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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (March 5, 1884)
-- -v ., THE JOTJKNAL. ISSUED EVERY WEDNESDAY, M. K. TtTRlSrER & CO., Proprietors and Publishers. BATES OP ABTETI8M6v ETBmsineM and professional cards of fivs lines or less, per annum, five dollars. For time advertisements, apply at this office. Edriiagal advertisement at statute rates. l3TPor transient advertising, see rates on third page. EsTAll advertisements payable monthly. OFFICE, Eleventh St., up stairs in Journal Building. terms: Per year " rr Sixnionths tarn Three months Single copies VOL. XIV.-NO. 45. r COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. MARCH 5, 1884. WHOLE NO. 721., Im 55Rr1 IEbbbbb bbbbV LaW CbB bIbbbV bbbbTEbbv fmmWmwf T-sbbbbW bbbbi aaaBBBBBBBBBEBBBat sbbbb! bbbbV II IH ' bbbb r aaam Eaam . LL H BV ff f ... I , Ii ' BTJSIHES8 CARDS. D. T. Mautvx, M. D. F. J. SCHCG, 31. D. Drs. HAETYN & SCHTJG, D. S. Examining Surgeons, Local Surgeon. Union Pacific, O., N. ii IS. H. and II. & M. It. K's. Consultations in German and English. Telephones at office and residences. COLUMBUS, - NEBRASKA. 42-y T I WH-SIK. 51. ., 1'HYSICIAN & SURGEON. Diseases of women and children a spe cialty. County physician. Office former 1 y occupied by Dr. lloneateeU Telephone exchange. 39 pHAS. SI.OA.-VE, ( Ykk Lee) CHINESE LA UN DRY. 2TUnder "Star Clothing Store," Ne braska Avenue, Columbu. 2S-3m DENTAL PARLOR. On Corner of Twelfth and North Streets, over'Ernsfs hardware store. SSTOffice hours, S to 12 a. m.; 1 to 5 p. m. Oi-la Asiinxvou, Dentist. noxKivLius v: nubmtaiv. ATTORNEYS-AT-LA W, Up-stair.s in GlucU Kuildiug, 11th street, Above the Xcw bank. TT J. IIUUSO!, NOT A 11Y P UBLIC, 12th Street, i doors net of Hammond How, Columbus, Neb. 491-y rpilURSTO & POWERS, SUJIGEON DENTISTS, 3T Office in Mitchell Block, Colum bus, Nebraska. H-tf J G. KEKDEK, A TTORNE Y AT LA W, Office on Olive St., Columbus, Nebraska. i:-tr pt O. A. HULLHOUST, A. M., M. D., 11 OMEOPA Till C 1'llYSI CI AN, jSTTwo Blocks south of Court House. Telephone communication. 5-ly V. A. MACKEN, DEALER IN Wines, Liquors. Cigars, Porters, Ales, etc., etc. Olive Street, next to First National Bank. SO-v -4TcAIXINTEK 1JKOS., A TTORNEYS A T LA W, Office un-stairs in McAllister's build ing. 11th St. AV. A. McAllister, Notary Public. J. JW MACFARUISD, B. R- COWDERY, Aticrrey ti H:7 TUXz. Cellicttr. LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE OK MACFARXjAND & COWDERr, Columbus, : : : Nebraska. r EO. IV. BEBRl'. PAINTER. JSTCarriagc, house and sign painting, glazing, paper hanging, kalsominiug, etc. done to order. Shop on 13th St., opposite Engine House. Columbus, Neb. 10-y TH H.RUSCMISt llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel. Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, "Whips, Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, trunks, valises, buggv tops, cuhions, carriage trimmings, ive- at the lowest possible prices, llepairs pr mptly attended to. JS. MURDOCK & SON, Carpenters and Contractor. Havehad an extended experience, and will guarantee satisfaction in work. All kinds of repairing done on short notice. Our motto is. Good work, and fair prices. Call and give us an oppor tunitvtoestimateforyou. JgTShop on 13th St, one door west of Friedhof & Co's. store, Columbus. Ncbr. 483-v O. C. SHANNON", 3IAKCXACTORKR OF Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware ! Job-Work, Roofing and Gutter ing a Specialty. ISrShon on Eleventh Street, opposite Heintz's Drue Store. -iC-y G W. CLARK, LAND AND INSURANCE A GENT, HUMPHREY, NEBR. His lands comprise some fine tracts in the Shell Creek Valley, and the north ern .portion of Pl?tte county. Taxes paid for non-residents. Satisfaction guaranteed. 20 y OEU-IIBUS PACKING CO., COLUMBUS, - NEB., Packers and Dealers in all kinds of Hog product, cash paid far Live or Dead Hogs or grease. Directors. It H nenry, Prest.; John "Wiggins, Sec. and Treas.; L. Gerrard, S. Cory. -NOTICE TO TEACHERS. J. E. Moncrief, Co. Supt, "Will be in his office at the Court HoUBe on the third Saturday of each month for the purpose of examining applicants for teacher's certificates, and for the transactton of any other business pertaining to schools. 