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SEPT. 2, 1885.
Satsrtd it tfct PeiteSes, Collates. Kit.. si tienl
A SUMMER SONG.
O, lovely sunbeams, through the meadow
On golden pinions, alt the livelong day,
Kissing young leaves, on crystal streamlets
Changing to living gold their silver spray.
Wee amorous elves, coquetting with the
Wooing the daisy in her grassy bed.
JB1 the shy ilowcr unconsciously uncloses
Her dew-gemmod leaves, and blushes rosy
Gliding gray rocks, on rugged mountain
streaming, . .
Bidding the flower ia sheltered nook
awake, . . .
Calling young song bird from their happy
dreaming, , . . .
Waking thelaughter of the dimpling lake!
Playing -Bo-peep" amid the white bud
In pearly clusters on the hawthorn tree;
T the round eyes of wondering childhood
showing , ,
The rapid Journeying of the wandering
Shedding a halo bright on youthful tresse.
Bidding young heart for very rapture sing.
Touching the brow or care with kind caresses,
Or glinting lightly on the skylark's wing!
Ab. merry sunbeams, like sly cupids straying
In the glad footsteps of the rustic luss.
On sun-tanned cheeks and snow white ker
Twinkling like nrellles In the emerald grass.
O, lovely sunbeams, like blest angel gliding
Through courts of squalor, sickness, want
Telling of clouds like golden chariots riding
Proudly majestic o'er a world of bloom;
Of winding lanes, and milk-white homesteads
Like modest virgins from secluded bowers:
Of shallow pools, und baby streamlets leaping
In giddy gladness 'noath down-drooping
Dance, lovely sunbeams, through fair coun
Bathe hill and cottage In your holy light.
From city slum go chase the mournful
That All poor homesteads with eternal
To those who pine In ignorance and sorrow
' May all your tendercst, holiest gifts be
That sorrowing hearts one ray of hope may
In the sweet knowledge that ye come from
Funny Forester, in Argosy.
"A TRUE HERO."
The Traffic Story of Two 111
Ho was only a poor artist; sho was an
opera singer, playing a long engage
ment in one of the popular theaters of
a great city. She was admired, petted
and spoiled was the recipient of fine
presents and had only to smile to
bring the wealthiest to her feet. He
lodged and toiled in the garret of a
miserable tenement in a- crowded por
tiop. of the metropolis. He ate which
be did only about six times during a
week at a cheap restaurant.
He' had ncUriends. but ho had a pure
oul and a noble heart. He had genius,
too, but people were slow to recognize
it, and so he had to starve and freeze
and go without decent clothes in conse
quence. He was a remarkably hand
some man, and to those he liked or- '!
be very charming. He was engage.? j:i
a picture that, when finished, would
bring him botii fame and fortune. A
certain art iiriu, very popular with the
fashionable world, had seen some of
this artist's work and were quick to
recognize the merit In it, and had en
gaged him to paint a picture for them,
for which they had contracted to pay a
fabulous price and tiio picturo was
nearly complete. Poor as he was, he
always managed to attend the opera
especially since Celestine Dordclon had
This Celestino Bordcloa was an un
commonly pretty woman small, but
graceful as a swan, and the glorious
golden hair that fell down and around
tier in shining, clustering curls, had
stirred many a masculine" heart with the
tire of love." Her eyes were the most
beautiful ever set in" a woman's head
so large and tender and brown; so
changeful iu expression; so bewitching
always. As we have said, her admirers
were legion all kinds, conditions and
classes bowed in willing homage at her
feet. Lovers, too. she had rich, aris
tocratic and proud. A thorough star in
the theatrical firmament she was born
for that and that alone.
Nightly she held her vast audiences
spell-bound. With a voice like an an
gel, she would draw tears from the most
stony-hearted. Her rcigu was imperial.
The country, far and near, resounded
with her name. Presents, smiles aye,
and hearts were showered upon her.
But, with all her marvelous success, her
heart remained pure and her soul un
sullied. The poor artist loved her when she
first appeared before him in the glare of
the foot-lights, with a love he had never
experienced before. A month had gone
by and she was still playing, and his
love all the time grew stronger. He al
ways occupied the same remote seat in
the crowded theater, and he failed nev
er to send the beautiful actress a bunch
of blue-eyed pansies. Inspired with her
beauty-and his lore, he was painting the
picture that was t5 bring him a fortune.
Celestine. touched by the unassuming
flowers so ditl'erent from the other
gifts that were showered upon her had
fathomed out the donor, and as she ob
served him nightly in his lonely seat her
heart went out to him something like
pity; but one night as she watched him,
with his face all aglow with love and
enthusiasm far handsomer than any
human being she had ever seen the
feeling of pit' was changed to love
they are so near akin. This was the
beginning. It was not hard to effect
that which two loving hearts so much
desired, and the brilliant and popular
actress and the almost unknown and
humble artist met and exchanged vows
of eternal love.
Nightly would he escort her to her
sumptuous lodgings in the most brilliant
portion of the great, gay City. One by
one the wealthy suitors were rejected
and their costly offerings of love re
turned. All the city 'wondered and
many tongues were set a-wagging. Lit
tle Lucien and Calestine cared for the
fossips and scandal-mongers. They
new that they loved each other, and
that the lore was pure. The poor artist,
raised to the seventh heaven of bliss,
worked with an inspired brush, and dav
by day the wonderful picture that was
to bring him wealth, fame, his Celestine
and happiness grew. Only one more
week of labor lay between him and all
this. His Celestine, with love-impassioned
eyes, gave him sweet encourage
ment The minutes lengthened into hours,
the hours into days and the days into a
week, and at last the painter pronounced
Ilia Tarirlr vintulotn Witfi cicrli rkf in
finite satisfaction and relief he laid his
brushes and palette aside. Now was his
struggle with grinding .poverty at an
end. The happiness that he bad so
long coveted, but never hoped to gain,
was almost within his grasp. How
cheerful the world looked; how brightly
the sun shone, and how deliriously
sweet the birds sanj all around. As he
gazed in rapture on nis beautiful picture
tears of joy coursed dnwn'his cheeks;
his heart swelled with pride, and a
Srayer of thankfulness ascended to
eaven from his moving lips.
