Nebraska Newspapers

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JL Talk with Vm
There are some things in the last
letter of your Denver correspondent,
thattfe well worth the thoughtful
otiMlteation of farmers.
." 3ffifMmPortapt perhaps is, that
'''IC'Mr onr intere8'8 looked a'-
ft-tAraCMst look after them our-
VrVi
5-.JBB8iDeB8 men nor politicians
! -
Nebraska is now only an agricul
tural state, bnt I, expect to live to see
the day whenit will take its place as
the foremost" agricultural slate in the
Union. Our geographical location,
our climate, our soil and not least t:e
character of the prominent settlers in
our rural districts, I think, ful
jietify of such expectations. But
this most honorable place is to be
gained only by our own Intelligent
effort. Most of us have been kept i
hard work sinco we commenced on
the virgin prairies, while those in
other occupations have made uee of
combined effort to the advantage of
thoir several interests. We have
confined ourselves too closely to o n
individual interests. But now wo
are getting where we have more leis
ure and wo will read more and tbi-ik
more, and begin to look luto tbe-i-public
matters for ourselves more.
And when we do thu we will eeq
that our interests will bo better cvi
erved. Our influence will be felt
more in both local and state politics.
That it is in the power of farmers to
shape, to a large extent, the public
matters of our state, there is no ques
tion. And this 1b aa it should be.
Their interests are by far the most
important. Our sister agricultural
states understand this matter. As an
instance, down in Kansas the busi
uesH of the courts had eo increased
that it was thought there wa too much
work for the three judge?, and last
summer the lawyers, instead of net
ting about to see bow the business
could be expedited, insisted upon
having two additional j udgeB. Tni
doubtless would have beeu grautc:!
by the. people, but those directly in
terested had the amendment also nak
ed for f.n inureustf of salary from $3,000
to JfS.OUO each. The matter wad
fcubniitied to ilia people at the tall
election and wan most heavily sat
down upon. And uow the farmer?
and their most excellent stato paper
are being severally belabored for de
feating the measure. Their plea is
that they could see no good reason
for increasing the salaries of the
judges so long U9 it was generouB in
proportion to the leciuneration re
ceived b; those in other occupations.
In the same state the farmers think it
no more than right that they should be
represented in their state legislation
in proportion to their interest?. The
result is a largo majority of that body
is made up of practical farmers.
And this is what we should have in
Nebraska. Railroad interest are
comparatively concentrated, and they
have plenty of ready cash or its
equivalent and can afford to use law
yers or business men or even tarmert
to look after tbeir legislative work.
Wo farmei s cannot do this ; we are too
scattered to direct what wo wani
done, aud besides wo lack in having
the proper inducements at hand, to
have outsiders look alter our aGuirs
buccessiuity. Wo must send men
from our own calling to do it. I don't
meau nominal farmers, who are more
interested in politics than in their
business. A dabbling farmer politi
cian is otteu ot the most unreliable
sort. 1 mean men who are generally
interested in (heir calling, intelligent
suough to understand its intercels
aud independent niwl brave enough
to btand by them.
Now as to railroads. I caunot join
in ti.it mdibcriminate cry againti
them. They are net an unmixed
evil, and it id neither just nor wise to
loose eijiht of the good thoy have
donu and ate doing us, while we de
nounce tho evils that really do exi. t
in their uiiimge:ntut. During the
past 20 years transportation from
Chicago to New York has decieHs.-l
from thiee and torty-five-hundreth
cunts to sixty-eight-huudreth of a cent
per ton per iniic. While In Ohio la..t
tummr-r I met many discouraged
farmers. They told me that ihc
could not longer compete with u in
the west. 1 had Juet sold fat nogs in
the Columbus market tor as much as
they were bringing in towns there,
situated on a maiu line road to Nen
York. Bu: cattle wore not worl.
more than one-halt a cent per pound
more than here. I was gettiug &i
much for my butter heie as the boe
dairjmen were getting there. Who.
and corn brought moro than here bu1
the difference in price, even of the,
bulky giains was not nearly so tunc
as the diffeiecce in the cobt o; rui-.
ing.
Now it h the railroads that bavt
made it possible for Nebraska farm
ers to compete favorably with Ohio
and New York farmers, and we
should give them credit for it. At
the same time these railroad corpora
tions are becoming powerful, and in
ome instances are making use of
their power to our disadvantage, and
we need to see to it that we have 6uch
legislators as will look after our
righti.
The out look for favorable railroad
legislation certainly looks encour
tiging now. The interstate commerc
bill or which Mr. Millett speaks wi.
doubtless pass before the present set
f:ob of congress closes. This wi:
prohibit pooling-rebates and discrim
natioBF, and regulate other matters t
great importance with shipping o
freights. This, with the recent de
iiciicof Judge Greebam ot the' U.
S. conrt at Chicago, by which be se
verely cripples Jay Gould and other
railroad magnates in one of the mot:
gigantic attempt8 OI fraud evcr Per
petiated in this country will tend ...
ftiflen the back bones of our state
legislator so that we may look ftr
tone work in the right direction
frothe.
A to the eBtership, whllellr.
Van Wyck has made mistakes, it
seems to me there is no question but
that he can do more for us In the next
six years than any other man that
can possibly be put in his place, and
I am satisfied this is the opinion of a
very large majority of the farmers of
this, state, who are intelligent in the
matter and are unbiased in their
judgment. J. II. K.
