Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 18, 1889)
VS.- - rassess-v0 - ;,. f: A- :S I- E- t NOTICE!; J 4 J is customary in many instances for competitors, whenever a new firm locates in town to set all sorts ofru- iiwrs afloat. Gentlemen competitors,we wish to state in this issue, once for all, tJiat we are coming Itere from Chicago, ML, to stay, in spite of the fogy ideas and rumors is sued from such. .Donotfear, we are not de sirous of following in your business paths of 100 to 200 per cent profit on all goods sold. Ml Orfcn will receive prompt atten tion. Write for samples, BARBER & DAYKIN. THE POETS ESTATE. Be dweBs ta a mall, diagr garret, Ia oae of the prosiest Books, With oe'er a companion to share ft. Save a cat, for bis muse, and his books, A high though a bumble beginning For one who aspires to cUmb, A place well adapted to spaaing For spiders or spiaaers of rhyme. Tee storm beatee roof lets tbe rata in. The wsBs aad the windows ara worse. There are rents In his breeches and linen; But seldom the rest la his puna His visage to thai aa his pane U, His adeaweu beats his abode, For the poet to versed la reverses, Aad pays his debts with wbst is ode. Though dad lathe rags of a i A hat that baa maajr a gap. The poet la thought growtaag wtoer Prefers to a crowa a fool's cap. getWwM at aoeplc-me'a table, Thoagh sometimes his living fa tart; AH hto haaqoets are flctloa aad fable, Aad a toast ta a poet's repast He works at hto play for oar pleasure. He turas attic salt for his meat; Aad, thoagh holding the lines in a measure. He always depends on his feet. He's a dealer la fancies aad notions. Tarns, prfhta, pictares, songs, rare and old. Cone spirits, extracts aad lore potions. For he's always a drug till he's sold. The homeliest truths appear sweeter Wbea through the bards lyre they pass; Aad hasaor when drawn through hto meter Might truly be called toughing gas. la creed he's a sort of free thinker. la politics quite democratic; Aau though he's a temperate drinker, Hesaa air that to truly dramatic. For hto errors he makes ao repentance. He's a license to sin, like a gin tax, Aad when death comes at last with his seateace He'll yield to the stern laws of em tax. D. W. McOourt. THE FATE OF AN USHER. The acene wits a young man's boudoir, if each an anomaly can exist; the time, late in the evening, when confidences find easiest expression; the people were the boudoir's owner, in a neglige com pounded of dress clothes and a smoking jacket, and the friend of his bosom, somewhat similarly attired, with the comfortable abomination of a cigarette between his fingers. "Just let me read it to you agate," said lie of the smoking jacket, straight ening himself in his chair and taking a worn looking paper from the table. "Something may suggest itself to you. I want to have it all right, you know, so that when the notice is mentioned I shall be ready with a good suggestion. Now, then, listen: Miller Waldron. On Wed nesday, the 28th inst., at the Church of the Seven Angels, by the Bight Eev. Ar thur St. John Forbes, D.D., assisted by the Eev. Francis Willard Mason, George Northrup Miller and Adaline Bell, daugh ter of the late Maj. Gen. Sylvester Wal dron, United States army.' How is it? Does it go?" "Go? I should think so! All those capitals will sparkle like diamonds in the sun. But, Miller, I wish you would count me out of the affair. How many weddings do you suppose I have played usher for this spring? Six no less." "Well, make it seven. There's luck in add numbers." "There wouldn't be in this case. I was just ready to swear off from all social dissipations, and go into training watil fall, for the sake of my health. There's Greene, he's a good fellow; have Miller shook his head. "I won't have Greene nor anybody else," he said, clasp tag his hands behind his head and throw fag himself back in his chair. 'Til have you. I'm sorry if you're feeble. I wish you could be best man. There's plenty to get and little to do in that situation: but Ada's brother confound him! I had to ask him." "Of course. I don't grudge him the koaor; but you know,Wednesday is drill ht for me, and" - T11 pay your fine." "Hang the finer' "With pleasure; but if you don't mind the fine, I'm sure I don't see why you saind cutting. They will work you hard er than 1 shall. I won't oblige you to carry a gun." . "Thanks. Fm equal to the gun, I be lieve." T11 tell you what it is, Brooks, you have been in no end of a sulk since there was a doubt about Miss Howard's being said of honor. ,1 must 'say I think it s shabby of you to desert me on that ac count. Still, I will be magnanimous, aad tell you the news, although it would serve you right if I didn't. She has ac cepted, after all; her father has consent ed to her coming to town for theocca sfea. Why he wanted to refuse stall I cant issagine. But it is like him; every body knows what he is." Brooks laughed with a more interested aaanaer than he had shown heretofore. "I dost," he said; "what is he?" "Why, haven't you met him?" "Yes, but only once or twice, and then not for more than a minute. He is a "Oh, iron gray hair