When night at last infolded theworld
.within her sable arms, and the lighted
lamps of the city gleamed like so many
stars, the artist sallied forth to the
theater, and took his .accustomed seat
Never was such a-crowd packed within
the spacious hall before. Celestine
Bordelon closed her engagement on this.
ft, aad her friends, of all classes,
cnestra sounded, the curtain was raised;
and Celestine, in all her dazzling, glit
tering beauty, stepped upon the stage.
As she gazed on the many upturned
faces her heart thrilled with a happiness
sho had never felt before. The happy
face of her lover, turned upon her from
his distant seat filled her with a new
enthusiasm, and she sang as she had
never sang before.
Hark! What sound is that that inter
rupts the song upon the singer's lips,
and causes every face to blanch and
every heart to stand still with sudden
terror? It is a voice telling in alarmed
tones that the theater is on fire. The
voice ceases, and then the panic breaks
forth. Every avenue of escape is
assailed. Great strong men, in their
agony of fear, dash weak women and
children to the ground and trample
upon them. Wives, relatives and
friends are nothing now every life is
battling for itself.
The red glare of the flames; the great
volumes of smothering smoke; the shrill
screams of the women and children;
the hoarse curses of the men; the groans
of the injured; the cries of those en
deavoring to command and rescue
altogether make a terrible and heart
In all this confusion and distress
where is Luciene Le Fevre, the artist?
There he is, with smoke-grimed face
and tattered clothing, assisting" that
old terror-stricken man to escape the
burning building. One of the first to
escape the ilames himself, he has re
turned again and again to aid those
who could not aid themselves. At last
all arc saved, and he turns to see if his
Celestine is among tiie number. No,
she is not there, and no one in . the
mighty crowd can tell him aught of
A sudden chill envelopes his heart a
terrible thought takes possession of his
brain. Surely she can not but, listen!
Hear that terrible scream a woman's
scream of mortal agony -borne shrill
and piercing to the artist's ear. and
causing the blood to turn like ice in his
swollen veins. Looking upward in the
direction of the erics, at a window of
the burning building, surrounded by
crackling tlames. he sees (..destine IJor
delon, waving her hands and calling
for help. The sash of the window is
down, and the poor girl in her terror
has not the strength to raise it Even
had she, it would benefit her none. As
leave die in the flames as to be dashed
to death on the stony pavement
For an instant the multitude, looking
on from below, is silent and then a
mighty shout arises. Something must
be doue to save the perishing woman,
and that quickly. It is a dangerous
undertaking. Already the walls of the
building are shaking, and the tlames
grow fiercer and fiercer.
"Who will risk his life to save yon
der woman?" some one shouts; but
there is no time given for answer, for
Luciene Le Fevre steps forth from the
crowd, with compressed lips and de
termined face, and taking a ladder that
is lying near, he plants it firmly against
the trembling wall. Calestine sees him,
and her heart grows stronger; but
when she hears the well-known voice
shout up to her: "Have courage, dar
ling. I will save you." her nerves grow
strong as steel.
Slowly, step by step, does the heroic
artist toil upward. Everything depends
upon the utmost care. Again the crowd
is silent Every lip is moving in prayer
for the success of the artist. Higher
and higher he goes! Angrier and
angrier grows the fire. The great
building is now one vast sheet of name,
which roars like ten thousand demons
turned loose 'from the infernal regions.
Now! Luciene has reached Celestine.
It is but the work of a moment for him
to tear the sash of glass away and
stretch out his arms and take the trem
bling girl. Whispering a few words of
encouragement in her ear, he clasps her
firmly and begins his tortuous, peril
ous descent The walls tremble and
shake; huge pieces of burning timber
fall about him; volumes of smoke surge
around him, almost blinding and smoth
ering him. Silently he prays to the
God he has always trusted in, to lead
him. with his precious burden, safely to
the ground. Life has just become of
value to him; the future looks so redo
lent with hope and happiness. Hard,
indeed, it would be to die now.
Slowly, oh, so slowly, he toils down
ward with his lovely "burden. To the
anxious crowd below every second
seems an age. O, he will soon reach
the ground. Only a little space lies be
tween him and safety. No sound is
heard save the roaring of the flames and
the hacking of the axes of the firemen
on the adjoining houses.
Merciful heaven! The wall against
which the ladder is resting shakes more
and more, and is bending outward. The
hushed, expectant multitude now real
ize that the descending couple are
doomed to death. A smothered cry
breaks the stillness, followed by a tre
mendous crash and the quaking walls
part and fall forward; a cloud of dust
and dense black smoke fly upward, and
Luciene Le Fevre and Celestine Borde
lon disappear forever from life.
Next morning two charred and black
ened forms were taken from the ruins
of the theater building, and gently borne
by tender hands to the city's lovely
church-yard, and laid to rest in one com
mon grave. The artist's famous picture
was sold, aud the proceeds used to pur
chase a monument, which rises white
and grand at the head of the last resting-place
of the ill-starred pair, and
tells the tragic story of Celestine Bor
delon, the famous opera-singer, and Lu
ciene Lo Fevre, the "True Hero." J.
S. Wilson.in Louisville Courier-Journal.
Bow m Stranger ia u, California Town BaF
fled Impertinent Inquiries.
The other day a mysterious-looking
stranger appeared in Petaluma and re
mained live whole days without the in
habitants finding out his name, where
he came from, or his business. Even
the bar-room loafers were baffled in
their attempt to extract some definite
information, and the entire town lay
awake o' nights worrying over the mat
ter. At last the general agitation grew
to such a pitch that the Sheriff volun
teered to interview the stranger in be
half of the public waal. Approaching
the taciturn visitor, as he sat in the
office of the hotel, tho functionary re
marked: "Fine day, sir."
"Is, eh?' said the stranger, dubi
ously. "Going to stay long in these parts?"
"Just four days, two hours, and
thirty-one minutes longer," replied the
other, consulting his watch and a time
table. "Then! may I-er aTiem! may I ask
what your business is?" persisted the
Sheriff, as the crowd gathered up closer.
"Well. I don't wish it generally
known," replied the stranger, confident
ially; -"but I'm a Russian Nihilist"
"You don't mean it?" gasped the
"Fact" replied the man, mournfully.
"But-er-what brings youhere?"asked
the inquisitive Sheriff.
"Well, you see, I was captured in St
Petersburg last month, and you know
how severe that- Goverment is on Nihil
ists, don't yon?"
