Nebraska Newspapers

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THE JOTJBNAI..
ISSUED EVE2T WEDXEaDAY,
3kl. Iv. TURNER & CO.,
Proorietors and Publishers.
I3" OFFICE, Eleven St.. vp tairs i
is Journal Building.
TEEMS:
Per rear . . .
Six months
Three month
Single copies
.-
BTJSDJESS CAZDS.
D.T. Mahtyx. 31. D. F. J. s-CHTG. M. D.
Drs. MAETYS & SCETJG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons.
Local Sunreon-. t"ni.n Pacin 0 X.
X B. H.and K.Jt M R. R'-
Con.nltation in German and Ensli-ii
Telephoner- it offi-e atd residences.
COLUMBUS. - NEBRASKA.
4i-v
T DOl'CIIERTY. 31. S-
PHTIClAXd: SCBGEOX.
2"Offi-e -e.'und d "K.r east of pcst-oflire
51 -v
J.
I. n'IL(O.V 71. ..
FHTICIAX . Tii1 ffO.V.
Disea.-es of woin-n and children a spe
cialty. Countv .bt-.u-i-iu. OSce former
ly occupied by Dr. Bone-teel. Telephone
exchange. "
o
LLA ASI1BAI Gil. D.D.S.
DEXTArL PABLO B.
On corner ci E;et:h and North -treet.-oer
Eru-'.'- uardware store.
C
OK3ELII"5i A: JiL'LLIVA.'V.
ATTOIiXEYS-AJ-LA W,
rp tair- in Glues Building, lltn street,
Above lUe New bank.
H.
J. HS'l!0.
XOTARY PUBLIC.
12th Street, i Jonrs w-.: of Hammond Boost,
Columtrts. .Wfc. W-?
rpilUKSXO A: POWKKJi,
UEGEUX DEXTISTS,
JSTOSW m Mi:, hell Block, Colum
bus. Nebra-ka. H-tf
J.
a. BEEDKK,
A TTORXEY A T LA W,
Oriiee on nine -t.. .lumbu-. Xebra-ka.
2-tf
V. A. MACKEN,
RKaLKR in
Foreign md I'omestic Liquors and
Cigars
llth -trewt. i olumbus Neb. 50-y
M
c.llJ.ISTEK BKOXm
.4 TTORXEYS AT LA W,
office up--tair- in McAllister's build
insr. llth -:. W. A. McAllister, Notary
Public
J. M. MjkCFARLAXD.
E. K. COWDEllY.
LAW AND I'OLLElTloX OFFICE
OF
MACFAR1.AND & COWDEE2",
Ctfumhws. : : Xebrasla.
F. F. RI.'.'VEIE. .71. D
I sucreor to Dr. i . G. A. Hullhor-t )
HOMEOPATHIC PHY SI CI AX AXD
rEGEOX.
Retrolar graduate of two medieal col
lege. nV l:ve St.. one-half block
north -i IljiBUind House. 2-1 y
C. M. SWEEZEY,
Land. Loan and Insurance,
HUMPHREY, NEB.
Mm v u- lan on Ion;r .uart time on
Real E-'talr in -urn- to -ut pariies. l-y
J. J. .7IAlIlA3i.
Justice. ountu Surveyor, Xotary,
Land and Collectiuii Agent.
J3Jlartie desirmr surveying done can
lUfv me mail at Platte Centre, Neb.
noufv me
Til-Cm
T H.RUsiCHE,
llth St, opposite Lindell Hotel.
Sell Harnes. Saddles. Collar, Whips.
Blanket, L urry C oiau-, Brube-. trunks,
valises. burv " top-, cushions, carriage
trimming-. Ac, at the lowest possible
prices. Repairs pr mptly attended to.
at "Which per-on of either sex, youns or
old, can make irrtat pay all the time they
work, with ab-oluie certainty, write for
particulars to H. Hallet .fc CO Port
land. Maine.
GEOEGE SP005EE,
COXTBACTCB FOB ALL KLXDS OF
HAbOX' WORK.
Office, Thirteenth St. between Olive
and Nebraska Avenue. Residence on the
corner of Ehrhth and Olive.
AH. Work Guaranteed,
4S-tf
JS. MURDOCK & SON,
Carpenters and Contractors.
Have had an extended experience, and
will cuarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is. Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitvto estimate for you. 3TShop on
13th Su. one door west of Friedhof &
Co's. store. Columbus. Nebr. 4S3-T
o. c. sHjsnsrorT
3LOTCTACTCHER OF
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
' Job-Work, Hoofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
gTShop on Eleventh Street, opposite
Heintz's Drac Store. 46-y
p Tf. CLABE,
LASD AND IXST7BAXCE AGEXT,
HUMPBRET, XEBR.
His lands comprise some fine tracts
in the Shell Creek Valley, and the north
era portion of Pl?tte county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. Satisfaction
guaranteed. 20 y
OLUTTBCS PACKING CO-,
COLUMBUS, - XEB.,
Packers and Dealers in all kinds of Hoc
product, cash paid for Live or Dead Hogs
or grease.
Directors. R. H Henry, Prest.; John
Wirrgins, Sec and Treas.; L. Gerrard, S.
CorV.
