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3STEBH ASTC A
FAMILY : JOURNAL.
A Weekly Newspaper issied erery
' Wedaesday.
32 Colians f reading Batter, ea
sistiig of Nebraska State Newa
Items, Selected Stories ail
Hiscellaiy.
ffeSample copice Bent free to any midnm."
Subscription price,
SI a ytar, in Mvmtcs.
Address:
H. K. Tdxkkb k Oat,
Columbus,
Platte Co., Nebf
.A.. DTJSSELL,
DEAL
S3
Lfcl
C
PUMPS REPAIRED ON SHORT
NOTICE.
Olive St., nearly opposite Post-aides.
Ojani'88-y
LOUIS SCHEEIBEK.
All kinds of Repairiig done
Short Notice, baggier, Wag
ons, etc., Bade to order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-famous Walter A,
Wood Mowers, Reapers, Combin
ed Machines, Harvesters,
and Self-binders the
best made
llTShop oppoeito the " TattcrBall," on
Olive St.. COLUMBUS. 26-m
JudioiBus Advertising
Creates many a new business,
Enlarges many an old business,
Hcvivcs man' a dull business,
Rescues many a lost business,
Saves many a failing business,
Preserves many a large business.
Secures success in any business.
Bo enys n man of lnfinws1 and we add that
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includes
THE JOURNAL
Ac on? of tlip mediums. becraso it is road by the
lt.t moi1i, tiu-o who know what they want and
pay forulmt they pot. We challenRO comparison
vith any tiaritrj" Iaior in the world in this re-Pn-ct
twonty ji-ars publMiinR by tho snmo
ntnmwincnU and nivr one thin to fmlcrilxTS
published in TllK .TouiiSAU. This belter tlian
nn tlihtsr else, shows tho class of peoplo who
n-jid The Jouksal every week. tf
GOSHEN
FENCE MACHINE'
CHEAP. ONLY $15.
Woven wire and slats, cnt willows, split boards
r anything of the sort, ned; after posts are set,
fenco can bo made and stretched on the gronnd,
in the winter, by a boy or ordinary farm hand,
10 to 40 rods a day, and can work it oyer any
ground. The man who hasone of these ma
chines can build a fence that is more durable and
safe, than any other, and make it at lees cost.
The machine and a sample of its work can be
eoen inthecity on 11th street at Ernst a Schwarz
hardware store. Willsell mchines, or territory,
or contract to put op fences. ..
lmaytf J. B. MATHEW60N.
iti?WPA?2R
KmrrRTiQiMc'
A hnolr of 100 rtBMSL
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"RT18IMGu"-e expert
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Itcuntalns lists of newspapers and estimate
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Invest one hundred thousand dollars in ad
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meetais every requirement, or eon bemmle
to do to bf tligkl efcaaeef auffy arrived at oy eor
rewsisrfqtee. 149 editions have been issued.
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WaWL
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A Choice Selection of Inter
esting Items.
Thk beech is said to be crowding out
all other trees in the struggle for exist
ence iu the Danish forests.
It is said that the province of Arau
canta, in Cliili, is infested by hordes of
bandits and atrocious crime are suc
ceeding each other with alarming
rapidity.
A dentist of Kingston, N. Y., re
cently pulled eight of his own teeth.
He says he fennd it somewhat incon
venient, because he couldn't keep his
he:id still.
Ax officer sent from Washington to
San Diego to look into the filibustering
story is rei-oited to have said: "Those
wlio made up the yarn have been un
able to produce a single man who was
rcrraited frr the so-called filibustering
expedition
An oider has been issned at the press
censors department in St. Petersburg
that no te'ejjrams can be either re
ceived or siMit by the papers between 6
in the evening and S in the morning.
TIio only reason is that the officials of
the bureau object to remain on duty at
night time.
Thekk are only five States in the
Union in which a schoolmaster can now
legally Hog a pupil. In all other states
a pupil menaced with corporal punish
ment can arm himself with any sort of
weapon aud use it as best he can. Mas
sachusetts teachers ilog au average of
two bov-s per day per capita.
A lady of St. Paul, Minn, tho mother
of three voting children, after trying
about a dozen nurse girls, with very
unsatisfactory results, adyerti-ed for a
boy to take care of her children. She
obtained one, and he possessed more
good qualities than all tho nurse girls
combined, giving perfect satisfaction.
CiitT.cn ushers in Boston have ap
parently got the busiuess down- pretty
fine. One of them tho other Sunday
remarked to a pretty woman who had
asked him for a seat: "Certainly,
madam, if you will allow me I should
like to give you a seat on the broad
able. Wo put the handsome ones
there to decorate the church."
Chinese doctors are very particular
about the distinction between physi
cians and burgeons. A Chinese gentle
man was struck by an arrow, which re
mained fast in his body. A surgeon
was sent for, and broke off the pro
truding bit of the arrow, leaving the
point embedded. He refused to ex
tract it, because the case was clearly
one for a "physician, tho arrow being
inside the body.
At the last converzatione of the
lloyal Society, London, England, a new
barometer was exhibited which will, on
one slip of paper, note the beginning,
variations in intensity and termination
of rain and hail, the instant of each
lightning Hash and the beginning and
duration of a thunder clap. The in
strument can be read for periods of
time down to the fifteenth part of a
second. An arrangement was also ex
hibited to show, either by projection or
photography, the oscillatory nature of
an electric spark.
A conspicuous figure in the pro
cession at the unveiling of the Lee
Monument, at llichmond, was the vener
able Prof. F. N. Cronch, the composer
of -"Kathleen Mavourneen." He is per
haps nearer ninety than eighty years of
age, yet hale and hearty. He was ar
rayed in full uniform of Confederate
gray, having come on from Baltimore
to meet probably for the last time his
soldier comrades of the old First How
itzers. His comrades say that no braver
soldier ever fought with tho artillery of
the Armv of Northern Virginia.
