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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1885)
TKBINC;. J 6 A THE JOUBNAL. ISSUED EVXEY WEDNK8DAY, M. K. TTJRJSrER. & CO. Proprietor! aid Publishers . OFFICE, Eleventh St., vp f tain in Journal Building. terms: Per year Six months Three months ... Single copies.... . 1' COLUMBUS STATE BANK! COLUMBUS, XEB. CASH CAPITAL, - $75,000 DIRECTORS: Leandek Geebabd, Pres't. Geo. W- IIulst, Vice Pres't. Julius A. Reed. K. H. Henry J. E. Tasker, Cashier. Bm.mlL of Deposit DUcH aad Excaaage. Cellectleas Promptly Wade ob all Potato. Pay Iatereat oa Time Depos it. 2? HENRY G-ASS, XJ3STDEHT AXEB ! COFFINS AND METALLIC CASES AND DEALER IX Furniture, Chairs, Bedsteads, Bu reaus, Tables, Safes. Lounges, &c, Picture Frames and Mouldings. XSTliepttiring of all kinds of Upholstery Qoodt. C-tf COLUMBUS, NEB. HENRY LITERS, DEALER IN WIND MILLS, AND PUMPS. Buckeye Mower, combined, Self Binder, wire or twine. Pumps Repaired on short notice BSrOne door west of Heintz's Drug Store, 11th Street, Columbus, Neb. 8 TTTjIT T)for working people. Send 10 H Hi I i Kcents postage, and we will -U-J-l-LJ J- man you free, a royal, val uable haniplc box of goods that will put you in the way of making more money in a few days than you ever thought pos sible at any business. Capital not re quired. You can live at home and work in spare time only, or all the time. All of both sexes, of all ages, grandly suc cessful. 50 cents to $5 easily earned every eveniug. That all who want work may test the business, we mak this un paralleled offer: To all who are not well satisfied we will send $1 to pay for the trouble of writing us. Full particulars, directions, etc., sent free, immense pay absolutely sure for all who start at once, Don't delay. Address Stinson & Co., Portland, Maine. lJP'X 31. JL. FOWLER, ARCHITECT, -1505 Funa St., OMAHA, NXB. PLANS AND SPECIFICATIONS FURNISHED for all kinds of Public Buildings and Private Dwellings. Architect of "Willard Block, Child's Hospital, Residence of Hon. J. M. Thurston, Residence of Hon. John I. Redick, Omaha: Residence of Hon. Q. "W. E. Dorsey, Masonic Hall, Fremont, Neb; Residence of C. C. Crow ell. Esq., First National Bank, Blair, Neb; Residence of Thos. Bryant, First National Bank, Schuyler, Neb., and ma ny others. 43-m6 A WORD OF WARNING. FARMERS, stock raisers, and all other interested parties will do well to remember that the "Western Horse .and Cattle Insurance Co." of Omaha is the only company doing business in this state that Insures Horses, Mules and Cattle against loss by theft, accidents, diseases, or injury, (as also against loss by fire and lightning). All representations by agents of other Companies to the contrary not withstanding. P. W. HENRICH, Special Ag't. 15-y Columbus, Neb. NO HUMBUG! But a Grand Success. RP. BRIGHAM'S AUTOMATIC WA- ter Trough for stock. He refers to every man who has It in use. Call on or leave orders at George Yale's, opposite Oehlrich's grocery. 9-6m rpRANSIT HOUSE, PLATTE CENTER NKB., J0H5 BrGGA5, Proprietor. The best accommodation for the trayel ing public guaranteed. Food good, and plenty of it. Beds clean and comfortable, charges low, as the lewest. 33-y A PRIZE. Send six cents for postage,and receive tree, a costly dox oi goods which will help you to more money right away than anything else in this world. All, of either sex, succeed frera Irst hour. The broad road to fortune opens before the workers, absolutely ure. At once address, Truk A Co., Augusta, Maine. LYON&HEALY a Hears Sts.. ! mU to UT m&inm lUt . AWBHCATAIJtKJ Mr no, w r? . ItMruaiat l. bautru. Dmi MumH ISufc ui SoaJrr Bb4 Ostfcto. ih. b la3sMB laanrdMi aa4 fCkfeBu4Mat fvAKlHTlkl gR At RRiaRMasaaT Jfc-ffl State Chlcafe.awuR A- f asdn H yytfaiw fffaaMH mm vol. xY,-m. m, "HAVENT TIME." A. W riso Iteratlsa WUeh Smiei m PerUaeat Ittqulrj. No matter how reasonable and im portant the thing you ask your friend or neighbor to do, ten chances to one she will answer, "Haven't time. Would like to ever so .much; nothing would please me better; but, positively, I haven't time." The veriest dawdler or do nothing, male or female, will chant the same refrain in your ears. "Haven't time," until you learn to ex peot it like an echo. So by and by it naturally occurs to a reflective mind to wonder what has become of all the time. People used to have plenty of it for everything they wanted to accom plish, and st:ll be at a loss for some thing to do for pastime. But to-day the man or woman who has time, really has plenty of it and to spare, strikes one as a relic of by-gone times one who has outlived his generation, as it were, and now stands alone among strangers; at least such was our im- Sression on discovering .one of these in ividuals not long sinoe. A woman neither young nor old, nor yet hand-. some nor homely, sat in a plain but comfortable room, applying herself most industriously to knit ting threads into lace, each yard of which would require probably a day and a half to finish. After expres sing our wonder, to say nothing of the disgust we felt at the woman's ta- tience in this work, we inquired what it was intended to adorn. "O, nothing in particular." she replied. "I don't know what Til do with it I'm only making it to kill time." Wonder gave dace to amazement It had been so ong since we had heard any one own up to having time enough for any thing, that our look became a stare and the woman appeared anxious on our account We explained as best we could, to make the situation endur able, but really we haven't yet ceased to wonder at her. That things have changed sinco the good old time when almost every one had leisure, is cer tain. We have invented machines that do the work in doors and