-jCTOTICE XO XEACIIKRS
J. E. Moncrief, Co. Supt-,
"Will be in his office at the Court House
on the third Saturday of each
aaonth for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, and
for the transaction of any other business
pertaining to schools. 567-y
3 M
O.'
Affl a -week at home. $5.00 outfit
Hfff free. Pav absolutely sure. No
fJjXJ J risk. Capital n t required.
Tirt..r if tou want busiuess
j he
VOL. XV.-NO. 7.
COLUMBUS
STATE BANK!
G0LTJXBTJ5, 5E3..
CASH CAPITAL, - $50,000
DIRECTORS:
LsAXDF.n Geueard, Presl.
Geo. W. riuLST, Vice Pres't.
Julius A. Rked.
Edwaud A. Geeeaed.
J. E. Taskeu, Cashier.
o
ISnxilc oT Wepo-it, DLcoant
aaii KicbaBRe.
Collections Promptly .flade ob
a.11 Pol Ml
Pay 2atret ob Time Iepo-
D. J. DRKBKKT.
IHA B. BEIGGLK.
"
-THIS-
CITIZENS" BANK!
HOrPHREY, NEB.
o
ISTFrompt attention given to Col
lections. jSTPay Interest on time deposits.
jSTTnsurance, Passage Tickets and
Real Estate Loans. 3-tf
LINDSAY&TKEKELL.
WIU)LESALE AXD RETAIL
FLOOR M EEED STORE!
OIL CAKE,
CHOPPED FEED,
Bran, Shorts,
BOLTED i ESBQLTD EQil MEAL.
GRAHAM FLOUR,
AND FOUR KINDS OF THE BEST
WHEAT FLOUR ALWAYS
ON HAND.
25TA11 kind of FRUITS in their sea
on. Orders promptly tilled.
lltli Street, Columbus, 'clr.
47-0 ui
HENRY G-ASS.
TJlSTDETrlT A XEB !
C0FPIXS AXD METALLIC CASES
AXD DEALEB Ef
Furnitirre, Chairs, Bedsteads. Bu
reaus Tables, Safes. Lounges.
Sec. Picture Frames and
Mouldings.
TSTBepairiag of all kinds of Upholstery
Goods.
6-tf
COLUMBUS. NEB.
GOLD
for the working cla
Send 10 cents for potaie.
and we will mail you free
a royal, vaiuaoie oox oi
sample goods that will put you in the way
of making more money in a few day- than
you ever thoucht po-sible at any busi
ness. Capital not required. We will
start you. You can work all the time or
in spare time only. The work is univer
sally adapted to both sexes, younz and
old." You can easily earn f-om 50 cents to
$5 every evening." That all who want
work may test the business, we make
this unparalleled offer; to all who are not
well satisfied we will send $1 to pay lor
the trouble of writing u-. Full particu
lars, directions. etc sent free. Fortune
will be made by those who rive their
whole time to the work. Great success
absolutely sure. Don't delay, start now.
Address Sttsson .fe Co., Portland. Maine.
A WORD OF 1VAKI3;.
FARMERS, stock raisers, and all other
interested parties will do well to
remember that the "Western Horse and
Cattle Insurance Co.' of Omaha is the
only company doins business in this state
that insures" Horses, ilules and Cattle,
against loss by theft, accidents, diseases,
or injury, (as also against loss by fire and
lightning). All representations by agents
of ether Companies to the contrary not
withstanding. HENRY GARN, Special AstX
15-y Columbus, feb.
TAJTtES SALMON,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
frame or brick building. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near
at. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus. Ne
braska. 52 6mo.
J. WAGNER,
Liverv and Feed Stable.
Is prepared to furnish the public with
good teams, buggies and carriages for all
occasions, especially for funerals. Alo
conducts a sale stable. 44
LYON&HEALY
ft sane SisChfcafB.
WmMBipipni1UmayAMtiMfc-l
BAKO CATALOGUE.
W la-3. D cm. UO Emraa
laoiaM :m. cp aeda.
l. umittk t-Mttjaa
Drnm SIsrS Sua. asd
Ssadrr a4 Ocr&m TTiwHn
b aJM ISriSldsi XsUTQcdBB ftBA EX"
tm Aaalwr BuA, and a
f
EK- y- A m . J -jS
jLhBB
mtt
WWStoSZ
FIRST
National Bank !
COZ.XTSCBX7S. NEB
AntLorizeti Capital,
Paid In Capital.
Surplus and Profits,
$250,000
50,000
- 6,000
0FFICEES KD DIBECTOEs.
A. ANDERSON. Pres't.
SAM'L C. SMITH. Vice Pres't.
O. T. ROEN. Cashier.
J. w. EARLY.
HERMAN OEHLRICH.
W. A. MCALLISTER,
G.ANDERSON.
P. ANDERSON!
Foreign and Inland Exchange. Passage
Tickets ana Real Estate Loans.
29-vol-13-ly
COAL i LIME!
J.E.iA70RTH&C0..
DEALERS IN
Coal,
Lime,
Hair,
Cement.
Cock Spin? Coal
Carbou (Wrouiiu?) Cual.
EMou i Iowa) Coa!
.$7.00 per ion
.. 6.00 "
.. 1.50
Blacksmith Coal of best quality al
ways on hand at low
est prices.
Nortli Side Eleventh St..
COLTJM3U3. NEB.
14-.n
UNION PACIFIC
LAND OFFICE.