Geumanv has ceased to be dependent
on tropical countries for its supply of
sugar; it grows its own beets, makes
them into sugar, supplies its own peo
ple cheaply, and has a large surplus for
exportation. The soils and climates of
most of our Northwestern States are
better adapted to tho growth of sugar
beets than are those of Germany. The
skill of our workman is not inferior to
that of German people. A larger and
richer home market is open to the
American than to the German manu
facturer. The making of' beet sugar on
a large and profitable scale is an ac
complished fact in Europe, and should
be an accomplished fact in the United
States.
The Sacramento Sunday Union re
calls the following incident of thirty
years ago : A lady at Grass Valley had
a novel experience during a thunder
storm. She was wearing a hooped gar
ment of the kind then in fashion, and
the steel bauds that surrounded the
lower portion of her body attracted the
lightning. The wearer was thoroughly
electrified, and danced around quite
lively. She said it was the funniost
sensation she had ever experienced.
Hoops became quite the rage in Grass
Valley that season, as her friends were
desirous of being electrified likewise.
As an instance of the speed at which
tho world is advancing the Electrical
crld calls attention to a prophecy
which a writer in Harper's Magazine
hazarded in the year 185C. This infatu
ated dreamer predicted that in the year
3000 men would be ab'le to attach an
ear tube to a wire and hear conversa
tion two miles away. In the course of
a dozen centuries he dared to believe
news would be printed by electrical
agency on rolls of paper for prompt and
convenient distribution, and that fac
simile transmission by wire would be
come an accomplished fact "It is not
easy to realize," says the Electrical
World, "that since the Harper's ingeni
ous contributor thus gave rein to his
imagination, there have elapsed not the
twelve centuries he expected, but
merely a matter of less than two-score
years."
Ax unecclesiastical and broad-minded
clergyman whom we will call Smith
was walking down Broadway the other
day in company with a friend whom we
will call Jones, says the New York
Tribune Pretty soon they met an ac
quaintance of Jones, who presented his
clerical companion iu these words:
"Let me introduce you to my friend the
Bev. Mr. Smith, who, as you may infer,
makes divinity his specialty." "Pardon
me for making a correction," said Mr.
Smith laughing, "but if I make a
specialty of anything, it is humanity
rather than divinity.'' This answer
shows the very marked line of cleavage
between the old and the new school of
clergymen. The former thought so
much of the attitudes of God that they
had little time to think of man; while
the latter pay so much attention to man
that they have little room in their sys
tem for abstract speculations about
God.
The names of the American students
lately dismissed from the Berlin Uni
versity are Clarence Kellogg, Dr.
William Porter, Dr. William A. Dur
anger. WUliam Kelley, Richard Schu
lenberg, and David Jamieson. Dr.
Hinschins, rector of the Berlin Univer
sity, was asked why that institution re
fused to recognize medical degrees
conferred by American Colleges. He
refused to discuss the subject. Privy
Councilor Klueffel said that American
Colleges differed so greatly, those of
excellent standing existing side by side
with bogus affairs, that tho authorities
of the University could not take the
time and trouble to distinguish between
them. Herr Schmitt, curator of the
University, said that probably the
omission of American degrees from the
register was due to the laxity of the
American laws and regulations regard
ing the conferring of degrees. Mean
time the American physicians feel the
position acutely, although they are fully
recognized and highly esteemed by the
medical society of the German capital.
A diamond merchant of New York
was for years suspected of smuggling
precious stones, but the customs detect
ives could not catch him. Every time
he returned from Europe he was care
fully searched, and it was even proved
that he did not swallow his diamonds
before going ashore, but never was any
thing found except a few inferior stones,
aud these he did not attempt to conceal.
Traps were set to capture the wily old
culprit, but without avail. At last a
detective learned that whenever one of
the members of the suspected firm ar
rived in New York upon a certain
steamer another member of the firm or
an agent took the same state-room upon
its return trip. He invariably took the
entire state-room, so that he was alone
upon the voyage. This led to the dis
covery of the fraud. It appears that
the importer, when on his way from
Europe, would cut a small piece out of
the flooring under the carpet of the
state-room, and, after concealing the
diamonds to be smuggled, would put
back the flooring and replace the car
pet. When he left the ship he left the
diamonds, too, in their place of conceal
ment, and, of course, the detective
never found any in his possession. A
few days afterward, when the vessel was
about to sail for Europe, the other
member of the firm or its agent, having
secured the state-room for the return
trip, would go on board accompanied
by his confederate. The latter would
then remove tho diamonds, and go
ashore perfectly safe. There were no
customs officers on active duty when
vessels were departing.
He Couldn't Cotton to tlio Luxury of Mod
ern Improvements.
"Beats all about how times has
changed consarnin' taverns," said an old
gentleman seated comfortably in the
Ryan rotunda, and beaming and blink
ing in the light from hundreds of spark
liug points. ''Everythln's ter ther
queen's taste now 'days, but sumhow I
can't cotton ter ther luxury of modern
improvements. I'm alters 'fraid of sum
break I'll make, I am. Ain't never
fully satisfied with myself as I used ter
be over in Michigan forty years ago.
Them was times sure enuff. Used ter
be a tavern thar with a bar an' a big
Franklin stove like a fire place with a
black log. An' thar we drovers I was
a cattle man then as now wo drovers
uster set afore that fire an' whittle an'
lie an' spit An' checkers! Bless me
but thar was more crack checker play
ersin them days than thar be now.
Sure thing. Talk about experts, why
I knowed an old veterinary surgeon
named Beasley thet could chalk ther
spot you'd stan' on when you was
skunked. Sure thing. An' he'd make
yon stan on it, too, in ther end, no mat
ter how yer moved. I seen him play
old Gin oral Cass onct Sure thing.
The Gineral warn't nowhere. Couldn't
get a king. An' every time he lost he'd
set em up fer us drovers an' chuckle an'
laff about it as though he was pleased.
Couldn't faze the Gineral, an' he was so
good natured about it that all tho drov
ers liked him, an' as they enm from
different parts of the State an' was all
men of influence an' pretty well fixed,
they used to talk Lewis Cass every
where, up hill an' down, an' Cass he
was pretty successful in scoopin' in lots
of votes arouu' whar the drovers lived,
Wall, I've often thought ole Cass was
playiu' a deeper game than tho veter
inary surgeon, for tho veterinary sur
geon never amounted ter shucks, an
Cass went to Congress an' really as
pired to J the Presidency. The voterin
inary died of the jim-jims. Say, do
yer know if they keep a bar enny where
aroun' the premises? Darned if I've
dared knock aroun' the place much for
fear of gitten lost in the shuttle. St.
