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The Swindles: Door.
rsa looklar for soaeknay B street,
flinti niinl lirrrr r" tSs,
- nniiwtwiilr tall, aad young; atia ir. c
t Wao UMd to loiter about Ihc atair.
And wmit to accompany me over the stile.
And carry my books for me once in a wane,
iU we both passed out through the swinging
door, . .
In those dear old college days or yore.
He's married, and happy, and sa am I.
I wouldn't meet him for the wrM. not 1.
Jfor fear that one or the frthor might trace,
. Mr some cuauce word or confusion otiace,
:fce little secret we keptno well;
Tftoopoa secret which others could tell,
Which we, in our .iunoccuce, thought to Keep
best.
By guarding it safe each within our own
lis, pcrhsf s. as well that 'twas never con
As we both passed out through the swinging
door, . -
In taose dear old college days or yore.
I'm looking for somebody down the street,
tiome one 1 never ex prct to meet;
Hut somehow or other I love to look.
And all 1 can see is a boy with his. book,
Aud just at his side is uiy little cir,
. My girl of sixteen, my Gertt udc, herself.
3teye unearthed an heirtoom so pretty it
To tbeiir foolish young hearts with their fanci
ful dreams. . , .
Tis the secret which we his father ann I
Hid awuy in our hearts so careful ami sir,
Aa we both passed out through the swinging
door.
In those dear old college days of yore.
A HOUSK RUN B KUTES.
Curious Placard rusted Up in
more Mao' llouse.
Balti-
Thcre are a good many queer eople
in this world. .Iiiit at present Balti
more contains as odd a personage as
Charles Dickens' Mr. Dick. He is a
bookkeeper who rims his house by
rules. A reporter of the Baltimore
Jfeics, who recently visited his residence
says:
1'lacards of rules were placed in every
room for the guidauee ot it occupants,
and for their violation sundry jenaltie3
are provided. In the hail the following
rules were posted, the placard being
wedged in the crevice of the mirror in
the hat-rack:
Please hang your hat up.
Please wipe your feet.
Please do not take away our um
brellas. Please nut votir umbrella in the rack.
Enter the "parlor by the first door to
the left.
In the parlor he found a similar
poster. It was fastened to the shade ot
a drop light, and at night its lettering
was brought into conspicuous promi
nence by the light under it. The pla
card read Urns:
Please do not soil the photograph
album.
Please do not finger the oil paintings
to sec if they are genuine, for they axe.
Please do'not touch the mineral speci
mens on the side-table.
Please do not move your chair from
the position it occupies.
Please close the piano after using it,
and put the music where you found it
If you found it out of its place put it
where it belongs.
No visitors entertained in this parlor
before 2 p. m., and between the hours
of C and 8 p. m.. and after 1050 p. m.
Any visitor calling at any hour when
no entertainment is allowed will be
compelled to await the arrival of the
hour when some member of the family
is permitted to enter.
Younsr men will observe the rule
that no" visitors are entertained after
10:30 p. in.
Members of this family arc prohibited
from occupying this parlor except to en
tertain callers.
The rules are rough on visitors, but
the reporter learned from a regular
visitor to one of the young ladies of the
bouse that they are rigidly enforced.
Suspended from a chandelier which
overhangs the dining-room, was a pla
card which reads thus:
Please take votir lime in catiiisr.
Please replace the dillereut articles in
the casters.
Please do not place your elbows on
the table.
Please sit upright in your chair.
Please eat with your fork.
In the kitchen! he servant giri kept
such. a close watch upon the rejiorter
that he could not copy the rules he saw
over the dresser. Ho" got a few furtive
glances at them. They were very long,
and outlined in detail "the cook's duties,
Mich as the amount of salt. epper and
other condiments lo be placed in cer
tain articles of fooil, the amount of Hour
required for biscuits and rolls for each
meal, when butter was to be used, etc;.
There was a place for every pan antl
pot, and each was specified. hveti the
amount of coal required for a day's use
in the kitchen iove was set down.
There was a special injunction that
everything was to be kept neat and
clean, ami any failure to do so would
be detected by I lie master of the house,
who would iusHci the kitchen every
lay. The Mrvaut girl was allowed to
receive company on one night each
week, and .the was permitted to take
Stinduv night to herself, provided she
woiild'rciurn by IOiT.O p. in. Violation
of the uV-- va iniiiiMialile by her being
kepi on Hoy o:i Sunday night and re
futed eiiiiip.niv cither lor one, two, or
three week-, as the magnitude of the of
fense might jllr-tih.
The har-hiie of the paterfamilias
was bioiighl ni:o toll play when he de
vised the Miles lor die liedchambet
which his two daughters occupied. The
placard wa ol the ame pattern ac
those in other rooms throughout the
house twelve inches by eight, plain
black lettering, surrounded by a broad,
black border. The placard was sus
pended by ribbon from the top of the
mirror frame, and the card covered the
top of the glass. It was probably
placed in that position by the father to
insure its being seen long and often.
Kverytimc that either of those young
ladies ties her bonnet-strings, arranges
her hair or gazes into the depths of her
blue eyes, she cannot help .seeing that
placard. Any young lady must know
liow often, then, those rules meet the
eyes of the fair occupants of thai room.
They read thus:
My daughters will refrain from using
cosmetics, paint, powder, aud other
such stuff on every occasion.
Tight lacing is prohibited.
No conspicuous jewelry must be
wont.
Rose water is the only perfumery per
mitted. The teeth and nails must be carefully
brushed at least twice a day.
The bureau drawers must be kept in
prim order.
No high-heeled or tight-fitting shoes
allowed.
No garments should be thrown hap
hazard on the chairs.
The lights in this room must be ex
tinguished at 11 p. in. promptly.
It is unnecessary to add that my
daughters will say their prayers before
retiring at night aud after rising in the
moruiug.
