. This uncle
was a great hunter and fisherman. In
those days Jamea rivr waa well stocked
with shad. . In May they came up from
the sea. and hundreds of people, fond of
the pport, would assemble on the rocks
in midstream along the falls, and with
dip-net? would supply themselves with
all they wanted, dii? hero was at hi3
post watching-for a-catch, when along
came an immense sturgeon, and stopped
to rub his sides against the rock, ac
cording to the habit of sturgeons, when
Mr. Hawkins concluded that if he could
only get his hands into the gills of the
monster he might succeed in landing
him. Accordingly he crept to the side
of the rock, stooped over, and began
rubbing the sides of the fish near the
tall, and proceeded quietly toward the
head, until at last the gills were
reached. With a sudden thrust the
hands were sent home to the very inner
jaws of the fish, when it gave a lurch
that jerked the fisherman from the
rock. He fell astride the fish's back,
but his hands were held as in a vise.
For a moment all was surprise and in-
j terest, then both fish and rider sank in
, the deep, roaring waters of the flood,
The spectators were aghast with fright,
They thought their friend was lost.
But, after a few moments, fish and fish , d the judge without a much as a
erman came to the surface about 100 pin-feather oh it
yards down the river, and remained at The Greenport champidri fared even
the surface long enough to breathe, then worse, and after a ridiculously one
sank again. A moment later they rose i sided matnh r.,,ar. nrraA ii, ,,,.
again, and then again and again, as the
waters bore them away. They passed
under Mayo's bridge, half a mile from
the starting point.
People along the shore became ex
cited and gave chase as best they could.
In the meantime the fish was being
exhausted and the rider had discovered
it and began to try to steer for a sand
bar, then a little way below them; This
he reached successfully. And here.
after a struggle, he dragged his trophy
ashore on the Chesterfield side of the i
rive
ver. or on the side opposite from the 1
lint of starting. Richmond was then
point
a small tnxn nnrf in . llrr'A fimo thi
strange adventure was known to everv I
inhabitant. An ovation followed. The !
fish, which measured ten fPPr rrnn !
weighed 200 pounds, was served up in a
manner to suit every taste, and the
night that followed this episode was
spent in high glee, and the distin
guished adventurer was ever afterward
known as Martin Hawkins, the stur
geon rider. This gentleman died in his
73d year at the residence of a friend.
Daniel Burton, about ten miles west of
Richmond.
Marrh-e bj Wholesale.
A wholesale marriage ceremony was
performed in Odd Fellows hall at Kock
essin. a few miles from Wilmington,
Del., the other afternoon. Eight couples
of colored people were married simul
taneously by the Rev. William Jason,
president of the State College for Col
ored Students. The ceremony was wit
nessed by more than 300 people. Ex
plaining the circumstances which
brought the about wedding Mr. Jason I
,;.,- .,, -.,. X. - r
7i&iu. wwi uiuk auu mai nuU X I
went among these people and tried to
bring them to God they were a bad lot.
At first I did not get much encourage
ment, but after I had labored with them
for several months I saw that even the
hardest ones were touched. In nearly
every instance where a man and woman
were living together no marriage cere
mony had teen performed between
them. I told them that It was wrong
and sinful; that It was a violation of
the civil law and an offense against di
vine law. That's why I performed this
wholesale marriage. At first they ob
jected: but when one couple who had
been living together for four years con
sented to let me marry them the others
gave in. and I hope in time that all the
rest will follow in their footsteps."
Baltimore American.
Troth Uur:.
St. Petersburg is excited over the
j horsewhipping of Prince Mestchersky.
director of the Grashdanm. by two sons
of an official who felt insulted by an ar
ticle in the newspaper. The young men
say they whipped the prince, but he
cays that he turned them out of his
house without being struck.
Physical Strength.
Physical strength is highly rated in
Switzerland. In several cantons the
custom still prevails of holding wrest
ling matches. The champions taking
-part in these athletic sports belong to
the most diverse ranks in the social
scale.