"O! yes of course; go on!"
"Well, they sentenced me to twenty
years in Siberia, or a week in Petalumv
and I was fool enough to choose Petav
And with a'heavy sigh the condemned
man drifted in to dinner. 'Fetmlumm
Dyspepsia-is said to be unknown ia
Japan. So are boardiBg h6om.Ckb
Boat of the' Quer Karnes That Are
red Through the Ceuatxy.
The appointment of large numbers
of Postmasters in all parts of the coun
try at this time brings to the surface
some of the very many queer names
that are scattered through the long
list of post-offices through the country.
There are a good maBy.of them too.
There are over fifty thousand post
offices in the country, and a good many
of them with very queer names. There
are as a rule twenty or thirty named
after each Postmaster General. It has
been a custom in the Department to
name a post-office in nearly every State
and Territory after each newly-appointed
Postmaster General. There
was, as it will be remembered, a great
"run" on the name of Hatton. So
there was in the cases of the other
heads of the Department though it is
asserted that the present Postmaster
General will not be in favor of this sort
of foolishness with regard to his own
There are, however, a very large
number of queer names turning up
constantly in the very large number of
changes being constantly made. Many
of them, too, have a very interesting
and curious history. It is odd, for in
stance, to know that the post-office
"HattolF' was named for Postmaster
General Hatton. The people applied
to had their office named Hatton, but
being told that there was already one
office of that name in the State they
wrote back saying. "Well, call it Hat
ton", then." and it was so called. It
very often happens tiiat the name comes
back quite different from that which
they asked. The citizens of Stone
County, Missouri, petitioned for an
office to be called "Flatwood," but it
came back "Blue Eye," Another in
Louisiana called for the name of
"Lima," but the Department returned
the word "Halloo," and so it remains.
Another community in Georgia after
proposing several names, all of which
were rejected, was christened
"Enigma. The minds of men run in
different grooves, for one man, con
sulted for a like purpose, replied, "Call
it Corn Cob or Pig Tail," and "Corn
Cob" it became. Georgia has an office
named "Talking Rock." Some one
discovered in the vicinity a large stone
upon which had been painted the
words. "Turn me over." It required
considerable strength to accomplish
this, and when it was done the com
mand, "Now turn me back and let me
fool some one else," painted on the
underside of the stone met the eye.
Dry bone or zinc ore, found in Wiscon
sin, furnished the name for "Dry Bone"
office, and "Fossilville" comes from
the fossil from ore mined in Pennsyl
vania. The family of Jolly makes a
"Jolly town," and that of Fee a "Feli
City," and Grubb the name of ."Grubb
town." "Sis." in Pennsylvania, is in
debted for its name to a young lady
thus familiarly known, who unexpect
edly called where several men were
struggling to solve the difficult prob
lem of naming the new office, aud
whose appearance was the suggestion
that settled the matter. A common
place name, if founded on some strik
ing incident, will continue against mere
A dog found hanging to a tree by a
grapevine in one of the Southern States
gave name to a stream of water which
finds a national as well as a local recog
nition in the office of "Hanging Dog. '
-Fish Hook" aud "Shoe Hill" gain
their names by the winding of the
water-courses, and "Spearfish" from
the sport of spearing fish. "Tur
Heel," in North Carolina, was
adopted at the suggestion of a popular
young Confederate soldier. It was
used by the Union soldiers to designate
Urn Confederates, and accepted by the
latter as complimentary. A man's
skull lying under a small bluff in Ten
nessee gave name to the -office of
"Skull Bone." Kentucky has an office
named "Pig." "Blowing Rock," in
North Carolina, came from an emi
nence at the top of which the wind
blows with great force. "Shanghai,"
in Indiana, was named for the taller of
the two brothers who settled there about
the time Shaughai or Bramah chickens
were first introduced into this country.
West "Virginia has a "Shanghai" also,
named at about the same time.
"Broken Arrow," in Alabama, comes
from au Indian legend that a brave
once shot a deer on the banks of a
beautiful stream near by, which empties
into the Coosa River. The deer, in its
death struggles, broke the arrow with
which it was pierced, and from this in
cident tradition says that portion of
the country was named Theitka, which
in English signifies broken arrow.
There are two "Tip-Top" offices. One
comes from its topographical position
as the highest point on a railway .sur
vey in Kentucky, and is, in fact, the
highest point between Louisville and
New Orleans. Two prospectors in
Arizona discovered a mine and took
.specimens to test in the lire. The speci
mens came out covered with blisters of
silver, and one of the men remarked
that it was tip-top ore, to which the
other remarked that it was a tip-top
mine, and that they had better give it
that name, which they did. ll'asting
ton Cor. Cincinnati Times-Star.
The InitrumcnU of Torture Used In ex
tracting Teeth by the First Practition
ers. "At the date of my earliest recollec
tion dentistry as now practiced was un
known. Teeth were extracted by regu
lar practicing physicians geuerally, and
their only outfit was au instrument
known as the turnkey' or 'hawk's
bill.' It was constructed like a com
mon nail gimlet with a moveable hook
at the end, which could be turned so as
so seize upon any tooth, whatever its
position; then by a twisting motion the
offending molar was rolled out In
country places where physicians were
sparsely located, men in various occu
pations '-would keep a 'turnkey' and
perform the service. In one instance I
knew of a lady who acquired the repu
tation of an expert at the business and
had quite an extensive practice. The
first artificial tooth which I ever saw
was inserted by an itinerant dentist. It
was secured upon a metal pivot or
dowell, and the pivot was forced into
the slump of a decayed tooth. They
were made from ivory or cattle's teeth
and sometimes secured .on wood in
stead of metal pivots. In 1836 there
were in this city but three professional
dentists. Not far from that time some
one had secured two or more teeth to
a metallic spring which clasped the ad
joining teeth in such a manner as to
hold them in position. That was
thought to be a wonderful achievement
and was proclaimed to the world. In
that year there were slaughtered at one
place near this city several hundred
head of cattle for barreling, and cart
loads of heads were piled near the
slaughter house. I saw one of those
dentists approach them with a saw and
sack and select such specimens as
suited him. He then sawed off the
under jaws containing the teeth, which
he desired, and after filling his sack be
put them into his buggy and departed.
Somebody's mouth was'doubtless orna
mented with those teeth, and they took
satisfaction in showing their 'ivory.'
