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rf 11
1 etctaht
VOL. XVl-rN0.:9.C!
.1-,
.- j .'.'
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
Wl.ce over youth's receding- track
The moonlight of remembrance throws
A tender charm, half winning back
The Euiishioc that tx quickly goes:
How oft in reirospcctiou cast,
rntranimeleJ fatter floats between
Ttie actual story of the past,
Aud what that story inljrht have been.
But simple word? to bi-eathe so much .
n sol t it-jrret or sorrow keen,
hi truth there Hre uot.many touch
.More hearts than these: It might have been!
Alone and loveless, year by yeai,
:ur Uf.- ure live our way are planned;
Young love himself once hovered near.
To wait awhile a beckoning band.
V.'ben witfully the urchin emiled.
We passed him by with look serene,
Tnough now, I warrant, though beguiled
tt e sometimes say : It ruljrht have been!
Oli. simple words that breathe so much
Of sott regret or soirow keen.
Wlieie Is the heart ye can not touch,
Ott echoed sih: It might have been?
We aw the victor's laurel wave.
Hut never proud success have known;
Alack, her plowing mead shegave
To other etlorts than our own.
'Twits not for us to tate her bliss.
Who only prove what failures mean;
Yet conscience whispers but for this.
Or but for that: It might have becu!
Where is the heart they can not touch
w ith sott regret or abrrow keen?
To you, to me. they.brc.ithe sq, much. " -
Those simple words: It might have been!
Hen; was the glittering plaything prireii,
Whose wortblcdsneS', we saw too late:
And there the single chance despised
Which oieued up a fairer fate.
Ah. well a day! We know not what
or dauber lurked within the ecetie,
Aud haply it were wiser not
To dream of nil that might have been.
A i'i yet our inmost hearts they touch
With soft regret or sorrow keen,
Thoe simple words which mean so much.
That frequent sigh: It might have been!
Sydney Grty, in Aryoty.
A GOOD JOKE.
The
Two Lieutenants Schmidt,
Father and Son.
A certain man by the name of Carl
Solimiilt joined the army and became a
Lieutenant in a battery of artillery,'
which was stationed at the time of our
story in a small Prussian town. As he
had no inthieuce at headquarters pro
motion was very slow, being almost as
slow as i he action in a Supreme Court.
Other ami less deserving oflicers were
advanced, but Lieutenant Carl Schmidt
did not advance except in age and expe
perieiiee. He was still a Lieutenant
when his hair became" gray. Hoary
headed Lieutenants are quite common
in the German arm.
Lieutenant Schmidt had married verv
early in life. In due time a sou was
born, to whom was given his father's
name. As soon as the son was old
enough he was sent to the military
academy, and after having graduated
was assigned to the same battery in
which his father was a Lieutenant.
There were, therefore, two Lieuten
ant, by the name of Carl Schmidt in
the same battery. But what was more
peculiar still was the fact that father
and son were identical in form and
feature, except that while the hair and
mou.-tache of the father were suowy
uhite, those of the son were a jet,
glossy black. The sou had an old look,
which gave him a more venerable ap
pearance than that of most ineu of his
age, while the father, who was of a
lively turn of mind, seemed to be
younger than he really was.
At lir-t the son lived with his parents,
but on the 'death of his mother, father
ami -on no longer lived together. Each
one rented himself a room. The
younger man preferred this mode of
life, as it gave him more liberty. In
order to prevent confusion the" father
was known among his army friends as
Schmidt No. 1, while the son was called
Schmidt No. 2. They were so identical
iu personal appearance that had the son
powdered his hair, the most intimate
friends of the two Lieutenants Schmidt
would not have been able to decide iu
what relation they stood to each other.
Schmidt No. 1 wai, in the habit of in
viting oflicers, who visited the town in
which his battery was stationed, to
lodge with him. He had a large num
ber of acquaintances among the older
army officers, one of whom was stop
ping with him at the time at which our
tory begins. This officer, who be
longed to the dragoqu--, although no
longer young, had remarkably black
hair.
Schmidt No. 1, on coming iuto tho
room of his guest one morning, ob-j-crved
that he was holding a bottle in
his hand, from which he had just taken
the cork.
"What have von sot there liver rer- I
tilator. or something for j'our stomach s
sake?' queried old Schmidt.
The guest seemed to be annoyed, and
replacing the cork, replied thai it was
a remedy for dandrun. and placed the
bottle on the edge of the window be
hind the curtain, The guest left a few
hours afterward.
The incident had passed out of the
mind of Schmidt No. 1. and he would
perhaps never have recalled it had he
not noticed thelottle a few days after
ward. It ihen occurred tohimthat he.
too, was troubled with dandruff in his
hair and moustache, so he applied the
stun" his guethad left behind liberally.
He had .scarcely done so when, glanc
ing at the clock, he perceived it was
time for him to appear on the parade
ground to superintend tha drilling of
the recruits. Seizing his cap and sword
he hurried out. Had he looked in the
glass he would have been somewhat
surprsed. for the allegedsnrefordand
rull was simply hair dye. and the snowy
hair and muVtachc of Schmidt No.
