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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1891)
twy ,' ft?- tv ,; Z iSii ' 1 i . .. rs. . . r . Kin-, lire- ,jn i.$ ?Qhf, CURRENT NOTES. Mudok "I'd much rather a man called me a knave than a fool." Yab- gey "Of course. It's the truth that hurts." - Waiter "Very fine chicken that, sir." Guest "Yes. I wonder how it escaped being killed for such a long . time." "What is unselfishness?" asks a sub . scriber. .Unselfishness is one of the rarest qualities in the world to find in any .one else. "McGuire's father was an Irishman and his mother a German." 'Great heavens! What does he drink?" O, " he's an American anything." Mv mind to me a kingdom is," quoted the ostentatious young man, and the girl said: "I don't doubt it, And you are Barren of Thought in that kingdom.'' V Thkateb Manager "In my new play I'm going to have a tank of real water, .a real fire-engine, and a real patrol- - wagon. Can you suggest anything else?" Tomkid "Yes; you might try a real actor or two." Smart Customer "You fellers are makin' a heap o' souv'nir spoons, ain't . ye? Why don't yer git up souv'nir knives?" Jeweler "Well, people like to remember their spooning; it's differ . ent when they've been cut." ; ' "Do you think," said Ruthers' wife, that there ought to be so much for mality about calling?' "Xaw," said Kuthers earnestly. "If you're with the . people, all you've got to do is to shove in your chips." A Nineteenth- ward housewife whose bell had been rung by a sand peddler said to him in a tone of simulated as- ' tonishment: "Sand! why, of course not. There was a strawberry man just here a moment ago. How much sand do you . think a small family wants?" mm Baby was rick, we gave her Castor!, Wheasbe w Child, he cried for Cartoria, Waco she became Miss, she dune to Castoria, alhsfininrt'''r,"'t'"'l'nf',wia- Mb-'Hakiusox Parkman-, of Philadel- . phia, has sailed for Brazil with three ' . tons of baggage contained in sixty-three " . trunks. Mr. l'arkman is one of the her alds of reciprocity. He represents $8,000,000 of American manufacturing capital. Before his return to Philadel- . phia, fourteen months hence, lie will have visited the capital of every South American republic. He is the personal friend of James G. Blaine, and enjoys intimate acquaintance with the head of every government south of the isthmus of Panama. smsssm "dm II Pretty strong reasons for trying Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. In the first place, it cures your catarrh no matter how bad your case, or of how long standing. It doesn't simply palliate it cures. If you believe it, so much the better. There's nothing more to be said. You get it for 50 cents, from all druggists. But perhaps you won't be lieve it Then there's another reason for trying it Show that you can't be cured, and 'you'll get $500. It's a plain . business offer. The makers of Dr. Sage's Remedy will pay you that amount if they can't cure you. They know that they can you think that they can't If they're wrong, you get the cash. If you're wrong, you're rid of catarrh. CMoHf!S ONE ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant , and refreshing to the taste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup cf Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro- . duced, pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its , effects, prepared only from the most healthy ana agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it .to 'all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c and $1 bottles by all leading drug gists. ' Any reliable druggist who may not have it on band will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Bo not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYBUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO. CAL. iOuisviuE. n. mew roue. n.t. The Soap that Cleans Most is Lenox. l.lril aSaaVSSP-afSSSSm Br IJ I 4AmW&W9bBBBBBBBBBBBbbX A HUNDRED YEARS TO COME. BTHXBAX UUD BPEXCEB. Wfaere. wbera iriU be tne blrda that BlBft A hundred years to come? The flowers that now In beauty spring, A hundred years to come? The roay cheek. The lofty brow. The heart that beats So quickly now? Where, where will be our hopes and (ears. Jot's pleasant smiles and sorrow's tears. A hundred years to come? Who'll press for gold this crowded street, A hundred years to come? Who'll tread yon aisle with willing feet, A hundred years to coine? Pale trembling age And firry youth. And childhood with Its brow of truth; The rich, the poor, on land and sea Where will the mighty millions be A hundred years to come? We all within our graves will sleep, A hundred yearn to come ; No living soul for us will weep, A hundred years to come ; And others then Our lands wiU til!, And other men Our homes will fill. And other birds will slog as gay. And bright the sun shiue as to-day, A hundred years to come. BURIED ALIVE. BY GUT HE MAUPASSANT. The guests filed slowly into the great dining-hall of the hotel and sat down at their places. The waiters began their serving quite leisurely, in order to give the belated ones time to arrive and to save themselves the trouble of bringing back the dishes; the old bathers, the habitues, with whom the season was far advanced, kept an alert watch upon the door each time it was opened, hoping for the appearance of fresh faces. That is the chief distraction of watering-places. We go to dinner to inspect the daily arrivals, to wonder who they are, what they do, and what they think. A restless desire takes posses sion of us, a longing for pleasant adven tures, for friendiy acquaintances, for lovers, perhaps. In this elbow-to-elbow sort of life, our unknown neighbors as sume extreme importance. Curiosity