5G7-y TAMES SALMON, CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plans and estimates supplied for either frame or brick buildings. Good work fuaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near tPaul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne braska. 52 Cmo. J. WAGNER, Livery and Feed Stable. Is prepared to furnish the public wfth rood teams, buggies and carriages for all, ceaslea, especially tor funerals. .. Ala csadacts a safe stable.- 44 pxztaiv -' National Bank! COX.T71CBUS. Authorized Capital, Cash Capital, $250,000 50,000 OFFICERS AMD DIRECTORS. A. ANDERSON, Pres't. SAH'L C. SMITH. Vice Pret't. O. T. EOEN, Cashier. .1. W. JJABLY, ROBERT UHLIG. HERMAN OEHLRICH, TV. A. MCALLISTER, G. ANDERSON, , P. ANDERSON. Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage Tickets, Real Estntc, Loan ana insurance. 9-Tol-lS-ly COAL LIME ! .I.E. NORTH & CO., DEALERS IN Coal, Hair, Cement. Rock Spring Call, $7.00 p tei Cirbon (Wyomiig) Ceil 6.00 " Eldon (Iowa) Coal S.50 " Blacksmith Coal of best quality al ways on hand at low est prices. North. Side Eleventh St., COLUMBUS, NEB. 14-3m UNION PACIFIC LAND' OFFICE. . Improved and Unimproved. Farms, Hay and Grazing Lands and City Property for Sale Cheap AT THE Union Pacific Land Office. On Long Time and low rate of Interest. KiTFinal proof made on Timber Claims, Homesteads and Pre-emptions. J3TA11 wishing to bur lands of any de scription will please call and examine my list of lands before looking else where E5TA11 having lands to sell will please call and give me a description, term , prices, etc. jFl a'so am prepared to insure prop erty, as I "have the agency of several llrrit-class Fire insurance companies. F. VT. OTT, Solicitor, speaks German. AMI!KL C SMITH, 30-tf Columbus, Nebraska. BECKER & WELCH, PROPRIETORS OF SHELL CREEK HILLS. MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE SALE DEALERS IN FLOUR AND MEAL. OFFICE. COLUMBUS, NEB. SPE1CE & NORTH. General Agents for the Sale of REAL ESTATE. Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to S10.00 per acre for cash, or on fire or ten years time, in annual payments to suit pur chasers. We haTe also a large and choice lot of other lands, improved and uniniproved,for:aale-at low. Triee ad on reasonable terms. Also businessaad residence lots it the city. We keep a complete abstractof titjeto all real es tate in Platte County. C21 COLUMBUS, ZVE1 LOUIS SCHKELBEK; Blacfofflit!! aDOWagoa later. All kimds of - Repairiig dsie ei Sheri Netice. Biggies, Wag- ois, etc., siade tt trier, aid all werk Giar- aateed. Alee sail the worU-faseu Walter A. ai aaTii USA ttf aiatei-tiw was 'Skep eapesiU the "TatteTaan," eal ' (Wre 3t COLUMBUS. ItSt ' A LEAP-YXAM EPISODE. Can I forget that winter nlt In eifhteeB elffhty'f oor. Wken NeIHe, eharbr HtUe sprite, Camo tapplnr at the.door? "Good evealna;. atlas." I, bloahlnc. said J For la mj heart I fnew . Aad, kaovlaf.'telBs; say pretty seed - Ibat Kailie caaae to woo. the clasped myM. red head, and fell AdowB- usoa ker lnifea, -And cries: ."Tea kaew 1 leva jrou walL So be my buatano, pleaaar And then she swore aae'd ever be - A tandar wife and tree ' Ak. wkatdsllcBt It was bm XkatJIeUleGajBeteweoI She'd lace mjr shoes and darn mj hose And mend xay ahirta, she aald. And grease mjr coiaeir Roman nose Each night on solas; to bed; She'd build the Area and fetch the coal, ' Aad split the ktadUna, too Love's perjuries o'erwnelmed her soul When NoUle caasa to woo. And as I, bhiahiBg-, aTe ae eaeok To her adrancea rash. c Ska twined her arau. about air And toyed with mj ainataehe; And then she pleaded for a kiss. While I what could I do Bat oojlr yield bm to that bUas When Nellie easae to woo r A eprceoua oiaaaoaa nor. And I shall wed my lorelj lalr Soae time In geaUe-epHBg': I face air doom without a slit And so, forsooth, would you. If you but loved aafoad as L And Nellie came to woo. Chicago THE SPKSE.MAI1VS PLACE. "What shaU I do?" said Linda Car roll, folding her white hands together. 