gives any man a isringiiiihril look, and he is tall and straight, which helps out the idea, but he is a perfect tyrant. I have heard that be is positively cruel to his daugh sr; that be bought this place out of town frposcly to keep her shut up, and that he wont let a man look at her. Vow there was Kadford. It seems that be want out thereto offer Miss Howard bat band and heart, and was fairly rush sd eff the place by bis host" "Sensible man. Who told of it Bad ferdr "ldontknow; it was told. I admit isuacially. Kadford is SATUTRDAT The Entire Building will be thrown open to the inspection of the public with one of the largest and most complete assortments of Ever shown by any one house in Nebraska. All our goods are new and of the latest styles and fashions, and our facilities for buying and being members of a private syndicate of thirteen different large dry goods firms throughout this State and also connected with members of the eastern syndicate, gives us an advantage to buy direct from the Mills, thereby saving the commission and jobbers' profits, and therefore we can safely say that we shall discount all our competitors on prices in this region. The public generally is invited to attend our grand opening day and. be convinced of our statements. We snail always quote me lowest marcel prices in uentrai Nebraska, and whatever quotations we make in news papers or otherwise, will always be -found in our estab lishment, and to make this day memorable in the history of the dry goods trade of Columbus, Nebr., special induce ments and attractions will be offered in every department. f mm W m Our principal business ions of 1860, of which our great-grandfathers taught us. What the people vvant and expect of merchants at this age and day is reliable merchan dise at honest as well as lowest possible prices, and we shall, without rail, supply the wants and demands of the people in DRY GOODS, CARPETS, UPHOLSTERY, MILLINERY and DRESS-MAKING. Trade with us and save at least 20 to 25 per cent. All goods marked in plain figures and strictly one price to alL not mucu ot a catch. He hasn't as much strength of character as a little, wee monkey; but I must say I think that he might have been decilned with 'hanks. suppose it sounds heartless, but pecu liar advantages belong to a girl who hasn't any father." Brooks rose to his feet and dropped his cigarette end into a receiver; then turn ing an animated countenance toward his host, he-grasped his hand and shook it warmly. "I'll see you through, Mil ler," he said, "if it takes the last prop of my failing constitution." After this the wedding preparations went merrily on. One evening, how ever, hardly a week before the great day, the happy bridegroom sought out his friend Brooks, with a wrinkle on his brow and a troubled sympathy in his manner. "It's all up, old man," he said, with desperate frankness. "Great heavens! what do you mean?" exclaimed Brooks, aghast Miller laughed a little. "Oh, it isn't as bad as that," he said, "only Miss Howard can't come; she has sprained her ankle Lucky it was no worse. She was tb rown from her horse. Her father must be an idiot to let her ride horse back. I suppose he wants to break her neck." Brooks laughed in spite of his disap pointment "Oh, you're not yourself at all. Miller," he said; "and small blame to you. However, as you say, it is lucky it is no worse." "Yes; but what shall you do?" "I? I sliall send her out some flowers, and a note to say that I am sorry." Miller looked relieved. "And you'll be on liand yourself all the same?" he said. "Do you take me for a child?" an swered Brooks, with some asperity. "Of course I will." He was as good as his word. "You're a trump, Brooks," Miller said to him, in a hasty aside at the reception. "You have outdone yourself to-night" "Don't say a word," returned Brooks, in a low, delighted voice. "I have a note from Miss Howard in my pocket, asking me to come out to-morrow after noon and tell her about it So I am playing society reporter to-night, seeing everything and everybody." Miller laughed. "Alas! poor Rad ford!" he raid, significantly. On the following afternoon, therefore, a pretty young lady with an interesting pillowed foot was relating circumstan tially tho story of her temporary in validism and its cause to a brown mus tached young man seated near her, who showed an absorbing interest in the sub ject. It was an attractive picture for con templation on a warm day. A shady veranda, with the gentle breeze coming toward it over an odorous velvet lawn; a email afternoon tea table set forth with fruit and cooling beverages, and a young and attractive pair of people luxuriously disposed to enjoy their beautiful sur roundings and each other's society. It was a reality doubly fair in the eyes of the young man, who was exchanging for it the monotony of business routine in the dusty city. Not that his lot was' a hard one. An only son in business with his prosperous father is in the ma jority of cases rather overpaid than overworked; still such a day, such a situation and such a companion formed an unusual combination. It was the first tete-a-tete that he had ever enjoyed with her wherein the certainty of an interruption was not imminent But now now no carriage waited at the curb to bear her from him; no partner all too prompt would come to claim his waits. Brooks had known for many a day that there was tapre happiness to be found in the society of this young lady than in that of any other, but the differ ence had never shown so plainly as now. Presently she raised a great bunch of rare roses which lay on the couch beside her and held them admiringly above her eyes. These are the second you have sent already," she said. "I understand something from them." "So much the better," he returned, boldly. "I intended that you should." 