Paul Pioneer Press,
Was Columbti a Jew?
Jews figure prominently in the his
tory of the discovery of America. The
plans and calculations for Columbus'
expedition were largely the work of two
Hebrew astronomers and mathomatir
ciaus. Two Jews, also, were employed
a? interpreters by Columbus, and one
of them, Luis de Torres, was the first
European to sot foot in the New World,
When Columbnt sighted the Island of
San Salvador, he imagined he was ap
proaching a portion of the East Asiatio
coast, and he sent Torres who was en
gaged for his knowledge of Arabic
ashore to make inquiries of the natives.
It was, probably, this Torres who was
the Madrid Jew to whom Columbus be
queathed half a mark of silver in his
will. Another curious fact is, that it
has been seriously suggested, by Dr.
Delitzsch wo believe, that Columbus
himself was a Jew, or of Jewish birth.
The name Christopher W03 frequently
adopted by converts, while the sur
name Colon was borne by a distin
guished family of Jewish scholars.
Christopher's brother, Diego, bore
originally the Jowish name Jacob, which
sounds surprisingly like a Shem Ka
dosh. Perhaps during the coming cel
ebrations some Jewish scholars in Italy
will make inquiry into the validity of
this daring suggestion. JewisJi World.
Saving the Heathen.
Stranger (in Brooklyn) Where are
all those gentlemen going?
Be-jdpnt They are going to bd fare
well to a popular missionary to China
who has been very successful jn teach
ing the heathen the Gospel of love and
peace.
"Tsee. And where is this gang of
boys going?"
"They are going to stone a Chinese
funeral" New York Weekly.
WaAT DOES IT MATTKKr
ar nu wbzkx.xr wnxox.
Wealth aad glorr, place r nd power.
What are they worth to me or youf
For the lease of life run out in an hour.
And death stands ready to claim his doe ;
Sounding honors or heaps of gold.
What arc tbe;. u'A ..hen all is told?
A pain or a pleasure, a smile or a tear
What does it matter what we claim?
For we step from the cradle into the bier,
And a careless world goes on the same,
Hours of gladness or hours of sorrow.
What does it matter to ns to-morrow?
Truth of love or vow of friend
Tender caresses or cruel tneers
What do they matter to us in the end .
For the brief day dies and the long night nean.
Passionate kirses'or tears of gall.
The grave wiU open and cover them aU.
Homeless vagrant, or honored guest.
Poor and humble, or rich and great
AU are racked with the world's unrest,
AU must meet with the common fata
Life from childhood till we are old.
What is aU when aU ia told?
A VERY FAST DUEL
SKETCHED FKOM REAL LIFE.
May bo you have heard of "The Fast
est Funeral on Becord," and ether fast
stories, written by fast men; but I'll
bet a sixpence to a kid of mush, that
you never heard of the fast duel.
It occurred ten or twelve years ago
yes, thirteen cf them when I was a
youngster aboard the sloop-of-war Bos
ton, in the West Indian Squadron.
We had just got in from a cruise up
among the Windward Islands, and
Ladn't had much fun for some time, for
'twas in the hurricane season, and we
had seen heavy weather enough to sat
isfv any old blowhard that ever smelt
salt water.
The very day we came to anchor at
Pensacola, however, we had a God-send
in the shape of a fresh caught midship
man, who coming from the backwoods
of Alabama, had never seen anything
higher than a flat-boat, and was as
green as a prairie colt in harness, and
pretty near as wild. His name was
Ezra'Blizzard, and the Commodore or
dered him aboard of us, as we had a
couple of vacancies, one of our mess
having been shot in a duel, and another
did worse by falling in love with an
heiress and marrying her, and resign
ing. Mr. Blizzard, therefore was, as I said
before, a perfect God-send. He was
soon initiated into the duties of keeping
his own watch, a watch for some of the
rest of us occasionally ; taught how to pay
over his mess-money, persuaded out of
a dozen of wine for his "footing," and
made the victim of a few harmless
tricks; such as having his hammock
cut down by the head, when he was
asleep in it being baptized by a sailor,
by getting a bucket full of salt water
poured over him when he was sleeping
with his month open finding a dead
rat or two occasionally in his pockets,
or salt instead of sugar in his coffee,
etc., all of which he bore so mildly that
we began to consider him a regular
spoony, and not calculated to become a
credit to his mess in particular or the
service in general.
To settle the point and determine his
quantum of spunk, it was voted that he
must be made to fight a duel, and the
plot was made up between three of us,
that it should be a harmless one, just to
try his spunk.
Accordingly Hogan B , one of tho
best shots in the squadron, by the way,
insulted him in due form, and, much to
our astonishment, was knocked down
for his pains. He arose as wrathy as a
mad bull, and would have pitched into
his opponent on the spot had we not in
terfered, and insisted upon the quarrel
being settled according to the "code of
honor." Hogan therefore challenged
Blizzard, at the same time insisting
with us that the fight should be real,
and not in fun, with cork balls as first
proposed. But we overruled him, inas
much as the insult he had given wa9
uncalled for, and the youngster declined
the writer's volunteered service to act
as his second.
"Must I fight him with pistols?" he
asked. "I could wollup the life out of
him in my own way !"
"Gentlemen only use pistols you
struck him, and of course must give
him gentlemanly satisfaction. I hope
you are a good shot he is!" I replied.
"I never shot off a pistol in my life,
but I'm some with a rifle!
"Rifles are not allowed in the code
pistols are the only weapons, and Ho
gan has a first-rate pair, has killed two
reefers with them already!" I could
see that Blizzard didn't like this news.
but he tried to look calm, and asked
when he would have to fight.
