t
i
H
n
1
THE JOURNAL.
ISSUED EVERY WEDNESDAY,
M. T. TURNER & CO.
Proprietor! aa PubliAeri.
3T OFFICE -Eleventh St., up stairs.
in Journal Building.
wm
Mimltts
BtttI
tATES OF AlMTBRTISlISe;.
terms:
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COLUMBUS
STATE BANK!
VOL. XV.-NO. 89.
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. JANUAEY 21, 1885.
WHOLE NO. 767.
COLUMBUS, NEB.
CASH CAPITAL,
$75,000
DIRECTORS:
Leandeu Gerhard, Pres'l.
' Geo. W. Hulst, Vice Pre't.
Julius A. Heed.
K. II. Heskv.
J. E. Taskeji, Cashier.
o - -f
DAY BY DAY.
little older every day,
A little nearer to the etoM;
Nearer the ending of the fray.
Nearer the lonjr repoM.
Nearer the time when o'er our bead
Shall spring' the hlossom and the grata.
And friends will murmur: ?'He la dead,'?
As by our tomb they pass.
Nearer the time when v. e shall cast
An anchor by the mystic shore;
And see and feel and know, at last,
What we could not before.
Ah! how the years go rollim
tb
iri
Into the vaults of Time!
I
How short
ow soon the
ont
e step to manhood s pnm
oia oz me is gone
Cincinnati Engwtrtr.
--
I am, for
Hank of IepoIt,
and KxchaHK.
IHaceamt
MADAM WHIMS.
Collections Promptly Made 01
all Polat.
Pay
its.
latere ob Time
Depos-274
HENRY G-ASS,
Her Devices to Conceal the Cruel
ties of an Insane Husband.
A young girl, who had just arrived,
Vws the center of a group of women
ra the porch of the old-fashioned' hotel
in Wildgrapeisle, a little island the
medicinal qualities of whose springs.
especially in the case of nervous com
plaints, were just beginning to db
known, one lovely August evening.
"And now," said she, after the usual
welcoming speeches and compliment
ary remarks about the becomingness
of her traveling costume had all been
made, "tell me who is here,"
"Oh! the old set," answered two or
three of her friends together. "With
)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapiH'vtwjr
COFFIN'S AND METALLIC CASES
AND DKALEK IN
Furniture, Chairs, Bedsteads, Bu-
rcaua Tables. Safes. Lounges.
&c.. Flcture Frames and
Mouldings.
JGT Impairing of all kinds of Upholstery
Goods.
COLUMBUS, NLB.
c-tr
HENRY LUERS,
PKALKR IN'
OrXAI-E-ElNrGcE
WIND MILLS,
AND PUMPS.
Buckeye Mower, combined, Self
Binder, wire or twine.
Pumps Repaired on short notice
ESrOne door west of Ileintz's Druj
Store, 11th Street, Columbus, Neb. 8
Send 10
kfnr workinir neonle.
p- . " - .1 ...:n
cnis imsiairc. auu wc
HIPT.P
JLL.I J 1 J.L mriii vou free, a ioval, val
uable sample box ofi,'ooils that will put
vou in the wav of making more money in
:i few davs than vou ever thought pos
sible at "anv businos. Capital not re
quired. You can live at home and work
in spare time only, or all the time. All
of both sexes, of all aces, grandly suc
cessful. ."0 cents to $5 easily earned
evcrv evening. That all who want work
nriv "test the business, we make this un
paralleled offer: To all vrho are not well
satisfied we will send $1 to pay for the
trouble of writing us. Full particulars.
directions, etc, ent free. Immense pa
absolutely sure for all who start
Don't delay. Address
Portland, Maine.
nt once.
StiNson & CO.,
A WOK OF WAKXITVG.
17AUMEUS, stock raisers, and all other
interested parties will do well to
remember that the "Western Horse and
Cattle Insurance Co." of Omaha is the
only companv doing business in this state
that insures' Horses, Mules and Cattle
aainst loss by theft, accidents, diseases,
or injurv, (as also against loss by fire and
lightning). All representations by agents
of other Companies to the contrary not
withstanding. P. AV. JIEXRICH, Special Ag't,
l.Vv Colunibus, Neb.
NO HUMBUG!
But a Grand Success.
Rr. URIGHAM'S AUTOMATIC WA-
terTrough for stock. He refers to
everv man who has it in use. Call on or
leave orders at George Yale's, opposite
Oehlrich's grocery. 9.tm
J. WAGNER,
Livery and Feed Stable.
Is prepared to furnish the public with
good teams, buggies and carriages for all
occasions, especially for funerals. Also
conducts a sale stable. 44
rpRAHSIT HOUSE,
PLATTE CENTER NEB.
JOHX DUGG.Of,
Proprietor.
The best accommodation for the travel
ing public guaranteed. Food good, and
plentv of it. Reds clean and comfortable,
charges low, as the lowest. 13-y
A PRIZE. kSSI
Send six cents for
1 receive
jstly box of
coods which will help you to more money
. i . ... .ttk:ni a1c ,n this
rigm awav inau auj iuiub v ... . -world.
All, of either sex, succeed from
first hour. The broad road to fortune
opens before the workers, absolutely
sure. At once address, Truk & Co.,
Augusta, Maine.
.LYON&HEALY
I State Monroe Sts.. Chicago.
WH1 wn i (nmU ta may tiirm lb,
AWD CATALOOUE,
Lfcr ISA 309 lC. EnniJtl
I Of iDStnlBKBU, WI1U. Xf, ",
t-..,.-... Cimnlctl. Co-Lura.