A New York judge rules that hugging
and kissing a girl against her will is a.
species of assault taxable by a fine of
$10. A sort of an X raid, as it were I
Picked in s seconds.
LONG
ISLAND'S CHAHPJdN
FOWL PtUCKER.
faataera Fly I4k. SawflakM rat it
gaifaiawa 8 Qalekly That It la AI-
meats.
ERE IS AN Ac
count of the feats
f Prank W. Gur
ner, of' Eatport, U
t, who ciaims the"
title of "Champion
Chicken-Picker of
the World." He is
willing to bet $5,
66 that fa has a
right to tha title
and his record U
SBe.Calckea picked eleam im It. sec
onds. This extraordinary performance
Gurner has repeatedly accomplished,
and in al! the contests In which be has
taken pari has distanced his eonipetH
tors to such an extent that It was al
most painful to witness their puny ef
forts. Some time ago Gurner thought he
had a rival worthy of his metal in John
Daly, of Fire Island, who had a great
reputation an an expert in this line.
A frkndijf esdtest was proposed. Daly
in an evii moment accented.
The ehiSkeni wef produced and
Daly wen to work. GurheF did not
move a hand, but watched his opponent.
When the latter was half through
Gurner doused his fowl in scalding
water, tossed it in the air. rubbed it
i u.cr uis own peculiar metnou ana De-
fore the astounded Daly knew what
had happened the chicken was handed
chickens to the Greenporter's one, but
even with this handicap the offer wa3
refused:
In the presence 6f S Sunday World
reporter last week Gurner equalled his
record time of five seconds, and then
offered to pick one "slowly" in twelve
seconds, to show how it was done.
This is what happened: Gurner
plunged the" fowi into scalding water,
seized it and threw it intd the air",
caught it as it came down with one'
hand around each wing. With light-
. ning-Iike rapidity the right hand then
I shot out, carrying away all the feath-
ers of the wing on that side. The same
motion on the opposite side carried
away the feathers on that wiiig.
j the chicken was then laid on Jur-
, ner's right leg, and Gurner, both
( hands moving like piano keys operated
by a rapid player, literally struck off
!' the feathers on the upper side. It was
immediately tcssed over to his left leg
and similar treatment followed on its
otner side. The chicken was then
placed between the operator's legs and
a clawing movement of the hands fol
lowed. When this ceased the ehieken
was absolutely picked clean.
Some Modern "Big ThlnRS."
One of the largest checks ever drwn
in this country was IlC.OOOiOOO, by
President Roberts, of the Pennsylvania
Railroad, in payment of 200,000 shares
of P. W. & B. R. R. stock.
The English Royal Naval architect
says that a "perfect" modern man-of-war
should weigh hot iess than 23,000
tons, and cost at least 2,000,000 Of
$10,000,000:
The pavement in front of the Wililanl
H. Vanderbiit residence in New York
city cost over $40,000. The single stone
" tuaL uer ww. me single stone
lyms front the largest
h.nown paving stone, ana cost, transpor-
"uon aM au- a-oyu-
A redvrood Plank exhibited at the
Kansas City exposition was 16 feet
long. 7 feet 9 inches wide and 5 inches
thick.
The largest bronze casting ever made !
in America is the buffalo's head which '
hangs at the eastern entrance of the t
Union Pacific bridge between Omaha
and Council Bluffs. l
The largest statue in the United '
States is Bartholdl's "Liberty Enlight- ''
ening the World," which stands on '
Bedlce Island. New York harbor. The ,
statue alone, without base or pedestal, ;
weighs -WO.OOCTpounds. 1
The highest building in the world. ,
monuments and towers not considered. I
is the Cologne Cathedral. The height i
of this building from the pavement to j
the copper tip on the spire is 511 feet.
The great hammer at the Woolwich
Gun Works, WooIwich.England, weighs
forty ton3. and its drop is a sheer fail
of forty-four feet three inches.
