Nebraska Newspapers

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COLUMBUS
STATE BANK!
COLUMBUS, HEI.
CASH CAPITAL, - $75,000
DlIlECTOlfe:
Lkakder Gekrard, Pres'l.
Geo. TV- Hulst, Vice Prcs't.
Julius A. Reed.
R. U. Hen by.
J. E. Taskeu, Cashier.
Baak of leielt, Dlscsamt
amd CschaaKe.
CollectloBN Promptly Made
11 PIat.
Pay latere! est Time fJeae-It--
HENRY GASS,
TJISTDEHTJSIER !
COFFINS AND METALLIC OASES
AND DKALKK IX
Furniture, Chairs, Bedsteads. Bu
reaus. Tables, Safes. Lounges,
&.C.. Picture Frames and
Mouldings.
TST Repairing of all kinds of Upholstery
Goods.
C-tf COLUMBUS. NEB.
HENRY LITERS,
DEALER IN
WIND MILLS,
AND PUMPS.
Buckeye Mower, combined, Self
Binder, wire or twine.
Pimps Repaired on short aotice
JTOne door west of Heintz's Drug
Store, llth Street, Columbus. Neb. 3
INDIGESTION
To strengthen the stomach, create an
appetite, and remove the horrible depres
sion and despondency which result from
Indigestion, there is nothing so effective
as Ayer's PilN. These Pills contain no
calomel or other poisonous drug, act
directly oa the digestive and assimilative
organs and restore health and strength to
the entire system. T. P. Bonner, Chester,
Pa., writes : "I have used Ayer's Pills
for the past 30 years, and am satisfied
I should not have been alive to-day, If it
had not been for them. Thev
Cured
me of Dyspepsia when all other remedies
failed, and their occasional use has kept
me in a healthy condition ever since."
L. X. Smith, Utica, X. Y., writes: "I
have used Aver's rills, for Liver troubles
and Indigestion, a good many years, and
have always found them prompt and
efficient in their action."' Richard Xorrls,
Lynn, Mass.. writes : "After much suffer
ing, I have been cured of Dyspepsia and
Liver troubles
By Using
Ayer's Pills. They have done me more
good than any other medicine I have ever
taken."' John Buniett, Troy, Iowa,
writes: "For nearly two years my life
was rendered miserable by the hocrors of
Dyspepsia, Medical treatment afforded
me only temporary relief, and I became
reduced In flesh, and very much debili
tated. A friend of mine, who had been
similarly afflicted, advised me to try
Ayer's Pills. I did so, and .with the
happiest results. My food soon ceased to
distress me, my appetite returned, aad I
became as strong and well as ever."
Ayer's Pills,
TREPARED 3T j
SI. J. C. AID fc CO, LowelL
For sale by all Druggist.
A HOKD OF WAKXHT6.
FARMERS, stock raisers, and all other
interested parties will do well to
remember that the "Western Horse and
Cattle Insurance Co." of Omaha is .the
only company doing business in this state
that insures' Horses, Mules and Cattle
against loss by theft, accidents, diseases,
or injury, (as also against loss by fire and
lightning). AH representations by agents
of ether Companies to-thc contrary not
withstanding. P. W. HEN'RICH. Special Azt,
15-y Columbus, Neb.
LYON&HEALY
ti a lam Sts-CMease.
UmllmmWiiMt
IAMD CATALGK2WK.
u.
Oram Mm Stall ta4
So7--Saa4 Ontlk (
an? wm
mJ
fSSSSWI
" aTCtate
fie
VOL. XVI.-N0. 19.
EDISON.
UUgd aiisfartBBM Wklck
Have
Overtakes the fcUectrlc KU(.
Although the system of lighting New
York houses with the incandescent elec
tric light has made great strides daring
the last three yean, and although wa
now have one whole district of nearly
a square mile partially lighted by ths
Edison system, it can not be id that
the business has been a bonanza for
anyone concerned, not even Edison him
self. It has been generally supposed,
however, that the wizard of Meulo Park
has so managed things as to derive con
siderable pergonal profit out of his pat
ents. Consequently I was somewhat
surprised to day to learn upon good
authority that Edison is now far from a
rich man. and has very little authority
even in the company of which he is sup
posed to be the bead. Like all invent
ors, he believed that there were millions
in his patents, and although he sot
enough ready money out of the company,
to enable kirn t 'live comfortably, he
took nio-t of his pay in stock. Now,
while the Edison Company has done a
tremendous amount of work in making
the lamps, laying mains, and introduc
ing its system, the expenses hav6 be -n
enormou-. It is a new business, and
every step was more or less of an ex
periment: much work had to be done
over two or three times, and many cost
ly blunders were made. The result has
been that the stockholders have not seen
much money in the shape of dividends.
and
xoiison. reiving largeiv upon nis
stock for reward, has practically noth
ing. Besides, there has been a good
deal of disappointment in the company
over this state of things and an attempt
was maue nearly six months ago to turn
Bilison out. at least, to render his po
sition of no authority. It was claimed
that he was no business mau, which is
probably true, and that the company
could get on better without him. which
Ls probably untrue. For a time Edison
succeeded in beating his opponents. I
hear now. however, that they are get
ting the upper hand, and that Ed son's
voice in the management of the concern
which bears his name is seldom hea -d.
