The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, May 07, 1884, Image 1

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    tATES of AinrEKTisiivc;.
EJTBuaineas and professional carda
of five lines or less, per annum, five
TSS For time advertiaementa, apply
at this office.
laTLegal advertiaementa at statute
25BFor transient advartlaing, aee
rates on third page.
GTA11 advertiaementa payable
33T OFFICE, Eleventh St., vp rtairs
in Journal Building.
Per year
Six months ...
Three months
Single copies..
. I
VOL. XV.--TW: 2.
WHOLE NO. 730.
kveky Wednesday,
Proprietor and Publisher!. ---
TS alLLW at
Mil I m M
D. T. M ARTY.V. M.D. F. J. SCHDG, M. D.
U. S. Examining Snrgeons,
Local Surseon. Union Pacific, O., N.
& I. H. and It. A 31. R. R'a.
Consultation in German and English.
Telephones at office and residence.
23roinV second loor east of post-office.
r i nii.su3, ml .,
Diseases of women and children a spe
cialty. Countv physician. Office former
ly occupied by" Dr. llouesteel. Telephone
exchange. a
v-l.i,A ash IIAICJIl, .!..
On corner of Eleventh and North f-treets,
over Ernst's hardware Btore.
Up-stairs-inOluck liuilding.llth street,
Above the New hank.
ltU Strrrt.2 door nmt of Hammond Hoase,
Columbus. Neb. 9-y
-puuitsro: V POWERN.
s una eon dentists,
iSrOttiee in Mitchell Mock, Colum-bit-,
N'ebrtska. u'tf
i a. ki:i:ii:k,
Ollice ii tliu St., Columbus, Nebraska.
Fotci(D) ami Domestic Liquors and
11th treet, Columbus, Neb. 50-y
Office upstair in McAllister's build
iug. 11th St. V. A. McAllister, Notary
Att:rsy asi Hctarj PstVc.
Columbus, : Nebraska.
. ki.vnkr, yn. .,
(Micc.'-.,r t Dr. t'.O. A.Hullhorst)
SI' It It EON.
Regular graduate of two medical col
lege:., office Olive St., one-half block
north of Hammond House. -'
Land, Loan and Insurance,
Wmii'V to loan on loniror short time on
tCexl KMate in Minis to Miit parties. j'iO-v
J. J. .nAlXSlIAHf.
Justice, County Surveyor, Notary,
lAuifl tint! Collection Agent.
jrgri'artics de-iriHjr surveying done can
notify me bv mail at Platte Centre, Neb.
Hth St., opposite Lindell Hotel.
SelU Harness Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets, t'urrv Combs, Brushes, trunks,
valises, bugjiv tops, cushions, carriage
trimming, .tc, at the lowcet possible
prices. Repairs pr mptly attended to.
a week at home. $5.00 outfit
free, ray absolutely sure, .o
rik. Capital not requireu.
lti.ui.T if von want business
z-jft. ivhich persons of either sex, young or
.olfi, can make great pay all the time they
wort-, with absolute certainty, write for
(particulars to 11. Haixet fc Co., Port
Jand, Maine.
Office, Thirteenth St.. between Olive
and Nebraska Avenue. Residence on the
corner of Eighth and Olive.
jll TVorlc Guaranteed..
Carpenters and Contractors.
navenad an extended experience, and
ill guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on 9hort
moCice. Our motto is, Good work and
ifair prices. Call and give us an oppor
itunitv to estimate for you. SJTShop on
13th SU, one door -west of Friedhof &
Jo's. store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-v
o. c. shajsstonT
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, Hoofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
C3"Shop on Eleventh Street, opposite
lieintz's uruc atore.
His lands comprise some fine tracts
in the ShU Creek YalIcy,-and.tae-iiorth-ern
poP ol Platte county .Taxes
paid fof" non-residents.. .Satisfaction
guaranteed. 20 y
Packers and Dealers in allkinife affiftg
product, cash paid for Live or peadUaag
or grease. -
Directors. R. H Henry, PreBt.; John
"Wiggins, Sec. and.Treas.L.jSeirard, S.
J. E. Moncrief, Co. Sspt
Will be in his office at the Court House
on the third Saturday or; -ecfc
month for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, and
for the transactton of any other business
pertaining to schools. 567-y
SucMMMtiStrmftftlMfcalTuMfftlifat. ,;
M2r CM PIT At, J $50,000
. j
'. ,
nrnpnTniic:' '
L'kanukh'Gkkuaud, Pre'
w . rf jr.!
Julius A.. Reei. v
Edward A.'Gekrard.
' -.
J. E. Taskeh, Cashier.
male af JDepoMlt,. Dlvcaaaf
aad Exchaage.
," 'fit
CIIectIaM Prmatl j Made' ea
all Piat.
