Nebraska Newspapers

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VOLUME XXVI.-NUMBER 34.
COLtJMBtJS, NEBRASKA. WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER 4, 1895.
WHOLE NUMBER 1,334.
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HANNAH S SILK DRESS.
LAVENDER silk
dress!" said Hoses
Means scornfully.
"What on earth de
yon want of laven
der silk dresses?
Ain't goln' te be
married, are ye,
Hanner?"
"How ye do talk.
Moses Means!" said
the elderly spinster,
a faint shade of color rising into her
wrinkled check.
"Well, then, what are you fooltn'
away your time looking at this 'ere
sleazy stuff?" said the farmer, shifting
uneasily from one foot to another. "Our
mother never had a silk dress, and she
lived to be eight-. And my departed
partner, she never so much aa asked for
a silk dress! Alapacky and merino was
good enough for her. Why ain't It good
enough- for you?"
Outside the store door the old horse
stood hitched to the post In a most de
jected attitude, as if he were heartily
ashamed of the mud-splashed wagon
behind him, with its faded buffalo
robes, and the various boxes and pack
ages stored in the rear. Phoebe, the
little city niece, held up her palm-leaf
fan to keep off the sun, and secretly
wondered how long Aunt Hannah
.would be about her shopping. When
Uncle Moses was summoned to assist in
the deliberations, she had nearly de
spaired. Phoebe was not well that summer and
her mother had eagerly accepted for
her the invitation given by Aunt Han
nah to come out to Whey Farm and try
the efficacy of country air, thick cream
and new-laid eggs. They had packed
her little valise at ten minutes' notice,
and hero she was on her way to an un
known land, a little elated and a good
deal frightened.
As she waited there the clerk made
one more attempt to attract these shy
customers.
"It's a splendid piece of silk." said
he, giving it a flowing sweep over his
left arm. "And reduced half a dollar
"I'VE COTCHED
a yard! Better take it ma'am. You
won't have another such a chance."
Hannah lingered, but Moses Means
nudged her with his elbow.
"N'o," said he. "we don't want it
Come, Hanner. it's a-past sunset, and I
den't admire to drive through Racket
Swamp arter dark. Come, I say."
Miss 'Means sighed deeply.
"I'll hev a silk dress yet before I die."
raid she, as she climbed into the clumsy
equipage.
"Not if I know it." said Moses.
"Pretty you'd look in a silk dress,
wouldn't you? Get up, Sorrel."
"Whey Farm was a wild and solitary
pTace.where foxes slunk along the stone
walls by day and whip-poor-wills sung
at night; but Phoebe liked it She
gathered wild roses and helped Aunt
Hannah with the household duties; she
rode to mill in Uncle Moses ox cart
and took long walks in the fern-scented
woods. She listened patiently to Aunt
JJannahs complaints as to her brother's
parsimony, and mended Uncle Moses'
blue overalls until there was more
patch than material on them.
But one sultry summer night Phoebe,
sitting late at her casement to finish in
her own brain a little poem about the
rising moon, thought she heard voices.
"I must be mistaken," pondered she.
"Nobody ever comes up this road after
dark. It must be Uncle Moses count
. ing out the money in that leather bag
after he'd gone ts bed. I've heard him
do it before now; or it's Aunt Hannah
scatting the cats out of the dairy."
. But it was not Uncle Moses at all.
Uncle Moses' reverberating snores is
suing from the keyhole of his door suffi
ciently contradicted that theory. And
although Aunt Hannah's muffled voice
w&s plainly to be heard still it was not
the cat whose counter-accents rumbled
mysteriously on the air.
Here was a mystery! All her life
long this romantic little girl had been
longing for a mystery to unravel, and
here it was directly under the eaves of
Whey Farmhouse.
"It can't be possible'thought Phoebe,
with a throbbing heart, "that Aunt
Hannah has a lover! Aunt Hannah is
fifty, and wears spectacles and false
teeth. But I mean to see wbo.it is."
Noiselessly she crept around the cor
ner of the weather-beaten old house,
keeping well in the shadow, with her
lips apart her eyes sparkling with
strange excitement
Yes. there was Aunt Hannah leaning
ont of the window, whispering and ges
ticulating; and there In the catnip bed
below stood a stalwart form, also whis
pering and gesticulating.
"Didn't I tell ye I wouldn't disappoint
voh" said the voice, in a carefully re
strained roar.