Out of the quadruple apparatus for
sending four messages along one wire
at the same time Edison made the
money with which he began his electrc
light experiments. He was sufficiently
well known in 1877 to attract the atten
tion of capitalists to his schemes, and
the s'ock of the Edison Electric Light
Company, after the tremendous news
paper aJvertsing he got in 1878, roso to
fabulous prices. I remember that early
in ViJy Edison's stock was quoted at
$2.HX) for each one hundred dollar
share. If Edison had not had faith in
his own scheme, he might have sold out
then and have been a rich man to-day.
He kept his stock, and worked night
and day in the service of the company.
Like most new things, there were d?f
Acuities, delays and expenses of which
no one dreamed. It took him a year
more than he calculated to get" his
system in operation, and the cost was
double the estimates. It had been an
nounced that the new light would eon
far less than eras. As a matter of fact
it costs far more, and it was not long
after the company got its works in op
eration that the stock fell in value and
Edison found him-elf with a good deal
of fame to show for his eight years'
work, but with but very little money.
Since the first station was opened,
two vears ago this coming summer,
very little money had been made, and
the work of extending the business
has been slow. In the way of putting
in isolated plants some money has
been made, but not by Edison person
ally. Of late matters have gone from
bad to worse, and 1 am sorry to say
that the famous inventor shows signs
of being bitterly disappointed. He Ls
no business man. and spends mofe
money on experiments than would suf
fice" to support five ordinary famile-i;
hence his present financial depr-sion.
Fortunately, hi Ls likely at any moment
to bring forth something uew. and
there are alwavs plenty of men raily
to put money into his. "schemes. He is
now living quietly in a little fiat off
Broadway in Efghteenth street, for
which he pays a thousand a year, and
working, hard at a device for te'egraph
ing between a moving train aud sta
tions along the line. There is already
one company with a similar project
tud an apparatus for achieving this re
sult, but Edison thinks he can" do bet
ter. A". Y. Cor. Charleston (5. C.)
News and Courier.
"WORTH WHILE."
Weterr Is Worth Doing- at All, I
Worth Doing- Well.
Prince Albert Victor, the prospective
heir to the throne of England, made his
maiden speech the other day to an as
sembly of lads of his own age. "What
ever is worth doing at all is worth do
ing accurately," he said: "whether you
sharpen your pencil or black your boots
do it thoroughly and well."
A young lad who wa3 a pupil at
Rugby school was noted for his bad
penmanship. When his teache-s re
monstrated, he replied: 'Many men of
genius have written worse .scrawls than
I do. It is not worth while to worrv
about so trivial a fault" Ten years
later this lad was an officer in the En
glish army, doing service in the Crimean
war. An order he copied for transmission
was so illegible that it was given incor
rectly to the troops, and the result was
the loss of a great many brave men.
A few years- ago the keeper of a life
savmg station on the Atlantic coast
found that his supply of powder had
giTen out. The nearest village was two
or three miles distant, and the weather
was-inclement He concluded that as
it "was not worth while to go so far ex
pressly for such a trine." he would wait
for a few days before sending for a :ic -ply.
That night a vessel was wreck ei
within sight of the station. A line could
have been given to the crew if he had
been able to use the mortar, but he had
ho powder. He saw the drownins men
fensh one by one insight knowing that
alone was to blame. A few davs
afterward he was dismissed from the
service.
The experience of every man wilL
suggest similar instances that confirm
the truth of the young Prince's advice
to the lads of his own age.
Whatever Ls right to do should be
done witk our best care, strength and
faithfulness of purpose. We Have no
scales by which we can weigh our duties
or determine their relative importance
in God's eyes. That which seems a
trifle to us may be the secret spring
which shaft move the issues of life ana
death. Tooth's Companion.
Soutk Carolina people complain that
they are unable to buy good straw
berries in taeir markets'for the reason
tbattke test an sninW Nsrtk sar
1
A NERVOUS GROOM.
Bow the Practical Gall ef a Chicago Jav
tlce Disconcerted Him.
Two friend chanced to meet on Grand
Avenue the other day and each seemed
to be glad to see the other. One was
evidently a traveling man and the other,
if one were to judge by the nervous
twitching ot his eyelids, and the way
he constantly gazed about him. had the
appearance of a person who had rob
bed a bank, or murdered some one,
and was momentarily expecting to be
nabbed.
"I say, Ned," said the commercial
looking" gent "Whatbaveyou been up
to, that makes you size up every one so
suspiciously?"
"Oh, nothing much," said the other,
"but can you keep a secret. Jack?"
"Well, if there is one thing that I can
keep better than another, it's a secret,"
replied the one addressed as Jack.
"All rijht. if that's the case, I don't
mind telling you. The fact is, I am
married."
" "Oh! come off! You don't mean to
sav that vou have gone and done it, do
you, Ned?"