Daa't Kxperlaaeat.
You cannot afford to waste time
experimenting when your lungs are
in danger. Consumption always
seems, at first, only a cold. Do not'
let any dealer impose upon you with
tome cheap imitation of Dr. King's
New Discovery for Consumption,
Coughs and Colds, but be euro you
get the genuine. Because he can
make more profit he may tell ou
he has something just an good, or
just the same. Don't be deceived,
but insist on getting Dr. King's New
Discover)7, which is guaranteed to
give relief in all Throat, Lung and
Chest affectionn. Trial bottle free at
Dowty & Heitkemper'fi drug store.
It is stated that Germauy, France,
UusBia and Turkey are iu accord ou
tho Bulgarian question.
Gkeat stir has already commenced
at Denver gettiug ready tor the
grand inauguration of thoir Governor-elect
Alva Adams, which comh
offllJan., '87.
Mb. F. H. Goodrich, a'tS. Louis
Traveling Man, representing the
Graham Paper Co., contribute the
following, it may be ol value to you:
"I have beeu troubled with colds and
soreness of the breast the past year
and find groat relief in Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy. 1 cheerfully recom
mend it to any ore troubled with
coughs or colds, give it a tri::i." L.
Harry, a merchant of Sweet Uomi,
Mo., has aUo usod it tor several
years and knows its value; he says
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy never
fails to j-ive quick relief, and thai ho
always keeps it in the Iioum and
would not be without it for five
time- its cost. Sold by Dow t &
Hei'ketnper
It is claimed that a ll iwiny; oil vell
has been diecoveicd near Ulysses,
Butler county.
Mavd 111. I.lfo.
Mr. D. I. Wilcoxsou, of Horse
Cave, Ky., says he was, for many
years, badly afflicted with Phthisic,
also Diabete?; the pains were almost
unendurable and would sometimes
almost throw him into convulsions.
He tried E ectric Bitters and got re
lief from first bottle aud after tak
iug nix bottles, was eirirely cured,
and he gained in fieb eighteen
pounds. Says he positively believes
ho would have died, had it not been
for tho relief afforded by Electric
Bitters. Sold at fifty cents a bottle
by Dowty & Heitkemper.
Next month has been fixed upon
for St. John to talk prohibition to
Nebraskans.
A Flut Contradiction.
Some oua has told you that your
catarrh is incurable. It is not so. Dr
Sage's Catarrh Remedy will cure it.
It is pleasaut Jo use aud it always
does its work thoroughly. Wo have
yet Jo hear of a case in which it did
not accomplish a euro whr-n faithful
ly used. Catarrh is a disease which
it is dangerous to neglect. A certain
remedy is at your command. Avail
yourself of it before the complaint
assumes a more seriouB form. All
drnggists.
A coal cornpam ie a new organi
zation at Red Cloud.
The Caaxe or Consumption.
Scrofula, manifesting itself in
blotches, pimples, eruptions, salt
rhein, and other hlcumhe ot the
skin, ia but too apt by aud by to infect
the dr-Iicato tissues of the lungs also,
and result in tilceintion thus ending
iu consumption. Dr. Pierce.' ''Gol
den Medical Discovery" will meet
and vanish tho enemy in its strong
hold of the blood and ca6t it out of
the system. AH druggists.
Tiieke are now seventy-soven or
ganized counties iu this state and
eighteen of them aro under township
organization.
The Population oTCeluinlms
Is about 3,000, anil we would say at leant
one half are troubled with some affection
of the Throat and Lunga, as thoe com
plaints are, according to statistics, more
numerous than others. We would ad
vise all not to neglect the opportunity to
call on ub and get a bottle of Kemp's
Balaam for the Throat and Lungs. Price
Wc and $1.00. Trial site free. Kcs
peet fully. Dr. A. Hcintz.
KtrouT comes from San Francisco
that tweuty-seven persons were
drowned by the wreck of the Atlan
.ic near the biter place.
Sylvester Gkanda, has been cap
tured at Kansas City, another man
implicated in the Haddock murder
case.
A Great Surprise
Is iu ctore for all who use Kemp's Bal
s nm for the Throat and Lungs, the great
guaranteed remedy. Would you believe
that it is sold on its merits and that
each druggist is authorized to refund
your money by the Proprietor of this
wonderful remedy it it fails to cure you.
Dr. A. Helntz has secured the Agency
for it. Price 50c and $1. Trial site Jree.
it is stated that a counterfeit $20
silver note has been put into circula
tion, and detected by tbe secret
e vice.
Itch, Prairie Mange, and Scratches
ot every kind cured in 30 minutes by
Wool ford's Sanitary Lotion. Use no
'her. This never fails. Sold bj
C B. SMIlman, druggist, Columbus.
McQcADr, ot New York. City, was
finally loand guilty after the jury
had deliberated less than half as
hour. .
Chahbeblain's Colic, Cholera and
DiarrboBt Remedy never falls and is
pleasant and safe. Sold ky Dowty A
Ueltkemper.
A TRAIN DISPATCHER'S
STORY.