8he glanced at him over her flowers and then fastened her eyes upon them. "I understand," she said, "that you are very extravagant and very young." "Young!" he echoed, paying no heed to the less shocking adjective. "By that you mean foolish, I suppose. However, the flowers pleased you, didn't they?" ' "Yes, but they did not please papa." Ah! here was mention of that bete noire at last He had almost forgotten its existence. "Your father is hard to please, is he not?" he said, haltingly. "1 think I have heard that he was not al ways quite amicably disposed toward such as L," She covered her face completely with the roses at this, but when she spoke he could divine nothing from her manner. "Papa likes to have his own way." she said, half apologetically. Then seeming to cast concealment to the winds, "He hs a high temper," she confessed. "You know some people have, but his is some thing quite terrible, the storming, raving kind; not toward me he is the dearest, most devoted lather in the world; but toward young men, especially young men who send me flowers, he is quite violent sometimes." He nodded seriously, thinking of Rad ford's fate; at least that fate should not be his. "I shall meet Mr. Howard at dinner, shall I not? he asked, wishing the flowers in Jericho which so entirely concealed her face. "I suppose that if a man conducts himself like a gentleman mhk presence he is treated like one." "Oh. certainly that is, nearly always. But he has been asking a eras many WststiQM about. you ansa DRY 800DS, CARPETS, UPHOLSTERY AND MILLINERY v - .mm .- 1 A. 1 A. methods are not the old these came. He says that ne nas anown your father all his life, and he always admired him. Still, papa is hard to please; although he likes your father he may not like you. You are not your father, you know." "And you are not yours, thank heaven; so let us dismiss the subject, and defer the evil hour as long as possible. Will you put down those roses, or shall I take them?" 'Hestretched forth a hand toward them, but she avoided it "You have not told me a word about the wedding," she said, hastily; "1 am dying to hear about it Begin at once." "Oh, certainly," he acquiesced, with reckless gayety. "The spinster and the bachelor will now discuss the wedding. As you know, I was one of the ushers, and if you have ever been glad that you are a young lady, continue to rejoice, for no one can turn you into an usher." "Is it hard work?" she asked. "Do not tell me that you have ever at tended a wedding without seeing that it must be drudgery. Imagine a fellow shall I start there, or go back to the very lieginning?" "The beginning of your existence, do you mean?" she naked, laughing. "The beginning of the wedding," he answered, with lofty majesty. "I am too young to have a past" "So you are. The wedding, then; and do your very best this afternoon; be en tertaining, for lying still for so long in clines oae to blue dragons of the bluest kind, and I want you to fight them off for me." "St George for England!" he cried, laughing. "The fight begins! Imagine a church, large, gray, a trifle damp per haps, lights turned low, but over all a gala air.. The chancel is decorated in its white garments, and forty million roses throw their beauty and fragrance over all; together with potted things, of course, palms and hydrangeas, tall lilies and miles of smilax." "Smilax in pots?" "No, not in pots, but everywhere else. Enormous-candelabra stand about, light ed and festooned with greenery, and high above everything is a great crescent mado with twinkling lights like little stars. Now! Enter eight conspirators! I am one. The sexton is there to admit us; the organist and a few favored friends are already in the loft A mob besieges every one of the doora. That is the stuffing of the assembly, so to speak; without it the nooks and crannies which one could not fill with invited guests would be vacant, and give the church a cheerless look which the lights and flowers could not soften. Now we admit this stuffing, and it tears its component parts to shreds trying for places from which to see. Good! The nooks and crannies are filled, and still they come. They are vandals. They stand up in the seats; they walk up each other's skirts. These are ladies, you un derstand; at least they were ladies until the rumor of a wedding turned them centuries back into barbarians." "Splendid!" interrupted his audience, laughing. "Why