out in less than half the time it could be 'done without them, but indoors aj least we have also invented' work ter the machines todo, that, just, a little 'more than fill "up the half rtfine say and so we have grown' busy and i still busier, until we haven't time for; a good easy breath more than once a week;' and not then if obliged to superintend the get ting of three meals a day Sunday, and an extra Dig meal at that xnis pre cludes the possibility of woman's one chance for a full, deep breath,, and she must content herself with breathing half way to her waist without hope of a change for. the better. To be. sure she won't live out half her days, and can't "be worth much while she does live. But she thinks she might as well be altogether out of the world as out of the fashion, and since Mrs. Tom, Dick and Harry do thus, and so her fate is fixed. It is really unalterable, or might she not help herself' if' she would? Who made her neighbors her mttern? And who obliges ner to foll ow blindly every senseless course they may choose to walk in? The fact is we need to cultivate a spirit of self, dependence that will en aisle us to adjust our domestic affairs with reference to the happiness and convenience of ourselves and family without any reference whatever to who may think what There is entirely too much plate-glass front to American houses. We seem to thirst for notoriety,- without much regard ' as'tothe kind we receive. There is .not another civilized .nation in existence but seems to regard the home and horned life as something sacred; and -whilowe are convinced that in this 6ry matter of homes we have the sweetest, -purest and happiest the .world, affords, , w'e-r do feel that we should imitate the example of others in this particular. .The habit we have of living out of doors and parading our domestic affairs before strangers, not only detracts from the dignity of home-life, but tends to foster an artificial 'manner of living that chokes all'ihe heart out of the home. AgaiuT couhTwe'but do laway with this custom of .advertising every particular of our w living, we should cease to care for anything be iyond that which conduces to the high est good of the inmates of the home; and what superfluities such a reforma tion would cut off! And what time and time we should have left for mental improvements, and companionship with 'husband and children. For verily, whether we realize it or not my dear sister, this is what becomes of the bulk of our time. And we may save many an hour from wearying, useless drudg ery to devote to the moral- training and happiness of our families, by simply daring to order our homes after our own notions, regardless of our neighbors -or anyone-else outside of our own foursquare walls? i?urim7 ton Hawkeve. ROLLER-SKATING. The Sad Experience of a Humorist, i Da cribed By Himself. How I looked back to those joyous t t iTrZfd hangings." They have bought, with I awakened this morning, bowed down ..f Za i- J - w with a car-load oi sad experience ac quired at that confounded rink, and wondered if it were possible that the awkward individual who busted up that roller-skatorial 'gathering last night could have been represented by me, who urmy boyhood's happy hours used to "cut -the figure .8".' do "spread eagles." and all that sort of thing upon the ice, while gliding a graceful glode with steel-runners fastened to my frisky feet until I was the "''observed of all observers. t But these sundry contusions andya rious sprains on my weary 'frame, as I lie here in bed, convince me, on second thought that the le transmogrification place, and instead of did actually take ' being the bright particular star of the evening, as I fondly -expected when I made up my mind to tackle roller-skating for the first time,' I really blossomed out instead as a clumsy chump in the highest degree! - . To elucidate: My wife is an adept with rollers; and as I had been bragging about the way I used to excel allmy playmates -and mash all the girls with my phenomenal statistical curves upon the glairy sur face of the frozen, -rivers, (long years before I met my "better half,!' of course) sne bantered me to don those new-fangled four-wheeled abortions on skates, at the rink. ' ' ' "Why. certainly my dear," said I, .posmpoasly; "the principle of skating is alwavs the same, whether on reamers or wheels. -L'lL show you, this tsit ataht, now to skim warn a siauaae slide ?- in and out among the circling throng to perfection." So I unconsciously went to mv fate: Mrs. Joslyn complained of indisposi tion when we arrived at the place of my disgrace, and said, she would sit u on the raised seats and look at me skate for awhile, before she joined me in the pastime. (Perfidious woman! as she rubs the arnica on my flesh-denuded cheek-bone at th's moment, there is a merry twinkle in her eye that tells me she anticipated my discomfiture at the time of her refusal, and wanted to be where she could get a good view of my sprawling antics de Acrobatique! Well, to make a long story short, I strapped on those treacherous wooden contrivances, and started off with a confident "wateh-me-while-I-do-some-thing-pretty" air. 1 launched out with the old familiar outward stroke, intending at the com pletion of same to poise myself in a statuesque manner on the tip of one foot turn around quickly, then drop lightly on the other, and proceed on my sylph-like way. This was a favor ite trick of mine, when performing be fore an admiring crowd during my icy skatorial youth, and, as the saying is, it always, "brought down the house." On this momentous occasion, howev er, it "brought down" the giddy gy rator! I wasn't aware that roller-skates required & peculiar inward twist in striking out