Several .years ago T was employed as
train dispatcher on a southwestern
American railroad. As usual there
were three of us in the office. I had
what is called the second trick," my
hours of duty being from 4 p. m. to 12
p.-m. Tho 'third man. Charlie Burns,
who came on at, midnight and worked
till 8 a. m., was a particular frieud of
mine. He was a young man of high
character, a fine dispatcher, and very
popular; aud when, during the burning
days of July, it became known among
the men that he was confined to his
room by a severe attack of malignant
fever, many were the expressions of re
.gret and of hope for hisspeedy recovery.
During the trying days of Charlie's
illness r spent alb the time I could
spare by his side, but on account of his
absence from the office it-was necessary
for the remaining two of us to "double
up" that is, work twelve hours each,
my watch-being from 8 p. in. to 8 a. m.
I came on duty ono evening feeling
very bad. The weather was so warm X
could not sleep well in the daytime; "be
sides, I had spent a considerable part
of the day with Charlie, whose illness
had now reached a critical stage, and
seemed to show little prospect of im
provement. Hence, as you may imagine, 1 was
not at all pleased to find that I -was
likely to have a busy night of it. A
wreck on the road during the day had
thrown all tho regular trains off time,
and besides the usual number of special
freights there was 'a special passenger
train to leave Linwood, the eastern
terminus of our division, at 11 p. m.
with a large party of excursionists re
turning from a picnic. For several
hours I bad my hands fulL There was
a special tram of live stocc bound east
which had to be kept moving, but was
being delayed by hot journals; never
theless, I hoped to get them into Lin
wood before the excursion train started
west
As usually happens in such cases, the
excursion train did not get ready to
leave on time, and it was 11:40 p. m.
when they reported for orders at Lin
wood. 1 fixed up their orders, got the
report of their departure from Linwood
at 11:45, and entered it on the train
sheet Then, having' for the first time
that night a few minutes breathing
time, I rose from the table and went
over and seated myself by the window,
where- it was cooler than under the
heated gas-jets over the table. I was
alone in the office, and as I sat there
enjoying the cool brceza which came in
through the open window a neighbor
ing church clock raug out the hour of
12. From force of habit 1 glanced at
the door, almost oxpecting to hear
Charlie's light footstep on the stair aud
see the door open to admit him as of
old.
-Poor fellow," I thought, "it will be
:i long time before he enters that door
agaiu. if he ever does." Just at the
last stroke of 12, and while my eyed
were still fixed on the door, it opened
and Charlie Burns entered. My aston
ishment may be imagined better than I
can describe it My first thought was
that in the delirium of fever be had
escaped from his nurses and made his
way to the office, but when 1 left him a
few hours before 1 could not have be
lieved that he had strength to get odt of
bod. I sat and watched him in speech
'less surprise, which was increased by
his strange mauner.
Instead of his usual hearty greeting
ho took no notice of mo at all, but
walked directly to the table and snt
down.. Placing his hand upon the key
he began calling 'Q," which was the
signal for Elm Grove, the first station,
six miles west of Linwood. "I, I. Q."
came the response. "Put out signal
for speeial passenger west and copy."
"Ro," "Ro," "Ds," rang out tho sound
er with Charlie's nimble fingers upon
the key. "Ro'' was the call for Rose
dole, the second station from Linwood,
eight miles west of Elm Grove. "L L
Ro," came back the answer.
"Is special east coiniug? Ds."
Then, as I sat by the window as one
paralyzed, the awful truth flashed
across my mind. I had overlooked the
stock train, thundering eastward twenty
miles an hour, and made no provision
for its meeting the excursion train. My
blood seemed turned to ice as I heard
the reply:
"They are at the switch. Ro."
Another minute and it would have
been too late.
Still apparently oblivious of my pres
ence, Charlie reached for the order-book
with his left hand, while his right con
tinued to manipulate the key, and 1
heard the sounder click:
Out signal and copy Ds.
Order No. 734.
To C. and E. Eng. 34 Ro.
C and E. Eng. 19 O.
Special cast eng. 34 will take siding
anu meet special west eng. at Hosedale.
12 J. W. M.
Quick as a flash came back the re
sponse from each station, and in less
time than it takes me to write it the
order had been repeated and signed by
the conductor and engineer of each
train, while Charlio copied it into the
order-book and returned his "O. K."
Then, as I realized that I was saved
and a great disaster averted, tho revul
sion of feeling was too much for my
overstrained nerves, and I lost con
sciousness. An hour after 1 was awakened by a
familiar voice, and looked up to find
Frank Dwyer, one of our conductors,
who had volunteered to watch that
night with Charlie, standing over me.
"Wake up. old man," said Tie, "1 have
bad news for you. Charlie died just as
the clock was striking 12."
I roused myself and went to th'
table. There on the order-book was the
order just as I had heard it clicked ou
by the sounder, and "Ro" was calling
me to report the two trains safely by
Had I been drcamiug and sent the order
in my sleep, or had my friend redeemed
his promise?
Tho writing in the order-book was in
his hand, and I have never been able to
account for it Detroit Free Press.
How the Thistle Defends Itseir.
On the other hand, the -thistle family
are far more truly rural and agricul
tural in their habits, being deuizens of
the open fields and meadows, less de
pendent than the nettles upon richness
of soil, aud readily accommodating
themselves to all vacant situations.