Tho r fWW),Tirrfi-nriTiriT. nnmnlnff
i1u-.i-.-j -,i
eme in the mines at Freidensville. Pa..
raises 17,500 gallons of water at "ach
revolution of its gigantic fly-wheeL
St. Louis Republic
For A Linen Shower.
She Is, indeed, a fortunate young
woman whose friends give her the
benefit of a linen shower at her be-
trothaL A linen shower will go further
to eiv hpr fcesntifnl things fnr fieri
table than any other wav devised, and . tor-communities. There is a large con
the embroideries will be doublv charm- samPtiojl oi li(Iao for medicinal ?ur
ing as the gifts, perhaps the 'work, of! Pes An exammauon of the drug
thoughtful friends. But sometimes the ! ?.orf returns of 7opek foJaauar?
fr?r,-e -, ,- f ;,,-, ,.., ,u,L. discloses a prevalence of colds, over
-..n.j .uu ifuuib j. iu-.io auu luiuxi
that one can have enougenter pieces
or doilies or bureau scari. "Tidies
are out of fashion. What gift in linen
can be made that will be at once novel
and pretty? There is no lack of things.
Picture frames, pin trays, pin cushions,
laundry bags, night-dress- cases, orna
mental towels for looks, not for use:
sachets, sofa cushions these are a few
suggestions. The necessary linens for
table, bed and toilet are furnished, it is
to be presumed in the trousseau. What
the linen shower provides is only the
luxuries. Everything, therefore, must
1 be extremely fine and daintily worked.
else the purpose of the gathering and
gift presentation is defeated. New
York Herald.
Women im Polities.
Victoria doesn't rule England. It is
the freest land on the face of the earth
that Is, for Englishmen. And why
is this so? Simply because the dear,
good old lady doesn't interfere in poli
tics. And let me say that it might be
better for this country if the ladies
did not interfere in politics. Rev. H.
H. ConwelL
A LEAP YEAR PROPOSAL,
Wmh Life it a bcatstifal thing.
XaB-TeSf irtetd; especially fci
ParisV
Womai What's that?
Man El1 m. I said: Tea, especial
ly in pairs.
Woman Oh, Henry! Tl U so ab
rupt! But I I am willing.
MiftVI was about to say that espe
cially Impartial observation has justi
fied me in agreeing with you, to
live
Woman Oh. Henry, You surprise me
sd. but 1 I accept.
Maa Yes, it is best to accept the
world as it exists. 1 was saying to live
nobly is a beautiful thing. By the way,
what if Uncle Sam should annex Caba?
Woman Oh, Henry! How neta
jihork!
kamltetaphoric? .
Wesaal-Cal1ta4E ysarsclf TJade Saat
and me
Man I believe the annexation would
be disastrous to all concerned."
Woman Oh!
MaO-But the whole political situa
tion in our cdontry is bad at present.
These domestic broils will ruin us.
Woman Bat, Henry, we haven't
quarreled.
Man Eh? Waat's that?
Woman I said we" bada't quarreled.
You said
Man I said nothing about ourselves.
f regret that I have not succeeded in
making you tfflderstaad
Wfimari fiat yon kae, you have, in
deed. 1 4h't know what to say to
you, you have startled sae so! But. of
course, if you insist, f Suppose 1 shall
have to give way and say yea. Y.u
are so impetubtt?, so hasty!
Man On the contrary. I am very
slow. I even fall to appreciate your
Woman Nonsense, Henry. All men
Saj they fall to appreciate us. For
fny part, compared with you, I know
I am not worth anything.
Man What's that?
Woman I say I am really flat worth
anything.
Man What of that? You have a
be'antlfn! home here, and I am sure
your father woti't begrudge
Woman f ara sure he will not. I
wish you would ask him right away
Man Ask him? Ask him trhat?
Woman What you did mc.
ManGood heavens! Miss Durham,
what was that?