'tCTw uH stia. kd
OWWh . -J - , .
l-u... cjt BuJ Oatxtt. KiNiar
1 TT J 1 jjUm J Cw
BSUtCfmMi liKtum iti "---T
brMt IflT AXDEVur nyi mi m
CkekMiUatic,
the exception," added two or turee
more, "of Madam Whims," chorused
nil th.fi rosL
"Madam Wliims," repeated the new
arrival. "What a very odd name."
"Oh! it isn't her real name," ex
plained several of the group intone
voice again. "Her real name .
"Suppose one of the party enlightens
me while the others remain silent," in
terrupted the girl, laughingly. "It's
rather confusing, you know, listening
to a chorus on a subject of which the
listener happens to be in total ignor
ance. You, Maud, used to be a capital
storv-teller-in our school days, and
that isn't far enough away for your
tongue to have forgotten its cunning,
inlfi siinnose vou narrate and oblige
yours trulv. Bell Morrison.
" "There isn't any story to tell, Bell,
my dear," replied the youthful, bright-
evVd matron thus singled out. "The
: "-s simply this: A lady is stopping
'ie came about three weeks ago
wno.se name is Eleanor Halpin, but
whom our circle with common consent
have dubbed Madame Wliims, because,
mv dear, she reallv is the whimmiest of
whimmen. Pun "intended hope you
all see it."
"I recognized it at once," said Uell,
"having 'met it many times before,
notablv'in the old verses which, if my
memory serves me aright, runs sonio
what iii this way.
"When Kve first wooed with lovo so Kino" t
Her Adain called her woouian:
Hut when she brought him nef and woe.
Why. then he called her woeman. -f
Since then the men declare tho sex
WitJi follies overbrimmin'.
Ami so they've changed tho name again,
And now they call them whimmen.
"Am I to go on. or have you any
more verses to repeat?" asked Mistress
Maud.
"You are to go on, and go on
quickly," answered her sprightly
friend, "for I haven't had my supper
vet and I shall soon be awfully hungry.
You said last she was the 'whimmiest
of whimmen.' Pray tell me what
shapes her whims take?"
"Oddities of dress, principally.
When we first beheld her, two
days after her arrival she had kept
lw.r rnnni in the interim she wore a
sort of turban, apparently evolved
from a large, soft, crimson silk hand
kerchief, tilted rather rakishly over the
left eve. It was not altogether unbe
coming, but it was. extremely queer.
In a few days the turban was discarded
and she appeared in very long, very
loose gloves, morn, noon and eve,
breakfast, lunch and dinner, for nearly
n week. Then she came down with a
cane, a handsome one, and walked with
an affected little limp for another week.
Then a lace scarf graced her head,
tied down over her ears, my dear,
with a big bow under her chin. And
to-night, warm as it is, she has several
Yrds of white illusion twined around
lier throat and standing up at the
back of her neck in a manner that
stronrlv suggests an Elizabethan ruff."
"Uliich suggestion of an Elizabethan
ruff I suppose I shall have the pleasure,
of seeing." said Bell, "as each of my
lady's vagaries seem to last for several
davs. But tell me something about
herself, Maud. Is she pretty? Is she
clever? Is she wife, widow or divorcee?
If wife, what kind of a husband has
she?"
"Well, she is not ugly, rather pretty,
in fact, and somewhat clever; so we in
fur from what conversation we have
had with her, which is wry little, for
it is one of her whims to have her hus
band always at her side, and you know
how hard it is for women to talk to
eacli other when there is a man around.
Bv the by, we also infer from the
never-varying brightness of her face
that she must be a very happy, very
sweet-tempered woman."
"And her husband?"
"Oh! ves, I was coming; to him. He
is a splendid looking fellow (though
Kate Dutton, who is given, you know,
to finding resemblance to animals in
human beings, declares there is a hint
of tiger about him), but we are none
of us particularly interested in him,
because, to tell the truth, my dear, he
.lasn't shown the slightest interest in
anv of us."
"And how does he appear to regard
his wife's whims?"
"With extreme indulgence. I see him
looking at her peculiarities of dress,
sometimes, with the kind of smile with
which a fond parent regards the trick
of a spoiled child."
"Spoiled child, indeed!" here joined
in a sharp-nosed, thin-lipped elderly
dame who had evidently thus far been
holding her tongue with great difficulty.
"I have no patience with him. WThy
don't he make her take off those fal-de-lals
(Maud hasn't told you about half
of them) and dress like a Christian? I
would, mighty quick, if I were he. But
as he don't I shpuld think that compan
ion of hers Mrs. Gregg who seems to
be a sensible person, and to have some
influence over her, might prevail upon
"Perhaps she is the .sort of woman
who can't be prevailed upon, said
Bell.
"I guess you are right," acquiesced
Mistress Maud, with emphasis. "She
has a very determined look at times
about hermouth, though it is a small
and smilling one. And her big, dark
gray eves meet your gaze almost defi-
Imnudeiitlv, I call it,"
Pm sorrr for her husband,
altogether, l ve no aouot ne uaa pret
ty hard time of it. Tm sure if were
a man shouldn't want my wife tag
ging 'round after me every step J took,
especially if I had a wife like Madam
Whims, eternally devisin' ways and
means, in spite of her pretended devo
tion, of attractm' attention."
"That is false!" said a voice from the
drawing-room window, and the next
moment Mrs. Gregg, a tall, pale wo
man, clad in black robes, stepped out
upon the porch.
"False!" echoed the unlovely spm-
ster. . , .
