"', THE JOURNAL. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11, 18S4. Isttr:i it the ri:2:9, C:l: el::: sitter. ztzz, ITct.. a: ::k;1- TOO LATE. What silences we keep year after year. With those who are most near to us and dear; We lire beside each other day by day. And speak of myriad things, hut seldom say The lull, sweet word that lies just In our reach. Beneath the commonplace of common speech. Then out of sight and out of reach they g These clo:c familiar friends, who loved us o; And. sitting- in the shadow they have left. Alone, with loneliness, and sore bereft. We think with vain regretof some fond word. That once we might have said and they have heard. For weak and poor the love that we expressed Now seems beside the vast, sweet unexpressed. And slight the deeds we did, to those undone. And small the service spent, to treasure won. And undeserved tiie praise, for word and deed That should have overflowed the simple need. This is the cruel cross of life, to be Full visioned only when the ministry Of death has been fulfilled, and in the place Of some dear presence is butempty space. What recollected services can then Give consolation for the ml'jhl lia.ee hten. Nora l'errv, in ?'. 1'. lndeendcnt, m A TDSSLE WITH A TREE. I imagined it would tako me about half an hour to put tip some boxes for the accommodation of the blue birds amid the branches of the magnificent oak which stands in the rear of my house. This oak is the pride of my estate. It is erect, lofty, symmetrical, now in its fullest vigor a temple not built with hands more marvelous in con struction than anjT palace ever erected, and, in my brother man's estimation, good chielly for firewood or railroad ties. In the endeavor to placo the bird houses on it I find that perversity dwells among its branches. Or perhaps its desire is not to be meddled with in any wa' a feature of strong character and marked individuality, whether in men, women or oaks. I wanted to put the boxes on the oak about twenty feet from the ground. I erected a ladder against the tree. Tho tree refused to allow the ladder to rest solidly against its massive trunk. Whichever wa I directed that ladder it fell against small but stout branches stout as steel springs. These fought tho ladder and 'warded it oft against too near approach. I tried to insinuate the ladder between these crabbed, obstinate little branches. They resisted intelligently all such tac " tics. ' Where the ladder's end edged in a little on one side, a cat's claw of ft branch managed to catch it oa. the other. Meantime I, myself, the human, moving machine at the ladder's foot, was expending much force in these vain efforts. For it was an old and very heavy ladder a iiouse pai&ter's ladder. I saw that I must cut these branches off. I could not reach them from the ground so to do. Nor could I saw them off by getting on the ladder as it leaned against them, since to do this might be to saw myself off in a sense. The axe failed to "cut them off because I could not get in a position to deal an effective blow. I had recourse to a handsaw. I would saw from the top of my step ladder. Posting the step-ladder at tho foot of the tree proved another difficult opera lion, for the ground was uneven, and it was necessary to level off a placo to give the base : secure hold. At this time it occurred to me that I was a long way oft' f ron placing those blue bird boxes. Every movo thus developed and necessary in this under taking seemed to cany mo farther from tho aim first sought thatof nailing the boxes to the tree. I had commenced with tho endeavor to placo a ladder against the trunk, found mind and body intercepted by those, obstinate branches, had left the branches and now found mj-self at work with a pick and shovel on the ground. I thought to myself: 4,1 wonder how far I must travel away from those boxes in lliis fashion in order to get them? Is this one of those af fairs in life, seeming so easy of accom plishment, really so difficult, which looks as if it could bo done in a day, and which may require years? At all events, the allair is assuming tho aspect of a sort of game, or rather combat, be tween myself and ihU tree, and I'm going to drop all hurry and anxiety to place the oes and see which of us, myself or the tree, are to bo masters of the situation." "The step-ladder sided with tho tree, and was umvtusonably particular in getting a lex el base now toppling as I stood on it ovef on this side, now on that in a deeripit, helpless sort -of fashion. It was a striking example, in its seeming efforts to overturn me, of what a friend calls "the total depravity of inanimate things." At last I mounted this ladder and commenced operations with the saw on branch No. 1. Tim branch being green and full of sap, the saw stuck and hung in an obstinate manner. Being on the top board of tho step-ladder ni' footing wasshaky and uncertain. 