"I 'most made np my miad yen
wasnt comin," said Aunt Haanah.
"I said Td.be here, and Fat here I"
"I dunao whether I can traat what ye
say or not." hesitated Aaat Haaaah.
Phoebe's heart beat quicker than ever.
"I gaeas it's jast the other way.'spake
the Kerne. "If s me has ptrt
m
r f it-- ..i - z p a a t .m -i .
a
Ib you. If you was to g sack aa me
I'd be raised!"
"Well," hesitated Miss Hannah, "wilt
eat there a minute and 111 come dews."
"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" thought Phoebe,
"what had I better do? It's surely sty
duty to call Uncle Moses. Who knows
bnt this lover is a burglar i'a disguise?
I've heard Uncle Moses say half a dozea
times that Aunt Hannah bad bo more
knowledge of the world thaa a child.
And there's the leather bag of money,
and all the silver spoons, and the little
old teapot that belonged to Graadattat
Zernlah."
And spurred on by these recollections,
Phoebe flew to rouse up Uncle Moses,
who slept the sleep of the Just in the
.little three-cornered bedroom over the
kitchen.
"Eh?" said Uncle Moses, when at last
he was made to comprehend the exigen
cies of the case. "A burglar! A-mak-ing
love to your Aunt Hannah? More
likely a crazy man escaped from the
asylum!"
Phoebe clasped her hands.
"Oh, uncle, I never thought of that!"
fluttered she.
"Get the broom and the poker and
the blackthorn walkin'-stick," said Un
cle Moses. "And you Btand back o' the
door so no one can come in, and I'll jest
take the old musket down from the pegs
over the fireplace and go around to the
back."
Even while Phoebe obeyed these
hoarsely muttered directions, a guilty
sense came over her that she had been
disloyal In thus betraying good Aunt
Hannah.
"I shouldn't have liked it if I had a
lover," thought Phoebe. "But then
Aunt Hannah is so different, and he
may be a burglar or an insane man
come to kill us all."
"Hal-loo!"she could hear Uncle Moses
bawling. "I've cotched ye, hev I? Bag
and baggage, boss and wagon. What
be I doin'? Jest stir one step and I'll
pepper ye over with birdshot Why,
I'm keepln ye from elopin' with my
sister Hanner, that's what I'm doin'."
"Be ye crazy, Moses Means?" shrilly
screamed Hannah. "Putr flown that
gun, why don't ye? It ain't no high-
$ '.
mu
YE, HEV I?
wayman; it's Cappen Milo Peck, of the
ship Lucy Miriar, and he's come to
bring me a silk dress that I've sold eggs
and butter to pay for. It comes cheap
'cause there ain't no duty to pay on it
Captain Milo he brought it over for his
wife, and she'd been dead six weeks
afore It reached this ere kentry and he's
goin to let me have it half price."
"Je-ru-sa-lem!" uttered Moses, letting
the gun drop heavily to the ground.
"The silk-dress question agin! I don't
believe a woman would be happy in
heaven ef they don't wear silk dresses
there. Then you ain't no burglar?"
"No," shouted Cippen Milo Peck.
"Nor no beau o Hanner's?"
"Moses, how can you," remonstrated
his sister.
"Well, I hain't been up to this time,'
said Cappen Milo after a few seconds of
consideration; "but sence I see bow in
different you treat her here, and what
excellent butter she makes, and if she
hain't no obection to the sea, why, I'd
as soon be her beau as any one else's."
"My gracious me!" said Aunt Hannah.
"Always provided." added the cappen,
"that there ain't nothln' said 'bout them
smuggica goods; that ain't nobody's
business but mine and Miss Hanner's.
If a seafarin man can't oblige hisself
and his neighbors once in awhile I
dunno who can. And now we're on the
subject. Miss Hanner," raising his voice
an octave higher. "I'm a man of few
words, but you've knowed me sence I
was knee-high to a grasshopper, and
I've got a good house and farm, and the
command of as good a sailin vessel as
ever flew the Stars and Stripes at her
masthead. And there's lots o' silk
dresses as good as that in the bundle
in the late Mrs. Peck's wardrobe at
home."
"Silk dresses!" repeated Aunt Han
nah. "Well, I do declare, the thing's
worth considering"
"Wal," slowly spoke ' Cappen Milo
Peck. "Ill give ye until four "o'clock
to-morrow arternoon to think the mat
ter over, and then I'll call for an an
swer.