Pay IatereMt aa Tlate Deaas
It. 274
EiTPrompt. atteatlon given to Col
lections. ..""
iTInavraaca, Raid -Batata, Loan,
etc. tt . , B
Bran, Shorts,
t3TAH kinds of FRUITS in their sea.
ion. Orders promptly tilled.
lltli Street, ColumlusxNc'br.
,-.., irtU7-Cm. Ai
Farnitura, Chalra, Bedateada, Bu-
reaua, Tablaa, Safea. Loungea.
Ac, Pictnr Framea and
fST-Repairiug of all kinds of Upholstery
for the working class
;8end 10 cents for postage,
and we will mail you re
,a royai, vaiuanie dox or
sample gt)di tkat will put youiinthoway
of making sore money in a few days than
you ever thought possible at any busi.
ness. Capital not required. We will
start you. Tou can work all the time or
in.spxe.tirae.ouly..JIfle.w.Qrkis .univer
sally adapted ;to,toth,sexcj,.!young and
old. You cineasily earn'from 50 cunts to
S5 every L evening. That all -who want
work may .test the business, we make
this unparalleled offer; to all who ire cot
well satisfied we will send $1 to pay" for,
the trouble of writing Uf. Full particu
lars, directioBs.-etc, sent free.1 Fortunes'
will be made by-those who"give their'
whole time to the work. Great success
absolutely sureV Don't delay.' Start now.
Address Stetson Co., Fortlaud, Maine.
FARMERS', stock raisers, and all other
interested' parties will do well to
remember that the "Western Horse and
Cattle Insurance Co.'r of Omaha is the
only company doing business in this state
that insures Horses, Mules and Cattle
or injury, (as also'against loss by fire and
lightning). AH representations by agents
of ether Companies to the contrary not
withstanding. HENRY GARN,.Special Ac't,
15-y Columbus, Neb.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
frame' or brick buildings. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near
St. Paul -Lumber Yard, ColumbusV Ne
braska. 02 6mo.
Livery and Feed Stable.
Is prepared .to -furnish .the public wf'th
good team's buggies and carriages for all
occasions, 'especially for funerals. Also
conducts a sale stable.' 44
aVwm im ijWW jjsa j i n A.ffaaT
dsBBaV, uai ?. ,Ls"sat5aMifa
O aaai2?L"ci2SV?!jsaaa
"' "IsRSffam we. JfsSst
National Bank!
-Altlidriiem Capitol, - - $250,000
Paid fi Capital, 50,000
Sfirplis aid Promts, - - 6,000
A. ANDERSON, Preset.
SAM'L C. S3IITH. Vice Prea't.
i O. T. ROEN, Cashier.
Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage
TlnbuU anrt Roil Vtttm T.nqna
t ,5 '" 21i-vol-13-ly
J. 1: NORTH & CO.,
Rock Sping Coal,
Eldon (Iowa) Coal
..$7.00 per tou
... 6.00 "
... 150 "
Blacksmith Coal of best quality al
ways on hand at low
est prices.
North Side Eleventh St.,
Improved and Unimproved Farms,
Hay ana urazrag i-anus auu u,y
Property for Sale Cheap
Union Pacific Land Office,
On Long Time and low rate
of Interest.
ISg-Final proof made on Timber Claims
Homestead and Pre-emptions.
laTAll wishing to buy lands of any de
scription will please call and examine
my list of lauds before looking else wheie
I3TAH having lands to sell will please
call and give me a description, term ,
prices, etc.
1371 a so am prepared to insure prop
erty, as I "have the agency of several
firat-class Fire insurance companies.
F. W. OTT, Solicitor, speaks German.
Columbus, Nebraska.
General Agents for the Sale of
Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific
R. R. Lands for sale at from ? 3.00 to $10.00
per acre for cash, or on fire or ten years
time, in annual payments to suit pur
chasers. We have also a large and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, for sale at low price and
on reasonable terms. Also business and
residence lot6 in the city. We keep a
complete abstract of title to all real es
tate in Platte County.
All kinds ef Repairing done os
Short Notice. Baggies, Wag
ohs, etc., made U order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-firasous Walter A.
Wood Xowrs. Heapen-CMbin-
ed yUachiaes, Harraattrs,
and. Self-binders the
' best nude.
'Shop opposite the " Tattersall," on
Olive St., COLUMBUS. 26-m
Tke Bears and tbe Wheat Market.
The wild bear of the woods is subject
to regularly recurring periods of ex
treme obesity and extreme emaciation.
During tbe autumn he feeds ou the ber
ries and nuts of the season, and waxes
fat and sleek. His fur grows thick and
lustrous, and his shape rounds out .with
adipose tissue. He looks altogether
comfortable and prosperous. With the
advent of winter he retires from busi
ness; and for months he lies torpid in
his lair, drawing his subsistence from
the stores of fat already accumulated
underneath his shaggy and elastic skin.