1 sawed? worried by the thought of a possible broken neck or leg, and ex perienced great wear and tear of mind and body in consequence. Branch No. 2 required a change of location for the step-ladder and another secure level for its base. So did branch No, 3. By tho time the three branches were off I found myself forgeting the original in tent of all this work, and even wonder ing at times what I was working for. The branches were at last out of my way and all seemed plain sailing i raised the heavy ladder against" the tree. It rested securely against the trunk. I mounted it with one of the boxes in my hands, got two-thirds of the way to the ladders top, heard some thing crck ominouslv and found that the left ladder upright had a diagonal split running throught it, was threaten ing every instant to part, and that my neck was in greater danger than ever. I descended rapidly, but carefully, from the ladder. Another instance of the total depravity of inanimate things. Thero was nothing to do but repair the ladder. The placing of the bird boxes on the tree had retired farther in tho distance than ever. I said then to myself: "I wonder where this under taking will carry me ere it is finished ? mat new thing shall I find necessary to incorporate into this job? Perhaps it may bring me to the repairing of my hen-coop. It may take me to the city to get some needed article. It may carry me to Europe. I may be obliged to consult with lawyers and juristsTall through some indirect operation or development growing out of this blue bird box busmess. It has already cost me two and a half hours' labor, and I expected to accomplish it in thirty min ?!:," ,But am now prepared for war. I will devote the whole day to this un dertakingperchance two whole days. 1 repaired the ladder carefnllv til ing braces both within and without the broken upright- I placed it in position and mounted it, carrying a bird box with me. Arrived at the ladder's too I uuuu uumu nut cnmo roe tree to the spot where I desired to nail tho box with the box in my hands. So I went down the ladder again and placed' the box on the ground.' Then I went up the ladder so far as it reached, and henceforth took to climbing. More ob stacles presented themselves. Branches got directly in the way. Twigs scratched my face and-tried" to put out "my eyes, fiits of rotten branches and dry bark dislodged and fell into my eyes. There was more cutting away to be done. I descended the ladder for my hatchet, got it, and trimmed a road up the tree. All as I supposed being teadjfcl descended again for tfiabox and remounted. It was necessary toj take with me a hammer, a gimlet atid some, nails. I tied the hammer aboutj my neck with a card and put the nails, and gimlet in my vest pocket. Arrived at the place where I would nail the box, I found it necessary to use the hatchet5 Common sense or a few seconds thought might have taught me that as. the hatchet would probably be needed again it should have been stuck by the blade in the. trae. No. I had pitched it from the tree on the ground. So I went down the ladder again for the katchet These continual ascents and descents began now to alarm me. They seemed endless, and at the present rate I could vaguely see more and more in the dim, distance of futurity before tha boxes were fastened. I finished with the hatchet and was turning the current of my thoughts on the hammer when, that instrument being tied, so to speak, by the necki suddenly as I leaped over a branch turned a somersault, slipped through the knot and fell straight to the ground. It fell wonderfully straight through thq branches, and onrea-jhing the ground lay there with a dull, sullen "come down-f rom-there-and-pick-me-up' ex pression. I did not come down immediately. 1 leaned over the branch and swore at that hammer. But it did not rise. Then it occured to me how amusing all this might be to any third party who had nothing to do but look on aud seo the performance. I said: "Why should I not be the third party P" But I re minded myself that the third party had nothing to do but sit down and bei amused, whereas I had all these per petual ascensions and descensions to make besides being amused. The con- tract was too large. I could not bq thoroughly amused and do all the work besides. So I descended again with what patience I could summon. 