Woman If ydt! eflu'd have me for
your own little wifey-lfev-
Man I never
Woman Certainly not! I know ybu
never did. AH the men say they never
proposed to any other girl. And, Hen
ry, dear Henry, papa's in the next
roo'ni. Ml tell him you wish to see him.
You, darling, jffful
Man Oh, Lord! New" York Herald.
HE COULD FIGHT.
One Blow Seeared a 3trltMt for the
rale. Thin Tonne; Xjd.
In the mountains of the south the
schools are still maintained upon the
subscription plan'. A traveling man
just returned from that section gave
the following account of an examina
tion of an applicant for a school:
"I was stopping at a cabin all night."
said he. "and a pale, slender young man
came during tbe evening to talk with
my host"
"I am thinking of starting a school
here," he said, "and I wanted to see if
you would subscribe."
'Kin yo read?"
'Yes."
"Kin yo' write?"
"Certainly,"
"Kin ye' figger?'!
"Of course."
"Air yo married?"
"NO;"
"Wall, we did want a married man
nex' time. The las' three teachers has
run o11 wltn S"s an tnar a,n c enun
gals in this hyar neighborhood now.
But X dm,t 8'Pse none of 'em wou!d
want a Iean feIler like yo' l don,t
reckon yo' not beln married '11 make
QUch difference. Couldn't expect slch a
POlr feIIer ter be married Then thar's
ce thinS- Me and BUI SimPkins an
Alf Toney is all gwlne ter school an
Iarn ter read an' wrlte X done Iicked
Bil lan' he done licked Alf so l reckon
the onlT one ter settle with ls me We
ain't gwine to 'bey no man we kin lick.
Kin 0' font'"
"l 8tudied boxing." said the stranger,
'Don't know nothin' 'bout thet. Does
nakin boxes make muscle?"
I "Try one ana see, was tne cooi re
! joinder.
The big mountaineer hit at the little
man, and when he regained conscious
ness had his head In the wood box and
his feet sticking up in the air.
Looking about him with a dazed ex
pression, he said:
"Young feller, shake. I'll go with yo
some day an' well git thet school. An
say, young feller, set me ter work on
them boxes.
Star.
will yo'?"--Washington
Whisky for 5or Heel.
Drug store business in Kansas is
much the same as in other prohibi-
. Olie-Uaii UL LUC J1LUUU..1L3 VU
. .. . A. , . .,
which
liquor was sold being for
the disease
of cold." The drug store records show
that liquor is furnished for such flimsy
reasons as "the disease of old 3gtr."
the "loss of an eye." for "use in store,"
and for "cramp in the heel."
Calatrntioaal.
In an obituary notice printed in a
Kansas City paper of the late deputy
warden of the Missouri state peniten
tiary, who had held the office more than
forty years, appears the undoubtedly
well-intentioned statement that "Prob
ably no man in Missouri enjoys a wider
acquaintance among the public men
over the entire state."
Corractlao, ff(
The Indiana youth who nearly
spoiled the celebration of his 107th
birthday anniversary by breaking his
arm in a game of baseball should be
Interviewed in the woodshed by his
father.
At the present moment oat of the I
seventy-one members of the Irish na j
1 tionalist party ten are Protestants. I
. POPULAR SCIENCE.
Tfce air presaura em a person of ordi
aary Asa la sixteen aad a half tons.
The aighaat mountain in the world is
Meaat Ererest, In the Himalayas
twenty-mine thousand feet, or five and
tsvte-faartka miles.
In tha normal state a dog executes
tventjr r thirty respiratory movements
a. minute', iat while he is excited cv
running in the at of the sun this in
creases to 300 or 350".
It has lately been established that the
temperature of the carbon ia the elec
tric arc is about 7.500 degree F-. or
about forty times the differeuce of tem
peratttra between the boiling an4 freez
ing water.