"It'll be yes,'" whispered Uncle
Moses. "Them silk dresses cettled the
question."
The cappen's white teeth gleamed in
the starlight; he slowly retreated to his
wagon. Uncle Moses came back into
the house rather sheepishly with his
gun over his shoulder.
"I guess, little gal."said he to Phoebe,
"we won't say nothln more about this."
"Oh. uncle, you won't tell tuntie
that "
"That you giv her away? No no!
Mum's the word!" chuckled Uncle
Moses, and he went straight to bed.
Aunt Haanah was dressed, in her best
black stuff gowa, with a peacock-bine
ribbon at her neck, the next day at four
o'clock, when Capea Milo Peck drove
ap. He stayed to tea, at which festive
meal a cream layer cake, wafles and
plum preserves were brought forth ia
lavish profasiaB.
We're to he read Ib meetia' next
8eitday.M complacently observed Aunt
Hannah, when he had laaliy takes his
departure, 'i aaali have & get ybaf
wldewed sister, Phoebe, to come and
keep aoase fir Moses whea I'm gone.
I ain't so sorry for him as I should be
if he properly appreciated me all these
years. Or if he'd give me that silk
dress i wanted sd bad: Bat I shall have
four silk dresses, all of the Tery best;
whea I'm married to Capea Mild Peek!"
"And all on 'em smagled!" chuckled
Uncle Moses:
"Moses, do hold your tongue!"
snapped the bride-elect.
"Well, I guess I'd better,seeia' I don;t
want bo arrests made at the weddin',"
said Uncle Moses. "Bat I aerer did
see a courtship rattled through in such
short order."
"Yes," said Hannah, approvingly,
"Cappea Milo Peck Is a man ef few
words." Helen Forest Graves la Peo
ple's Home Journal.
POSTAGE STAMP REFORM:
Collectors orgaafelag- to Boycott
Spec-
alatlve Iaaae. or Staaaai.
For a long time the stamp collectors
and dealers have been annoyed by what
they consider the objectionable practice
of certain governments in making fre
quent changes in their stamp issues,
says Chicago Post It is alleged that
these changes are not due to any legi
timate postal needs, but are really di
rected at the pocketbooks of the collec
tors throughout the world, who, to com
plete then collections, must buy these
unnecessary and speculative issues
Central American and South American
countries have been particular offend
ers in this regard t(hough other coun
tries and colonies have not been far
behind. In the case of some Central
and South American countries peculiar
contracts exist with the firms that en
grave and print the stamps. The print
ers in this regard, though other coun
and in return, are allowed to retain, af
ter an issue becomes obsolete, all the
stamps remaining on hand. As they
can print as many stamps as they please
during the year the issue is in use,
there is always a goodly lot left over.
These remainders the engravers sell.
Recently, so bad has been the evil from
the stamp collector's point of view, that
a society has been formed in England
especially to fight the Unnecessary is
sues by a great world-wide boycott,
This association, which is known for
mally as the Society for the Suppression
of Speculative Stamps, has its head
quarters in London. It has already
commenced active work, and has is
sued several circulators denouncing
certain varieties and issues of stamps
as unnecessary and speculative, and
asking collectors and stamp dealers to
cease collecting and dealing in them.
It has also issued requests to stamp
collecting societies in other countries
to work in unison with it
Blackmail Religionist.
"Ghauteea" in English, "wharf or
bank men" is the name given to a
class of people, always Brahmins, who
at certain religious festivals line the
banks of the Ganges, extorting a fee
from each bather. At Benares, for a
distance of five miles, the bank of the
Ganges is besprinkled with temples
and earthen and wooden platforms,
which overlook the bank of the holy
stream; scarcely a cubit's length is lert
for a landing place for boats and trav
elers. Every one of these platforms is
occupied by its proprietor, who sits
cross-legged, in the simple dignity of
nudity, mumbling out, in a measured
and monotonous voice, the ifalnes of his
favorite divinities. Every orthodox
Hindoo, as he comes out of the broad
bosom of Ganga, makes an offering to
the Ghauteea, who, in return, marks
his forehead and pronounces a blessing.
When the bathers are foreigners they
are not allowed even to approach the
stream in places occupied by the Ghau
teeas until they have paid down the
sum demanded of them.
A Kotnauce of To-Day.
"Do you thing Harold really loves
you?" said one girl.
"I am sure of it," replied the other
rapturously. "He risks his life twice
a week to see me."
"How?"