In the spring he comes out a lean and
hungry animal, the glossy black of his
fur has faded into a dingy brown, and
he looks like a tattered and starving
tramp of the animal kingdom. The
bear in trade has likewise his periods
of prosperity and of depression; he is
sometimes fat and sleek and prosper
ous, and sometimes lean and desperate,
but'these periods are not of regular re
currence. Like death, he has alf seasons
for his own; he does not go into winter
quarters, and he is about as likely to
have a period of abundance or of pinch
ing want at one time of the year as
another. He is a creature of accident
and circumstances. Just now, in Wall
street and in the grain and provisions
markets, he is having his iunings. . His
proportions are expanding. He is
squeezing the market and growing pros
perous. It is a merry time while it
lasts, but, bye and bye, the bulls will
get him in aTcorner and gore him with
their sharu horns.
The bear in wheat, which is the great
est staple of this region of country, is
making much of the large amount of
thatra:nin-sighL He proclaims that
the market is glutted. It is a good cry
for immediate purposes, but a little
consideration of statistics will show that
it is greatly exaggerated. If we com
pare the figures of the present year,
wheu the wheat crop throughout the
country is much below the average,
witli those of 1880, when the crop was
untiMiully large, it will bo found that
there is no extraordinary excess of that
grain ou hand, and not more than
might be expected iu consequence of
the'great increase of storage-room made
within the past four years. The whole
visible supply of wheat at present is. 'io,
005,G75 bushels; at the same date in
1880 it was 31,023,300, a difference of
less than 4.000,000. The elevator
capacity of Chicago in 188U was 19,-40-1,000
bushels, and there were in
store, in that city then, lu',036,
'262 bushels, of all kinds of grain,
of which 8,091,000 were wheat.
At present the elevator capacity of
Chicago is 26,000,000 bushels, and the
grain m store 19,771,320 of which 12,-
35,400 are wheat. J. he elevator ca
pacity of Milwaukee remains substan
tially the same as four years ago, being
about 6,500,0U0 bushels. There was in
store in the city four years ago, at this
time, 5,224,000 bushels of wheat, while
now there are but 2,844,372. The total
wheat in store in the two cities, iu Jan
uary, 1880, was 13.916,000 bushels,
while now it is 1.0,231,827, a difference
of only 1,315,827. These ligures cer
tainly do not indicate a glut in the mar
ket, while there are good grounds for
believing that the farmers, especially iu
the winter wheat regions, have much
more generally disposed of all their sur
plus than was the case at this time in
1880. Hence there does not seem to be
anything in the present situation and
prices to make the bears very sanguine
of the future, or to encourage producers
who can afford to wait, to hurry their
surplus wheat to market. Milwaukee
A Real School-Master.
" Wo had about as onery and triflin"
a crop of kids in Calaveras Comity thir
ty years ago as you could gather in with
a" tine-tooth comb and a brass band in
fourteen States. For ways that were
kittensome they was moderately active
and abnormally protuberant. That was
the prevailing style of Calaveras kid
when Mr. George W. Mulquecn came
there and wanted to engage the school
at the old camp, where I hung up in
the days when tne countrj' was new and
the murmur of the six-shooter was heard
in the land.
George W. Mulqueen was a slender
young party from the effete East, with
conscientious scruples and a hectic
Hush. Both of these was agin him for a
promoter of school discipline and square
root. He had a heap of information and
big sorrowful 03-03.
" So fur as I was concerned, I didn't
feel like swearing around George or
using any language that would sound
irrelevant in a ladies' boodoiv; but as
for the kids of the school, thoy didn't
care a blamed cent- They just hollered
and whooped like a passle of Sioux.
"They didn't seem to respect literary
nlf.iinmrnf! nr ivnpni5v tnnwloiloro
The- just simply seemed to respect the
genius that come to that country to win
their love with a long-handle shovel
and a blood-shot tone of voice. That's
what seemed to catch the Calaveras kids
in the early days.
"George had weak lungs, and they
kept to work at him till they drove him
into a mountain fever and finally into a
metallic sarcophagus.
' Along about the holidays the sun
went down on George W. Mulqueeu's
life, just as the eternal sunlight lit up
the dewy eyes. You will pardon my
manner, Nye, but it seemed to me just
as if George had climbed up to the top
of Mount Cavalry, or wherever it was,
with the whole school on his back, and
had to give up at last.
"It seemed kind of tough to me and I
couldn't help blamiu' it onto the school
some, for there was half a dozen big
snoozers that didn't go to school to
learn, but just to raise Ned and turn up
"Well, the' killed him, anyhow, and
that settled it.
"The school run kind of wild till
Feboowary, and then a husky young
tenderfoot, with a fist like a mule's
foot in full bloom, made an application
for the place, and allowed he thought
he could maintain discipline if they'd
give him a chance. Well, they ast him
when he wanted to take his place as
tutor, and he reckoned he could begin
to tute about Monday follering.
