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cocd-claaa mail matter.
M.
THDXD BTXXT WESHMSAX XX
K. TURlSrER & CO.
Columbus, Neb.
' BUBSCBIPTIOV:
3t8 or
One year, by mail, io6tageTp repaid $L50
Three months 40
Payable In AdTaaoe.
tVSpedaaaeopiMnailad fraa, en appuo
rioa.
TO STTMCXIZZBS.
Whoa saoacrlbera chases their plnoe of resi
dence they aaoald at oaoe notify as by letter or
postal card, girins Both their f oncor and then
Sreaant poet-office, the firet enablse u to roadib
ad the name on oar mailing list, from which,
being in type, we each week print, either on the
wrapper or o the margin of jraar Joubhal, the
date to which your inscription is paid or ac
counted for. Bemittancee ehoold be madr
either by money-order, registered latter or draft.
ayable to the order of
M. K. TOBim & Co.
to oouufosdmts.
All conmonicationi, to secure attention, most
I e accompanied by the fall nam of the writer.
W reserve the right to reiect any flannsenpt.
and cannot agree to return the eatte. edesin
a correspondent in erery echool-distnct o!
I'l&tte conaty, one of good jadgment, and re
liable in every way. Write plainly, each ilen
separately. Gits as facri,
WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 27. ISPS.
Journal & Bee.
We give you The Columbus
Journal and the Omaha
Weekly Bee for 2 a year,
when paid in advance. Sub
scriptions may begin at any
time, and now is the time
to begin with the two,
whether subscription to ei
ther lias expired or not. . . .
Bee & Journal.
Wrrn thousands of tons of silver stored
away in the government vaults, why
must we increase our interest-bearing
debt by issuing lionds?
Instead of paying off the public debt
at the rate of about ten million dollars a
month, as under republican administra
tion, our democratic hired men at Wash
ington are adding to it at about that
rate.
Congressman Bailey of Texas was
barely restrained the other day from
making a motion to impeach President
Cleveland, such is the intensity of feel
ing against him growing out of the last
bond transaction.
DISBARMENT AND CONTEMPT.
Come Before the Sa-Court.
The greatest evidence of wrong head
edness with President Cleveland is that
he assumes to le the government, when
he is only a portion of it. The "my-pol-icy"
men have never leen successes in
the presidential office.
Keep the good old-fashioned word
"coin" just where it is and make the
silver dollar as good as gold and the
paper dollar as good as either. That is
republican doctrine and has been for
years and years. Inter Ocean.
James W. Scott has acquired control
of the Herald and Evening Post of
Chicago and is said to be negotiating for
the Times. Twenty years ago he was
part proprietor of the Daily Hotel Re
porter, nis success has been phe
nomenal. Three years ago President Harrison
extended 25,000,000 4 per cent bonds
at 2 per cent. But he did not limit the
sale to English purchasers, you know.
Suppose he had, and paid V,)4 per rent,
how democrats would have howled!
Chicago Inter Ocean.
At 2 o'clock last Wednesday morning
a delegation from Sedalia, arrived at
Jefferson City, Missouri, and by noon a
resolution providing for the submission
of a constitutional amendment for the
removal of the state cnpitol to Sedalia
had passed the house, and at 4 in the
afternoon received the approval of the
senate.
Several boards of health, notably of
New York City and Cincinnati are hold
ing to the thery that consumption is
contagious. At the latter place the other
day the hospital authorities ordered 100
consumptives sent to the small-pox pest
house. Dr. Amick. t he famous specialist.
is covering the theory with ridicule, and
rousing the people to the brutality of
the order.
Every loard in charge of the people's
money the country over is expected to
use the utmost precaution so that the
public may have as nearly as possible
the full worth of their money, but here
are President Cleveland and Secretary
Carlisle, as U. S. agents, making an ex
penditure of $02,000,000 in bonds, and
Belling them at private sale, when it is
fairly estimated that hundreds of thous
ands of dollars might haveleen saved by
offering them to the best bidders.
Senator Tefft's resolution condemn
ing the lata chief oil inspector Frank
Hilton and recommending his prosecu
tion to secure the S5.000 or more delin
quent from him passed the senate with
out a dissenting vote. Hilton's appoint
ment should never have been made by
ex-Governor Crounse, having been inti
mately acquainted with him for years,
he knew the character of the man. It
was said at the time that Hilton owed
Crounse $2,000 and that he took this
method of securing the payment, of his
claim.
The Journal fails to see that any good
has ever been accomplished by the oil
inspection law, and it might as well be
repealed. Any useless offices should be
abolished at once. The last administra
tion was the worst of course, but from
the first it has seemed but a scheme to
create places for needy partisans, and
not specially for the public good. The
Hilton administration was such as to call
down the wrath of the entire state upon
the law that makes such a thing possi
ble to be foist upon a long-suffering
commonwealth.
Subjects That are to
-&, prerae
Theifollowing, from the Lincoln Jour
nal will be interesting to many of our
readers. The case came to this county,
by change of venue, from Boono county;
Platte wants nothing added to her own
list of criminals:
Rumors of a very interesting nature
concerning a matter that is expected to
come before the supreme court are heard
at the state house. It is said an applica
tion will be made looking to the disbar
ment of an attorney, the arraignment of
a sheriff for contempt of court and a
suit on the bond of a prisoner who was
sentenced to the penitentiary.
Michael Lamb, a man of means, was
tried and convicted in Platte county of
stealing cattle. He was sentenced to the
penitentiary for a term of four years.
He took the case to the supreme court
and the judgment was affirmed, but in
the meantime Lamb had gone to Greeley
county and was at liberty on bail.