"He has to pass a grade crossing
every time he comes to see me."
Washington Star.
Xo Doubt or It.
Kiilsan You say that he comes from
a very old family?
Dax One of the oldest in the world.
Two of his ancestors are named in the
Bible.
Killson Impossible! Who?
Dax Adam and Eve.
Trjrlnsr to Elscoant Her.
Mamma What are you shaking the
life out of that poor cat for? Willie I
heard pa say that the kitty had 20
in her last night I was only trying
to shake some of it out Current Liter
ature.
WOMEN.
Mrs. Humphrey Ward is said to have
saved $100,000 from the receipts of her
novels.
Rosa Bonheur and Mme. Dieulafoy,
the wife of the explorer, are the only
two women in France who are legally
authorized to appear in men's clothes.
Miss Hypatia Boyd, a deaf and dumb
girl, has passed the Wisconsin univer
sity entrance examination with honor
and begins the regular course of study
this autnmn.
Mrs. Lillie Pardee, who is a candidate
for state senator in Utah, is thirty years
old, a teacher of Latin and Greek and
wife ol a SaP Lake lawyer. She is a
republican and sayg she is sure of elec
tion. Yvette Guilkert is worth about $250.
000; $39,000 of this was made by a gold
mine speculation, but the greater part
was earned on the stage. Her nightly
income from this source is said to be
about 1125.
The Marquis Imperiali, well known
in Washington, has recently become en
gaged to a beautiful Neapolitan. She Is
of high birth as well, being the cldes:
daughter of Dan Eduardo Colonna,
prince of Summcnte.
Dr. Mabel Spenser, a Kansas City,
Kan., woman, has been appointed
county physician of Riley county, Kan..
to succeed Dr. Willard, who receatly re
signed. She is the first woman in Kan
sas to receive such an appointment
Rere Kicgsley. daughter of Charles
Klagsley. promises to visit us
this wiater to lecture ob the French
art of this century, en Warwickshire
localisms Ib Shakespeare's plays and
ana em outer subjects ia art aa--j
letters.
KING OF ASHANTEE.
THB MOST feXTRAORDlNARV
MONARCH ON EARTH
Great Brltafa Eh Jast Declared War
a HIM Tar Makta Uaauia Saeri
ear. Ball Will Gat the' Caaatty
aa lis Great Weaitiv
HEKINGOFASH-
antee, the most
extraordinary ruif
Ing potentate of the
world, stands sud
denly revealed. Of
all the astonishing
kings of Africa or
South Sea Island
cannibal chiefs he
is the most remark
able. King Prempeh, King of Ashantec, has
defied the English government He has
announced his readiness for war, and
is now awaiting the arrival of the Brit
ish troops.
The King of Ashantee is the absolute
monarch of about three million sut
jects. They live in the heart of the
African forest, a few hundred miles
back from the "Gold Coast'' The King
wears a girdle of dried grass around his
hips and a "plug" hat He owns ho
crown, but in some way has become
possessed of a silk bat, which now does
duty as an emblem of sovereignty;
Another remarkable fact about this
barbarous king is that he has no
throne. He has, however, a solid gold
stcol, which does service as a throne.
It takes four able-bodied slaves to tug
this heavy stool around.
But the great official emblem of royal
authority is an umbrella. This curiosi
ty has a big bamboo handle, and spokes
of embossed gold. On the end of each
spoke is a human skull. Nobody, not
even the King himself, knows the sig
nificance of this strange sceptre of ma
jesty, but it has descended to him from
a long line of ancestry.
King Prempeh, among other things,
has exactly 3,333 wives allowed him by
law. Why thia liberal figure was de
cided upon His Majesty does not know.
Like the umbrella, they came to him
by inheritance.
The King wears earrings. They are
of solid gold. He also has other person
al adornments of solid gold. His royal
ancestors all wore gold earrings, too.
His majesty lives in a big stone and
native brick palace the only structure
or the kind in the kingdom. His Royal
Highness sleeps on the floor.
The King is several times a million
aire, and it is believed that he has sev
eral barrels of gold dust and nuggets.
Ashantec is rich in gold.
King Prempeh is a bloodthirsty mon
arch and he is in the habit of making
human sacrifices on a wholesale scale.
Whenever it pleases him to do so he
orders a few hundred subjects to be be
headed. Besides this, during certain
religious ceremonies, it is customary to
kill subjects. It is this practice which
England wants the King to stop. And
it is to put an end to these human sac
rifices that the British troops will wade
into the forest and make war on the
King.