I told him he would have it out that
afternoon, as it was bad to let the
blood cool over such affairs, and accord
ingly in an hour afterward wo man
aged to get ashore, with the case of
pistols wrapped up out of sight in an
old pea-jacket.
We immediately went out to the old
Spanish grave-yard, back of the town,
to heighten the effect, and as luck
would have it, we found a freshly-dug
grave, which was probably to be ten
anted on the morrow. Blizzard looked
at it, and wanted to know what that was
for. We told him that the death of one
or tho other party only could atone for
the blow, and that the grave had been
prepared for the one that fell, or for
both, in case both were killed. The
joungter turned a shade paler as he
heard this, but still he gave no stronger
signs of backing out.
Reaching a little orange grove near
the new-dug grave, we halted, picked
out, and measured the ground. Myself
and the other second now opened' the
pistol-case, and commenced preparing
the weapons. Hogan coolly lighted a
cigar, looking as ferocious as a meat
axe at his opponent, who nervously
watched our movements.
"Blast the luck!" I exclaimed, pre
tending to try the lock of one of the
pistols. "The main-spring of the pistol
is broken what shall we do?"
''Fight with the other toss up which
shall have the first shot" growled Ho
gan in a fierce tone.
"Yes," said his second, "that's fair."
"No, it ain't! S'pose he gets the first
shot, he'll kill me without my getting a
shot at him!" cried Blizzard.
"Yes, sure as winking!" I added,
"but then if yon get the first shot you're
safe. Trust to lupk my boy, you'll
stand as good a chance as he!"
Very reluctantly B. consented, de
claring that he had never had any luck,
but to his delight, and to our surprise,
he won the first fire.
He was now more nervous than ever,
and as I handed him the pistol loaded
very heavily with powder only, his
hand shook so that he could hardly hold
it
"If I should miss him, he'll kill me
sure!" he muttered to me.
"Yes," said I, "but you mustn't miss
him. Take good aim. I'll give the
word very slow, bore him right through
the heart; for you're dead if he gets a
shot at you."
They were placed the distance only
ten paces, and Hogan stood with his
arms folded, full breast to his foe,
scowling at him as if he wanted to blast
him.
"Are you ready, Mr. Blizzard?" I
-T-QafaVJ,
"Yes but I don't like to shoot at
him so, and he standing there without
a chance!"
"Come be quick no trifling, it ia
my turn next!" said Hogan in a bitter
tone.
Blizzard's hand trembled more than
ever, but his eye flashed, and he an
swered: "rm ready now 111 see if it's your
turn next!"
As I gave the word very alow, ha
raised the pistol, not as I had showed
him. but with both hands, taking sight
as he would with a rifle, and fired.-!
Having held it a little too close to his
nose, the recoil of the heavy-loaded
weapon nearly knocked him down, and
for a moment almost blinded him,
drawing the claret in a stream from his
no?e. But to his utter horror and
astonishment the first sight that met his
bewildered eyes, was Hogan standing
there with his arms folded, a most
diabolical smile on his face, and evi
dently untouched.
"Oh Lord!" he exclaimed, "how
could I have missed him. I bad sure
head of him !"
"You grazed his ear that was pretty
close!" I said by way of a comforter.
"Bear a hand and load the pistol I
am hungry want to punish him aud go
to supper!" cried Hogan, sharply.
Poor Blizzard ! He looked as though
he would sink into the earth' he was
pale as a ghost, but he had stopped
trembling. Ho was evidently trying to
nerve himself to meet his fate like a
man.
"Is there anything I can do for yon
after you have gone, my friend ?" I asked
coolly.
"Yes," he replied, hoarsely, "write to
my father and tell him that Ezra Bliz
zard died like a man just as he told
mo to! cut off a lock of my hair, (here
his voice trembled,) and send it to Mnry
Neal, in the same letter; poor gal, she'll
break her heart for this. That's all
good-by, Buntline."
"Good-by, Blizzard, I am sorry for
you, but it can't be helped," I replied,
putting my handkerchief up to my face
as if to hide my teargT, but really to con
ceal the laugh thatrwas trying to break
adrift in spite of my euprts to lqplc
serious. ?
"Give the word slow said Hogan
fiercely. f 4
"Tho devil is in his eyes hejll kill
him sure!" I mutteresf, just loud enough
for Blizzard to heaffme. I could see
the poor fellow beam to tremble.
Are you ready 9
"No," said Hoaan, '
till I finish this si car "
'wait a moment
Blizzard's tremor increi
every mo-
mo-1 u
iki
ment suspenaB was too
evere.
added to his sconv bv
remarkin
in an undertime, that I
ver saw
mn cr slAlitumitA anil mitiilAWino
At last Hogan said he was ready
and again said, "Give the word slow,
now!"
"By heavens, I can't stand this, it's
murder!" I cried, as if dreadfully agi
tated. "Bun, Blizzard, run!"
My earnest cry, added to what he
had already endured, decided poor Bliz
zard, and off he started like a wounded
buck.
"Stop stop till I shoot!" yelled Ho
gan. "Stop, stop till you are killed!"
yelled his second.
"Go it, Blizzard!" I shouted, at the
same moment seizing a half rotten
orange from the ground and hurling it
with all the force I could after him.
The orange struck him plum upon
that portion of his body named by phil
osophers as the seat of honor, bursting
and deluging him with its juice at the
very instant that Hogan fired his pistol.
Poor Blizzard heard tho shot, felt
the orange, and tumbled forward flat
on his face, close beside tho new-made
grave.
"Are you killed?" I cried, rushing up
and kneeling by his side.
"Oh Lord-oh Lord!" he groaned
"dead shot in the back, too! Oh
Lord tumble me into the grave I don't
care, only I am shot in the back !"
"May be I can stop the blood!"
"No, don't try, I don't want to live.
I'm shot in the back !" he groaned.
"Don't let Mary or father hear of it
bury me as soon as I'm cold !"
"Don't the wound hurt you?"
"No no, nothing hurts me but being
shot in the back. What did you tell
me to run for? it was all your fault I
was ready to die like a man."
I could hold in no longer! I burst
into a yell of laughter, and lifted up my
principal to his feet. Hogan and his
second came up and the cat was let out
of the bag everything was explained.