do you not report for the papers?" "Too young," he answered, dryly. "I must have experience first" "I am blighted by your sarcasm!" she cried, continuing to laugh. "Please ex cuse me for living, and go on with the story." "Listen, then, for the plot thickens. Now arrive the least important of the guests; how they can be so foolish as to be on time I cannot imagine. The organ ist begins to play, and the stuffing mash es itself to paste. I give my stalwart arm to forty stranded dames and damsels no, not all at once one after another, and they go at all sorts of gaits. By the time I have escorted my share of the witnesses, I could keep step with any animal in a menagerie. There are tall ones who stalk like the stately deer only it is not the deer who does the stalk ing; but never mind; there are short ones, who chat amiably up at me, trying to appear unconscious of the gaping crowd, and these trot like little foxes; then there are some unaccustomed, half fledged ones who are frightened, and get over the ground like a pair of dividers. But I am up with them, neck and neck, so to speak, as I turn them into their places and stroll unconcernedly back for another victim in my natural manly gait And now they are all shown up and a very comfortably gaudy gathering they are with fans waving and jewels scintillating. How am I getting along?" "Not atall at present" "But how was IT "Grandly! We had just arrived at the interesting part I was standing on tip toe, ankle and all. to see the bride come in." He nodded. "Remain in that position, if you please," he said. "The organist is playing and leaving off at his pleasure, and any ingredient of the stuffing would, at this moment of excitement, be willing to stand upon the forehead of its faint ing neighbor to get a better view. Presently we are summoned to the vesti bule. The bride has arrived. Miss Wal dron has eight bridesmaids in green, and a special (your substitute) in pink, who walks in beside her. They all liave bouquets as large as hay stacks, and are positively silent with fright Now wraps off! Here we go! Doo! doo' dy-dool That is the wedding march as performed upon the organ; it must go through that once, and then the door are thrown back. All the people inih church turn wrong side before, and those at the sides sway forward, (riving aa appearance of the walls falling in. We leave four pews between each two of us, aad six between the last pair of bridesmaids and the bride Ho oaa oomai attar the GRAND ; 9KPTBMB Mm a m At A fogy fash- onae, wmenns fortunate, as irer aress i no less than a mile long behind. W reach tho chancel steps; the eight maids in blue slide before us eight youths in black. The bride and her special are next the rail, as per rehearsal. Miller and young Waldron are there ready to receive them. Wur-r-r-r!' that is the service." "Don't be flippant." said the audience, reprovingly. "I give you my word that was all that I heard of it Tho organ continues to play softly: the bride gives her hay htack to the special, and 'wur-r-r' on it oes. There is some juggling with the ring, and the bride's brother-in-law nearly dies of stage fright as he gives her away. Now they kuecL Well done! I see the benediction. Up again! Good! The organ roars its loudest, and thi; bride faces about without turning her train under side up, which is the master stroke of the performance, and sails down the aisle, Miller and all, while tho crowd simply grinds itself to little bit, and goes away piecemeal. "I think you are very frivolous." sbo commented, laughing. - "And I think that you are very un grateful. Have I not amused you and fought your blues with might and main?" "Yes, certainly: but" I "Do not distress yourself over my fri-1 i-olity; it was a frivolous wedding. No ! single person lucre was aweu or even serious not one. The bride was obliged to count the pews and be careful that hr-x train did not turn over. As for the crowd, they could hear nothing, and de voted themselves to trying to see, that they miiit not have come entirely in vain. We had two rehearsals, and I do assure you that the service is the very least part of. the whole." "I should not wish any one to say that of my wedding," she confessed, seri ously. "Nor I, he assented, speaking as seri ously, but with a daring light in bia eyes. "I shall try to have a very different kind if you approve." Five minutes later the grating of car riage wheels on the gravel drive at the other side of the house made itself heard, succeeded by hasty footsteps, which fol lowed the sound of a calling voice. "Papa, papa," cried the voice, "come here! Come here as quick as you can. Papa, this is Mr. Brooks, and be has asked me to marry him, and he kissed me, and won't say that he is sorry. Tell him your opinion of 6uch conduct." There was an instant of silence. A stern, steady gaze on the part of the older man; a firm front and as steady a gaze on that of the younger. Then this ter rible father, this tyrant with the violent temper, turned quietly toward his child and took her hand in his. "Tell me what you think of the re quest, little daughter," he