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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (April 14, 1886)
'. " A-j2 ": i-rsaV . s Z. fc- Stfv -jfcPif ;"Sv M-Bvnmv .1 fa i r f" liti ' " Vk fc?w n - i 1 b . THE JOURNAL. WEDNESDAY, APBIL 14, 18S6. at tks rwUScs, Cslsatai, XiK, u iMead astUr. MILLENNIAL CLIMAXES. Here to a book I'd like to sell." The speaker was shot dead. This homicide was Justified" The Judge and Jury said. 'Tom want barbed wire aad Uhtata rods." The farmer wasted rest, intii bull-pnptore the agent sore Twa taken as a Jest. The plumber forwarded bia bill WKh figure it was rife. The coart decreed that for bis greed He mast fee sent for life. I The lee-man aires away bis erops; - Good gas la served for fan, (And coal abounds. Two thousand pounds are crowded In a ton. MYSTERIOUS COUETING. Falls in Love) "With Woman's Voloa. Having decided to finish the year in Italy, I looked about me for a dwelling, to-be had upon reasonable terms. I found what I wanted in the outskirts of the ancient city of Lucca, one of the loveliest spots in the peninsula. The house was quite new, and in every way desirable, while the rent asked for it was absurdly low. I questioned the agent in regard to this oircumstance. Hav ing my money safe, he could afford to bo truthful. "There is nothing against the house Itself," he said, "but the grounds have the reputation of being haunted. Strange sounds are said to be heard near that ledgo of rook in the park yon der. We Italians n Miperstitioua, aignor," he added, with a bow, "but I presume to an American a ghost is no objection." "So little," I replied, laughing, "that I Bin obligwl to you for the opportunity of making the acquaintance of this one." Such superstitions are common in Italy, and the agent's story made very little impression upon me. During a tour of inspection around the premises I came upon the rock in question. It consisted of two walls of granite, per haps twenty feet in height, meeting at an oblique angle, covered over their greater extent with vines. It struck me as an exceedingly beautiful nook, and appropriate for my hours of out door lounging. On the following morning, provided with a book and cigar, I went thither, and disposed myself comfortably in the flhado of an olive. I had become ab sorbed in the volume, when I was atartled by the sound of. a voice near me. It was apparently that of a woman, wonderfully soft and sweet, aud was singing one of the ballads of the coun try. I could distinguish tho words as perfectly as if spoken at arm's length from inc. I started up in amazement. I had no visitors and my only servant was an old man. Nevertheless, I made a thorough exploration of tho neighbor hood, and satisfied myself that there was no one in the grounds. Tho only ?ublic road was half a mile distant, ho nearest dwelling was directly op Sositc, across a level plain in sight, ut far out of ear-.hot. In a word, I could mako nothing of it. I observed that when I left my original position under the olive tho voice be came instantly silent It was only with in the circumference of a cirolo of about two yards in diameter that it was audible at all. It appeared to proceed from the angle between the two walls of rock. The minutest examination failed to re veal anything but the bare rock. Yet it was out of this bare rock that the voice issued. I returned to my former station in downright bewilderment. The agent's story occurred to me, but even now I attached no weight to it I am a practi cal man, and was firmly convinced that there must be some rational explanation of tho mystery, if I could but discover it The voice was certainly that of a young girl. But where was she? Was tho old fable of the wood nvmph a truth after all? Had I discovered" a dryad em bosomed in the rook? I smiled scornful ly even as these fancies ran through my head. For more than half an hour the singing continued. Then it ceased and, though I waited patiently for its re newal, I heard no more of it that day. When I returned to the house I made no nention of the matter, resolving to keep it to myself until I had solved the mys tery. The nest morning at an early hour I returned to the spot After a tedious interval tho singing began. It went softly and dreamily through one verse of a song and ceased. Presently I heard deep sic h and then in a slow, thought ful tone the voice said: "Oh, how lonesome it is. Am I to pass my whole life alone in lhisdrearr place? There was no answer; evidently the person was merely soliloquizing. Could she hear me if I spoke,' as I heard her, supposing her to be a living being at all. I determined to hazard the experi ment "Who is it that is speaking?" I asked. For some moments there was no reply; then in a low, frightened whisper, the voice said: , "What was it? I heard a voice." "Yes," I answered. "You heard mine. I spoke to you." "Who are you?" asked the voice, tremulously; "are you a spirit?" "I am a living man," I returned. Can you not see me?" "No;" answered the voice "I can only hear you. Oh, where are you? Pray do not frighten mc Come out of your concealment and let me sec you." Indeed, I don't wish to alarm vou." I replied. "I am not hiddon. I am standing directly in-front of the spot whence your voice seems to come." "You aro invisible" was the treiu bliug answer. "Your voice comes to mc out of the air. Yon must be a spirit What have I done to deserve this?" "Have no fear of me, I entreat you," I said earnestly. "It is as much a mys tery to me as it is-to you. I hear you apeak, but you arc likewise invisible." Are you a real living being?" asked the voice, doubtfully. "Then why do I not see you? Come to me. I will sit here: I will not fly.'" "$ Tell me where I am to come," I said. Hero in my garden, in tho arbor." There is no arbor here, I returned. Only a solid rock out of which you seem to be speaking." "Saints protect me!" answered the voice. "It is too awful. I dare not stay here longer. Spirit or man, farc- "But you will come again," I pleaded. "Let me hear you speak ouco more. Will you not be here to-morrow at the same hour?" "I dare not but yet your voice sounds as if you would'do me no harm ie, I will come." Then there was utter silence, the mysterious