"Yes, false; and to my mind the
time has come when the truth should
be told. I can not, in consideration for
her, take the dreadful responsibility of
keeping my mistress' secret any longer.
Ladies, that splendid looking fellow
so bound to the side of his wife would,
had it not been for her angelic love and
devotion, have been long ago the in
mate of a lunatic asylum. Don't be
frightened, he has never hurt any one
but her. For years he has been subject
to insane paroxysms whose fury he
vents upon tho being he loves best in
the world. Onoe over them he is as
sane as you or i. ror sbvciju
past these attacks have been much more
frequent than ever before. Butno one
has suspected them, even in this
crowded hotel, for having, as you have
already suggested. Miss Dutton, some
thing of the tiger about him, it is but a
stealthy bound, a noiseless, heavy blow,
or two or three received without a
murmur and then he sinks into a pro
found slumber from which he awakes
utterly unconscious of what he has
done, to laugh as you do at his wife's
whims. That fantastic turban con
cealed a wound in the left temple; the
Ion"" o-loves covered bruised hands and
arms;the scarf was tied about a swollen
neck, and the yards of illusion wrapped
around her slender throat to-night hide
the marks of cruel fingers. 'Madam
Whims!' Madam Saint, I say! 'He only
hurts me,' she prays, when I threaten
HwMnsurfi. 'He onlv hurts me and
does not mean to do it, as you well
know, Gregg, for he loves me, he loves
me dearty and I adore him. What he
does in the wretched moments that he
is not himself I can bear, but to be
parted from him forever oh! that I
could not bear, sne came nere m tue
hope that the waters might do him
rood. but he has, as I have told you,
grown worse, and after to-day's ex
perience it would be crime for me to
remain silent any longer. 'Give me
the name, please, of the best physician
in the mv God! what was that?' she
broke off" suddenly to exclaim, as a
pistol shot rang out upon the air, and
then she fairly flew back through the
drawinjj-room, out into the hall, and
up the stairs that led to her mistress
apartment, followed, almost as swiftly,
by the horror-stricken women who had
been listening to her story. Throwing
open the door of the sitting-room sne
entered, leaving the others huddled to
gether in the threshold. "Too late!
too late!" she cried; "look there." And
there on the floor, beside a couch
which held the form of his wife, lay
the lifeless body of Luke Halpin. "He
has killed her in one of his insane mo
ments," continued the companion in a
shrill, unnatural voice, "and finding
her dead on awakening has taken his
own life with the pistol I thought I
had so carefully hidden from mm.
And see, see, wringing her hands while
the tears rolled down her cheeks, oh!
what a pitiful sight she played
Madam Whims' to the last." And
pressing silently forward they saw that
the dying woman, with some wild idea
of hiding the act that had cost her her
life, and shielding him who was dearer
to her than that life, had with her last
strength draped a gauzy shawl over
the knife-wound in her breast, but the
tell-tale blood had dripped through
and stained the white silk dress she
wore with spots of vivid red! Margaret
Eytinge, in Detroit Free Press.
m
THE CANADA GOOSE.
Wlga, Fronts and Frltt.,
The wild-cat expedition to Tonquin
and its immediate consequence will
oblige the hair-dressers of Paris to turn
over a new leaf. False hair having be
come a second nature to the ladyhood
of the civilized world, the heads of peas
ant girls in villages where coils are worn
by them no longer, supplies the de
mand for borrowed locks; All they
nan do is to furnish tresses to beauties
who are regardless of expense when a
question of the toilette is to be solved
by money. Twenty years ago the price
of a first-rate "natte," orlongtau, to
serve as "back hair," was40f. It would
now cost 250f. It is possible, however,
to buy one that can. replace it fairly
well for 60f. or 70f.. but certainly not
for less than the former sum. There
are Morbihan heads of hair worth 800f.
The capillary harvest furnished by
Brittany peasant wenches is the best.
It is long, silky, elastic, and retains
"vitality' for years after it is cut.
Basque locks come next in these quali
ties. They lend themselves to the
curling-tongs, which neither adult
Italian, German, nor Scandinavian
tresses do after severance irom iuw
roots. The Bavarian head produces
hair most plentifully, but as it soon
o-ets "dead" it is only good for
h.ii1. and "stuffiner." The Euro
pean supply being insufficient, hair
merchants went to the far East
to shear Chinese and Malay heads. A
brisk and lucrative trade has sprung
up, although the hair of the yellow race
does not suit the Caucassian type of
loveliness. Our hair forms a round
tube; that growing on a Chinese or a
Malay skullforms an oval one. Light
plays on it in a different manner from
what it does on heads of European hair.
It seems to form a denser mass, and
gives a harsh expression to a face the
skin of which is naturally fair. I have
had a long talk on this subject with a
capillary artist, who was coiffeur to the
Varieties Theater when Mdlle. Schnei
der was there, and who was frequently
employed by the Princess Metternich,
not, as she herself frankly said, to en
hance her beauty, but to give spice to
her ugliness. His special gift is to cre
ate styles which harmonize with indi
vidual nhvsiosrnoniies. A strongly-
marked face, he tells me, like that of
Mdlle. Agar (who has just re-entered
the Francais) or of Marie Laurent can
bear juxtaposition with Celestial hair,
albeit of jet black hue. A round vis
age, fresh, fair, and rosy, is seen to
most advantage when it has for its ac
companiments a curly The wig of a
burnished blonde, and made of the hair
of a Thibet goat, or of very young chil
dren. The child's head used
to be neglected in the fairs and markets
where purveyors for coiffures reap their
provincial harvests. But it is now
eagerly sought after because it is the
best for those wavy scalps and fringes
which most successfully hide falsity.
