A .c ohmim$ -s axLxml VOLUME XXV. NUMBER 37. COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1894. WHOLE NUMBER 1,285. ING OUT, WILD bells of Christ rrmQ rinvl - The festive season comes; "Set all hearts aing a carol gay, To trumpets and to drums! Here's to our old com panions gone, Here's to the com rades left; Peace be to those with anguish torn, And joy to those bereft! (Hoys, here's another matinee) King out, sweet bells of Christmas day! Ring out the feud 'twist Right and Wrong! Here's to the girl we love! We'll pledge her health in liiugh and song, All other healths above! Forever mny the curtain fall On jealousies and spites; In dreams alone may we recall Our unsuccessful nights. But, Jack, there is a matinee) Ring out, sweet bells of Christmas day I Vay joy attend the kindly hand, And bless the gentle heart! Mny winds of forttiuo still be bland, And luck no more depart! A glowing season unto all; The critics" lines- Imj mild; A Yule Tide blessing softly fnll On parents, wife and child! What though it bring a matinee' Ring out, sweet belis of Christmas day! MISTLETOE ON THE ALTAR. 1 CliriNtiua Church Drrnr.it inn Ie rlwil from Pagans. The .Saturnalia again furnish us with analogies to Christinas decorations, when houses were decked with laurels and evergreens; the Druids, too. carried cut iiiistletoc and laid it on their al tars. The custom was long preserved in the north of Kngland. ami at York the mistletoe used to be carried to the high altar of the cathedral, and a pub lic pardon was proclaimed at the gates of the city toward the four quarters of heaven. This, however, was not long used as a church decoration, on account of its connection with I'agan rites, anil is said only to have been employed for this purpose either by mistake or through ignorance. The most favorite evergreens for decorating churches were holh. bay. rosemary and laurel; ivy and cypress were eschewed because of their association with Kacchus and Death respectively: the most elaborate display of olden days could not be mentioned in the sunt1 breath with the artistic treatment which many churches receive at the present time. A C'liriHtniHi Itomiincr. I was an intimate friend of the Mor ion boys, and on the strength of that I was invited to spend Christinas with the family. Of course I went. I was desperately in love with May Ilor ton. but I had kept my secret well from the boys. There were hosts of relatives, a big dinner and plenty of fun after it. Mistletoe hung in tempting fashion from the gas "fixtures, and opportuni ties were not neglected. Dancing and merriment were at their height when I quietly made my way to a curtained "bay window, where I hoped to find the darling of my heart. In a dusky cor ner sat a dark little object, and for fear somebody would seek the lovers' hiding place 1 immcdiatel v commenced to pour forth my love. Twice she re pulsed me. Twice I drew her head down on my shoulder. Then suddenly she tore herself from me and shot out into the parlor like a comet, screaming at the top of her lungs: JM ' MbsSC ESS- -fcA "rw.Ks ji vy's spinster atnt. That good for nothing young ras cal. Sam Miller, asked me to marry him." That voice great heavens! "Twas Susan Frizzetty. May's spinster aunt. They all thought it was a good joke, and catching hold of both of us thev called young I 'arson l'cters and hade him tie the knot. 1 was beside myself for a moment, especially as Miss Susan seemed growing reconciled to the sit uation. With one spring 1 dashed over to May. who had entered the room and stotxl leaning on the mantelpiece, with a grave ltok in her eyes, and before them all I desperately cried: "May. I thought it was you. I love yon. Will you marry me?"' " Twas like a thunder clap, such a surprise. May said -Yes," bless her heart, and I led her forth blushing and smiling. Amid the congratulations of the older ones and the delighted yells of i the small fry. we became engaged beneath the mystic mistletoe; and later in the season Aunt Frizzetty danced at our wedding. Dora L. Jones. Tho festival of Tule rear." The German, the Scandinavian and other northern races used to keep, at the time of the winter solstice, a great festival known as "Yule peace," or the Twelve Nights. At this season the forces of nature personified by all Pa gan people were believed to be en gaped in a grand conflict. Gods, god desses, giants and ogres were strug gling together with desperate enmity, which ended only when Thor demol ished the castle of the ice king, and Frcija. goddess of spring, foreshadowed coming life, light and warmth. 