"Hi at s just about the size of it. Jack
You know the young lady that I have
been ice-creaming and waiting upon for
the last six months? Well, night before
last. I went around as usual at eight
o'clock to make her a call, and the old
man lit on me with both feet This sort
of discouraged me, but Nellie made a
sneak out of the back door and we held
a council of war. It didn't take us more
than fifteen short minutes to make up
our mind to elope, and so before another
sun had como and gone we wre in Chi
azo before a Justice of the Peace, jaud
Nellie and I were soldered together as
tight as three dollars could make us."
"Ls that all? Why, Ned, you are as
nervous as a hen with its head cut off.
Lf it has that effect upon people to get
married, I ilont want any of it in mine."
'Oh. it ami the marrying part of it
that makes me nervous; in fact, I rather
enjoy it, but its the infernal gall of that
justice that has unstrung my nerves.
You know that when a young fellow
embarks on a matrimonial voyage, no
matter what the circumstances may be,
if he loves the girl his only thought is of
her aud his future happiness. Every
thing looks as smooth and flowery to
him as a good, healthy imagination is
capable of seeing; and as for their ever
being unhappy, why the thought never
enters his head. Well, when the jus
tice had rung down the curtain on the
last act of iir little matinee, and I had
'ponied up,' life called me one side and
said:
''Young man, this getting married is a
very serious thing, and should be looked
upon as such. While there are hun
dreds of men getting married everyday,
and living happily with the women of
their choice, there are, on the other
hand, thousands, aye, I might say tens
of thousands who do not live hap
pily together, and in consequence life is
a burden to them, and they meet death
with a smile. Now, young man, what
I am getting at is this: 1 have some
blank divorce papers here, and for the
small sum of five dollars I will fill one
out for you in such a way that in case
you andlyour wife ever wish to dissolve
partnership you will have the means
riirht in the "family, thus saving lots of
trouble and expense.'
"That. Jack, Ls what has nearly given
me St Vitus dance. The words'of that
old reprobate set me to thinking, and
instead of looking forward to joy and
happiness. I can think of nothing but
burnt beefsteak, mother-in-law, and all
sorts of unpleasant things. I am going
home this afternoon to square Nellie and
myself with the old man, and I suppose
I will get another dose there. Say, Jack,
if you should happen to run onto any
vounjf fellow who contemplates mar
riage, by eloping, tell him to go to a
minister, and steer clear
of a Chicago
justice. Ftck's Sun.
THE GREAT PYRAMID.
Reason
Why the Egyptian
Should lie Explored.
Pyramid
Now that Great Britain is dominant
at Cairo, w.,u!d it not be a good idea to
clear away the sand and rubbish from
the Great Pyramid, right down to its
rocky foundation, and try to discover
those vast corridors, halls and temple,
containing priceless curiosities and
treasures with which tradition in all
ages has credited the Great Pyramid?
This wonderful building, of such ex
quisite workmanship, was erected many
years before any of the other pyramids,
which are only humble imitations,
built by another nation, and also for
other purposes; for neither King Cheops
nor anybody else was ever interred be
neath this mighty igasg of stone. The
smallest pyramids also exhibit neither
the nicety of proportion nor the exact
ness of measurement both of which
characterize the first pyramid. From in
ternal evidence it seems to have been
built about the year 2170 B. c, a short
time before th : birth of Abraham, more
than 4.000 years ago. This one of the
seven wonders of the world in the days
of ancient Greece is the only one of
them all still in existence. The base of
this building cavers more than thirteen
square acres of ground. Its four sides
face exactly north, south, east and
west It is situated in the geographical
centre of the land surface of the globe.
It was originally 485 feet high, and each
of its sides measures 762 feet It is
computed to contain 5.000,000 tons of
hewn stones beautifully fitted together
with a mere film of cement And these
immense blocks of -stone must have been
brought from quarries 500 miles distant
from the site of the building. The
present well-known King and Queen
chambers, with the various passages,
might also be thoroughly examined by
means of the electric or lime lights.
The Astronomer Royal of Scotland
some years since closely and laboriously
examined all that is at present known
of the interior of this enormous building.
He states that the measurements in the
chambers, etc., show the exact length
of the cubit of the Bible namely, twenty-five
inches. This cubit was used in
the building of Noah's Ark, Solomon's
Temple, etc He also maintains that
the pyramid shows the distance of the
sun from the earth to be 91,840,000
miles. Cor. SL James Gazette.
It is estimated that four thousand
Danes will come to thi country this
year, most of whom wQl settle in the
Northwest Most of the immigrants
from Denmark as farmers in good cir
cumstances. The majority own farms,
and when they come to "this country
they bnnr considerable money with
them. Chicago Times.
mum
A surgeon, who wished to compli
ment the-heroism of a soldier who had
just bad .his leg amputated, toM him
that he' had stood ir like a wtmn,2f.
jr. &(w $.
(i"ultimliHi
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 2,
BEEF BRAINS.
They Are ta Demand Just Xsw-Hov They
Are Procured.
"These arc the brains of Colorado
cattle, just slaughtered and fresh."
said a gray-haired man to the keeper
of a restaurant on Madison street yes
terday. "I've sold all but this dozen,
and you can have 'em for 2." The
restaurant-keeper showed a disposition
to purchase and asked the man to dis
close his wares. In a short time the
brains were removed from a bucket and
placed on a large platter. They were
covered with coagulated blood antl
looked anything but palatable, but the
seller aid that a wash in warm water
and salt would remove the objectiona
ble features and impart to the brains a
wholesome odor. He was given his
price, and was told that the restaurant
was a ready market for all such viands.