"Sunday afternoon he went up to the
school-house to look over the grounds
and to arrange a plan for an active
Injun campaign agin the hostile hood
lums of Calaveras.
"Monday he sailed in about nine a. m.,
with his grip-sack and begun the dis
charge of his duties.
"He brought in a bunch of mountain
willers. and after driving a big railroad
spike into the door-casing over the
latch, he said the Senate and House
would sit with closed doors during the
morning session. Several large, white
eyed holy terrors gazed at him in a
kind of dumb, inquiring toni of voice,
but he didn't say much. He seemed
considerably reserved as to the plan of
the. campaign. The new teacher then
HaJockea his alligator-skin grip and
took out a Bible and a new self-cocking
weapon that had an automatic dingus
for throwing out the empty shells. It
was one of the bull-dog variety, and had
the laugh ofa jeyous child.
"He read a short passage from the
Scriptures, and then pulledoft his coat
and hung it on a nail. Then he made
a few extemporaneous remarks, after
which he salivated the palm of his
right hand, took the self-cocking song
ster in his left, and proceeded to wear
out the gads over the various protuber
ances ot his pupils.
"People passing by thought they
must be beating carpets in the school
house. He pointed the gun at his
charge with his left and manipulated
the gad with his right duke. One large,
overgrown Missourian tried to crawl
out of the winder, but after he had
looked down the barrel of the shooter a
moment he changed his mind. He
seemed to realize that it would be a vio
lation of the rules of the school, so he
came back and sat down.
" After he wore out the foliage. Bill,
he pulled the spike out of that door,
put on his coat and went away. He
never was seen there again. He didn't
ask for any salary, but just walked off
quietly, and that'summer we accident
ally heard that ho was George W. Mul
queen's brother." Bill Nye. in Puck.
The Artist and the Model.
Artists are supposed to be naturally
romantic. Perhaps thoy are; but it has
yet to be demonstrated that they as a
class fall in love more readily than
other men. And yet one is continually
hearing of affairs d'amour among the
knights of the brush at Paris. They
rarely become enamored of their mod
els that is, rarely seriously enamored.
Models are not, as a rule, of a lovable
or loving kind. But there was a case
of true love between an artist we will
call him Palette rather than use his own
name and a damsel who sat for him
in "figure pieces." He was an Ameri
can, young, whole-souled anil success
fully rising. She was an Alsacienne,
young, handsome, and poorer than the
proverbial church-mouse. Her parents
had lost their little property' in the
Franco-Prussian war when the hungry
German gobbled up the fair provinces
of Alsace and Lorraine. Rather than
swear fealty to the Kaiser they had
sacrificed everything and lied, eventu
ually turning up iu Paris, where they
had managed to wrin"r out a nieaser
living in
various honest wavs. Mai-
guente, the
dauzhter, had been en
dowed by nature with a splendid face
and form, and she was as good as she
was beautiful. By and by her father
was disabled, and the mother had to de
vote to him her constant care, so that
on Marguerite's shoulders fell the bur
den of supporting the little family. All
went well for awhile, and then bad
times came.
There was no work to be had. A
friend of the family, one Monsieur N., a
frequenter of the studios, suggested sit
ting for the artists. No! It could not
be thought, of. At last necessity com
pelled some action. There were stern
landlords and implacable tradesmen to
face. Palette was looking for a model.
He was paiuting a classical picture.
He wanted an Athenian girl, but he
could not find any one who satisfied
him in the Greek costume. He pressed
N.. whom he knew well, andN. pressed
Marguerite, who, iu the end, consented.
Palette was enchanted. The very
thing, aud ho painted away for dear
Somehow the picture was an un
conscionably long time in the finishing
there was always something to be
done to the figure of the Greek girl.
And Palette was a capital talker and lie
drew from Marguerite her history.
First she had his sympathy, then his
friendship. She sat for him often iu
other pictures. He assisted her family
in various ways and he discovered that
she was a very uncommon girl. To
make n long stoiy short, he loved her:
devotedly, too, and she loved him. And
they were married, of course? No!
There is no happy ending to this tale;
there was no ring of merry bells.
Marguerite fell ill and died.
And Palette? Well, he will never
many. He keeps her memory sacred.
He paints with a sadder and more ef
fective touch now, and people say there
is a wonderful deal of heart and poetry
in his work. He supports the mother
and makes her old age free from care.
The father died not long after his
daughter. It is a sad story; it is a story
of romance, but such things show the
better nature of our race. Paris
An Enterprising City.