is aroused, sympathy is on the alert, and the social instinct is active. We have hatreds for a week and friendships for a month; we view men with other eyes, through the special op tics of a watering-place acquaintance. Suddenly, during an hour's talk after dinner, under the trees in the park, where bubbles up a healing spring, we discover men of superior intelligence and surprising merit, and, a month later, we have completely forgotten these new friends, so charming at first sight There also, more quickly than any where else, are formed grave and last ing ties. We see each other every day, know each other very soon, and in the affection that springs up is mingled .something of the sweet abandon of old intimates. Later on tender recollec tions are cherished of the first hours of friendship, of the first communion in which the soul was brought to light, of the first looks that questioned and re sponded to the interrogatories and se cret thoughts the lips had not yet ut tered, of the first cordial confidence, and that charming sensation of opening one's heart to some one who also seems to lay bare his own to you. Then, too, the- very dullness, the monotony of days exactly alike, hourly renders more complete the unfolding of friendship's flower. That evening, then, as every evening, we awaited the entrance of unfamiliar faces. There came only two, but very strange ones, those of a man or a woman father and daughter. They reminded me at once of some of Edgar Foe's characters; and yet there was an attraction about them, an unpleasant attraction; I set them down as the victims of some fatality. The gentleman was very tall and spare, slightly bent, with hair quite white, too white for his still young countenance; there was in his carriage and about his person the serious air of austerity that bespeaks the Puritan. The daughter was, perhaps, about twenty-four or twenty-five years of age. She was small and emaciated, and her exceedingly pale face wore a languid, spiritless expression. We sometimes encounter people who appear too weak for the cares and demands of life, too feeble to move, to do the things we must do every day. This girl was pretty, with the transparent beauty of an apparition; she ate with extreme slowness, as if she were almost incap able of moving her arms. It was she undoubtedly who came for the benefit of the waters. They happened to be opposite me, on the other side of the table; and I immediately noticed that the father had a very singular nervous affliction. Whenever he was about to reach for anything, his hand, with a quick jerk, described a sort of fluttering zigzag be fore he was able to touch what he was after. In a few moments this motion annoyed me so much that I turned away my head in order not to see him. I also observed that the young girl kept a glove on her left hand while she ate. After dinner, I went out to take a turn in the park belonging to the water cure establishment. It extended to the little station of Auvergnc. Chatel Guyon, hidden in a gorge at the foot of a high mountain, from which run so many bubbling springs, hot from the deep furnace of old volcanoes. Over there, beyond us, the domes, extinct craters, raised their mutilated heads above the long chain. Chatel-Guyon begins the land of "Domes." Beyond the "Domes" are two other distinct regions, the one of needle-like peaks and the other of abrupt, precipit ous mountains. The Fuy de Dome is the highest of the craters, the Fie du Sancy the most elevated of the Peaks, and the Flonib du Cantal is the greatest of the last type of mountains. It was very warm that evening. I was walking bacc and forth in the shady path, listening to the music pour ing forth from the casino on a mound that overlooked the park. I perceived the father and daughter coining toward me with slow steps. I saluted them, as, in watering places, one salutes his hotel companions, the gentleman, stopping immediately, in quired of me: "Pardon me, sir, may I ask if ybn can direct us to a short walk, easy and pretty if possible?'' I offered to' conduct them myself to the valley ttroueh which the slender river flows a deep, narrow gorge be tween two great declivities, rocky and wooded. They accepted. And, naturally enough, we spoke of the virtue of the mineral waters. "Ah, yes," said he, "my dangater has a strange malady, the seat of which her physicians are unable to determine. She suffers from incomprehensible nervous symptoms. Sometimes they think her afflicted with heart disease, sometimes with liver complaint, and sometimes with spinal difficulty. At present they attribute to the stomach, which is the great motor and prime reg ulator of the body, this Frotens-like Sftalady of a thousand forms, a thousand Btodes of attack. That is why we are here. I am myself rather of the opinion that it is her nerves. In any case it is verysad." That reminded me immediately of the violent jerking of his hand, and I asked: "But is that not hereditary? Are not year own nerves a little affected? Tranquilly he answered. "Mine? Oh, no; I have always poa- verycalm serves." Then suddenly, after a pause, he re marked: "Ah, yes I Yon refer to the action of my hand whenever I reach for an ob ject? That is the result of a terrible shock I once had. Imagine, air, this child has been buried alive!" I could find nothing to say, except "Ah!" with emotion and surprise. He went on: "Here is the story. It is simple. Juliette had for some time seemed subject to disordered action of the heart We were sure she suffered from some disease of this organ and ex pected the worst "One day she was brought in life'es dead. She had fallen dead while walking in the garden. The physician issued a certificate of death. I