The supreme conrt issued the usual
mandato which directed the sheriff of
Platte county to execute the sentence of
the district court, but when Lamb was
next heard from it was discovered that
he had appeared before the county judge
of Greeley county and by some hocus
pocus proceedings set at liberty. The
proceedings in Greeley county on Lamb's
behalf were instituted by an attorney,
M. B. Gearon.
It is charged that a deal was fixed up
to prevent execution of judgment in this
case, and Attorney Gearon will l)e given
a chance to explain. Other attorneys
may be implicated leforo the affair is
settled. Papers are to be filed in a
few days.
Tefft's Good Koads Rill.
One of the important bills introduced
in the senate at the present session is the
good roads bill offered by Senator Tefft
of Cass county. By the provisions of
this bill each county in the stato having
less than 125,000 inhabitants, excepting
portions occupied by cities and incorpo
rated villages, is declared to be a separ
ate and distinct road department, and
all road districts and the office of road
overseer or supervisor heretofore exist
ing in such counties are abolished.
If the bill becomes a law it will make
a most radical change in all existing
statutes and will place Nebraska in the
front rank of the states that are endeav
oring to solve the good roads problem.
It first provides that the conuty board
of each county shall have 6ole and ex
clusive power and authority to govern,
manage, regulate, lease, establish, vacate,
alter, relocate, widen, narrow, improve,
pave, macadamize, construct, purchase
and repair all public roads and bridges
within the road department of the
county. 'Each county road department
is divided into road districts, all under
charge of the county surveyor. After
the surveyor has reported upon the needs
of each district the county board is
directed to let contracts for the improve
ment and care of the roads. In order to
provide funds for the road department
the county board is directed to levy and
collect in cash a tax not to exceed 8
mills on the dollar valuation of all real
and personal property of the county.
A tostal savings-bank system seems
to be growing in favor with the people,
and when it is adopted, the bankers of
the United States will readily be con
vinced (if, indeed, any of them really
need convincing), that the government
need not call upon European capitalists
to buy our bonds. Give us a protective
policy, including all our varied indus
trial and commercial interests, and the
United States will be all right. Develop
our mining interest to its n't most, and
hund reds of thousands will find constant
employment ; develop ourshipping inter
ests to their utmost, and thousands of
h-jrdymen will find their living and their
delight in transacting business with
foreign lands; make the laws tohelponr
own workmen, whether on the farm or in
tho shop, behind the counter or in the
office the man toiling with hand or
brain or both, to make the life of every
man on this earth better every day; con
strain official servants to honor your
laws by themselves observing them, and
teaching or compelling others to regard
them as rules of action laid down by
your authority; bend every effort in the
line of progress toward what is right and
true, jnst and honorable.
Inter Ocean Shorts.
Under "tariff reform" the administra
tion finds it much easier to borrow mil
lions than make millions. Bat the plan
pleases all Europe. The English capi
talist would always prefer to buy bonds
rather than spend his money for the
privileges of our markets.
The most reliable figures show that the
United Slates has in banks and in de
posit vaults 061.000,000 in gold and
$024,000,000 in silver. It is nothing less
than a national shams that a" great nation
should under snch conditions he paralyz
ed and prostrated by a lot of tinkering
politicians.
One of the President "s favorite organs
save: "The present congress has fully
developed its capacity for incapacity."
That hardly covers the case. The organ
should have said: "Its capacity for
mischief and its incapacity for needed
legislation." Then the nail would have
been hit squarely upon the head.
If it were to be done over again neither
the McKinley law nor reciprocity wonld
be repealed. The needed amendments
would be passed and the whole land con
tinued in its prosperity. Even "the poor
man with his little dinner pail" wonld
have continued in comfort if he had not
worn that Grover Cleveland tin rooster
at the. head of the "tariff reform" pro
cession. The difference between tho first and
second terms of Cleveland's administra
tion is that in thefirst lie could only talk
and theorize, while in the second he
could put many of his theories into
practice. The last two years of his pres
ent administration he will again find
himself hampered by a republican cou
gress, with the mischief done by his
"dangerous democratic majority'' to come
up and plague him. He can truly say,
"It is not a theory but a condition that
confronts us."
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD.
A PRACTICAL PLAN FOR THE
CURING OF PORK.
Old and Simple, Bat Effective To (Set a
Good Road Tanning Sheep Skla
Balkjr Horses Farm Notes
and Home Hints.
A MECHANICAL WONDEK.
"1 believe the struggle now going on
in this country and other countries for a
single standard would, if successful pro
duce widespread disaster in and through
out the commercial world. The destruc
tion of silver as money and the estab
lishment of gold as the sole unit of value,
must have a ruinous effect upon all
forms of property, except those invest
ments which yield a fixed return in
money. Those would be enormously
enhanced in value and would gain a dis
proportionate and unfair advantage over
every other species of property. If, as
the most reliable statistics affirm, there
are nearly 7,000,000,000 of coin or bul
lion in the world not very unequally
divided between gold and silver, it is
impossible to strike silver out of exist
ence as money without results that will
prove distressing to millions and utterly
disastrous to tensof thousands." James
G. Blaine, on the Hoor of the house,
February 7, 1873.
"We live to make it possible for all to
live, and to live is not to exist in a mis
erable, wretched cramped life. I be
seech you American men and women to
face your social troubles. Keep that
great word liberty emblazoned before the
world that the stars and stripes, which
vro honor as emblem of a free nation,
may have a right to wave as emblematic
of what you profess. The love of home
in this ooim'ry is its greatest safeguard.