1 were as black, as a. raven's, wing. The
only poiuts of difference between him
elf and ton were completely wijed
out. To all outward appearances fath
er and sol' were absolutelv identical,
although Schmidt No. 1 was utterly
ignorant of the transformation that had
taken place iu his personal appearance.
The Captain of the battery, who was
an old gentleman bv the name of
tiraun, was already on the parade
ground, waiting for'the arrival of his
friend Schmidt No". 1. Captain Braun
was greatly gratified w hen he saw his
friend coming, for they were great
chums and loved to chat together. As
Schmidt No. 1 drew near Braun, the
latter perceived bv the black hair and
mustache that he was mistaken, that it
wa Schmidt No. 2; so he thought.
Good morning. Lieutenant Schmidt
Where Ls your father this morning?'
Now the father of Lieutenant Schmidt
No. 1 had been dead manv vears, hence
the old Lieutenant stared" stupidlv at
his superior officer instead of answering.
He was under the impression that he
had not heard aright.
"Your father is well I hope," con
tinued Captain Braun.
-My father?" inquired Schmidt, look
ing still more perplexed,, and satisfied
in his own mind that his hearing had
become defective.
"Yes, your father. I thought I ex
pressed myself very clearly. What
cause is there for surprise in my askhfo"
after the health of vour father," asked
Captain Braun.
'You are very kind, I am sore, to J
make inquiry." replied Schmidt No. 1,
"but. Captain, my father is dead, mu
fortunatelv." "Dead!'"' almost shrieked old Braun.
lid vou sav dead?'
"Yevdcad." replied Schmidt No. 1.
opening his eves wider than ever.
. "My God! It is dreadful!. How true
it is that iu the midst of life we are in
death. Merciful Heavens, how did it
happen?'
"His horse fell on him and broke his
neck."
The old Captain clasped his hands in
silent agony, and muttering: "it is
dieadful, dreadful!" walked slowly
away.
Schmidt No. 1 did not know what to
think. Why his father, who had beea
dead twenty-five years, should become
the object of interest to Captain Braun
at that late dav was more than he could
apprehend. l!s gazed at the retreating
form of his suparior officer until he
turned a corner and was out of sight,
and then soliloquized:
"inLs neats anything I nave experi
enced yet. Poorold Braun must have
softening of the brain, or else he has
taken to drinking."
Just then Lieutenant Scholz, another
offcer belonging to the same battery,
came around the comer.
"Good morning, Schmidt."
"Good morning. Scholz. By the
way. Scholz," said Schmidt No. 1,
"did vou meet Captain Braun just
now?"
"I did."
"Did vou observe anything peculiar
"Yes, he looked as if he had been
crying."
'"I thought .so. Either the old man
has lost his faculties or else he has
taken to stronir drink."
"I can't believe that He is not tkat
sort of a man."
"There is certainly something wrong
about him. There is a screw loose
about him somewhere."
"What makes vou think so,
Schmidt?"
"Well, just think; he asked me
awhile ago how my father was coming
on. Did vou ever hear anything like
that?"
" Why shouldn't he askyouhowyour
father was coming on? I don't see "any
thing very strange in his asking you
about your father."
Schmidt No. 1 looked at Lieutenant
Schol. with astonishment
"Why shouldn't he ask you how
your father is coming on?" repeated
Scholz.
"Because," replied Schmidt No. 1,
" it is a little unusual in a sensible per
son to ask after the health of a man
who is dead."
"Dead! ' exclaimed Scholz. "Come,
now, don't joke on that subject My
dear Schmidt there should be no levitv
about a thing of that kind."
" It don't occur to me to joke, but
I cau certainly say that my father is
dead. That Is a mere statement of a
fact"
Lieutenant Scholz's arms dropped by
his side, and he became as pale as did the
sympathetic Braun.
" Then it is true reallv true: but tell
me for God's sake how did it happen?"
"His horse fell on him and broke his
neck. I thought you knew it."
Lieutenant bcholz looked the picture
of despair, and Schmidt gazed at him in
utter amazement"
"My poor, poor friend, said Scholz,
taking both of Schmidt's hands and
shaking them, "may Heaven give you
strength to bear up under this terrible
affliction," and he wiped a mauly tear
away, and oft he went with his head
hanging down.
" Another lunatic,' remarked
Schmidt No. 1 to himself, "or is he
drunk, too? Perhaps it is I who am
loony."
Only a few minutes later the Sergeant
who was drilling the recruits, not ob
serving the old white-haired Lieutenant
Schmidt on the parade ground came up
and in a round about way asked Sckniidt
No. 1 where his father was, that officer
became justly exasperated.
"It is a plot a damnable dot and I
will not stand any such trifling. I am
too old an officer'to be humbugged in
that way. and particularly about the
death of my father. I will go at once
and see Captain Braun about it, for
somebody is going to got hurt if this
Vi'a1icl-inA?a-t it? fb-AWk- tivtn
WII.IUUVO.1 U aVCUli IIU.
Leaving the old officer Schmidt No.
1 to take care of himself for the present,
let us see what his son Lieutenant
Schmidt No. 2 is about He stepped
out of his room dressed in full uniform
and in the best of humor.
A complacent smile was playing upon
his lips. As he sauntered down the
street he met Lieutenant Scholz, who
looked like the nicture of despair.