and the consequence was my feet became entangled, and I igno miniously plumpec forward on my face! My sharp nose made a savage at tempt to bore a hole through the smooth hard-wood floor, but failed and when they pioked me up, that bloody feature resembled a flattened copper placed on the track beneath a passing railway train! I was propped up in a corner and left to recuperate. My wife was invis ible to me, but I've no doubt now but that she was posted in some advan tageous place where she was taking in jnj misery with delight While pull ing out my proboscis to its proper ai mensions, I studied the philosophy of the rollers, and soon essayed to again mix in with the other skaters. I managed to shuffle along passably well for a few yards, when a corpulent dame came sailing around a curve at a mile-a-minute rate, ran into me, and knocked my heels out from beneath me; then, my body describing a back ward areola through the air my arms and legs vainly pawing and kicking holes in the atmosphere I landed on the rear part ef my head, after turn ing a complete somersault and a half! More dead than alive, I gamely struggled to my feet to give another trial. I had about made up my mind by this time, though, that I wasn't an artist at this style of skating, as 1 had heard divers remarks from disgusted habitues of the rink, on this order: "Wlio tsthat gawky auffer?" "Get on to his slim jags doing the fall act!" "Why don't the bungling green-horn keep out of the way?" "Give that lubberly calf more rope!" etc., etc., etc. Dripping with perspiration, panting from the unwonted exertion, my clothes torn, and bleeding from numberless cuts, I still persevered, alternately gliding on my pedals, and then on my ear or base of my spine, until I finally shot up bumperty-bump amongst a, group of eigb. tor ten dudes and dudines, and upset them in an indescribable mass all upon my attenuated and brajsed-up body! ! That settled me! Mrs. Joslyn showed up then, and I was carted off home on a stretcher, while, if I ever attempt to fill my help meet's ear again with a single story as regards my former prowess many thing or endeavor to ventilate my superior wisdom in any manner, if one refer ence by her to my inglorious skatorial fizzle at the rink donYt make me sim mer down at once, she has my full per mission now (as she patohes me up with court-plaster, etc.,) to club me with a stick of cord-wood 'till she be comes "all out of brsethe!" Therefore, I expect to be a hen pecked husband from this day forth! Job never was afflicted with roller skating! If he had been, he would have "thrown up the sponge" a beaten man in the beginning, instead of patiently waiting to successfully run the gaunt let of boils and other festive Visitations, which the Good Book tells us he did do! For treat big cass-words te lasplre For racking pains and wounds most dire For laming- powers for breaking pates I recommend those roller skates! Jef. Joslyn, in the Judge. - AN ERA OF GIMCRACKS. The Sort or Neat That Newly-Mated Pairs lit Vp la a. Crowded Towa. I have been up town lately, visiting a pretty friend of mine, whose husband has a salary of $5,000 a year, and how jolly comfortable they 'might be on it if they -were not permeated with the principles of this era of rot They have established themselves in a-stock apartment house, wheqp liveried ser vants tend, the door and- run the eleva tor. The light of heaven reaches them through stained glass and it falls in sickly greens and purples on tesselated floors. They hive in a series of closets, the smallest of them being the bed room. But .they have no end of drapery no discrimination and loss taste, a lot of pictures real Daubinas. They are wonderfully framed, but the frames are already opening in every corner. They stand on fancy easels, and the veneers are peeling off and sticking out like so many onion skins. There is no end of silver-plating oh the -open grates and the doors of the establishment; -but my friend.- being of a neat turn, has polished it so thoroughly that, after six months' occupancy, the silver is all off and streaky black takes its place. The house itself has been built perhaps two years," and a mors aaaebuy-pat to gether edincejbesurtjefmaii never con ceived and hand of .man never put up. In three more years it will be a warped, dismantled wreck. The blamed little ginger-bread decorauo off, it is tarnishing whi r-bread decorations are dropping ere it's metaTand cracking where it's painted, .Y. T. Mirror. ' " Editors are known to be, as a class, extremely-wealthy, yet the editor of the Dawson (Gal) Journal frankly acknowledges that "it fills us through and through, thoroughly, and over whelmingly, when a friend - reaches his hand 'out -to us -and when we gently clasp it and flad two great Wg silver dollars stioking to oar hand. Irs electrifying. It's goL" r The Nevada gold-eeekers have cevered.anew use xor fowls. are picked,' and, being hungry, hegm ,io scraccn ana ens. .oxter tnreeor days' honest toil they are killed the craws examined for cold. Asa as 98 has been foand in one craw. Stm Fremcism AUa. mwmm COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. APEIL 8, OF OENERAL INTEREST. A machine for moistening postafv tamp Is the latest Frogs, snakes and lizards thrire a elevations of over fifteen uousami feet The Boston Herald rediots thaj the Huh will have a population of one million in 1900. There' are now nearly seven mfllien children in the United States who do mot know their letters. Chicago Herald. Josh Billings says he has discov ered that there is one thing that can be said of dyspepsia it makes a man forget all his other sorrows. An advertisement an not reach the general public so surely and effec tually in any