speaker had gone. I re turned home m a state of stupid won der, questioning myself if I had not lost mr senses and if the whole occurrence raa mot a delusion. I was faithful to ay appointment with the voice on the -foUewing morning, however. I had -araked but slew momenta, When the Wing accents arose ueaueaoB, -T here.' "I have not slept the whole night,' said the voice. "I was eo tcrriGed. I am very much afraid that I am doing wrong to come" "Are you still afraid of me?" Not exactly, but it is so strange. Will you tell mo your name?,r "I don't know Lenorc What Is yours?" "George," I answered, imitating her example and giving my first namo only. "Shall wo not be friends, Lo nore?" "Ob, yes," answered the voice with a silver peal of laughter. Evidently ita owner was getting over her "fears, "Don't be offended, George. It is so strange two people who can not see each other, and perhaps never will; making friends. " Twill roIvo the mvstervvct Lc- nore," I answered, "ancf find out where, you are. Would you be glad to see mo in my proper person?" Yes," was the reply, "I should like to see you." "And I would give a great deal to see you. Lenoro. You must be very beauti ful, if your face is like your voice." Oh, hush!" was the agitated answer. It is not right to speak thus." "Why not? Do vou know, Lenorc, that if this goes on I shall end by fall ing in love with you, though I never sco yniT "ion are very audacious," was tne reply. "If you wero really hero before me I should punish you for it As it is I am going now." But vou will come again to-morrow, Lenorer' "If you will promise to bo more dis creet, George yes." As may be imagined, I did not fail to keep myengagoment with my invisible friend. For many consecutive days these strange meetings continued. As absurd as it may seem, tho voice was be ginning to make a powerful impression upon me. I felt m ita soft tones tho manifestation of a sweet, refined wom an'steoul. True, I had made no prog ress .toward unravelling the mystery. Nevertheless I was confident thafl through some inexplicable dispensation of Providence I had been permitted to hold communion with a real living, lovely woman from an unknown dis tance. She had not yet told me more than her first name, and I did not prow her for moro as yet. Her only answer to my question as to where sho was, was "In the garden." She did not seem, capable of grasping tho fact that I was not invisibly near her and capable of seeing her." She seemed content with, matters as they stood, and for the pres ent I could do no more. I made no ono nry confidant as to my daily occupation; first because I knew that I should be retarded as a madman, upon my mere statement of the facta, and, next, because I shrunk from hav ing an auditor at my mysterious con' ferenccs. Will it bo believed? I Was inj love with the invisible girl in lova with a voice! Absurd, of course, but I am not tho first man who has fallen in love with a woman's voice. Besides, was confident that it was only a matter of time before I should see the girl in person. One dajr toward the end of summer wo had been talking as usual, and I had said: "My stay in Italy is nearly over, Lenore." Ah," was the quick reply, "you will loavo me. George. No, Lenore," I answered, not if. you wish mo to stay." How can 1 help it, George, whether you go or ulav? I havo never seen vou I never shall seo you. What am I to you?" All the world, Lenorc," I answered. Ours has been a strange experience. Without knowing each other as people ordinarily do. wo havo j-ct been close friends. You arc more to mo than a friend. I love you, Lenore." Thero was a quick, suppressed cry no other reply. "Be truthful. Lenore. Toll me your heart If you love me, trust to mo to discover your whereabouts and come to you. If you do not, say it, aud I will spare von the pain of meeting me, and never let us speak again." Thero was a pause, then she tremu lously said: "I have never seen you, but my heart tells mo to trust you. I know vou arc good and noble, and I am will ing to leavo mv fato in your hands. Yes, George, ilovoyou." Even as sho said the words she ut tered a cry of alarm. Then a grufl man's voice spoke: "Go to your room, Lenore. As to this villion with whom you have been holding these secret meetings, we shall soon find him and punish him as ho deserves. Search for the rascal, Antonio, and bring him to me. There was a quick trampling of fee) and the sound of crushing shrubbery as if men were breaking through it Then another man's voice spoke: "He has disappeared. Your Excellence." "Very well; wo shall firfu hjjh yet He can not escape mo. This is a fine piece of business, surely the daughter of Count Villani holding secret meet ings with some common vagabond. Lenore shall take tho vail." "Yes," I cried, "the bridal vetL Count I shall pay my respects in per son to-day." Then leaving them to get over theje astonishment as best they might, I re turned to the house in high spirits. The name, Count Villani, baa grVen me tho clew to the whereabouts of Lenore. The dwelling of which I have spoken as rtfr, uate across the plain and opposite the rock was the residence of Count Villani. I had met the old gentleman in the oky and formed a speaking acquaintance1 with him. As neither of us had men tioned our private affairs, I had no means of connecting his daughter with my invisible girl. That :iftecpoon I presented myself to the Count and, after amazing him with my story, which a few tests convinced him was true, for mally proposed for his daughter's hand. As mv wealth and social position wore well known he offered no objections and his daughter was sent for. ' As she entered the room I saw that, my inea oi ncr nau been less loan true I had never seen so lovely a woman, not one who so perfectly embodied my Irigh cst conception of grace aud beauty. Hof dark eyes, still wet with tears, met miufj inquiringly. "Lenore," said 1, "I havo ooine as promised." "George," sho said, with a radiant smile, "is it you?" "Are vou disappointed?" I asked. Am I wliat you expoctedP" "You could not be moro," she an swercd naively, "you arc no less." "Now that we meet as solid and ina-i terial beings," I continued, "aro you willing to ratify tho contract we made! when