"Yes. the brains of cattle are a treat
at this season of the year," said the ca
terer, "but we have difficulty in secur
ing a supply. A great many people are
infatuated with sweetbreads, especially
those whose stomachs are of the weak
sort. Now, the brains of cattle are in
greater demand than sweetbreads, and
when it becomes known that the dish
can be secured here epicures Jrom all
Sarts of the city will pay me a visit
loreover, the dish is a nutritious one.
and when prepared by a French cook is.
fit for the gods. Yes I'll sell those at
sixty cent per order, and you can see
that there is quite a profit in them. The
cause of tne small supply is attributed
to the manner in which cattle are killed
iu Chicago. One would think that
whsre thousands of cattle are slaugh
tered daily there would be an abun
dance of brains, but such is not the
cae. Some of the butchers slaughter
their cattle by stoving in their skulls
with a sledge-hammer. Others shoot
them through the brains, and when cat
tle are killed that way the brains are
unfit for food. The "blood coagulates
there. and besides the brains are
smashe I into a jelly. Thev have to bj
taken out whole and handfed carefully
in order to dispose of them to custom
ers" The little man who makes a living by
supplying restaurants with brains was
seen, and he agreed with the caterer.
He said: "Packers have no use for th
brains of cattle, and, in fact, it is the only
part of the beef that U not used. As
a dish it is the finest in the restaurant
line, but it is hard to get 'em. When
the butcher severs the head from the
1 oJy and removes the tongue, t take
the head one side and with a cJiisjl re
move the front of the skull. A couple
of twLsts of a knife blade remove the
little chords aud out it drops. Without
much difficulty I cau get two dozen a
day. I sell them for two dollars pel
dozen, so you see it's not a bad busi
ness.' "Do you have to oav anything foi
them?" "
"Not anything to speak of. Maybe 1
buy half a dollar's worth of beer for the
butchers a dinner time. I can wel.
afford to do that"
"You en oy a monopoly of the bus!
ness."
"A what?"
"You have the business all to your
self; "Yes, kiud of: there were soaie fei
lows who 'iLshed for brains' for a while,
but they looked upou it as a dirty bus!
nes and quit"
The men who entertained such opin
ions were correct The "brain man,'
as he L called, was not attractive in ap
pearance, his clothing being bespattered
with blood from head to foot. Ckiaujt
Tribune.
PERSIAN POETRY.
Ita Characteristics Pointed Oat and Theli
Relation.
Persian poetry had its birth in a coun
try conspicuous for natural advantages,
a country distinguished for the mildness
of its climate, the clearness of its streams
and the perpetual verdure of its plains;
a country of lofty mountains, inland
seas and rolling rivei; the land of the
gazelle, the camel and the caravan.; a
land abounding in fruits and flowers,
full of pleasant gardens and enlivened
with the songs of innumerable birds; a
land where millions of butterflies of the
richest colors were wafted through the
summer air. In this land of the olive,
the date, the pomegranate and the fig,
where the palms of the South met the
pines of the North, was reared a nice
of men combining in a rare degree in
genuity, vivacity, intellectual force,
subtlety and refinement of manners.
The Persians early acquired repute as a
people of taste, invention and art stic
skill. The finest silks, the richest vel
vets the costliest brocades, the softest
and rarest carpets and the most splen
did tissues were of Persian origin. The
art newly dLeovered in America and
Europe, how to combine great variety
of colors with perfect harmony, and tc
delight the eye with soft and "pleasing
gradations, pfodui ing a rich composite
effect from the simplest elements, wa
original with the Persians centuries ago.
The very figures of floor cloth on which
the Shah Mahmoud walked in the tenth
century, the shawl patterns that adorned
the heroines of Jamiud of Hafiz ari
imitated in the looms of England and
the United States to-day. In archi
tecture and t:w line arts, as in decora
tiveart. the Persians of the middle ages
achieved a notable success Their clfief
cities showei" .-pendid palaces. filled with
gems of art and sparkling with jewel-,
and stately mosques with white or aurt
dome. Xorth American Review.
A Traveler's Return.
An Indian explorer, known as Ihc
Pundit A K .in the employ of the
Indian survey, has jut returned from
journeyings in Thibet, during which he
spent a year in Lhasa, the cap'tal ol
Thibet, and the Rome of Buddhism.
Before this traveler only four Europeans
of this century have visited Lhasa. Hue
and Gabet, the French missionaries,
were driven from the city forty vears
go,-after living there a" few months.
Moorcroft was killed after he left tha
city, and another traveler was permit
ted to remain there-only a few davs. He
says the city is crowded with temples,
and has its Vatican in the mouastery at
Potola, where the Dalai Lama live,
who is regarded as the incarnation of
Buddha. This building is surmounted
by five gilded cupolas, which, when
sparkling in the sunlight present a daz
zling spectacle. It contains numerous
images one of which is seventy feet
high. During the festivals in the mid
dle of February the Thibetans gathered
to Lhasa, from all over the country to
pay homage to all the gods and godess
es who are supposed to be present
These ceremonies last about a moatk,
at the end of which all the citizens an
considered to have become -purified for;
Thary r. London Times.