Nuremburg was a place of considera
tion even in the time of the Emperoi
Henry IV., who ennobled thirty-eight
families there. In 1219 Henry V. raised
it to the rank of a free imperial city, and
during the middle ages it was very im
portaut on account of its enormous traf
fic between the great seaport of Venice
and the countries of the East, and all
Northern Europe. Through its com
merce it became a very rich city, and
its burghers established manufactories
of various sorts, and so built up its
trade that skillful artisans flocked
there, and many discoveries were mads
which still have a great influence in th
The first paper-mill in Germany wa
in Nuremburg, and Koberger's printing
house, with its twenty-four presses, wal
so attractive to authors that they settled
at Nuremburg in order the more con
veniently to oversee the printing oi
their works. Watches called "Nurem
Eggs." were first made about
the clarionet was
invented there.
and church organs were better made
than in,any other German town. A new
composition of brass, the air-gun and
wire-drawing machinery were all
Nuremburgdevices. The filigree silver
and gold work the medals, images,
seals and other artistic jewelry which
were made by the fifty master gold
smiths who dwelt there were famous
far and wide; and this variety of man
ufactures was increased by HirschvogeL
an artisan who traveled in Italy and
learned to make majolica. His factory,
established at Nuremburg in 1507, was
the first in all Germany where such ware
was made. It is not certain that play-ing-cards
were invented in Nuremburg,
but they were manufactured there as
early as 1380, and cannon were cast
there in 1356; previous to this they
had been made of iron bars sol
dered together lengthwise and held in
place by hoops. In short, the manu
facturers of Nuremburg were so widely
known as to give rise to a proverb:
" Nuremburg's band
Goes through every land;"
and thus the city had the sort of im
portance which success and wealth
bring to a person or a place. Clara
Erskine Clemtnt, in SL Nicholas. ,
A woman 108 years old in White
field County, Ga-. asked to be baptised
"The Joe Brown University" is to
be the name of a Georgia college, with'
Senator Brown as patron. '
Union College, Schenectady, has
given, to a lady the important post of
registrarship, and she is discharging
her duties with complete success. Troy
Cardinal Manning recently told a
wealth' congregation, that an attempt
to reach the masses and to provide
something for the suffering of his poor,
was of more account than an endeavor
to raise a second Westminster Abbey.
The old church at Whttingham
Center, Vt., which was built in 1798,
but has been unoccupied and going to
decay for many years, has been pulled
down. It was used at the Centennial
celebration of 1880 by taking out one
side to accommodate the crowd.
Rutland Herald.
The Williams "College Catalegue,"
1883-84, is issued, and shows large
classes and a generally successful state
of things. The Seniors are fifty-four
in number, the Juniors eighty-four,
the Sophomores sixty-oue and the
Freshmen eighty-live. Boston Post.
The school system in England bears
.very unequally upon the artisan class.
The mechanic whose earnings are three
shillings a week for every member of
his family pays no fees, but if this sum
lis exceeded by a single cent he must
'pay. The working classes are thor
oughly dissatisfied with the present reg
ulations. The question of "caste" came up in
the recent meeting of the American
Missionary Association, the subject
being the work in the South. The Ad
vance says: "Shall we organize 'caste'
churches in the South? rib, because
'caste' is unchristian, equally in Geor
gia anil India." No discrimination is
the wise policy proposed.
Rev. R. Cherryman, aged eighty
five, of Hinsdale, Cattaraugus County,
N. Y., who has not preached for several
years, retired to his bed one night re
cently and dreamed a complete sermon.
On the next night the urearu was re
peated word for word, and so vividly
was it impressed upon his mind that
upon arising in the morning he trans
ferred the "dream sermon to paper
and delivered the same from the pulpit
the next Sunday. AH who listened to
it pronounced it the best he ever deliv
ered. Ar. Y. Tribune.
The Providence (R. I.) Press
makes a strong plea in favor of compul
sory education and truancy laws.
"Their effect," it says, "has been jmi
formly salutary. Of course, it is not
claimed that they have entirely done
away with immorality and crime, nor
that they are likely to do so. But it is
claimed, and abundant facts support
the assertion, that the operation of
these laws has directly resulted in a
large and gratifying increase in school
attendance, anil a consequent decrease
in illiteracy, immorality and crime."
Never fear of spoiling children by
making them too happy.
They are vaccinating the Indians
of Alaska. If vaccination will prevent
Indians breaking out, let the doctors
tackle the Apaches. Peck's Sun.
Two farmers saw a couple of dudes
on a street in Troy, when one exclaimed:
"Gosh ! hat thiugs we see wheu
we don't have no gun." Troy (N.Y.)
Long to be remembered such
names as Ascatl'enburg, Sondershausen
and Pietropaulovitz. In fact, they are
too long to be remembered. Oil City
Ef a man is in fabor ob anything
uir ue goou ou lie neiguuornopu ua
calls him a wise man, but ef he is too
much in fabor ob it da calls him crazy
Arkansnw Traveller.