The camel's foot is a soft cushion, pe
culiarly well adapted to the stones and
gravel over which it is constantly walk
ing. During a single journey through
the Sahara horses have worn out three
acts as? steam,, wail the camel's feet are
not even more. --""
The frog deposits its eggs in shallow
water, where the warmth of the sun
promotes speedy hatching. The com
mon snake often selects a bed of decom
posing vegetable matter. The croco
dile and the clumsy sea tortoise go
ashore to lay their eggs.
When the common earth worm is cut
In two to the tall there grows a head
and to the head there grows a tail, and
two animals are formed. As the wound
heals a small white button is formed,
which afterward develops into rings
and a perfect extremity.
The duration of sunshine in the var
ious countries of Europe was recently
discussed at a scientific meeting in Ber
lin. It was shown that Spain stands
at the head of the list, having on an
average 3.000 hours of sunshine pr
year, while Italy has 2.30O hours. Ger
many 1,700 hours and England 1.100
hours. Madrid has almose three times
as much sunshine as London.
INDIGESTION.
Tfce Ommk Will Create the Symptoms of
Heart Dltease. Khlaey Disease. Etr.
From tbe Standard-Union. Brooklyn.
X. T.
Few women have had more mis
erable existence and lived to tell the
tale than Mrs. Anna L. Smith of 311
Pulaski Avenue. Brooklyn. With all
the comforts that money affords, with
all the happine that many loving
friends can give, the Joy of Mrs.
Smith's life was blasted for years by
the terrible ravage of sickness. The
story la most interesting as told to a
reporter:
"I was an invalid for year?, mifferinff
first with one complaint and then with
another. The thing which caused me
the most discomfort end made me of
fensive to m family wap the worst
case of Indigestion Imaginable. I had
the best physician we could find, and
occasionally his prescriptions relieved
me temporarily. But the pains and
misery would all soon return asraln.
I became desperate, and started in to
try remedies of which I read. Amonsr
them wers the Pink Pills. I took the
pills and fclljwed out the direc
tions to the letter, and before
many days I began to fel like a differ
ent woman. For six weeks I tcok the
pills regularly, and I can truthfully
add after that I was as well any one
In the family. This change for the bet
ter In my condition has caused ny
relatives and friends to take th-? pills.
We buy them from the druff tore of
John Duryea, at the corner of DeKalb
and Sumner Avenues.
"I assure, you it was Impossible for
me to oversea ray household for three
years. Now I visit my kitchen every
day. do my own marketing and shop
ping; In a word. look after everyth.'ng'
connected with my home and family.
"Oh. yes. 1 etill keep takinsr ih pills.
I take one daily after dinner. Preven
tion, you know, is better and cheaper
than cure. I verily believe one half
of the women Who are suffering from
the Ills which our sex are hir to would
be up and well if they cu!d ba In
duced to give the Pink Pilfc a fair trial.
I certainly recommend them heartily
and and feel grateful to the physician
who put them on the market."
Mrs. Smith is a woman of som?
means and standing in the communlty
and. therefore, her testimony will b
accepted without question by all
thoughtful people.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain all
the elements necessary to-give new life
and richness to the blood and restore
shattered nerves. They may be had
of all druggists or direct by mall from
the Dr. Williams Med. Co., Schenecta
dy, X. Y.. at 50 cents per box. or six
boxes for C50.
Tne Kingdom of Women.
One would haddly think of iroin- to
the country of the Czar to find an ex
ample of Women's Rights, but there is
a place in Russia, Smolensk by name,
where women are said to govern every
thing. This is not because they do so
better than men. but because the town
is so dead that in order to earn a living
all the men are compelled to go way.
thus leaving matters entirely in charge
of the women. Plainly, the ideal and
complete kingdom of women Ls a
place where no men can get a liveli
hood. "ew InrectEons.