watched beside her for a day and two nights. I myself placed her in the coffin, which J followed to the cemetery, where shjs was laid in the family vault It was in the country, in Loraine. '"I had wished that she should be' buried with her jewels, bracelets, neck laces, rings, all the presents that I had given her, and her first ball dress. "You can imagine the state of my heart on returning home She was aU I had, my wife having been dead for many years. Stunned and half mad, I shut myself alone in my room and fell into an arm-chair, almost senseless, un able to move. I was merely a wretched, breathing wreck. "My, old valet, Prosper, who had helped me place- Juliette in her coffin and lay her away for her last rest, en tered noiselessly and asked: " 'Monsieur, will you not eat some thing?' I shook my head, without speakng. "St persisted: "fltonsieur is wronar. This will make hilapL Would Monsieur like me' to puThimtobed?' "I answered: " 'No; let me alone.' "And he withdrew. "How many hours may have passed, I know not Oh! what anight! What a night ! It was cold ; my fire had burned out in the great fire-place; and the wind, a wintry gale, charged with icy frost, howling without and rapping at my windows with a peculiarly sinister sound. "Long hours rolled away. Isat there, wide-awake, prostrated and over whelmed; my eyes were open, but my body was nevertheless, dead, and my soul was engulfed in despair. Sud denly the great hall-bell rang out "I gave such a start that my chair creaked under me. The slow, solemn sound vibrated in the empty house. I looked to see the hour by the clock. It was 2 in the morning.' Who could be coming at such an honr? "And, abruptly, the bell rang twice again. The servants, certainly, would not dare to answer it I took a candle and descended. I was about to de mand: "'Who is there? "Then, ashamed of this weakness, I 'slowly drew back the heavy bolts. My heart throbbed ; 1 was afraid. I oponeu the door brusquely, and descried in the gloom a shape like a phantom, dressed in white. "I recoiled, impotent with anguish, and stammered: "'Who who who are your "A voice answered: "'It is I, father.' "It was my daughter. "Really, I thought myself mad; audi shrank away, retreating backward be- lore me spectre as u enierea, gesticu lating with my hand, as if to ward off the apparition. That gesture has never left me. "The phantom spoke again: "'Have no fear, papa: I was not dead. Some one has stolen my rings, and has cut off my finger; the blood began to flow, and that nas revived nte.' " And "1 observed, then, that she was covered with blood. "I fell on my knees, gasping, sobbing hysterically. '"As soon as I had partly recovered my senses, so dazed still that I hardly comprehended the terrible happiness that had come to me, I made her go up to my room and placed her in my arm chair: then I rang sharply for Prosper, that he might rekindle the fire, prepare a warm .drink for her, and summon a physician. "The man entered, gazed at my daughter, opened his month with a spasm of fright and. horror, then fell on his back, stark dead. "It was he who had opened the vault, who had mutilated and then abandoned my child for he could not efface the traces of his robbery; he had not even taken pains to place the coffin back in its case, certain, moreover, of not being suspected by me, who trusted him fully. "You see. monsieur, that we are very unfortunate people." He was silent Night had come on shrouding with its gloom the sad and solitary littte vale, and a kind of mysterious, dread seized me at finding myself alone with these uncanny beings this corpse come to life and this father with his appalling gestures. I could find nothing to say, but stam mfiTi'd "What a horrible thing r Then, after a while, I added: "Let us return ! The night has grown chill." And we walked back toward the hotel. Translated for the San Fran cisco Argonaut from the French. s Too Hwjr I tear. A young huntsman of Helena, Mont, was following the upper course of the Milk Kiver, and came suddenly face to face with a bear. He brought his rifle to his shoulder, took careful aim, and shot the bear dead. The next m:ti:ent a second .bear aopeared from a r-cky den. The young hunter again made a successful shot To his surprise a third bear came out of the den. He killed thin one also, and before he had time to move from the spot, bruin number four ap )eared. It was exciting sport, to be sure, but there were more bears than he cared to see at one time. However, he made a good shot, and bruin tumbled over, making four dead bear. While the huntsman- stood watching his game, a fifth bear, larger than any of the previous ones came nnt of the den and rushed forward. The yonng man fired, but missed; and before he could reload, the infuriated beast was upon him ! One blow of the huge paw sent the gun flying from bin grasp, but he quickly drew his hunting-knife, and wouuded bruin in the neck. Iu doing this he received a severe squeeze from the brnte, and a fearful bite on the shoulder. Then he lost consciousness. When he recovered his senses, his horse was between him and the bear. The horse was kicking viciously, and bruin was making but feeble resistance, and soon lumbered off into the brush. The hnjfer was badly shaken -up, and the wound in his shoulder was exceed ingly painful. With difficulty he mounted his horse, which was quite un hurt, and rode to a place of shelter a few miles further on, where his injuries received attention, and his game was secured. Youth's Companion, A Gaardiaa a the First Officer What was that noise over on your beat? Second Officer A man stole a watch from a little boy.