Improved and Unimproved Farms,
Hay and Grazing Lands and City
Property for Sale Cheap
AT THE
Union Pacific Land Office,
On Long Time and loic rate
of Interest.
STFinal proof made on Timber Claim-,
flome-teud.. and Pre-emption-.
I3A11 wishing to buy land- of any d--Tiitiin
will jlea-.e call and examine
m. list of land- before looking el-e where
JC-All liTivinif lands to -ell will nlease
call and give me a deei iptton. t.rra .
pnoes. etc.
J3"I a so am prepared to iu-uri prop
erty, a I have tne agency of -veral
firsY-class Fire insurance eompanie-.
F. W. OTT, solicitor, -peaks German.
SA.ni'EI, C.SJ1ITH,
Coiumbu-. Nebra-ka.
3,1-tf
BECKER & WELCH,
PROPRIETORS OF
SHELL CREEK MILLS.
MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN
FLOUR AND MEAL.
OFFICE, COL UJfB US. XEB.
SPEICE & NORTH,
General Agents for the Sale of
REAL ESTATE.
Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific
R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to $10.00
per acre for cash, or on dye or ten years
time, in annual payments to suit" pur
chasers. We have also a large and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, for sale at low price and
on reasonable terms. Also business and
residence lots in the city. "We keep a
complete abstractor titleto all real es
tate in Platte County.
621
COLmBi: 31 EB.
LOUIS SCHKEIBEE,
BlacMiaiWaiiMaler.
All kinds of Repairing done on
Short Xotiee. Bnggies, Wag
ons, etc., made to order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-famous Walter A.
Wood Ifowers. Heapers. Combin
ed "Machines, Harvesters,
and Self-binders the
best made.
"Shop opposite the "TattersalL" on
OUve St COLUMBUS. 2Si
fMtwitra
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. JUNE 11,
AppeAraaees and Impressions.
Things are not always what they
seem, and vet most men and women
form impressions at first sight- The
impression mav be of a
pleasant and
ecstatic nature or of an epposita char'
acter. In the natural world one is
Awed into reverence and fear at the
warring of the elements, melted into
pity at the calamities which overwhelm
and crush the hearts and homes of the
more unforranate among humanity,
inspired by admiration when contem
plating the wonders of the visible heav
ens or the picturesque landscape.
Flowers and music tend to smooth
down and soften the asperities of na
tures which the world would cau
rough, and kind words and gentle
smiles excite the more genial ana love
able moods into activity. One of the
strangest things for reflection is that
hardly any tw-b persons form the same
impressions of men and things. The
eye may be deceived by what is known
as optical illusion and the ear deficient
in its sense of hearing. As people dif
fer in their mental constitution, so they
differ in the estimates which thev
make of surrounding objects. "Though
a rose by any other name would smell
as sweet," yet the sense of smell is far
more sensitive and appreciative in one
individual than in another. Expe
rience proves that first sight im
pressions are not always accurate
and infallible: since objects viewed
from different standpoints and
through different optics often pre
sent very different aspects. One
is often repelled upon a first introduc
tion, but a more intimate aoinaintance
entirely changes his views as to the
character of some particular person,
and vice versa, the first good impres
sion may be vitiated by the light of
subsequent experience. Therefore, we
should learn that it is not safe to base
too much on first impressions, or to
take appearances as infallible. Time
and place, and circumstance, and mood,
may have much to do in shaping ap
pearances. John Smith, drunk, may
present an odious and disgusting as
pect, but John Smith, sober, in his
right mind, may appear as a most
amiable character. The only safe plan
by which we may form correct and
just views of men and things is through
the medium of study and observations.
Time tries all. and the lessons learned
bv experience are the most valuable.
Though the study of man is very mys
terious, and to know one's self the mosf
difncult of all knowledge: yet the world
generallv gives a man credit for all he is
worth sometimes much more. There
are those who ret credited with beincr I
better and wiser than they really are
others who are put lower down the
scale of character than they should be.
People should neither be hasty nor
harsh in their judgments.
It behoves those who would act as
censors to be cautious and considerate,
lest by unmerciful and unjust censure
they make the offender "ten fold more
the child of hell" than he was before.
Judging by appearances will not do to
trust any more in the matter of dress
than in point of character. The deep
dyed villain mav shine forth in "purple
and fine linen," while the man of- in- i
corruptible integrity and honor may be
doomed to rags. Time, the avenger of
all. will in the end set things right.
Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer-Sun.
American Fables.
THE KAT AXD THE BADGER.
A Rat who hatl grown fat and sleeK
and nested uudisturbed in a Peasant's
Corn Crib was one day visited by the
Badger, who inquired:
"How long since you have had any
cheese?"
"Cheese? Why. I haven't even smelt
the article for a year."
"Ah! me! but you must be a curious
rat not to help yourself to cheese. I
wouldn't -tand it a single hour if I
were in your boots. You will never be
a happy Rat until you have cheese."
After the Badger had gone the Rat
got to thinking the matter over. He
was fat. content and safe, but now that
Cheese had !-een mentioned he felt that
he must have a taste. He left the corn
crib and went nosing around until he
discovered a piet:e of Cheese hung to a
wire. He rushed for it. heard a click,
and turned around to find himself in a
Trap and to hear the Peasant call out:
"Ah! here is another Rat who didn't
know enough to remain in the corn
crib" Moral. Let well enough alone.