014 mythology is filled with striking and j L-eautiful legends of this turning- point in iature. Arm Ill- . U 'if-V 3m MIGHTY NEAR TO CHRISTMAS. llAf f T-SGETTTXG CLOSE to Christmas ;across the hills and dell?, You can almost bear the chiming and the rhyming of the bells: But theskies are clear and candid, with no clouds that dream of snow, And you bear in dark and daylight all the elfin bugles blowlj It's getting close to Christmas : there's some thing in the air That seems to breathe of Bethlehem and all the glory there; And sweet the lells and bugles sound thro' our dreams of rest Ring, bells, your sweetest music, and bu gles blow your best! It's getting close to Christmas. Oh, time of peace and joy ! And oh, to lie once more. on more, a wakeful, watchful boy, With the stocking in the corner for old Santa Clans to fill; But we still thank God for Christmas, and we're lioys in memory still! GEORGE PLAYED HOOKEY. And Now lie trarm Thnt Kant Claus Will Hoycott Illm. deer cditur i am the most niisera blest boy wat is alive, lo the world 2 me is al a blank, on wensda i dident feel like gone 'l scool. an i nskid ma if i cood sta hoim. ma gave me her reglar lectur a bote i ortcr haiv a chance - go - scool an lern somethin. b cause when she wos a girl she dident haiv no chance '' lern. cass thay dident haiv no free seools then. n. b. but if nni 1 shud tel mar - day she donl no ani thing his payrents cood colect his in surance moui in time - maik erismus presents, but i maid up mi mind not 2 go 2 scool ani way. wats the mater with play in hookey, hay? I sed 2 mi self, coss if i sed it out loud ma wood here me. so wen scool time cum i tuk mi litel slait an went out. but i dident jo 2 scool. an i dident no ware to go. it was orful cold, i dident dare go in 2 the vilag an Ink in the erismus winders coss bing.s mite THIS IS MK ri.AVIN HOOKY. see me. so i cood onli go out hi the woods an wait I time 2 go hoim. i got so cold i most eride and mi face felt like it was froze, an how i wisht i hail gone 2 scool and not plade hooky. Ihen a man cum a long an wanted 2 no wat i was hangiu a round 4. en i sed i did ent no, an tho man sed i had better moiv on or he wood arrest me 4 a sus pichous ca meter, so i moved on. i kept on movin on till i cum near the scool. an wen i saw the boys comin out i started hoim. i rushed in the house like i always do wen i cum hoim frum seool an put mi slait on the table, ma luked at me knowin like, i got a merit in scool 2 da 4 bein gud, i sed. coss thay wossum thin inside of me wat kept sayin, gor gie. ma is on 2 u. she knows u aint been 2 scool. an then ma sed. u vnng raskil u no u wosent 2 scool 2 da. an i sed. ma du u want me 2 chop sum wood, an ma sed. no. but i want 2 no wy u dident go 2 scool 2 da. bil jon son wos here with a note frum the teeeher sayin that u wosent 2 scool. i dident no wat 2 say so i dident say ' notlun. but ma sed she wood fix me 4 playin hooky. She sed she was gone 2 tel sandy eloss not to give ani presents, wen pa cum hoim he wiped me. an wen i went to scool next da the teeeher wiped me. no, litel boys, don't pla hooky, it ain't no gud. coss u wont get no erismus presents an yure pa wil wiD u. gorgie THE YULE LOG. An Important Item of a Good Old Fash ioned Christmas. The Yule log. which has always been so important an item in celebrating a "good old fashioned Christmas," is dis tictly a Druidical survival, and has been held in honor ever since that far off time; its flames burned out all wrongs and quarrels, and it was used to heat the wassail which was drunk to the drowning of old feuds. At one time the Yule log. when half burnt, was always kept to light another at the next Christmas, and it was consid ered a safegard against fire during the year. Various strange superstitions were afloat concerning it: among others, it was thought very unlucky if a squint ing person, a bare footed man or a flat footed woman, entered the place in which the log was burning. History does not relate whether the exact shape of the feet had to be described on entering the room. Hit Holiday Discovery. "Are you going to hang up youi stocking?"' said Plodding Pete. 'Naw,'' said Meandering Mike. "It's already "tended to fur me.' "Whut je mean?" "See dat clothes line over there?" CertVy." Well, dere's a pairof stockin'sripu' there dat Santa Claus mus hev hung up fur me, cos" I kin see from here dat dey're jes my size. An' I'm goirf.er climb de fence an" take "em fur f:ar some onprincipled person "11 cme erlong when nobody's lookin an" sw pe 'em." Scriptural Charity. "I don't know so much about tic fatherless,"' mused Oldsport, refit c tively. "but I guess this Christmas se i sonisa good time 'tp. 'remember tie widow.' "' Having arrived at this decision, re went down town and ordered a dii -mend braocltt for her. m .,.