Where we say 'house' in England you
use the beautiful word 'homo.' I would
pray you not to build up an aristocracy
of wealth while we are tearing down an
aristocracy of birth. Let women see to
it that they are ready to inarch with the
times, that every man and every woman
has n right, to live, that they have the
right to live well, to live wholesomely,
and let us see that we make such living
possible the world over." Lady Somerset.
Cartas; Fork.
The following practical plan for
curing pork is not a "newfangled1'
method. It is old and simple, but
none the le3s effective. It was dis
carded temporarily at one time for a
trial of the sugar-curing process, the
result being a speedy return to
ancient simplicity."
Our meat is invariably sweet and
juicy, writes George T. Pettit in the
Country Gentleman. Those who eat
of it frequently make inquiry as to the
curing process. Three hogs, each
weighing about 250 lb. gross weight
are killed early in the morning (all
necessary preparation having been
made the day before) and dressed as
soon as possible. As soon as hung up
they are well scraped down with cold
water, and after the entrails are re
moved, cold water is dashed inside
the carcass. They are left suspended
until after dinner, when they are
taken down, laid on a meat bench and
cut up. one at a time, beginning with
the smallest
The pieces are carried to the cellar
and spread on boards, where they will
not freeze. Here they remain until
the next day. when they are thorough
ly rubbed with dry barrel salt, great
care being taken to get plenty of salt
in all crevices, and especially to work
it down the bone, where the leg has
been sawed off. Tho pork-barrel is
an ordinary 54-gallon oil-barrel. Af
ter a thorough scalding, it is placed
in a corner of the cellar, the bottom
covered with salt, and into this the
pork is closely packed, skin side down
next the barrel always. Salt is al
lowed to adhere to tne pieces all it
will. After they are laid in the barrel,
a small handful of salt is sprinkled
over each piece. Thejide meat being
cut in narrow strips, pieces of it can
often be used to advantage in filling
up vacant places between the large
pieces.
When the harns aad shoulders are
all in, a handful or two of salt is
sprinkled on top. and the head of an
old .salt barrel, held together by strips
nailed across, is laid on top of the
meat and weighted with a clean stone.
The spare-ribs. &c, are salted lightly
and put in a separate vessel for more
immediate use. Or they can some
times be kept frozen.
Inside of a week, brine, made by
stirring dry salt in pure cold water
until it will barely carry an egg. is
poured over the pork until the barrel
is full. Hei 3 it is allowed to remain
for about six weeks, when it is trans
ferred to the smoke house and hung
on cross ties eight feet from the floor.
As the smoke house is not batoned,
tho cracks between tho weather
boarding are somewhat open, and we
prefer to hat e it so, because it is im
portant that pork should be dried as
well as be well smoked. It hangs
here a few days before smoke is put
in. Then a slow fire is made in the
stone fireplace, directly under the
meat, and fed irom day to day with
hickory or elm chunks (we use tho
latter here) until the pieces assume a
light brown color, when a newspaper
is wrapped about each piece and it is
then slipped in a muslin sack about
the size of an ordinary pillow slip.
The sack is tight'y tied and hung in
the granary until wanted for use. The
work is begun sufficiently early to
have the meat put away before fly-lirae.
Spilkins was a progressive man. He
didn't believe that we as a people are
perpetually standing still; nothing of
the. sort He thought that we are
slowly but surely rising to better and
nobler things, and Spilkins believed
in keeping up with the times.
Some time ago a man was around
on top or tho head with the umbrella
attachment for out of door use, and
under the chin with Mrs. Spilkin's
one available caterpillar crusher.
About that time ho desisted and called
for the book of directions.
fie consulted this so long that Spil
kins thought ho must be studying the
context of his wife's somewhat ample
stockings instead of the' pamphlet be
fore nim. and so ordered him out of
taking orders for a new kind of chair the house again with a bloodthirsty
called the Mechanical Wonder, and. of j look in his eyes. Young Mr. Hook
course, he called upon Mr. Spilkins. gave one fearful glance and then fled.
This was indeed the wonder of the j Then Mrs. & grew fairly purple in
world, the man said, and its invention the face and looked just as if she were
indicated the approach of a golden j going to have spavins or maybe it
millenium. He declared most cosi- ! was sDasms that she was threatened
GUS.G.BECHKU.
LEOPOLD JiEGGI.
Established 1870.
H. F. J. IIOCKENI5EUGEB
I.SlttHEKNSEN.
Grover sent a message to congress
demanding the power to issue $500,000,
000 of gold bonds and it received proper
attention by that body and now lies in
the waste basket. What a pompous old
rooster is this boss of the sniveling
enckoos. It turns out now that he had
a private meeting with August Belmont,
Rothchild's American agent and then
and there agreed to sell this country's
bonds to the money king of Europe.
Where are we at as American citizens?
Ses-atou Peffee has obtained a favor
able report on his bill to encourage the
sinking of artesian wells in South Da
kota, Nebraska and Kansas. The bill
carries 300,000 to be expended, SIOO.OOO
iu each state. It directs "the secretary
of agriculture, co-operating with the
state engineers of irrigation, to locate
suitable, dry lake beds and natural res
ervoirs in the arid districts of these
states, so far as possible upon the public
lands of the United States, but when
thought expedient to purchase suitable
tracts of land, not to exceed G40 acres in
any one tract, and to cause to be smile
thereon artesian wells, and to provide,
when necessary, dams and other appli
ances for the purpose of forming proper
reservoirs. The secretary of agriculture
shall cause to be purchased artesian well
machinery of the most improved manu
facture, not more than five outfits for
each state, to be U6ed for the sinking of
wells under the direction of experts and
assistants, to be appointed by the secre
tary, who shall prosecute this work as
rapidly as possible."