- "Did yon arrext & man?" "Why, no, the pan was quiet enough; bat the boy made a great noise, so I ar rested himfprdutnrbuajkhajieaee," She Yon never hear of women cashiers embezzling or ranning off with their employer's money. He Not of ten ; bat when it does aappaa taaytaka tha employ er, too. ARTIFICIAL FOODS. Taw Kataral Artlel Uu Oaly Om Stely Om. Several years ago, when a French chemist succeeded in liquefying oxygen, speculation was rife as to the possible use to which the new substance could be put as a food. People who believed that there was such a thing as the "prin ciple of life," thought that it could be directly reached andsustained by taking "solid oxygen into the stomach, the sup position being that what could support life in one way could support -it in an other. If we breathe oxygen and it does us good, why should it not do us even more good when we take it in bulk, and let it reach the life principle by absorption through the tissues of the digestive apparatus? There was one .feet, however, which was not taken into consideration by the people who thought that at .last the true pabulum 'of life, of which the Rosicrucians and their successors had dreamed, had been found. In the stomach solidified oxygen would almost certainly act as a corrosive poison. Davy imagined that the prin ciple of life must be a gas, and on this notion the theory was built up that the more gas one can get into his body the more lively he is likely to be. The doctrine that there is such a thing as the principle of life except in connection with the living and organized matter, is now generally discarded, and the man who believes that ho can make an egg from which a chick can be hatched is, doubtless, a bold and original thinker, but in practice his work is likely to be of little value. Eggs come in the natural course of events, and can no more be manufactured artificially than a Frankenstein can make a real workingman. It is, of course, possible to simulate some of the products of na ture, in the way in which Italians are said to make blood oranges, by inject ing aniline colors under the rind of the common fruit; but oranges doctored in this way are the poorest possible of sub stitutes for the products, of unassisted nature. In itself the blood orange is not a particularly desirable addition to a meal, and when it is made artificially it is worse even than the original article. There have been chemists who have been so utterly lost to all ideas of pro priety that they have made and set be fore,their guests gelatines and galantines extracted and compounded from old boots and shoes, but nobody except the ingenious chemists themselves have ever been known to take kindly to this variety of food. What we want to get from nature is that which she herself produces in reasonable ways. The orange must be the product of the tree, aiid the delicate gelatine must come from the sources to which the primitive man used to look for it when he boiled the bones and sinews of the lower ani mals that ranged the forests of primor dial times. In short, though there are many ways in which man can manipul ate for his own purposes even the refuse of nature, there is little or nothing that he can do in the way of improving na tural products. The egg of the heu must come directly from the nest, and not be cunningly contrived in the laboratory. The apple and the orange have only one proper way of coming into existence, and that is the way in which they have always grown. "Special creations" of this sort are works for the production of which we must look to a higher power than that of man. American Jpnaly&t. Rubbed Oat. During the Rosso-Turkish War, while Mr. Irving Montagu was in Turkey as war artist of the Illustrated London Xeics, he was one day attracted by the strikingly characteristic features of one of his iraards. Having bis note-book: in his hand, he jotted down a sketciVof the face. Before it was finished the man looked up and saw what was going on At once such an expression of horror and revenge passed over his counten ance that Mr. Montagu was, as he says, thrilled by it "The fellow's manner became rapidly sullen and morose; nay more, utterly wretched, writes the correspondent "If he supposed me possessed of the evil eye, surely he was possessed of two of the most malignant orbs which ever protruded from human cranium. "Thinsrs went on in this mysterious way till 1 asked one of my comrades if he could throw any light upon tne mat ter, when he explained that, in that superstitious country, to have one's features reproduced in any way was a sum of impending death. "The whole thing was explained in a moment Death, of whom I was the agent had, to all intents and purposes, set his seal upon my unfortunate fol lower, a condition of affairs truly terri ble to contemplate, 'Melancholy had marked him for her own.' "However, there was no help for it; the thing was done, though his settled gloom affected us all not a little, and no explanation seemed likely to break the spell which hung over him. The man's moroseness was becoming almost insufferable, when Mr. Montagu was suddenly "inspired with a bright idea," He 'called the fellow, and ex- plained to him that he had a magic an tidote to the lines of the fateful pencil. With it the man himself could blot ont the pencil's work forever, and so break the fatal spelL "The effect was marvelous; the man's . face lighted up with inexpressible de light At first betook hold of the India rubber with the tips of his fingers in the tenderest possible manner, but on realizing its miraculous qualities, he rubbed literally for dear life. "Born and bred in a remote part of Anatolia, Suleiman had never even heard of India rubber. The picture was rubbed out He smiled again, and so did we. What a rrelcht-sf aster DM. An