said, bending over her, "and I, will tell Mr. Brooks what I think of the other." "You behaved magnificently," she said to her accepted sifitor. "If you had seemed a bit afraid, I should have been provoked with myself for caring for you. You see, I have never had a man friend who was not in terror if papa showed his face. Just because papa is splendid and silent, they fairly seem to grovel be fore him. So.when I found that you did not quake at the monstrous idea you had formed of him, I was tempted to see if you could be made to quake. It was a test, but I was on your side all the time, hoping that you would win." "A kind of fairy tale ending," ho said, laughing. "If the young man guesses the riddle, he marries the princess; if not, off with his head!" "With the difference that this young man would have married the princess in the end whether he had guessed the riddle or not Still, I like the fairy tale ending. Let us hope for that by all means. Do you know what it is? 'And they all lived happily ever after.' " The next morning, cf the young man in the fairy tale was flying on the wings of steam back to real life, Jie saj. wUh a small noto book before him, m which he had entered two words of an original composition only two words, but of such dazzling brilliancy as to be quite incapacitating for further mental effort. The words were, "Brooks Howard." Anne Richardson Earle in Harper's Bazar. Droa-a-Xickel Marwlnes la Genaaay. The drop-a-nickel-in-the-slot automa ton has been brought to a high degree of perfection in Germany. The weighing machine was generally wtroduced there before it was used in America. Similar machines for advertising and distribut ing candies and chocolate were common in all German cities some four years ago. In Berlin last fall automatons which sold buttonhole bouquets for 10 pfennigs (2i cents) apiece were placed in all the big hotels and beer gardens. The newest and most curious German auto maton sells cigars for 6 pfennigs (1T cents) apiece. Its mechanism is operated, how ever, by the nickel 10-pfennig piece; with each 6-pfennig cigar, therefore, it hands out to its patrons 4 copper pfen nigs change. The opera glass automa ton has not been introduced in Germany, because there opera glasses are so cheap that every one who can afford to goto the theatre has a pair. The chewing gum automaton is also unknown; Ger mans don't chew gum. New York Sun. Faaaias; the Haass of Fond MotherWell, my pet, did the great dramatic manager say you would qaickly be comeastarii yoa ilKMud adopt tbaatagsas a professioaf Ambitious Daagater WeD, not exactly, bat I thiakhaJateaos toaagags"' ioraaew domestic drassa ofaosaakfad. Ha told me to go aoaw sad lava to eook, Ktw York Tribune. OPENING BR 9.1, AT lO BARBER I DA7EIN. Mi July. 13ft St., Oil. Wmrstti Urttl THE STUB TAILED COW. Mr. HaaiHa Foraged far a Has daat Uwsola ToW a Story. Stories of President Lincoln's keen hu mor are seemingly inexhaustible. One, which I think has never appeared in print, comes from a man who held a prominent office under Lincoln, and who knew the great statesman well. At an official ball some thieves made off with many of, tho hats and overcoats of the guests, so that when the presidential party was ready to take leave Vice Presi dent Hamlin's head covering was not to be found. 'Til tell you what, Hamlin," said a friend; "early in the evening I saw a man, possessed of keen foresight, hide his lint upstairs. I am sure he would be willing to donate it to the administration,, and I will go and get it for you." When the hat was produced it was dis covered to be very much after the style affected by Ilamlin, but it bore a badge of mourning, which emblem the vice president ripped off with his penknife. The party stood chatting merrily as they waited for the carriages to be driven up, when a man stopped directly in front of Mr. Hamlin and stood staring at the "tile" with which liis head was covered. "What are you looking at, sir?" asked Hamlin sharply. "Your hat," answered the man mild ly. "If it had a weed on it I should say it was mine.' "Well, it hasn't got a weed on it, lias it?" asked the vice president "No, sir," said the hatless man, "it hasn't." "Then it isn't your hat, is it?" said the proud possessor of it. "No, I guess not," said the man as he turned to walk away. When this little scene was explained to President Lin coln he laughed heartily and said: "That reminds me, Hamlin, of a long time ago when I was pioneering and sol diering in Illinois and we put up a joke on some officers of the United States army. My party and I were a long way off from the comforts of civilized life, and our only neighbors were the garri son of a United States fort. We did pretty well for rations, had plenty of salt meat and flour, but milk was not to be had for love or money, and as we all longed for the delicacy we thought it pretty mean that the officers of the fort, who had two covs a stubbed tailed one and a black and white one offered us no milk, though we threw out many and strong hints that it would be acceptable. At last, after much consultation, we de cided to teach them a lesson and borrow or steal one of those cows, just as you choose to put it. But how it could be done without the cow being at once iden tified and recovered was the question. At last we hit on a plan. One of our party was dispatched a day's ride to the nearest slaughter house, where he pro cured a long red cow's tail to match the color of the Btub tailed cow, after pos sessing ourselves or which animal we neatly tied our purchase to the poor stub, and with appetites whetted by long ab stinence we drank and relished the sweet milk which 'our cow' gave. A few days afterward we were honored by a call from tho commander of the fort 'Say, boys,' said he, 'wo have lost one of our cows.' Of course we felt very sorry and expressed our regret accordingly. 