we were only voices, Lenore? Your father gives us pc-mission." It may be supposed that I received satisfactory answor, when the good natured Count found it discreet to turn away his eyes during my reaeption of it As to the strange circumstances which was the means of uniting us, a series of tests revealed a remarkable aeoustio property in tho rock by which persona standing in certain positions with refer ence to it were able to -hear each other with ease more than a quarter of a mile apart It is a very "matter-of-fact solu tion of the mystery, but Lenore and I are none tho less grateful for the good offices of the rock. C. L. Eildren, ti K. . Werld. Talking parrots can not be bought now, at least from sailors; for in -the old time the sailor made his twelve months- .voyage, and was ablo to teach his parrot a language. Mow toe voyages last too short a time, and the talking parrot only comes into the market when ais owner is forced to sell for HOW TO GET CREDIT. A Mm Aboat Town TelU How He Staaases to Bon Bill. It is easy enough to get credit in New York," said a tall and solemn-looking young man, as he sat carelessly twirling a glass of vermuth in his hand and star ing at the other loungers in Delmoni co's. "Look at me, for instance. By carefully acting a part for the past three years, and looking after effects with great thoughtfulness, I have succeeded in establishing myself so that I am al most as well known about New York as many of tho sons of old New York fam ilies. To begin with, I never spent much money for clothes. This is really the secret of success, for when a yonngish man wears lots of clothes people may think that ho is a jrood deal of a dashing swell, but they aro much moro likely to conclude that he has won a small pot of monev at the races, at faro.'or in oil, and is spending it all in buying flashy attire. "I brought a dress suit to New York with me, hail tho trousers token in a bit and the waist-coat cut in horseshoe fashion, and I hadn't been hore a week before I had fallen into the habit of wearing it every night It is a habit I have never allowed myself to break. At six o'clock overy night of my life, when I get home from business, I pull off my working trousers, take my bath, shavo myself and put on mveningdress. Hive in a boarding-houso, for the very good and substantial reason that it is the most economical mode of lifo in New York. I know that it is not at all proper, but then it is so much more oasy to get along. I was careful to pick out a house whore thero was only one other boarder, so that thero is only ono man to advertise the fact that I do notoceupy an oxcnsive suite of apartments. I havo resolutely paid my board in ad vance every week since I have boon in tho houort. "Now as to establishing a credit Take livery stable, for instance. No man knows bettor than the average Now Yorker how noce3sary it is at times to command a cab. I havo never yet taken up with one of the peripatetic street hacknien. it does you no good at all, you know. They invariably cluirge as much as sfcibles;thoy are never in liv ery, and their cabs aro seldom clean; sw whenever 1 wanted a cab during my early days in New York, 1 dropped into tho "best livery stable hi New York, or dered a coupnj raado it a point to objecV if there was any mud on it, or the har ness looked a bit rusty, and was never at all familiar with the livery stable keeper. The first night out I told the man to charge it, and he, supposing I was a regular custoinor, did so. I was fully prepared to pa' the bill, but did not do it on principle. The following morning as early as nine o'clock, the collector was around from tho stable. I paiti him promptly, and ordered another couim) for that night This I also hung up, and when the collector came around on time tho next morning I gave him the money, sent hiin back to the stable, and told him to send a coupe around at once, as it was rainy and I was in a hurry to get down to the office. "You may think it an unnecessary oxpeuso. and it certainly did look rather queer for a man holding a subordinate position to drive down to business in a three-dollar-an-hour equipage, but I knew wluvt 1 was doing. I am witli a banking firm, you know, and when I got out at tho office and told the driver to charge it, carelessly, he actually touched his hat He went back and re ported to the stable, and for tho next two years and from that time on my bill was rendered monthly. I can havo anything I want at the stable, and I havo long had the advantage of tho special discount to regular customers. "With restaurants, I have pursued the samo plan. I am never familiar with a waiter, but I invariably tip him comfortably, aud the result is that he soon learns my namo and is more or less impressed by the fact that I always appear to have plenty of time, and am invariably clad in evening attire. I never go 'anywhere except to tho Bruns wick, Delmonico's or the Hoffman. The advantages of being seen in places of this character aro numerous. It is much better to encounter your emplovors about town at night instead of finding yourself in the presence of office boys. "All these things havo their effect, you know. When I went down town in the coupe that morning, about tho time I was establishing my credit with the livery stable, thenead of my department smiled with some derision and askodmo if I had made a lucky turn in tho mar ket It was a very small lib to tell him that I had been out all night, but that I had resolved to bo on time in tho morn ing, but it was a very effective flb all the same. As he is a bachelor apd a good deal of a man about town, he soon got accustomed to seeing me about, and I mado it a point never to be familiar with him. The result is that when I am sitting hore In Delmonico's he often comes over and chats pleasantly with me about business, and feels that he may leave mo with, perfect propriety when it suits his convenience, ana that I do not expect to bo Introduced to his friends. "I have briefly outlined the scheme by which I have managed to get orcdlt, for I need not explain that a man who becomes a regular customer at any of tho up-town restaurants can easily get credit by a little judicious management I am now in tho proud