Similar rules are placarded in the
chamber of the father and mother. Even
the son is not exempt, and he is told
how often to shave, what kind of cravats
to wear, etc.
Baried on a Hoaae-Top.
Riding on the top of an omnibus
down Oxford street one can hardly fail
to notice a curious object on the top of
a very handsome residence some few
hundred yards to the right after passing
the Marble Arch. As seen from the
road it appears to be a framework of
glass, some twelve feet long by six feet
broad and four feet high. Through the
lass can plainly be seen a large, ob-
one box, painted black, which looks
for all the world like a coffin.
litis house, although under ordinary
circumstances it would bring an enor
mous rental, beiug- situated in one of
the most fashionable parts of London,
baa been untenanted for fully fifty years
past The story goes, and I nave
neard it trom at least half a dozen omni
bus drivers wlio daily pass the- liuusc,
that the last tenant, who was also the
owner of the nrunuriv. was an eccen
tric
w
the
When' life dieil he left a provision in
his will that his body shouid not be
buried, but should be placed in a colli n
inside the structure I have referred to,
which he had built some years previous
ly and almost cvervbodv believes to
this dav that the old trentleman'
bones,
L tb- urc, ac,um. at U,u,
moment Iving m tins strange rcuepia-
I have made inquiries of the agents
of the property, aud llicy laugh tlio
idea to scorn lllat the old tcllow is real
ly upon the top of the house, but at the
same time they acknowledge that 'the
curious structure, whatever it may con
tain, will never be removed, and they
add that although the Iioum- has been
offered for years past at a greatly re--dnced
rental, nobody can be luifuccd to
take it whilst the glass box and its con
tents remain in their present condition.
This is one out of the iiianv explaua-
lions of the curious stn.dnrawhich
mav be seen any,dav by ihWAling)
n.Ilv.l Part-oirdein. Tid-Hit.1 ' -
Economy in Dress.
Everv wife should know just 'how
snucb shc.can aflbnl for her clothing, or
for the children, then make it a duty to
expend the amount (but it Is a much
better feeling to lay aside n small part
of the sum for use at some future time)
to the very best possible advantage. Jt
is usuallv best economy to buy good
material,' not necessarily ihe highest
priced, but of a quality that will wear
well, plenty of it (a friend says wheu a
dress is made out of her house, she al
ways gets a yard extra, keeping for
sleeves or repairs, learuiug by experi
ence that but little returns from a dress
maker), a becoming color, aud becom
ing style of goods.
A nice dress generally proves the
most satisfactory if made cr part made,
cut at Jeast. by" one who knows "just
how," reserving cheaier goods for in
experienced lingers. Fashion is almost
as much of a goddess as in mythological
days, and worshiped as much. Ascer
tain regard must be paid to the styie of
dress, or a woman subjects herself to
remark. Women naturally like pretty
things bright color. etc., but all
shades of the rainbow are not becoming
to all of us. 'J'aste must be uscil in
large supplies in our wardrobes. Often
a part worn dress will "make over" for
a younger member of the family, but
don't compel a child to wear one that
her friends and mates will know as one
of her mother's made over. Though
the child loves her parent dearly, she
has a certain pride which is nothing to
be ashamed of, and should bo respertctl.
Mrs. Frances C. Mixler, in Good
Housekeeving.
m i m
They Were His.
It occurred in one of the suburban
villages, where a worthy citizen staid
out rather late one night, and came
home in a state which he knew was
dangerous for him if his wife discovered
it The night was one of the frcezy
thawy sort, and the moment of his re
turn happened to be one of the thawing
intervals. It occurred to the man that,
if he took his boots oil' outside the
house, aud went in very softly aud care
fully, his wife might not wake and dis
cover his condition. So iie followed
this plan, aud managed to get into bed
without raising any alarm.
Next morning fie opened his eyes
rather late and saw his wife in the room
standing by the window. Hi: could
have told by her aspect that it wa.s a
frosty morning 'Without looking out of
the window. '
"Come herc.,k she said.
He came there.
"Are those your boots frozen into the
gutter out there? she asked.
He looked long and wonderingly.
until his aching head began to reel.
'I guess they must be my boots, that's
a fact,' said he.
"And how did they come there?'
Of course he couldn't account for it,
but the reader can. He had sat down
on the curbstone instead of on the door
step, aud had forgotten to bring the
boots in with him when he came. -Boston
Ilet'ord.
"What do you mean by usiug such
violence toward your wife?" asked the
Austin Recorder, of Sam .lousing. "1
didn't, use no violence, boss." "But
you did; her face is all swollen up from
the blow. Didn't you strike her?"
"Yes, boss, but hit was an accerdeuL
Pse neah-sighlcd.'' "What's that got
to do with it?" "Heaps, boss, heaps.
Yer we I was at de gale and was
gwinter go down lown. and 1 jist kissed
my ban' ter .Matildy." "Kissed your
hand to her?" "Yes. boss, kissed my
ban ter her, but owing to de detect' iu
my k's. 1 spoctt she was nior'n twenty
feet oil, but she wasn't. She was so
clo: ter me dal de back ob my hau' hit
her smack in tie niout. 1 tsebber was
so s'prised in my lite." "Well, there is
auot her surprise in store for on. You
pay &J0 and costs or you go to the
county jail."
Pat Ill-ought rlie Itottlea Home.
He returned from his yachting trip,
and when Ihe luggasre of the gander
parly was conveyed ashore lne array of
:inpiy bottles that had not been thrown
overboard was something of a Maggerer
to look upon. Thcgeiitlemaii. not car
ing lo dump them at the anchorage in
the face and eyes of his neighbors, said
hurriedly to his man, "Pat, get those
underground about as quick as you can.
Bury them: do you understand?"' "Yis,
sor, I do," was the reply; and the
yachtsman went home aud tumbled in
to the arms of Morpheus without delay.