-cl 3fc- i ,' "-.' r W io I CHRISTMAS IN EQYPT. K Christmas Breakfast and Dinner at a Greek Delmonico's. The following Christmas experi ence in Egypt is related by a riter in Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly. He was at the house of a Greek who was apparently not a Croesus, as the entire lurniture of his cafe consisted of a stone-and-mud fireplace in one cor ner, a palm-branch divan occupying the remainder of that side ot the ban queting hall, and a lot of rush mats on the earthen floor. I took the place of honor on the divan, says the writer, and soon the Arabs commenc ed dropping in and squatting on the floor. Our Copt had made so much noise that he had awakeiied the whole village. It was Christmas Eve, or, rather, morning, and I felt liberal, so I order ed coffee and mastic for the party, and kept the landlord busy until I had Tilled the wholelot a feat never before accomplished in Tel-el-Ilaroud. I be gan to feel hungry, and the land lord fished out from underthedivan, which also served as a chicken-coop, three squabs, which he killed, plucked, boil ed and served up on Arab bread. Tliis bread is baked of unbolted flour in round cakes, seven inches in diame ter. It is hollow like a doughnut, and of about thsconsistency of heavy bolting paper. After breakfast everybody went on a hunting expedition. After their re turn they all went for their bath, a change of clothes, and then to dinner and such a dinner! The bill of fare could scarcely be equalled at that season ol the year in this country; the little oysters from Alexandria Harbor, they weie first planted there by McKillop Pasha, who was admiral of the Egyptian fleet under Ismail Pasha, soup, fish from the Mediterranean, turkey, ham, ducks, snipe, fresh vegetables of every description, figs, grapes, ornn;e.s, ban anas and the flaming English plum pudding. The sparkling wine flowed as co piously as Nile water, and I wasabont to say as rapidly. The hunt was re hunted, and haps and mishaps, spiced with raillery and laughter. Then came pipes, songs and recitations, and the hot water with the Scotch whiskey. CHRISTMAS EVE. The children dreamed the whole night through Of stocking hung the hearh be-idc; And, bound to make each dream come true. Went Santa Gaus at Christmas-tide. Black stocking, red, brown, white and little, warm, or patched and thin The kindly Saint found on hi-, way. And smiling, popped his pre-ents in. But as he felt his hoard grow light, A tear-drop glistened in lii eye: "More children on this earth toni-lit, Than stars aic twinkling i:i the sky." Upon the white and frozen snow lie knelt, his empty bag beide "Some little socks uiu-t empty go. Ala!" aid he 'tUis Christina -tide. "Though I their stockings may not heap With gifts and toys and Christmas cheer, Thec little ones from sorrow keep. For each, dear Lord, to Thee is dear! Thou wert a little Child like them" 1 'rayed he "For w horn I would provide Long years ago in Bethlehem, Thai first and blessed Christmas tide! "As soothed Thee then Thy mother's kiss, And all her comfort, sweet and kind. So give them love,let they may miss The gilts I know not where to find.' "That sweetest gift, dear Lord, bestow On all the children lar ami wide; And give them hearts a pure as snow"' I'raycd Santa Clans -'at Christmas-tide!" Marguerite Merington, in The Ladie-' Home Journal. The Festivities Interrupted. S! n Jimmy, the eldest son (coniinn in unexpectedly). "Stop der music till I run down an' git der hook an" ladder company to take der t'ings oil der top branches. A Shrewd Father. "What did you get for Christmas, Jim?" asked a little shaver. "The watch and chain," was the proud reply. "Why, you got that for Thanksgiv ing." "Yes; but dad took it away from me the next day for breaking the win dow, and lie gave it back to me for Christmas." A Cood Reason Husband (hastily) Here comes .Miss Mullins. Eflie; put all your pres ents away. Wife No. I want her to see how gen erous you are. Husband But mo of them are things I gave her when I was engage I toherand got back when it was brok en off Munsevs. Wise Advise. Jeweler What words do you wish engraved in the ring, sir? Young Man "From Henry to Clara " Jeweler Take my advice, young ! man, find have it engraved simply "From Henry." Then, if vou yet it back, you can use it again next Christ- ! mas. " ' A Long-felt Want. Mrs. Grigs "What are you going to give your husband Christmas?"' Mrs. Grogs "A theatre outfit." j Mrs. Grigs For the land's sake, ! what's that?" Mrs. Grogs "A nursing-bottle, a package of cloves and a chain and padlock." Lowell Citizen jvtfrtC . "aaa. - -v --- w m1-" GIRLS THAT SKATE. THEY BELONG TO MA1MY DIF FERENT GOUNTRIES. And They Have Peculiarities .According to Their Nationality The Canadian Girl Bold and Fearless The Dutch Are Oulck. Some women on skates are some what like tho little girl who sported rt curl right in tho middle of hor foro nead. They look either "very, very good,"' or else they approximate quite closely to "horrid,"' says the Montreal News. It really must ha confessed that the skate, as she is now worn by the Xow York girl, is not always a success. But there are extenuating circumstances. The New York girl is, in fact, a composito cosmopolitan, says the New York Journal. Her njjui, iuui. muy Mtaiu us nur granu mother, a market woman of Holland, did. while her left foot may take the stroke of her Scandinavian grand father. Skating has been one of the rights of women ever since they used to strap long bones to their feet and push themselves over the ico with a pointed stick and particularly has been the inalienable privilege