Since that period I shall not attempt to
describe the inventions, progress and
improvement in the science, for I am
utterly incapable, instead of three, we
now have twenty-three of the profes
sion ia this city." Hartford ( Cottu.)
A Total or Thirty Hsdks and Five of
I Ala up tor Repairs.
The United States Naval Register for
1885, which has just been issued is an
interesting and instructive work. It is
a volume of 211 pages. Of these, 210
contain lists of the officers of the navy,
with their residences, stations and
records of service, and one page con
tains a list of thirty-five ships, upon
which they are supposed to serve. Ac
cording to the register there are borne
on the' active roster of the service 1
admiral, 1 vice admiral, 7 rear ad
mirals. 16 commodores, 45 captains,
85 commanders, 74 l:entenant com
manders, 257 lieutenants, 82 lieuten
ants (junior grade). 183 eus'gns, 82
nava. cadets, 158 medical officers, 119,
pay officers, 235 engineer officers, 37
professors and chaplans, 31 naval con
structors and 200 warrant officers a
total of 1.613. In addition to these,
then: are 94 officers of marines. On
the retired lfst of the navy there are
337 officers of all grades, most of them
of superior rank and consequently in
the enjoyment of superior pay. This
lit alone comprises forty-eight admi
rals, drawing $4,500 a year eaeh, and
thirty-nine commodores or officers of
equal rank who receive each $3,750
pur annum. The total number of offi
cers on the navy pay rolls, exclusive of
fladets at the Naval Academv, is 2,144.
Turning to page 191 of the register
(they are all contained on one page)
it is' found that the number of service
able ships is thirty-five, to-wit: One
first rate, eleven second rates, nineteen
third rates, and four fourth rates. The
one first rate ship is the Tennessee, and
two of the fourth rates are the famous
Tallapoosa and the little old Michigan
on the lakes. Actually there are out
thirty-three ships of any character as
war vessels. To man these there are
1,613 officers and 94 marines. But not
all of these ships are in commission.
Five of them at least are laid up, and
two or three are undergoing repairs.
This makes a pretty top-heavy navy.
Two thousand officers, and but twenty
five or thirty old wooden ships suggest a
preponderance of gold lace, fat salaries
and idleness, not pleasant for the work
ing American public to contemplate.
A further glance at the register shows
that the Admiral lives in Washington
and has nothing to do but attend to
his magazine literature. His salary is
$13,000 a year. The Vice-Admiraf is
Chairman of the Lighthouse Board, an
organization which is in session about
one hour a month. Of the seven Rear
Admirals, but two command squad
rons. The others have some nominal
duty ou shore, to which they are as
signed to enable them to draw duty
pay. Not one of the sixteen Commo
dores is at sea. Nine of them com
mand uavy yards, but the assignments
of the other seven are as merely nomi
nal as those of the Rear Admiral's and
for the same purpose. For instance.
Commodore Luce is Superintendent of
the "Naval War College,'" whatever
that is. When a commodore is "wait
ing orders" he receives but $3,000
salary. When he is "on duty," how
ever slight, he is paid $4,000, hence
'the scramble for nominal assign
ments. Of the forty-livo captaiu. six
command ships, twenty-eight have
nominal shore duty anil eleven live
quietly at their homes, the department
being unable to find even nominal
work for thriu. Of the eighty-five
commanders, but nineteen are at sea.
Twenty-one are idle and the re
mainder have nominal "duty" on
shore. Of the whole staff corps num
bering five hundred and eighty officers,
bnt seventy-nine are at sea. And so,
page by page, one might analyze the
navy register and prove that the Gov
ernment is supporting needlessly and
in idleness three-fifths of the seven
teen hundred officers on the active list
of the navy.
While Secretary Whitney is investi
gating the evils that exist in his depart
ment and projecting measures of re
form, he should spare no effort to de
vise a plan by which he can relieve the
naval service of its top-heavy load.
Secretary Chandler made some little
headway. He got Congress to pass
the act of 1882. "which stopped promo
tions Until certain grades had been re
duced 'to a less number, but that pro
cess of weeding out U verj slow. What
is needed is a thorough overhauling of
all officers of the navy under forty
years of age, with a view to keeping in
the service only those who are abso
lutely worthy and competent. The
others should lie wholly retired, with a
year's pay as an aid to start them
anew in life. Washington Cor. Phila
A FEMALE SPOOPENDYKE.
The Caricature Met With la a Female oa
tin Arkansas Train.
I was reading the other day about
old Spoopendyke how- the old sinner
lorded it over his meek and submissive
wife about the garden business, and
when she suggested the planting some
flower seed for ornaments he said:
"What kind of flowers artificial
flowers I reckon maybe you want to
plant sotue old bonnet wires and a few
rags aud raise you a spring bonnet"
And when she ventured to mention that
a fountain would be pretty, he said:
"Fountain! how are you going to raise
a fountain where are your seed do
you expect to plant a bucket of water
and have it come up a fountain?"
Well. I just want to get hold of him
and help his wife civilize him for about
fifteen minutes. I know some wives
who wouldn't need any help. The old
brute. When a woman does her best
to please her husband he ought to ap
pear pleased whether he ia or not I
know some Spoopendykes and I have
no respect for them. But there are
some female Spoopendykes, too, scat
tered around. I saw one in the cars
the other day over in Arkansas; she
and her old man got aboanl at. a
wav station and toic a seat just be
hind me in the smoking car. They
were right common people that is. he
wa. She had a snuff stick in her
mouth, and when he motioned her to
go in the seat first she shook her head
and motioned him to go in. After
awhile the newsboy came along with
cigars and he took one and looked at
both ends and all around, aud asked
the price. The boy said ten cents. He
smelt of the c:gar'and then felt for a
dime. The old woman watched him
silently until then, but she couldn't
jtand It any longer
Ymi ain't a gwine to give ten cents
for that seegyar. are you?" "Believe
I will. Sally.'' he said. "Jest to burn
said she. "That's what hits made
for. Sally." said he. "Well. I do
Know." said she, I'd look at a dime a
long time before I'd give it for that
thing aud then burn it right straight
up. If I wa gwine to be a fool I'd be
a fool some other way." By this time
he had borrowed tire from me and got
the thing to burning, and as he puffed'
the smoke upward he said: "Sally, I
hain't smoked a seegyar in three
months, and we are on a sort of a frolic
now, you know. You bought a dime's
worth of snuff yesterday morning, and
if you hain't burnt it up you've mighty
nigh snuffed it up so what's the dif
ference, Sally?" "Well, it was my
money," said she. "My snuff never
cost you nothin' nary cent" "Aud
my seegyar never cost you nothin,"
said he, and he elevated his chin and
screwed up his iuouth, and blowed the
smoke away up vender. Atlanta Cem-ttitiUiOH.