The next he knew he heard his wife's
voice caiiin: "For goodness sake, my
dear, what has Pat brought all these
ooltles up here for?" It was but one
step from the bed to the window, where
the enraged gentleman called out: "You
blasted Irishman! didn't I tell you to
bury those bottles?" "Yer did, sor,
and it's divilish quick I'll get 'em
buried, now I have 'cm so handy, sor."
The yachtsman wearily explained it to
his wife Next time he will consider it
more valorous aud discreet to take Pat
a little into his confidence. Boston
Home Journal.
m
The customs collector in New Laredo,
Mexico, Pedro Aguillcs, recently issued
orders to his customs inspectors and
guards as follows: "All train inspectors
arc to treat American travelers with
due respect and consideration. No im
pertinence or overbearing action on
their part towanl travelers will be tol
erated. The baggage of lady travelers
is to be respected and not overhauled,
the guards requesting ladies to open
their trunks aud merely looking into
them, not removing their conteuts nor
instituting auy search whatever.
Guanls are to keep hands off the per
sons and property of lady travelers."
i m
"Isn't he beautiful?" said the wife of
the politician, as she dandled her baby
boy, who smiled and kicked every time
she threw him up. "He is," answered
the proud father as he watched the play
of the little feel; "but Tin afraid he will
never be a good parly man." "Why
not?" "Because he's a kicker." It is
these terrible thiugs that cast a gloom
over" the happiest families.1' Boston
Courier. Z
"Hot soup and bread for a penny,'
a JJew York restaurant sign.
U)
and, very- weaiiiiy pm.geuusu.ian.
ho lia4i wrved ' for iftauy'jutts.Mmfer
irovernutent m: India, i f . ,y .b Si
The XavicK of Em rope.
A return made recent Iv to the British
parliament of the .ireiigth of European
.navies give naiaMiurjformiiig some
tetiiefcfcjM tcofiiuafatlve efficiency
bf ike aivy wrlgikiniiuent is now
"building? The largest' and fastest Eu
ropean war vessels belong to Italy. Her
largest ship, the "Italia." has a displace
ment of nearly M.000 tons, or about
,000jnorc Jhart;any other war 'vessel
afloat. Notwithstanding this enormous
1ml L- tho Italia" steams IS knots an
S&TSSSTStSS. .
?'Itaifa" carries the heaviest guns of
any vessel afloat, consisting of four
breech-loading guns of 16 3-4 inches
calibre and eight of G inches calibre.
Two other vessels, the "Duilo" and the
"Daudalo;,r 1 nearly approach the
"Italia" in size anil armaneut. Alto
gether Italy has eleven war vessels of
the first class, and is building seven
more, with three of the second class.
She has one toqiedo vessel completed
and eleven in progress, with fifty-live
torpedo boats aud twenty-eight in pro-
.,. L , , i
-r.fAlthouj Kngla.tUas a larger navy
.!" auuer.??V?wt Aer Ve.S:
?' wnprowewi or armor or ou.j
partially so. She has twenty turret
a rmor-cla.ds completed and..six more -in
CpVbgre. ijtit ljtijgti-ehty
v tons iu wetght'andof IC-iucn-cahbre
areearried ny'the'Inflexible' btittliey
are muzzle-loading. One of the vessels
now iu.progress.-tlie;,'Sansareil," with
others'-snialler' calibre, 'will carry two
110-ton guns, and with their completion
England will then have the heaviest
battery afloat. Seven armed cruisers of
ii.OOO tons are building, three barbette
ships are completed and six more are in
progress, and .there are twenty-nine
broadsides ships also in commission.
When the ships in -progress are com
pleted Kngland will have three vessels
of between 11.000 and 12.000 tons, built
to compete in size and armament with
1 Italy's three great monsters.
, France has sixteen first-class armor
' clads, one' of 11.000 (toss, and thirteen
others are in ' progress. ' "All the'; guns
:
are oreecu-ioauers. wune r,ngiatin s
armament is mostly of muzzle-loaders.
The largest French guns are fourtecn
iuch calibre. France has twelve armor
clads ot the second class, the largest
having a displacement of 6.000 tons.
Russia has six armored vessels in the
Black Sea fleet and fifteen battery ships
and monitors, with five belted cruisers
iu the Baltic fleet. Germany has thir
teen armored vessels, ranging from 4,
000 to under 10.000, and carrying guns
of not more than a little over ten-inches
calibre. Shu has also fourteen of a
smaller class under 2.000 tons. Aus
tria has ten armored vessels of from .
000 to over 7,000 tons.
Compared with these great fleets our
navy will apear very small. The larg
est of the new vessels whose construc
tion litis been authorized by cougrcss
are two C.OOO-lon irou-clads. " They are,
however, to have a speed of sixteen
knots an hour, faster than any English
war vessel now afloat'. The bill passed
by the last congress provides for otio
cruiser which is to possess the highest
practicable speed aud which, hence,
ought to equal or exceed the eighteen
knots an hour of the "Italia." There
is no necessity for our government to
cuter into the costly conqetition of Eu
ropean powers in turning out enormous
war vessels. We should, however, have
as fast and well-armed vessels as there
are iu the world, and it begins to look
' it -. w
as if we shall get them.
I
The chestnut gong proves to be a
chestnut itself, according to the Buffalo
Commercial, which says that over twen
ty years ago. in a well-kuowu lieer sa
loou. hung, well balanced, a big knife.
To the )Mint was attached a bell, and
to the handle a cord. When the boys
became too argumentative the proprietor
would solemnly pull the cord, the bell
-would ring, and the knite chopping up
and down cut short the remarks of the
disputants.
Mr. MiwkIv'm WnotlchHckn.
1). 1. Moody has a good story to tell
of the benevolent capitalists who some
times visit him at his pleasant North
field home "You business men dou't
get all the benefit of this labor agita
tion." he sometimes says; "1 know how
it is. I've- been boycotted myself."