THE WHEEL AXD THE WAGON".
Upon an occasion one of the front
wheels of a wagon became sulky and
obstinate, and called out to the other
parts of the vehicle:
"I am tired of being dragged around
as if I had no mind of my own. As
the tongue bends, I must follow, and I
am always behind it. Inotonlyhave
a mind of my own. but unless I can
hereafter run this business I shall re
fuse to move."
The Driverof the vehicle thought the
matter over, and finally told the Wheel
to go ahead.
"The fir-t thing I shall do is to get
out of the du-t." replied the Wheel,
and it made for the grass. It next de
cided that it was easier to travel in the
meadow than upon the highway, and it
balked at every hill and rested so often
that little pmgre-- was made, and two
of the other wheels were finally crowd
ed against the bank and broken.
"Alas! that I did not know better!"
sighed the Driver, as he jumped down
to contemplate the wreck. "One who
undertakes to steer a ship from the
cook's room will surelv bring up on the
beach."
Moral A house where the head isn't
boss, wobbles as it runs. Detroit Free
Press.
That Settled it.
A negro entered a store in a village
in Alabama and asked to look at some
coats. The only one which suited him
was a garment worth about six dollars,
but for" which the dealer asked fourteen
dollars.
"Til go you eight dollars," said the
negro.
"My frent. you must be crazy. Dot
goat ish worth more as I ask."
'ril say nine dollars, boss."
"Shust as crazy as pefore.'
"It isn't much of a coat," remarked
Sambo, as he looked it over again.
"VhelL I don't brag about "der cloth
or der color, or der making; but what
you shpose happens to der black mans
who pays der mate to dot goat? Dot is
what I look at."
"Did he die of yellow fever, boss?"
"Not much! Dot goat fit him so
nice, and make him look so shenteeL
dot he runs away mit my cousin Sarah,
und I gifs her two thousand dollars. I
have shust one more cousin left."
"Well, boss, I guess Til take it," re
plied Sambo. And he got into it, and
took a walk around town to let the
cousin look him over. ITafl Street
Xeics.
tartAers.
I was sitting one day last week by
Mrs. f?rsvM! wnrk-ta.bli enirsu-ed in
' tbe delightful task of teaching her the
ahell-stitch in crochet, when the door
was ourst open as u a cycione were
coming, and her ten-year-old boy
bounced in. He made a polite bow, it
is true, but I felt that he was a very
unpleasant occurrence, for he stumbled
over mv feet and upset our basket of
worsteds, and seized his mother around
the neck for a whispering in a thor
oughly tumultuous and uncomfortable
way. " He received a gentle rebuke for
his nndue haste and carelessness, and
nermission, evidentlv, to go to the bu
reau drawer, where 1 watched him up-
settmg a pile of clean handkerchiefs
and bringing forth in triumph a fishing-hook!
"Does your mother always let you
treat her places that way, Frank?" I
asked.
The bright, eager face turned upon
me with a surprised look, and then,
with a sunny glance across the table,
said: "Oh! "mother and I are part
ners." Partners! 1 felt a sudden pang in
thinking of my own well-regulated nur
sery, whose clock-like rules permitted
no such invasion of my places by my
young folks.
"1 won't go above the dam, mother."
were the boy's parting words, as the
door closed with a bang that alarmed
the plaster.
'Frank is not always so noisy,"
apologized his mother. "He is very
much excited now, and I must save my
little lecture about his want of consid
eration until it will be more likely to
avail something."
"But do you give your children such
right of way through" all your places?"
I asked, my interest in the shell-stitch
gone.
"Not quite all." she answered, laugh
ing. "I have a few little nooks that are
sacre lly my own: but only a few. Frank
uses the right word when he says we
are 'partners.' and I don't know "when
he has enjoyed anything as much as
being allowed to keep that new fishing-
hook in my pile of handkerchiefs;" and
the mother laughed afresh at the odd
hiding-place the boy had invented.
But I was burdened with a conscious
ness that I should have snnbbed my
young man upon any such unreason
able proposal, and I pressed the discus
sion. "How can you keep any order, or
teach anv orde'r," I asked, rather petu-
t lantlantly. "if you do not insist upon
Vi?nrr Viinnr l-OTif in tTioiT" TfrTit- nlflajS11
"I do try to check the troublesome
propensity to leave thing lying around."
answered my companion; "hut, Elsie,
don't you remember from your own
childhood 'how much nicer and more
secure our mothers' places seemed for
our treasures? That new fishing-hook
is of the same value to Frank that your
diamond ring is to you; more, indeed,
for it gives him more lively pleasure. I
am sure, and no place of his own seemed
good enough for it. It was a very small
sacrifice on my part to allow "him to
tumble my clean handkerchiefs; but the
gratitude it awakened in that precious
little heart has bubbled up and over in
many a kiss and caress that was in
finitely sweet to me.