'But,' continued the commander, 'I came over to say that if that cow of yours had a stub tail I should say it was ours.' " 'But she hasn't a stub tail, has she? asked we, sure of our point " 'No,' said the officer, 'she certainly has not a stub tail.' " 'Well, she isn't your cow then,' and our argument was unanswerable as was Hamlin's." Washington Cor. New York Tribune. Earnlas Bis College Coarse. Speaking of snobbishness, the Listener h glad to have occasion to note a case of old fasliioned manly absence of that anpleasant reality. Spending a Sunday recently with a friend in a very delight ful summer resort not far away, when a good many pleasant cottages have been, built on a cliff commanding a fine view of the summer sea, the Listener happen ed to be sitting on the veranda with his friend as a milkman's wagon drew up in the street The milkman, a sturdy young fellow, of pleasant face, dismounted, rang a bell by way of warning to the maids of the vicinity to get tbeirpitchers ready, and then started around with his cansand his pint measure. As he passed around to the back door of the cottage, the Listener's friend saluted him aa one gentleman salutes another. And when the milkman had gone the other said: "That young man is a member of the class of fM) at Harvard college." "Indeed?" "Yes. He is carrying himself through entirely by bis own exertions, and be takes this way of helping himself out 1 dare say he makes enough money selling milk at a good figure to the people bars in the summer time to pay the greater part of his expenses for the remainder of the year at Cambridge," "Does he water his milk?" "Not perceptibly. It is very good milk, and I have no doubt he is as honest as the business allows." There was a young man In the house who belongs to the class below the milk man's in college, and he testified, to the excellent standing of the young man at Harvard. Such an incident is one of a good many which go to prove that Harvard men ara by no means all idle swells. Perhaps there is not nearly so large a proportion of students at Harvard who earn easy in the summertime by table waiting at the mountain and seaside resorts as at Dartmouth .or Aashezst. but tbara art Cwtf rial Bart, Cihrtw, Nkatka. j J certainly a good many men mere who earn every cent of their college expenses. Boston-Transcript A BUa; Steamer's Twhs When Capt Watkina. of the City of Paris, left Queenstown on the 25th of last month and started oat a course fifty nino miles shorter than his famous run shorter because he ran northward where the world grows smaller and came down over the shoulder of "the great globe we inherit," taking any possible chance there might be of fogs and ice in cross ingthe banks of Newfoundland at this season the engine were put at full i speed, and for something over four days i they were driven at the average rate of i ninety revolutions of the screws per j minute. There was a variation from ! eighty-six to ninety-two revolutions. When the furnaces were opened to be cleaned the intensitv of the steam would be diminished for a few minutes and the speed of the screws reduced to eighty six turns in the minute. It will be noted that the average speed was three revo lutions in two seconds, and the screws are twenty feet in diameter. It is aston ishing that this velocity can be main tained day and night without a second's waiting and avoid developing excessive and crippling heat The fact that thirty men are employed to pour oil upon the bearings and all pjirts where tlie friction is severs will perhaps account in part for tlie phenom ena, but certainly only the greatest per fection of material, and tlie most deli cate adaptation of one part to the other, could provide for such a strain without disaster. I doubt whether so startling a test of integrity and absolute exactitude in manufacture can be found in any other machinery. During the late run of the City of Paris the wind, was so strong from the north one afternoon as to give the ship a decided lift elevating the larboard screw so that at each turn the blades threw showers of spray with a dazzling rush far behind the vessel. There are four blades in the screw, re volving three times in two seconds so there were six white surges per second dashed to the winds, and a fine reminder of the snowy rapids of Niagara. M. Halstead's "On the Bounding Billows." A Sea