Tiiere was a bill before the legislature
to provide that farms sold to satisfy
mortgages should be disposed of in 40
acre tracts, and that on which the home
stands to be sold last. The measure
was voted down. Business men, rail
road companies and manufactories can
have receivers appointed to manage and
conserve the interests of all parties, in
trust under the supervision of a court
for the good of all concerned, bnt the
farmer who does the main voting for
men who go to the legislature, does not
look so closely as he ought after the
things that may possibly concern him.
uraiU,uu,sl,ngm8ii between your real
friends and your pretended friends.
The Lincoln Journal gives six pic
tures of Washington-first as painted by
the artist, the well-known face of the
father of his countrv. fimf ; .
id peace and first in the hearts of his
countrymen; the others are as ho would
have appeared had there been comic
artists m those days as there are in
these-first his side hair bulged ont and
a great, lubberly double chin; second,
wu a military iiat, very diminutive,
very large wig, a long, potato nose, and
ruffled shirt front; the others are too
uornoie ior anyiuing. if you i,ave
Frederick Douglas, tho celebrated
freedman orator, died suddenly of heart
failure, Wednesday last at his residence
in Anacostia, a suburb of Washington,
D. C. Ho was born in Tnckahoe county.
Maryland, in February, 1817. Ho was a
slave and worked until he was 10 on the
plantation of his master, Edward Lloyd.
His public career began by an anti
slavery speech in 1841. In 184(5 friends
contributed S750 to have him manumit
ted in due form of law. His life was
full of exciting incidents and his growth
as an orator very rapid. In 1870 he was
appointed U. S. Marshal for the District
of Columbia, which office he held until
1881, after which he became Recorder of
Deeds. He published several books.
He leaves a widow, two sons and a
daughter.
John- Ervix, a wealthy saloon-keeper
of Muncie, Indiana, will have to foot the
bill for gambling with and winning from
W. A. Walley $T,414iO, at various times.
This was the verdict of a jury at the end
of a suit instituted by Mrs. Walley.
What would become of the people that
run the "business" in all cities and
towns, if all wives were like that one, and
all juries similarly minded? Our laws
and tho decisions of the judges are not
at fault in these matters the executive
departments are the weak links in the
chain of government control.
A democratic merchant in a New York
village sent out some circulars not long
ago, announcing that "owing to the
change in the tariff he was able to 6ell
undershirts at a considerable discount
on old prices." When the circulars be
gan to come back to him through the
mails with the indorsement on the back,
"Owing to the change in the tariff we
are compelled to do without under
shirts," he began to appreciate his own
smartness. Lincoln Journal.
Plenty of Opportunity.
Senator Hill never uses profanity.
And even the cynical will not class this
among the virtues that thrive for lack
of opportunity. Washington Star.
Dishonored, humiliated and disgraced
by a tool of Botbchilds. Crete Demo-1 good imagination you can picture out
crat. what occupies a column of space.
Perhaps Ha Has.
It looks as if James Gordon Bennett
bad an option on a lot of secondhand
tramp and tank steamers; judging by
the way the New York Herald hankers
after a free ship bill
"Oh, What a DUEarencat"
Bold Willy Wilson came out to toot
On a horn ten times as big as a flute.
Fresh from an English banquet hall
He tooted just wait till "after the ball."
And tooted free trade from morn till morn,
And the music came out at the big end of tha
horn.
Bat election day has come and has gone.
Bright hopes for the future are tingeing tha
dawn.
Grim, dark desperation has fleeted away
Since glorious protection Las brightened tha
day.
And even the Dammiea acknowledge the corn.
For their muslo bow comes from the small end
of tbahornt
Will 8. Gresoleif.
How to Get Good Koatls.
From the complaints about the bad
roads that have tilled the country pa
pers, and from the resolutions that
have been passed at several Grunge
meetings, it seems evident that our
farming communities have awakened
to the necessity of doing somothing to
render the roads passable in winter
and relieve the blockade of travel
that continues yearly through the
winter season. Good roads cost
money, but they do not cost nearly so
much as bad ones. The paralysis of
business that is the inevitable result
of muddy roads at the very season of
the year when the farmer would be
the best able to market his products,
were it possible to reach market with
a fully loaded wagon, is a great bur
den upon the prosperity of the slate.
The farmer, shut out from the market
or compelled to reach ii at double the
expense incurred at other season j is
the prime loser; but the business men
of the country towns, the merchants
of tho city, and the artisans and la
borers everywhere also share in the
loss. If the rural communities have
at last realized this fact and that
they lose more by having bad roads
than it would cost to make good ones.
then the first and most important step
in the way of remedying the evil has
been taken.
If they want good roads they can
have them, and unless they do want
them badly enough to pay for them
they will never materialize The
rural districts dominate the legisla
ture, and it is for their representatives
to pass the laws necessary to the se
curing of public highways that will bo
such the entire year round. The
old plck-and-shovel system must be
abolished, and tho making of perman
ent roads, in a systematic manner,
with foundations of rock and top
dressiag ef gravel and sand. rc
drained and solidly rolled, must take
its place. The money spent upon the
roads under the present system is
practically wasted, and no permanent
result is achieved. A collection of
road tax in money, with no personal
service whatever, to be spent by a
county superintendent who knows his
business and is held responsible for tho
results, would keep all roads in good
repair after they had once been prop
erly constructed. Portland Ore
gontan. 4-,
Varna Vote.
To make the farm most profitable,
everything must be turned to account.
In economizing manure it is quite
an item to adapt the feed supplied to
the crop.
Generally when everybody wants to
sell is a good time to buy, whether of
stock or products.