Where do you suppose that man
is driving?" inquired an Austin gentle
man pointing to a flashily dressed fellow
behind a stylish team. "Into bank
ruptcy," was" the quick reply of a by
stander. Texas Sif lings.
What would we do without poets.
The latest piece of information in verse
begins: "The golden rod is yellow."
How horrible it would have been had
the public been obliged to remain under
the hallucination that the golden rod
was scarlet. Ar. Y. News.
Always singing
Sweet Mury Ann had a musical tongue;
By day and by night forever she songue.
And ott on her notes her many friends
But. one day. alas! she ruptured a longue.
Her muic away to the winds was soon
And in joy her near neighbor had all the bells
Boston Transcript.
"Man's greatest need is associa
tion," says a recent work on political
ceonomy. If we had been called upon
for an opinion, we should have thought
of a winter overcoat, a new hat, even
bread and butter, before association.
But then we don't profess to know all
about political economy. Oil City Der
The irrepressible independence of
the average New England boy was well
illustrated by the reply of one to a lady,
who hearing that his father had been
knocked down and injured by a railroad
train remarked, "He will not be likely
to cross in front of an engine again,
will lie?" to which the boy retorted,
"I'll bet he will if he has a mind to."
Boston Advertiser.
"I don't understand why women
dress that way," said a man pointing to
a lady who passed along the street. "I
don'teither," replied a bystander. "That
woman," continued the first speaker,
"is dressed ridiculously. Her husband
must be a fool." "I know he is," re-
!)lied the bvstander. "Do vou know
lira?" "0 yes. I am the fool."
Boston Transcript.
Wonderful Jumping Horses.
"Yes," said tiie reformed hostler to a
reporter, "I had a horse once that
jumped over two hundred feet on a
straight road."
"Did he make it in one iumn ?"
said the converted mule driver.
"Yes," ho made it in one jump,"
said the reformed hostler, "and he'a &
jumped a thousand feet if they'd been
there, as them was pickled pig's feet
in a barrel."
"1 drove a horse once," said the hon
est stage-driver, "that jumped through
a wall four feet thick.
"Did it hurt the wall any ?" said the
reformed hostler, insinuatingly.
"No," said the honest stage-driver,
fiercely, "but it killed the horse."
"Talking of horses jumping," said
the reformed hostler, "we had a horse
that jumped every fence on the farm,
and wound up by "trying to jump over
his own tail."
"Did he do it?" said the converted
mule-driver, breathlesslv.
"No," he didn't," said the reformed
hostler, calmly. N. Y. Journal.
Ke-Appearaace of the Ceset ef 181i.
On the 3d of September Mr. Brooks,
of Phelps, New .York, discovered a tele
scopic comet. Its advent was quickly
made kiiown to the scientific world,
and it was described as round
and faint, and having no tail. Its
course was toward the earth, and it was
hoped that it would become visible to
tha naked eye in two or three months.
It was generally accepted as a new
comer making its first visit to the clime
of the sun, and was known as comet
Brooks, or comet 6 1883.
Instead, however, of being a new
comer, this comet is an old friend that
made its first recorded visit in 1812,
and is known as Pons' comet, from tho
name of the discoverer, or, more sim
ply, as the comet of 1812. Encke, an
astronomer of the time, foun-l that the
comet moved in an ellipse, with a prob
able period of nearly seventy-ono years,
so that its return was looked for about
this time.
The Rev. George Searle, of New
York, was tho observer who discovered
the identity of comet Brooks and the
comet of 1812.
Cometic astronomy was comparatively
in its infancy wheu Encke made the
computation of the orbit of this comet.
It is simply wonderful that, with the
data at his command, he should have
reached a result so nearly accurate.
Within a few years, however, two series
of observations of the comet have been
discovered winch were unknown to
Encke. Two French astronomers,
Messrs. Schulhof and Bossert, under
took to compute the orbit, using all the
data known. The Paris Observatory
published the result of their labors in a
pamphlet of 200 pages. From time to
time the enthusiastic French observers
issued memoranda of the probable posi
tion of the comet when near enough to
be seen. Unfortunately, tho first ob
servations of comet Brooks did not
seem to agree with the French ephem
eris, and it was hastily concluded that
the erratic visitor was a new member
of the cometic family, come to take its
first peep at our little planet.
The Rev. Mr. Searle studied the ques
tion more carefully.and verified thecom
putat ions more accurately. Ho proved
beyond question that the positions
marked out for comet Brooks were
identical at the time of observation with
those in which a comet would be found
that was traveling in the ellipse com
puted by Encke. He went further,
using the new orbit ot" the French
astronomers, and proving that the
comet was observed in tho exact posi
tion where it should have been found
according to the orbit computed seventy
years ago.
Thero is therefore no shadow of a
doubt that our eyes behold the long ex
pected comet of 1812. Its perihelion
passage will take place on the 25th of
January, 1884. It will then be about
60,000,000 miles distant from the earth,
two-thirds the distance of the sun.