Hence they have only felt the need of
arming themselves in a rough-and-ready
prickly fashion against the prob
able assaults of their natural enemies.
They have forged darts, but have not
learned to poison them. Their prickly
leaves and wings arc nmplv sufficient
for defense, without the necessity for
developing a virulent juice, to be in
jected into the very veins of their sav
age aggressors. Natural selection can
never push any special line of evolution
further than i's imperatively called for
by the wants and circumstances of tbe
particular species. It always necessari
ly leaves off just at the point where the
protection afforded is fully sufficient to
guard the kind from the possibility of
extinction. The thistles have found in
actual practice that prickles alone are
quite enough to secure their boasted
immunity from extraneous attacks; tbe
nettles have practically discovered for
themselves that without stings they
would soon be landed in the final limbo
of utter nonentity. Mr. Grant Allen, in
Popular ScUncc'Monlhly.
Base-baller'Cto poker player) "Well,
the clubs made it livefv for the bovs
this afternooB." Poker player 'Two
dubs? What fool drew to rmF And
tiled, did ber-r Jtemftfer.
How to Read.
Nobody can be sure that lie' has got
clear ideas on a subject unless he has
tried to put them down on ax piece of
paper in independent words. of his own.
It is an excel Ion t plan, too, when you
-have read a good book, to sit down ami
write a short abstract of what you can
remember of it. It is a still hotter pinu.
if you can make .up your mind to a
slight extra labor, to do what Lord
Stafford and Gibbon and Daniel Web
ster did. After glancing over tho title;
subject, or design of a book, these
eminent men would take a pen and
write roughly what questions they ex
pected to find answered in it, what
difficulties solved, what kind of infor
mation imparted. Such practices keep
us from reading with tho eye only,
gliding vaguely over tho paire, and they
elp us to place our new acquisitions iu
relation with what wo know before, it
is almost always worth while to read a
thing twice over, to make sure that
nothing has been missed or dropped on
the way, or wrongly conceived or inter
preted. And if the subject be serious,
it is often well to let an interval elapse.
Ideas, relations, statements of fact are
not to be taken by storm. We have to
steep them in the mind, in tho hope of
thus extracting their inmost essence and
significance. If one leu an interval
Eass, and then returns, it is surprising
ow clear and ripe that has become
which, when wo left it, seemed crude,
obscure, aud full of perplexity.
All this takes trouble, no doubt; but,
then, it will not do to deal with ideas
that we find in books or elsewhere as a
certain bird does with its eggs leaves
them in the sand for the suu to batch
and chance to fear. People who follow
this plau possess nothing better than
ideas half-hatched and convictions rear
ed by accident. Thoy are like a man
who should pace up and down tbe
world in the delusion that he is clad in
sumptuous robes of purple and velvet,
when in truth he is only half covered
by the rags and tatters of other people's
cast-off olothes. John Morlcy.
m
Orthodox I:v tucket.
Some time a;o the Pawtucket ortho
dox church was in need of some repairs
and embellish ments. and a carpenter
was sent aloft to patch up the steeple
and put it in thoroughly good shape.
Tbe reluctanc; of the weather-vane to
record the changes of the wind had long
been proverbial iu the town, and the
carpenter elimSmd clear up to see if he
could find out what was tin; matter with
it What was his astonishment to dis
cover that a screw had been put J h rough,
apparently in recent year.-, in such a
way as to impinge upon the pivot and
prevent tiie vane from turning except
under very great pressure.
The carpenter was astonished .that
such au attempt should he deliberately
made to cripple the church vane and
impair its usefulness, but he thought be
fore ho removed the screw he would re
port the mattet and see whether by any
chance it had been put there by au
thority. So he appealed to Deacon X..
the most prominent member of the
board of trustees, and told him tbe dis
covery. "Have you any idea how the screw
came there, deacon?" the carpenter
asked in closing his story.
"Yes, I have," said the deacon.
"Why. how.was it?"
"I ordered it put there mvsclf. We're
an orthodox church here. I want you to
understand, aud we don't want our
weather vano to go whiflin' 'round with
everv breath no niore'n we do. I order
ed that screw put m so's it should take
an all-hred breeze to make it
Boston Record.
"-
Escapes From Siberian Priaonan
The Russian police are said to be
growing nervous over the frequent es
capes from Siberia this year. The few
who have ventured to return to St. Pet
erhurg have been recaptured and re
turned, but the majority have made
their way to Geneva auu London, and
the plotting against the government has
been renewed with redoubled fervor.
Since June at least twenty Siberian
prisoners have escaped, including two
cavalry officers and beveral students,
some of them escapiug by tbe way of
Cambodia. The precautions which are
observed throughout Siberia are so
striugent that tho government is per
suaded that the escapes could not have
been effected without connivance with
the prison officials.
So great a commotion has been
caused by these repeated jail-deliveries,
that a Bpecial commission has been sent
to Siberia to inquire into their causes,
and to reorganize the eutire system of
prison government. A number of high
officials, under whoso charge the es
caped prisoners were, have been sus
pended, aud some officers, who were
either criminally negligent or else as
sisted in releasing the prisoners, have
been arrested and thrown into prison.
The refugees report that the Siberian
prisons and mines are crowded with ex
iles. Disease is rampant, and scurvy is
especially severe, 1 he mortality, they
say, is frightful. The nihilists are
greatly excited and rojoiced over the
many escapes, but declare that they
will not strike again until they are sure
of their mark.