position of a man who haiLbeen but three yoars in New York, and yet who has credit every where, and "b nearly twenty thousand dollars in debt without owning a pen ny's worth of property. It's a great scheme; but between yon and me Il giv my ears if I had never succeeded in it, and if I was still obliged to live upon a cash basis." N. Y. Sun. CELESTIAL HUMOR. Veaerable Specialties of Wit from the Clil nmie Book of Luthr. Tho China Review publishes a col lection of Chinese humorous anec dotes, selected from the "Hsiao Lin Kuang." or "Book of Laughter," some of which aro interesting, because they are identical with stories familar to Western civilization, while others have a peculiarly Celestial accent: Two persons standing over a stove on a cold day, warming themselves, wero overheard indulging in tho follow ing dialogue: No. 1, apathetic, aud given to verbiage, addressed No. 2, re putedly hot-tempered and decisive, whoso clothes ho noticed smoldering, as follows: "My dear friend, thero is something I would liko to speak to you about; I havo soon it for some time and all along havo wanted to tell you, but as people say your temper is fiery, I hesitated; on tho other hand, if I do not speak, you may bo a loser, so I have come to tho conclusion at last to ask your permission to do so." 'Out with it," said the other. "Well, your clothes are burning," mildly continued No. 1. "Why the deuce," cried No. 2, in a pas sion, as ho observed considerable dam age already done, "could you not speak at once?" "It is true, then, what people say wliat a temper he lias got!" muttered No. 1, as ho lazily moved off. "Come home to dinner," cried a good housewife to her husband at work in a field. "All right," he shouted, "as soon as I have hid my hoe." At dinner his wife remonstrated with hiin for shout ing so loudly about hiding his hoe. "I am certain,''' said she, "die neighbors have.beard you, aad some one has al- tadr stolen ." auwm. won we r- mark, the man returned to the field, and, sure enough, the hoe was gone. On returning to his house, and im pressed with the wisdom of her previous caution, he whispered into his wife's ear: "The hoc is stolen." The following impromptu, though consequent on a fall,, can not be looked upon as the outcomo of a deficient un derstanding. A man stumbled and fell. Trying to rise, he again fell. "Hang it," he cried, "if I had known I was to fall again, I would not have tried to get up." A spirit about to be re-embodied was. at tho final interview with the lord of hades, informed that ho was to be born into a rich family, and would becomo very wealthy. "I don't want it," said the spirit; "just give mo enough for food and clothes, that is sufficient" "No, no," was the reply; "you must at least have a few thousand dollars; it would never do to let you havo too ea3V a life." LINCOLN AND GRANT. Their First Meeting: Prior to the Campaign of the Wilderness. In my first interview with Mr. Lincoln alono ho stated to mo that ho had never professed to bo a militaiy man or to know how campaigns should be con ducted, and never wanted to interfero in them; but that procrastination on the part of commanders and the pressure from the people at the North and Con eress, which was always with him. forced him into issuing his series of "Military Orders" one, two, throo,' n etc. Ho did not know but they were all wrong, and did know that some of them were. All he wanted, or had ever want ed, was some one who would take tho responsibility aud act, and call on him for all tho assistance needed, pledging himself to use all the power of the Gov ernment in rendering such assistance. Assuring him that. I would do tho best I could with the means at hand, aud avoid as far as possible annoying him r tho War Department, our first interview, ended. The Secretary of War I had mot once liefore onlv, but felt that I knew him belter. While commanding in West Tennessee wo had occasionally hold con versations over the wires at night, when they were not lieing otherwise used. He and Geyoral Halleek both cautioned mo against giving the President my plans of campaign, saying that ho was so kind-hearted, so averse from refusing anything asked of him, that some friend would be sure to get from him all he knew. I should havo said that in our interview the President told mo that he did not want to know what I proposed to do. But ho submittedta plan of cam- faign of his own which he wanted me to icar and then do as 1 pleased about He brought out a map of Virginia on which he had evidently marked every position occupied by the Federid aud Confeder ate armies up to that time. Ho pointed out on the map two streams which empt' into the Potomac, and suggested that the army might bo moved on boaU and landed between tho mouths of those streams. We would then have tho Poto mac to bring our supplies and the tribu taries would protect our Hanks while wo moved out I listened respectfully, but did not suggest that the same streams would protect Loo's flanks while he was shutting us up. I did not communicate my plans to the President nor did I to the Secretary of War, or to Geueral Halleek." Uaural Grant, in Century. A HORSE TRADE. How tlio Professionals of Texas Manage Questionable Transactions. G. W. Bulger is one of the best horse traders in Western Texas. Not long since he offered for sale a largo bay horso to Colonel Witherspoon, who thinks he knows all that is to be known about a horse. Colonel Witherspoon bought the horso at a very low price. Gilhooly, who happened to bo present when the trado was made, took the pur chaser aside and said to him: "Colonel Witherspoon, how did you come to let yourself bo taken in on that horse? Don't you seo that he is lame in his left hind IcgP" Colonel Witherspoon winked and whispered to Gilhooly. "I am not fooled a blamo bit in that horse. I know he islamo, but his lame ness comes from a nail in his hoof. I'll just have that nail pulled out and then tho horse will not limp and will bo worth twice what I gave for him. It's a big bargain and don't you give it away." Gilhooly whittled and remarked: "Well, yon are a shrewd one after all." "It will be a cold day when I get left on a horse trade," replied Witherspoon, as ho led off his limping purchase. Next day Gilhooly mot G. W. Bulger. "Bulger, you aro not as smart at a borso trade as I thought you wore. You let Witherspoon have that horse for half what he is worth." "Aro you sure of thatP" "Certainly I am. That lamonoss coines from a nail in his hoof. Wither spoon will pull tho nail out, cure up the sorb place, and the horse will bo worth twico what ho paid you." "Idon,tthinkso,"repliedBulger. "I know all about that nail in the horse's hoof. I drove it in myself." "You did?" 