In 1812 the comet presented, when
discovered in July, the appearance of
an irregular nebulous mass, with the
tail entirely wanting. In September
the nucleus was live minutes in diam
eter and the tail was two degrees sev
enteen minutes in length. Though not
very bright it was distinctly visible to
the naked eye, and was observed for
ten weeks before it disappeared in the
star depths. The returning comet,
when first seen, presented similar ele
ments. About the 2..d of September,
however, a remarkable and unexpected
outburst occurred, the nucleus expand
ing into a confused circular nebulous
patch of light, and the comet increasing
many times in brilliancy in the course
of two or three days. On the 23d the
nebulous mass was two minutes iu di
ameter; on the 24th it was four min
utes in diameter and shone with a luster
equaling a star of the seventh magni
tude. The activity of the display is al
most unparalleled in cometic history,
and is specially noteworthy on account
of the comet's great distance from tho
sun at the present time. Since this
curious outburst the comet has been a
well-behaved member of the family, bus
it is impossible to predict what vagary
it may next indulge in.
The comet of 1812 may now be seen
in the evening in the northwest in a
telescope of moderate power, and is
said to be visible in a good opera glass.
In a few weeks it will be easily per
ceptible to the unassisted eye, and
when the year 1884 makes its advent,
it will be near its culminating point.
It will not equal the suberb comet of
1882 in siijo or brilliancy, but it will be
visible in the evening sky and will be so
much more convenient to observe that
there will be compensation in its les
sened splendor.
It is an astronomical triumph, that
with the inadequate means at command
for computing an ephemeris, an astro
nomer seventy years ago was able to
predict nearly the exact time for this
comet's return. Our ancient friend is
winging its swift flight toward us, and
before long our eyes will be gladdened
by a sight of its face after a long travel
of threescore years and ten, when
almost ever eye that noted its first ap
pearance has ceased to behold the shin
ing picture that nightly arches over the
earth. There are several comets with
a computed period of from seventy to
seventy-five years. Halley's comet
with a period of seventy-five years is
the only one of them that has made
more than one return. Its last appear
ance was in 1835, and it is next expected
in 1911. The comet of 1812 with a
period of seventy-one years now re
cords its first return. The comet of
1815 with a period of seventy-four
years is confidently anticipated in 1889.
Scientific American.
People who seize pistols at night
and nervously bang away at noises in
their houses generally make mistakes.
Sometimes a somnambulistic mother-in-law
is killed; sometimes a belated son
is laid out, and often an innocent win
dow curtain is destroyed. Mr. Choate,
the teller of a bank in Newark, N. J.,
had good luck a few nights ago. He
fouud an uninvited guest in his house.
Ha promptly killed him. Tho man turns
out to be a genuine unknown burglar.
N-. Y. Times.
im Baker, one of the oldest Rockv
Mountain trappers, has retired from
his wild life, after having spent forty
seven year3 in the wilderness. "Jim,
the Scout," as" he i3 familiarly called in
Denver, is now over seventy, but his
form is still as straight as an arrow,
his eye as bright as a child's, and his
tep as elastic. He is now living in
Denver, and talks of the time when ho
camped in the wilderness which is now
the capital city of Colorado. Chicago
In the last two years thore havo
been 172 enlistments for the signal
service, of which fifty-three were col
lege graduates.
According to the Amtriemm Alma
nac for 1883, the Mormons numbered
3,906 ministers and 110,377 members.
Cincinnati is to have a fourth bridge
over the Ohio River, to be built this
year at a cost of $1,250,000. Ct'ncsa
hati Times.
Orange trees are generally planted
100 per aero. Many trees planted since
1873 in Louisiana are bearing from 800
to 2,000 oranges each under very little
cultivation, and without any commer
cial fertilizer.
New York State last year received
for educational purposes 813000,000.
and spent S12.000.000. In the 115
active savings' banks of the State,
1,000,000 depositors have accounts ag
gregatingS420,831,000. .V. Y. Graphic.
The Commercial Bulletin compute
that the Nation's carelessness in regard
to tiro costs $160,000,000 a year. One
hundred millions vanish In smoke.
Thirty millions ro to sustain our fire
departments. The cost of running our
insurance companies consumes the bal
ance. The following ages have, on the
authority of skilled arboriculturists,
been attained by trees: Yew, 3,200
years; schubortia, 3,000; cedar, 2,000;
oak, 1,500; spruce, 1,200; lime, 1,100;
Orioutal plane, 1,000; walnut, 900;
olive and cypress. 800; orange, 630;
maple, 500; "elm, 300.
The total sales of stocks at the New
York Stock Exchange during 1883 were
over 96,000,000 shares, against ovof
113.000,000 in 1882, and about the same
number in 1881. As the entire numbef
of shares outstanding is but 524,000, the
transactions were about equal to thirty
times the whole capital stock. N. Y.