engine bumped against some emp ty cars in the early dawn of a winter morning. A boy who had been asleep in one of them was thrown, dazed and bewildered, against the door, which he had pulled to when he crawled into the car the night before. Just then a brakeman thrust his head into the car. and reached for his jacket which he supposed was hanging where he left it He was somewhat surprised to find a boy on it, and took it from him without ceremony. "Now get out of here!" he said. thrusting the boy from the door. "H I catch you in one of these cars again, I'll give you to a policeman ! "What's he been up to, BUI?" said a man who was putting freight into the next car. "Up to my coat," he said, giving it a vigorous shake as he walked off. The boy looked dirty and dejected, as he limped along by the side of the track. The man who had spoken called alter nun: "Hhllo, there ! Do yon want a job?" The boy turned back quickly. "If you'll help me load' them firkins. Ill pay you for it; but you'll have to The prospect of a little money brightened the boy, and he set to work in earnest though- he was stiff and cramped andhungry. "Do yon live round here?" asked the The boy shook his head. "In case we should want to hire a boy about your size, can yoa give me aay recommendation as to your character?" The boy's face flushed, but he made bo answer. The man watched him nar rowly, and when the car was loaded, aanded him 25 cents, saying: "We short of Bands in the rreight-roosa, yon think you d like the jobr "Xes,l would Uke VSJ face was almost painful in its eagerness as he followed the man to the freight room. "Now," said the freight-man, seating himself on a box, "we'll have a -bit of talk before we get to business. I don't know anvthing about you, except that yoa're cold and hungry; you look that. But I think it is likely that you ve got in some scrape, for if yon hadn't you wouldn't be loafing about stations and sleeping in freight ears. Fm not going to ask you if you have done anything wrong, bnt I am going to ask if you've got a mother." "No; she's dead." "Got any father or folks that belong to you?" "I've an uncle and some cousins." "Well, now, if you had a mother, Fd send you to her in no time, for there is nothing that a mother won't forgive; but uncles and cousins are different "If I recommend you at the office, they'll take you; but mind, if I do it, Fm going to watch you as a cat does a mouse. You'll have to spend your evenings snd Sundays with me. "I went wrong myself when I was no older than yon are," lowering his voice. "Au'if it hadn't been for my mother Well, that was a long time ago. You've got switched upon the wrong track I am very sure, and as you haven't any mother to help yon get on the right one, God helpin' me, I'll do it if you'll let ma "Preachin' isn't in my line, but there's just one thing yon don't want to forget, and that is the good Father is giviug you a chance now to get back where yon can do right and feel right Are you going to take it?" The boy answered faintly that he would try. He was taken into the freight-yard, aud was under his new friend's eye constantly, and it was not long before the - man had so won his confidence that he told him his. story. There was trouble and dishonesty con nected with it but for two years the lad proved himself faithful and trustworthy in his new occupation. He was then ad vanced to a more responsible position, but there was something almost pa thetic in his devotion to the man who had befriended him, and in this respect for the religion he professed. . Here was practical Christianity, worthy any man's emulation. Youth's Companion. Aa Kxpresa MmuwinEer'a Grit. "While we are talking of faithful ness," Colonel, "I may mention Ned Banks, an express messenger on the Kansas Pacific a good many years ago. I had often met Ned and found him a jolly good follow and one who was capa ble of making friends. I flattered my self that I was one of his friends. "I was on his train once when we had a wreck. It was clearly the work of train wreckers. The fi:st two cars were practically knocked to kindling wood. Banks had a lot of money in hi car a big lot of it 'I knew it aud ran forward to help him in case any efforts were made in the excitement to steil his treasure. I found him sitting in hi wrecked car, white of face, but holding a six-Bhooter in one hand while a riHe rested across his knees. " 'All right Ned!' I cried to him. Til be with yon in a minute.' " 'Hold up, said Ned. 'You musn't come in here.' " 'Well, I'm coming anyway, old man,' I answered climbing over some shat tered timbers. " 'Hold up. Colonel,' said Ned, level ing his six-shooter at me. 'If you come a step nearer I'll kill you.' " 'For heaven's sake be reasonable, Ned,' I cried impatiently; 'you're hurt, you're bleeding. Let me get you out of this.' " 'No, sir,' said Ned, 'Look out, he ad$ed threateningly, 'I'll shoot as sure as I am Ned Banks.' " 'But you don't think, do you, that I am trying to rob you? " 'Idon't know" anything about that, Colonel. I only know that my boxes are in danger, and I am going to take care of them. You can go out; send the conductor and brakeman here, bnt you can't come in.' "That settled it I saw that he meant what he said, and went off to find the trainmen. "Now would you believe it, when they got him out he fainted dead away. He had his leg crushed and three ribs broken, but he stuck to his boxe. "I believe his companv did the hand some thing for him. He was trans ferred to another railroad and ran on it for about three years. One night his train leaped like a thunderbolt into another, running in the opposite di rection. When they got in to the wreck age, they found Ned, stone dead, among his boxes. He had been instantly killed." New York Tribune. He Was the Man. As a peddler of rags was passing a house on Joy street a woman opened the door and called to him: "You man, there say." He halted and looked at her and saw the grim determination in her eye. "Ain't you the same young feller that sold me a rug las' spring?" He was, but something in her voice made him forget to tell the truth. "No'm. this is a new root for me. That mus have been Soapy Jim. He's ont of the bis'ness now." "I reckoned it was you," persisted the woman; "think a spell. It was a red and ysller rug with a green border, and I paid for it once a week for two months. 