Our grandmother's fronts, with their
distinct "parting," took in nobody.
Those calculatedto deceive were bound
on the head with a narrow velvet band
which went twice round and covered
the place where the edge of the front
met the forehead. When nature fails
to well-clothe the coronal region, art
steps iti with a frisette, the Parisian
name for a scalp bordered with a curly
fringe made of child's hair. Old ladies
who disdain to dye are not above re
sorting to borrowed locks, which en
able them to dispense with caps. Grey
"nattes," chignons, and poodle scalps
look very well, provided the decorative
arrangement of jewels, plumes, or ar
tificial flowers is judicious, and that the
hair employed in them is shorn from
European heads. The hair merchant
now enables the old woman at the
Salpetriere to enjoy many little com
forts which formerly they were obliged
to go without. Long ami elastic grey
hair of a natural tinge is ruinously dear.
A lady of venerable years can only dis
pense with caps and dyed trasses b
paying a great price forundyed ones.
London Truth.
FIRST
National Bank!
COX.TTKBUB. NKB.
Authorized Capital, -Paid
In Capitil,
Surplus and Profits, -
- $250,000
50,000
- 6,000
OFFICKB8 AMD DIRECTORS.
A. ANDERSON, FrufU w. '
SAM'L C. SMITH, Vice Prett.
O.T.ROEN, Cashier.
J. W. EABLY,
HERMAN OEHLRICH,
W. A. MCALLISTER,
Q. ANDERSON,
P. ANDERSON.
Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage
Tickets, ana Real Estate Loans.
-vol-18-ly
1TT8IHE8S CAEDS.
D.T. Martyn, M. D. F. J. Schug, M. D.
Dm. MAETYN & SCHTJG,
O.S. Examining Surgeons
Loc vrnaYPiT&''
Consultations in Oerraan and English.
Telephones at office and residences.
13-Offlce over First National Bank.
NEBRASKA.
42-y
COLUMBUS,
p J OARLOW, Collection Att'y-
SPECIALTY MADE OF BAD PAPER.
Office with J. G. HIggins. 31-3tn
T P. Wlt-SOI, M. .,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
Diseases of women and children a spe
Uiseasesoi uu. former-
niniru .iiiiiil Liu a a"
ly occupied by Dr.Bonesteel.
exchange.
Telephone
sm
O
ULA ASHBAVGU, .!..
DENIAL PABLOU,
On corner of Eleventh and North streets,
over Ernst's hardware store.
tt J. miison.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
ith Street, 2 doors west or HaMoad Honse,
Columbus, Neb. 91-y
J.
O. REEDEB,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office on Olive St.Columbus, Nebraska
V. A. MACKEN,
DKALEK IN
and Domestic Liquors ana
Cigars.
llth street, Columbus, Neb. 50-y
Foreign
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Office up-stairs in McAllister's build
ing, llth St. W. A. McAllister, Notary
Public.
antlv
1l..i;.mflv?
resumed the harp-featured lady, "and ! which may entail any bodily hurt
The Agreeable Way of the Gander While
Conducting IIU Courtship.
It is extremely amusing to witness
the courtship of the Canada goose in
all its stages; and let me assure you,
reader, that although a gander does
not strut before his beloved with the
pomposity of a turkey, or the grace of
a dove, his ways are quite as agreeable
to the female of his choice. I can imag
ine before me one who has just accom
plished the defeat of another male
after a struggle of half an hour or
more. He advances gallantly toward
the object of his attention, his head
scarcely raised an inch from the ground,
his bill open to its full stretch, his
fleshy tongue elevated, his eyes darting
fiery glances, and as he moves he hisses
loudly, while the emotion which he ex
periences causes nis quins io snaite,
and his feathers to rustle. Now he is
close to her who, in his eye, is all
loveVness, his neck bending gracefully
in all directions, passes all around her,
and occasionally touches her body;
and as she congratulates him on his
victory, and acknowledges his affec
tion, they move their necks in a hun
dred curious ways. At this moment
fierce jealousy urges the defeated gan
der to renew his efforts to obtain his
love; he advances apace, his eye glow
ing with the fire of rage; he shakes his
broad wings, ruffles up his whole
plumage, and as he rushes on the foe
hisses with the intensity of anger. The
whole flock seems to stand amazed,
and opening up a space the birds
gather round to view the combat. The
bold bird who has been caressing his
mate scarcely deisrns to take notice of
his foe, but seems to send a scornful
erlance towards him. He of the morti
fied feelings, however, raises his body,
half opens his sinewy wings, and with
aTpowerful blow, sends forth his defi
ance. The affront can not be borne in
the presence of so large a company,
nor indeed is there much disposition
to bear it in any circumstances; the
blow is returned with vigor, the
aggressor reels for a moment, but he
soon recovers, and now the combat
rages. Were the weapons more
deadly, feats of chivalry would now be
performed; as it is, thrust and blow
succeed each other like the strokes
of hammers driven by sturdy forgers.
But now, the mated gander has caught
hold of his antagonist's head with his
bill; no bull-dog could clinjr faster to
his victim; he squeezes with all the
energy of rage, lashes him with his
powerful wings, and at length drives
him awav, spreads out Wis pinions,
runs with joy to his mate, and fills the
air with cries of exultation. Quebec
Chronicle.
A Paris correspondent says that
French boys continue to have an aver
sion to an games, sucn as iooioau,
JOHN TUMOTIIir,
NOTARY PUBLIC AND CONVEYANCER.