other way as through the columns of a newspaper that is widely read and trusted. Exchange. A new rose, possessed of manifold attractions, perfect in form and color, unequaled in fragrance, hardy in habit and a perpetual bloomer, has been named by its originator "The American Beauty.1' ' The town of Westboro, Mass., did not have a fire during the year 1884. The fire department was called out once to put out a fire in a freight-car en route through the town, which was topped for the purpose. A juror at Cumberland, Md., the other day hung his ooat over one of the heaters in the court-room. When he put it on after adjournment he dis covered that some apples he had in his pockets were roasted. Baltimore Sun. An earthquake shook travels about twenty-five miles a minute through hard substances, but soft substances, such as sand and gravel, or clay, retard its rate of progress, and, of course, in water it gets on much slower stilL Chicago Times, A Georgia negro, named Gabe Walker, tired, of sowing his bachelor wild oats, married the other day at the age of ninety-five. "Gabe's" father lived to be one hundred and ten and was in a fair way to live forever when a wagon ran over him. Perhaps no association has done so much toward enlightening the pub lic mind in reference to the condition of the prisons in the United States and the necessity for some general improve ment in their management as the National Prison Association. Chicago Inter Ocean. In Brooklyn recently an old man was arrested for begging, but at the hearing it was explained by the daugh ter that he was possessed of a religious mania and gave what he realized from begging to some needy institution or dropped it into the poor box at church. Brooklyn Eagle. On Cape Cod and in many districts along the New England coast it is ifirmly beiieed that a sick man can not die until the ebb tide begins to run. Watchers by beds of siokness anxious ly note the change of the tides, and if the patient lives until the flood begins to set in again he will live until the next ebb. Boston Transcript. . It seems that Japanese prison man agement is rather ahead of ours. A largo variety of trades are taught in the prisons, such'as tailoring, cooking, type-setting, printing, book-binding, snoemaxing, porcelain and painting. The prisoners have an allowance of three cents a day and fifty cents a week put to their credit and paid to them on their discharge. Boston Herald. Those learned editors who are writing about "dynamiteurs" and "dy namitards" ought to be taught that an English word is better for their readers than a foreign one, and that "dyna miters" is good enough to describe the new class of cowardly criminals. Why Irishmen operating in England should be described by French words in Amer ican papers can not be explained. Philadelphia Btdletin. An exchange says that under the laws of Pennsylvania bakers can not, .by law, collect a biM for the sale of bread; that all bread shall be sold by the pound; that bread scales shall be kept on the counter or in some con spicuous place in all bakeries; that ua less the bread be weighed the sale is illegal and the seller liable to a fine of ten aouars ana costs xor each onense, and that half of this sum shall go to the informer. One night Admiral, then Commo dore, De Horsey, returning from a dinner party in Jamaica, was chal lenged by a sentry and asked for the counter-sign. He could not give it and rather pompously said: "Stand aside, fellow, and let me pass. I am Captain De Horsey." To whioh the sentry replied: "Captin De Horsey? CaptinDe Donkey. Go in de box." The sentry would not he placated, and into the box the officer went to remain until the relief guara liberated him. Two bright citizens of Covington. Tenn., who were impecunious but thrifty, bet two hundred thousand dol lars on the last eleotion. and deposited two large bundles in the safe of the local bank to pay the wager. On the strength of this they bought large stocks of goods, one of them married a wealthy widow and the other was elected treasurer of a rolling-mill. After the election it was found that the bundles were composed of writing paper, with fifty dollar notes on the outside only. Puck. It is stated in Descriptive America, whieh is devoted to Florida, that the rearing of live stock is becoming in .that State an increasing source of profit and assuming a magnitude alto gether unexpected. It is also noted .tnat manufactures are increasing. Ev idently Florida is rapidly becoming something more than a mere sani tarium. If investors find if. profitable to operate mills and te raise cattle and to do business (here as in other States, and to enjoy the climatic comforts of the land ef flowers at the same time, Florida ought to become a very popu lous and prosperous State within a very untu penou. vnicagv uurrcm. Of "the 11,805 marriages in New York City in 1884, ten were of colored men to white women, and one of a colored woman to a white man. Two men married f os the fifth time, three men and two, women for the fourth, one hundred men and forty-one women for the third, and 1,545 widowers and 1,270 widows of the first time remar ried. Eleven bridegrooms and one bride were between seventy and eighty years of age, sixteen bridegrooms and two brides between sixty-five and seventy, and fifty-nine bridegrooms and six brides between sixty and sixty-five. The number of men who married un der twenty was 218; that of women, 2.919. The number of men who mar ried between twenty and twenty-five 0ar3 of age was 4,173; of women, G.031; 3,795 men and 2,170 women uiurr-cu between twenty-five and thirty -years of age. Sr Y. Sun. vase National Bank! AltkeriMi Capital, -Paid Ii Capitol, Sirplis aid Preits, - $250,000 50,000 8,000 omenta and dikhcxors. A. ANDERSON. Pres't. SAM'L C. SMITH, Vice Pres't. O. T. ROEN, Cashier. J. W. KABLY, HERMAN OEHLRICH, W. A. MCALLISTER, O. ANDERSON, P. ANDERSON. Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage Tickets, ana Beat Estate Loans. 28-vol-18-ly lTJIDrE88 CAMS. D. T. MarTYK, M. D. F. J. SCHUQ, M. D. Dm. MAETY1" SCHUG, C. 8. Examining Surgeons, Local Surgeons, Union Pacific, O., N. & B. H. and B. A M. R. R's. Consultations in German and English. Telephones at office and residences, flrofflce over First National Bank. COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA. 42-y pt D. EVANS, B. ., PHYSICIAN AND SUBGEON. igroffiee and rooms. Gluck-.building, Uth street. Telephone communication. 44-ly pt J GARLOW, Collection Att'y. SPECIALTY MADE OF BAD PAPER. Office with J. G. Higglns. 34-3in TT J. BUIMON. NOTARY PUBLIC. ft Street, deers west ef Maaaoad Houe, Columbus, Neb. 491-y J C. BEEDEK, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Office on Olive St., Columbus, Nebraska 2-tf MONEY TO IjOAIV. Five years' time, on improved farms with at least one-fourth the acreage under cultivation, In sums representing one third the fair value of tbe homestead. Correspondence solicited. Address, M. K. TURNER, 50. y Columbus, Nebr. V. A. MACKEN, DKAUCRIH 1 Foreign and Domestic Liquors and Cigars. llth street, Columbus, Neb. 50-y Itfl-cALLlSTER BEOS., A TTORNEYS AT LAW, Office up-stairs in McAllister's build ing, llth St. "W. A. McAllister, Notary Public. JOHN TIMOTHY, NOTARY PUBLIC AND CONVEYANCER. Keeps a full line of stationery and school supplies, and all kinds of legal forms. Iusurcs against fire, lightning, cyclone and tornadoes. Office in Powell's Block, Platte Centei. 19-x J. M. MACTARLAND, Attsrcir sal Kotirj PuWe. B. R. COWDERT, Collieter. LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE OF Iff ACFARIiAND & COWDBRY, Columbus, : : : Nebraska. F. F. RUNNER, M. D., (Successor to Dr. C. G. A. Hullhorst) HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SUBOEON. Regular graduate of two medical col leges. Office up stairs in brick building north of State Bank. 2-ly J. JT. MAUOllAN, Justice, County Surveyor, Notary, Land and Collection Agent. ISTParties desiriagsurveying done can notify me by mail at Platte Centre, Neb. 51-6m TC H.BU8CHE, 'llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel. Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, "Whips, Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, trunks, valises, buggy tops, cushions, carriage trimmings, c at the lowest possible prices. Repairs promptly attended to. TAMES SALMON, CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plans and estimates supplied for either frame or brick buildings. Good work faaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near t. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne braska. 62 6mo. T II. LAWRENCE, DEPUTY CO. SUBVEYOB. Will do general surveying in Platte and adjoining counties. Office with S. C. Smith. COLUMBUS, ... NEBRASKA. 17-tf J 8. MURDOCK & SON, Carpenters and Contractors. Havenad an extended experience, and will guarantee satisfaction in work. All kinds of repairing done on short notice.' Our motto is, Good work and fair prices. Call and give us an oppor tunity to estimate for you. tSTShop on 13th Stone door west of Friedhof & Cos. store, Columbus, Nebr. 483-y o. c. sTTAisnsroisr, MANurACTunxn of Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware ! Job-Work, Xootnr aad Gutter ing a Specialty. IgrShop on Olive Street, 2 doers north of Brodfeuhrer's Jewelry Store. 46-y G W. CLABE, LAND AND INSVBANCE AGENT, HUMPHBEY, NEBB. His lands comprise some fine tracts In the Shell Creek Valley, and the north era portion of Plstte county. Taxes paid for noa-residents. Satisfaction guaranteed. 30 y BB' bbbV pdaV i aV aV i aV. .aV aV AW bb AW as 1885. THE COPTIC CHURCH. laterAstlag- DwitlftlM a Ksllgiom Or Caalsatloa Floarlaktas; la Egypt. The supreme head of the Coptic Church is the Patriarch of Alexandria, who, however, lives at Cairo." He claims direct apostolic succession from St Mark, the founder of the Egyptian Church, who is claimed as having been the first patriarch, and who is held in the same reverence as is accorded by the Western Church to St Peter, The other Coptic ecclesiastical orders are bishops, arch-priests, priests, dea cons and monks. The priests are all expected to marry, but the patriarch must be a celibate. He is invariably chosen, either by his predecessor or else y lot, from among the monks of the convent of St. Anthony. There are twelve Coptic bihops, and the patriarch nominates the Metropolitan of Abys sinia. Though the Copts are remarkable for their general detestation of all other Christian sects, their principal tenets assimilate with those of tbe Latin Church. They acknowledge seven sac raments, enjoin auricular confession and extreme unction. The latter is ad ministered not only to persons at the point of death, but to persons who have done meet penauce after the commis sion of grievous sin. Evil spirits are exorcised "with candle, with book and with bell" In celebrating the Holy Eucharist leavened bread is used, which has previously been dipped in wine. The Copts are more rigorous in their observance ot last days. Besides every Wednesday and Friday in the year the Lenten fastis prolonged to fifty-five days, during which no manner of ani mal food is allowed not even eggs, milk or cheese. Some, rites, however, appear to be borrowed either from their Moslem or Jewish neighbors. Thus circumcision is deemel essential, in ad dition to baptism by immersion. The frequent services of the Coptio Church are conducted in modern Coptic, that is to say, in Greek