"He got the word 'partners' from a
story they are fond of hearing me tell,
of a'bit of my own childhood's experi
ence. I had some bad tricks, as a child,
that were hard to correct, and one was
. playing in the fire. Livingin the coun
try" big wood-fires blazed on our hearth
all winter, and seemed an irresistible
temptation to me. Of course I was
punished, time and again, but nothing
ever seemed to cure me. until one day
my mother found me with long pieces
of twisted paper, trying to see how near
the flame I could hold them without
their lighting. Instead of the punish
ment I expected, my mother sat down
by me on the floor, and played in the fire
with me for half an hour. By that
time my craving was satisfied, and the
morbid" fascination that the forbidden
pleasure had exercised over me was
gone. 'Now, Nellie.' said my mother,
as she brushed up the litter, we "are
partners in this game, and it will be
very unfair if you ever try to play it
without me.' I never did, and the idea
of being 'partners' with mother held
me with a strong grasp all my life: it
brought me to her side with" many a
question of this or that, which I am
persuaded most young people settle for
themselves, and often settle the wrong
way."
I began to feel sorry for my poor lit
tle well-managed children, who had
never known the sweetness of playing
"partners" with mamma: but they
were young enough, thank. God. to be
gin yet. and I trusted I was not too old
to learn.
"Aren't you afraid to mist Frank to
goto the mill-stream?" I asked, kis-ing
my friend good-by; it's horridly deep
above the dam."
"He never goes above the dam." she
replied, with proud content: "that's
a part of the partnership." Illustrated
Christian Advocate.
An Insult to the Profession.
A prominent physician was heard
using very uncomplimentary language
about a certain butcher.
"Why is it," asked a friend of the
doctor, "that you abuse that butcher so"
much? You are everlastingly saying
mean things about him."
"Fve got good reason to talk about
him. Last winter I owned a fat pig. I
sent for the butcher to kill and dress it.
He did so, but what do you think he
told me when I wanted to know what
his bill was?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, sir, that butcher parted me on
the back and said: "Never mind about
the bQl, doctor. We are in the same
business, you know. We professional
men must help each other out-' I waa
so mad at the fellow I could have "
"Prescribed for him." added the doc
tor's friend. Texas Siflings.
The town of Guaymas is said t
have materially improved since the So
nora Railroad was built. There is a
rich agricultural and fruit country near
by. The town has a street railroad
and a telephone- It is 1,500 miles
nearer than San Francisco to China by
1 the regular steamship course. The
I population is 12,000. Oysters from
Guaymas have a good market in Ari
, zona. Fishing is a great enterprise of
the port. The harbor is described as
not large, but locked in on all sides by
mountains.
The first medical school for women
in Canada was recently opened at To
ronto. An enterprising firm of Charlotte,
N- C, has a sign-board ninety-six feet
long which cost $375
iiipal
1884.
I
StrablsAtos aad Jcatfce.
' Over in St. Paul I met a man with
itm of ra.i Wn qml f jrr, nrri nnw
! His eyes were not only peculiar in shape.
but while one seemea to constantlv
prooe tne lurnre, the other wu appar
ently ransacking the dreamy past.
While one rambled, among the "glorious
possibilities of the remote yet golden ul
timately, the other sought the somber
depths of the previously.
He told me that veafs ago he had
mild cae of strabismus and that both
eyes seemed to glare down his nose till
he got restless and had them operated
on. Those were the day3 when they
used to fasten a crochet hook under thi
j internal rectus muscle and cut it a lit-
tie with a pair of optical sheep shears.
The effect of this course was to allow
the eye to drift back to a direct line, but
this man fell into the hands of a drunk
en surgeon who cut the muscle too
much and thcrebv weakened it so that
it grauually swung past the point it
ought to have stopped at and he saw
with horror that Ids eve was going to
turn out and protrude as it were so that
a man could hang his hat on it.
re
l - '. .
ouier louowed suit ana the two orbs
that had for years looked along the
bridge of the terra cotta nose, gradually
separated, and while one looked toward
next Christmas with fond anticipations,
the other loved to linger over the re
membrances of last fall.
This thing continued till he had to
peer into the future with his off eye
closed and vice versa.
It is needless to say that he hungered
for the blood of that physician and
surgeon. He tried to lay violent hands
on him and wipe up the ground with
him and wear him out across a tele
graph pole. But the authorities always
prevented the administration of swift
And awful justice.
Time passed on till one night the ab
normally wall-eyed man loosened a
board in the sidewalk up-town so that
the physician and surgeon caught hia
foot in it and caused an oblique fract
ure of the scapula, pied his dura mater.
busted his cornucoDia and wrecked his
sarahbellum.
Perhaps I am in error as to somo of
these medical terms and their orthog
raphy, but that is about the way the
man with the divergent orbs told "it to
mi?.
The phvsician and surgeon was quite
a ruin. He had to wear claptxanls on
himself for months, and there were
other doctors and laudable pus and
threatened gangrene and doctors' bills
with the cemetery looming up in the
near future. Dav after dav he took his
own anti-febrile drinks and rammed his
busted system full of iron and strych
nine and" beef tea and Dover's powders
and hypodermic squirt till he wished he
could die, but death would not come.
He pawed the air and howled. They
fed him his own nux vomica, tincture of
rhubarb and phosphates and grueL and
brought him back to hie with a crooked
collar bone, a shattered shoulder-blade
and a look of woe.
Then he sued the town for fifty thou
sand dollars damages because the side
walk was imperfect, and the wild-eyed
man with the inflamed nose got on the
jury.
I will not explain how it was done,
but there was a verdict for defendant
with costs on the Esculapian wreck.