'Yes. You seo I wanted people to be lieve that it was the nail that made him limp, but he was lame before. He w.ll keep on being lame after that nail is out Ho always will be lame. Do yon see now?" "Well, yes, I think I do. I'm glad you told me. When I want to buy a horse f know who not to buy from. ' Texas Si flings. FRANCE AND ENGLAND. Contrast Between Them In Kespeet to Land Oultlratlou. The case of Flanders is always cited as an illustration of tho benefits ol peasant proprietorship, and there, it is stated, the small farms own more .cattle, yield more produce, and are more carefully cultivated than the large farms. "I have seon in Belgium," says Mr. Arnold, "women scratching with their lingers fair crops of potatoes from nearly white sand a miracle oi agricultural industry, of thrift and of perseverance, such as belongs only to peasant proprietorship. In France, again, it is said that agri cultural land fetches a higher price than iu England, anil that tho largest clear produce and the best cultivation aro, on tho whole, that of the peasant proprietors. M. Lavelcye asserts posi tively that tho richest and most pro ductive provinces in Franco aro those in which the small land owners are in a majority, and Mr. Cliffc Leslie, in in tho chapter ho contributes to the volume on tho "Systems of Land Tenuro of Various Countries," pub lished by the Cobtlcn Club, has much to say in the same direction. The reply to all this, fairly enough, is, that France is not England, and that in France thero are special circumstances of soil and climate, associated with vine growing, fruit culture and the like which render the country appropriate to "la potito culture." A peasant proprietor in France can, on ten acres of land, mako. ends meet and put a little into tho fam ily "stocking" every year, but it does not follow that a peasant proprietor of ten acres in England could do the samo. It is all very well to urge market gar dening; but tho demand for garden produce is not limitless, and is already abundantly supplied, partly at home, but mostly from foreign countries mors bountifully qualified by nature for the Bwrpoaa.-r-.4M cm wmr Momuu WILL-POWER. lis Eaaaeatable Fallow to Work Case of Oae Bfaa's Itesolatloaw No man likes to have any one tell : him that he has no will-power. A man s i weakest spot of coaYtt is tho supposi- ' tion of a personal possession of will-' " power. My friend Bjinks got very j wrathy when a friend told him that he 1 (Bjinks) hadn't will-power enough to , stop chewiug tobacco. "What! I've got no will-power P Why, man alive. : you don't kuowme. . I've quit, buck wheat cakes. I used to bo a pcrfeot slave to the deadly griddle placques. ! I " 1 "Yes, you've quit them because your , wife's mother will not allow her rooms 2 to be smoked and scented up any moro." I W well! Isn't my allowing my wifo's mother to sot her foot down upon one of ray pleasures ono of the grandest manifestations of will-power, I'd liko to know?" clustered Bjinks. "It might be ; but, all the same, I re- iterate, you haven't got will-power enough to quit chowing tobacco. ! "Ifcivon't, hey ? See here, I'm going I rabbit-hunting to-morrow. When I re ! turn I shall bo able to tell you that I'vo formed a solemn resolution to quit chewing. You can believe me. If there is any one thing more than an 1 other that I'm proud of, its my im mense "Very well. Try it on, and good luck to you, Bjinks. I snpposo you'll come back from rabbit-hunting hump backed with will-power instead of game. Good morning!" and Bjinks's friend took his departure. Ijje got no wr -:vwcr! Humph! I'm prouc i proud of iiiy w vir. When I put my foot down u- - a rhinor, I do it. A stone wall -lidn't turn mo out of my way, whon 1 lay go. Can't quit chewing! Nonittuso! Any man can do a thing whnu once he sc.U out to do it. I'll go rabbit-hunting to-morrow, and to show my friend that I've got will-power enough to pass round among my noighuor, I'll form the resolution to quit chewing while I'm on the chase. Will-power! Bah! Only children and weak, puny women haven't any will-power." Thus Bjinks uiuried as ho wended his way toward his ollice. All day long ho ehewod vigorously. To-niofrow ho will mauifjtfst the stupendous abun dance of will-power whioh can be eu sompassed iu otui human frame, 5 feet u inches, weighing 113 pounds. When the roseate blush of early morn pooped through the windows of the house, Bjioks arosu, got his gun, .ailed his dog, aud slur tod forth to slay the gentle rabbit. The air was crisp and fresh. Bjiuks felt as buoyant as a boy with a little roil bob-a!ed. Ho felt a new strength withiu him. He feels more manly, more like one of nature's noblemen, aud less a serf to a slavish habit. His thoughts rove to his childhood's days, when he wore a chip hat and went ih;hiug with a pin hook; when he drove the cows home to milk, and stole cream off the pans in the cellar (when ho got a thrashing for that act aud various other little mistakeu ideas of life too numerous to meutiou); when ho wove tho wreath of romance from tho page of a dime novi'l. and went forth bent for the trackless plains to slay redskins with a hammerloss pistol and a brass pair of false knuckles. AH theso and various other items connected with his days of freedom illuminated tho research of his memory. He is once more free Ho slaps his hand upon his hip pocket Ho halts and stares about him. A cotton-tailed rabbit sits upon its haunches and blinks its curious eyes and points ita rose-tinted ears at him. "Great heavens! I've como away with out my tob Pshaw! How foolish lam. Aha! will-power. Bjinks; will-power." The rabbit flashed out of sight and the man of stupendous will plodded on iu search of tracks. His thoughts went back to his