Mrs. Cleveland's Social Assistants.
Mrs. Cleveland will have some lovely
young ladies inside the cabinet circle to
assist her iu her receptions this winter.
The Misses Bayard will appear very sel
dom in public, nut their places will be
filled by the Misses Mauning. Eudieott,
Vilas, and Lamar. Miss Vilas is hard
ly a debutante yet. but will bo allowed
to take part in the festivities in a limited
degree.
Miss Mauning, tho secretary's daugh
ter, who is ''just out," ib quite attractive.
She assisted her stepmother at her re
ception last season, and was quite popu
lar. Miss Eudieott is a full-fiowu so
ciety lady now, and is verv elegant and
stately in her manner and movement.
The prettiest one of them all is Miss
Jennie Lamar, the debutante daughter
of the Mississippi secretary. Her moth
er died over two years ago, and she hat
been living with her married sister in
Memphis, Teun., until this fall. She is
18, tall, graceful, and bright Her hair
is golden and iter eyes a rich-hued
hazel. She has the gentle ways aud
tender, poetic expression of the runny
south. She will be the belle tbiwinter,
and will present a charming contrast in
blonde points to Mrs.' Cleveland as they
stand in line to receive their fellow-citizens.
Minneapolis Journal.
WIT ASO
jjci
fOll.
"What is the PotterV. Field?" asks a
correspondent It seeius to be reading
'Ostler Joe." Rambler.
A new book is out called "A Girl's
Room." It is not so pxxl as her com
pany. New Orleans'ticayune.
It -takes nine tailors to make a man.
but one tailor can make a woman that
is. he can make bef. proud. Philadel
phia Call.
What we want is not to see ourselves
as others see us. We want to have
others see us as we. see ourselves.
Somervillc Journal.
First oyster "Whe
r are we?" Sec
a church." "A
ond ovster "This ,'fe
church? What do A
want with both
of us, I wonderP" A,
urg Dispatch.
aavs a writer.
"Take her all aroun
"she is the best prodi
t of her sex."
xes. out am tnarKril
the expense of tatlng
ever think of
r all around?
new uaven Aem.
At' the examination foi
the bacealaot
reate decree, tb
of Physics
asked the candidate
Wfljat if th h
insulator known?" "Poverty," was the
reply. French Fan.
A scientific journal gives au example
of "weight sutained by vacuum." It
must be this sanm forcu that prevents
the top of a nude's bead from falling
' in. S'euf Haven New.-!.
Young husband (to wife) "Didn't I
telegraph you not to bring your mother
with you?" Young wife "I know.
That's what she wants to ace you about
j She reail the telegram." Texn$ 8ifi-
ittgs.
"Pa, what's this that's always. in the
I papers headed Fotuign and Domestic'P
Can a thing be foreign and domestic.
tooP" "No. my son, of course not."
j "Yes it can, too. Look at Bridget."
' Rambler.
I Marv Anderson advises young wo
men to have nothing to do with private
theatricals. She says they have a bad
effect ou tho nerves. We have noticed
.this in the case of audiences. New
Uaven News.
Friend (to young artist) Isn't your
shirt a little ragged, Charley? Young.
Artist I'm afraid it is. Friond Well,
whv don't you change UP Young Art
istBecause the other one is ragged,
too. N. F. 8un.
"My pen is weary, I shall write no
more, warbles a poetess. We can't
find it in our heart to blame that pen
from being weary, and we thank the
poetess most sincerely for her good re
solulion. New Uavan News.
Prince Henry of Battenburg has, after
much practice, succeeded in learning
how to wear a Scotch kilt He has posi
tively dceliued to eat haggis. There is
danger in consequence of a civil war
between him and his mother-in-law.
Minister's wife (to husband) I me
Mrs. .Tones tli in uftiirnoon. and hftr huo.
band, the deacon, who is sick, is anx-
ious to have you call and see him.
Minister I will go to him at once. He
must be hopelessly ill. A". T. Sun.
"We can't all be President of the
United States, Bobbv," said tho minis-
.- ..i un u " hm. ,ni.i -
his clear, honest eye shouo with lofty (
iCl. HVTW , WVSJ lUIIIC, CUM
ambition, "an l uout want to be. I'm '
goin to be a drum major." New York j
Sun.
Mistress What! tho cream all gone j
again? 1 re.illy cautiot understand it I
! Servant Please, mum, thecal! Mistress
I Nonsense! when we haven't one. j
Servant But, please, mum, you said as
you was goiug to get one! Ftiegende
lilueller.
A Chicago Anarchist named Ducoy
' declares he will tell tjie truth if ho "has
) to do so iu front of n Gatliug gun and
j with a rope a round his neck." Well,
it requires just about those very induce
i menu to iikiko aoiuumeu tell the truth.
Jinntetle.
j "1 hope ami pray." remarked a gen
l tleiuau as he left the steamer, "that I
shall never have occasion to cross the
Atlantic again." "Rough passage, ehP"
queried a frieud. "Rough is no name
for it. I had four kings beat three
times." N. V. .S'mm.