of a LMitcn nousewne. Skating in Holland, however, is not of a highly ornate order. This is be cause a prudent woman is hot dis posed to attempt the evolution of spirals and other ligures when she has a basket of fragile eggs upon her arm. But the Holland girl goes in for speed, in proof of which statement there is a story that onco upon a time two neighborly souls had a difference over the question of their respective skat ing abilities. Even tho Dutch tem per sometimes gets stirred, and the argument linally waxed exceedingly warm far warmer, in fact, than the weather, which was clutching all tho canals in a grip of ice. The two dames continued the dispute until a race was arranged. They were to skate thirty miles, and to the one cov ering the distance in the shorter time a prize was promised of the finest pair of skates in Amsterdam. The match came off. with great eclat and a largo attendance. Tho winning time was two hours, and if any girl in New Amsterdam can do better, let her show her record. Is it not quite likely that the familiar phrase. "It beats tho Dutch."' origin ated in this little episode? Now. as has iK'en said, the Dutch women skate because it is the quickest ' means of locomotion between their kitchens and the market. The Scan dinavian women skate because it is the most rapid way of paying calls. and tho liussiau women rarely skate i at all. The rivers in Russia How so ! swiftly that thev seldom freeze, and . oven in the cities most of the skating is done by the English and German, When a Russian woman docs skat. however, she can discount every other nationality in tho lieauty of her cos tume. Sho is not afraid of brilliant color effects, and she and her furs are inseparable. In England skating is an art, not an industry. The English girl is as ad dicted to open air exercise as her American cousin is to ice cream. She skates conscientiously, if not always with marvelous grace, and with her sisters raav be seen by the thousands ' on tho Serpentine and in Regent park, j Tho Canadian girl improves each j sinning hour of ice. but she often has to have her skating area dug out of the snow. A Canadian girl 7s a bold and fearless skater. She is not so stiff as an English girl nor so luxuri ous as a Russian. Sho wraps ui in tho warmest of woolen suits, and pulls a festive toboggan cap over her ears. There is a streak of French in her blood, which makes her don bright colors and which puts verve and dash into her style. There is the girl who knows that she can't skate, and also knows that every one else knows it, but doesn't care a continental. She is going to learn. She has no manly arm to lean upon, so she embraces large sections of atmosphere as she plunges boldly forward. One cannot help murmur ing. "What are the wild waves say ing?" as one watches the circles her arras describe. But, never mind, she will learn. And, speaking of the manly arm. there aro only two desirable positions with regard to a girl on skates. One is very close to her escort very close. A woman's respect for a man never reaches a higher altitude than it does when she is perched on a pair of wob bly skates. She is not only ready to fall on his neck, but she actually does it. She falls all over him, in fact. And the timid dependence with which the haughtiest girl clings to a man's strong right arm is ample reward for having that same arm pinched black and blue in the process. The other position is one of remote ness. One which absolutely removes her escort from the reach of her dutches and kicks resulting from her lost equilibrium. The Clam Does More Forward. The clam is commonly taken for an example of all that i- unprogressive. but he is by no means a stationary creature. Every man bred at the sea side knows how a clam left upon the sand will utterly disappear by sinking himself below the surface: but the clam also has a forward movement, and will travel thirty feet in the course of a week. The large muscle of the clam, which helps to make him indigestible, is hi- single leg. tind by the aid of this he makes his progress. Hi Own AfT.iir. Filkins Strange that Himan, who runs a matrimonial agency, the very man who should know letter, has made himself liable to prosecution for bigamy. Wilkins So I told him. but his answer was: Business is business." Puck. Iron-Tlppnl rile. In tho museum at Mavence. Ger many, there are several iron-tipped piles winch were used bv the Unmans 2,000 years ago in the construction of a bridge near that place. rnemnatlc I.'orso Collar. A pneumatic horse collar finds favor with many horsemen, and the animals themselves seem to appreciate it, as it adjusts itself to every motion of the DECEPTIVE APPEARANCES. To Look at no Wat Not Mfecli ( a Lawyer, tint Theri Said a gentleman who is Well ; acquainted in the mountain countries: "1 noticed in tho city a few days smco ah attorney ffdm an Eastern Oregon county whd eanld hero io appear be I foYe Judge Fee in chambers. He i wore a felt hat with no loss than five inches of-brim. His neckgear was by no . means such as would bo furnished by , a city outfitter. His coat was a miser ably pow fit, arid as for pantaloons, they were decidedly pictm'dsqtie. The) i bag in those pants hung out conspicu ously four dr fivo inches below the kneo and the dust of tho street was swept by tho lower edges trailing along behind him. The moustaches word by this attorney Were and, of course, aro vOt, such as to lend a particularly fiorcd ftppearahco to an otherwise unique) fi VCr passed along the uro. As the law- street toward the court houso, some one inquired who tho person was and was informed ho was a disciple Of Blackstone. I thought there was art amused expres sion Oil the inquirer's face. 