Generally the more valuable the
product the greater the drain upon
the fertility of the soil
With all classes of stock it takes
more time to mature a scrub than one
of the improved breeds.
Commercial fertilizers will give
quicker results than manure, but the
effects are not so lasting.
Clover is a most valuable plant for
green manuring and is also a valuable
fertilizer if used for pasture.
A patch of sowed corn, sorghum or
millet will often help out the hay crop
materially, as well as the pastures.
In many ways both in feeding and
selling the stock on the farm a good I
uveiy mat tne cnair wa-j destined to
revolutionize the whole domestic econ
omy of the civilized world.
It was indeed a wonder in its way.
for it was such a vast and complicated
mass of springs, pullej-s, clock-work
and extensions, that it was almost tho
labor of a lifetime to learn to operate
it with any fair degree of success The
concern was so big and heavy that it
had to be taken to pieces and carriod
through an ordinary doorway, a sec
tion at a time, and the price of it was
the snug little sum of $85; but this
made not a particle of difference.
Spilkins signed the order book.
A few weeks later the Mechanical
Wonder arrived, and after a hard half
day's work on the part of both agent
and purchaser, the new machine was
set up in the little back parlor; then
mo Muwuiaa iook nis aeparture. A
proud and happy' man was Mr. Spil
kins. The new chair took up about hall
of tho available space in tho tiny
apartment for it was a full-grown
and able-bodied chair; not one of theso
diminutive affairs too small for any
one but a little child to sit down in.
The centre-table was crowded back
into a corner, the stovo had to be set
back, the bookcase was tipped over
and pushed under the piano, and all
the other chairs except one or two
were banished to the attic But all
this signifies nothing. Wasn't tho
chair a Mechanical Wonder?
Accompanying it was a book of di
rections about as big as a double num
ber library, and this tho happy Mr.
apiiKins negan to study tho moment
tne door closed upon the man who set
up the vast machine of manifold use
fulness. At last he ventured to seat
himself in the contrivance, and touched
a spring.
Slowly and noiselessly the pulleys
revolved, and the chair gently ex
tended itself into a couch as soft and
inviting as tho downiest feather-bed.
Pressing another spring arrested its
motion, and yet another caused it to
resume its former position and appear
ance. Spilkins was delighted. The
new chair was a wonder indeed.
"Come and try it, my dear.' said
he to his wife with a good deal of
satisfaction. "I never saw anything
uko it anu I snail never rest easy till
I have mastered all its many secrots.
How did we ever keep house as lon
as we have without a Mechanical
Wonder?"
Of course Mrs. Spilkins was willing
enough to try the new chair, so she
seated herself in it without a particle
of objection. She had all the curiosi
ty of Mother Eve locateil somewhere
about her handsome yet ample propor
tions. Mrs. S. could scarcely be called
a dwarf without some impropriety.
'See. Julia, ' Spilkins went on. "I
just touch this spring and the chair
slowly and tenderly adjusts itseU into
the best of beds." And the Mechani
cal Wonder did just as he said.
Then I touch this other one and it
becomes firm and rigid in a horizontal
position." he continued; and the chair
did so.
Next I press this little button and
it resumes its upright position, " said
Mr. Spilkins. and as he faid. so he
did but the chair didn't
He must have pressed the wrong
button, for a most startling and unex
pected event took place. The otto
man end of the wonder flew up and
took Spilkins under the chin with a
violence that nearly dislocated hi
jaw. and did knock him heels over
head behind the stove, while the head
end of tho concern thumped the floor
like a piie-driver. Tho whole house
shook with tho concussion, for tho
chair itself weighed five hundred and
forty pounds and Mrs. Spilkins was no
fairy.
When Spilkins arose with a sheepish
face and an aching jaw a tarrible
sight met his eyes. The wife of his
bosom was very nearly the opposite
end up from what nature intended her
to be: and she couldn't very well
change her position because she had
accidently fired off the book-rest
arrangement and snapped it hard and
fast into position among her five and
a half feet She was about as firmly
fastened as if she had been made in
there.
Spilkins uiado another attempt to
find the right button, but he only
brought the lampstand down into his
wife's stomach with a force that near
ly smashed her whalebones and made
her grunt like an overfed hog. Spil
kins got rattled.
He yanked and pulled and twisted,
but he only made matters worse with
every trial. First the lap-board
flipped around and banged him with a
resounding whack. Then the door to
the chest of drawers flew open and
peeled the skin off Mrs. Spilkins' nose
for several inches.
She gave a desperate flourish of her
one kickable foot that knocked the
writing desk attachment to smither
eens, while the ink from its broken
bottle tripkled serenely up the wiggl
ing agent of its destruction. As she
felt that small but industrious stream
meandering her person, M.rs. S. grew
excited and called Spilkins several de
cidedly uncomplimentary names.
Then she besought him to get her out
again; and Spilkins tried once more
First he pulled on one end of her.
and then the other, until he nearly
tore his one big wife into two little
ones, but it was all in vain; there she
stuck; Spilkins desisted, mopped his
glowing countenance and then called
up the whole household.
They all tried, individually and col
lectively, to extricate Mrs. Spilkins
from net somewhat embarassing posi
tion, but they only succeeded in giv
ing themselves and her sundry severe
whacks in the most unexpected places
with different parts of the crazy gear
ing. Then they held a consultation
of war while Mrs. S. sobbed and
scolded by turns, and her face grew
red with the lurid slush of a boiling
lobster. Her position was far from
being a comfortable one
Then the book of directions was
picked up and consulted, but the more
they studied it the more confused they
grew. At last after they had made
every possible effort to rescue the suf
fering woman, some one cried.
-Send for young Mr. Hook, tho
inventor, who lives opposite."