A Somerville girl has had her room
papered with old love letters written to
her by rejected suitors. Young men
who propose to pay court to her in fut
ure will be more likely to win her favoi
if they write only on one side of the pa
per. tfuwervJIc Journal.
Old Mrs. Bently 1 see, John, that
this new faith cure has been the means
of savin' a great many people. Old
Mr. Bentlv So I've heerd. Old Mrs.
Bently Well, the fust time you pass a
drug-store, Johu, 1 wish you'd stop and
get a bottle of it. N. Y.'Sun.
Needy man Yes, sir, if you'll give mc
a chance in your store I'll do two men's
work. I've been out of employment
many months, and I'm willing to work
for starvation wages. Merchant Now,
about how much do you think you
could starve on a week? Tid-Bits.
Eight millions of umbrellas are made
in this country overy year. Half a mtl
lion are imported from France. This
makes about one umbrella to every
seveu persons. One person buys the
umbrella; the other six steal it from
him and use it. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Witty men sometimes get into bad
K laces." Judge Gould, of the Portland,
Ie., police court, recently said to
criminal: "ixOK out tuat no more
liquor is found in your back yard." "I
will, your honor." was the reply. "I'll
only keep rats in my back yard aftei
this."
Mrs. Jones "lam told that your hus
band is worth a great deal of monev in
tbe old country, Mrs. Macnamara?"
Mrs. Macnamara "Trotn an he is,
ma'm. Tbe Government over there
will pay $5,000 for Mac any day they
can lay their bands on him." Lowell
Citizen.
Kindly old lady What's the matter,
little boy? Little boy (crying bitterly)
I jes lost ti' cents. Kindly oM lady
(giving him a nickel) Well, here is
five cents more for you, so don't cry.
How did yon lose it? Little boy (feel
ing better) 1 lost it pitchiu' pennies.
Harper's Bazar.
"John," she said, as she entered his
office one day and snifted suspiciously,
"I thought you had promised never to
drink again." "My dear," he replied
deprecatingly. "your suspicions are un
just I have just had a call from a Chi
cago Alderman." "Ah, that explains it
Forgive me, John." Rambler.
A novelist makes his heroine throw
$100,000 of her own money into the sea
so as to relieve her lover of tbe suspic
ion of being mercenary. She should
have given the money to her lover to
start a paper intended to fill a long-felt
want. She would have lost it just the
same ana it wouiu nave oeeu a i)tue
more natural. New Haven News. ,
They had been quarreling, and she
was railing against inarriag& "But,
my love," expostulated the"' husband,
"marriage is made in' Heaven." "I
don't care if it is." alie suapped. "It
isu't made for home consumption, and
they ship it down to oarth just as soon
as they can fill the orders." Washing
ton Critic.
It isu't always best to be entirely sat
is lied with everything. "Mother," said
a young lady, recently, "how came you
to marry such a very plain, unpreten
tious man as father?" "If I bad known
that his daughter would ever have ask
ed such a question 1 presume I should
have hesitated." "Then you are not
satisfied?" "Not entirely. I'd most
wish that our daughters had beon all
sons." Hartford Post.
"What is this I hear." said Mrs.
Spook, "about conipulsorv prayer being
abolished in Harvard? bid they use to
compel the students to pray?" "Yes,"
said young Spook, who had just come
homo from college ou a vacation; "yes,
tbe janitor used to go round three times
a day and make every student get dowu
on his knees and pray, and, if the stud
snt resisted, sworn at him like a pirate."
"That's just right," said Mrs. Spook;
"If a young fellow won't pray he ought
to bo sworn at until he is ashamed: uf
himself." Lynn Union.
ill
Edison says that no experiment which
he has tried" at nibt ever failed. Now
what we want to know is, did Mr. Edi
son ever try at night to find tbe matches
in his bare feet without disturbing any
of the furniture or stubbing his big toe
agaiust seventeen different obstructions.
New Haven News.
i
"Around the world in eighty days"
no longer is heard from tho lips of tbe
wideawake. It is, liko tht old "2:40 ou
a plank road" phrase, out-dated.
"Around the world in sixty-nine days"
ie the true time,
Aa Owl's Pecmliar Trick
la one of tbe Bowery museums, in a
wire cage, is a monster owl. with eyes
as big as five-dollar gold-pieces. A
solemn-looking man wandered. from the
serpent's den to tbe owl's cage, and bis
eyes met those of the cantivo" bird. As
he walked around the-cage, the big, flat
eyes of the owl remained fixed upon
him. He kept on, and, while tho claws
tjf the bird clutched the rod on which it
perched, the eyes neither winked nor
waved. Three times he made the cir
cuity the cage, keeping his eyes fixed
on those of the owl, then baited, still
eying the bird, and a perplexed look
came over bis face. Again he started
on, with quicker step, and as often as
be made the circuit of the cage he
closed one finger of his open nand.
After he doubled over seven fingers an
attendant in the museum came up and
asked him what it was all about
'"Go 'way," said the man without
taking- his eyes from the owl. and he
kept on around till he had closed the
other finger and both thumbs. Then
he halted, and still keeping his eyes
fixed on those of tbe owl. be said:
"I've walked around that owl ten
times since I began counting, and three
or four times before, and he hasn't
taken his eyes off mo yet. nor let go the
perch with his claws." lie ought to be
pretty near wound up, hadn't he?"