"Good morning. Scholz, how are you
coming on, my boy? Have you got the
toothache or colic, or has your sweet
heart gone back on you, or what is the
matter with you, anyhow? What
makes you loot so sorrowful this fine
Lieutenant Scholz was almost nara-
lyzed with astonishment at this extra
ordinary conduct of his friend.
" Look here, Schmidt do you know
that I can't understand you, anyhow?"
" hat don't you understand? Are
you surprised that I wonder at your
owl-like appearance as a general thing
you are not so solemn. Let's n and
take breakfast together."
Lieutenant Scholz shook his head as
if the behavior of his, friend was totally
incomprehensible. "I did not suppose
you could be guilty of suck utter heart
lessness." "Heartlessnesa? What do you mean
by that?"
"Well. I should think when a man's
father's dead "
Schmidt No. 2 became as &olemn as a
judge, and in a husky voice, taking
Scholz bv the hands, he "said:
"Oh, i beg your pardon, I did sot
know your father was dead. But I
might have guessed it from your sor
rowful face. Dear friend, forgive me,
and allow me to express my heartfelt
grief at your affliction."
This was a little too much for Scholz.
"Now, Schmidt," he said, angrily,
"j-ou quit your nonsense. You should
be ashamed of yourself to how such
levity. Before your poor father is under
the sod you are joking about his death.
"Your grief, Sholz," replied
Schmidt, "has caused you to confound
your father with, mine"."
"How is that?" '
"My dear friend," replied Schmidt
No. 2, "your father is dead, aotmiae."
"Now, this is too taneh," exclaimed
Scholz, " it is not enough that vou dis
grace your father's memory, but you
even undertake to joke about mine.
My father. God be praised, is quite
healthy. I got a letter from him
yesterday, and if he was dead my sister
would certainly telegraph me."
"Well, then," said Schmidt, "if
your father is not dead what are yoa so
sorrowiui aoout.- '
"About the death of year 'nterr. of
coarse."
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. JUNE 24,
My father!' exclaimed Schmidt.
'Of course. Didn't his horse fall
on him and break his neck?"
Schmidt became as pale as a ghost
" I did not know anything about it;'
said Schmidt. " who told you that?"
" You told me so when I saw you cm
tae paraae ground nan an hour ago.
Schmidt No. 2 looked at Scholz with
a very anxious expression of coua
teaance.
" Do you know. Scholz, that I believe
you are not quite right in your upper
story at times."
"On the contrary, it is you who
have lost your senses. Yon told Cap
tain Braun the same thing about your
father being dead, less than half an
hour ago."
Captain Braun! Why. I have sot
Men him to-day."
"But I have seen him. I met him
when he came from the parade ground,
and his whole beard was full of tears.
He said he saw 'you on the parade
ground and that you told him about the
accident that had happened to your
father."
It was now Schmidt's turn to get
mad.
"I shall see Captain Braun about that
Immediately," said Schmidt No. 2. and
putting his saber under his arm he
strode off in the direction of Captain
Braun's quarters. Old Captain Braun
was sitting in his room. He bad not
recovered, from the terrible shock pro
duced by the news of the death of his
friend. His orderly entered and said
that Lieutenant Schmidt was outside.
"Tell him to come in," said Captain
Braun. The next moment Schmidt No.
2 entered the room. The old soldier
heaved a sigh and advanced to meet
him.
"My poor young friend,' he said,
"this is a sad'blow to us both. It has
completely paralyzed me."
It seemed to have done the same
thing for Schmidt No. 2, but before he
could open his mouth the orderly once
more entered the room. His face was
red, and he seamed to be laboring un
der great excitement.
"Laptain, eutside there is there is
" then he looked at Schmidt No. 2
and his face became redder and redder.
"Well, what is it?" ejaculated Cap
tain Braun.
"Right here! at the door stands
stands " repeated the orderly, and
once more he looked at Schmidt No. 2
with a scared expression of counte
nance. "Can't you talk? Who is outside?"
"Lieutenant Schmidt He would like
to come in."
The Captain and Lieutenant Schmidt
No. 2 looked at each other in a dazed
sort of a way. If Lieutenant Schmidt
was outside' he could nut possibly be
ueau.
"Lieutenant Schmidt No. 2," said the
orderly, looking at the young Lieuten
ant w.th awe.
"What do you mean? Lieutenant
Schmidt No. 2 is iu the room here."
"Ye Yes," teplied the orderly, "but
he is outside there, too."
"Are you crazy?" ejaculated old
Braun, "or have vou been drinking?"
And turning to Schmidt No. 2, he said:
"You are hen? already. You can't well
come a second time, can you?"
Schmidt No. 2 did not know what to
say.
"Tell him to come in," ordered Capt
ain Braun.
The orderly drew up his shoulders
and cast a look towards Heaven, as if
he was going to pray, and stumbling
over ins owu teet. he opened the door.
Lieutenant Schmidt No. 1 entered.
The orderly sneaked iu al-o. He
wanted to see how this thing was going
to end.
"Why, Heavens preserve us! You
are. also. Schmidt No. 2," said Braun.
"How many of you are there?"'