Coptic. which, although not spoken by the monks, is understood by them all. But the true Coptic, the language of the Pharoahs, is literally a dead tongue. Father Vansteb, who visited Siout in 1763, states that he there had the priv ilege of seeing the last Copt who understood his own language, and with whom it was to die. Being eighty years old, and very deaf, he was not able to give his visitor much useful informa tion. Some portions of the service, such as the Gospel, are first read in Coptic and then explained in Arabic, in order that it might bo understood by the people. Naturally, the lives of the saints oc cupy a large place in Coptic literature, and the place of highest honor, next to the Blessed Virgin and St Mark, is ac corded to St George whether to the real St. George, England's patron saint, or to that evil George, also born in Cappadocia, who headed the Arian heresy in Alexandria, and from time to time superseded St Athanasius, is not clear. Which of the two Is revered by the Copts I can not say. But I know we were much interested when visiting a very ancient Greek Church in Cairo, dedicated to St George, bywatching a sisterhood of Latin nuns, wlio, like our selves, were doing a little sight-seeing. The kind old priests did the honors of the saints with charming courtesy, even producing his veritable head for inspec tion. Harper's Bazar. BEING A WOMAN. Soma of tke Trials aad Tribulation That the Fair Sex la CoapcUed to be Cheerful Under. It is a dreadful bother to be a woman and do the business up in good shape. In the first place you've got to look well, or else you're nobody. A man may be ever so homely and still be pop alar. Whiskers cover up the most of his face, and if he has a big mouth no body mistrusts it, and if he does wrinklo bad on his forehead his friends speak of his many cares and his thoughtful dis position, and tell each other that his wrinkles are lines of thought Lines of thought, indeed, when in all probabili ty his forehead is wrinkled by the bad habit he has got of scowling at his wife when the 00009 isn't strong enough. A woman must always be in good order. Her hair must always be frizsed and banged, as fashion demands, and she must powder if she has a shining skin; and she must manage to look sweet no matter how sour she may feel; her dress must hang just so, and her lace must always be spotless, and her boot buttons always in place, and her finger nails always clean; and then she musn't whistle, nor climb fences, nor stone cats, nor scold when she's mad. She can't go out alone, because ladies must oe protectea; sue can't go any where when it rains, because her hair won't stay frizzed and she'll get mud on her petticoats and things; she can't be a Free Mason, because she would tell their secrets and everybody would know all about the goat and gridiron; she can't smoke, because that would be unfeminine; she can't go courting, be cause that would not be womanly. People wilLsigh over her, and wonder why it is that men""don'tsoem to take;" ana all. the old maids and widows smile and keep quiet Oh. these smiles and these significant looks! They are ten times more than open slanders. It Is a terrible thing to be an old maid. Everybody knows it is, and the women who are married to drunken husbands, and who manage to quarrel with them six days out of seven, will live in an agony of spirit over the single woman and call her that "poor old maid." A woman must marry rich or she doesn't marry "well." And to marry "well" is the end and aim of a woman's existence, judging from the view which people in general take of this matter. It is everybody's business whom a woman marries. The whole neighbor hood put their heads together and talk over the pros and cons, and decide whether she is good enough for him. (There is nothing said about his being good enough for her.) And they criti cise the shape of her nose, and relate anecdotes of how lazy her grandfather was, and how her- Aunt Sally used to sell beans and buttermilk. A woman must wear lo. 2 boots on No. 3 feet, and she must manage to dress well on seventy-five cents a week, and she musn't be vain, and she must be kind to the poor, and she must go regularly to the sewing society meetings, and be ready to dress dolls and make amies and aprons for church fairs. She must be a good cook, and she must be able to "do, up" her henband's shirts so that the Chinese washerman would groan with envy and gnash his teeth wiR the ismniy peeewn at sight of them: sieve the) WHOLE NO. 778. buttons of the family sewed on se they will never come off while in use, and he must keep the family heaserr so rthat nobody would ever mistrust there) were holes in the stockings while they were on. She must hold herself in con stant readiness to find everything her hmbttieXhas lost and a man never knowswhWe to find anything. He will mt his boots carefully away on the par or sofa, and when he has hunted for them half an hour he will suddenly ap pear to his wife' with a countenance like an avenging angel and demand "What in thunder she has done with his hosts." Shu must shut all the doors after her lord and master, and likewise the bureau drawersfer a mar ried man was never known to shut a drawer. It would bo as unnatural for a hen to go in swimming for recreation. She must go to bed first in cold weather, so as to get the bed warm. Her husband, if he be' a wise man, never asks her to do this. Oh, no! but he sits to "just finish this piece in the paper," and waits till she has got the sheets to a comfortable temperature. Ah, there are a great many tricks in the trade of living together. A woman-1 is expected to lake care of tho baby even after the first infantile wonder has multiplied into a round half dozen. And if he doubles up with the colic or trials of cutting teeth, or tho necessary evils of mumps and measle and whooping cough and scarlet-fever and rash and throat distemper and short sleeves and bare legs and pins sticking into him and too much candy and a bad temper, why her husband tells her that he "does wish she would try and quiet her baby," and he says it, too, as if he thought she alone was responsible for its being in existence, and if she was considerably to blame for it too. And when she has the headache no body thinks of minding it a woman's always having the headache. And if she is "nervous enough to fly" nobody shuts the door any quieter, and nobody tucks her on the lounge with a shawl over her or coddles her to death as a man has to be coddled under such cir cumstances. We might go on indeSniteiy with the troubles of being a woman.