The man with the crooked vision is not
handsome, but he is very happy. He
savs the mills of the gods grind slowlr.
but they pulverize middling fine. Bill
Xye, in Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Jones' Mistake.
" Maria," said Mr. Jones, wh;n his
wife told him she was going out "riding
that afternoon ."it's going to be hot,
and Til send up a fan and a Japanese
parasol. You put the fan in the mar
tingale and spread it open, and fasten
the parasol in a loop behind the ear."
" Won't that be fly," said Mr3. Jones,
"where did you see them?"
"At the sea-shore." snorted Jones,
"they are the toniest things out."
After dinner the package came. Mrs.
Jones opened it and found a gay paper
fan and a paper parasol.
" Bridget," asked Mrs. Jones, "what
is a martmgle?"
" Shure it's a girth of some sort " an
swered Bridget, shortly.
" Oh. a belt. Why of course it is. I
am to spread the fan in my belt and
Eut the parasol up and fasten it t my
ead. Jeptha said so, the sweet
thing."
So Mrs. Jones drove old Tom in the
nhaeton ud one avenue and down
! another, and was the observed of all
I observer-. She had fastened the handle
I of the parasol into her bonnet strings.
and as it was not very large it did not
obstruct the view, and" people stared as
much they did at Jumbo. She felt that
she was setting the style and was more
than hat)py. liut when she got home
Jones was awaiting her, the maddest
man in town.
" You ought to be pasted on a tea
chest or used as a wall decoration.'
he shrieked. "Don't you know the
difference between a horse and a
donkey?"
" I ought to," said Mrs. Jones,
meekly.
" Yes, you ought to; but you don't.
There you've gone out on the avenue
with a horse umbrella and fan. Why
didn't you wear the rest of the harness?
I tell you what it is, Maria, if you go on
this way you'll get your name m the
papers; se. if you don't."
But the next day all of Mrs. Jonea
lady friends called to ask her where sh
got" that perfectlv lovely idea of the fan.
and parasol, and if the articles could be
purchased in the citv. Detroit Post and
Tribune.
A Remarkable Case.
An old man was arraigned before an
Arkansaw Court for some trifling of
fense, and among the witnesses was an
old woman who, in giving her testimo
ny, made such efforts to shield the old
man that the Judge asked:
" Madam, have you known this man
very long?"
"Yes.sir." the old woman replied.
" I have known him a very long time.
When I was a-young girl this man used
to visit me. In fact. Judge, we were
sweethearts." and she twisted her apron
and looked down.
"Ah, I see!" the Judge replied,
"used to be sweethearts, and think 30
much of each other now because you
did not marry each other then?"
" You are mistaken, Judge, for we did
marry each other then, and are husband
and wife now."
"Indeed!" the Judge exclaimed,
"this is a remarkable case. Liberate
the old fellow, Mr. Officer." Arkansaw
Traveller.
A rare case is that of Andrew Car
negie, of Pittsburgh, head of the largest
iron manufacturing concern in thia
country. After accumulating a great
fortune, he has returned to hia native
(Bootland, and it is said will seek for
to PAriiAmaat. FitUiurgk PosL
WHOLE NO. 785.
SCHOOL AND CHTJKCH.
Frank Jones, the wealthy brewer
I of Portsmouth. N. H.. is buDdong a fica
chapel for the Middle Street BAptiat
Church of that city. Boston Post.
The conditions upon which Bon.
E. A. Rollins promised Dartmouth Col-
lege $30,000 for a new chapel aavieg
been provided for. it is understood thAt
its erection will begin early next
' PriaS-
Reports read at the recent ""
' convention at Liverpool of the Young
I Men's Christian Associatioa of Great
Britain and Ireland showed that 162 as
sociations in England. Ireland and
Wales had 17,618 members, t&at their
I income last year was 30,239. their
expenditurea 31.013, and that they
j had a debt of 8,250.
A resolution has feava adopted by
' the Municipal Council of Paris by
which it is agreed to grant $7,000 for
, tne purpose of sending a certain number
oi tne pupus at eaen ot tne colleges om
a foreign tour during vacation time.
A
deputation of teachers is also to be sent
I to study swiss methods of instruction.
as iaese are uiustratea
Exhibition.
in the Zurich
The negroes of Montgomery County.
Ga.. have a way of their own in dealing
with their church officers. When one
of the flock violates any of the rules
summary punishment is meted out. A
few days ago one of the brethren got
drunk. When he became sober one of
the deacons took him down and put
thirty-nine stripes upon his bare back.
The erring brother eeemed to think it
all right and was willing to receive his
punishment. Chicago Herald.
Some good Samaritans in a Yale
students' rush in New Haven the other
night clothed one of their classmates in
a long linen duster, every stiteh of
clothing having been torn off him in
the melee. Thus equipped they marched
him triumphantly through some of the
f)rincipal streets to his room in the col
ege. In the rush about $600 worth of
clothing was torn to tattera. One stu
dent had his back hair burned off by
coming in contact with one of the blaz
ing torches which lit up the fray. Xeio
Haven Register.
At a recent Evangeiical Conference
in Berlin, Prof. Grau, of Konigsberg,
recommended the German Lutheran
Church in the United States to the par
ticular care of the Assembly, remarking
that what little interest in it Prussia had
shown was of a "unionist" character,
and that sympathy of a "strictly Lu
theran type" was called for. Accord
ingly a committee for the support of
Lutheran congregations in America
wa- formed on the spot, and a collec
tion in furtherance of the object taken
up.