The whole number of visitors to the
New Orleans Exposition was 1.158,840.
The Centennial Exposition at Philadel
phia was attended by 7,910,966 people.
N. O. Picayune.
At tho annual sheep-shearing in
Vermont the. heaviest ram's fleece
weighed twenty-eight pounds thirteen
ounces, and the heaviest ewe's fleece
twenty-one pounds nine ounces. This,
it is claimed, exceeds the record at any
public shearing. Boston Journal.
A woe-begone looking specimen of
humanity, telling wonderful stories
about being captured in the mountains
of Syria 2o0 years ago. shedding six
sets of teeth, etc.. and claiming to b
the veritable Wandering- Jew. has been
doing up Winston. N. C. Charleston
(S. C.J Aews.
A man named Selig Voitcjtmnotev
xky applied to a New York court the
other day for the privilege of dropping
the last twelve letters out of his name.
He based his plea upon sanitanrAtnd
economical reasons, and the court
S anted his prayer. His
r. Selig Voit," and he
name is now
has our con
gratulations. -V. Y. Sun.
A Georgian lost a society badge
some twenty years ago and the other
day saw it upon the straw bonnet of a
negro woman who was passing along
the street The woman said she had
been given it some months before by
another negro woman, and that it had
been worn as a highly prized boanet
ornament A I tnta Constitution.
Among tl. ''e" i ins. the first time
a man is can. r - i .. ug iie is bastina
doed and ma t i ;u a paper to the
effect that rob -ry has no more attrac
tion for him. Willi the soles of his feet
smarting from the bastinado he is
usually willing to do this. At the
moment the. statement is often true. If
he be caught a second time his hands
are cut off, and if a third time he is de
capitated. Toward the close of the reign of
Queen Elizabeth, a blacksmith manu
factured a padlock of iron, steel and
brass, of eleven pieces and a pipe key,
all of which only weighed one grain.
He also made a chain of gold of forty
five links which he fastenod to the lock
and key- and put around the neck of a
flea, which drew the whole with perfect
ease. Tho chain, key, -lock and flea
altogether weighed one grain and a
A Providence Journal, correspond
ent recalls that Nathaniel Hawthorne
once attended a Bowdoin alumni ban
quet at which he was expected to speak.
The presiding officer at the proper t'me
arose and introduced him with some
highly laudatory remarks, and then,
turning around, found Hawthorne's
chair vacant. That shy genius had
slipped out of the room unobserved and
was not seen again that evening.
The myth that a large sum of
money iiad been offero I by the En
glish Government for 1.1VM.O0O postage
stamps is said to have aris u iu the fol
lowing way: An advert sament ap
peared in London. England, asking
I charitable people to send their stamps
to a poor boy in Ur.ghton. who wished
to cover his walls with the portraits of
her Majesty. Wh n they should be cov
ered the lad's education was to be paid
for by a wealthy Iu at'e. TiMUsands of
stamps were sent, and then cleaned and
sold. The police broke it up. iV. Y.
B. F. Eastman writes to the Port
land (Me.) Advertiser that, on the 9lh
of June, 1816, as he romembers, the
ground froze in the region of Portland
to the depth of two inches, and summer
birds died with the cold. There were
frosts in every month of the year except
August and not one bushel of corn ri-
Eened. People with money went on
orseback to Hallo well to buy the Vir
E'nia (or horsetooth) corn at two dol
rs a bushel. People without money
went hungry all the next winter.
Pope Leo spends an hour or so
every afternoon, says the Independence
Be'ge, of Brussels," in preparing the
material for a monumental history of
the papacy. He has had a study fitted
up adjoining the Vatican library for
convenience of access to the archives
for the papal prison is vast and dis
tances are great The gigantic task
will, of course, not be finished in the
lifetime of Pope Leo; but even a mere
fragment of it would be of the utmosl
value to the student of modern history,
since it must in the main be based upon
A congress of philologists will as
semble in Vienna to persuado the worid
to adopt a universal language. The
scheme is by no means novel. In the
thirteenth century a Toulousian monk
named Roger worked very hard to con
vince his cotemporaries that it would be
to the advantage of humanity if a
tongue of his own invention was gener
ally spoken. But his mongrel jargon
was more wordy than French and near
ly twice as diffuse as Greek, and. al
though the apostle of reform wrote sev
eral books in the new language, there is
no record that anyone save himself ever
knew exactly- what they treated of.
"I remember." said a Detroit boy
to bis Sunday-school teacher, "you told
me always to stop and count fifty when
angry, and I've done it" "Yes? Well.
I'm glad to hear it It cooled your an
ger, didn't it?" "You see, a boy came
into our alley and made faces at me and
dared me to i&ht I was goingfor him.
He was bigger n me, and I'd have got
pulverized. I remembered what you
said and began to count" "And you
amncngnsr "no, ma am. Just as
I got to forty-two my big brother came
muug, uuu mo way u ncitea mac do
woula have made your mouth water.
was going to count fifty and then run
Detroit Free Press.
A New aad Convenient Coastractloat of
the Immediate Transportation Act.
A recent circular issued by the Secre
tary of the Tre&sury appears to have
put a new construction upon the Imme
diate Transportation act of 1880 relative
to the baggage of passengers arriving
in this country from foreign ports.
Heretofore passengers have been sub
jected to the delay and annoyance of
having their baggage examined at New
York, whereas, by this fiuding of the.