Last year not a single passenger
riding in a passenger train on the Mas
sachusetts railroads was killed, except
from his own fault, and there were over
31,000,000 passengers carried an average
distance of fifteen miles each. This is
probably the most remarkable record
yet matte in tho way of safety in travel
ing by rail. Bosloil Iust.
It is estimated that there are now
in the Tnited States 15,000,000 milch
cows; aud that there are made annually
1,300,000.000 pounds of butter and 450.
000,000 pounds of cheese. In 1880, as
shown by the census. 772,204.000 pounds
of butter were made on farms, and 29,
451,000 pounds in factories, and a total
of 243,145,000 pounds of cheese. Be
sides this over 17.000.000 pounds of
oleomargariue were also manufactured.
Untied Slates Dairyman.
- The Albany (N. Y.) Penitentiary
lays claim to tno distinction of being
the best conducted penal institution in
tho country. Its aunual report showj
that it has Jheen self-sustaining and
turned a surplus into the county treas
ury every year but oue since 1851.
Since 1819 it has wet expenses, di
bursed nearly 200,G0O on building ad
ditions, and still has an income of $350,
OOOoverall expenses. During the period
42,848 persons have been taken care of.
Albany Journal.
In dis life al'ers try to hep a man
up d hill. He ken go down by hisse'f.
Pltmtation Philosophy.
An evil thought in the heart of a
mau who has a heart is about as trou
blesome as a wasp in the ear. N. Y.
"I hear." said Mrs. Parvenu, "that
Mr. Willow's son took tho diploma at
Yale last ear. I always said Yale waj
an awful unhealthy city." Boston Post.
- Charity is one of the sweetest im
pulses of the human heart; but, to be
truly beneficial, it must be administered
with discriminating judgment. Chica
go Herald.
Do not go without some good reso
lutions. Resolve on something, wheth
er you carry it out or not. As tho poet
It is better to resolvo and fa!!.
Than never to resolve- ut nil.
The Pope is havinjr the roof of the
Vatican refrcscoed. If he thinks this
will keep out the rain, he is greatly mis
taken. He should hire an artist with a
bundle of shingles. Burlington Fret
Mother (to governess): "Come,
work the children out of the room; niv
doctor is comin-." Little daughter
"Oh, mamma, let us stay here. We
want to." Mother "Well, what dc
you want." Little daughter "Why.
you know papa always says the doctoi
leads you abouc by the" nose, and wt
want to see him do "it." Foreign Fun.
'Mother, may Bridget cut that cake
aow?" asked little Johnny last evening,
right in the pn-sence of some company
who had just rot seated. "No, child,
not now." "Oh, yes; -not now.' That's
what you've beensayin' fura week, anil
you said you wuz a go'n' to cut it as
soon as you'd have company." In an
hour or so after Johnny got a slice oi
the cake.- Merchant Traveler.
A Reverie.--We
stood sit the tmrs as tho sun went down
Itebind the lulls on a summer day:
Iter eyes were tender, and 1ik, ami browu.
Iter breath as sweet as new-mown hay.
Kar rrom the west the faint Biin-,lilne
danced sparklinsr from her golden hair:
Those e.ilm. deep eye- were turned on mine
And a look of contentment reitod tliore.
I sne her bathed in the sunlight Hood,
I scf her sending peacefully now;
Peacefully standing and chewing her cud.
A- I rubhed her I'.irs that Jersey cow.
"Get on your wraps now, dearest.
and we'll go out." The fair creature's
eyes sparkled with the excitement ol
anticipation as she exclaimed: "Ami
you have got a double sleigh, of course,
Charley, with three horses hitched
abreast, Russian fashion, silver-mounted
harness and dark builalo robes, and
we'll to out for a dash through Harlem
Lane?" "Well, not exactly," returned
Charley. "We'll walk to the park foi
a slide. "-A1 Y. Mail.
Excuses for Bankruptcy.
One day three or four weeks ago a re
tail grocer over in Jersey sat down with
his clerk one evening and said:
"James, I owe New York houses over
"Yes. sir."
"We have $2,000 in cash in the safe,
the stock hi all ruu down, and this
would be the time to fail in business."
"It certainly would."
"But I want a reasonable apology tc
give my creditors when they come dowi
upon us for explanations. See if yoo
can't think of something to-night, and
let me know in the morning."
The clerk promised, and the grocer
wheeled a chest of tea and a bag qJ
coffee home as a beginning. Next
morning when he appeared at the ato
the safe was open, the cash gone, aad
in the desk was a note from the clerk,
"I have taken tho $2,000, and. am
prepared to skip. It will be the best
excuse in the world for your failing s
fiat that creditors can not realize two
J cents on the dollar.' ' Wail Stmt Nmcx