It is just twenty-one years since the
British government appropriated $4,
000,000 to send out an expedition to
bring the King of Ashantee to terms,
and before the expedition got back, af
ter burning Coomassie, his capital, it
had cost as much more.
The English troops under Sir Garnet
i Wolseley remained only two days in the
capital of Ashantee. Before they left
the savage potentate agreed to do cer
tain things. That was King Koffee.
His successor, the present King of
Ashantee, King Prempeh, has not ful
filled these conditions.
Turning aside from the complications
of the Eastern question, the dispute
about Venezuela and the row with Rus
sia over China, the British government
sent an ultimatum to the King of
Asbactee. They gave him until Oct 3L
But this savage monarch was not
frightened by the untimatum of Britain.
He did not even wait until the ulti
matum expired.
A dispatch from Accra, on the Gold
Coast, dated on the last day of Oc
tober, sajd that Capt Donald Stewart
the special British Commissioner, who
had gone to Coomassie, escorted by 100
Houssas, had returned to the coast He
said that the King had rejected the
ultimatum and defied Great Britain.
1 The King of Ashantee said in effect
s that he did not care a snap of his finger
I for iTa Hritlh fMi.t. J ! k
for the British government aad that he I
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was ioekia for Igai According to
opinion ob, the Gold -Coast he win get
It The King, at the time the British
Commissioner left Coomassie, appeared
tb be preparlag for waf
The terms of the ultimatum were
that he should have a British Commis
sioner In his country, and that he Should
place Ashantee under the "protection"
ef Great Britain. This burly negro,
who has $.333 wives and orders people's
heads to be eat & if his breakfast dis
agrees with him, is believed to know
what "the protection of Great Britain"
means.
England now controls the coast out
side of his territory. The French con
trol the neighboring country of Da
homey, whose King is protected by a
body guard of armed women, Ashailtee
is rich in gold, and both England and
France have long looked at it with
jealous eyes. -
According to the last dispatches from
the Gold Coast, where the coming war
on the King of Ashantee is the one topic
of conversation, there will be no time
iost in making a start A strong force
Of imperial and native troops, it is said,
will now be sent to Coomassie to bring
the King to terms. Sir Francis Scott
the Inspector-General of the Gold Coast
forces, who is now ill England, will
leave for West Africa as soon as possi
ble td Organize the force.
The advance of the British into the
King of Ashantee's country is expected
to be well under way early in December.
In the meanwhile troops will be sent to
Accra from Lagos and other places.
All is ndw Excitement on the Gold
Coast
There is probably not another African
monarch who can cause the British
government so much trouble and ex
pense as the King of Ashantee. He is
a very powerful potentate. His people
IPaaaBaaHBMKaamW s V
THE KING OF ASHANTfiS.
are all born fightrs, who would rather
fight than eat.
He is ah absolute despot. The King
of Ashantee could give points in despot
ism to the Sultan of Turkey and the
Czar of Russia. If the Czar were to do
the things which the King of Ashantee
thinks nothing of doing there would be
a vacancy in the Winter Palace.
If any man looks at one of his 3,333
wives that man's name is Dentils. Bonn
of these numerous wives of the King of
Ashantee are not worth looking at, it is
true, but the owner of any profane eyes
that even by acident happened to rest
upon them would be conducted to a
shady grove in the neighborhood of tho
town and fail to return
When one king dies 2,000 people are
killed as a guard of honor to accompany
him to the other world. As many as
10,000 are reported to have been killed
on one occasion in a single day.
Upon every national festival it is also
the custom for the King of Ashantee to
offer human sacrifices. People are be
lieved to be killed almost every day at
Coomassie, the capita, and this kind of
official murder is a regular thing.
THE BRAVE
LITTLE PECCARY.
A Very
Plucky lighter
Waea lie Is
An-rj-. Despite His Size.
Of the few American quadrupeds for
which an intelligent hunter entertains
a certain amount of respect, the Col
lared Peccary is one. Although he is
only a little flat-sided, high-shouldered
hog. wild and uneducated, yet he is a
plucky fighter when angry and like a
true child of the wild west, he gets mad
quite easily. It always annoys him
very much that any one should dare to
go a-gunning for him, and Mr. A. B.
Baker, of the Washington "Zoo,"
points to a long slit in the side of his
leather leggings as an illustration of
what a Texas Peccary can do when he
is very angry.