Secretary of the Treasury, this baggage
is shipped through in bond direct to
forty-four cities named in the act as
inland ports of entry, which includes
Chicago, Cincinnati. Cleveland, Detroit
Kansas City, Denver, San Francisco,
and others. A bond of $1,000,000, is
required, however, by the Goverment
from the express companies, and the
American Express Company is the only
one which has as yet given it Tourists
and others who may come from Europa
to the United States will thoroughly ap
preciate this new order of things, as it
will be the means of saving much time
and vexation heretofore occasioned by
the delay of baggage at the New York
b'arge office. Of course the baggage,
when shipped through to the interier
port of entry, is examined at the latter
place, for the Goverment rules as to this
are very rigid in order that nothing du
tiable shall escape. Should it be the
desire of a passenger to have his bag
gage shipped to an interior point which
t$ not a port of entry he can have it
directed to the port nearest his desti
nation, and after examination by the
proper officers it will be forwarded by
the American Express Company. Ia
case a passenger repldes too far from a
port where the bpBdiBg privilege ap
plies, the company's LTMMir .
usual examination New York, wiB sat)
that it is shipped tkroujk tojfs Jfjtj
ttoa w food otto.--(Map2mmk
PITH AND POINT.
The bee can draw twenty t.mes its
own ve:ght So cm the porous plas
ter. Wiio : a mau's miad recovers from
a stat of coiifiHioti. ho .?o.u't neces
sarily d.e. but h ends h s daze. 7Vum
It :s sa dthat the Prince of Wales
never carr es a purse. Our re-emblance
to L.s roval highness has often been re
marked S: Paul Herald.
-A woman pointed an old pistol at
a tramp aud blazed awav until she shot
A calf worth -:"5-". The tramp is t ckled
to think she didn't a'.ui at the calf.
. Two Trov men have invented a
mach.ne that w.ll make 1.500.000
matches an hour. The th'ng should be
in great demand at th.' fashionable
water.ng-places this summer. It is
just what mother and marriageable
daughters have been looking for. Troy
"My son." said a fond father to
his l.ttle son whom h bad been pun
ishing, by the use of a rod. for the
first time'; "my son 1 hope th s has
tausrht you a" good lesson " "Yes,
pa," the little fellow soobingly replied,
"it's taught me that it's better to give
than to receive." Life.
Facetious Party (the local law ver
who l.kes to have a joke w th his
client) "I say, Pat. suppose the Devil
were suddenly to appear now, which
of us would lie take first, d'yo think?"
Pat "Me. of course: for sure lie knows
he can have our honor at any time,
bad luck to him." Boston Post.
Her Jiead was pillowed on h's
breast and looking up in a shy way
she sa;d: "Do you know, dear George,
that " "You mean dear James. I
think." he interrupted, smiling fondly
at her mistake. "Why. yes. to be
sure. How stupid 1 am! l was think
ing this is Wednesday evening. S. Y.
"O, say, ma!" oxela med a bright
little girl at the HoTman House wh le
at dinner, "hasn't that man over there
got awful big ears?" "Hush, child!
the gentleman m ght hear you." cau
tioned the mother. "Well, ma." re
torted the precocious uungster. "if
he couldn't hear me with thosa cars he
ought to haul 'em down." X )". Jour
nal. An old country geutleman return
ing home rather late, discovered a
yokel wth a lautern under his kitchen
Wsndow. who, when asked his business
there, stated lie had o-ily come a eourt
.ng. 'Tonic a what?" said the irate
gentleman.' "A courting. s:r. I'se
courting Mary." "It's a lie! What
do ou want a lantern for? 1 never
used one when I was a joung man."
"Xo. sir?" was the o'cel's reply; "I
d.du't th nk yer 'ad judging by the
missis, "i Argonaut.-
A MAN OF NO WEIGHT.
An Incident In an K;Ua Hallway Cir
ri" There were seven of us in the coni
partaientof an English ra lwayoarr age
when the tra n started from thestatibn.
In one corner .sat a man. loug legged,
tall and b-an. At the next station threw
ni'iru travelers entered. These tilled
t.e compartm nt. Opposite the tall
man. a short, fat man took his seat.
"Wish to goodness you'd move vour
knees." sa d the lat man. petulantly.
"Certainly." sa'd the till man, as lie
proceeded to stick his feet under tho
seat oppos te.
"Stop! stop!" yelled the fat man.
"D.du't you sto me put ray bandbox
there? Do you w"ant to smash it?"
"I didn't see you put it there," said
the other. ju etly.
"Well, you ought to. then." grum
bled the fat man. "Lonsr. awkward
giants that can't see ought not to
travel. Hate giants at !eat. half
g ants; regular o!d-fa-h on d giants,
ten feet h gh and live tc't w.de, were
all right but they didn twant totravei
The tall man looked at the speaker
mildly and .sighed.
At tiio next stat on no one got out
but just as the train started one of the
railway oliic als opt'tied the carriage
d or anil pushed a lady into the com
partment The tall man imuied alelv
stood up and gave the lady h s .eat.
"Just what I thought," mi d the fat
man. "Now you can't stand Uir ght.
Pcoplo liko you ought to he made into
two men. What's the u-e of giauts
weak-hearteu. kno-.'k-kniva Bah'
Ever see a ga-it with ti: cole? Ho
ho! Pantoui : esaiu't n t. I saw one
oace with the colic G aat cole, I
'sposc. outs ze on Twa at the sea
side. He doubled h.mself over a rail
iug -feet touched ground on one de.
he-ad the other. I was watch. ug h.m.
'Spose he meant to break the colic in
two. aud tackle otic-h.th at a time. I'p
comes a bobby ays he: Them your
olotbes? Take 'em home; mustn't
hau" vour wardrobe out here to
The tall man aga n gazed on the fat
man. wit.-; a s gh. Then he put a deal
of h mself out of the window, leaning
w.th his elbows at the bottom of the
That Idee !edly object to." er'edthe
fit man. hotly. "Here you an;, st p
pmg" up all vent lat on and giv ng us
about half a camel in th.- c.trr age."
aud he commenced to pound away at
tin half camel's h ml les. The other
half came in w th a s gh: "I wish I .
i-ouid pb-as you."
But you can't." .said the fat man
te-f-ly. "and vou can't help it You're
a nuisance in a crowd n a theater, n
a church, in fact. ever, where. And
yet you'ie only show, you know; no
we ght. solidity or substaut alitv. Look
at me! It's us short tough people that
do the work of the world. You've no
weight, sir; no weight."