"Captain,- you will excuse me, but
I am Schmidt No. 1."
Old Braun put both hands to his head
to steady his brain, then said: "But
that is not possible. If you were
aciiuuuc jo. i you would Do vour own
father and the "father of Sclim'dt No.
2 also, and even if you are your own
father you are dead, and then you
could not be here. My poor brain
needs a rest"
In the meantime the two lieutenants
looked sharply at each other.
"Father," said the son, "where did
you get all the black hair from?"
"Black hair?" exclaimed the father,
and then looked in the glass; he said:
"WelL who ever heard the like. The
cursed stuff in the bottle is to blame for
this."
Old Captain Braun laughed right out.
"So you have been dyeing your hair,
and for that reason I suppose. I you
were your son, aud asked you what your
father was doing. No wonder vou were
astoNished. It is the best joke of the
season. But you told me your father
was dead. How did you know all this,"
said he, turning to Schmidt No. 2.
"I met Lieutenant Scholz."
"So did I." said old Braun. "Well,
that is a good joke."
And the red-faced orderly so far for
got himself aud military discipline as to
exclaim:
"Ye, that is a good joke." Trans
lated Jrom the German for Texas Sift
ings. a.
The Richest Young Married Man in
Philadelphia.
The richest young married man in
Philadelphia is James P. Scott, son of
the late Thomas A. Scott, President of
the Pennsylvania Railroad Company.
NoboJy knows, however, what he is
worth, because, according to the re
quest of his father, no inventory of his
father's estate has been tiled. His
father was believed, however, by thoso
who were acquainted with his affairs,
to be worth about $1C,000.000. James
P. married the daughter of Mr. Hugh
Davids, a member of an old Philadel
phia family. He has be, towed upon
her the finest diamonds iu Pennsyl
vania, among them a necklace of three
strands worth $100,000. His house is
regarded, next to Vanderbilt's, as the
finest in the United States. Itis valued,
with its contents, at $1,000,000. These
tigures, however, can not convey a true
idea of its splendor, because as com
pared with New York ground in Phila
delphia by reason of the extent of terri
tory, is cheap. The appointments of
the house are exquisite. AttUts and
decorators were brought from Germany
and France for the purpose of beautifv-
'"S'j-'-mwius. iueueco rations anu
appointments of one of the principal
drawing-rooms alone were made at an
expense of $100,000. Philadelphia Cor.
Chicago Tribune.'
It costs the Government $23,000 a
year to fold the speeches Congressmen
and Senators sent out as campaign!
documents. Senators and Hepreseau-1
tives use $63,190 worth of stationery
" jwjm. a tuiuuia ior tne z
or House is paid $900 a year: a
eager t,0. WmAiugtm Pott.
FIRST
National Bank!
COX.XJSSTBXJB. NEB.
Aitaorized Capital,
Paid Ii Capital,
Sarplis aid Profits, -
$250,000
50,000
8,000
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
A. ANDERSON, Prts't.
SAM'L C. S3IITH, Vice Preset.
O. T. ROEN, Cashier.
.. VT. EARLY,
HERMAN OEHLRICH,
W. A. MCALLISTER,
G. ANDERSON,
1 ANDERSON.
Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage
Tickets, ana Real Estate Loans.
2D.voM3.1y
BTJSLMESS CASD8.
D.T. Maktyk, M. D. F. .1. SciiUG, M. D.
Drs. MAETYN & SCHTJG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons.
Local Surgeons. Union Pacific, O., N.
A B. H. and B. & M. R. R's.
Consultations in German and English.
Telephones at office and residences.
grOffice over First National Bank.
COLUMBUS,
NEBRASKA.
42-y
C.
O. EVAZ, HI. D
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
QrOflice and rooms, Gluck building,
Uth street. Telephone communication.
'y
F. P. Rli'i'I ER, III. D
HOMCEOPATKEST.
Chremio Diseases aad Diseases of
Childrem a Specialty.
tSTOftiee on Olive street, three doors
north of Firot National Bank. 'J-ly
TX7" Ifl. CORKEI.1UK,
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE.
Upstair.. Ernst building 11th street.
C.J
GAKLOW, Collection Att'y.
SPECIALTY MADE OF BAD PAPEB.
Office with J. G. Higgins. 31.3m
TT J. HIIUHOf,
NOTAliT PUBLIC.
th Street, i loor west of Hammond Hobm,
Columbus, Neb. 491-y
T . REEDER,
A TTORXE Y AT LA W,
Office on Olive St., Columbus, Nebraska
2-tf
IWO.KEY TO LOAK.
Five years' time, on improved farms
with at feast one-fourth the acreage under
cultivation, in sums representing one.
third the fair value of the homestead.
Correspondence solicited. Address,
M. K.TURNER,
fiO-y Columbus, Nebr.
V. A. MACKEN.
DKALER IN
Foreign and Domestic Liquors and
Ciqars.
Uth street, Columhus, Neb.
50-y
jl rcAI.I.ISTER BROS.,
A TTOIiNEYS A T LA W,
Office up-stairs in
ing. 11th St. XV. A.
Public.
McAllister's build.
McAllister, Notary
JOHN TIMOTHY,
NOTARY PUBLIC AND CONVEYANCER.