"You. Mr. Moody?" they ask iii sur
prise: "we thought you were way out
of range of that sot l of thing." "No. 1
ain't, replies the genial evangelist, aud
with a twinkle in his eye he tells the
story of his experience with the labor
agitators. It was several years ago.
wheu his boys' school at Mount Hermnn
had its beginning. 'J here wasu't much
to the school then except two or three
buildings, two small classes of boys aud
a vast expanse of pasture laud, which
now, Mr. Moody says, he is making to
blossom, like a garden. But it was
alive with woodchttcks then, and in
their ages of undisturbed possession
they had burrowed through aud through
that pasture laud till they must have
had an underground network of holes
that crossed 'each other like a veritable
labyrinth. Mr. Moody was inclined to
dispute their pos-ession. aud offered his
boys 25 cents a head for their capture.
The boys were fully alive to their oppor
tunities, and many was tne hunting
party that came home laden with dead
woodchttcks. which were promptly ex-
, changed for silver quarters by their
worthy employer. A little band of In
dian boys especially distinguished them
selves on the hunt," having tiie advant
age over the other boys by reason of
their early training; but no one had
reason to compiain, for time smiled on
them all in those days, and dreadful
was the woodchtick mortality.
By and by Mr. Moody found that his
outlay for woodchticks was beginning to
be an appreciable drain on his purse;
when wobdehucks were so plenty 2a
cents was altogether too high a price to
pay for them, he reasoned, and one
morning he announced to the school
that he would be compelled to cut
down the bonus on woodchucks from 25
cents to 10. There was no help for it;
the die was cast, and however plentiful
it was out of the question Killing wood
chucks for 10 cents a head when they
had been getting 20 cents. So the boys
had an indignatiou meeting and the In
dians were foremost in urging the most
approved methods of labor agitation
known to the craft; the other boys gave
hearty assent, and a boycott was voted
on Mr. Moody which "has not beeu
broken to this day. No student at
Mount Hermon school was to kill any
of Mr. Moody's woodcucks for 10 cents;
they would see the woodchucks cat up
the foundations of their boarding-bouse
first; tbey would wait for developments.
The committee waited ou Mr. Moody
and informed him of the action of the
assembly. Mr. Moody remained firm
and the woodchucks ouce more dis
ported themselves ou that blue orthodox
mount feeling that there is no man to
make them afraid- prmieW Mass.)
Republican.
m
Socialist I tell you this Socialistic
movement is making great headway.
There aro in Europe to-day 100.000
people who question the right of
kings and queens to the best. Friend
Ihat's all right I did it myself
once. Socialist You! Friend Yes. I
heldvaccs. ami you bet 1 questioned the
right of kings aud queens to anything
atalL Rambler.
1 The remains of sv house; that, experts
venture to ay t, is' fifteen centaries old
have been UBcatthed in Rome. They
am in a coninarativelv irnod state of
perservation.
A Conclaaive Proof.
During one of Senator Van Wycka
canvasses in New York stale for con
gress, long before he ever thought of be
iug a senator from Nebraska, and when
he was not so handsome as he is now.
he was walking along a country road
to a farmhouse," when he met a small
man and a big woman, evidently hus
band and wife, or wife aud husband, as
you please.
"Good morning," he said, with can
didate cordiality.
! "Good morning," responded the wo
man, crowding her husband to the rear.
"Seen anv candidates around lately?"
continued Van Wyck, jokingly.
"More'n the dogs kin bark at," re
sponded tho woman.
"Have von seen one they call Van
Wyck?" "
"No, but 1 hearn tell on him, an' my
husbau' here kinder wants ter vole fcr
him," she said, jerking her thumbs over
her shoulder.
"Ah?" and the candidate smiled.
"Yes: but I don't think he will. I've
got my miud on the other man."
"But, madam," remonstrated the can
didate, "why don't you want him to
vote fop the man he wants to vote for?"
"Well, I ain't never saw Van Wyck.
an' 1 saw the other man. an' he suits
me. an' I kalkilate ez 1 don't think my
husband here will vote for Van Wyck."
"You sav. madam, von never" saw
Van Wyck?"
"Not ez 1 remember."
"Well, madam. I'm Van Wyck." and
the speaker straightened himself up as
straight as the natural circumstances
would permit.
"Laud Sakeri!" she exclaimed; "so
you are Van Wyck?' and she looked
him over from head to foot verv care
fully. "Well, now 1 know he'll vote
for 'the other man."
The candidate tried to argue, but she
wouldn't listen, and hurried away, tak
ing her husband along. Washington
Critic
Novelties in Seismometers.
The southern earthquakes have de
veloped much interest iu seismometers,
or instruments designed lo record the
nature and 'force of the shock. Several
ingenious instruments have been invent
ed for the purpose, some very elaborate
and others extremely simple. One of
the latter class consists of a glass of wa
ter on which is a scum of oil. Any agi
tation of the fluid causes a wave which
shows in a mark lett by the oil on the
side of the glass. Another simple de
vice paralyzed a certain learned com
pany iu Japan into whose presence it
was introduced by a scholarly but wag
gish American. It consisted merely of
the familiar Japanese toy of a turtle
poised on a point. "This, gentlemen."
said the servant, "is the seismometer I
employ. By this simple but delicate in
strument 1 can at once estimate the
energy of the disturbance. If the shock
is alight, the turtle shakes only a little:
if severe, the turtle shakes a great deal."
Bui the most novel seismometer which
the recent earthquakes have developed
is a colored clergyman residing in Aik
en county, Soutli Carolina. For some
reason the nervous system of this rev
erend man is so organized that he nol
ouly feels the slightest shocks, and large
ones in proportion, but he can even per
ceive their approach. Oti several oc
casions he has notified his neighbors of
a shock ahead of its coming. Such a
man should be iu demand just now as
a janitor. A. 1. Commercial Adcer
ttser.
Till' SlltiKr DOG.