Keeps a full line of stationery and school
supplies, aud all kinds of legal forms.
Insures against fire, lightning, cyclone
and tornadoes. Office In Powell's block,
Platte Centei . 1J'X
J. M. MACFARLAND,
Atttrtay Mi Heury Pawe.
R. COWDERY,
Collects?.
Prof. Young on Sun-Spots.
The periodicity of the sun-spots sug
gests a number of important, and inter
esting problems; relating, on the one
hand, to its mysterious cause, and, on
the other, to the possible effects of this
Iieriodicity upon the earth and its in
iabitants." I am no "sun spottist" my
self, and am very- doubtful whether the
terrestrial influence of snn-spote
amounts to anything worth speaking
of, except in the direction of magnet
ism. But all must concede, I think,
that this is by no means yet demon
strated (it is'not easy to prove a nega
tive); and there certainly are facts and
presumptions enough tending the oth
er way to warraut more extended in
vestigation of the subject. The inves
tigation is embarrassed by the circum
stance, pointed out by Dr. Gould, that
the effects of sun-spot periodicity, il
thev exist at all (as he maintains they
do)", are likely to be quite diflerent in
different portions of the oarth. The in
fluence of changes in tue amount oi
solar radiation will, he says, be first
and chiefly felt in alterations and de
flections of the prevailing winds, thus
varying the distribution of heat ana
rain upon the surface of the earth,
without necessarily much changing its
absolute amount. In some regions it
ma therefore, be warmer aud drier
during a sun-spot maximum, while in
adjoining countries it is the reverse.
Pojmlar Science Monthly.
e
Low Draperies.
Low draperies still prevail .on wool
dresses, and arc liked not only for theii
gracefulness, but because they arc
economical, as two breadths of double
width stuff can be made to go furthei
in these draperies thau any other wav.
Indeed, sometimes thev make in effect
both the upper and iower skirts, as
the' are nearlj- all that is needed when
properly mounted on a foundation
skirt, which, whether made of silk ox
alpaca, is no longer considered a sham
skirt This single breadth in the back
forms wide plaits below, and is turned
over in high puffs at the top, while an
other breadth is shaped slightly at the
top by darts, and draped below in a
deep apron that may be square, or
pointed, or else ue turned uacK in revers
on the sides to show something of the
lower skirt, or a broad band of trim
ming there. The open front draperies
are used for botli plain and rich dressei
with excellent effect, and one of the
favorite styles i to put a straight band
of velvet down the middle of the front
and back of the lower skirt, and
drape the over-skirt to fall in deep
points at each side of this band.
Frogs, brandebourgs, leaves, or panel
shaped passementerie ornaments, with
fringe drooping below them, are set
next the velvet band and on each side
of it down the front while the back if
made to lap in plaits upon the velvet
Harpefs Bazar
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE
OF
MACFARiiAND & COWDERY,
Columbus, : : : Nebraska.
F. P. RVNKER, M.
(Successor to Dr. C.G.A.HullhorsO
HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND
SURGEON.
col-
n i... ..,-.wiiii nf two medical
eies. Office up stairs in brick building
lorth of State Bank. lY
a. jr. niAUCWAar,
Justice, County Surveyor, Notary,
Land and Collection Agent.
iSTParties desiring surveying done can
?rv me bv mail at Platte Centre, ieb.
notify me by mail
WELL ADVERTISED.
A Doctor Who Entered into an Arrange
ment With Circus Clown.
Dr. Postern has tried, many ad
vertising tricks. He believes that ad
vertising rather than ability, raises a
man in his profession. He used to
drive around town at a breakneck
speed, as though hurrying to drag
someone from the yawning jaws of
death; and, often while in church, the
arrival and whispered summons of his
office boy would compel him to forego
the pleasures of a discourse so deeply
interesting and to rush away through
chilling wind, and mephitic mud to the
bedside of a sufferer. These precipitous
drives extended to the suburbs of town.
Then the doctor would proceed
leisurely, and, in fact, waywardly, for
he seemed to choose no particular
direction.
Several days ago, while a circus was
in town, an advertising dodge worthy
of Ham Griffin, occurred to the doctor.
Finding the blonde man whose business
it is to make the crowd roar with hjs
mediaeval sayings and prehistoric
capers such as running against the
onntor nolo or trettinir his feet tangled
in the banner over which ho painted
young lady in feathery flounces is to
eap tho doctor drew him aside and
said:
"You are the clown, I believe."
1C3 Oil.
"I am Doctor Postern."
"Doctor, I am pleased to meet you,
but you must excuse me now, as I must
go and dress for the coming perform
ance." "Just wait a moment. I have a
proposition to make to you. You are
not averse to receiving money for
services?1
"That's the way I make my living."
"Of course," the Doctor replied, with
a smile that showed encouragement.
"You wouldn't mind making twenty
five dollars to-night by merely speak
in or a fow words, would VOU?"
"No, I wouldnt mind making twenty-five
dollars without speaking any
words at all."
"I see you have an eye to business.
Now, I'll tell you what I want you to
do. During the performance, ask if
Dr. Postern is in tho audience. I will
arise and say that I am. Then you will
say: 'There's a friend of mine back
here who is very sicic. ne requesieu
me to call for you.' Then I'll quietly
withdraw. That's all you'll have to
say, and I think it will be an easy way
of earning twenty-five dollars."
"I'll do it. Give me the money."
"Wait until after the performance."
"Oh, I could never find vou in the
crowd, and besides it wouldn't do for
anvone to see vou give me the money.