Keeps a lull line of stationery and chool
Mtipi'lifs, aud all kinds of legal forms.
Iu-uns a:iint tire, lightning, cvclone
aud tornadoes. Office in Powell'. Block,
Platte Centel. 1'1-x
J. M. MACFARLAND,
Attareiy isi NoUry KlVe.
B. it.
COWDERY,
CsllKisr.
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE
OF
MACFARLAND &
Columbus,
COWDBRy,
Nebraska.
J. J. MAIJC'IIA.-V,
Justice, County Surveyor, Notary.
Land and Collection Agent.
"STPartR-s desiring surveyiug done can
notify me by mail at Platte Centre, Neb.
.I-;ni
P H.RIJSl'HE,
llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel.
Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets. Curry Comh.s, Brushes, trunks,
valise. luiggy tops, cushions, carriage
trimmings, .vc, at the lowest possible
prices. Repairs pn mptly attended to.
TAMEM ALno:J,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
irame or bricK buildings. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near
St. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne
braska. otSCmo.
T II. -LAWRENCE,
DEPUTY COSURVEYOE.
Will do general surveying in Platte
and adjoining counties. Office with S. C.
Smith.
COLUMBUS, - - . XKBRASK.
17-tf
J.
S. MURDOCK & SON,
Csrpenters and Contractors.
Havehad an extended experience, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto ia, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitytoestimateforyou. gfSbop on
13tb St., one door west of Friedhof &
Co's. store. Columbus. Nebr. 483-y
O. C. STTATSrJSTOJSr,
MANUFACTURER OF
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, Boofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
IShop on Olive Street, 2 doors
north of brodfeuhrer's Jewelry Store.
46-y
r W. CLARK
LAND AND INSURANCE AGENT,
HUMPHREY, NEBR.
His lands comprise some fine tracts
in the Shell Creek Valley, and the north
ern portion ot Platte county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. Satisfaction
guaranteed. 20 j
1885.
SMUQMUGGCRV
Tlw AtouUliIug- Chaa:i XV tile U iltjf
from Kemoval or Beard and MuaUcUe.
A wave of smtigmuggery is engmting
the land. To those who do not know
what the scientific terra smugmuggery
means, I might explain that, it refers to
those who transform themselves iuto
smugwumps by sharing off their whisk
ers and mustaches. It is a barber's
boom or boon, rather. The result of
this freak of fashion is that whiskers
and mustache are disappearing with a
rapidity that is bewildering. A, per
son pas-es his best friend and fails to
recognizo him all on account of his
smugmug.
I dasire to point out some of the dis
asters that have occurred through the
slavish following of th's new fashion. I
don't suppose that I shall be able to'
cheek this growing evil, but the in
stances that have come to my knowl
edge may serve as a waraiug to some'
who have not yet become smugwumps.
There was John (r. Stiver, for in
stance. Stivers wore a long, black'
beard topped by a mustache, and you
doubtless have noticed when you spoke
to h:m ab ut anything that he hud the
habit of strik'nif his long, black heard
slowly in a way fiat certainly left the
impression that Stivers was a deep a
very deep - thinker. 1 know that was
the effect it had on me. I remember a
few weeks ago meeting him, saying:
"Well, Mr. Stivers, looks as if we 'were
going to have a Russian war?"
stivers stroked his beard thought
fully, and said:
"Yes, it looks that way. But '
well, you wait a few days."
"Now," said I to mys'elf as I left him,
"there's a man who has .studied the
Afghan matter in all its bearings. No
flippant opinion there:"
"Well, of course you've seen Stivers
since he shaved! The weak, irresolute
mouth and receding chiu is now in full
view. I happen to know that in a very
short time he was to have been taken in
as a partner in the house of Heady,
Made & Co., the clothiers, whose con
fidential clerk he has leen for so many
years manager I might say. Now he
thinks his whole trouble arises from tho
fact that, when he went into the estab
lishment just after shaving Mr. Made
approached him smilingly and said:
"Anything we can ihow you to-day,
sir?" Of course it made a big laugh
wheu the clerks saw that old Made had
been trying to sell somethiug to his own
manager, but that was not the trouble.
Mr. Keady himself told me that it as
tonished him to think they had ever
sought the advice of such a man, and of
course now any mistakes that had hap
pened in over purchase and that sort of
thing were laid to the charge of Stivers'
suggestions. Now he is out of employ
ment, aud no one ever prelixes tho
"Mr." to his name. It is pitiful to
see the way his hand wanders aimlessly
around his smooth face searching for
the lost beard.
Then there was Dr. Schuyler Brown.
He saw his mistake in time, and has
left the city till his beard grows on
agaiu. His patients positively refused
to be prescribed for by so boyish a look
ing man. By the tun.? lie lo-t hall Ins
practice the facts of the case dawned on
him, and his leaving will doubtlesi
bring back patients and beard.
I see by the papers that Mrs. Simp
kins Calendar has got her divorce from
poor Simpkins. Of course tlio very
sight of his smuginug in court was
enough to turn the case against him.
Simpkins wasn't a bad-looking fellow
when bearded like a pafd, but the
transformation was something awful
!Why the man was idiotio enough to
shave is a mystery to his friends. Ho
ought to have remembered how he
looked without a beard.