- and if there is a man who thinks a woman has an easy time of it, why, just let him pin on a pound of false hair and get inside a pair of corsets, and put on a pull back overskirt, and be a woman him self and see how he likes it Lowell Times. STRONG AT EIGHTY. David Dadley Field's Beds tor Self- Preservation. "My recipe for self-preservation is ex ercise. I am a firm believer in exercise. I will tell you my mode of life. I am a very temperate man, and have always been so. I have taken care of myself, and as I have a good constitution I sup pose that is the reason I am so well. You must ask the Almighty why I have lived so long, and how long I shall live. I am perfectly healthy and strong, and, though I have nominally retired from the law, I am busy as you see from morning until night Another reason 1 am so well is that my mind has always been occupied. I am never idle; 111 fact I have no time to be ill. "When I was a young man I had very severe headaches. In 1844 I bought a horse, and I have not had a headache since. Every morning 1 arise at six o'clock. I have done so for forty years. I take an ice-cold bath, dress myself, jump on' a horse at seven o'clock, and ride for an hou& I then breakfast and work at my bouse until eleven o'clock, when I walk down-town, a distance of four miles. 1 remain at my office until three o'clock, then walk home, and dine at six. At seven I sleep for half an hour, after which I am ready for anything. I retire between ten and eleven o'clock. I have done this for over forty years. I attribute my hardihood to horseback-riding. nave 1 ever taxen a annirf No, sir, never, except a glass of claret at din ner. Like Pore Hyarinthe, I must have my claret at dinner. Whisky, brandy, or any liquid of tiat kind I never touch. "My advice to yvung men is to get eight hours sleep every night and drink only chocoi&e, cofiee and tea. The young men of o-day are too fast The candle can noS burn at both ends and last long. I have never smoked tobacco in any shape and never will Do as I have fone, and you will be strong at eighty, and probably at ninety." Mr. Field was at his office busy with some details of his civil code, now be fore the Legislature. "The code," he saick "is favored by a great number of lawyers. There are some old fellows, to be sure, who are opposed to it What they want is a large library. They seem to think that a civil code is an alteration of existing things. By no means; it is a condensation, and is cal culated to save much labor and re search. These old lawyers have learned the law in one way, and they believe in a civil code about as, much as a Moham medan believes in Christianity." N. Y. Commercial Advertiser. A BOY EMPEROR. Tho Falas Takes to Amnio tho Toaos Emptror of China. Wonderful ingenuity was displayed in so placing the Chinese Emperor's palace as to secure the greatest variety of situ ation and to command the most varied views. Every natural feature of the ground has been elaborated so as to produce charming landscapes, which could scarcely be recognized as artificial; hills of from ten to sixty feet in height were constructed, divided by little val leys and watered by four streams form ing cascades and lakes, one of which was five miles in circumference. On its calm waters floated beautiful pleasure boats, including one magnificent house boat for the amusement of the ladies of the palace. In every direction winding paths led to quaint little pavilions and charming grottoes, while artificial rock-work was made the nursery for all manner of beautiful lower, much care being be stowed on securing a great variety for every seasonof the year. Flowering trees were scattered over the grassy hills, and their blossoms perfumed the air. Each stream was crossed at fre quent intervals by most picturesque and. highly ornamental bridges of wood, brick, or freestone, adorned with fanci ful kiosks, in which to repose while ad miring the view. The triumph of art was to make those bridges twist about in such an extraordinary manner that tber were often three times as 101 if taevhad seen led in a direct hf ear seane of them were nlaced very isanilnhlii triumphal arches. ef esanevntety-earved weed I t a"alurinee and professional card of Ire lines or less, per nenmaa, dollars. EV For time advertisements, apply atthlaoflco. ErLegnl adTertieeaeats at atatmU rates. 0For transient ndTertteinf, sea rate oa third page). 