This species has a very wide range,
being found from the Red river of Ar
kansas as far south as Patagonia. In
Texas it is no longer abundant save in
the low jungle bottom lands along the
Rio Grande. It does not go in great
droves, like the White-lipped Peccary,
and it is seldom that more than eight
or ten individuals are seen together.
The time was when they were much
more ready to fight than they arc now;
but like all other dangerous animals,
they have learned to fear man and his
deadly firearms. (W. T. Hornaday, in
St Nicholas;
Aaxloas for Crttleieam,
Scribbler I always make it a point
to submit my poems to friends, for sug
gestions and criticism, before publica
tion, and I have brought some pages for
you to look over. Bibbler Um yes,
of course; but why not take it to Nib
bier? Scribbler Huh! He's a born
idiot! The last time I showed him a
Poem he found fault with it
BOB, A BLIND DOO, GONE.
Oast a frataft iUea Car aa WeaMat
Caata wttk a ttmmp Cat
Bob, the blind dog that hat bee at
tacked to the police static at Weft
Brighton. S. I., for the last fdnr years,
has disappeared, and bow there Is gloom
la the police circles of West Brightem.
Ab interloper cat is responsible for his
absence.
Four years ago he tarned up irt the
police station, half starved, and a po
liceman lamed Bob fed him and gave
him a name, and under thla. treatment
the dog came out wonderfully. -He was
of a very mixed breed, common cuf
blood predominating, and his coat was
a mixture of white and yellow, ar
ranged after an Indescribable ornery
pattern. This was when the police sta
tion was in the old haunted house aad
when at 2 o'clock the spook made its
irregular appearance. Bob was the
worst frightened inmate of the station.
He always, after his first ghostly experi
ence, ran out into the street, and it
took great coaxing to induce him to re
turn. He had a habit of assisting the
sergeant to turn out the squad of po
lice every morning at 0 o'clock. He
stood at the head of the column, and
when the command "March!" was given
he gave two sharp yelps. Then he went
across the street and visited the
butcher, who happened to be the father
of policeman Bob, and there he stayed
until time to turn out another squad
of police, at 6 o'clock In the evening.
Then, until next morning, he was the
guardian of the station. He became
blind three years ago by a cataract
forming over his eyes. He had already
become very familiar with the station
and its surroundings, however, and his
blindness did not embarrass him to any
extent When a big gray cat took a
fancy to the police station a few days
ago, Bob showed his displeasure to
everyone except the cat. He was evi
dently afraid of pussy. He spent all of
his time with the butcher for two days,
and then disappeared altogether. All
the police have orders to look for him.
JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.
I am more interested in the vices ov
mankind than I am In their virtews.
Their vices need charity; their virtews
will take kare ov themselfs.
I know ov men whoze word iz better
than ther bond. Theze fellows I call the
knight-crrants In honesty.
Tharc iz nothing the human harte ac
cepts more greedily than flattery, and
nothing It ought to be more ashamed ov.
No man haz ever yet bekum so wize
az tu kno how mutch he lovs himself,
and how little he luvs biz nabor.
Wimmln are elegant kreatures; but I
never saw one yet who could expec
torate gracefully.
Our reason, and our pashuns, are the
two best things given us; and he who
haz no pashun mite az well hav no
rcazon. m
Yu kan argy a man out ov hiz opin
yuns, and even out ov hiz religion, but
yu kan't out ov the color ov hiz nektye,
or the squeeze ov hiz boots.
One grate rcazon whi philosophy and
philanthropy so often fail iz becauza
so mutch ov them iz spent on the world,
and so little on curselfs.
Too mutch mental kulture ackts on
the branes just az too mutch hoeing and
manure duz on a pumpkin vine; it
makes a labarinth ov vine, and a re
moresless want ov pumpkin.
I hav seen men whom I thought wuz
striktiy honestrbut honesty Iz so rare a
quality, that i should want large odds,
even if i wuz going tobct on miselt
Thare isn't a more thankless task "in
this world than tricing to help the im
provident Yung man, don't never put yure hand
in the lion s mouth; if yu happen to es
kape, it only proves that the lion just at
that time waz looking for a bigger Job.
I hav seen men whom the only safety
in dealing with waz to Implicity trust
I would az soon think ov pulling the
tale, feathers out ov a peakok az to in
terefer with the innosent vanity ov a
man.