You can rely on my word, sir."
"Perhaps you are right Here you
are," counting out the money. "Don't
forget now."
My business is never to forget any
thing." A great crowd assembled, and as the
doctor sat high up on a reserved scat,
his heart beat in anticipated pride. The
performance began, the clown came out
and made the crowd roar when he
struck the springboard, bounded high
in the air and fell on his back. Tho
elephants were led away and the clown
sang "When I First Met Maggie May."
Thedoctor began to tremble. "Is it
possible," ho mused, "that the fellow
has forgotten his promise?" The next
moment his blood leaped. The clown,
advancing to the center of the ring,
shouted :
"Is Dr. Postern in the audience?
Tho doctor arose and replied "Yes.
"Are you Dr. Postern?"
"Yes, sir."
"I have heard that you are tho best
physician in Arkansaw and "
"Thank you," bowing gravely.
"And," continued the clown, "I
would like to engage your professional
services."
"I am at your service, sir. I cheer
fully devote my professional skill in re
lieving suffering wherever found. One
of the show people ill?"
"Yes- You see, the hippopotamus
fell into a tub of water and has taken
tho croup. That lemonade boy, doctor,
will return your twentv-five dollars."
A great shout arose. Blinded by in
dignation and shame, the doctor, in
trying to descend, stumbled and fell.
AnotEer awful roar. Finally, he knew
not how, he reached the pen air. He
sought his room, where, until daylight,
he walked the floor. At last he sum
moned all his remaining courage and
went into the street
"Hi, Dr. Hippopotamus!" yelled
some one. He went back into his room,
and when night came, he quietly stole
away, leaving forever the scene of his
downfall. Arkansaw Traveler.
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
TSTBuaineas and professional cards
of five lines or less, per annum, five
dollars.
13 For time advertisements, apply
at this office.
S3TLegal advertisements at statuU
rates
ETFor transient advertising, seo
rates on third page.
J2TA11
monthly.
advertisements payable
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.
There are but two living speciea of
elephants, the African and the Asiatic
N. Y. Sun.
China is tho largest consumer of
pig tin. It is chiefly used for the manu
facture of idols.
Twenty thousand tons of coke are
shipped every month from Alabama to
AjkzQa where it is used in smelting
silver ores.
Mulhall, the great English au
thority, gives London, New York and
Liverpool as the three most important
ports in the world.
A horse-thief who got into a barn
in Knoxville, Tenn., after a trotting
horse had his leg broken by a kick, and
now wants to sue the owner of the
horse for damages.
A Bridgeport (Conn.) concern has
shipped to the .New Urieans jwcposiuun
a cabinet showing every style of lock
ever used by the United States Post
office Department from 1800 to date.
Colonel Ingersoll says that when a
man loves a woman she never grows
old to him, but through the wrinkles of
age and tho mask of time he still sees
the sweet maiden face that he-wooed
and won.
Ono dry goods firm in New York
estimates that it is put to an annual ex
pense of from 617,000 to $20,000 for
samples of fabrics, with the postage.
sent all over the country in answer to
requests. N. Y. Star.
An English physician warns
mothers against allowing babies to suck
their thumbs, "because it results in a
peculiar deformity of the chest, a de
pression of the thorax by pressure from
the arm of the infant as it lies with its
thumb in its mouth.
Peter Dosen, of St. Louis, wrapped
a five dollar bill around a roll of paper
and went around showing what was
taken for a roll of a thousand or so.
Next thing he knew he had a cracked
skull, and two policemen were taking
him to a hospital. St. Louis Post.
The biggest execration the
Boston Herald has seen lately is that
made by a man in Minnesota during
the late cold spell. He said: "Cold?
Well. I should say so. We had to give
the stove four doses of quinine yester
day, to keep it from shaking the lids
off."
Writing from Lynn, Mass., a cor
respondent reminds the Scientific
American that, as an instance of a re
markable light of an exploded boiler,
about two years ago a boiler exploded
in that city, and the flying portion, de
scribing a circle high in the air, landed
nine hundred feet from where it
started.
Beautiful fans are made entirely of
the plumago of tropical birds in their
natural colors. A web of feather cloth
is formed by gluing the plumage, each
tiny feather separately, upon silk fabric.
This gives the texture the precise ap
pearance of a living bird. The tops
are tipped with ostrich feathers. N.
Y. Bazar.
Crematoriums are not the innova
tions many people seem to suppose.
Cremation societies have been in exist
on. in T.nnilnn for twentv vears. The
corpse of Lady Dilke was burned in a
crematory in" Dresden, Germany, on
October 10, 1S74, and her husband, Sir
Charles Dilke, is President of one of the
English cremation societies.
House rents in Arabia are nearly
as low as in a deserted Pennsylvania
oil town. A French traveler mentions
his taking a comfortable dwelling at
Bereydah, consisting of two large
rooms on the ground floor and three
smaller ones, besides a spacious court
yard surrounded by high walls, for all
of which he paid thirty-six cents per
month.
A tiger in the act of eating a
buftalo has been accidentally photo
graphed in India. The poor creature,
which was tied to a stump in a field,
had just been focused, when out
popped the tiger from a neighboring
wood. The artist released the spring
shutter of the instrument just as the
lmffhlo was laid low bv the beast's
paw, and the "sun picture
Lieutenant Greely has promised his
wife that he will never go to the Arctic
regions again.
Barnev Gallagher, who was clerk
in the las't Nevada State Senate, and
has held several county offices in Elko.
New, has gone crazy from cigarette
smoking.