About the maddest person that I
think I ever saw in my life, was that
same Ezra Blizzard just at that time.
He was utterly wolfish. He wanted to
fight all three of us on the spot one
after another, and nothing but our as
surance that we were satisfied that- he
was true to the back-bone, would satisfy
him.
He afterward became a smart man
and a popular officer, and in real serv
ice by my side in tho swamps of
Florida, proved himself a trump card,
and, though wounded on two occasions,
he was never "shot in the back," except
in that "Fast Duel."
What to Do with the Hands.
"Few people are thoroughly at ease
about the disposition of their hands in
company," said a teacher of the art of
gesture. "And yet there is a very
simple thing that may be done to get
rid of that disagreeable consciousness
of the members which give rise to the
difficulty. You see, the hands are far
more highly educated in this age of me
chanical civilization than they have
ever been before. It may also be said
that the brain has found its way to the
end of the fingers that these extremi
ties have come to possess an inherent
intelligence. For this reason the at
tention is so fixed by habit upon" tho
bands that they feel awkward, just as
any other part of the body will do if
you think particularly about it.
"In order to be graceful in the dis
posal of your hands, it is only neces
sary to get rid of consciousness about
them, and you may accomplish this to
a surprising extent by a very simple
gymnastic process. Let them hang
limply and wring them as violently as
possible for five minutes, say. This
will render them unconscious to a great
extent, so that you will not be dis
turbed for some time after by excess of
feeling in them. Consequently, while
the effect lasts, you will find yourself
at eae about your hands and will
have no trouble about their manage
ment Yon will be astonished, if you try it,
to find out how admirably it works. I
have recommended it to hundreds of
people, and they have uniformly found
it successful. Do it once every day for
a month, aud you will discover that by
mere practice of the habit, your em
barrassment in this regard has been
greatly diminished. The time to per
form the operation, obvionsly, is just
before you enter a room full of com
pany, though it will not do very well to
be found wringing your hands in the
vestibule of a house to which you have
been invited, or engaged in what may
appear to be a frantic exhibition of grief
in the reception room,"
As to Set tint; Rivers on Fire.
Bobby Mr. Bagley, you wouldn't
set the" North Biver on fire, would
you?
Mr. Bagley Why, no, Bobby, of
course not I couldn't do that Why
do you ask?
Bobby Well, they were discussing
smart people at the house last night
and that's what sister Sarah said about
you. I guess sister's got you down
pretty fine. Rochester Post-Express.
A Hard Name Anyway.
Mr. Blobson Didn't I hear yon call
ing one of your little playmates hard
names just now, Johnny?
Johnny Dumpsey (who is twice as
erudite as his father) Perhaps you did,
pa. I don't see how I could very well
help it His name is Peter Stone.
Burlington Free Press.
Kooaomias; a Theroaganwa.
Ia order to guard against results ntterly tab.
venire of health, it is absolutely essential that
t2e grand thoroughfare or avenue of the sys
tem, the bowels, should be reopened as speed
ilyas possible when they become obstructed.
Ifthoyarenot.the hUeis misdirected into the
bleod; tho liver becomes torpid: viscid bilious
matter gets into the stomach and produces iu
disestion: headaches ensue, and other symp
toms are produced, which a prolongation of tho
exciting cause only tends to aggravate. The
aperient properties of Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters constitute a most useful ageat in over
coming constriction of the bowels aad promot
ing regular habit of body. It is infinitely
superior to the drastic cathartic frequently
used for the purpose, since it does not, like
them, act violeutly. but produces a natural,
painless effect, mhicb does not impair the tone
of the evacuatory organs, which it invigor
ates instead of weakening. The stomach and
Uvor, also indeed, the entire system-are
strengthened and regulated by it.
CAPTURED BY TITLES.
Bfca
American Girls Who Havo
Takoa
Mediocre Foroiffa Hubbies.
The immense sum of $44,175,000
gone to Europe, during the last few years,
with several American girls ss an incasf
brunce, to trade for titles. Id the maia
this dowry of beauty and fortune purchase
poor specimens of men. If they wre in
Chicago they conldn't earn a living shovel
ing smoke out of the city. Yet they have
what all the wotld of snobs love a title
McBt of them have vices and debts and
othi-r things equally undesirable. Bat a
tit'e covers a multitude of sins.
The Amer.can girl is a beauty. She is a
conversationalist. She baa plenty oldish
and spirit and given those blase noblemen
uior) pleasure in au hour than they iver
had in their lives before. And she is rich
that is, all who marry noblemen are. So he
marries her, goes to heaven and gats the
earth.
Hi-re is a list of thrm:
Lady Vernon Harvourt $ 200.000
Countess Von Linden l.OOO.OCiO
Marquise de Mores 5.000.WX)
Lady Hcsketh 2.tWO.O0O
Mrs. Henry Howard 500.000
Duchess of Murlborough 7.00'.0l
Lady Wolsey 2.0 0.000
lluroness Kevdlitz 1.500. 0
Mrs. Arthur PaKtt 4UU.WW
Mrs. Maulu Ramsey 1.0UU.UUU
Princfss de Scey-Monthelliard. . . 2.U0U.UO
Mrs, Smith Barry 300.000
Mrs. Hughes Hallett 2C0.000
Duchess de la Bovera 3.000.000
Litdy Vernon 1.000.000
Duche-is do Glucksbjerg 2.000.000
Pnnees Colonna 5.000.000
Ditches de Dino 3.000.000
ilrs. Ernest Beeko t Dennisou. . . 500.000
Countess de Cliubot 200.000
Countess de Agredn 1.000.000
Mrs. William Currington 20J.00O
Countess Savorcuan 300.U.O
Princess do Bruuduceio 250.000
Countess di Calrey 150.000
Mrs. Cavendish Dentine.... 1,500.000
Lady Arthur Butler 1.000.000
Mrs. Thomas Charles Baring 500.tf 0
'! ho Baroness de Bremout 75.000
Mrs. Beresford Hope 150.000
Countess Aniiidel 100.100
Countess d'Aramon 150.000
Ludv A vlinar. 200.000
Mrs. John Adair 300.000
Marchioness of Anglesey 200.000
Marchioness Salvaterra 100.000
The immensity of this sum that has gone,
or is going, from our shores ib so huge
that it staggers people who have never con
sidered the subject, and, large though it is,
this vast sum does not represent the half
of the dowries of fair American women
who have married foreigners. Chicago
Globe.