1 do believe you're the same yonng feller." "Never was in this part of the town afore, ma'am," vowed the man. "Is that so?. Well, if you'd a been the same man Iwasgoin' to buy another rug for myself and one for my sister who is going to Dakoty, dut I wouldn't want to deal with a stranger. Excuse me for doubtinryour word, but you do favor that young man amazingly.- I see now yon ain't him." She went in and shut the door, and he knew that he had made the mistake of a lifetime. .Free Frpss. Tbe Loom's rilght Under Mater. A writer on the loon says the bird's wings are more than wings uuderwater, and that it moves with marvelous speed. Describing the pursuit of a loon by a sportsman, it is said: "Seeing it was being pursued and no mistake, it dived quickly, and when it came up again had gone many times as far as the boat In the same space of time. Then it dived again, and distanced it pursuer so easily that he gave up the chase and rested upon his oars. But the bird made a final plunge, and when it emerged upon the surface again it was over a mile away. Its course must have been, and doubtless was, an actual flight under water, and half as fast as the crow flies in the sir." t Pastime. After a man has made a certain amount of money, he begins to pay par ticular attention to his stomach and the good things of this life. He has a mushroom cellar, raises his ownoel-. ery, and invents drinks that are famous for the speed with which they will ' go to the head. It is different with a woman. When she has all the money she wants, she takes up religion and charity, for her pastime. Atchison Glob "If yoa want to be in the swim, bay a handsome silver urn, and make a pro vision in yoar will that when yon die, your ashes are to be sealed ia it and given to your best friend. Don't give them to a very thrifty woman. She will probably use them to scour her silver with. A thrifty woman has little respect for anything sacred when scour ing if to ba done and ashes ara abort.-' ODDS AND ENDS. Tub dull season on the great lakes has forced rates down to an unprece dented level. Wheat is now carried from Chicago to Buffalo, 800 miles by water and 500 in an air line, for one cent a bushel, while the lighter grains are proportionately lower. For cheap transportation this is probably without a parallel. While tearing down the walls of an old bouse in the village of Deutsch Redingen, near the Luxembourg boun dary, the workmen found the corpses of a German officer and a private in full uniform. The bodies were wonderfully well preserved. It is supposed the men were murdered during the Franco Prussian war. Says a correspondent of the Boston Trtmscript: "Henry Ware, Jr., of Cam bridge, once told me a story of a young man in the ministry who, in conversa tion with one of the elders in the faith, allowed that he did not believe in the devil. 'Not believe in the devil!' said the elder; 'why you are an atheist.' Now, if in addition to the regular three persons in the Godhead we are to have a fourth person, I, for my part, greatly prefer the Viigin Mary to the devil. But perhaps it is because I am a man. Mother Eve, we know, preferred the devil." "Dlaaer for Two. Appetite lor Oael" Said a dyspeptic to tbe waiter, ordering for self Hid friend. And, suppose he nad bad an ap petite, it would have agonized him, subsequent 'y, to gratify it- OI the abominable pangs that tTcn a little meal causes the confirmed victim 3f indigestion. Purgatory on earth no lost. Altogether unnecessary, though. Begin at once, lyntematically, a course of Hostettsr's Stomach Bitters, ye unfortunates with refractory stom achs. In saying this we merely echo the ie :ordcd experience of thousands who have used tbe great stomachic to their lasting bsneSt. For tbe inaction of a sluggish Uver, and foe ardy or irregular action of the bowels, both eery apt to accompany dyspepsia, this fine reg alator is equally efficient. Malarial complaints, iidney trouble, rheumatism, and neuralgia de oart when a resort is had to the Blttera. The late Sir John A. Macdonald. premier of Canada, was a man tall and lithe in figure, slightly stooped, smooth shaven face, corrogated like a glacier scarred rock by a network of scams aud wrinkles, wherein the most opposite emotions played hide-and-seek with one another according to the mood of the moment; bright bird-like eyes, observant of everything around, and a quick, gliding step, whose jaunty grace the burden of years had not yet impaired such were the premier's most striking physical characteristics. As one watched him through the weary mouths of a par liamentary session, always alert, active and prepared for whatever might turn up, charming to his supporters and courteous to his opponents, speaking often but never unnecessarily or at too great length, guiding and controlling the legislative machine with the same mas terful case as the captain of an ocean steamer rules his marine microcosm, one would cease to wonder that interest should develop into admiration and ad miration into adoration, as it did with so many of his followers. He was not