The tenth anniversary of the con
secration of the Rr. Rev. Benjamin H.
Paddock a- Protestant Episcopal Bishop
of Massachusetts was celebrated in
Boston recently bv a religious service
in the morning and a banquet at "the
Hotel Vendome in the afternoon- In
reviewing the work of the decade
Bishop Paddock had the satisfaction of
making this rather remarkable report
of progre-s: During the last ten years
the clergy of the diocese have increased
froiu I3'J to 172. parishes from 135 to
141. communicants from 11,577 to
iy.232. The Sunday school scholars
have increased 45 per cent. There are
1.1.7W more church sittings in Boston
than ten years ago. six new churches,
four new parochial chapels have been
opened in that city, and the funds and
lauds are already at hand for the
seventh church.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Feeding carrots
said, will give a gold
to the cow, it is
golden color to their
butter,
carrot
Herald.
Now we know what eighteen
butter means. Philaaelphui
"God bless the man wTio first invent
ed sleep!" said Dumley, a he reached
home at two a. m. and discovered his
wife snoring sweetly. Rochester Post
Ezpress. "Dear me." said a good old lady
on Fifth Avenue, the other evening,
"how this craze for china is growing!
Here's a New York club that pays
$3,000 for a pitcher. Pittsburg Tele
graph. A pie-eating match took place in a
Long Island village a few days ago, but
it was not a gratifying success. The
contestant, who ate sixteen and one
half pies, didn't die. Xorristoicn
Herald.
"Pull down vour umbrellas. You'll l
scare this engine off the line," screamed
the engineer on the Western North
Carolina Road to a crowd of country
people who had gathered to see the first
train come in. They were all lowered
at once.
A big Yankee from Maine, on pav
ing his hill at a restaurant, was told
that the sum put down didn't include
the waiter "Wall.'" he roared. "I
didn't eat the waiter, did I?" He looked
as if he could, though, and there was
no further discussion. X. T. Xeics.
"Dear me!" cried Mrs. Blossom, as
she lAid down the paper. "It does i
seem to me as if those State militia fal-
lows are always in trouble. Here's an '
account of a recent inspection where !
the company turned ant fifty-three
men. Too bad, ain't it?'' Boston Her
ald. An exchange says that a femmine
devotee of fashion having picked up a
railwav journal and noticed an article
headed "Electric Switches." remarked
that they must be gorgeously brilliant,
and would save the necessity of wear
ing diamonds in the hair. X. Y. Com
mercial Advertiser.
"Doctor." said a man to his phy
sician, who had just presented a bill of
$50 for treatment during a recent ill
ness, "I have not much ready money.
Will you not take this out in trade?"
"Oh. yes." cheerfully answered the
doctor; "I think that we can arrange
that but what is your business?" "I
am a cornet player," was the startling
replv. Harper's Bazar.
"Miss Fitzjoy aw are you not
fond of etchings aw you know thev
are deuced clever some of them are?r'
"Ah, yes, indeed, Mr. Featherweight.
And do you know there is some
thing about you that reminds me very
much of an etching?" "What, really
aw how charmmg " "Yes
There is abQut you such a foggy sug
gestion of something that isn't there,
you know. Chicago Times.
Plantation Pleasantries- Dere's a
limit tr poverty in dis country. No
man gits too po' to keep a dog. I have
knowM whisky ter make a plain. da&,
speaker 'pear eloquent an witty, but it
wad de listeners tad drunk it. De man
dat thiake castHrwi pistols can't hurt
nobody, sotinly nebber fired off nsaov
er 'em. Be agricaisuxal colleges mua'
be er leae; waya oC 'cause heap er
farmer ease goes off ter 'em an' nebber
gits
hack ter de farms agin, Tezas
5,
biftmjg.
As Era 0m. Ike CnfKters.
Passenger conductors ia CalifornlA
have about forgotten what the term
4knocking down' means," said the
wearer of a gold-laced cap and brass
buttoned coat to a reporter on a South
ern Pacific Railway train recently; "but
in former days they could have told
you had they a mind to how they
had been able to buy Consolidated Vir
ginia stock, smoke two-bit cigars and
get a new suit of clothes oncea month
without the necessity of goino- vary
deep into their salaries." a
"But the conductors were close
mouthed regarding such transactions
then, and how i3 one to know but thac
with the same quietness and the sam
opportunities on their part now, there
may still be the same number of private
assessments levied on the companies?"
"Yes. I know that'3 what peopla
seem to think; but I will give you my
word of honor that, so far as my knowl
edge in the matter extends, such is not
the case. It isn't because the con
ductors are any more honest nowadays
than formerlv. but because thev run
r greater risks."'
"How is that?"