The New Postal Cards,
The new postal cards which will shortly
be printed are of two sizes an idea of the
postmaster general's the bigger ones,
which have twice the area of the present
postal cards, beiDg intended for business
communications that canuot very a ell Le
crowded aud for other purposes demanding
spa'.e. Both kiuds have in the riijht hand
upprr corner, instead of the representation
of a stamp, a small portrait of Qen. Grant
Thete is no article made that purity is as
important in as soap. Thousands buy
cheap, adulterated soaps to save a few
cent-, and lose- dollars in rotted clothing.
Dobbins Electric Soap, perfectly pure.; tares
dollar.
A raiijUOAD is to be built from Arch
angel to Vologda to unite the extreme habi
table north of the Russian empire with the
interior. The contractors are merchants
of Vologda, who carry on a large business
with the natives of Archangel.
J. A. JOHNSON, Medina. N. T., says: "Ball's
Catarrh Cure cured me." Sold by Druggists, 75c.
A friend thinks that tho winds must be
great mathematicians because they slirh for
ever. Boston Trautcript.
"He that has thriven may lie abed till
soven." Thoso who use SAI'OLIO nocd not
work long hou. s. Sapolio is a solid cake of
Scouring Soap. Try it.
A fast man is very slow when it comes
to paying his debts.
when Baby was sick, we gave her Castorls.
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoris,
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
Vaea she aad CaUdrsa. she gave them Osstsria,
Tnocon a member of a brass band may be
perfectly temperate, he takes his horn with
great regularity.
We reeommend "Tansill's Punch" Cigar.
Newspapers in reporting the ground
rents made by earthquakes generauy give
the hole particulars
Beecham's Pills cure Sick-Headache.
The front steps aro deserted now. The
season has passed when she stoops to con
quer. Boston Budget.
Bbohchris Is cured by frequent small
doses of PIso's Cure for Consumption.
A church in New York is disfigured by
a huge sign advertising it for sale.
f TOO-WISH A
M. UUUW
RKVOLTKB
mrchmaa OB of
brated SMITH WESSON
uni. Th finest small arms
ever manufactured and the
first linii of mil MTiertA-
lffia wfnMil In rlltima in VI MlA II 111
.I.A.1mihU !! flmfet HmmmrlMfi mad
!"art models. Constructed entirely of aestsjaal
ty wrench! steel, carefully inspected for work
manship and stock, they are aarlvaled for !
darabfllty Bad accuracy. Poaotbsdeeelvdl
cheap malleaala caot-lrs) lajltatjaao which
areorWa sold for taeaBBUineartkSaareiiot
enlv aoraliable. fbaft danferooa. The SMITH a
WK8SON Revolvers are all stsmmed npoa the bar
rels with Sim's name, address and dates of patents
and are aaeresteed perfect la every detaU. in
sistuponhavlnaT the genaine article, aad Urovt
dealer cannot supply yon aa order arat to address
below will nenve prompt aaa carom aurauoa.
Descriptive Staleme and arlosa furnished npoaaa-
SJalTil vYJSBSUIi.
YJII. O
ELECTRIC BELT
raTUTElAK. IB, IU7, NrSSvIIVM. ItM,
sim. vwuiiuuar
AXTAXIC BOST BEIT
VAsa sttaraaaOXY ul
gw au ansasna ssan
:latats,btatsage,seaeraj
a4 HeVviat BekUity,
CestrMBSSs, Kiaaey
Diseases, Vrrveasatss.
TrcmUiag, Sexaal Xs
ainitioa. Wastiag f
VOTJ. ij
Ton tk. AfS '$
munn (i
.a TI.
ensedW Iaiisswtosas SB
Married sr Fisgts life.
dVoV. ELECTRIC IHSOLESsirAnu
MTMlBplalaseitatraTetep MpUettl paper. AMlwa
OWIK aXBOTBIO BXLT a AFFLLUICI CO.
306 North Broaaway. ST. LOUIS, MO.
85 Bioidway, NEW YORK CITY.
ijsiblb rii " imirm
ladies "isan.
POZZOMI'S
MEDICATED
COMPLEXION
rasylraaaraKiwaaasja
MOTHERS' FRIENn
MM CHILD BIRTH ul
ir uaao ii'oss conwmbbibmt.
Book to MoaarlAtueaam.
racLATwH eat, ATLanTA
SMwITAU
ISWWaWfgWaBJaa.
taa esie- wviii 4a-N.
Ma-BBBBS)
friSaafwfcamGmV
JEaawrvTSt i Kv Slav
waaa&MfrrcmflilaaC
Swi
Vssl
THK DAINTY PICNIC UsU.
At dlaaer ia the leafy woods
Her lemonade she s'p.
And nibb c at the cake she holwS
Betweea her Aager tips.
Her bean ia there and aro the rest
Are half done eating aha
Daclaroa that she's parakea of
"A great suatcieacy."
Bnt when she hoauward goes at night
She to toe cupboard flies.
And pork and beans, with beef aad greoae
And puddings, cakes and pies.
She wildly grabs with both her heads
To hunger overcome.
And aa her jaw go to and fo
tho says "Yum. yum, yum. yum."
Chicago Post.
An Original Package,
I'm always
found in
eoanties that are
dry; there is noon
so popular
as I; they
catch sos
in a grip
and take a
, soulful sip,
whilst froas
their month goas
ap a thankful cry. I
in held far above aU
other pelf. When they get BM
they put sse on a shelf, and 'tis a
funny sight, in t:e middle of the
night, to see them seek the com
pany of myself. The little ones
and wives may cry for bread; the
officers may come aad take their
bed; if he will just leave me, the
man don't care a d , if the bal
ance of mankind are all dead.