The museum man thought tbe stranger
was a crank, and went off to attend to
some boys who were pestering the
monkeys.
With the observation that he could
keep on walking as long as the owl
could keep turning his head around
without letting go with his claws, tbe
stranger started on. Ho made eight or
ten more circuits and then halted, and
waited to see the owl's head fly back
like a piece ox twisted lnuia-rubber.
j Bat tbe owl's eyes remained fastened
j upon him with a placid look.
j "Well, that beats me." said the man.
and he disappeared down the stairway.
! T1' Pll the man has been a
Pto to naturalists also. One of the
i solutions is that after each turn the
owl's head flies back so quickly that the
human eye can not detect tbe move
ment. N. Y. Swu
The Grown-Up Tomboy.
The girl romp, otherwise known as
the tomboy, is an eager, earnest. Im
pulsive, glad-hearted, kind-soiiJed speci
men of geuus feminine. If her laugh is
too frequent and her tone a trifle too
emphatic we are willing to overlook
these for the sake of the true life and
exulting vitality to which they are tbe
escape valve; aud, indeed, we rather
like the high-pressure nature which
must close ou its superfluous "steam" in
such ebullitions. Tho glanciug eye, the
glowing cheek, the fresh, balmy b'reatb,
the lithe, graceful play of the limbs tell
a taleof healthy and vigorous physieal
development which is Nature's best
beauty. The soul arid the mind will be
developed also in due time, and we
shall have before us a woman in the
highest sense of the term. When the
tomboy has sprung up to a healthful
and vigorous womanhood she will be
ready to take hold of the duties of life,
to become a worker in the gre3t system
of humanity. She will not sit down to
sigh over the work given her to do. to
simper nonsense or to fall sick at heart,
but she will be ever ready to take up
her burden of duty. In her track there
will be sound philosophy, in her
thoughts boldness and orijnnalitv, in
her heart Heaven's purity, and the
world will be better that she lived in it
To her allotted task she will bring
health, vigor, energy, aud spirits; these
will give her both ' the power aud the
endurance without which her life must
be, in some respects at least, a failure.
Civcinnati hnqutrer.
Core Tor Most Dangerous Wounds.
An intelligent and trustworthy cor
respondent has sent us the following:
The smoke of woolen rags is a cure for
the most dangerous wounds. A lady
of my acquaintance ran a machine
needle through her finger. She could
not be released till the machine was
taken to pieces. The needle had broken
into her finger in three pieces, one of
which was bent almost double. After
repeated trials tho piece wore extracted
by pincers, but they were very strongly
embedded. The pain reached to the
shoulder, and there was- every danger
of lockjaw. The woolen rags were put
over the coals, and she belif her finger
over tbe smoke, aud in a very short
time all the pain was gone and it never
returned, though it was some little time
before the finger healed. This is but
one of many instances of such cure,
some of them taking place after several
days from tbe time of the wound. Let
woolen rags bo kept sacredly and al
ways at hand for wounds. The smoke
and stench will fill the bouse, perhaps,
but that is a trifle when the alternative
is lockjaw, or even a long, painful
'sequel to a wound. Another instance,
was the wound made by an enraged
cat, which tore the flesh from tbe wrist
to the elbow, and bit through the fleshy
part of the hand. One ministration of
the smoke extracted all the pain, which
had beeu frightful. Boston Trat
script.
Methods of an Inventor.
There is a president of a tool-building
company in one of our eastern cities
who is a" thorough mechanic and a suc
cessful inventor. In one of the draught
ing rooms is a table with square, rule,
peucil, and a few other appliances al
wavs on it Perhaps this table may be
visited three or four times a day by the
president, who will jot down figures,
JrawafoWUhes or make a sketch. He
may not come for several days, and he
may work at the board or table for
several hours at a time. At last the
work is thought out and its elusiveness
is fixed by the penciling. The result is
then properly drawn, patterns are made,
the castings are finished, and tbe ma
chine is completed. All this is the pro
cess of thought-growing, lasting per
haps for weeks or months. During
that incubating time the idea possessed
the inventor in as true a seuse as that
he possessed the idea. Probably no
merely literary effort required greater
devotion to its subject, more intense
thought, or more exercise of tho reason
and judgment Boston Budget.
tvy Will Swear OCT.
Solomon Levy and Mose Schaumburg
had a settlement of accounts not long
since, and Levy paid a small balance
which was due. Levy had been taking
too much wine, and" paid Mose more
money than was coming to him.
Next morning Schaumburg's clerk
came to Lew's place of business and
banded him a $o bill.
"Vat for is den dot?" asked Levy.
"Mr. Schaumburg says that when
you settled with him yesterday, you
paid bim $5 too much."
Levy clasped his hands and an ex
pression of intense anguish came over
his face as he said:
"I vonder how much too much I have
paid ven a man like Mose Schaumburg
ends me back five tollars. I eggspects
I paid dot schoundrel a hundred tollar
bill for a one tollar bill. Ven it vas
less den dot he vouid have send me
pack noddings. I vas a ruined man.
I vas all broke up. Vine vas mockery.
I schwears off ride avay. Stbrong drink
tm raging." Texas Sitings.
Saratoga has a woman bill poster,
-rho handles tbe broad sheets and the
broad paste brush with the skill of an
expert She is the widow of a former
bill potter and continues the bastBess
with eaergy. . . .