1 picked the hammer up. I wanted to wring its neck. But what comes from wringing a hammer's neck? Naught save the necessity of buying a new hammer. The hammer was picked up as it d-, sired to be. Again I climbed the lad-? der. In the midst of an apparently speedy .dispatch of tho labors a new. trouble presented itself. The tree had changed its tactics and called a new' ally to its aid. This ally was a hen one of my hens. My back door and onlv door had been left open. This hen had entered, was. on my table consuming the remains of my breakfast and threatening destruc tion with her awkward legs and claws) to my crockery. It is this particular hen that annoys me in this way more than all the rest. While they are ofl! foraging in the field she hangs around that back door bent on thieving ana plunder. I cried out "Shoo!" from above sev eral times to no purpose. She wouldn't "shoo!" She paid me no respectful at tention whatever. She knew well enough she had plenty of time to clear out of the house before I could get down from the tree. I made. her sev eral threatening remarks. She cocked up one eye, winked at me in a contempt out manner, and calmly went on peck ing. I threw several twigs in the house to no purpose. I descended the ladder and wrathfully drove her out She went out as hens general do from any pent up place, by the longest possible way, with great risk to window panes and fragile articles from her fluttering wings, and with a great cackle and out cry, as if she deemed it an outrageous Erocccding on my part thus to disturb cr while peacefully engaged in con-! verting the breakfast scraps into fresh eggs"for my own use, which cackle and outcry was re-echoed by the head roosters of her community in the field, as if they too concurred and heartily seconded her opinion of me. So rebuked I climbed once mora the, ladder, and put myself in position for nailing on the boxes a work of some difficulty, since I was obliged to make) my body conform to the shape and re-' quirements of the tree and the various divergences and contour of its trunk and branches. Effecting one position,. I found Xhat in it I could not strike a1 blow with the hammer through the interference of a hostile little limb. In, another I could not pull the uails from; my vest pocket. I found myself for thel work immediately in hand constantly lacking in the requisite number of legs: and arms. It seemed to ma I could have kept then and there employed six: or eight more of these members. realized then the great advantages for such kind of work possessed by certain1 monkeys who could have slung them selves airily and gracefully from a branch by their strong and flexible ex- tension of vertebra;, leaving all the. arms and legs free for other uses. I was so reflecting when I heard a tiny, modest drop to earth. It was the gimlet for which I had immediate use. It had fallen from a vest pocket A few nails gently pattered after it Then there was wrath. But to what purpose? Gimlets on the earth respond and rise no more to expletives than do hammers. The gimlet would not come to me. I went by the old and usual route to tho gimlet, wondering as again I wearily climbed the ladder if patience to work oat one's salvation must like eternity, be infinite, and if one's charity must bo stretched to cover this total depravity of inanimate hammers and gimlets. I nailed the boxes in position. All now seemed to work smoothly. I finished the work and went down the ladder as I supposed for the last time. I surveyed those four boxes with pride and admiration. I took away the ladder and lugged it afar to a distant corner. 1 resurveyed the boxes and discovered that one of them was hanging by a shred of bark shaking with the breeze, as the nail had not penetrated to the. wood of the tree, thus proving again the total depravity of inanimate things. I would not succumb. All my prida and stubbornness was now aroused. I had ceased to regard the placing of those boxes on the tree as of the "fire importance. This with me had been superseded by the desire of winning in this game or contest with my splendid but stubborn oak. I re-erected tho ladder, refastencd the box, and then waited to see what new ugliness on tho oak's part would come. But none came. 1 had conquered. During the week several house-hunting birds have inspected these apart ments. They seem difficultto suit and make no choice. I thought when I commenced writing this story there was a moral concealed in it somewhere or hanging to its skirts. Now that I have finished It I can't find any. I deem it more kind and con siderate to leave the reader to find his or her own moral and apply it where it is needed. I have in the past too much erred in going round slapping moral mustard plasters on people's skins re gardless whether they wanted them or not Prentice Mulord, in N. Y. Graphic - It is understood that this season the Concord School of Philosophy will issue pamphlets bearing such titles as will make them read even by the young, and in spite of the abstruse subjects discussed. To catch the restless eye of the youthful lover of yellow literature, these new works will probably be en Sr"?? the Pretty Protoplasm," r r d Mlke the Avenging Molecule of .Massachusetts," or "Bully Bill, the Bacteria." Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. ' A wholesale toh ?ai. t v York City claims that cigarette smoking is dying out and that 14,000,000 less cigarettes wore sold in 1883 than is A Philosopher in Rags. Say, boys, did yer see my pard about, here? Tho speaker was 'sitting on a stone wall by tho roadside in Dorches ter about dark last night The speaker; was of medium height and rather slim.j Ho wore a skull cap and an ill-fitting coat His shirt had probably been white onco. His trousers had seen better days. On one foot was a congress shoo and on the other a large boot His face needed to be" shaved. He was a tramp. "Xour pard? How did you happen to lose him?" asked some one. "Well,.yer -see, we were sittin' on a fence up the road there and a cop came along aud told U3 to git Pard, he skipped, and I told him I would meet him down the road here. I wasn't afraid of the cop; I sat there and had a chin with him. I guess pard will turn up. Have j'ergot any terbaccer?" Some tobacco was produced. "Yor see, boys," continued the man. "I arrived in town this morning; just came from Putnam, Conn. Came up on the New York & New England. Did yer know it? That's a good road to travel on. I met three of the old boys on the train." "Did you have to pav any fare?" 'Well, I guess not; 1 came up on the freight. Tne brakeman on that train is a smart chap; he played a good trick on me. Yor see, I was on tho roof of one of the box cars, and thinking that it would not do for him to see me, I crawled down into the ear as he came along. He saw me, and what did he do but lock the door, and of course that locked mo up in tho car. Bimeby he came along and asked mo what station I wanted to get off at, and I told him Hyde Park, and when wo i-got there he opened tho door and let me out" "Yes; what are the best roads to ride on deadhead?" "The Boston and Albany is n. g.; so is the Providence. The Fitchburg is the bull' road, and the Old Colony pretty near as good." "Were you ever in Boston before?" "Yes, plenty of times. Boston is the darling place to live in, if a feller has plenty of money. If I ever strike a for tune I am coming to Boston to live." "Are you married?" "Yes; I left my wife In New York. She was a tough un." "How did you happen to leave her?" "She had three bad habits eating, smoking and drinking and it cost too much to support her; just the same with all women." "Do3'ou ever do any work?" "Very seldom ; the doctor says that work will injure my health. I had a job offered me about a month ago. A man down in Hartford said he would give me S150 a month ta run an eating house for him. You know I am just taking a vacation, and 1 didn't want to break it for any such position as that. Work and I had a falling out. I ain't lazy, but I guess I was born tired and never got over it" Do you find any troublo in getting enough to eat?" "Yes. I generally keep something ahead, though." Here the tramp un buttoned his Prince Albert and dis played an inside pocket tilled with food and cigar stubs. He began to analyze the stuff. "That piece of cake I bummed from a little kid up the street; those apples were given to me by the old man that keeps the bakehouse out near Hyde Park; that piece of bread I got from a philanthropic old lady who 'Jives in the large, old-fashioned'houso up at a place called Mount Bowdoin. She asked me if I didn't want a job sawing wood out in her barn. I told her that I was in a hurry to get to Xrfiwcll to see raf wife, who was dying of consumption. This touched the old lady's heart, aud she gave me ten cents. I giiess I have got enougli for a couple of days." "What do vou find tho hardest stuft to get hold of?" "Tobacco and money. I can get along without money, but without the obaeco I am gone. The other day a man offered me a glass of whisky, but I told him I would rather have a phew. He didn't have a plug, but he gave me a dime and I bought one." "Do you find any troublo in getting enough to drink?"" Canada is the placo to get the pure old whiskj- an.d plenty of it; but over in Detroit the darned rascals mako three barrols out of one of tho Canada barrels. They adulterate it; but thst is business, and they make money oufr of it. I started to go into that house there, but I saw a dog laying out on tho back piazza, and I thought I had better skip. 1 ain't afraid of dogs, but this one was ugly looking." "Where aro you going to sleep to night?' F "I have bcon down to the police sta tion, but I don't like the looks of the ranche, and there's too many cops lay ing around. I guess I will go out to phe Milton station house; they furnish good feed out there; down hero thoy don't Milton s t!9 daisy place for grub; there's none of yer brass-buttoned peelers around there." "Where are you going to strike for when you leave this place?" . "I was thinkin' of goin' over to Europe, but its hard to beat a passage on a steamer, and if they happen to ketch you they will make yer work yer passage. So I have kinder given uu the jidea. I guess I will go West. Well, hoys, must skip; here comes a cop. If you see a chap that looks like me, and .answers to the name of Jim, send