The fashion spares neither old nor
young, l met old John Mortimer yes-
terdav out for the hrst time in three
weeks, and he looked haggard with the
gray stubble of a three "weeks' growth
ou his face. I think it served John
right I told him a immth ago that
that brutal doj would kill somebody
yet; but Mortimer thought because the
dog knew him it was all right It was
useless to tell old Mortimer that the
bruU" had selected samples of the cloth
ing of every friend that had the cour
age to call at the house. Wheu the old
man came home that night shaved
smooth the dog did not recognize him,
and so kept him up the tree in the front
yard "till Mrs. Mortimer and young
John came home from the singing
meeting. Young John would have
bro.ight him down from the tree with
his revolver, t o, if he had had it with
him, for the old man was so hoarse with
shouting that he could not speak above
a whisper, and they thought he was a
treed tramp.
It Is rather curious how the scar on
the upper lip of that McAdam who was
arrested lat week for the Chicago de
falcation led io his
being identified.
No one was moie astonished
than
Brown- Brown said he would have
trusted him "with any amount The
case has been so fully reported in the
papers that it Ls needless for one to go
over it. Seems to me McAdam would
rather have consulted safety than fash
ion. His mu-tache will have a chauce
to grow before he is at liberty to select
his own barber again.
You might have noticed in the society
columns some weeks ago that youn"'
Froman was engaged to Stiin-on Jones
oldest Well, thai match is oft. Came
off with Froman's beard. She said she
had no idea the corners of his mouth
jeopardized his ears toauch an extent.
She never dared say anything funny
fo fear he would smile." Finally the
match was broken 'off. She couldn't
stand that mouth.
Of course the above instances are
well kuowu; otherwise 1 would not
mention them. It shows the surprising
effect of smugmuggery. Let the j'oung
men of this country think twice before
they smug their mugs. Anti Smug mug,
in Detroit Free Press.
An Easy Sentence.
"You are charged with bigamy," re
marked the Judge, impressively, while
the prisoner glanced over his shoulder
at three stern-visaged women.
"Now, continued the Court. "I intend
to give vou the severest penalty the law
allows."
Here the prisoner covered his face
With his hands and wept
"I shall sentence you to State Prison
for twenty vears. What are you grin
ning at?" '
"I thought," smiled the prisoner
through his tears, "you was a-going to
turn me loose." N. Y. Graphic.
Fogg" Brownington is haying a
hard time of it He lost his leg. you
know, a year or two ago, and now he
has had to have his foot amputated."
Fenderson "So? Hope 'twa9n't the
foot on the other leg; that would be
Ty serious." Boston Transcript.
WHOLE NO. 789.
COSTA RICA.
A Brtf Description or tha Capital f the
Republic.
There is a little Protestant chapel
here supported by the English and
American residents, the only place of
worship the Commission has seen in
Central or South America not under
the control of the Roman Church. It
recoives no aid from any foreign mis
sionary society, but is entirely self
supporting, having about sixty mem
bers of the congregation, half as many
communicants and about twenty-five
children in the Sunday school. "This
chapel has been established nearly
twenty years, but has "had an ordained
minister but little of that time, the lay
members conducting the service after
the Episcopal formula, and reading
sermons. Last Sabbath we heard an
excellent sermon from Rev. Phillips
Brooks, of Boston, on the text. "I
am the light of the world." and the
Sabbath before Mr. Spurgeon preached
for us.
There was a pastor here a year ago,
antl remained some time, but he was a
straggler, and the people knew little of
Dim. and did not like him much. He
was a Salvation Armv sort of a fellow.
and introduced some antics into the
service and the Sunday school which
caused his dismissal. There are repre
sentatives of live different denomina
tions in this littlegathering: Church of
England. Protestant Episcopalians,
Presbyterians. Methodists and Baptists.
but they dwell together in unity, and
prefer to read printed sermons tb each
other than have such a preacher as their
limited means would secure them. Occa
sionally some wandering clerical tour
ist comes here, and oftener a chaplain
from a man-of-war, when babies are
baptized, marriages are celebrated, and
the communion service performed.
But I started to tell about the capital
of Costa Rica. It is like all Spanish
American cities, the houses all being
built upon the same plan, four square
dead walls, with windowless rooms
opening upon a central square or
patio." in which there is usually a
fountain and a few beautiful Howers.
Bi. .speaking of flowers, uowhere have
we found such variety and such luxuri
ance. One would think there could
not be so many, so beautiful and o
fragrant. All the rare plants whose
stunted limbs struggle for life in the
northern hot-houses and botanical gar
dens, are here in native glory and pro
f useness. Tuberoses are as common as
currant bushes in a New England gar
den, camclias are as common as roses,
and the jassaminc, both yellow aud
white, grows as plentifully as the
dandelion of our northern pastures.
The orchid, which is regarded as the
rarest of tropical plants, clings to
every tree, and the great scarlet pas
sion flower nods from the hedges. The
"Eapiritu Santos" lily (the lily of the
Holy G'iost), so called from its resem
blance to a white dove, is found in the
swamps and jungles, and is, I think,
the loveliest flower we have seen.