perhaps the greatest orator in the house, but lie was unquestionably the greatest debater. A. M. PRIEST, Druggist. Shelbyville, Ind.. says: "Hall's Catarrh Cure gives the best of satisfaction. Can get plenty of testimonials, us it cures everyone who takes it." Druggists sell it, 75c. Parxell, if one may believe the Bos ton Olobc"8 correspondent, loved and sought in marriage a Providence girl twenty years ago: but her stern father, a millionaire by the way, would not ap prove of the match, as tlio suitor was without a calling. The Irishman's affec tion was reciprocated, and the separa tion brought sorrow to two hearts. The story of the heir to the British throne traveling about his future king dom with a gambling lay-out as an im portant part of his personal baggage is proof positive to the majority of Ameri can readers that the British monarchy is in a bad way and that we did not get out from under it any too soon for the good of our moral character. Best, easiest to nse and cheapest. PIso's Bemedy for Catarrh. By druggists. 50c The hottest region on earth is on the southwestern coast of Persia, where Persia borders tbe gulf of the same name. For forty consecutive days dur ing the months of July and August the thermometer has been found not to fall lower than 100 degrees Fahrenheit night or day. What a pity it is that Mr. Depew, the eminent New Yorker, had to travel alj tiie way to Galena. III., to find a Grant monument to fit his speech. Beecham's Piixs cure Sick-Headache. They tell the story of the colored preacher who, speaking from the text, "Is there no balm in Gilcad," read it, "There is no bum in Gilead," and made a sermon on the absence from Gilead of tramps and men who borrow quarters of you and forget to pay them back. . FITS. an m stoppea free by Dr.KUae's Great Ken Restorer. No Fits alter nnt day's us. Mn velioiw cure. Treatise snd flSB trial bottle tree to Pitcasoe. Sea to Dr. KUaa.sU Arab Ht Palle. Pa P euma PROMPTLY CUMD BY Cures Also:! Neuralgia. Lumbago, 8ciaticav 8praln89 Bruises,! Burns, Wounds, Swellings, Soreness, Frost-bites, 8tiffness, All Aches. THE Chas. A. Yogaler Gbl, Balttasore, Md. Th Soft Clow off Tho TEA HOSE ! Aoqulred byLadlM Who Uoo izzoNrs MEDICATED IMPLEXK thy it. sold ifiirywmm. r.lifc bUh 6 nlloi. Itelicwus. pvkliBC '" M bj Il mler. A ullrl rirtur. BmI iv 1 CartJ 2" Vs,avlfTC?.cSfi: Am. ttlil. Ill nn.UMtlll IKNwIUIlVsaalart-, .C 1 3?rtttlart w. lSKUudlcaUngclaiau. atty iaee. am m saissiasjsa-jamniartra PATEMTyjg mactrassd Baa Beok free. ClaUE m COL. MJ.V. rutiaiile4. CIm for iacrcaae. wiau. Write far Eawa. A.W.M1 Ssawae, Wiuuanui! at. v " w) 8. . N. V, eVJ m asm nmim?m MKMHani . Syeaiaex- eCeaaucx HMMA, V. ItsxSS-! PvwerTal MesUela Eviaeatl j Xe4e. "Georgia melons," observed the phy sician, rapidly mixing the proper remedy, "are generally wholesome, my boy, but you must not eat them too freely at the beginning of the season." "This must have been a home-groau melon, doctor," wailed the unhappy boy lying doubled up on the lounge. Twt Sweet to Sour. '"And you think I will never tice of you, George? Never cease to regard you with affection?" "You never will. You are altogether too sweet to sour on me." She smiled, blushed, cast down her eyes and the kiss he had been begging for was granted. New York Press. "Oxa to-day Is worth ten to-morrows." Asplendid rule for housekeepers to work br especially it they use SAPOLIO. Tostpone anything before cleanliness. All Pleased Except the Baby, An Atchison man recently woke his first baby up to show an admiring vis itor the color of his eyes, and it took his wife three hours to get it to sleep again. But. like a woman, she was so pleased to think her husband was interested in the baby that she never complained. When He Would Fight. Yabsley There's no need of lighting in this age of the world. If a man should call me a liar I would simply look down upon him with pity. Mudge If he was small enough for, me to look down upon, I thinlPl should hit him in the neck once, anyhow. Indianapolis. Journal. Ir afflicted with Sore Eyes, nse Dr. Isaae Thompson's Era Water. Druggists soU it. 25c M. Eiffel, the daring civil engineer who conceived the tower in Paris which bears his name, lives on the Jungfrau, in the Swiss Alps. He has just obtained permission to build a railroad up the mountain to his very dwelling. According to the census Philadelphia is the greatest manufacturing city of the union, leading all other cities in the value of its products by 58,000,000. A Good Appetite There is nothing- for which we recommend Hood Ssrssparilla with greater confldenca than for Iosj of appetite. indlKesUon, sick hoadache and other troubles of dyrpepUc nature. In tbe most natural war this medicine Kcntljr tones tbe stomach. and makes one feel "real hungry." Ladies ia Delicate Health, orrery dainty and particular at meakt, alter taking Hood's Harsa parilla a few day, find themselves longing for and eating the plainest food with unexpected reUh snd saUsfacUon. Try it. Hood's 8arsaparilla Fold by all druggists. l:UfnrJ. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD CO. Lowell. Mass. too Doses One Dollar Tutt's Pills able the dyspeptic mm.'mhaUlT. wlahea. They causae Mm food toasslaUlate a Bearish the body, give appetite, and DEVELOP FLESH. 