FXRIT
National Bank!
Aithrixed Capital,
Paii la Capital,
Sarwlis aad Prelts,
- .8250,000
60,000
- 13,000
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
A. ANDEBSON, Pres't.
SAM'L C. SMITH. Vice Preset.
O. T. ROEX, Cashier.
.1. W. EARLY.
HERMAN OEHLRICH,
W. A. MCALLISTER,
G. ANDERSON,
P. ANDERSON.
Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage
Ticket, anu Seal Estate Loans.
29-vol-13-lr
1TJ3HE88 CASD8.
D. T. MaBTYX, M. D. F. J. SCHCG, if . D.
Drs. KAETYH ft SCHTJG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons,
Local Surgeons. Union Pacific, O., N.
&. B. H. and B. & M. R. R's.
Consultations in German and En
'lish.
Telephones at office and residences.
HrOfflce over First National Bank.
COLUMBUS,
NEBRASKA.
42-y
p I. EVAXS, 91. D.,
PHYSICIAN AXD SURGEON.
jSTOfliee and rooms, Gluck building,
llth street. Telephone communication.
-y
HOkCEOPATHIST.
Chromic Diaaase aad Diseases of
Ckildrem a Specialty.
iSETOiIice on Olive street, three doors
north of First National Bank. 2-ly
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE.
Upstairs Ernst building llth street.
C.'1
J. GAKLOW, Collection Att'y.
SPECIALTY MADE OF BAD PAPEIt.
Office with J. G. Higgins. 3i-."m
TT J. BUOSO.-,
NOTARY PUBLIC,
2th Street. 2 doors went of Hammoml House,
Columbus, Neb. 49I-y
J J. KEEDEB,
A TTORN'ET AT LA W,
j
Office on Olive St., Columbus, Nebraska
2-tf
HOEY XO -bOAIf .
Five years' time, on Improved farms
witk-at least one-fourth the acreage under
cultivation; fn sums representing one
third the fair value of tbe homestead.
Correspondence solicited. Address,
M.K.TURNER,
.")0-j Columbus, Nebr.
V. A. MACEEN,
DKALER IX
Foreign and Domestic Liquors and
Cigars.
llth street, Columbus, Neb. 50-y
jl rcA-LLlSTER BROS.,
l TTOR2TEYS A T LA W,
Office up-stairs in McAllister's build
ing, llth St. W. A. McAllister, Notary
Public.
Ton: TIMOTHY,
NOTARY PUBLIC AND CONVEYANCER.
Keeps a full line of stationery and school
supplies, aud all kinds of legal forms.
Iu-jures against tire, lightning, cyclone
and tornauoss.
Platte Centei.
Office in Powell's Block,
ty-x
J. St. MACFAKLAND,
B. K. COWDERY,
Cdla.
LAW AND COLLECTION
OF
OFFICE
MACFARLAND &
Columbus,
CO WD BR r,
Nebraska.
J. J. .HAUGHA3I,
Justice. County Surveyor, 2fotary.
Land and Collection Agent.
Parties desiring surveying done can
notify me by mail atPIatte Centre, Neb.
tji-bm
Tj- U.KUSCHE,
llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel.
Sella Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, trunks,
valises, buggy tops, cushions, carriage
trimmings, Ac, at the lowest possible
prices. Repairs pn mptly attended to.
TAMES NALTiO.1,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
frame or brick buildings. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on i:tth Street, near
St. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne
braska, o'l 6mo.
T 11. LAWKEiHt'E,
DEP UTY CO. SUR VL YOR.
Will do general surveying in Platte
and adjoining counties. Office with S. '.
Smith.
COLUMBUS,
XKBRASK .
lT-tf
J.
S. MURDOCK & SON,
Carpenters and Contractors.
Havehad an extended experience, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitytoestimateforyou. "2TShop on
13th St, one door west of Friedbof &
Co's. store. Columbus. Nebr. 483-v
o. c. sTTAisnsrosr
SMXCrACTUBZK OK
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, Koofine and Gutter
ins; a Specialty.
fisT"Shop on Olive Street, i doors
north of brodfeuhrer's Jewelry Store.
4-v
pi WrCLAK K
LAND
AND INSURANCE AGENT.
HUMPHREY, NEBR.
His lands comprise some fine tracts
in the Shell Creek Valley, and the north
ern portion ot -PI?tte county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. Satisfaction
guaranteed. 30 j
1885.
COAL LIME!
J. E. NORTH & CO.,
DEALERS IN
Coal.
Lime,
Cement.
Rock Spiig Coil,
Carboi (Wyonii?) Coal..
Eldon (Iowa) Coil
...$7.00 per toi
... 00
... 5.00 "
Blacksmith Coal of best quality al
ways on: hand at low
est prices.
North Side Eleventh St.,
COLUMBUS, NEB.
14-3m
UNION PACIFIC
LAND OFFICE,
S AML, C. SMITH, Ag't.