"He says I've no we ght! ' murmured
the tall man. wearily; and he dropped
I ke a waterspout into the fat man's
There was a pierc'ng" shriek, a
muilled and .-mothered roar, and it on-
1 needed one glance at the fat. hope-Iwss-Iook.ug
countenance n the corner
i assure me that its owner hail found
the long man carr ed a good deal of
c:ght with him when he sat down
suddenly. Cor. Detroit Free Press.
Trouble In the Household.
At the breakfa-t table Mrs. Warcluso
poured the co..es iu om nous silence.
K nally she .-a d:
Were you at the office all day yes
terday?" W--well. to tell you the truth, tm
dear," repl ed Warelum. "I dldu't feel
much 1 ke business, aud &o I went
down t j Coney I-land for a day at the
"D.d you 0 aloue?" she asked qu et
lv, but firmly.
-N no." he said, "there were a few
fr.ends with me."
Then she lo-t control of herself.
"Yes." she exclaimed, "and such
frie-ds! Jofc Warelum," she went on
exc tedly. "last n:gut you talked in
your sleep, and 1 kuow it all. Fot
over one hour yo.t tossed and tumbled,
and muttered the names M ss Wood
ford, and Jenne !., and Miss Daly,
and Dizzy Blonde, aud once I heard
you T distinctly that they were the
finest lot of maidens vou ever saw.
Think of it! A married ma i. and sup
posably a respectable member of so
ciety, associating with a woman whe
will allow herself to be ailed a dizzy
bloade. It's a perfect"
He interrupted this tirade and at
tempted to explain, but the breakfast
waa cold before ahe could hear a word
21 Y. Bun.
In time. Kidney diseases may be prevented
by purifying, renewing, and invigoratiuir
the blood with Ayer's SarsaparilLt. When,
through debility, the action o? the kidney.
Is perverted, these organs rob the blood of
its needed constituent, albumen, which i
passed off in the urine, while worn out
matter, which they should carry off from
the blood, is allowed to remain. By the
use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the kiduex
are restored to proper action, and Albu
Bright' s Disease
is prevented. Ayer's Sarsaparilla alo
prevents Inflammation of the kidneys, and
other disorders o f thoe organ. Mrs. Jas.
W.Weld, Fore-' Hi'S st., Jamaica Plain,
Mass., write : . 2w e had a complica
tion of disease, but my greatest trouble
has been with my kidueys. Four bottles
of Ayer's Sarsaparilla made me fjeel like
a new person; as well and strong as
ever." W. 31. McDonald, 40 Summer St.,
Boston, Mass., had been troubled for years
with Kidney Complaint. By the use of
Ayer's Sarsaparilla, he not only
the disease from assuming a fatal form,
but was restored to perfect health. John
McLellan, cor. Bridge and Third st.,
Lowell, Mass., writes : "For several years
I suffered from Dyspepsia and Kidney
Complaint, the latter being so severe at
times that I could scarcely attend to no
work. My nppetite was poor, und I vwis
much emaciated; but by uiug
my appetite and ditMiuu inir.iil. muI
my health has been perfectly re-ttm-d ""
Sold by all Dniggl-t"s.
Price 91 ; Six bottles, $5.
Prepared bj- Dr. J. C. Aver .t O.. Lou ell,
f t '
THE FAIX TERM
AX Fremont, NeltrxiMlcn,
SEPT. 1st, 1885.
UNUSUAL ADVANTAGES WILL HE
AFFOKDED I'EKSOXS WISHING TO
THE BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
affords every opportunity for improve
ment, Penm:inhip, ltu?inex Arithmetic,
Itook-keeping. Commercial Correspond
ence, and imitation of actual !uiues
We can cak with the utmost couti
dence of the instruction triven iu our
Music Department. Mis KoJ-e Conrad,
instructor of the Piano Forte, a graduate
of the Cornell Conservatory of Music, is
not only a brilliant performer, but a
pains-taking ami superior teacher. The
instructors iu Vocal Culture, Note-reading
and tf injiinjr are thorough and suc
Tuition for ten weeks, ?10 to $12 if
paid strictly in advance. This in
cludes admission to Normal und ISusines
classes. Music, 12 for twenty lessons.
Sb.ort.hand,$12 for twenty lemons. Type
writing, with ue of instrument, $10 tor
twelve weeks? Good day board can be
obtained iu tbeColleK Home at $2.25 per
week. Rooms f0 eta. to 75 ets. per stud
ent. President of Normal College,"
Denver to Chicago,
Denver to Kansas City,
Denver to Omaha,
Omaha to Chicago,
Kansas City to Chicago,
Omaha to St. Louis,
WEST TO EAST!
BACCACE CHECKED THROUGH.
Through tickets over the Burling
ton Route are for sale by the Union
Pacific, Denver St. Rio Crando and
all other principal railways, and
by all agents of the "Burlington
For further Information, apply to
ny agent, or to
P. S. EUSTIS.Gen'lT'k'tAg-t.
lEWfiPAPER A book of 10O page.
advertiser to con
salt, be be experi
enced or otherwise.
It contains lis tn of newspapers and estimates
ofthecostof advertising. Tbea(lverti3erwho
wants to spend one dollar, finds in it the in
formation he requires, while forbim vt ho will
tavestone hundred thousand dollars in ad
vertising, a scheme la indicated which will
BMthis every requirement, or can bewuuie
to doso bf flight changes eerily arrived at bjcot
rtttfondtmee. lB editions have been issued.
Seat, post-paid, to any address for 10 cents.
Write to GEO. P. KOWEIX ft CO.,
HEWSPAPEJt ADVERTISING BUKEAU.
a9praoaSCPriBtlB-Uoos8q.), Slew York.
A. & M. TURNER'S
BEST I GOODS
The Lowest Prices!
CONSULT THE FOLLOWING ALPHA
AI.HIiJIK. Arithmetir.". Arn.!d' Ink
(pMiuiiiiO. Algebra. Autograph .
bum, Alphabet 1. ock...iithors Card-,
Arks, Accnnleons Abstract Legal Cap.
HRIJMIIEM, liaket:.l!aby Tov,i:ook,
Itibles. Wells for 1 o, Ulan'k l!ook.
Hirthilav Carcl, ltasket lluvgies.. boy'
TooI-cbfts, Halls, ltankcr's Cases,
boy's. Wasion.-. SIimN and Wheelbar
rows, Huti'lier ltook, ltrass.etleil Kil
lers, Hill-books, P.ook Straps, Kate
Balls anil Hats.