Seat. A monkey and a half grown kitten that lived in the same house in New York furnished much entertainment to the family by their pranks, or rather by the monkey's pranks, to which the kitten submitted as if she liked them. The monkey was chained so that pass could easily keep out of his way if she chose, but many times a day she strayed carelessly within his reach. She might be careless, but he was riot; he knew the instant she crossed the line into his do minion, and pounced on her, snatching at a leg, an ear or the tail, always if pos sible the latter, which ha sesiad to re gard as a convenient handle. Then be gan the frolics; he shook her till her teetb chattered it is to be supposed: he hugged her till she cried; he swung her by the tail; climbed with her to the top of his post, and held bar like1 a baby while he dressed her far aftevm fashion poked apart her toss, examined her ears, and otherwise interested himself in her anat omy. But his crowning delight was to sit on her. Holding her. down to the ground with one firm little hand, be deUbsrately planted himself on her warm, soft, fui covered ribs at if she had been a cushion. Though he was not very big, being about twice the sbwof the kitten, and she had her slaws, the ase of which would instantly release her, she often let htm enjoy his comfortable seat till the family interfersd. Youth's Companion. A Tawa Aettially Palate Advance agents,-who are the hustlers who usually originata-the new -ideas la advertismg, are seldom afraid of the legal coasequences of their acta. They often run Jong caances. jroc laataacs, a little while ago a piece called "Paintia TEr Bed" was produced fa Saa'fraa cisco. The agent of the show could think of nothing better to attract attention to his performance than to paint every lamp post utiie principal part of town red and to bessaear the fountain that Lotto donated to the city with the sanft color. Next morning vast indignation of the whole populace, and a packed bouse in the evening. Uafortuaately, the play itself did not carry out the excellent in tentions of the-advertising agent, who was hauled up next morning, whan, to the surprise of the judge in the case, no statute could be found that would perssit them to punish him. They even had to pay the price of cleaning their own lamps and their fountain. But they are waiting, with an eagerness that ao words can describe, for tha next adver tising agent to paint something New York Journal. TttofsfTi Tbe quauties or dinereas v are worth knowing In thaaariag. Ao- cording to one authority, celery upon the aetroas system, aad it is a cure for rtieamaAissa and neuralgia. To saatoes stimulate tbe liver, aad spinach aad common dandelion, prepared ia the same way, have a direct effect on dis eases of tbe kidneys. Onions, garlic aad olives promote digestion by stimulatiag the circulatory system, with tha conse quent increase of the saUva aad gastric juice. Baw onions are ahorsgardsd as a remedy for iliPflnssf, aad the French ballsve that onion soap is mm excaUsat toafc in cases of debility of the dagestive organs. HaiTs Journal of Bff Strikes DM Not Worry Hiss. Peter Conver, who used to run a paper in Forest" county, Pa., never had but one strike during his lifetime. One day the devil was commissioned to announco to Conver that the only printer on tho paper, and the only one in the county, was on strike for back PJ- "Very well," said Conver. "Just issue a circular to our subscribers stating that, on account of the death of our grand mother, there will be no paper issued from this office for six weeks. Our sub scribers are entitled to this rest, any how, and we will save expenses for six weeks. Seer "After that what?" inquired tho deviL "If tlie printer does not capitulate by I that time, wo will issue another circular j that our mother-in-law lias died, and : the oflce will be draped in mourning and business suspended for the usual time. We can hold out as long as our relations last" Then Conver would buy enough whis key to keep him drunk for two months at least New York World. Make aa Mistake. By dispelling the symptoms so often mistaken for Consumption. SANTA .iBIE has brought gladness to many a Household. By its prompt use for break ing up the cold that too often develops into that fatal disease, thousands can be eared from an untimely grave. You make no mistake by keeping a bottle of this pleasant remedy in your house. CALI FORNIA CAT-R-CURE is equally ef fective in eradicating all traces of Nasal Catarrh. Both of these wonderful Cali fornia remedies are sold and warranted by Dowty k Becher. $1.00 a package, 3 for $50. Mystery magnifies danger, aa a fog the sun. A Weaaa's Dtoceverr. "another wonderful discovery bus aeen made and that too by a woman in this county. Disease fastened its clutch es upon her and for seven years she withstood its severest tests, but her vital organs were undermined and death seemed imminent For three mouths she coughed incessantly and coul J not sleep. Sbo bought of us a bottle of Dr. King's Now Discovery for Consumption and was so much relieved on ttsking tirt dose that she slept