spark ing days. Tho little parlor with a tire in winter and dampness in summer; this gate that swung without a creak when ho entered at eight, but groaned enough to wako tho seven sleepers when he went out at throo the next morning; the attenuated btmdlo of aon veraation he was wont to throw at his darling seven nights in tho woek; tho pop flic "yes' the holy altir of matri "By heavens I must have been a blockhead! Here I am five miles from home without my tob Pshaw! non sense; will-power, Bjinks; will-power!" It was a struggle. It was a rwontless, Qndless, ceaseless struggle. Ho saw half a dozen rabbits. He shot at them. He didn't bag a single rabbit His hand was very unsteady. But ho was growing big in his own eyos; for his immense will-power. He hurried ovor the ground as quick a possible and make tracks for tho town. Tho first man he met was his friond who bad twitted hiin about not having will- Kowcr. -"Ah! mv festive Nlmrod. een shooliug. ehP Got a bag I " "For tho sako of Heaven ami a suffer ing man, give mo a chow!" groaned Bjinks, abjectedlv. "Will-pow " "Bo hanged to it! Your plug oh! thanks. Good morning;" anil Bjinks went homo feeling like a man again, but very sensitive on the question of will-power. H. H. JCcUcr, in Boston Qlob. SAGE REMARKS. A Texan Philosopher' Vlnws of the World anil Its Contents. A bom musician has a great advan tage over one who is not born. If ho wore fed regularly the shark would not bo half as ravenous as ho is. When a great man die of hunger, that is a suro indication that he will soon have a monument. When a man says: What a blawsted kentry this is, that is an indication that he is an Englishman. Those whom wo have compelled to concede our natural advantage are tho ones who are best acquainted with our failings. When a sick man refuses to send for a doetor that is a ign that he still clings to life. The fact that there are two hemi spheres goes to demonstrate that the shape of tho earth is spherical. In society a woman is admired for her good look and her talent, but if sho wants to make herself solid with her husband, she should see that his shirt-buttons are in their places, that his meals arc properlv cooked, and that he gets them regularly. All knowledge that does not strength en a man's uprightness of purpose goes to mako him a dangerous member of society. The only sensible time to be happy is tho present momont Most people put it off until week after week, and then forget all about it There is considerable difference be tween pride and vanity. The proud man esteems himself very highly ; tho Tain man brags about himsalf. The difference between genius and talent is that the former is a perpetual, never-failing spring; the latter is merely a cistern that has to bo filled up from timo to time. Jealous people lovo themselves moro than they do those whom they torturo with their jealousy. Looking at pictures is an easy mode of thinking. It seems to me that a hen that lays two eggu a day must neglect some of fcsjr atber dutias. Ifeca Siflittg- r PITH AND POINT. I can give you a cold bito," sak) the woman. "Why not warm it up? i asked tho tramp. "There ain't any wood sawed." "That sof Well, give II - meoold." Ni T. Sun. Up to the time of going to press New Haven possesses 'the champion mean man. He looks through amami- . fying glass at a cent to sco iliat nobody ..has stolen a feather out of the Indian's head. New Haven News. A certain judge was not remarkable for sagacity on the bench. .At an ofu clal ball ho criticized tho waltzing of a witty member of tho bar. An! my friend, you are a bad waltecr.,t "Ah! but you are a bad judge," was the re joinder. Prairie Farmer. Sliding down hill and shinny-stick are all tho rage under the more elegant appellations of tobogganing and polo. If somebody will only invent a high sounding namo for them, we shall not despair of peg-top, marbles and hop scotch one day becoming exceedingly fashionable among the elite Boston Transcript. "Look here," remarked DeWiggs to the corner grocer, "this pavement here is awful slippery. Why don't you throw somo sand on itP" "Can't got a bit," replied the groeer. "Well, throw some sugar over it; the pavement won't know the difference." "Chestnutr yelled tho grocer. Pitlsburah Chroniele Up hi the choir the tenor was mak ing love to tho soprano in mnflled voice while the preacher was waxing eloqueut in tho pulpit below. "You're a dear," the young man whispered. "A doe, rather, "'the soprano smiled back. "Ah, yes," replied the tenor; "you're tho do fa mi." Sho killed him with a look. Chicago Tribune. "Some folks say I'm conceited," re marked young Popinjay tho other day, "but I'm not I don't bolter In hiding what I'vo got under a bushel, that's all. "That's where you're right, young man," exclaimed a bystander, approv ingly; "I wouldn't waste a bnshol on il if I were you. A small-slxod plat meas ure would be amply sufficient SomcT' ville Journal. Young artist I think my ploture is going to be aceepted by the academy. Friend You don't say so! flood. I am glad to hear it Young artist Jenkins told mo to-day that while ho was before the hanging: committee my work was brought np lor discussion. Jenkins said that tho chairman, who has a great deal to say about theso thingu, oxclaimed very pronouncedly: O, hang that picture. It looks very encouraging, doesn't It?" Tidbits. A MARRIAGE&k'tE. Interesting- Scene Wltutbwed In a Dakota Justlco-Utiup. Old Bill Ditmars was recently elected a justice of tho peaco in a Dakota town. He had formerly taught school and run a small post-office somewhere in Penn sylvania and had como West liko so many other men with the intention of not accoptiug any thing lea than the Governorship, but when he got hero ho found tho ground pretty' well covered with men possessed of a similar idea. Tho woods also appeared to be full, while, figuratively spanking, the houses wore overflowing andthotr feet were sticking plentifully out of tho windows; all of them had gone put-with tlio ex pectation of getting somo good office and "running things." So when ho found how matters stood ho just gavo out around that he had onco been cir cuit judgo in Pennsylvania, and settled down to finding fault with overy thing in the