The music of my gurgle makes
them smile; 'twill be on the other
side, after awhile. When I gat
them in my grip I nevtr let thess
slip wntil I get then all in dur
ance vile. The mad prohibs may
rave and pall their hair; it don't
do any good, I'm coming there;
they must stand sadly by and
bear the people cry, for there
is none that I can safely spare.
Da. Bull's Worm Destroyer Is wonder
full efficacious. I prescribed It In several
instances, aud it nuver failed in asinglo
case to havo the d.-sired effect. I know of
no other worm remedy so certain and
speedy la its effect J. P. Clement. M. D..
VilanovB. Go.
A New York woman who had received
$5,000 was atvised by her lawyer ta de
posit it in a bank, but preferred to put the
money in a bag and pin it inside her corset.
Now the bag and money are missing and
sle is advertising for their return.
Thk grandest verse ever
universe. Golden Day.
composed the
Health
and Strength
Soon replace weakness and languor U that reUable
mediciae. Hood's Sarsaparilla. is fairly and faith
fnUy triad. It is the best medicine to overcome
that tired feeling, purity the blood, and cure
scrofula, salt rheum, dyspepsia, and aU other dis
eases arising from impure blood or low state of the
system. Olve it a trial.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
coldbysildrunista. ti;lx forts. Prepared oaly
by C. I. HOOD ft CO. Lowell. Mas.
IOO Pose Oif PoUwr
Both the method and results wheal
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
andrefreshingto the taste, and acta
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys
tem effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
ConstipatioB. Syrup of Figs is ths)
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac
ceptable to the stomach, prompt ia
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the aaost
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities coat
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50t
aad $1 bottles by all leadiag drug
gists. Any reliable druggist waa
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one wha
wishes to try it Da not accept
any substitute.
CAUFOHNIM FI9 SmVP Ci.
BAH nUUKUCO. CAL.
itmtmt AT. Ml W flaw, atfc
A MEW PLAN FOR INVESTORS.
NO RISKS. SURE PROFITS.
T
Guarantees' Bens? fer Small Seats.
'O WWTK KOK FULL INtVKMATIUJi.
UnswSttiSMSw References East sa West
Iscsrpsralsa : Capital, $200,000,
r. B. HILL. - - JVesietea.
CUAS. JT. WOOnMAN, rieerrtm.
CUAH. JT. SAOB, - Treasurer.
WM. LLOYD, - - BetTtmr.
mYMANKLIS PLATT. CoMwsef.
Leek lex 2063, DENVER, COLO.
Dr.WOOD,siSSxOTTrio9i.
Begular Graduate U afedldne-2e
years kmiiitai and jrrtrati vrcutlee
le in. Chicago and Stw York-Ks-
uDiuaea 10 bjqx; viiy aim
ears is sun ireaiuuj an rnme.
Narvona. Chroale aaa Snrelal
dlseaaos. HBermatorrhws.
Seiuinat Weakness (nieat loaar) Impoteacy
flow o ttxual power;, ana ail m emaie LHseaaes.
trrcjuUritU: etc Cares gwaraateod or
money rcfaadeel Charades fair. Teres
cash. Axe and experience are Important. Ko la
lurloua medicines nsed JVotim kwt from work or
business Patients at a distance treated by mall
Medlcintttent rorywarrv ,frr from ana break'
age State tour earn and send for Oplnloa aad
terras Consultation strictly confidential, person
ally r by letter Or. WOOD has tho laraest
Medical and Saraieal Inst I tote m4s
and Ear laSrmary lit the West Hoosas for
patients at fair ratenf sctlltles to meet any emer
gency A Oulet Home and best eare and skill er
LaiUea during Pregnane and Confinement Head Ac.
postage for Illustrated BOOK and MEDICAL
.10tJKXAI (rar-kfentioaUiianaparJ
aaam aaataaaaaaaaal
OIVTC EKTOYfl
Mi tolwt Go
.aaaaaaSlAi
Beat Cough Medicine. Rccoiumendcd by Phvaicians.
Cuxea where all else fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the
taste. Children take it wrthout objection. By drueaists.
JmaBBBBBBBBBBBBlBm
BBV wBbBBBBH BaBBBaVBBBBBBBm
Uiyaialiiai
Even the little pig in the picture It a more
agreeable companion than man with a dirty
collar or a woman who presides over a tawdry1
house. But nobody wants the reputation of being
a pig under any circumstances.
"A aUCE WITH BEATM!"
Aatong the nameless heroes, none are
more worthy of martyrdom than he wad
rode down the valley of the Conemaugh,
warning the people ahead of the Johns
tows flood. Mounted on a powerful
horse, faster and faster went the rMer.
but the flood was swiftly gaining, until
it caught the unlucky horseman and
swept on, grinding, crushing, annihila
ting both weak and strong.
In the same way is disease lurking
ear, like unto the sword of Damocles,
ready to fall, without warning, ou its
victlsa, who alIow3 his system to he
come clogged up, and his blood poi
soned, and thereby his health endan
gered. To eradicate these poisons from
the system, no matter what their name
or nature, and save yourself a spell of
malarial, typhoid or bilious fever, or
eruptions, swellings, tumors and kin
dred disflgurements, keep the liver and
kidneys healthy and vigorous, by the
use of Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
coverr. It's the only plood-puriner sold
on tnaL Tour money is returned if it
doesn't do exactly as recommended. A
concentrated vegetable extract. Sold
by druggists, in large bottles, at iLOU
L
EW1S' 98 . LYE!
PffVSniB ABB rUfSaat.
(ravsBTBn.)
Tho stiuiiassf aad purest Lye
made. wT make the BEST
Perfaved Hiao Soar fat twenty
minutes tcithout boifntf. It la
tho bast fer disinfecting i&ks,
alosets. drains, washing botUat,
Barrels, paints, etc.
PENNA. SALT aUNUF'G. CO..
Gea. Agfa. Phfla.. Pa.
lteMLHt1f kiiti" AS5.N Scife nV$I.M
Caseattyl-a.Ua. Statl Knrlag.BnaScwp aa4 Bah
SB.S9 W,I.MKk,lll
OSkaoSuna.