It will perhaps surprise many to
learn that Blondin, the rope walker,
is still active, and that despite his
years and occasional twinges of lum
bago, he hates a netting. The Century.
Martin Farquhar Tupper is living
in extreme poverty in London. Old ia
yvars, declining a health, the author
of "Proverbial Philosophy" lives de
prived of the luxuries and "not a few of
the necessities of life.
The will of the late Carrie J. Wel-
ton, of Waterburv, Conn., (who left the
bulk of her fortune to Mr. Bergh's so
ciety), gives seven thousand dollars for
a horse and cattle drinking fountain to
be built on the green in that town.
Hartford Post.
Dr. G. Johnson lately told the
British Medical Association of a patient
of his, fifty-five years old, who had
lived upon milk diet for five years. Ho
took a gallon of milk a day. but not a
nartichi of anv other food. This treat-
r . , i.-.. ..e 1:.-1..
51-tim
CI H.BII8CHE,
'llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel.
Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, trunfes,
valises, buggy tops, cushions, carnage
trimmings, &c, at the lowest possible
prices. Repairs pr mptly attended to.
LAWRENt'E,
r li.
DEPUTY CO. SURVEYOR.
Will do general surveying In Platte
and adjoining counties. Office with s. o.
Smith.
COLUMBUS,
NEBRASKA.
17-tf
JS. MURDOCK & SON,
Carpenter and Contractors.
Havehad an extended experience, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto iB, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitytoestimateforyou. 3rSbop on
13th St, one door west of Friedhof &
Co's. store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-v
O. C. SHANNON,
MANUFACTURER OF
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, Hoofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
IShop on Olive Street, 2 doors
north of Brodfeuhrer's JewelryStore.
46-y
p W.CLARK,
LAND AND INSURANCE AGENT,
HUMPHREY, NEBR.
HIb lands comprise some fine tracts
in the Shell Creek Valley, and the north
ern portion of Platte county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. Satisfaction
guaranteed. 20 y
flOLUSIBUS PACKING CO.,
COLUMBUS, - NEB.,
Packers and Dealers in all kinds or Dog
product, cash paid for Live or Dead Hog
or grease.
Directors. E. H Henry, Prest; John
Wiggius, Sec. and Treas.; L. Gerrard, S.
Cory.
Tired Birds.
Many of our birds fly several thou
sand miles every autumn, passing not
only over Florida, where they might
find perpetual summer, but over the
Gulf and far beyond into the greai summer-land
of the Amazon; after a short
stav returning again to the North, some
penetrating to the extreme shores of the
Arctic seas. How the small biros nyso
"Teat distances is almost incomprehen
sible; but I have seen many of our
small feathered friends on the little Key
of Tortugas, two hundred miles or more
from Cape Florida, tb jumping-ofl
place of tne United States. Great flocks
of them would alight upon the walls of
the fort, especially during storms, evi
dently thoroughly tired; but the next
day they were up and away off over
the great stretch of the Gulf and tho
Carribean Sea.
Numbers of the English bin's and
many from Northern Europe make
yearly voyages down into the African
continent; and careful observers state
that they have seen the great storks, so
common in uermany, moving aiong
high in the air, bearing on their broad
backs numbers of small birds thit had
taken fre passage, or were, perhaps,
stealing a ride. In these wonderful
migrations many birds are blown out
to sea and lost while others become so
fatigued and worn out that they will
alight upon boats. A New England
fisnerman, who, in the autum follows
his calling fourteen or fifteen miles out
from shore, informed me that nearly
everyday he had four or five small
birds as companions. They had wan
dered off from shore, or were flying
across the great bay on the lower coast
of Maine, and ha'd dropped down to
rest. One day the same fisherman fell
asleep while holding his line; and upon
suddenly opening nis eyes there sat a
little bird on his hand, demurely cock
ing its head this way and that, as if
wondering whether he was an old
wreck or a piece of driftwood. Chris
tian at Work.
For every inhabitant of the United
States the railroads carry about eight
tons of freight each year.
Tt is estimated that when the Wash
ington monument is completed its total
- "a. ?ii i-- mi tan ew
. W1U UO &L..L4V UUU.
was taken
iioforc the dying moment occurred. It
is said to bc'a most tragic tableau, and
a great achievement in the art of photo
graphy. Dumley was giving a little dinner
and everything was going on smoothly.
Dumlev is a very hospitable man, but
lacks self-possession. "I believe, Mr.
Dumlev," said one of his guests, an
old lady, "that you may help me once
more to the oysters. 1 ve eaten very
heartily of them already, but they are
simply delicious." "Certainly, ray
dear madam," replied Dumley, with
excess of hospitality. "I hope you
will eat all you want of them. We
have a fresh barrel in the cellar, and if
that isn't enough we know where we
can get Jane, pass Mrs. Lighteater
the celery." Detroit Post.
The extraordinary proficiency of
the Dutch Boers of South Africa in
marksmanship makes them dreaded
enemies. An Englishman who has
been hunting among them lately says
that he saw one lire hastily at a Diisiaru
which was flying about two hundred
yards distant aud send a rifle ball
through its body; but as this did not
wholly stop the bird, which flapped
rapidly along the ground, the Boer fired
a second time and cut off his head.
British soldiers dread with good reason
to face these sharpshooting bush
fighters, animated by the idea that they
are defending their firesides. The
Hour.
Dissolving Views.
Mr. De Blank "Here is a notice ol
Sergeant Ballantine'sbook on America,
entitled 'From the Old World to the
New!'"