All Animal Which i Kviilttnlly f-'rleiittljr,
fail hint, ami Trim.
Every admirer of the faithful and in
telligent sheep dog will appreciate the
following admirable sketch of his rare
qualities:
Dogs are best studied at work, aud a
day sHnt among the hills with shep
herd aud his dog' is fraught both with
interest aud instruction to an intelligent
observer. Sitting on a hiliside, looking
across a wide len, tiie sheep of an ail
joiuing proprietor arc observed crossing
the boundary line in search of richer
pasture. The shepherd addresses a few
words to his dog, which darts off like a
greyhound. We watch him spanking
across the glen, now clearing a wide
ditch at a bound, then fording the
stream, half wading, half swimming.
He waits but a moment to shake the
water from his coat. His master calls
to him. He raises his head and ears to
listeu to the order, which is repeated,
and nimbly he threads his way up the
distant acclivity. He now comes iu
sight of the sheep, aud. in getting ahead
of them, takes a wide circular course.
The sheep have taken the alarm aud
commence to ruu. but "Tyne" is too
swift for them aud presently he appears
clear in front. The shepherd, by a sharp
whistle ou the fingers, stops his dog.
which, at that moment, happens to be
on a patch of thick heather, and were
it not for the splashes of white about his
neck and breast his whereabouts would
not be easily made out. The sheep are
slow to retreat; but, upon receiving an
other command. "Tyue" moves smartly
up behind them and iu a few minutes
the poaching flock is sent scampering
back to their owu proper walk. The
dog is seen leisurely retracing his steps.
He quenches his thirst as he refords the
stream and, returning to his master's
side, sits dowu couiM)sedly, turning his
keen eyas toward the apposite hill as if
to make sure he has fully completed his
task. Such is a simple performance of
the collie; yet it serves to show how
quickly anif well he accomplishes a
piece ol work which, without him, would
have occupied the shepherd many hours.
The sheep may be scattered mauy miles
apart over a wide range of hills, and he
will collect them in a shorter time than
a score of men. Alone he will drive
the flock to any part of the hill, or bring
to the shepherd any sheep he may want.
Distance is no object to a well-trained
collie; and although he may be a iuiie
away, a motion of the hand is sufficient
to command him when oral directions
cannot be heard. Charles Sco'A.
Benefits of Laughter.
Probably there is not the remotest
corner or little inlet of the minute blood
vessels of the body that does not feel
some wavelet from the great convulsion
produced by hearty laughter shaking the
central mau. The blood moves more
lively probably its chemical, electric or
vital condition is distinctly modified
it conveys a'difiercnt impression to all
the organs of the body as it visits them
on that particular mystic journey, when
the mau is laughing, from what it does
at other times. And thus it is that a
good Iaub lengthens a man's life by
conveying a distinct and additional
stimulus to the vital forces. The time
may come when physiciaus, attending
more closely than they do now to the in
numerable subtle influences which the
soul exerts upou its teueiueut of clay,
shall prescribe to the torpid patient "so
many peals of laughter, to be undergone
at such aud such a time," just as they
do that for more objectionable prescrip
tions a pill or an electric or galvanic
shock. Scientific American.
The Lancet makes a distinction be
tecn what it calls the use aud abuse of
tobacco. The man who can saj "I al
ways know when I have smoked enough
if 1 go beyond the just limit 1 lose my
power of prompt decision," is one. ft
suggests, who had better not smoke at
all; but "a moderate use of tobacco
soothes the senses, mid leaves the men
tal faculties free from irritation, and
ready lor calmly-clear intellectual pro
cesses. When this is not the effect pro
duced by smokiug the 'weed' had better
be eschewed."
missim; links.
Natural gas is said to be a gaxxl
remedy for ridding a house of rata.
The. general e'e lion in ('real Britain
last year cost i.l.b::,.
of 4i Ad per vote.
i;j average
Libby prison i now a fertilizing fac
tory and Castle Thunder lis been
burned to ihe groiimt.
The residents of Chestnut street, Phil
adelphia, P.i., have petitioned to have
its name changed.
Iu tho cities of New York. Jersey
City. Newark, and Patursou there are
sixteen thousand saloons.
A mathematician estimates that a
machine of ouu-hor.se power would keep
27,000,000 watches running.
They do not vaccinate women in
Buriuah. as they arc not considered
worth the trouble and expense,
A hog ou exhibition in Wirt couuty.
West Virginia, is over S feet long. 3 feet
high, aud weighs 718 iouiid.s.
A rich New York woman with a hu
morously tender heart is to establish
"an asylum for injured olo players."
Lace is said to be driviug out tril
lings in England, and the Hon i ton fac
tories at Exeter are overrun with orders.
A European economist reckons that
there are on the face of the jr lobe 47.
f'OO.OOO head of cattle and 105,000.000
sheep.
Men employed in sinking a well at
Coleiu.-iii. 1). T.. found a live frog im
bedded iu the earth '28i feel below the
surface.
W. S. Perrymau. of Thomaston, Ga..
has a pet owl lhal consumed two pounds
of fresh beef, livn rats and four jay birds
at one meal.
A California farmer who owns a
separate water- right recentlv refused
$1..VX er inch for all he will sell from
his canyon.
A well digger iu Oco. 111., fouud a
hollow Ut iweutv-eixhl feet below the
surface of the ground, iiud in the log a
vigorous frog.
Tuere are numerous masonic lodges
in France eompoM-d exclusively of wo
men. The have all I lie fancy features
and ceremonials.
A (icoivia hermit has his house in
the branches of a spreading oak tree.
It is small, but qii.tc a smi' abode,
securely fastened to the limb of the tree.
English m'tliiiers are said to have
discovered a way of making bonnets of
tissue paper: tlieycost about as much as
if they were covered with bank notes.