Inventors have known for some time
past that possibly the best paying in
vention ever patented was the pneu
matic tire for bicyeles, bat thev were
hardly prepared to receive the report
just made public, that a syndicate of
English capitalists had bought the
pnecmatie patent tire business for
Great liritian, paying 5I5,0CO.C0O for a
group of American inventions. Three
improvements which may cause the
syndicate some trouble, were patented
this week; a Brooklyn inventor receiv
ed a patent for a tire comprising a llex
ible east.ng filled with compressed felt:
a Scotchman received a L. . patent
for a hollow, elastic, air-tilled" hub:
while an Omaha inventor has just been
allowed a patent for a compensating
buffer tire, which has been tested and
found to work admirably Sues fc Co.,
Patent Solicitors, lice I'cildinz. Omaha.
Nebr.. will give free any information
relating to patents.
The editorial pages of the Review of
Reviews for May are especially strong"
in their treatment of current foreign
affairs and international topics. The
Cuban war and its relations to Spanish
politics, the boundary difficulties be
tween Brazil and French Guiana, other
South American Matters, the present
status of Canadian politics. American
policy toward Turkey, the Soudan ex
position. England's position among the
Powers with reference to Egypt, the
British alliance with Italy, Russian in
terest in Abyssinia, the rising in
Matabeleland. and the BadaDest Ex
position, are subjects which fail within
the month's survey and which are in
telligently discussed in the Review's
department of 'The Progress of the
World.
Putting a crown on the bead, puts noth
ing kingly in the heart.
The people who talk the most, "Jo not
alwavs sav the most.
So man stands a.'one when ha ia right.
(Hurims - State - Bask!
fib: Ins a fell EdUt
BUYS GOOD NOTES
OmCKK3 A3B DTKPXT033X
Lbawdex Gerkakp, Presft,
B. H. Hrtssr, Vice Prest,
H. Bbxggzs, Cashier.
Jo ox Statjffeb. Wjl Bucher.
L
COLUMBUS, NEB.,
-HAS AN-
Aittorizt. Capital if - $500,000
Pai. ii Capital, - 90,000
OFFICCKS.
C.B.SH&.DOX. Pres't.
H. P. II. OEHLRIcn. Vice Pres.
DANIEL SCTl RAM. Cahler.
FttAN'K EOUEI. Aia'tCashrer
DIRECTORS.
f. TI. SfTELDO.V, IT. 1. IT Or.HLBICH.
J.s Welch. W. a. McAllisteh,
Cam. Ruxke, S. C Ghat.
FltA.MC ROKEK.
STOCKHOLDERS.
Gerhard Loseke. J. Henkt Wckixma.
Clark Gray.
IlE-XRr LOSEKE.
Daxif.i. scuram.
A. F. Ii. Oehlhicu
Retiecca Becker,
Geo. w. Galley.
J. I. Becker Estate,
11. 1L Wlxslow.
Ti-TT deposit; lajterest allowe oa tin
teposlts: buy and sell exchange on United
States and EuroDe. and bur and sell avail-
j able securities. H e shall be pleased to re
ceive jour uiisi-es. no wucit jourpac
roaage. Columbus Journal!
A weekly newspaper de
oted the best interests of
COLUMBUS
THE COUNTY OF PUTTE,
The State ot NeDraska
THE UNITED STATES
AID THE REST OF MANKIND
The unit of
witn
ia
$1.50 A YEAR.
XV PAID TV ABYA3TCK.
Bat onr IlaUt of aaafalnesa
hi not prescribed by dollars
aad cents. Sampl coplea
sent free to any address.
HENRY GASS,
TJNDERTAKEE !
Cvffins : aid : Metallic : Cases !
"Repairing of all kinds of Upfial
tUry Goods.
Ut -C0LTJsBrS.5ZBEASKA-
GoiumDus Journal
a TSXTARTD TO munsH ASTTHISO
KZQCIRED OF A
PRINTING OFFICE.
COUNTRY.
fala, Of--. HWTmam ma ml
mif t iriAaHTiy : uoxiift
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