THE
CHICAGO SHIT IM
of Tin:
THE BEST ROUTE
From OMAHA and COUNCIL BLUFFS
TO THE BAST.
Tw TnlM IiUj bttvra teaia, Cscxa XsSt.
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Clinton, DubUque, Davenport,
Rock Island, Freeport, Rockford,
Elgin, Madison, Janesville,
Beloit, Winona, La Crosse.
And all other Iiupoitant Point K.ist,
Northeast aud Southeast.
For through tk-kotn call on the Ticket
Agent at Columbus, Nebraska.
Pullman Sucetkrs and the Finest
DiMtc Caks in tiik Would are run ou
the main lines or the Chicago. Mil
waskee Sc St. Past Ky, and every
attention is paid to passengers by cour
teous employe of the Company.
. Sillier, A. V. II. Carpeater,
General Han ger. (Jen'l Pans. Ag't.
J. F. Twcker,
Asi'tGen'l Man
Gee.n. IleaftTstrd,
Ass't rass. Ag't.
J. X. Clark, Geti'l Sup't.
Fe:
ALWAYS THE BEST
AXD
Up to the Times.
DAILY
Nebraska State Journal
Eight Pages Fifty-Six Columns,
With large Four Page Sunday
Supplement.
Tbe Proprietor of Tut Daily Nebraska Stats
Jockhai. beg leare to announce many great Improve
ments In the paper for Uie coming year, largely In
creasing Its value a a commercial and news paper.
Arrangements are being perfected tor increased
telegraph facilities, which will place Thk Joiiuai.
second to no paper to the west as a general newspa
per, while onr special telegraphic service throughout
Nebraska and the- west generallrwui be more than
doubled.
THE LEOISLATCRZ.
The coming session of the state legislature promises
to be the most InteresUng one ever held in the slate,
and Tnr Journal each morning win present a com
plete report of the proceedings In detail, and will be
the olt paper In the state that will publish such a
report, with our new perfecting press, which wUl
be In operation by the flrst of January, printing
I5.U0U complete copies of the paper an hour, we will
be enabled to mall to all parts of tbe state on aU early
morning trains, reaching nine-tenths of the postof
flees In the state from two to ten hours In advance of
any other morning paper.
STATE MATTXRS.
The State Jocrxal being published at the capital
of the state. Is enabled to give fuller reports of the
Nebraska Supreme Court, u. S. District and Circuit
Court proceedings, news from the state departments
and State University than aU other papers In tbe state
combined. .
MARKET retorts.
The completion of the two large packing houses
and the stock yards will place Lincoln In the front
rank aa an Important live stock market and The
JocrxalwIU pay especial attention to glvingaccuratf
and reliable local stock market reports, beshlei the
latest telegraphic quotations In gram, stock and mer
chandise from every market centre In the w orld.
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Eight Pages Fifty-six Columns.
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IMPORTANT
TO ALL
Farmers
Gardeners
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Stock-raisers
Wool-growtrs-Butter-makers
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i
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AS 3 ALL.
Iu Village, City, and Country!
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Information that will eflea re
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Read the following :
OR.VSGE JIJlJ,thoKditorand build
crupof what waa formerly the most valua
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ourual in thin country, ia note Editing,
and with his SONS publishing tho 'ikly
PHAIBIE FAR.HER at Chicago
Under the New Management, this old
Journal (established! in 1311). has be
come ono of tho mot Valuable b'c-urcea
of Practical, licliablo Information iu t!it
I'uitv'd States. It Is uxeccdiugly Useful
to rivcry ."2aii, Y"o::ia:i and Child
iu Country, Village or City, for th
FaRu aud all grown upou it, its Crops. Its
Livestock, Uardeu. Fruits and Flowors.
.VI E30L-.i:5ii:;:2F.RSercr7whor
will ilr.d in tho Prcirit Farmer most Valu
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of Hcusehold Wor'i nnd Care. This is pre
pared and edited It intelligent WemeN
who w,iiTn.i tal!i about whut they them
selves DO, and L- uot t 'scissor and past'
assortment of things that merely n?ad well
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Every V;.'"t i- tht Pmrie Former. It has
ti'iifoiiiid i-A Circulation under tha new
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Every IIoui nnd .ill pay at any Coiit.
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Fftnuer iu coaae-'i.in with our Journal
at Very Snail Cost. The price uatil
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but is uo.v reduced to $1.50 a year. And
ISt'l tti .( ill : Wo have made arrange
ments with the publishers, bv means of
which we propose to supply the Weekly
Prairie Farmer
AND THE
COLUMBUS J0UBNAL
Roth for only $2.73 a year.
(The separate- iriv is w:t..10 a year.) .
You will ;-: ftoui the Pnttrie JJt:rrner
Multitud. ot" :: -. ::.? : -;:::. ittul
I seful Pi..- ....: . .. Mi .j. ".'I .!'! 'hj
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We Guarantee a Cure, or agree to re
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To cure any case. With each order received byue
for six boxes, accompanied with SSXQ. we Will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not SCSSl
core. Guarantees issued only by
JOHN O. WEST & CO.,
862 W. MADISON ST., CHICABO, ILIA,
Sole Prop's West's Liver Pill
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