ASD
General Real Estate Dealer.
Z3TI have a large number of improve d
Farms for sale cheap. Alio unimproved
(arming and grazing lands, from $4 to $15
per acre.
JTSpecial attention paid to ma kin:
tinal proof on Homestead and Timber
Claim.
15?. 11 having lands to sell will nnd it
to cbeir advantage to leave them in my
hands for sale. Money to loan on farms.
F. H. Marty, Clerk, speak German.
30-tf Columbus, Nebraska.
I0UIS SCHBEIBEE,
II
AH kinds of Repairing done 01
Short Notice. Buggies, Wag
ons, etc., Bade to order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-famous Walter A.
Wood Xowers. Beapers, Combin
ed Machines, Harvesters,
and Self-binders the
best made.
13rShop opposite the "TattcrsalL" on
Olive SU COLUMBUS. 2f-m
ire presents given away.
Send us 5 cents postage,
iuuu anu oy man you win get
jree a pacicage of goods of larze value,
that will start you in work that will at
once bring you in money faster than any
thing else in America. All about the
$200,00) in presents with each box
Agents wanted everywhere, of either
sex, of all ages, for all tbe time, or spare
time only, to work for us at their own
homes. " Fortunes for all workers ab
solutely assured. Don't delay. H. Hal
lett fe Co., Portland, Maine.
pAMPllEtLL efc ST. CX.AIB,
DKALKRS IS
Ifcasrs and Iron ! "
The highest market price paid tor rags
andiron. Store in the Bubach buildiutr,
Olive st., Columbus, Neb. l.T-tf
NO HUMBUG!
But a Grand Success.
RP. BRIGHAM'S AUTOMATIC WA-
ter Trough for stock. He refers to
every man whohas it in use. Call on or
leave orders at George Yale's, opposite
Oehlrich's grocery. " fUJm
A PRIZE.
Send six cents for
postage.and receive
free, a costly box of
goods which will help you to more money
right away than anything else in this
world. All, of either sex, succeed from
tirst hour. The broad road to fortune
opens before the workers, absolutely
sure. At once address, Truk & Co..
Augusta, Maine.
"VOTICE TO TEACHERS.
J. B. Moncrief, Co. Supt-,
Will be in his office at the Court House
on the third Saturday of each
month for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, and"
for tne transactton of any other business
pertaining to schools. 567-y
FARMER'S HOME.
This House, recently purcha-ed bv me.
1 will Ik: thoroughly refitted. B-urd
by the day. week or mea!. A few room
ti let. A share of the public patronage
is solicited. Feed stable in connection.
2-y Albert Luth.
H
A.WILTO.I MEABE, Jl. Ik,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Platte Center, Nebraska.
9.j
BttMMOT
mm nnn
WHOLE NO. 799.
JIG MONKEYS.
Good Story on Adam For
fc AChlsi
of Um Old Block,
The boys tell a good away jokes
om
Uncle Admsa ForepauglOlM circus
Adam a an old Pennsylvania Dutch
man, rich, but a little '.'near." That
Is, be looks after the dollars pretty well,
and wants ever dollar to go as far as it
can. His son. young Adam, or ''Addy,'
as the boys call him, is a chip of the old
block, or in other words there is a good
deal of the old Adam in the young Adam.
The old man has great confidence in
'Addv," who is one of the greatest
trainers of wild animals in tbe world,
but the young man is full of jokes, and
the old man comes in for his share,
though he never believes that he, is be
ing made game of until it is all 'over.
Last year "Addy" was in Europe look
ing up curiosities, and one day bis father
received a cablegram saying, "I have
bought two monkeys that weigh nia
hundred pounds each. Cable me twenty-live
hundred dollars." Adam read
the message and handed it to his mana
ger, sayine:
"I told you dot boy find something la
Europe dot make you hair stand up
straight. Dem is the biggest monkeys
ever vos"
"But, Mr. Forepaugh." said the man
ager, "you are not oing to send the
money, are.you? There are no such
monkeys, weighing as much as a horse.
There is some mistake."
"I send de money," said Adam.
"Dot boy has struck a lead of monkeys
and donrt you forget it. You 'can't till
vot kind of monkeys dey get from the
interior of Africa. Ven we get dere
small monkeys, ve get just in de edge of
Africa. Now dey get clear in de inside
of Africa dey get monkeys de full size.
You wouldn't believe it ven dey got
goriUa first, neider," and old Adam be
gan to arrange to cable the money to
Addy.
"Well, if Addy has got a nine-hundred
pound monkey, I will eat him."
said the manager. " "It Ls unreasonab'e.
and I wouldn't pay the money till I saw
the monkeys, if I was you."
"Veil, vat's de use my seeing 'em.'
said the old man a little" vexed. "Addy,
he seen 'em. and daff settles it. If daft
.boy cable me he got a dwarf eighteen
ieet high, he got him, dot's all. You
can't fool dot boy on monkeys. He
knows more about monkeys dan all de
other showmen. Vot do we know about
big monkeys tree bur tousand miles
:avay? Dere miht be monkeys big as
elephants for all we know. I send de
money to-night." and he did. The next
day the old man got a cable from
"Addy" as follows:
"Money received monkeys dead."