'Now I wish ho could httvo gorto with mo to the lawyer's house in one of tho mountain towns. He would . have 1)een ro0(od )V tho afiv 0f the ho.s0 itl tho most .uUm,a manner. 1 Entertainment would have given evi 1 denco of the presence of refinement. A library would have lieen at tho vis itor's disposal composed of some of the rarest volumes extant. And those volumes would be found to Iks as familiar to my friend tho attorney as Mother Goose's melodies to the aver age person. In the mind of this attorney could be found a wonderful i store of valuable information: facts ' digested and with the meaning and , bearing on men and events extracted therefrom: in short, one of the most remarkable minds I have ever met. ! And then I would enjoy watching tho face of tho inquiring man as that ' attorney went before a jury and poured out a matchless and convinu ' ing eloquence. Educated HleraHy, trained in West Point military aead- emy and for years a captain in tho regular army, later thoroughly edu I cated in the law, that tall, peculiarly i aeeoutered lawyer would prove a most ' agreeable surprise to one who came in , contact witli his disciplined and well i tilled mind. The name of this person- age will occur to all meralers of the i bar. It is the same as the title to ono I of Sir Walter Scott's best known J novels.' East Oregonian. Mnllnt FHlilnff. Mullet fishing by night in tho Ches apeake is exciting sport. A small boat is used and a light is placed in the stern. When a school of the fish is sighted near shotv the boat is rapidly rowed toward them until they aro driven ashore. Once thev feel tha land beneath them thov begin to leap 'toward the light. Then tho boat is depressed on tho shoreward side, so jis to bring the other side high above the water. The consecinence is that many of tho fish leap into the boat and aro thus taken. Starta.l on a Currpr. Ono of the mo.st successful illustra tors for the humorous papers was once a bank clerk in Philadelphia. He used to amuse himsalf and his fel low clerks by caricaturing the custo- ,ncrs of tlie uank Somo of his friends nt length sent a few of his sketches to a humorous weekly of New York, and a cneex was promptly returned for the pictures. ThHt started tho illus trator on his career, and illnstrating soon after lwcame his sole occupation. HERE AND THERE. It takes a snail fourteen days and five hours to travel a in He. Charles Johnson, a 13-year-old negro preacher, is causing a sen a tion in Atlanta, Ga. Watts By the way, who was the patron saint of fishermen? Wiggles ' Dunno. It isn't Ananias, is it? The time is crming when, by methods already foreseen, we shall store and make use of the heat of the sun. It would take a man seventy year i to pass through Harvard college if he studied every course offered in the catalogue. There arc about ten Afro-American lawyers in New York, thirteen in Boston and more than twenty-five in Chicago. ; It has been estimated that it will i require eichty-five men working every I day until 1947 to unearth the entire , ruins of Pompeii. One of tho most popular clergymen in Birmingham, England, is a negro , Rev. Peter Stanford, pastor of the Wilberforce Memorial church. The report of Captain Pratr super intendent of the Carlisle Indian school, shows the attendance is GO?, of whom 35s. are boys and 244 girls. Forty-four tribes are represented. A socialist in Northampton, Eng land, recently notified the poor I guardians of the town that he was about to commit suicide, provided they would guarantee him a decent funeral. In the Forum Dr. George F. Shraly .says ihat Dimsdale, a prominent physician of London was calle I to vaccinate the Empress Catherine II. of Russia, in 1T2. .Tenner was then a lad of 1 1 years. Jeremiah Fisher has resigned his position in the Carver cotton r"n company of East Bridgewatcr, Mass.. on account of failing e3esight. He is ' 00 years of age, and made the first i gin ever manufactured in the works. Oronyatekha, a Mohawk Indian, who lives in Toronto, draws SlO.OuO a year as a supreme officer of the Order of Foresters in Canada, and has an income as a practicing physician. He looks 45, and is suspected of being over TO. Artificial whalebone is now being i made from leather, which is soaked i for two or three days in sulphate of