There is another, not so beautiful but
more remarkable, called the "turnsol"
(turned by the sun) which is always a
white as snow in the morning," but
turns blood red during the day. At
night it bleaches out again, and so
changes color with every passing day.
There is a vine. too. in the forests
which Nature in her wisdom has placed
where water is never found, but which,
when cut by a knife, will furnish the
thirsty traveler as pure and sweet a
liquid as ever bathed a throat. San
Jose, Costa Rica, Cor. Chicago Inter
Ocean. AN AFRICAN POTENTATE.
VUIt to King-Mankuroane and If U Kraal In
Bechuanaland.
Yesterday afternoon so soon as our
midday meal was over, I started oil
with a friend to explore the kraal. It
was a two mile walk, and all the heat
of the sun centered on the earth at this
hour. Arriving at the outskirts, we
determined first to go and pay King
Mankoroane, the qhief or king of the
tribe, a visit, whose place we found
without difficulty a common, large
hut made of mud plastered together
with brushwood and reeds, and coarsely
thatched on the roof. The eaves pro
jected over the walls about three feet,
so that a verandah was formed around
the hut. The entrance was through a
yard which surrounded the hut, with a
wall of brushwood seven feet high.
There was only one doorway, into
which we entered on a smooth vard of
red clay. Here, with their ba'cks to
the wall, sat some men, probably the
king's body-guard. They were all more
or less dressed, having trousers patched
with every conceivable color and ma
terial, some witn nats. otners old gov
ernment helmets. We walked into the
hut, whieh was divided in two by a
low wall. The inside was lined with
gray clay, and 'quaint figures and de
vices were made on it. Opposite the
door and close to the inside wall lay a
man on a couch with a folded-up shawl
under his head. He had on a red flan
nel shirt, blue coat, yen- old cord
trousers and boots with cloth tops, but
no socks. He was the kinsr. At his
head sat another person, the queen, sit
ting like a sailor, naked to her waist.
She had a quantity of beads round
her neck of different colors, from
which himsr charms and such useful
articles as keys. The king was sound
asleep, but the queen and attendents
were wide awake. The smell and bad
air were intolerable. Round against
the wall sat his two princesses, or
daughters. Then two men smoking.
Not one of them took the slightest
notice of us. At last I addressed the
queen, and wished her all the com
pliments of the season. All then be
gan to talk except the king, who sat
still asleep. To keep them company I
took up the chorus of an old song.
They seemed delighted at this, so!
gave it them again, lauhin? violentlv
all the time, my friend imploring me
to keep quiet lest I should wake the
king and incur his wrath: but he did
not wake. We then offered the queen
cigarettes, and the princessess, and
the two men. The nearest princess
chewed her cigarette. After sitting
most of an hou'c we got up to go, and
I nearly fell over a black baby lying on
the floor, which yelled and "woke the
king. Up he jumped and greeted us
most warmly, shaking hands and ask
ing baco,' "and also 'shillin." I gave
him a cigarette, which he forthwith lit
up, imploring rae to give him a shilling.
I took out my purse and turned it uS-
side down, and out dropped a piece of
money for which both the princesses,
the queen, and all the courtiers
scrambled. One of the princesses
secured it, and held it up laughing.
We then left saying Good-bye,' to
which they responded civilly. Cer.
London Tine.
advsrtislas;, aee
v r3TAii advertisements payable
monthly.
PERSONAL
AND LITERARY.
Ex-Goveruor, Sprague. of Rhode
Island, ii how in business in the City of
Mexico. N s
Mr. George H. Peadletoa'e father
was Hamilton s second in the fatal duel
with Aaroa Burr. s
Mr. Samuel L, Clement ("Mark
Twain") will remain in his own coun
try this season. The rumor of. his Ea
glish trip is unfounded.. .
Mrs. George 1L Peadletoa j was
Alice Key. a daughter of Francis Scott
Key. the author of the "Star Spangled
Banner," and a niece of Chief Justice
Taney. x
Rev. Dr. Ireneus Prime, editorof
v
iuc iH-w lorit uoeri:cr, ceieorateu laa
forty-fifth anniversary of his coaaeutiea
with that paper by giving a luacheeaia
the editorial rooms.
The eldest son of Mr. Walter, of the
London Times, was drowned in a poad
iu his father's park just after his return
from this country. The eldest by ,his
second marriage'died lately in Califor
nia. At the Nob Hill residence of Sen
ator Stanford, iu San Fraucisco. are lit
teeu pictures of his doad son. eight of
which are by Bonnot. of Paris, and
twice life size" The portraits cost KX
000. Franz Abt. the German composer,
who died recently, was well known ia
this couutry, uot July through his songs,
but personally, as he visited Araericia
187:2 at the invitation of several of our
leading vocal societies. He was sixty
six ears old.
Mark Twain s said to hare cleared
thirty-live thousand dollars from his
reading-tour this season. This is doubs
less the largest sum ever realized by en
author, from readings of his own wruV
insrs. since Dickens made his famous
American tour. Current.