him along. Good day." Boston Globe. m 9 On the Next Block. After walking up and down several times past a Gratiot Avenue clothiner dealer's yesterday, a stranger halted and said to the man at the door : "Do you remember me, sir?' "Not shust oxactly, my f rendt Who vhas you?" "I'm the man who paid you twenty leight dollars for a suit of bottle-green .clothes last October, and inside of a ,week the moths ate 'em up!" "You doan' say so!" "You bet I do, and I'm here to get satisfaction!" "Myfrendt you make a dreadful ;mistake. All der moths in dis store 'vhas in der sky-blue suits for fourteen (dollars. If dot man on der next block jkeeps his in der pottle-green suits for Itwenty-eight dollars dot jhas all right 'No two men do pecsness alike. Only, if you go up dere I vhish you to tell ,him for me pefore you punch .his head dot if he keeps his moths in der pottle green suits he vhill soon haf to shut up shop. Der shade makes eafery insect color-blind in ten days." Detroit Frei Press. m m Richly Deserved It A man, with a decided expression of intelligence, went to a pension bureau 'the other day and said to the manager: "I think that I am entitled to a pen ion." "Were you wounded ?" "No. sir; was never in the army." 'Have you been disabled in any way while serving the country ?" "No." "Then why should you receive a pen sion ?" The applicant removed his hat and displayed a bald head, "Look on top," said he. "Do you see any attempt to bring two hairs from the back of my neck, and wind them around on the top of my head ? No, of course you don't Am I not the first man who has not attempted to conceal his baldness with two hairs ? Of course I am. I think ,that the government should reward .such originality." Bill, said the manager, "make ont pension papers for this gentlseaan." Arkansaw Traveller. MISCELLANEOUS. Rev. Dr. Parkhurst, of New York, defines that parental fondness which ruins so many children nowadays as 'love that has lost its wits." The constitution of Alabama for bid; tho formation of any new county of lesi area than six hundred square miles, or the formation of a new county of that size if it reduces any old county below that minimum. The Connecticut Legislature has settled it. A bill was introduced a short lime ago to tax geese and bachelors, and was opposed" by a Mr. Harrison, who said that there already was a bill taxing geese, and a man wno had lived a bachelor to the age of thirty would come under it Chicago Herald. Governor Cleveland, of New York, has signed the bill prohibiting the man ufacture and sale of oleomargarine. This has created a bree.e among the manufacturers of that article, whohava large amounts of capital invested in the business, and who are loudly de nouncing the measure as unconstitu tional and unjust. They declare that they will defy the law and let tho courts decide on its validity. Ar. Y. Herald. It is said that the scene of the re cent Vedder-Pearson tragedv at Luna Island, Niagara Falls, is the precise spot, where, in 1850. a young man named Addidgton playfully threatened to throw the little sister of his be throthed (who, with her mother, com pleted the party visiting the spot) into the rapids. The child shrieked and sprang from his arms into the swift running water. He instantly jumped in to save her and both were lost Buffalo Express. From experiments made upon the pulse and temperature as affected by smoking, it has been found that tho. rate of both is increased. Let the aver age temperature of non-smokers bo represented by 1,000, then that of mod erate smokers would be 1,003, and while the heart of the" former class was making 1,000 beats, in the latter there would be 1,180 in the same space of time. Tiiis quickening of tho action of: the heart is consitiered a dangerous symptom. Chicago Tribune. A Chicago museum exhibits a double-headed cow, described as follows: "This cow has two well-formed heads of e jual size and is well armed with four brass-tipped horns, The main head possesses all the features of a bright and intelligent member of the bovine family, but the other other lacks the expressive eyes. However, the ani mal sees, hears, and breathes with both heads, eats with one and drinks with the other. The body is perfect and handsome, the cow being a full-blood Durham." "Thar; I want you to collect that and put it to my credit," said old Farmer Applegate to the cashier of the First National Bank of Manasquan, N. J., a few days ago. The cashier exam ined the faded-looking piece of paper handed to him, and found it to be a cheek for $270, drawn by a New York merchant in 1872 in favor of the farmer. It appeared that the check had been given in payment for a load of cranber ries, and had been hidden during the past twelve years in tho farmer's feather bed. It was sent. to the merchant aud duly honored. AT. Y. Mail. One of the bloody customs among the Hindoos of a certain class is to re quire