potassium, slowly dried, subjected to a hivh temperature and then to a heavy pressure, which makes it hard j ana clastic The scientists of a European expe dition now in Ecuador have been making analyses of ashes which fell 150 miles away from Cotopaxi at the time of its last eruption. They nave found them to consist mainly of feld spar, quartz, raaquetite and secular iron ore. One sample yielded .silver at the rate of 200 grains to the ton. A WOMAN'S HEART. ONE DISEASE THAT BAFFLES THE PHYSICIAN. The Story of a Woman Whd Suffered fr Klae Years How She Was Cured. (From the N'ewark, Jf . J., Evening Xpws.) Valvular disease of the huart has always been considered incurable 'J he following interview, therefore, will interest tho medi cal profession since it describes the success1 fnlnae of a new treatment for this disease. The patient is Mrs. Geo. Archer of Clifton. N. J., and this publication by the News is the first mention made of the case by any newspaper. All physician consulted pro nounced the patient suffering with valvu lar disease of the heart, and treated her without the slightest relief. Mrs. Archer said: "I could not walk across the tloor; neither could I go up stairs without stop ping to let the pain in my chest and lott arm cease. I felt an awful constriction about my arm and chest as though I were tied wltn ropes. Then there was a terrible nolso at my rii;ht car, like the labored breathing of some great animal. I have often turned expecting to see some ereaturo at my side. "Last July," continued Mrs. Archer,"! Was at Springfield, Mass., visiting, and my mother showed me an account in the Springfield Examiner, telling of the won derful cure effected by the into ci Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. My mother urged me to try tho pills and on November 25 last I bought a box and began taking them, and I have taken them ever since, except for a short interval. Thu first box did not seem to lwnetit me, hut 1 persevered, encouraged by th requests of my relatives. After beginning on the sec ond box, to my wonder, the noise at my right car ceased entirely. I kept right on and the distress that I used to feel in my chest and arm giadually disappeared. The blood linn returned to my face, lips and ears, which were entirely devoid of color, and I feol well and strong aain. "Mv son, too, had been troubled with gastritis and I induced him to try the Pink Pills, with preat benefit. I feel that every body ought to know of my wonderful cure and I bless God that I have found some thing that has given me this great relief.' Dr. Williams' Pink I ills are now given to the public as an unfailing blood builder and nerve restorer, curing all forms of Weakness arising from a watery condition of the blood or shattered nerves, two fruit ful causes of most every ill that llesh is heir to. These pills aro also a stccitic for the troubles peculiar to females, such as suppressions, all forms of weakne-s.ehronic constipation, hearing down pains, etc , and ill the case of men will give speedy relief and effect a permanent euro in all cases arising from mental worry, overwork or ex cesses of whatever nature. The pills aro sold by all dealers, or will be scut jwstpaid on receipt of price, (50 cents a box, or o boxes for$2.."0 they are never sold in hulk, or by the 100) by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Schenectady, X. Y. The Kind or Fowl to KiiIfp. Select in the make-up of a fowl a bird that carries a large amount of meat if you want a bird for the table. To secure meat a peculiar configuration Is essential. A large, projecting crop is unnecessary, for some of the meat iest birdn look flat in the breast It is necessary to have the quartern ex tremely broad. If they round out, then so much the better, because there is meat carried upon the breast bone. A deep keel bone to the breast well lined with muscle should round out and feel on the bird very much as a duck does when he is dressed. Secure a bird witli a large thigh, because the thigh joint and the bone down through the leg carry a large amount of meat. Look out for a strong shoulder because the muscles that make the shoulder are the muscles that make their way in the market. A Brcad-and-Butter Miss, a novel b George Paston (Harper A- Brothers), is the story of an Eglish girl who, in the opening chapter, is introduced as barely seventeen years of age, the eldest daughter in a very poor but well-connected family, and certainly not a vain young person, for she blushes crimson with pride and gratification when her mother says to her: "You wouldn't be bad-looking if you were decently dressed, and 1 don't think you are de Void of common-sense, or I should't trust you alone in a modern country house." In the course of the agreeably and wittilj told story we find her placed in "a modern country-house' not alone, but among fashionable people, and exposed to temptations which fully justfTy the maternal solicitude. And Molnmen Stick to l'. "The word sugar," said Mr. Biflleby, "is