Old Adam was pondering over the
message when the tnanager came in. He
banded the message to the manager and
said:
"Vot you tink?"
The manager said he knew all the
time there was no such monkeys, and it
was his opinion Addy wanted fpme
money pretty bad. and look that way to
deceive his poor old trusting father, and
get the money. The old man thought a
minute and then said.
"Veil, vot is it your business? Vot
you kicking about? Addy vant de
money, and he got it, ain't it. Dot vos
my boy." and he went out laughing and
slapping his sides at the joke Addy had
played on him. Peck's Sun.
Texas.
An Englishman, writing heme from
Texas says: There are no game laws
except as to close seasons, which are
ittle regarded, in that vast wild country.
'For protection a six-shooter may be
carried, except in the towns; but should
never be shown unless for immediate
use, when " 't were well 't were done
quickly," or the other fellow will get the
drop on you. But if a stranger avoids
saloons and speaks civilly, he need never
get into a "muss;" and if you treat the
boys "white.' they will treat you "right
square, you bet your sweet life," and
"will dearly love to make you comfort
able," as a Texan landlady remarked to
us. They will share their "chuck"
(food) and their Ixst quid of tobacco,
and they may accept ammunition or to
bacco or a shooter in return fur services
rendered, tyit do not offer them money
unless you wish to have your hair parted;
and. above ail, remember that in Texas,
as throughout America, Jack is as good
as bis master. A person who cannot
help swaggering Jbout British superi
ority had much better keep the broad
Atlantic between himself and Texas;
while another person with bis mouth shut
and his eyes open will thoroughly enjoy
that country.
Roman Remains in Bavaria.
The remains of a larju
Roman villa
fatted with extensive baths have been
recently discovered nt Eining. near
Abensberg supposed to be the ancient
Abusina a town in Bavaria on the
Abens Riverr near the Danube. The
heating apparatus has been found in
very perfect condition, together with
many curious and interesting architect
ural details. But what is perhaps of
more interest still, the skeleton of a wo
man has been found, having by herside
a jug, a glass urn, and tear-bo'ttles the
last usual offering to the dead. In ad
dition to thto, there was the apparatus
of her toilet, including hair-pins, pearl
necklace, and bracelets. Some sculp
ture was also brought to light, though
in a very broken state; but one piece,
a woman's head in m?rHe, was very
well executed iiuleed. A "votive" atone
was also found with an inscription of
four lines, dedicated, as an offering, in
honor of 'lDea Fortuna Augusta Faus
tina." A large number of Roman
weapons, coins, spoons, rings, and
fibula;, and many other articles, with
Roman bricks, tiles, and stamps in con
siderable numbers, were also discovered
among the foundations of this interest
ing villa. N. Y. Evening Pout.
The other day some Denver doctors
killed a terrier by cutting its throat and
withdrawing Its "blood. They let it re
main dead for something more than
three hours, when they proceeded- to
force into its system fresh blood drawn
from a large Newfoundland mastiff. In
twenty minutes from the time the first
warm blood was injected the terrier
sneezed, and in another half hour was
sleeping in a warm blanket, apparently
recovering from an illness. In two days
it was running about, and is now a well
and hearty terrier. The truth of this
story is vouched for by the Denver
Noes.
Lignum vita; .stands first amon;
ur native woods in power to resist "isj
deatation," which means in the cemstw
test compression in alineperyeadicalflr
to tbe liber.
.STBmsineM aad profMaioaaJ cards
of fir limes or less, psx sshsi, Its
dollars.
0For tints adTsrtlssmsats, applr
st this oScs.
BTLesal advertisements atstatats
rates.
JflTTor traasisat advsrtlsiac.
rates oat&ird asfs.
QTA11 sdvartlsssisats
asyabls
taly.
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.
Clarence A. Freeman, the checker
champion of America, is trweaty-six
years old. He claims direct descent
from the Pequot Indians.
The widow of Barrios had the rep
utatiou of being the most beautiful
girl in Guatemala when th General
stole her from a convent.
Laceyvilltt. Bradford County. bouts
of a fourteen-year-old boy who weighs
two hundred and thirtv-two pounds,
and is yet growing. He expects to
pass his mother, who turns the seals
at four hundred pounds. ,
The Earl of Selkirk, whoss litis
has become extinct bv hi, death latsly
at St. Mary's Isle. Scotland, was saa
of the founder of the Selkirk settle
ment in Canada. Paul Jones once
dropped down on St. Mary's Isle and
carried on the family plate while ths
Earl was away. It was recovered, sad
tke family have it to-day.
Captain Eparaim D. Ellsworth sad
wife. tne. parents of Colonel E. E. Ells
worth, who lost bis life in-that famous
staircase at Alexandria at tbe outbreak
of tbe war. are living at Mechanics
ville. N. Y., in a comfortable little cot
tage adorned with numerous mementos
'sacred to the memory of their gallant
son. whose monument can be seen
from one of the windows. Troy Time.