neighborhood. Tlio next day after ho was elected jus tice a big, awkward voung fellow camo into the office and said: "Mr. Ditmars" "Jcdjjo, cf you please, young man. Jedgc Ditmars." "Well, jedgc, then. You marries' folks, do you, jedgc?" "I does." "Yes, so I s'poscd. I want you to do tho job fir us, I and " "All right, young man, I'll tend to vou. I'll nut vour case on the docket --: I s'pose you can givo security for tho costs?" "How's that?" "I say I'll enter that case o' yourn on the docket" "But wo want to be married now we're in a hurry Louwcse Is out'n tho wag'n now." "Can't help it, youngman, got 'o go at theso things right. JEf you want?o go on with tho caso I'll issue a sum mons for tho girl and make out a war'nt." "Who's goin' ter uso this war'nt?" "Tho conster'ble, of eo'rs." "Now, jedgo, I ca'kerlate you aint goin' to do any sich thing. I toll you Louwcse is out'n the wag'n. "Don't mako no dif r'nee yon don't knownothin' 'bout law. Aint I got the statutes right hero in these books? Don't you s'pose a Justice knows w'ot he's do'n, still P You can not begin no action in this court, thout it goes on tho docket and have all parties con cerned supenorod to appear and show cause. Iisser eite-ations to all' your folks, and yeu eomo on the day w'ieh is, sot You don't have to have a jury 'less vou want, though I alien recom mend It Then ef either of you want to back out you can get a writ of man damorus aad that fixes you. If yon are engaged to any other gal she ean put a 'taehment of habeas corpus onto yon and replevor you out Vow, do yon want to begin this action on the Srem'ses hereintoforward mentioned, or on't you?" "Youthu'drin old fool, I don't believe you know how to mar'y folks!" "I fine you five dollars for contempt of court! Don't know nothln', hoy? I'll show you! Think cos I've jist been, 'leoted that you ean run on met Think this is my first cose, d'you? I'M have you understand it ain't; I swared a man to an afferdavit this morning fore sun up. Mcbby yoq think I'm.'ylst somo common noterar public, but afore you git through with mo you'll Had out I ain't uo Sob thing. Now, you jist pay that five dollars and get out, or I'll im prison you for Btartin' a suit when you ain't got no case, and ef I shot yon np orict Iwon't 'low nobody to pot no bail' onyon either!" Tho young man concluded the bes way to get out of it was to pay the floe. Then be hunffid up a minister, and soon ho and "Louwcse" were one. Bstettim (Dak.) Bell. ni ' Marriage a Partnership. Man and wife, says and old-fashioned writer, are partners In the business of life. It is his part to do tho providing; and hers to look after the use Of the prtf visions. He attends to fhe outdoor economy, she to tho interior, economy being taken in its root senso of sys tematic government "In true mar riage hes nor equal nor unequal;" yet there can bo nothing but tho farce of equality where the wifo must account to her husband for every farthing, and the husband, forgetful of tho consideration due the wife, allows her to be fretted and worried, worn to shreds, and sub ject to petty mortifications because, five days out of seven, she is the possessor of an empty purse. Entire openness and confidence as to tho resources of the firm, a definite and exact method of keeping household accounts, and a rec ognition of the fact that bricks can aot be made without straw, and that a cer tain approximatinflr annual mn ansa must bo proportioned to the poaifnea) the family occupies in tao oomnv -t wouiii so lar unue u faontca, if. T Star. Happiness 1 resaks from that true coateataeat wafeh I ladkates perfect health of body aad atiad. You aaar possess ft, if you will purify and mrlgorato your blood with Avert 8ana parffia. E. U. Howard. Newport. N. H.. wrltoi: I suffered for years with Scrof ulous manors. After using two bottles of Ayefs Sataaparflk, I Found great relief. It btf entirely testered aw to hash." JaBMlraaea,Atealaoa,Kaas.t writes: "To all persoas suferiaa; frost Liver Complaint, I would strongly reeom mead Avar's garaaparllla. IwasaaVeted with a disease of the aver for nearly two years, wata a friend-advised me to take this medicine. It gave prompt relief, aad has cured-BM." Un. H. M. Kidder, il D wight at, Boatoa.Sfata., writes: "For several years I have need Ayer'a Sarat parilla la siy family. I never feel safe, vea At Home without It As a ttrer meaViae aad geaeral puriaer ef the blood, it has ao qasl. Kra. A. B. AIIea,'WIaterD8ek, Vs., writes: "My yonagsst ebild, two years of age, was taken with Bowel Com plaint, which we couM aot cure. We tried many remedies, but he continued to grow worse, aad lasHy beesms so reduced la leek-that we could only move him upon a pillow. It was suggested by oae of the doctor tlurt-Sorofnla aught be the eases ef the trouble. WeproemredabotUeet AYER'S Sarsaparilla and eomawaced giving it to aba. Xttarely worked wonders, for, in a short tiaie, he waa completely cured.' Sold by all Druggbtt. Price $1; Six bottles, f5. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer A Co., Lowell, Haas., U. 8. A. Tin: OMAHA & CHICAGO OK TIIK Ciago, MHwaoKcB end SI. M Baili ay. THE BEST ROUTE FremO.nlll.4 TO THE EAST, Two Trains Daily Brtwecu Omnhu Chicago, asd- Milwaukee, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Cedar Rapids, Clinton, Dubuque, Davenport, Rock Island.Freeport, Rockford, Elgin, Madison, Janesville, Beloit, Winona, La Crosse. And all otbor Important Poiuta Eaat, Northeast and Southeast. For through tickets call on the Ticket Agent at Columbus, Nubra-ika. Pullman Slkkikus ana tho Kiskst PlNlNU Cakh in tiik Woklu are run on the main lines of the Chicane), nil waakee Ac Nf . Pital Myr and every attention is paid to passenger by cour teous employe or tlio Company. at. IMIIIer, A.. V. II. :arfeater, General Man gcr. Oen'l Pasi. Ag't. a. K. Xacker, CJeo. H. lleaaTard, As't Gea'l Man. Ass't Pa. Ag't. " J. X. Clark, (Jen'l Sup't. Feb. 17-1 LOUIS SCHKE1BER, Blaftsmitli and Wanon Maker. All kinds of Repairiig deie ei Skrt Notice. Biggies, Wag rag, etc., Bade to order, aad all work Gaar aiteed. Alio lell the world-famous Walter A. Wood Howtrs, Reapers, Combia- ed Haehinaf, Harvesters, aad Self.bindari the best atade. arBnop eppohlte tho TattoraIl,"on OUT Rt.. COLUM BUS. W-m Denver to Chicago, Denver to Kansas City, Denver to Omaha, Omaha to Chicago, Kansas City to Chicago, Omaha to St. Louis, BK8T LINK PROM WEST TO EAST! 6URK CONNECTIONS LOW RATES BAGGAGE CHICKED THROUGH. Through tickets over tho Burling ton Route aro for sale by tho Union Paolffcv Denver A Rio Grando and all other principal raljwaya, and Route." For further Information, apply to any agent, or to P. 8. IUSTIS,Oea1TTi'tAg't, OMAHA. NEB. A book of 100 page. The beat book tot aa advertiser to con sult, be be experi enced or otherwise. Iteontalna lists of aewsnaDors aad estimates of the cost of adver&slBg.xbe advertiserwho wants to spend one dollar. And in itthe ln tassatloaaeraciulrea, while fbrhlmwho will laves om hundred thousand dollars laad Trtisla a scheme to Indicated which wUl meet his every requtreaseat, or es mbsm tadosohgiidmiammtatmrrfMiattttee nmtmdtmee. 