often used in the plural. For exam ple, we see on a sign, 'Sugars and mo lasses;" but we never use molasses in that form, though there are various kinds and grades of it as there are of sugar. I suspect that our use of the plural is dictated to a considerable ex tent by a desire to make the best possi ble showing of everything. Tims "teas, coffees, sugars,' no doubt conveys in a general way an idea of a larger and more varied stock than tea, coffee and sugar would da But this effect would scarcely be produced by the plural af molasses. Whether it were right or wrong we should be more inclined to laugh at 'molasseses' and so, for the sake of euphony, if for no other season. we stick to just plain molasses.' New York Sun. In the character of Napoleon there was little room for the gentler passion, but Professor Sloane's Life of tiie Km peror, in The Century, brings out the one clement of love there was in It's early days his affection for Mile, du Colombier. That this could not have been very deep is shown by the fact that Napoleon himself laughed at it five years later. In his "Dialogue on Love" he says. "I, too, was once in love," and proceeds, after a few lines, to decry the sentiment a- "harmful to mankind a something from which God would do well to emancipate it. I.aily ISosHiorj X-f-UI:ic--. Some years ago an old Frenchwoman died in a poor part of Dublin, and her little effects were put up for auction. Among other odds and en-is was a neck lace of dirty looking green slones. which did not attract much attention. However, a shrewd pair of .lews thought there might be money ;n it" and de cided on purchasing, clubbing together !i for the purpose. On taking it to a well known jeweler he promptly offered il.."..0, which sum they refused, and sold the necklace f purest emeralds for 7,000 in London, where Lord iiosebery on his marriage purchased it for something like 20.00". The old Frenchwoman's mother had been attached to the court of France, and the emeralds had once formed part of the crown jewels. London Answers. The Evolution of the Country Club is discussed by Casper V. Whitney in the December number of Harper's Maga zine. "We Americans do nothing be halves," says Mr. Whitney. "Perhaps we should enjoy life more if we did: and the history of the countrv club, as much as anything else, rears witness to our tendency to superlative develop ment. From havinjr not a single country club in the entire Fnitcd States of America twenty-five years ago, we have in half that period evolved the handsomest in the world." The men not only hnvo to set 1 chind high hats at the theatre, ut they have to p.iv for them. TURNING THE JOKE. It Was a Good One. But the Ventrilo quist Didn't Itcpsat It. A ventriloquist had great fun on a New York olovated train lately, and at the same time put a train guard in danger of being attacked by a score of indignant passengers. Thon ho wu warned that ho had better loavo the car. It was a stormy night and tho train was crowded with passengers going down town. In tho roar car every seat wa? taken when tho train left tho tfinaty-third street station in Colum bus avenue. ' In ono of tho rear seats was a lien-cm who appeared to bo en joying a calm sleep. Just as tho train was approaching tho Seventy-second street station a voice at the forward door called out: Fifty-ninth street change cars for Ninth avenue." Tho vyice was clear and resonant. Every ono in tho car heard it. an un usual thing on elevated trains, as every on knows. A dozen passen gers who thought they had been car ried beyond their stations at Seventy secoild and Sixty-sixth streets hurried to the door, and as many more who wanted to change cars at Fifty-ninth street joined in the forward move ment. Passengers for Seventy-second and Sixty-sixth streets were angry lo calise they lxdieved they would have to go back in tho storm. As the head of the procession reached the door the train guard poked in his betid and called: Seventy-second st rect.' The train halted with a jerk which threw a half dozen passengers off their feet. There was a strugglo at the door ltetween those who wanted to get olf the train and those who didn't, and by the time the train moved forward there wero a dozen passengers angry enough to assault the conductor. What in thunder do 3-011 mean by this performance?" demanded one of them as he approached the conductor. Why did you call out Fifty-ninth street when the train was at Seventy second?" "But I didn't."' said the train guard. "Yes you did!" shouted tho angry passengers in chorus, and one big man put- him-elf in a position to at tack the guard. But I know ho didn't," piped a shrill voice just under the roof of tho car. Everyone looked up in astonish ment, and the amazement was in creased when a voice which seemed to come from Ivucath tho car tloor said, soothingly: "Calm yourselves, gentle men, calm yourselves. I called out the station!" The passengers, recognizing the sit uation, retreated to their seats and lM'gan