"Hoopness," an Indian who died
ret eitly on the Rancho Chico in Cali
fornia, was one hundred aud thLty
year-, old. He never knew the vear in
which he was born, but bv calculatiui
uaca. to um- "moons mat he remem
bered his age was placed at the above
figures. Tnere are old utt-a .'n the tribe
now who can recollect t.fty years back,
and at that time the age of "Hoopness'
was plated at eighty years.- S.tn Fran
cisco Chronicle.
American heirc.-es seuui to have a
penchant fur Italian noblemen. In ad
dition to Mi. Maekay. the leading
names on the list cumprisc Miss Fieli
Princess Brancm cto: Miss Lorillard
Spencer. Prince-s Vlearara Cenci; Miss
Broadwood. Prince. Riiapolli: Miss
Conrad. Marches Teodoli; Miss Kin
ney. Countess Gr.iuotti; MUs Fisuer.
Countess Gherarde ca: Miss Roberts,
Countcs Galli; Mis Fry. Marchess
Torrogiani: Miss Lewis, Couutes I'ar
iMiliui Auindci; Miss Gillinder. Marchesa
di Sau Marzarno, and Mis Hunger
ford. Countess Telfen.-r. -A'. Y. Sun.
HUMOROUS.
"My .on. why is it that you are
always behindhand with your .studies?"
"Because, otherwise I could not pursue
them." -Golden Days.
"Only a mutch box." remarked
Fogg at the theat r the oth-r night,
referring Io the seals where the young
lover sat. - lUnluu Tra nicr.pt.
--Dubuque Conservatory g-rls carry
noon lunch in a music-roll. It must
sym-phonv to see them at their huugur
i:ui rnapodie. i'hintgo Tribune.
-"I have a larg. dude trade." said
the barlier. "And don't vour employes
find any taiill about their wasres?"
asked the other barber. "Certainly
uot. Why should they? ' Beciii-e if
you have a large dude" trade you mint
constantly be cutting down."' UoHon
Courier.
" How Love Is Made in Persia." is
the title of a recent art cle. It i? prob
ably made there of the anie compo
nent paits as here, that is. in lliouaire's
daughter one part, impcunious noble
man one part, ties re for title forty-ninu
pans, desire for wealth, fortv-uiuo
pans. Miv. Union I'oit.
.. paieui uas ie,-n granieu lor an
automatic lire-lighter. You wind it up,
set it any hour you pie ise. aud when
you or your wile rat er j;m;s down
stairs, the lah-!.ct:le i. merrilv
.sillying.
Some person iu tv
hjeot that it dot;.u t
prepare the bre.kfat and pay the b 11
for fuel, but it is uipo s hi to uloxx
everybody. Vorri ttmi-t Ihru'd.
"I am .rry. darling, that you are
disp!eae.l wit.i m 1m then you know
I can not help it. I am ;.n euiotioii.d
it." "Well. then. I certainly a:i not
inarr.- you. George." Why i.ut.
"Well, you knoi urfectlv well that my
parents would t.e.er consent to mv
marry n any on.; but a Muth-i l:r.'1
and then he"vrieJ. -A. Y. Grau'n, .
"I suppose I sha 1 be au old maid
all my life, sigh -d a young w-iu m of
twentv-tive. "Trial's a irue mils coiu-
pla nt." responded an old b.itcli.-lor.
Very." again sighed th niaMcu. "Do
you want to cure it'" "Of c.-un-e I do."
"Take me foa husband- "I.'o voa
mean it?" "Certainly." "Well, des
perate dic.ae, reipiir de-pcrutc reme
dies, and I gu.'. I'll try you.' They
fell upon each other neeks. Mer.-hailt
Traveler.
"I protest!" evelaiined die new
jour, barber, as the gentleman from
the Kmcrald Isle d opr! into th o,-r-ating
chair: "I dra v the line righ: h re.
I in wli'ng to in lather. I.ui hang me
if I'll lather tiiickt.. It was fearc.l hat
the Hibernian would r.uor row t.Vu and
there, and whiker arotiud a shTelah.
perhap: but as the jour, harlier was a
strapping fellow the exile from Krin had
to hone that the joke was a good one.
Xet us soap that all uuarrels may en'd
before they have ljegun. Lurlington
Hawkcyc.
m a a.
Economical Habits.
The economical habits of the Heathen
Chinee are notorious, and they are well
illustrated by a correspondent who,
writing from Tien-Taiu. says: "The
Chinese infantry soldier is paid once a
month, when he receives .' 1 tads of Oli
ver. This sum, which ia equal to about
$4.75, i given to him iu ,crap bullion:,
and during the night aud each day the
paymasters arc busily engaged io
weighing out siher and making it up
into neat little packages for distribution.
As soon as he has obtaiuvd his share the
soldier takes it t: the nearest shop
keeper or money changer, who. in re
turn for it, hands him 3JAJ) copper
cash, the aggregate weight of which is
quite as much as he can conviently car
ry. Out of this the soldier has to" keep
himself in food and clothing, and the
pay can not, therefore, be-called exces
sive. A Chinaman, however, lives al
most exclusively upon rice, a month's
supply of which costs a good deal less
than 1.000 cash, and many a private not
only supports a family upon the bal
ance of his earnings, but puts hy a aUla
dred cash evexj month."
BaTTor transient
rates on third page.
o
L?-. -
ojty