Advice iz very cheap Ib market just
now; the supply haz killed the demand.
Flattery iz nothing more than Iieiag,
and it iz the most abject Mad, too.
Men ov strong pashuns are leas dan
gerous thaa men or weak ones: it is
the milksops that need the most watch
ing. He (coming out of the warm theater)
Yon look like a broiled lobster. Sao
wen, I just feel like something to
j eat Yonkers Statesman.
1
Woman's Wit
TOLD BY A SOCIETY GIRL.
SoaJetaaaa Aaaat
MefSiaaj aael fMther
Froat the Evening Hews. Kewark. 9. S.
Aawag the popular society fcadats fct Esat
Orange, I J.. Ema U SteH, a
TOBBg maidea, steads ia the foreman
She to ef a lovable dtopwitfoa aad the Ia
of the social aet ia which ska moves. Far
two years she has been a sick girl frem la
teraal trouble peculiar to womea, aad hav
ing recently recovered, has given ear
reporter the foKowid? iatereatiag accoaat:
"Instead of improving under the care of
my physician I became worse. Far Ave
weeks 1 was fthable to get ont ot bed aad
about six o'clock each morning I saaered
horribly. My lips were sore aad lacerated
from thesaarksof my teeth, Icriamy efforts
to keep from screaming I soak my teeth
deep into my lips. At such times 1 rolled
end tossed aatil the bed shook likeaaatpaa
leaf and it anally get so sertoaa that the
doctor I won't tell yea his aime gave ma
rome morphine pills to take. The very
thought of them now makes me shiver.
These morphine plllssimply put me to sleep
forawbilo and when I became coaactoM
apain my agony was renewed.
"The pain In my stomach aad back was
more than I could stand. 'Your Wood is
poor,' said the doctor, 'take sulphur aad mo
lasses, and 1 did until it was a great won
der that I was not a inolassea cake. It was
time wasted iu taking it because I was not
benefited in the least; my suffering con
tinued, but by a mighty effort after being ia
bed so long. I got up. Ob, but I was a sad
sight then. From 112 pounds I had fallen
to ninety ; my cheeks were pale aad snakes,
and I limped; yes, actually hobbled from
the extreme pain ia mv side. Then I read
of Dr. Williams' Pink Fills for Pale People
and tho test imonl Us ia the News inspired
me with hope. I got tho pills and took
them. Before many days I began to im
prove and before I had finished one box I
felt as if I could jro out aad wallc for miles.
I soon stopped limping and through tbo
Pink Pills I soon bid gnodbyo to my head
aches while tho pain ia my stomach and
back slowly but surely succumbed to the
influence of these pills that seem to be able
to persuade all pain to Icavo one's body.
Now I am as I used to bo; well and strong,
lighthearted and merry but never without
the pills. See I hare got some of them
now." and from a nearby desk she handed
out one of the tmc.
Dr. Williams' Piuk Pills contain, in a con
densed form, all the elements necessary to
give new life and richness to the blood and
restore shattered nerves, they are also a
specific for troubles peculiar to females,
such as suppressions, irregularities, and all
forms of weakness. They build np tho
blood, and restore the glow of health to pale
and sallow checks. In men they effect a
radical cure in all rases arisingfrom mental
worry, over-work, or excesses of whatever
nature. Pink Pills are sold in boxes(never
In loose bulk) at SO cent a box or six boxes
for $2.50, and may bo had of all drogfffcts,
or direct by mail from Dr. Williams Medi
nine Comoanv. Schenectadr. N. Y.
FASHION'S FANCIES.,
A quaint little costume for a child ot
four years is made of white cashmere.
The skirt is plain, save for three bands
of satin ribbon. The waist Is close
fitting, and a yoke is outlined by rib
bon bands matching the skirt From
shoulder to elbows the sleeves are
trimmed with the ribbon. Over the
sleeve tops and across the front aad
back Is set a very deep fall of open
work embroidery or Irish point lace.
A bow of ribbon on either shoulder and
a ribbon sash are worn with it
A child of five years has a dress with
skirt made of cambric elaborately em
broidered. The waist is gathered into
a yoke and belt, the sleeves are full
puffs to the elbows with wide ruffles
of embroidery below An Eton jacket
of velvet and a very wide velvet sash
tied with long loops and ends, make an
appropriate and dressy finish.