39 41 Park Place. New lera. WITOMAN.HER DISEASES AND THEIR VT Treatment. A valuable illustrated book ot R paces sent tree, on receipt of I0cen:'.to cover cost ot mailing, etc. Address P.O. Uox 1W. nila. fa- Bgf&MS wm- WORTH A GUINEA A BOX." For BILIOUS & NERVOUS DISOROERS Such as Wind and Pain in the Stomach. Fullness end Swelling after Meals. Dizziness, and Drowsiness. Cold Chills. Flashings of Meat. Loss of Mf petite. Shortness of Breath, Costiveness, Scurvy, Blotches on the Skin, Disturbed Sleep, Frightful Dreams, and all Nervous and Trembling Sensations, Be. THE FIRST DOSC WILL CIVE RELIEF IN TWENTY MINUTES. BEECH AU'S PIUS TAKEK AS DIRECTED RESTORE FEMALES TO COMPLETE HEA'TH. For Sick Headache, Weak Stomach, Impaired Digestion, Constipation, Disordered Liver, etc., hy ACT Llf MAQIC, Strengthening the muscular System, restoring ionc-lfHt Oost plexlon. bringing back: the keen tUge of appetite, ami arousing with iho ROSEBUD OF HEALTH tho whole physical energy or tho human framo. One ot tho bent guarantees to the Kervous and Debilitated is that BEECHAM'S PILLS HAVE THE LARGEST SALE OF. ANY PROPRIETARY llEDICINE IN THE WORLD. rnaans ami- ky TIKtM. VCCCUAN. Ml. Helena, s.aneaaBir. xaainaa. JMdey DruagttnfHrrnlhj. B. F. ALLEN CO.. 365 and 367 Canal St. New YorlL Sol Arentsfnr the United State. k-Ao (if - unitfmtiloea not keep tliem) WM.I. MAIL. UKKUIIAM'S 1ILJ.S oa KtUKllT of fKICK.'icts. A HU.. (MENTION THIS f AFCa BHRGHINS PRINTING MATERIAL r Consisting of Type, Cases, Stands, Cylinder Presses, Job Presses, Hand Presses, Paper. Cutters, etc. The Largest Stock to be found, west of Chicago. All in good condition. Complete Outfits furnished upon Short Notice:'" Estimates and lists furnished upon application; Address or call upon SIOUX CITY TYPE FOUNDRY, 212 Pearl Street, Sioux City, Iowa. a a a aaa. -..,.,.. -... , .... - . j "Jhmay beh-ue whai-some men soy. ; ii iiiouii uon ucjjv Public endorses. 1 is & solid c&ke ol COVHlNT4 For many years SAPOLIO has stood as the finest and best article of this kind in the world. It knows no equal, and, although it costs a trifle more its durability makes it oudast two cakes of cheap makes. It is therefore- the cheapest in the end. Any grocer will supply it at . a . reasonable price. jM yell miiiniin safety IterMichiMjMtniUlM Diamond Frarre. Ste' ing. Adjustable Ball including Pedals rial money can buy. STRICTLY HIGH c-. .- -a. i- Mefcto 'FREE. mWWW'BW ssCVIl:! P. LOVELL ARMS CO., MfrS., M7 Wuhlngtsa Stretf, ROSTOV MASS. PISO'S REMEDY FOR CATARBH. Cheapest. Relief Is limeillitf A Cold la tae Head It has do equaL It is an Olntasent. of which a a Mill Price, Me. .SoM by drmftMerstmt by .wSl aimrm. :t. German Syrup" "Westfwsixmtaav AFsrmsrat fly. We live in a sa -i. pi3 rtere " Edom,Tsxas,subject to violent Says: Colds rid Lung Troubles. I havs used German Syrup for six years. successfully for Sore Throat, Cough, Cold, Hoarseness, Pains. in the Chest and Lungs, and spitting-up l f Blood. I have tried many differ ent kinds of cough Syrups in my time, but let me say to anyone want ing such a medicine German Syrup is the best. That has been my fx- perience. If vou use it once, yon will go back to it whenever ycu need it. It gives total relief and is a quick cure. My advice to every. . one suffering with Lung Troublesia Try it. You will soon be con vinced. In all the families whert your German Syrup is used we have no "trouble with the Lungs at all. It is the medicine for this countrv. $) John Franklin . Jones. & G. GREEN. Sole Man'fW'oedfewy.NJ ' Dr.W00D,&rc" Regular tiradua:c in Medicine 29 ururs hospital uiui jrrivaU pnu(ee - , lO in VMcayo ami Atw York Km .tabllshed la Siomx City lne AWi lYean-ustill treating all Private. Nervous. ChrMklr u MnjMlaf diseases. SBermatnrrki. Semiuat weakness dilgU lotstt) lanpoteacy titan of jmuii p"ii-er). end all Female Diseases. IrrtQuUiritus. tte. fjuree guaranteed- or money refunded Charge fair. Terms rash. Agpandexperiencn nre Important. No la- Iartnus medicines ued So tlmt lost from work or uslr.ws Putlents at a dUtasco treated by mall Mtiliciiui $tnt trtTTpsTtrrt jut Jrmn gut anabrrak agt State tir cast and send for Oplaiou and trriiit-Consultatlon itrlctlr onnfldentlal, person ally r br letter Or. WOOD baa the largest Mediral and Surgical Institute and Eye and Eur liirirmwry la the West Kooras for liu;irmi a. lairnnp.. famines iu mni uj niw jency A unlet Home anil bnt cart and ikill for Lriilti's durtno Prtgnane-j and Conlnemrnt Hend ie. 3ottx.- for Illustrated ItOOK and MEDICAL - .OtIKXAL. OsrMMiilon this eeacr.. S -mm-mmm . - . j mmmwm-m-- KADXKS.n Dr.Ce lnca'Perle)dlcarrtll.froa Ma, l rue. E.UUUbl la Eorop., IsS. Eitf laBd. 9i CaoaJa. . MM; Uoilxi StaWt, 1 WT. Cam a) I nsanadana. ImgalartOtt P. BtontUy dtnnsountt. Saf.harmlaM.TtlUkU. Tbiry paaltlnly sautaotbalalradurlnf prcsiaD7. Thalarg arosortlaa of Ilia towblchlhhrt ara liabUU tha direct nanl. t a aUaorJond ana angular mB.truatkn. Contlaufd moalMy naataaUoaa remit la ail fwauning aaj a, ulck cooturoptloo. $1 pack(a,or lfoa BarauiI,tarUlaMale4nTtUiB.eareelBtorBrica. TbaAaaanV , caa Fill Ox. Whalnalm aaj RotxIIt PmptWton. TtM (roa'a pill aaU by SEDGWICK A D SLOSH.! Sbu CI V. lama, Wbcaaala and, ctataU Agtala. FOR SALE A FAY PLAMING MACHINE That will ptane sixteen inches wide. This machine Is in good order and will be delivered on lxwrd the cars for 475. For further particu lars adrire: W. II. ROG ERS, 2W Pearl St.. Sioux City, Iowa. DORT BE A WAll-FLOWtl ;.Vn: -- i-.ui help yon along. Complete tH-)(-intruelino. Sn.l tor circular. JEKUIS MTU AND PU11U 0. S'.l liroadway. New Yoik City. WALL Fira 8e. TO Me. A KOU. -write tor Maine nplcav "ft. tallli ;eo. V. URAKl AlaUUon su. Chicago. . wnou exilian ooy. 'INION S&polio. counngsoe.p Orcp ForeiicJ. Steel Tub Bearings to :i running Parts. Suspension Saddle Finest mite-1 V Finisned in Enamel and Nickel CMAOE IN EVERY PARTICULAR. .4p. a.. ...iaa p. i...- "ifrTtpa.Tl &Hh bWH. BUMS. nmiWTl. aaafilBf etS All KHUf . tm. EUleSt tOIaai am Is certae. Fa saaall martJoi u aaaatl atavetnl tm u..i .. . HaZaLnnWaaM.L ; .- v :4 :-l. ' . 4 v - ?' J .' - 1 i . T jf , : rr i vn r-- 9. 4 flfctirj. sgl SKSSs. At " A. " -. .Z-g-1.