The thought was like an inspiration,
and in a few minutes young Mr.
Hook was viewine the situation. He
inspected the mangled mass of millin
ery and mechanism, and then ad-
naniai1 tf fVtca af4Ab
He twitched and twisted, and pressed I
with. It was something of that sort
anyway.
Bring me a saw," said Spilkins in
despair. "I must either sacrifice a
mechanical wonder or a mortal one.
Bring me a saw." .
And the saw was brought Spilkins
rolled up his sleeves, spit on his
hands, grabbed the implement and
wont for the internal apparatus of the
Wonder with a will.
Ho worked away for sorao ten min
utes with desperation and the hand
saw; and by that time he had sawed
off about every pieco of wood in tho
whole concern, to say nothing of this
wife's fingers. But Mrs. Spilkins said
right their stilt Tho iron work held
her.
finally, as a last resort a machinist
was sent for. In due season he ap
peared with tools enough to manu
facture a locomotive. Ho grasped
the situation at once, as well as a
hammer and cold chisel and then he
also atttckod the Wonder.
After about fifteen minutes hard
pounding, Mrs. Spilkins was rescued
from the ruins without further dam
age, except that the hammer glanced
once and amputated ono of her big
toe-nails. Then the smith went home
and Mrs. S. to bed.
Slowly and laboriously Mr. Spilkins
and the chore boy carried oat the bat
tered fragments of the newly acquired
Wonder and packed them sadly away
in the loft of the carriage house. Then
a solem silence as of death settled
down upon tho mournful scene. Chi
cago Sun.
BECHER, JJEGGI & CO.,
REAL - ESTATE - LOANS - INSURANCE,
-A.n.d. "E3eal "Estate.
COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA.
to sni??E Y.TOtLOAN ON FARMS at lowest rates of interest, on short or ltnK limp, in amounts
BONDED ABSTRACTERS OF TITLE toallrenleatntein Platte county.
ti..5SE!v&tHELEAP1Ka INSURANCE C03UANlESot tho World. Onr farm policies flt
the most liberal in use. Losses adjnsted, and promptly inid at this office. gcieB at
notary Pnbhc always in office. .
Farm and city property for sale.
of FroS eCt,0n80ff0n?iKn inhcritanws w"l " atranirhip tickets to nml from nllpaits
" tungW-tf
-
The funny l!one.
Editor Keeley of the Madison Chroni
cle says that a dress-maker accidentally
left a needle in a dress she had made for
a Madison young lady. The next morn
ing after the dress was delivered a young
man bought the aid of a doctor to extract
a needle from hia hand, "so we are in
formed,"' Seelev savs.
Sceno Post-office; persona1, Old In
dian warrior and a mixed crowd; time,
storm; t hermometer, 2.) below zero. The
Old Warrior talks: "I want to get into
tho Sioux country and head enough
Indians to wipe out all the .white men on
theso plains, and here is the first man
I'll scalp -for feeding SSI) hay to a S4
horse," -and he wa3 overcome by his
feeling?.
.
The Cheerful idiot.- ''Do you know,"
said the Cheerful Idiot, "that it is the
easiest thing in tho world to tell whether
a man i.s going out on a journey or re
turning by tho way ho carries his valise?'
'T never thought of that." eaid the
youngest boarder. "What is tho differ
once?"'
Tho Cheerful Idiot settled himself a
little firmer in his chair and gloated for
a moment before answering.
"It is just this way." he went on.
"Wlifti h man is going away he carries
his valise toward the railroad station,
and when he is coming back he carries
it in the other direct ion." rndtaiuipohii
Journal.
him, and a lady next to him volunteered
her services. "Let me cut your steak
for you," she said, "if I can cut it the
way yon like it." she said, with some de
gree of doubt. "Thank you," the boy
responded, accepting her courtesy; "I
shall like it tho way you cut it, even if
you do not cut it tho way I like it."
San Francisco Argonaut.
One who draws a long bow somotimes
had just told a marvellous story, when
his listener quietly said that he believed
that, but if he would tell another just
like it, he wouldn't believe it.
Judge Hensley of the county court
camo hero from Kentucky many years
ago, sojourning a few months at Coun
cil Bluffs, Iowa. Of course, Iowa ways
were not like those of ICentnckv. in
many respects, and in several directions
they were the very opposite. Tho Judge
gives this ono instance, and his after
experience has led him to believe that
tho Iowa plan, (at least for some pur
poses) is the superior: He had been iu
Council Bluffs but a fow days, when in
a heated argument on a street corner he
overheard one man call another a liar.
In Kentucky tho blow in return would
have been instantly given, bnt not so,
hero, to the Judge's great amazement.
The only answer (and it was coolly
given) was: "I bet you ." you can't
provo it."
M. C. CASS IN,
rnoruiKTou or thk-
On Meat
Market
UVesh and
alt Meat.-
Game and Pish in Season.
fc-Highest market
Hides and Tallow.
prices paid for
THIRTEENTH ST.,
COLUMBUS. - - NEBRASKA.
ilaprtf
LOUIS SCHREIBER,
BmcKsmim ond Waoon Maker
ii
SELLS THK WIRING
eMer
hi
Mower.
XOTH'K OK SALE IXOKK CIIATTKL
MOKTIfAliE.
NOTICE 18 HEREBY GIVEN that bwiitno
if tho following described chattel inori
piKi' in favor of The Columbus State Bank of
ColumbuH, Nebraska, for Sl.iT0.fi7. tinted on the
Htli lny of February, 18X, and dnly tiled and
recorded in the office of the county clerk of
I'lalte county. Nebraska, on tho said Hth day of
February, lWtt, said mortae being ezecatctf by
L. Ciiristoffersen to the said, Tho Columbiw
State Rink, to t-ecuro the payment of the nm.-itmr
herein before f et forth and upon which eaid bum I
there id due nt tho first publication hereof Hie
amount of 1,272.79 to said Columbus State Bank.