In the little but rich city of Fargo,
out iu the wlieatlamls. each policeman
carries a hcavt gold-headed cane in
stead of a billy
at best.
which is a base thing
Tiie old homestead built by Gov.
Chrittemleii. the first governor of the
state, is still standing at Willistoti.
Conn., and has been occupied by six gen
erations. The I'io.-he (Xev.) Ileeotd says the
smallest Indian agency iu the country
is located iu that county. There are
no men. no women, no children, and
one agent.
A hundred-acre peat bog lias been
tiisrovered near Kliendale. I). T. The
c:il icacnc lo a tlentti of from seven
to leu fee!, and is ..ant to overiav a sur
face of ice.
Measurements have shown the thick
ness of the unman hair to vary ftom
lhc2.0lh lo the tilt-Jilt part of an inch.
Bioiule hair is tin; finest and red hair
the coaresl.
"I oiio: saw a person o into the
water with his nose embraced by a
clotlu's-pin." s.is a .scientific writer,
antl the greater number ot bathers
now proleci the ears with woo!."
The sheep interests in Stillborn Idaho
liar.: n. creased so rapidly during the
past few years as to .seriously interfere
with sonic of tiie ranges heretofore oc
cupied cxfiiisiveht horses and cattle.
The wiilesi shaving ever made by a
wood-vvorkiiir machine was recently
placed on exhibition in a store in Win
chendon. Masj. It was forty-two incite
wide, several feet long, and of uniform
thick ne.-s.
"Mix C.'iieauo with Pittsburg and
salt, the whole with smoky sandstone."
writes ('.-up. "and ou nave the great
Scotch city ot Glasgow. It is larger
than Ciucago. and better built thau
either liieago or Pillsburg.
A prominent sign upon a Pennsyl
vania roadside states a well-known no
tice iu this original manner: "For
Bitten For divsspassing over This
croimd. Five dollars Fine for any Body
Sewed on this croimd."
The late 'Archbishop of Canterbury
once ivmonstraii .1 with a celebrated
Pal see for worshipping the Mill. "Ah!
your graii." u:nlhc reph. "you should
see it once" a pretty good bit at En
glish fog and piejtidicf.
A Moiine. 111., man has arranged a
grindstone iu a wajon in uch a man
ner that when the weels turn they cause
the grindstone to levolvc. He makes
his living by driving about the town
grinding hatchets and knives.
Lord Randolph Churchill has very
large hands, mid the hair on the top ot
his bead has a moth-eaten appearance.
When sealed on Ihe ministerial bench
iu parliament he spend his time tietcely
twirling his tawny nuiMai-he.
At the present moment, so says an
English paper, fortune telling is one of
the mo-t llourisiiig sy-si u-j of imposture
iu that eoiiatry. ami there is scarcely a
town or x illage without its resident or
visiting cheat of this description.
A traveling show struck hard luck re
cently in a Texas town. Among its
Curiosities was an Egyptimi mummy,
upon which a local coroner insisted on
holding an inquest at a cost of ijf :.'. just
$1 more than was taken in at the door.
A mau has gone a mile on a bicycle
iu two minutes and thirty-three seconds.
That would have ln-en good for a trot
ting horse twenty-five years ago. Per
haps twenty-live years hence the bicycle
record willget down to 2:08;.
The Natural History societv of Wor
cester. Mass., has cmployeif divers to
limit around on the bottom of Lake
Quinsigamotid for Indian relics. A
chart of the bottom is to be made show
ing the cold springs, so much dreaded
by swimmers.
The water used in Sacramento, Cal..
is of a peculiar color. One day recently
a resident of that citv was in Sail Fran
cisco, and strayed into a restaurant.
When a waiter placed a glass of water
before him he looked at it a moment
and augrily exclaimed: "You can't fool
me. Ulititau'l water; water's yaller."
Seuor Don Jose Manuel Balceuieda,
the new President of Chili, was born iu
1840, ami ldougs to one of the highest
aud wealthiest families of the republic
He has been for fifteen years a member
of the Chamber of Deputies, and enjoys
a high reputation as an orator and de
bater. He is the author of the laws- of
civil matrimony aud lay cemeteries in
Chili, and be now proclaims his policy
for a complete separation of Church
and State, which, owing to the lact of
the Government and the judicious tem
per of the people, can be carried with
out disturbing the public peace.
A thousand students gave honor to
Professor Gneist at Berlin, the other
day, when that worthy rounded out bis
fiftieth year as a graduate. Beer mugs
three rows deep were in front of the
students, and this is how they gave the
"salamander:" They weren't as yet
beery. After every verso there was a
rattling of swords by all students in
uniform, and at the last verse tbey all
rose to receive the "salamander" given
by the speaker, who announced is bv
"Adtstrcitiumxilcmandrt," 2, '
1 and they all graiqd their mugs aud
raised them in the air; then came
"bibite." aud they drank to lite dregs.
Then came "I. 2," 8" again, and tln-y
hold their mugs chiju lo ihe table, aud
at the word- mejienift tM-s! beat a
i tatloo.ou I In taliie wiih tlieiu lor an in
atntit. stopped all of a sudden and
brought them all down together as a
clincher, with ti loud bang.
AITCICVX IXi:t-- ASTS.
A Schema to Train 'lit? VfiUt Lnnli of the
Janet Met f llnrilvn.
It is expected that ellbrts will soon be
made to tame elephants iu some regions
of Africa, aud make ilium useful to the
whiles there as beasts of burden, says
the New York Sun. In several eastern
countries the employuieiit-of Indian ele
phants for draught and earryiug pur
poses is almost universal, and the ques
tion has recently been raised whether
their African i-oiwius caunol be tamed
and made useful in great districts
where the deadly tsetse Uy prevents the
use of horses anil cdllc. We have seen
many tame African elephants in me
nageries and circuses, among which
Jumbo was the most famous; but for
many centuries tho elephant ban not
been domesticated in Africa, for the
reason that his habitat for huudreds of
years has 'been only among savage
tribes, who have no use for him 'except
to kill hint for food aud ivory. Ouly
two rece'nt instances are known of the
taming of elephants bv negro tribes.