14 editions have been lamed. 8eat.Bost-pald.toaBT address fori cants. Writ t oao. BOWSLL CO, RtwIrAPKK ADVKBXUISU BtmKAU. t"" rLrrzz. . :- . aaaa.. - - iaaaaaaaai BVRf!Laaaaaal JNEWSPArtR leejq.;, aw iew- UNION PACIFIC LAND OFFICE, 8AHX.C. SMITH, Ag't. AKD B7I have a larnc number of improved Farms for alo cheap. Also uniinpruvotl farming and grazing larrts, fiom $1 to ?!." por acre. ISTSpecial attcntiou paid t Making final proof on Homestead and Timber Claims. Ea""All having lands to cll will lind it to their advantage to l.avr thi-m in mv kaads for Bale. Money to loan on farms. K. JI. Marty, Clork, prak Herman. Vtf Columbus, Nebr.iHk.t. FREE LAND! FOR FARMERS & STOCKMEN Just beyond tho N-lira.ki lino mi tlio Haltc Rivi-r. The Country is Wonderfully Productive. Cheap Land, fur sale in the vicinity ef the lively town of Sterling. Grand Opening for all kind of Basi uiets. Present population of Town 500. t3TSeinl for "ir.-iflr.i l PACKARD & KINO, :iK-y . Str.l!i:if,.Vld o., t.'olur.ido. ESTABLISHED IN I860. tiii:- ffiH AVASHISUTOX. 1. V. Ijly, uYri'pt Smidiyi. 1'rbv. fli.iM per y-ar in atlvaiu'c, poatni free. -TIIK- 7Eeily mmi REpnencAs. Devoted to jiener.d news and original matter obtained (ro:u tin: Dcp.trtmetit of Agriculture and other Departments o( ihetiovernnient, relating to the farming and planting inte rests. An Advocate of Republican principle, reviewing feurlesIyt and fairly the acts of Congress and the National Adinini-i-Iratlnu. Trice, $1.00 per year in advance, postage Irec. E. W. FOX, President and Manager. The National Rkpuhmcan aud the Columbus Journal, 1 year, $2.50. 32-x Cores Guaranteed! DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 1. A Certain Cure for Nervous Debility, Seminal Weakness, Involuntary Emia ion, Spermatorrhea, and all diseases of the genito-urlnary organs caused by self, abuse or over indulgence. Trice, $1 00 per box, six boxes $5.00. DR. 'WARNS SPECIFIC No. 2. For Epileptic Fits, Mental Anxiety, Loss of Memory, Softening of the Brain, and all those diseases of the brain. I'rine $1.00 per box, six boxes $5.00. DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 3. For Impotence, Sterility in cither sex, Los of Tower, premature old age, and all those diseases requiring a thorough in vigorating of the sexual organs. Trice $3.00 per box, six boxoa $10.00. DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 4. For Headache, Nervous Neuralgia, aud all acute diseases of tho nervous system. Price 60c per box, six boxea $2.50. DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 5. For all diseases caused by the ovor-une of tobacco or liquor. This remedy is par ticularly efficacious in averting palsy and delirium tremens. Trice $1.00 per box, six boxes $5.00. Vf Guarantee a Cure, or agree to re fund double the money paid. Certificate in each box. This guarantee applies to each of our live Specifics. Sent by mail to any address, secure from observation, on receipt of price. Be careful to mention the number of Specific wanted. Our Specific are only recommended for spe cific diseases. Beware of remedies war ranted to cure all theso diseases with one medicine. To avoid counterfeits and al ways secure tac genuino, order only from DOWT1 CHI, DRUGGISTS, Columbus, Neb. 19-1 Health is Wealth! Da K. CWafa Naava ajto Baiiii Tjizat ncrr, a guaranteed apeciOo for Hysteria. Vixa aesa, Convokiona, Rta. Nerroua. Neuralgia. Headache. Nsrrooa Prostration canaed by tbp m of alcohol or tobacco. Wakefulness. Mental Do prsation. Softening of the Umln resulting ja m aaity and leading to misery, decay and death. Premature Old Age, Barrcnnoaa. Loss of power tax either eez. Involuntary Losses andBnermat. ocibcaa raw! by oTer-exortion of tho brain, aeuT abosaor over-indnlgenco. Each box contains oae month's treatment. $liXJabox,oreixboxM for$3.0Q.Bcnt by mail prepatdon roceiptofpnc. 1R CJrAKAXTEE SIX SOXES To earn any case. With each order received bysa for six boxes, accompanied with $SJA wo will seed the parcbaser oar written guarantee to re rand tae money if the trcatmentdoeauotauect acure. Gnarantwa leaned only by JOHN O. "WEST St CO, M2 W. MADISON ST., CHICAGO, ILLS., Solo Prop's West's liver FQIa, in presents given axcay. Send us 5 cents postage, tvsuvr anu ny man you wan get free a package of goods of largo value, that win start you in woric mat win at once bring youin money faster than any thine else in America. All about the $200,000 in presents with each box. Agents wanted everywhere, of either sex, of ail ages, for all the time, or sparo timo only, to work for us at their own homes. Fortunes for all workers ab solutely assured. Don't delay. II. IIal urrr & Co., Portland, Maine. S80O REWARDI PjHi.iliMMliii.liSiiSli,CiiiSillniwCniSinM nwakwVjimi. uwraii. ww u n aMamttrtolreoartMvfth. Tbty i ptl TteM. wm wfcMHtl HliihiMw. amrCwtaA. iMf bozM.C3c -WakC Or. rwtotyajiughli. Btwif ol ESS- .col. at a ms w. av. cue. TTTT more mosey than at anything WW I ! c,9e J taking an agency for " J-Xl the best selling book-out. Be- ginaers succeed grandly. None fell. Terns free. HaUJrrr Book Co., Pert. land, Malaa. 4-33-7 General Estate mm NATIONAL BEPBBLICAN lMtJ aaaiM I taaaamwgrS5awig.aTiiEifT won nun t 'trA i I. too." I anwwared; am i - l. cm AAsammmas - ,fjBava - . - i or aaofckw. Jf. J. IknUk. &' Y? . j-i m- .'jj1 m'- M-acgi sarrgy T' r ' -3n