Mrs. Lovoy Glover, of Canterbury,
N. H.. who died recently, aged
one hundred and eight years,
bad for more than twenty year
praved every morning and night that
God would- not allow her to become a
pauper or be buried as one. and tbe in
telligence of her death had no sooner
got abroad in the town than the good
people contributed a generous sum.
which paid all the burial expenses.
Boston Fod.
The mortal rem hi m of Beethoven
and Schubert are to be transferred
from their present resting place to tho
new Central Cemetery in V.enna. It
is a melancholy fact that the-jrcmalns
of Mozart have been misla'd. and there
is no .sign to indicate where he was
interred. It was to avoid such a eon
t'ngency that Wagner prepared bis
own tomb in advance, and Ii.itl it in
scribed with the .solitary word-. "Rich
ard Wagner."
The announcement that Mr. Mor
gan, of Kentucky, mother of the late
Confederate cavalry General, has been
left property worth one million dollarj
by a deceased relative in Paris is true.
Ex-Congressman Thompson arranged
all the papers in the case of E. T. Hal
sey. of Louisville, who has gone to Eu
rope to settle up the etnte. The late
Baroness who bequeathed the property
to Mrs. Morgan was a niece of tbe lat
ter without direct descendants. t'ht
go Herald.
The versatile Ellen Terry, the act
ress, first married Mr. Watts, the art
ist. That gentleman, having obtained
a divorce, was succeeded by Mr. War
dell. Not satisfied with Iter second
choice. Miss Terry ditorced him. and.
settling her affections upou Charles
Kelly, iiecame his wife. Incompatibil
ity sooii separated them, and uow
death, by the removal of Mr. Kelly,
has severed all entangliug alliances.
The London paper? arc saving that
Mr. Irving will marry Miss Terry now
that she is free aniiu.
"A LITTLE NONSENSE."
He was just lighting his cijrar. be
fore leaving for the uirht. "Do ou
like wax matches?" he akcd. "No, I
prefer live ones," ,-he answered. They
are eujjajrcd. Norristown Herald.
"I wish I were a muff." -aid a dev
guested poker player "Why so?'" in
quired his astonished friend. "Because
then I might have a chance of holding
a fair hand once in a while." -V. Y.
Herald.
One McLeod. of Balt'more. has
been kilted by a pin board hurled
against him by the w.nd. P.ttc it up
on the outer wall, ye cd lor-! bored
to death by wind. Hi nghti niton lie
jtublicttn. "What' that man doing there,
waving that little ,-t'ck?" said a coun
tryman who was at th- theater for the
first t.me. "That is the leader of the
orchestra." replied hi- cit cou-iiu.
"The leader! O. cs. A a niu-iciaii.
I suppose, he beits all the others."'
"No; he beaN t nie."-'(u I'uur.er.
The sam-old attract on:
'"Ynu'te coiun Crtitii the rink." ald the
amulet; ta r
To the outb v.-ao a on Iit a t'tijf;
"Pray tell me wlml Uie attraction tbe re
To-night It rancv katjuj."
He rubbfil hit spine. oJ bla fca betrayrtl
His bosom's uir.taUon;
The a:nv old attraction i ther." be Mtid.
"The attraction of xr-.ivitutfou."
liOilori ('ourmr.
Belkins to his friend (.obbletun
"Say. I hear that ou have married
your washer-woman." Cobbleton
"Ve-;." H. -"What on -arth prompted
you to i lower your--IfJ" C "Well,
it was this av I owed hr for wash
ing. Sa:d that if I d.dn't pav her she
would ".i" uif. Marr.ed her to prevent
litigation. Now -he'll n-ver ;et a
cent." - Arkammr Tranter.
The widow Flapjack, recently of
Austin avenue, got two new gentlemen
boarder-. "Are tlio-e two ent!eiueu
married?" she a-ked of G-Ihoolv. who
is a regular boarder, "No. and thev
are rich. One of them ovv us a goat
ranch." "You don't -:v -o." .i:d
Mp.. Flapjack, and tripping out into
the kitchen, -he whispered to the cok:
"Put three extra beau- in the co-?e
null when you grind the cotle.- thi- af
ternoon." Te-xm luting .
Two Women.
Did ou t-ver hear two married
wouieu take leave of each other at the
gate on a mild evening? Thi- Ls how
they do it: "Good-be! Good-bye!
Come down aud see u- soon." "I will.
Good-bye! Good-byoe' Don't forget
to come -oon." "No. I won't. Don't
you forget to come up." "I won't.
He -lire and bring Sarah Jane with you
next time." "I will. I'd have brought
her up this time, but she wasn't very
well. She wanted to come awfully."
"Did she now? That was too bad! Ue
sure and brinr her next time." I will;
and you be sure and bring baby." "I
will." I forgot to tell you he's cut an
other tooth." "Youaloift say so! How
many has he now?" "Five. It makes
him "awfully cross." "I dare say it
does this hot weather." "Well, siood
Irye! Don't forget to come down."
"No, I won't Don't you forget to
come up. Good-bye." And they sep
arate. Exchange.
The day Is aot distant wbea it will
everywhere" be considered a duty to
plant a tree for every one that is felled.
If civilization can not sbow its superi
ority over savagery in ways like thess
it will have much to answer for.
Chicago HeraieL