every woman, previous to piercing the ears of her eldest daughter prepar atory to her being betrothed in mar riage, to undergo the amputation of the first joints of the third and fourth fingers of her right hand. The ampu tation is performed by the blacksmith of the village, who, having placed the finger in a block, performs the opera tion with a chisel. If the girl to be betrothed be motherless and the mother of the boy have not before been sud jected to tho operation it is incumbent on her to sutler tho operation. A Massachusetts Yankee went to California several years ago, got dead broke, and was on the point ofstarving to death. He then joined the Piutes at tho Pyramid reservation. Ho remained there until ho had fully mastered tho language and habits of his dusky friends, and then painting himself and assuming tho garb of the red men went to Walker Lake, where, in coasidera tion of his able advice in the councils of the tribe, he was elected a chief and allowed three wives. He says that, although he sometimes longed for news from the Bay State, he was perfectly content to remain where he was, as he found the r.oaming, independent life of the Piutes just the thing fora man tired of the busy scenes of civilization. Boston Herald. Faith in Popular Gullibility. Faith in the exhaustible credulity of the masses has been the foundation of many a charlatan's fortune. At tho time of the South Sea Bubble, when new projects of the most wild and pre posterous character found promoters with ease, an astute and audacious ad venturer advertised for subscriptions to an enterprise the nature of which was to be concealed for a certain time, and he actually made several thousands of pounds out of it, the people paying for shares with blind eagerness. With this adventurer deserves to be ranked the ingenious but unprincipled American citjzen who has just been arrested for doing an extensive business in adver tising all manner of enticing things to be sent on the reeeipt of postage stamps. Cases of this kind have occurred before, but then tfie impostors usually sent something, however fraudulent, in re turn for the stamps. This genius, how ever, had made no provision whatever in that way. He simply appropriated the stamps, and refrained from answer ing the letters ; and though so reckless a swindle would seem certain to come to grief in a short time, he appears to have kept it up and made considerable profits by it for several months. He also advertised largely through the newspa pers, never paying them, but giving them references to aliases of his own, and himself answering all letters In quiring about his character. The defect in his plan was that it was certain sooner or later to become the subject of investigation, and the moment it was inquired into the truth came out The number of swindlers who have waxed fat on similar but more care fully devised schemes is no doubt very considerable. The rogues who engi neer them rely upon the desire of most people to get much for little. They know that the greed of gain often ob scures the judgment, and'that though all cool-headed business men suspect offers of the kind, remembering the Duke of Wellington's maxim that "good interest means bad security," yet there are always plenty ready to spring at any bait, if it is only gaudy and glittering enough. The so-called sawdust" sharpers who pretend to sell counterfeit money, and send the victim a box of sawdust act upon a shrewd knowledge of the baser ele ments in human nature. They select for their dupes persons who are willing to be knaves themselves, and whose awn knavery shuts their mouths when .hey find out the swindle. Probably no professional sharpers would enter upon io very bold a game as the young man f the postage stamps-played, for as ney mean to make their living by their 7its they dare not thus openly adver se their dishonesty. Butthe.fact that ich a trick should have been so suc sssf ul, and that it should have been carried on for so long a 'time without; iatection shows that the crop of gulls! tontinues to be as large as ever, and! ihat whatever else fails (here is no! prospect of "shortage" in that Una ef production. Jff. Y. Tribune, feV' rm 111 !ja79l f CO , "1 m i i O 3 p 3 "3 CO - CO I I CO PCI h r CO i iii WW , THE NEW CASADAY is the lightest draft and plow in the market. -HALLIDAY- WIND MILLS. SUCTION, KOKCE AND Lift PUMPS. GAS PIPE, PIPE TONGS, ETC. KRAUSE, LUBKER These goods, which for style and finish and the perfect manner of doing their work, are unexcelled. The "TAIT" is the simplest, best and most durable check rower made. CD LLl o tif jz; PS i i - fe ! 02 p Ce)- 5 -DC LLi O CO C2 Full Hue of "EIYERSIDE" Stoves. Call and buying elsewhere. (Mo: r If you want to do goods and get Our prices. Thirteenth Street, KRAUSE, LUBKER -& DEALERS IN: SHELF AND HOLLOW -c. Li-v ? i r ". . - j ! 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