GALE
A SS4.M !! PJacalac SIS.
A SOO-0K Platform State... a.ea
efcM nl(d.l lkmJelT nana
A S13S.BO Tp Bum .... S.S
AS-VaaWapaSraW 40.S
A -na seal aaa suae aaca 1 a. a
SMFmIMU1 ,
A flu.ee Rm Cail 1S.S
a SI S.SW Gawte llanaa . . . T.
A 4ea.rhif &!.. ao
uurrae. CWICAC) aCAJLE ce.. Caleace.1
PENSIONS
The OtsabiUly BUI
is a taw. Hoidirn
disabled since lbs
war are eauilaa.
Dependent widows
and parents now dependent waoe eons died inn
eSects of army service are included. If you wtia
your claim speedilr and aurceasfully proaecuted.
Addrra-s
.Tames tanner,
Late ComaaUsJoaer ml Faaalona.
vVaahlnatoa. I. C
BORE WELLS! I hoVey',
Onr Well Harhtnaa ira the moat PI ItlWIIkl S
Onr Well Machtnaa ar the moat
aaUABLB.Il-BABLK.l.'('CErVL!
$B.
They do XSKK WOUK an.l
nakafiUKATEK PKMMT.
They riMiaif WcUewherr
4hra P-AII.! Any .lie. S
launoa 10 u incnes diameter.
LOOMIS ft, NYHAN,
TIFFIN, - OHIO.
Catalogue)
FREE I
TU Otdest Mtdicin in tkt WvrU it frtUHf
CELEBRATED EYE-WATER.
IHAAV nioinrswii'9
!?.
" F . - . .h.l..h fklnil
- - m.i ku iMM.n In ruu&taiit ii fur ntraxlv 1
re subject more distressing than wore eye- and
ajoae. perhaps, for which more remedies have beea
tried without miccest, For ail external Inflammation
of theoves It b an Infallible remedy, ir tbf dlree-tloa-a
are rollowr.1 It will never ratt. We part Icdlarl
tavtte the attention or phrjdrtaM to M mwlto. r .
aade hv all drucxWU JOHN L. TMOjIPbOM. BU2II
ACTmtT&Y. IWabllshediW;.
lSAI.KMMKN and MALCv
I LAI) IKS. both L-H-al and
ITrswlluK. to tta-U Diamond.
Watches and Jewelry. Good
novel and taple. and hud a ready Mle iu all
eommnnities. Abolut-'lr no cotucetiUon.
one refunded it ail iroodii are not revrtBotttrd.
and aU bear the guarantee of the manuraL-iurerri.
We pay sa air of from atxae to SU1 oe per
week. Addres for full particular REK1
AKSOX, Manafacturlna; JoweleiV Asents.
163 La Sail Street. Chicago. IU.
SiTFiTCH & cb
lea Corcoran UuIldlntf.Washluii'.m. U.C..
PENSION ATTORNEYS
of oer 25 years experience. Kuccesktidiy pru:vi'iir
DeUHlonsandctalmaof all kind. in-horlmt inhibit)
Ume. ATNU rKK U.NLKSS M,CCKSfcFU..
N
EW PENSION LAW.
TMOI'SANHH NOW KNTITI.Ktl WIU
HAVE KUT BEKS ETITI.rJ). AiMr?-rt
forfomiH (or application anJ full Information
WM. TV. DUDLEY,
LATE COMMISSIONER OF I'KNSIONM.
Attorney at Law. Waahiastua. 1. C.
(Mention tbU Paper.)
The Depfleot Pension Bill
Oraata pensions to Soldier. Nation, md Uioir
WMawi aad Children. I'reaent PENSIONS
1NCKEASKI1. Write imardl atetyutiim yourca.e
J. C. DEHIWODY. AtfT at Law.
ckauBoey Baiidiuc. Washington, u. c.
PENSIONS
lather, are entitled to SiSamoi
The great rvnhlun
mil aaa bunM.
Soldiers, thair wid
ow, mothera. aud
II a month, r'ee 10. wlnn
Blanks free. Joaenli IX
too (at your money.
mwal
Atf y. Washington. t. C.
The Impendent l'cn
ai'in Bill ha. tocoum
1 .v.- All ria.H14 K.,1.
I1 H B.I1A.. ..llth.l.
nhim are entitled te Dvmduiiw.
a. i.imim .. r RurveiN. LaTr aud Pension
lienor. Sioux City. Iowa.
curat PMiicrrti hmei if
LIB. Circular Eawiusliure
CBtitltd sent f Iff . ra1l ii .m-
cesful.Otherwis- aotbins. Art,
f (.'htesaoJll.AWaMainatoii.UC:
APCH every time you write.
PPBtQafvaaa JOHN W. MORRIS.
awj IvJ O I faf H WawhlnatoB. U. C.
Successfully Prosocutss Claims.
Late Principal Examiner V. S. I'aasion Korean.
jts la last war. IS adjuoicatiSJa claims, ally slues
CTeT7(r
ell
3ee.ess asmaa to
added to tka raaatoa list
Rejected and delayed Claims allowed. Tvehnlciil
tteewloedont Havo vourrlairu settled without !-
lay. fATRICK O'FA KRKLL. Washing, a U U.
ThongsU'la ENTITLED
under th NKW ..T.
Writ immediately for
BI.AN'K- fir auullca-
CU-Wwhiugtoa. O. O.
P
ElSltIS
NEW LAW. SMjm soldiers,
widows and reltle entitled,
blanks arvt instruction Iran.
Apply at ouce.
aw
i'LES t'On Att'jrs. Washington, 1.C.
awamiBmittBfflttS
sere relief
ASTHMA
II CO.
OPIUM
8. C. N. V.
No.20-90
'awX?MltJ
i ViaBBa&aaBf""w
BaaaaaBsawr
fete
uunniLLJ
mm
"KfSSSAWWie
PENSIONS
I tioa. J. B,C'TALLBT
aad easy eare. Dr. J. L,
ataaaeaa. Lsaaaoa. Ohio.
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