CMXIslKMo'CanU. I'aMiii- Cards, Ct.nl
Cases Combs. Comb Cases. Cigar Ca
ses. Checker I'.oanU. Children's Ciiir,
Cups and Saucers yfaucy) Circulating
Library, Collar ami Cutf Boxes, Copv
Books, Christmas Cards, Chinese To.
Crayons, Checkers. Ciics.ineu, Croqiiei
DOJIKMTIC Sewing Machines. Draw
ing Paper, Dressing Cases, Drums.
Diaries. Drafts in books, Dolls. Dressed
DoJN, Dominoes, Drawing huoks.
KXYKI.OI!-:.', Elementary school
books. Erasers (blackboard). Erasers
I'lfl'IO: Books, Floral Album., Fur
UKAnMAKJN, OcogiMphic. (leomc
tiies,(51ove boxes, toy Cutis, (i rtfeopes
(to illustrate the law's of motion).
UAKPKK'N Headers, handsome Holi
day gifts, liana-glasses. Hobby-horse.,
Hand-sat ehels. Histories.
irKM.(ull i;ooil kinds ami colors). Ink
standi ico.mnioii ami fancy ).
JlCWi:i. Cases, .lens harps.
KKUMorink, Kitchen sots.
l.i:iMEKM, Ledger paper. Legal cap,
Lunch baskets, Lookiugglasses.
MA MO & Hamlin Organs, Magnets,
.Music boxes, .Magazines, Mtis-telie
cups, .Mouth organs. Memorandums,
Music books. Mtisie holders, Meiiiiie
oil. Mats, Moderator's records, Muei
i'KKIH.l-i for sewing midlines. Note
OK4aW(, Oil for seeing iu:-( liine-.
Organ stools. Organ set.
l'KKIOISlCAI.. Pictures. Pu.rle
Mocks, Presents, Picture books, Pl-imis,
Pen.s, Papetries. Pencils, Purses. Pol
ish for furniture. Pamphlet c-i-cs. Paper
cutters. Paper fasteners. Picture puz
zle. Picture frames. Pocket books,
Pertumcry ami Perliinierv eases. Paper
racks, Pencil holders.
RKWAKh cards, lluhhcr balls, Rub
SCHOOL books, Sewiug stands, School
Satchels. Slates, Stereoscopes aud pic
tures, Scrap books. Scrap picture.
Sewing machine needles. SchoUr's com
panions, Specie purses, Singing toy
canaries, Metis for boys, Shawl straps,
TELKMCOPIX Toys of all kinds,
children's Trunks, Thermometers,
Tooth brushes (folding), Tea acts for
girls, Tool chests for boys, Ten-pin sets
for boys. Tooth picks, Tin toys.
I'lOLliM and strings, Vases.
WOODBRIUdi: Organs, AVork bas
kets, Waste baskets, Whips (with
case), Webster's dictionaries, Weather
glasses. Work boxes. Whips for boys,
Wagons for boys, What-nots, Wooden
Dimth Strut, "Journal" Building.
DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 1.
A Certain Cure for Nervous Debility,
Seminal Weakness, Involuntary Emis
sions, Spermatorrhea, and all diseases of
thegenito-uriuary organs caused by self
abusc or over indulgence.
Price, f 1 Wper box, six boxes $5.00.
DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 2.
For Epileptic Fits, Mental Anxiety,
Loss of Memory, Softening of the Brain,
and all those diseases of the brain. lrie
$1.00 per box, six boxes ?.".0O.
DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 3.
For Impotence, Sterility in either sex.
Loss of Power, prematureold age, and all
those diseases requiring a thorough in
vigorating of the sexual organs. Price
$2.00 per box, &ix boxes $10.00.
DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 4.
For Headache, Nervous Neuralgia, and
all acute diseases of the nervous system.
Price -00c per box, six. boxes $2.r0.
DR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 5.
For all diseases caused by the over-use
of tobacco or liquor. This remedy is par
ticularly efficacious in averting palsy ami
delirium tremens. Price $1.00 per box,
six boxes $5.00.
We Guarantee a Cure, or agree to re
fund double the money paid. Certiticate
in each box. This guarantee applies to
each of our live Specjtics. Sent by mail
to any address, secure from observation,
on receipt of price. Be careful to mention
the number of Specific wanted. Our
pecitics are only recommended for spe
cific diseases. Beware of remedies war
ranted to cure all these diseases with one
medicine. To avoid counterfeits and al
ways secure tue genuine, order only from
Down & cHi.nrv,
di: ui; gists,
Health is Wealth!
Db E. C. West's Nekte and Hnus TtnuT
IXZXT, a guaranteed specific for Ilj&teria, Dizzi
neae. Convulsions, Fits. Nervous. JNouralgia,
Ueadacho. Nervous Prostration caused by theusa
of alcohol or tobacco. Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Boftenii? of tiio liraiu resulting in in
sanity nnd leading to misery, decay and death.
Premature Old Ag. BarrcnnegiJ. Losa of power
in either sor. Involuntary Losses and cpermat
orrhcea caused byovor-osertionotthobrain.selr-Dboaeor
over-indulgence Each box contains
one month" treatment. $laTOabox,orsixbose
for$i00.8entbymail prepaid on receipt of pneo.
WE CUARAXTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received by us
for ix boxes, accompanied with f&OU. w will
end the purchaser our written guaranteo to re
fandthe money if the treatment ooosnotoasct
core. Guarantees issued only by
JOHN 0. WEST & CO.,
M2 W. MADISON ST., CHICAGO, ILLS.,
Solo Prop's West's Llvec PUIS.
WT UI HT t ikm rmnl In ny cm of Unt Camtbtt
Vjtff. Skk HmiU,ltUftkm. CoutlptHo o CMItcm
a cut nn with Wntl VtpUcJt Unr Kit, wbta lfc cUrw
UcaiaNltrktJycoopltMlwafc. Thy r poitlf jlM.J
L.t &U to r MlUfirtkw. loprCnUl. Vuf UMi.coa
UtetscWpOlittScratfc Ml by mil dntf(feu. Bv
wmtoMti u r .- f TV atM mut&ctand mlf ?
JOUM C WEST CO, Ml A IU W. Kklfeoa SL. atfk
TsTTTVT more money than at anything
W cse by tafcin- an agency for
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