Default having been made in the payment of
said sum of money and no suit or other pro-l
feedings at law havinc lieen instituted to
recover the taid debt or any part thereof, there-.
fore we will sell the property in t-aid mortgage j
described, viz" The general stock of merchand
ise, consisting principally of urocpries nmri. i
sions, glassware, stone, wooden aad ounsvare,
candies, country produco and sncli other mer
chandise nsnally keptfor eah? in grocery btore ,
also all store nnil tiBirat fnmitnra nnil Artiirv
including iron bnfe. ice-box and show cases, and COLL ?uilUS,
all contained in a one-story frame building
owned by Julius Basmussen and occupied by J
ram i j. nnsionersen on lot . piook .'., t omni
bus, Nebraska. Also one dark brown delivery
horte, one delivery wagon, two seta of harness,
one bucklioard and about M biles of hay, at
public auction, at the said store building on the
lith duji of March, 1H95,
commencing at 10 o'clock n. m. of said day, and
closing at 4 ocJ.ck p. m. of said day. Said sale
will lw continued from day to day between the
fame houn, until 6aid above descrilied pronerty
is all sold.
THE COLUMBIA STATE BANK.
2('fcM Mortgagee.
These are !erfeet machine, strong where
strength id needed. Every leier within easy
reach. "To he simple is to be great." Tho
binder has been reduced to a few simple pieces
weighing together only lt".0 pounds. See tho
Ueenng before you buy another.
Shop on Olivo Street, Columbus, Neb.,
four doom south of Borowiak's.
23majtf
D. T. M mitvn, 31. l. i . D. Evans. 31.
F. H.tiKEK, M. D.
D.
DOCTORS
MARTYN, EVANS & GEER,
CONSULTING
Physicians - and - Surgeons
To St. 3larj'B Hospital and St.
Francis Academy,
NEBRASKA.
vY
MJ r.cti;
I'latte coiii
liefore saiJ
braska, on
SHERIFF'S S
E OF AN ORDEirnF SALE di
to me from the dirt f if court of
braska.on a judgii-ntohtain.-d
ict court of tiatto)untv. V-
d day of DecembeL 1HU. in
H.
Tho nivosrity of running down a ru
mor is well known to newspaper people,
and sometimes the game is not worth
the oxponditr.ro of shoo leather, but
time ia valuable and cannot be wasted,
and so every thing must he worked up in
shape for the paper all is grist that
comes to t hia mill, and we cut no oizs
that wo cannot uso the chips, for kind
ling. Well, tho Second-hand dealer on
Eleventh street (an old man who has
acquired the title '"Uncle" in his busi
ness, and is known by everybody), was
reported to have been married last week
to a young Polish woman: we heard that
the boys about town had gono to sere
nade him on the event of his third
marriage, bnt had not found him and
his bride at home. The force of habit
to ascertain tho truth carried us Friday
direct to the store, whore we found the
old gentleman (who by the way is as
lively and talkative to friends as any
man of twmty-t;ve). busy :is usual, but
ready to knock olf a minute or two for a
chat. Wo didn't come direct Iv to the
main reason for our visit, bnt soon an
opportunity occurred,, when we spoke of
the rumor. "Yes, I've heard that same
thing now three times," he said, "and I
don't know how it could possibly have
originated unless from an incident here
last Wednesday. I was in tho rear of
the store when a lady entered tho front
door, and in tho darkness of tho dusty
daylight I could not distinguish her
face, but camo up towards her right
briskly. As I got near her she ejaen
lated: "Good morning, Uncle!" "Oh,"
I says, "you needn't uncle me, I have
that dodge played on me every day; I'm
used to it, you can't fool me and then
for the first time I noticed that it was
my niece, and we fell into each other's
arms and kissed, of course, and I sup
pose from that incident grew the rumor
that vou speak of."
A boy's appelite for advent tiro is so
strong that he will eagerly go hungry in
order to satisfy it. Galveston News.
Fifthly! believo in the moving spirit.
Do you know that sometimes I select my
text after T get in the pulpit'r "No, I
didn't know it, but I've thought so inanv
times." Atlanta Journal.
Korrin. Walter
n A. Norris, dew
minor lv ins
plaintiff's, and nga
id devisees of Ti
favor of NettL
JewHt L. Norri
Stewart B. N
Nettie B. Norris,
unKuown lieira
Olshausen. decease!, as defendants, for til
oi iour nnwireiH lorty and thirty
hundrrdlh dollar. (.:). and costn
5i"End accruinRcoiifc, I have levied iio:
luunwiKK inmis anujienemenis taken as
proper of said defendants, to satiefy
iudgmnt, to wit: I.Liree (8). in block
hnndrfd twenty-eight T 121) in the city of Col
bus, rftilhi county. Nebraska, and will offer th
same for lale to the higlest bidder, for cash in
nanii, i
Day of March, A. Ii. ;.
in front orlne west front loor of tha court
house, in tlulcityof CoIumlliSjJ'latte county,
Nebraska, th being the ImiVtiA,- wherein the
last term of efyirt was held, at tl hour of one
o'clock p. m. V said day, when .fid where due
attendance willV given by the uillersigned.
Dated. ColiltnhTrS. Nebraska, tlifc 2lth ilnv f
January, iv.. i
D.C.KAVAJHUGII.
:'.0jan."i Sheriff of Flat te County.