all night end with one bottle has been miraculously cured. Her name ia Mrs. Luther Lutz." Thni vita W. C. Hsmrick & Co, ot Shelby N. C get a free trial bottle at David Dowty's drug store. The night shows stars and women in a better light The Verikt Paaalaea. W. D. Suit, druggist, Bippus, Ind., testifies: fl can recommend Electric Bitters as tha very best remedy. Every bottle sold has given relief in every case. One man took six bottles, and was cured of Rheumatism of 10 years' standing." Abraham Hare, druggist, Belleville, Ohio, aiirms: "The best sell ing medicine I have ever handled in my 90 years' experience, is Electric Bitters." .Thousands of others have added their testimony, so that tbe verdict is unani mous that Electric Bitters do cure all discs sen of the Liver, Kidneys or Blood. Only a half dollar a bottle at David Dowty's drug store. Let them obey that know how to rule. An Asssiste Care The ORIGINAL ABIETINE OIN'a MENT is only put up in large two-ounce tin boxes, and is an abaolatreara for old sores, buna, wounds, chapped hands aad all kinds of skin eruptions. Will positively cure all kinds of piles. Ask for tbe ORIGINAL ABinNE OINTMENT Sold by Dowty Becher at 25 cents per box by mafl 90 cents. marly Adversity's sweet milk philosophy. Ceasanatiea Barely Care. To tms Eoitob Please inform your readers that I have a positive remedy for the above named disease. By its timely ase thousands of hopeless caeca have been permanently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my reme dy fkee to any of your readers who have consumption if they will send me their express and post once address. Respect fully, T. A. Sloccm, M. G, 181 fearl street. New York. 30y A falling drop will at last carve a stone Baeklea's Antra Sa've. The best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi tively cures piles, or no pay required. It is garaateed to give perfect satisfac tion, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale by David Dowty. 3 A book ofies paces. Tbe best book for aa advertiser to eoa satt, be be experi enced or otherwise. eoattlas lists of newspepets and estimates Man root nfnilTrrriTlnr Th"'1 "T " - -lass to saead oae dollar. lnd la it tbe In- i be requires, wane ntrmmwao wni baadrsd taoasaau aonarsiaau i sebease Is ladicstod which will mwmrtr I IrilBSflBl III laaTlSISifr ,Ugtu3s2n.v seat, aoat-nald. to say adSiess for IS ceats. treble to GEO. P. BOWEXI. A CO, rorsrAFZK ADVKSXH0U KlBAU. a as.j.aswz9sv it r SPECIAL! K FIRST FLOOR: SIUS, VELVETS, Dress Goods! TAKE LINENS, HKSTiCS, CIS, BIDS. Latin' & Sorts' fcfcrwur, Gents Fmrmishimcs, KIBBONS. Ladies' Misses' and CMMrMfs Cloaks and Shawls. ' SECOND FLOOR: ' CARPETS, UPHOLSTERY MILLINERY EST We show over '0 aew Fall aadWiater stjlea ia ladies Miasos' ami Children's OUTER" GARMENTS. prOne or oBrgreei specialties ia oar DRESS GOOD DEl'-UrTMEN-rT It will always be full of BAKOA1.N3 sad complete is STYLES. BARBER &DAYKIN: SfeA0 -F.ronchiti5.s anAB,SM"SESOAT'V ;SendJor Ctrcu.jr.ptrtoWi3hr9.g.. JAB1LTINE : MEDtaoOTJi. ul. hrAttr UnltS j,r 9.2- ua THE 0 NLY- .TtciTMwr!' I l-PTwy. .n ... .... CURE TOR e.waJW.Cit.ciiAi CATARRH wncriNEHEnm OROVILLECAL SIITI ABIE anoCIT-R-CME rOKHALKBY DOWTY A BECHER. Tnule aiilinl hj th II. T. Cutsx Dhi;u Co.. Lincoln. NU 7m.irS8-ly. SCOTT'S EMULSION OFNKCODLWEIOIL . jg HYPOPHOSPHITES Almost m PaJatabtoM Milk. 8 tfissHttee aaaa at ems a tah dlgesterf. asWI asalaslamal ay tHe samstttva aSaaaaa. wfeass taa jMal csauut fee Satersueat aasl sy Um ktaatssai mt ta all wMm UM fcjrn aau as Meat leaaaTtasb) w a Ferssas gan natty viae taUsg H, SCOTTS EMULSION is acknowledgedby Physicians to be tho Finest and Best prspa return ia the world for the relief and ears of consumption, caorui.A, GENERAL DEBILITY, WASTING DISEASES, EMACIATION, COLDS and CHRONIC COUGHS. The grtat remedy for (bnsvmptia, aad Wtutinj in CkMrtn. Suld by all LrugtfsU. CATARRH Try the Cure Ely's Cream Bal m Clflsmaoa tholfaaalPiiBBasraa Al lays Tjiflainmaticm. Heals the Sores: Beatare3 tho Seneca of Taato, Smell and. Hearing. . A particle ieayaejlaiasaliasstinaa4 la aarceaUe. FrieafiOe. aC w-iaaahis as- ay .ELYlOTnrasWsmaSbJiew Xotav PRINCIPAL POINTS EAST, WEST, NORTH and SOUTH AT- U. P. Depot, Columbus. 13martf PATENTS Csveslssad Trade Harks obtained. :ir. 1 ail Fat ent bosiasss ooadarfwl fur MODKlCAl'r: FKK3. OUR OFF1CK IM OPPOSITE U. l-. I Vl'KNT. OFFICE. We ban ao uubwuucicts .!! I-uxinees direct, eases we esa transact ttnt buiuaeea ia leMtiBMaadatLKjaCOST than thos isssota. frosa Washiaafoa. Head model, drawing, of photo, with deseria tioa. We advise if palatable or sot,' bmo of caarse. Oar fee sot doe till osteat is ttimtti. A book. "How to Obtain Psteais." wjaainisr. aaees to actual clients is joar state, eoaatyor tows, seat free. Address z&yss&st ssg (C7 sksf . rl ylllllis r . uf mar a.y &. x M em. aaaa a eja COLOlfe&MS mi mSB1' matm HEAP.Jr "aMMaftfiPSMai mmPPS MTiu uywsn o" WtQfjiM TO AT.T. V -i c yp f :. . -,, -S--32'.teSP3: L-.i; 4iS?Zr' i sess V' V- ?bL Jri. -j.. ii . - v 4..- je ' J3, -f . &?. && yaffef gLf,,,-I tS- I" u-f . -Mr.; tr a -.. "Stf "-T .g. av. rj;..- r C .. i