Some fifteen years ago King Mtesa sent,
as a preaeut to the Sultan of Zanzibar,
a perfectly tame youii!' elephant, and
seven years ago aii explorer in Angola
reported that lie found a tame elephant
among the natives of the River Cuuene.
In 1S79 the International Association
imported a number of Indian elephants
into Africa. They were heavily laden
with goods for .the white station at
Kareme. on lake Tanganyika, and
started west with a caravan from the
Zanzibar coast. The experiment was a
failure. Not one of them lived to reach
the great lake, and all died within five
months. Although the experiment was
not fairly conducted, the elephants be
ing far too heavily laden aud also im
properly fed. it is not likely to be soon
repeated.
The African elephant has tbe reputa
tion of being less docile and intelligent
than his Indian relative, but there seem
to be no good grounds for this belief.
For hundreds of years before and after
the dawn of the Christian era. when
herds of elephants roamed in the Atlas
Mountains and were found in many
parts of North Africa, they were hunted
by the Egyptians and the Carthage
mans, and captive elephants were thor
oughly tamed and trained for carrying
purposes antl also for war. They were
taught to trample down the enemy in
battle. The war elephants that nearly
succumbed amid the snows of the Alps
when Hannibal led them into Italy were
from Africa, and mauy an elephant that
marched iu the triumphs of Roman gen
erals through the streets of Rome were
a part of the war establishment of Car
thage. To-day the wild African ele
phant can be" found only south of the
Sahara Desert, in the jungles of savage
Africa.
After African eiephants ceased to be
used in war they still figured largely in
Rome in the cruel snorts of the circus.
They were sent into the arena to light
for their lives with lions, tigers, and
other ferocious beasts. They were also
trained to perform remarkable tricks,
and if what the Latin writers say about
the African elephant be true he is cer
tainly not surpassed in intelligence by
the Indian quadruped.
Mr. Forepaugh, announced the other
day that beforo long he would have a
horse whom he has taught to walk a
tight rope, attempt the feat of crossing
the Niagara gorge, after the manner of
Mr. Blond in. Suetonius, iu his de
scription of the reign of the Roman Em
peror Galba. tells of a wonderful ele
phant, whose performances, he says, were
attested by thousands of witnesses. This
elephant was iu4he habit of mounting
a cable and slowly walking up to the
top of the circus with his Rouiau trainer
on his back. He would then descend to
the arena again by the same route. The
hisloriau has not "intormed us whether
the accomplished animal carried a bal
ance pole in his trunk.
A. J. Wauters. of Brussels, one of the
leading authorities ou questions relating
to Africa, and other gentlemen who have
made a study of the Africnu elephant,
believe that it is entirely feasible to tame
this uoble lord of the jungles, and put
bis back to the same uses for which hun
dreds of black, porters are now hired.
No attempts have yet been made by
white men to catch him alive except for
menagerie purKses. but there are pio
neers uow iu Africa who hope some day
to see him trained aud trudging obe
diently along in a caravan.
It is not difficult to distinguish the
Africa u from the Indian elephant. The
African auimal is noted for much great
er convexity of face, for longer tusks,
and for much larger ears than his Indian
relative.
Snake-Charming.
As for the so-called charming of ser
pents, it may be practiced by anyone
who from observation comprehends the
movements of the -reptiles ami knows
how far to venture ou familiarities.
Confidence and dexterity on the part of
the "charmer" can overcome fear and
subtletv ou the part of the snake, which,
after alf, is only watching its' oppor
tunity to strike or to escape. The jug
glers understand this very well, and
kuow how far the suuke can reach to
strike. Keeping at a safe distance, they
irritate it just enough to make it follow
the movements of their hands, or the
bite of bright cloth waved before them,
and which iu point of fact is a shield to
receive the bite should Ihe cobra at
tempt to strike. The snake has risen
ami expaudeii its "hood." not for auy
admiration to the flaunted colors or for
any enjoyment of the discordant din
which is KiipMsed lo charm it, but. in
self-nrolccfiou. the better to aim at its
tormentor. "He is the best charmer,"
says Dr. Vincent Richards, in his valu
able work. "L-tndmarks of Snake-Poisoned
L tcralurc." "who is the most inti
mately coim-tttani wiih the movements
of the reptiles under varying condi
tions.' Cor. London Glubc.
Vry Hare Indeed.
"Ah, my dear." 6aid Mr. Lustily, who
was in a poetic frame of mind that
morning, "oue of the loveliest seasons
of the year has slipped by and taken a
back seat iu the calendar, June, gentle
June, the mouth of roses. 'What is
more rare thau a day iu Juue?' "
"I can tell you what is more rare
thau a day in June," remarked Mrs. L.
as she flopped a griddle-cake over vic
iously. "What is it. my dear?"
"A night in July or any other month
when you don't come home with the
smell of bad whisky on your breath."
Lushly took a clove and said nothing.
Texas Sifting!.
i m m
M. X- is a popular young bachelor
much sousrht' after by mammas who
have marriageable daughters. "Why is
it," asked Mme. Z. oue day. "that you
don't get married?" "Impossible my
dear madame," responded A. "I have
such a horror of divorce." French Fun.
"What kind of water is this?" asked
Biuks as ho drained off a glass of Irish
whiskv in the presence of his wife
"Celt." sir," answered his accomodating
friend. Aud Mrs. Binks was satisfied
that her husbaBd never drank intoxi
cants. Chicago Rambler.
A California phrase is "a heap more'n
CO.ccnts' worth."
ihi:
CHICAGO SHORT LIE
OK THE
Chicago, lilw A and
SLPaol Railway.
THE BEST HOUTE
From OMAHA and COUNCIL BLUFFS
TO THE KASX.