I2
ah
. Norrss.
ksed, and
fnar.Iian.
list the
wwlore
Wsum
iY ne
nil nt
titllH
lhe
slid
We
United States Examining Surgeons, Assistant
Surgeons Union I'acilie. O.. N. A B. II.Kailwajs.
in7", n. li f t utiaj. &t-JtiHluut? tif,
iv. iwiMuwKsnonn union raritii
ifie Depot.
Dr. CLARK'S INSTITUTE
run Tim tiiktmf.t or the
Drink Habit .
Also Tobacco, Morphine and
other Narcotic Habits.
GT-l'rir.ite treatment given if desired.
COLUMRU.S, - - NRBRASKA.
13airtf
UNDERTAKING !
MU Mi d.
lf.;al notice.
IE unknown heirs and devisees of Hester
.McCrory. .lames If. MeCrorv. Thnnifw
MclwIryT John McCrory and Wilson McCrorv.
leceiBed. defendants, will take notice, that on
the Z'M day of Febrnary, ls'.Ci. William Met 'rory,
plaint iT herein, filed his petition injho District
Court (If Flatte county, Nebraska, against said
defendants, the object and prayer of uhichare to
have the title to the east one-half of thcMiuih
wett ijuarter, (section 7. township 17, range I
eafct. in Flatte county, Nebraska, nuieted ami
confirmed in the plaintiff, and to have tho deed
to Jr.ines 11. McCrory for said real ettate dated
December 10th, 1H51. declared to convey no valid
title us against this plaintiff, and to have the
title to said land declared absolute in this plr.iu
tiff by limitation.
Yon are required to answer said petition On or
oeiore tne i:tn uay oi April. !&'.'..
Willi m McCnouv, Plaintiff,
By McAllister J: Cornelian, Attorneys.
i-feb-1
CABBY ALL KINDS OF
Burial (joods.
Do Embalming,
Conduct Funerals.
JSyilave the finest Hearse in the county.
FRED. W. HERRICK.
SrKSifef Columbus, Neb.
17Jan3m
W. A. McAllistkk.
W. M. COKNF.I.IFH.
JcALLISTER & CORNELIUS,
ATTOKXKVS AT LAW,
COT.UMIIL'S.
.tlj.ilitf
NKItltVSKA.
NOTICE TO BF.DEKJI.
To Heinhard and Freser:
YOU are hereby notified that on the Mhday
of June, 18!tt, the following described
premibes to-wit: Lots No. five (.") and 6ix (6) in
block No. seventy-sis (10) in the city of Colum
bus, county of Flatte, nnd state of Nebraska,
wero sold at private tax sale to Elizabeth Erb for
non-payment of delinquent taxes assessed and
levied against the same for tho jears 1S8I, 1SS0
nnd lttl. Haid lots were taxed in the names of
Heinhard and Freser, and the timeof redemption
of said lots from said eale will expire on the .Ith
day of June, llXi.
20-Feb-a Elizabeth Emu.
Collon-Seei
Mea
JLBERT 8c REEDER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
OHiceover Fir.-t National Rink,
COLUJIWH.
aijantf
NEBRASKA.
ARTY t ENGELMAN,
LKALKHS IS
nm AND SALT MEATS,
Eleventh Street. Columbus, Neb
-AT-
"I want a title for my new play," said
the author. "Something that will take,
you know." "Something that will take?"
"Yes." "Call it 'A Now York Police
man.'" Washington Star.
1-
, '
Fagan I oL thot full the other pay
day night thot Oi wint to shleep an the
step av th' dure, an' didn't wake nip till
th' goat began chewin' me phwiskers.
McBnde buro you can't blame him.
It was a hot loonch he was lukin' for.
Cincinnati Tribune.
y
if
Seedy Nobleman Are you nitre, dear
est, that you will always honor my noble
family? American Heiress Always.
And will you always love and cherish
my money? "While life lasts." "Then
let the wedding bells ring." N. Y.
Weekly.
A small boy was at a table where his
OEHLRICH Ml
SI .25 per Hundred
Pounds.
W. L. Douclas
93 SHOE
Best Thing for Milch Cows.
NEW DEPARTURE.
I HAVE CONCLUDED TO ENTEK INTO
contract to put out orchards, do til the
work, and have full charge of the same from
three to five years. I to run all rieka of losses.
IS THE BCST.
NOMUCAKIN&
And other pecUltlea for
Gentlemen, Ladief, Boys
and Misses are tad
Best in the World.
See descriptive advertise
ment wnlch appear ta thi
paper.
Tais no Substitute.
Insist on having V. L.
DOUGLAS' 6UOE9,
with name and price
umped on bottom. Sold by
GrRIFFElST fe GrRAY.
I6jan-5m
2loct3m
JOHN TANNAHILL.
THE ART AMATEUR.
i pair of scales can b used with prpHt. battens 8fi2 PJJUed stringi He ot bit J mother was not near to take care of
Bt aad f.argtt Practical Art Jfagszinr.
(The only Art Periodical awarded a Medal at the
World's Fair.)
Invaluable to all who winh to make their living
by art or to make their homes beautiful.
r fl R I til we W'H BnI to any one mentioning
vii ivhi ims publication a speci
men copy, with s-uperb color platea tfor
copying or framing) and 8 supplemen
tary paces of designs (regular price.
fcxy. ur ior
OC we will ndalBo"PaiUg for Be
Ub clMrs" (60 pages). fc
SOSTiODE MAKES, 23 Caloa Square, 3. T.
VSjsa-iamo
ntioning
10c
NEW SHORT LINE
SEATTLE
J. FRANCiS,Gen'l Pass'r Agent, 0MAKA, NEt,
.