Mrs. Dc Blank "What! That de
lightful English gentleman who dined
wfth us last season the author of a
book on this country? Oh! do read
the notice. I almost fell in love with
him."
Mr. De Blank (glancing down the
column) "He says that American
women far excel their English cousins
both in beauty "
"Oh, the darling!"
"And intellect"
"How delicious!"
"But that American cookingis abom
inable."
"The brute! I knew the moment I
set mv eyes on him that he was nothing
buta'mean, miserable, stuck-up prig,
who"
"He refers only to hotel cooking.
"Oh! Do get the book." Philadelphia
Call.
A Vermont storekeeper set a spring
gun in his store for twenty-two years
without bagging anything until tho
other night, when the old musket fell
down and shot him through both legs.
Burlington Free Press.
meut cured him of Bright's disease.
There lives near Dahlonega a fam
ily of people who have eyes 'scarcely
larger than a pea, and so small is the
opening between the lids that a person
a few foet off can't detect whether they
are open or closed. It is stated that
they can't see at all at night They
are'knowu far aud near as the little
eyed Howards. Atlanta Constitution.
The Mehdi is a radical total absti
nence man, ersn to coffee and tobacco,
which he won't even allow in his camp.
In fact, he lately gave a refugee ons
hundred aud fifty lashes for smoking a
cigarette. But he makes up for this by
having thirtv-nine wives, and keeps
within the fetter of the Mahometan
law, which allows only four wives at a
time, by an ingenious system of tem
porary divorce, by which lie always has
thirty-live spare wives in waiting.
Miss Nancv Collet who died in
Louisville, Ky. the other day, aged
ninety years, had for twenty-live years
been the sole occupant of a well-known
mansion in that city. So quiet was she
in her movements that for years the
house in which she lived was thought
to be uninhabited, and has long been
called the "haunted house." She was
a woman of peculiar character, and
spent her time m religious exercises
and knitting and quilting. Chicago
I'imcs.
Every one knows the story of a
gentleman's asking Lord North who
that "frightful woman was," and his
Lordship's answering, "That is my
wife." The other, to repair his bluu
der, said: "I did not mean her, but
that monster next to her." "O." said
Lord North, "that monster is my
daughter." With this story Frederick
Robinson, in his u.-ual absent, enthusi
astic wav, was one day entertaining a
lady whom he sat next to at dinner,
aud lo! the lady was Lady Charlotte
Lindsay the mon-ter in question.
"A LITTLE NONSENSE."
Mother to three-year-old, out for
a walk, after tea: "See the full moon,
Mabel!" Mabel (.Suffering from satia
tion): "Has the moon had supper,
too?" Current.
"I thought vou told me vou didn't
use tobacco.''' "I don't." "I3ut you
are iullinr a ciinir now." "Yes, but
that's only a live-center. No tobacco
in it." Iniliawtpolix Journal.
"What do our daughters need?"
asks, a writer. Well, we have come to
the conclusion that they nerfl about
everything under the sun -except
bread. Burlington Free Prrss.
Russian salad is jiut now a fashion
able dish. It is very much like the
proverbial boarding houe hah there
is everything in it. I'eMilt: A profound
mystery. Philadelphia lleeord.
"Curious, isn't it?" remarked Mrs.
Bascom. "Ib'ic I've been reading
these 'Notes on Husbandry,' regularly
eversince we subscribed to the Fanner,
and they haven't aid one word, so far
as I can see 'about husbands' or matri
mony either." Hurlintjton Free Press.
Doubtful flattery: Doctor "Vou
see. wifev. dear, I have pulled my pa
tient through, after all. A very crit
ie:il ease. I can tell vou." His wife
"Yes. dear hubby: but '.lieu you are so
clever in your profession. Ah. if I had
only known you live ears earlier-1 feel
certain mv" first hu.-band my poor
Thomas would have been saved."
II Pungulo.
A stupid vounir man, supposed to
he crack-brained, who was slighted by
the girls, very mode-tly asked a young
lad"if she "would let" him -pend the
evening with her." "No." -lie angrily
replied, "that s what I won't." "Why,"
replied he, "you needn't be so fussy. I
didn't mean this evening, but some
stormv one. when I can't go anywhere
el,c."lX Y. At-.
"Yes, this is a ery old dog," said
a spinster to a man who took an active
part in the camne harvest, "and we
should hate very much to have him
caught on the .-tYcet and locked up. I
am verv much attaehed to him, fori
ned to carrv li'in in my arms when lie
was a little puppv." " "Do you say.
miss, that he is a verv old dog and that
vou carried ?" "O!" she broke in.
recollecting that she Had compromised
herself, "I mean that he -he used to
be old when I was a little I mean that
mother used go on away from here
or I'll set the do,; on youVArkansaic
Traveler.
in tho
is verv particular that
ho
Thin Soup.
One of the highest officers
German army
his soldiers are properly fed. Ho is in
the habit of making unexpected visits
to the barracks and inspecting the
food in person. On the occasion of one
of these visits he perceived two soldiers
carrying a steaming boiler from the
kitchen.
"Put it down. Fetch a spoon,
commanded.
The astonished soldiers looked at
each other.
One of them rushed on, nut reap
peared in a few moments with a
spoon.
"I want to see what sort of soup you
wet," said the General, as he dived into
3ie boiler with the spoon, but as soon as
he had tasted it, he. spat it out, exclaim-
in,T:
"What sort of devil's broth is that?
It tastes like dish water. What is
anyhow?"
"That's just what it is. your excel
lency," replied the soldier. "ItTs thft
water the dishes were washed in."
Texas Sitings.
1
r '
p .1