Twj Tnhs IMj tttvita Oaiii. Cm:ll Shft.
Chiosgo, and- Milwaukee,
St. Paul. MiiiResptlis, Cedar Rapids,
Clinton, Oubuque, Davenport,
Reck lstanaFreeport, Rockford,
Elgin, Madison, Janesville,
Beloit, Winona, La Crossa.
Aud all utber liupuiutut t'ointt K;sl,
Northeant and Southeast.
Kcr Ihit.tiKu lK'kt-1 .all tin Ihe Ti Wet
Ageut at L'oltiinhus, Nelru-W.i.
1'L'LLMAN SLKH'KKS and the Kl.VK.sr
1MNIMJ Cabs IX THK Woki.P are run on
the main linen or the t'felvacw. .III
waaltee St- Ml. Paml Ky. ami every
attention U paid to p-isenxer ly .our.
ttoua employ e of the Company .
M. Miller. A. '. II. 'wr stealer.
General Mau i-r. tieu'l I'ats. AkI.
J. F. Tacker, Clew. II. Ileaattfrd.
Ali'MieftM Man. A't Pass. Ag't.
J. I'.l'lark. (ien't Sup't.
Ket. IT-I
LOUIS SCHREIBER.
BlactsmiUi and Wa&on Maker.
All kiln's tf RepniiiH dent on
Start NutiVe. Biggies, Wag-
18, etc., wade to order.
aid all work tiuar-
aiteed.
Also Mil the world-famous Walter A.
Wood Mowers. Reapers. Combin
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and Self-bindtrs-the
best Made.
"Shop opposite the "Tsltersall," on
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DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 1.
A i ertaiu tire lor Nervoui Debility,
etiiiual VeaktieT Involuntary Kiiim
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Price, ?! IHiper box. ix boxe $.".Ihi.
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Loss of Power, premature" old age. and all
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For Headache, Nervous Neuralgia, and
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Price Jiv per box, six boxes $i,"K. "
DR. WARN'S SPECIFIC No. 5.
For all dieaies caused by the over-use
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oesa, ConToIaiona, Fita. Norrou- Neuralgia.
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by tho uait
of alcohol or tobacco. Wakefulness. Mental 1H
preaaion, 8of tening of. the iiraiu resulting in in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and deata.
Premature Old Ago, Barron ness. Loss of power
in either aez. Involuntary Losses and tJpermat
orrhoea caused by overexertion of tho brain, self
abuse) or over-indulgencu. Each box contain
one month's treatment. ft.Ou a box, or six boxes
forS3JJU,sentbymail prepaid on receipt of pries.
WI CUAKAXTKE MIX atta)XKS
To core any cue. With each order received byaa
for six boxes, accompanied with 3XQ ' will
send the purchaser our written guaraatee to re
fund the money if the treatment doesBoCsSTecS '
m cure. Quarauteea issued only by
JOHN O. "WEST & CO.,
M2 W. MADISON ST., CHICAGO, ILLS.,
Sola Prop's West's Iivec Pilla.
III
a-rr-r ,
. u -
3Ss
23 2.062
5E. " -
l5JaaZ-ZisS
C0OnB
u;
a Zbi.:
t.
i
n b a
O 3?
in presents given awaj.
Send us ." cents postage.
iuuv ami uy man you win gel
jree a package of goods of large value,
that will start you in work that will at
once bring you'in money faster than any
thing else in America All about the
$-'00,000 iu presents with each box.
Ageuts wauted everywhere, of either
sex, of all ages, for all the time, or spare
time only, to work for us at their own
Louies. Fortunes for all workers ab
fOlutely assured. Don't delay. H. Ual
LfcTT & Co., Portland. 3Iaiue.
SSOO REWARD I
WKwOlft OttslxnvrrwtrJ hrnr twf tlrrC
Pypr-a.fecfcHnriiih.l4nag.CncJtotCMinm
v- caaul an with Wirt'i Vrplakl- Urn WI. vbta Ua tU m
Uoatsra itrfcUy coap!i4 wttfc. 1ijmnfmy vtf-UfcW.wJ
Tr ail rlrs mlihnlw. ScfarCoaitd. Urg s.im.cji.
UUtBcSOfUb,cat, yr mtm sit drsfau. Sfcw!
.ifcrMu u4 laluitn . Tis (iuIw oualMfan ml sv
JOHN C WC3T COL. HI I. W. lUdUw. St., CnUmL
BSM ill. !. mil ii-..,.,-,......mtl
c
1AMPIKLL St CO.
DKAI.KKS IX-
" Uao-s and Iron !
vs-kb aaaiM
IaBSBI CWfr "
Bkaaaa BBk.. bbbbsbbw bb'b'b'b'b'8bx9
IMBBBJgHBiwTiiTwTHH
3s3:o I:
3i :
s Z 22
tSr SI M
2 2 CB) bh
a BJI
9" ? ?C Hi
$200
nui
The highest market price paid ior raga" .
aud iron.
hi. Store in the Hubaeh building.
t Columhutr. Neb. 15-tf
Olive s
I BcMs srs scarce, but this- who wilfe Is
SUtuOQ A rn..PiHtlsid. Main.III ,ri..
Item, full lufoiti.tion about uih wfaicb
they ran do. six Iitaal boiur.lbstoillMr
'tbcin from ffAtua22Mr dv. Soom haa
rarti-!o-trfAInaa tilbtt mj. jcunirorold. Capful
dU itqulr-ij. Yuuaieilulcl fie. TbuMtvbuilsrt at ouca,
r abKilaUlj aura or aoug lull futtuau. All U Ma.
"117 T TV more money than at auy thing;
If I 11 e,:e by ,!lki,,S an agency for
-a"L the best selling book out. Iter.
Kinnera succeed grandly. Nose rail,.
Term free. Haiaztt Book Co.. Pert
lacd, Maine. 4327
V