A dainty dress for a doll has a vel
vet petticoat and silk skirt with an
embroidered edge. The waist of silk
is close-fitting, and an Eton jacket of
velvet is worn with It. The sleeves are
large and have close bands at the
wrists. A sailor bat with a wing is set
on over the yellow curls.
A bonnet for a little girl is made
with the crown of solid embroidery.
The brim is of openwork embroidery
and lace, and Is slightly plaited over
the top and falls almost straight down
either Bide of the front Ribbon strings
are tied in a bow under the chin.
A hat for a tiny girl Is made of plait
ings of taffeta set one over another to
form a brim. The crown haa aa up
right trimming of the plaltiag and
there are very large bows on either
side.
A dress for a tiny girl Is made of
crepon in accordion plaits from the
yoke to the feet The sleeves are very
large puffs from shoulders to elbows,
with fitted bands and a ruffle of em
broidery below. A collar of embroidery
extends far out over the sleeves and is
finished at the neck with a niching of
plaited ribbon.
A dress suit for a small boy is made
of velvet The knee trousers and coat
are of this material. The vest is of
white satin or silk, and there are em
broidered turned-over collar and cuffi
of fine cambric.
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
Wear a clean apron while ironing or
bed-making.
To clean bamboo furniture use a
brush dipped In salt water.
Theeyesshouldbe bathed every night
in cold water just before retiring, and
they will do better work the following
day.
When very tired lie on the back, al
lowing every muscle to relax. letting
the hand3 go any way they will, and
keep the eyes closed.
Oil stains may be removed from wall
paper by applying for four hours pipe
clay, powdered and mixed with water
to the thickness of cream.
If you have to sew all day, change
your seat occasionally, and so obtain
rest. Bathing the face and hands will
also stimulate and refresh.
For stains in matting from grease,
wet the spot with alcohol, then rub on
white castile soap. Let thiz dry in a
cake end then wash off with warm salt
water.
Where it is desirable to see the
tongue of a very small child the object
may be accomplished by touching th-j
upper lip with a bit of sweet oil. which
will cause the child to protrude its
tongup.
Sore or inflamed eyes are relieved by
bathing in tepid or warm water in
which a little salt has been dissolved.
An Individual towel should be used in
all such cases never one which is
used in common by members ef the
fraUy.
CURRENT NOTES.
Mudge "Another man called me a
liar last Bight" Yabsley "What did
yoa dor "Well, as he was three sizes
bigger than I, I asked him why he
coalda't say something original." Ia
dianaaolis JouraaL
fipim4l.
l-VlgmMlTBatataft
maSlmmlSlriaalafc
Takatdi
BUYS GOOD NOTES
AKD MUCTOISI
Lbuxbeb GnxaBD, Pres't,
B. H. Hbjtbt, Vice Prest,
U. BftUGGEK, Cashier. -Jomr
Stautitr. Wm. Bucheb.-
-OF-
COLUMBUS. NEB.,
HAS AX
AitMzi Capital if - $500,000
Pail it Capital, - 90,000
omCEKi.
O. H. SHELDON. Pro t't.
IL P. H. OEHLRIOU. Vice Pre.
CLAUK GRAY. Caahler. '
DANIEL SCI1KA1I. Aaa't Cash
DIRECTORS.
H. M. Wnnuw, II. P. It. Orauuca;
O. II. Sheldon. W. a. McAlustkb.
Joaaa Wslch. Cabl Kisaaa.
BTOCKHOLDERS.
. OL Gjut. J. Hkkkt WeUBBaUir,
Omira Loemos, Hexry Losekb.
clabk Gray. Gxo. W. Galixt.
Dahikx. Scrbax. A. V. U. Osauucs.
KOBXR. j. r. USCKSa jlstatr.
KBBBCCA BXCXZR.
Baakef deposit: fntarest allowed an tlaa
aaposlts: buy and sell exebango on Ualtl
Statea aad Lurope, and buy aad sell avail
able securities. Wo shall be pleased to re
ceive your business. We solicit your pat
roaage. Columbus Journal!
A weekly aawspaper de
votes the beatiBtereataef
COLUMBUS
TIECOalTYOFPUTTE.
The State ol Nebraska
THE IMTED STATES
Ml THE REST OF MMKIID
with
mtia
$1.50 A YEAR,
fJTFAJDIJI.aWri
Bat ear mat of
is
its.
stmt & sap
HENRY GASS,
GtalBJ : fsi : Mttallie : Cases!
Uphol
I4C oounnm.
commiHis Journal
PRINTING IFFICE.
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