17A11 adTertlseenents payable) monthly. PERSONAL AND IMPIftSONAL.' There Is a Jewish penman in Vien na who writes four hundred Hebrew letters on one grain of wheat He hae 0 written the Jewish prayer for the nerial family on the narrow edge of an ordinary visiting card. The richest Chinaman in America leAhTi, of La Porte, Cal. who is! worth $2,000,000. He made money, mining, and will repair to the iewery kingdom to enjoy it as soon as his husi- ness can be settled up. San FrancMt Chronicle. It is said that Governor Robert B.; Pattison, of Pennsylvania, "will probe- bly enter tbe Methodist ministry whemj his term of office expiree. His father, was an itinerant He is one of the youngest of Pennsylvania's long line' of Governors. Pittsburgh Ibst. Susan B. Anthony Is aowsixty-fenr years old and her face is no more wrinkled than when she was fifty. Her hair has a few gray strands mixed with its black, and she combs it down over her ears in an artistic curve, and winds It up into a good-sized waterfall at the back. Chicago Herald. Jerry McAuley was carried to hie grave amid lamentations that a king might envy, to find that the poverty he haa left here had been turned to great ncnes in the hereafter. Wo one who looks at the pecuniary results of his twenty years of Christian life can donbt his sincerity. N. Y. Mercury. William Card, who died a few days, ago in Newport, R. L, when almost ninety-nine years of age, was until within a comparatively short time able to appear occasionally on the street, while his mental activities were such as to enable him to enjoy the society of his friends up to the close ot life. He was the oldest fireman in New En gland. Providence Journal. David Dudley Field, now elf years old, says: "My recipe for sel preservation is exercise. I am a firm believer in exercise. I walk every day from my house to my office, a distance of about three miles and a half, and I feel as well to-day as I ever did in my life. I have taken care of myself, and as I have a good constitution I suppose that is the reason I am so well." A Cambridge (Mass.) lady fastens her sealskin sacque with a silver clasp that her grandfather picked up with an officer's cloak on the field at the battle .of Waterloo. The finder was a young subaltern who afterward became a General in the English army and fought in the Crimean war. This clasp is or namented by the Prussian eagle, and, though it has been in constant use all these years, still remains in good con dition. Boston Journal. Whatever may or may not be said of George Francis Train, no one who has ever met him will deny that tile erratic gentleman is remarkably quiok at repartee. It was during a lecture he gave in Chicago some years ago that he exclaimed: "Every man has his price?" "What is your price, Mr. Train?" asked a voice from the gal lery. Quick as a flash the lecturer faced the questioner and exclaimed: "Fifty cents admission; children" (pointing to the owner of the voice, while the entire audience focussed its gaze at the astonished person in line of Mr. Train's index finger) "half price." Harper's Bazar. "A LITTLE NONSENSE." London's swell female society now leave their dog's card with their own in making calls. Some people don't care to what humiliation thoy subject a dog. Binghamton Bepublican. Mistress, to amiable servant maid "I am going to go to the opera this evening, so I shall probably be home late." Amiable maid "Oh, you needn't apologize to me for thai." Chicago Tribune. Translated from a French novel: "Casting herself between her brother and his intended victim, the fair Inez exclaimed, in a voice that vibrated with agony: 'Rodolpho, do not kill him, for if you did he would surely die.' " Ex change. "Ma, this paper says there are three thousand nine hundred and fifty Bands of Mercy in this country. What is a band of Mercy?" "An association for charitable purposes, child." "Ohl I thought it was a brass band that didn't practice evenings." N. Y. Inde pendent. "A Boston girl is going to marry Prof. Edmunds, one of the men who devised zone standard time." The marriage may be a happy one if some fiendish paragrapher doesn't rush in with the remark that the professor is anxious to call her his zone. Norris town Herald. "Here is an advertisement that in terests me a good deal," said Mrs. Benton, thoughtfully. "What is it?" asked her husband. "Why it's tho ad vertisement of a 'seven per cent net, security guaranteed.' I'm awfully bothered lately about keeping up my back hair, and I believe I'll call in and look at it" N. Y. Independent. How to win her. If your heart with love is laden For the girl across the way. And you wish to win tbe maiden. Take her riding in a slcig-h. It will put ber in a flutter And you'll make an easy mash. Yar within a UrsUIujc cutter kou can surely cut a dash. Besides, in a sleigh, wherever you go You needn't have fear of the beautlful's "Ko." "Mr. Smith, is ague catching, just like the measles?" "No, my little deab. What made you think so?" "Coz, when you was here the other night, you know, petting sister Jane, when she had the ague, ma said, after . you'd gone, that you was no good and hadn't got any money, and that Jane had better give you the shake. I thought maybe it was catching. Chicago Tribune. "Good evening. Tommy. Is your sister Clarissa at home?" "Yes, sir, she's out in the kitchen popping corn for you." "Popping corn for me? Why, how very thoughtful! I like pop-corn very much." "Yes, sir. She said she was going to put a pan of pop corn under your nose and if you didn't take the hint she'd give you the shake." Something besides corn was poj that evening. N. Y. Mail and Exp opped ress. Charlie, a bright four-year-old, al though a good boy as boys go, some times gives occasion for serious reproof from his mother. On" a recent occa sion of this sort Charlie began looking rather sour, when his mother took him h to task for it and told him that he ought to look pleasant But his face continued to wrinkle, till his mother remarked, "Why, Charlie, I am aston ished to see you making faces at your mother." Charlie brightened up at onoc, and retorted, "Why, I calculated to laugh but, mamma, my face slipped." N. Y. Ledger. "V "TV"