looking around. The suspicion ltegan to fall upon the sleepy man in the rear corner. A big man the one. who wanted tc fight the train guard went over to him and said: "That was a lino joke, but don't you think you had lnjtter get off at the next station?"' Tho sleepy man left the car at Fifty-ninth street and took another train down town. riillatlnlplilw. It may almost Ik claimed," says Professor Wanvn P. Laird of the uni versity of Pennsylvania, "that Phila delphia is at once the most curious-, thu most typical and the most instruc tive of American cities curious be cause of the strange medley of its more pretentious buildings and their singularly eccentric individualism; typical of American practice in its broadest aspect, because of the al sence of restraint and defiance of precedent shown by the great ma jority of its architects: and instruc tive, ltecatise of its contrast, for no other American city has so wido a field of architectural error to offer in contrast to its works of real merit." About tho Hollar Mark. There are several theories to ac count for the origin of our dollar mark (). First Some say it is a combination or monogram composed of tho letters lT. and S., tho initials of the United States. J-ocond It may have been derived from "II. S.,"' the mark of tho Homan mon'y unit. Third It N probably a combina tion of I. an I S.. from Pesoduro, a Spanish term signifying "hard dollar."' A fourth rea-on assigned is that it is a "piece of eight," and designated by the svmbol s. ItrldgrlN AltrrriutUr. Mistress, Bridget, I must object tt, your extra vagan'". You sit hero in the kitchen, reading with two gas jets bla dng until 1 1 o'clo-k cvtvy night! Bridget -!l, ma'am, if you'd only let in" in'hcr'airi my gintleman frind ht-rt-t lire nights a wck I'd Iiavo as litt!.- is" for th gas as Miss Mabel do in the parlor on the night-, phwin she H-civcs til'; utTinti'n- o" that young 1 dude wi 1 tiie shkiinv le 'S an' tho ihvhite li'iir. Willing t (.iv Inform ition. t'ustomer -I'm a stranger in vour ' village. Can you te:l iiv where I 1 shall - Iik'i to find the "Autocrat of tlie Breakfast TabI-?"' I Clerk, in tii" countrv drag store ! Whv whv. 1 don't think thev keep it I .1 here, but they've got -omc first-rate I maelcr.-l at the store over there icrost tlr; roa I. I ";trii;r.j oi of .1 t.rr.w.ntr .Mind. I Tommv -Yo : say Dcs-mbar is the j hist month of the year. j;a? 1 Tonvny's i at her -Yes. ! To smy - Aii I Jairary is tho first? 1 Tomnr.'s rather Yes. certainly. 1 To.v.mv Well, how i it, then," that i I'pfcni'j-r always comos afore Janu- j ary.'- -Chicago Becord. t , A Fe.irful ICfttrihiition. I Miss Fanny -That hideous old Mr- Jones had the impudence to propose to III". Miss .Jennie You gave him tho mitten "J Mi- Fanny No. I did noL Just to punish him I accepted his offer. He is worth half a million. Texas Sift inga. J xc?p:io:n to the Itnle. He I suppose you can go anywhere on your bicycle? She No. indeed. He That's strange. I always heard that where there's a wheel there's a way. Texas .Sittings. THB OLD RELIABLE Cohmlms - State Bank 1 fW Iitemt n Tlmi lata ims 11 Real Estate, (fcMfca, OU4tA Hv Yrnrk tat afl IIIII ! 11-IAMIH : TICKETS. BUYS GOOD NOTES Aai Uatto Cartesian vhta tty Ntod HI OFFICERS AND niRECTOUS: Lbander Gkrrarp, Pres't, B. H. Henry, Vico Prest, M. Brugqer, Cashier. Jonx Stauffer. G. W. Hulst. L -OF- COLUMBUS, NEB., HAS AX Authorized Capital of - $500,000 Paid in Capital, - 90,000 OFF1CEIW. O. H. SHELDON. I'res't. D. P. II. OEIII.RIOII. Vice Pres. CLARK OKAY. Cashtor. DANIEL SCIIKAM. Ass't Cash DIKKCTOKS. H. M. Wii9T.ow, II. V. II. Or.ni.mcn. O. II. 8iiKi.no:, W. A. McAlli.steh, Jonas Weluu. Caul Uie.nkk. 8TOCKIIOLDEUS. B. C. Obat. Oeriiard Loses. Clark ('rav. Daniel ScintAM, J. Henry Wdrdeman, Henry Losekr. Uko. V. Oali.ky. A. !. It. Oeiimucii. J. V. IIecker Estate, Frank kohkr. Kebecca liKCKKK. Bank of deposit; Interest allowed on tlmo deposits; buy and sell exchange on Unltod States and huropr. and liuy and sell avail able securities. We shall ho pleased to re ceive your business. We solicit your pat ronage. -THE- First National Bank COLUKBOI, NEB. OITICEBS. A. ANDERSON. J. H. GALLEY. President. Vice Pros't. O. T. ROEN, Cashier. DIKEOTOR9. .lUMMOIf, . AHDHWOS. JAC019MIW5. HENBIRAUATZ. jams TmDi. SUtemeBt ef the CoRdltfoa at the Close r Bisiaeei Jaij 12, 1893. SZSOCBCE3. Loans and Discounts 9 241,407 5? Real Fstate Furnlturo and Fix tures 115,781 01 D. S. Honds 15,X) 0 Due from other banks $37,878 ai Cash on Hand 21.867 M S9.743 P3 Total ....f333.11 aj MABiLiros. Capital Stock paid 1b Surplus Fund Undivided profits Circulation ..................... deposits ............. xotai.... ...... ..I 60.000 00 .. .000 0) .. 4.57S 00 .. 13.500 00 .. 2!5.119 37 ..I333.1W 3G HENRY GASS, rnSTDERTAK'EIl ! Coffins : and : Metallic : Cases ! ty Repairing of all kinds of Uphol ttery Goods. J-tf COLTJMBC8. NEBRASKA, Columbus Journai IS FBXPARrD TO rCRNIsn ANYTHING bzqcireo or a PRINTING OFFICE, -WITH THX- OIIRCIA COUNTRY. ,