"Well, there is a system of private
surveillance going on nearly aU the
while, a sort or railroad detective
agency, which practlcallv precludes the
chance of a man knocking down as
much as fifty cents a day. This system
is maintained at a cost" which far ex
ceeds the amount that might be di
verted from the coffers of the company
by the conductor who looks out for the
main chance.or who strives to make up
in 3aiarv what he loses in social
comfort bv being
away from his
for twentv-four
home and family
days of the month. I do not know
that this system is necessary to the aims
of the company, though "it certainly
terred from 'knocking down' if he were
given to understand thaw there were
detectives aboard his train, even though
there were not, as he would if each
passenger had been secretly constituted
a ferret for the railroad. "There is a
better opportunity for a freight con
ductor to add to his monthly stipend
than there is on the biggest "passenger
train now running on this coast. There
a man has everything his own way, and,
by standing in with the brakemen. h
may reserve for his own use a good
share of what turns up in he way of
non-ticketed passengers. Then. too. a
man on $60 or$75 a month can peculate
with better conscience than one who is
receiving $100 or $125, unless the latter
has some grudge against the company
and most of them manage to work
up such a grudge on slight pro vocation.
My solution of the question." continued
the conductor, as he winked his eye
significantly, "would be to allow con
ductors sutneient salary to place them
above the temptation of appropriating
the company's cash."
"Can the'ferrets always be relied oa
by the company?"
""No. Occasionally the railroad
employs the wrong man for a detective.
An incident occurred not long ago
where a passenger in the same seat with
a spotter turned in $4.50 for fare and
the conductor failed to make any ac
count of it to the company. Instead of
reporting the misappropriation the
spotter made the conductor come down
with $4 and left only fifty cents in the
hands of the latter, who. though some
what disgusted at such treatment,
doubtless considered himself lucky to
fall in with a man who was on the same
lay as himself. Even as it was, he
expected to be switched off for a month
or so after the incident. San Francisco
Chronicle.
S&bubj Baragarten's SilTer Mine.
SAmmy Bumgarten is a Pennsylvania
JJutchman his ancestors have lived in
the neighborhood of Middleburg, Sny
der Countv, Pa., for two hundred years.
And he still cultivates the farm of his
great-grandfather. His wife, sons and
daughters are Pennsylvania Dutch to
the backbone. Only Sammy and the
boys ean speak English, which they
have picked up in the outside world.
Home-made Dutch is the language of
the familv- Sammy is forty years old.
Nothing has ever happened till last win
ter, to dam up the even flow of his life.
He has cultivated his farm and raised a
little corn and wheat, cattle, pigs and
horses; while in the winter the monot
ony of life was varied by trips up tho
Shade mountains to cut white pine
shingles on the property of the New
Tork speculator whose lands adjoined
his. and who in despair had given up
writing lettera to his agent complaining
of the disappearance of the white pina
from his tract. Reason enough there
was; for Sammy and his ancestors had
been poaching shingle cuttings for
many generations.
Lasc winter oue morning the whola
family left the farm and went up tis
mountain "to cut shingles father,
mother, three red-cheeked girls and two
big-shouldered sons. High above the
valley Sammy cut down a big white pine
that grew out of a mass of boulders. It
was dinner time when the tree fell, and
they all sat down on the root to eat
their scrabble and pie. While thus oc
cupied Mrs. Bumgarten picked up a
little piece of stone, in which were
imbedded
particles of matter that
shone like silrer. " Pop, it s
silver," she said. "I read in the papers
how silver look3.'' A few knocks with
the Axe revealed the fact that all the
rocks wer filled with the shining par
ticles; and from that time forth the
New York speculator's white pine was
respected. The family marched down
the mountain, and set'to work talking
and dreaming about the silver mine
Sammy used up the savings of a life
time in buving. at a dollar an acre, a
strip of the mountain side
of a thous
and acres containing the rocks. He
bought it from the New York man, who
remarked, that as Sammy had cut the
timber off without paving for it. ha
thought it waa a generous act to come
forward and buy the bare rocks.
When the purchase was completed
and the ded recorded at Middlebarg,
Sammy sat down and wrote the follow
ing letter to a Wall Street man. whos
name his wife found in the paper.
Mianr.mCBG, SaTder County. Pa..
Febry Efta. A. D . loS4.
3r Wru C HidtHebaum cc to. tra ttrtet, Xcm
Yorkcttate
Era: I was tolt that taareware som Hldsra
mianl nun la Wail treete Xew Torke. so I
ride yon. Plees led me iaow and the naisea
of lhasi. pieea send them ride to my place. I
har fount silver I thmic Id Till mai 100 pouax
liver to the tun of Kock and my Tire hr
aounced Id ndtr yed. Yrs truly.
SAM BCMGAIiTE.
Sammy and his wife and children
have waited since last winter expecting
to hear from Wall street. The farm ia
half cultivated, the neighboring timber
is undisturbed, and they think and talk
of nothing but the millions they expect
from the l,ufiO acres that cost $1.00 per
acre. X. Y. Evening Post.
m m
To Parents.
Surround your children when as
home with objects and influences which
will make their minds best able to en
joy and expand under the teachings of
the public instructor If they see you
surround the home with beautiful
things, because you love them, they
will do so, too. If they see your garden
arranged for beauty as well as utility,
while all over the" homestead stern
economy yields to a reverential love of
mature, and to a sense that the gratifica
tion of the eye and the mind is quite a3
important as the gratification of the
appetite, they will grow up with liberal,
generous feelings and opinions; they
will be men and women who have the
best interest of the world at heart.
When once the
lg heart of a
saaiden is stolen, the maiden heraell
will steal after it soon. Afccrs.
I
w
iy
J'l
" I
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