'Grandma's fortune has gone up like a sky-rocket Grandma does nothing but cry, and I haven't a friend in the country, or any means of earning a dol lar. They wouldn't take me anywhere as governess, or as sales-woman in any store, without experience and refer ences. Pre painted a flower piece1 and it hangs in the stationer's window as it has hung for six months. "I offered to sew for the dress-maker and as soon as she saw my needlework she said: 'Ah, goodness gracious, that would never do!' My superficial edu cation' was very well for a young, heir ess, but it is of no use to a poor girl who needs to earn her living; and I oe gin to be afraid that what Grandma says about sitting on the corner and holding out our hands may come true, absurdas it sounds. Who is that?" "Me, Miss," said a voice in the crack of the door, and a rosy Irish face of sixty was thrust in. "I come to see had you any pieces for the wash to day?" Tve been obliged to do my own washing, Mrs. MacLynn," replied Linda. "Sure, wasn't ye suited, Miss?" cried the woman. "It was wet weather and the last was dried indoors, and not so white as I'd like." "I was very well suited, I. am sure, Mrs. MacLynn," said Linda, "but we've been losing money, and my purse was empty. 1 couldn't afford to pay for it." "Lord help you. Miss. I'm sorry to hear it," said Mrs. MacLynn; "but there's trouble everywhere. Here's my own cousin, Katie Wiggins her mother was my aunt's second'nusband's wife's brother-in-law's daughter fell down a flight of stairs and broke her leg, and shecook in an illigant house at thirty dollars a month. They took her to the hospital the day. Sure it is a good place she had. and the sarvent's wages wonderful. Fourteen dollars a 'month for a girl to mind the baby! Well, good morning. Miss." "I suppose I could mind the baby, at least," thought Linda. And then she remembered the landlady's black looks at dinner time. "Perhaps I could board grandma in the country for that sum,". sho thought, "and get .the traveling expenses by sell ing my .jewelry. Things are getting desperate:" And she took up the news paper and looked over the advertise ments. " ' Wanted a young, genteel, person to take charge of a little boy.1 " she read. Perhaps that might do, if I can swallow my pride," she sighed. And noting the number, she put on her plainest hat and mantle and hurried out into the street. She found the house after a walk of an hour a handsome residence and, having been ushered into the reception room, was received by a neat, elderly woman. "The-arrangements are all left in my hands," said this person, smoothing her black. and white gingham apron. You would be wanted to take care of a motherless child. Poor Mrs. Bellamy died last week, and a common servant will not do. Mr. Bellamy relies on my discretion. Pm the housekeeper have been for ten years. He is a broken hearted man; never looks up. or speaks to anyone. Dear Mrs. Bellamy now inheaven had amost trying disposi tion. I believe she generally scolded him all night; and she got pneumonia throwing up the window because, he shut it. ' But that was all her nerves, and he adored ,her. He'll never recover her loss, He has a hat-band all over his hat,and her miniature and hair in a locket, en: his watch chain. You won't expect much gayety in this afflicted household, but you'll have Sunday afternoon I'll take Master Thomas then and an evening7' once-' a Week. What.references?" Linda smiled. "Would grandma do?" she asked. And then she told. her little story. . Mrs: Possett listened and considered. finally she agreed to waive reference, and offered twenty dollars a month. Tast sum. Linda knew would secure an upper, hall-room in her presentplaoe of residence for her grandmother, and she accepted the position, thankfully." At home.shespbke ot.her;position as that of a governess, an: tho old lady wept afresh, as well she .might, when Linda's modest trunk. was" carried away. Master Tommy was an unmanageable little boy, who seemingly inherited his mother's temper. 'A.regiaf battle was necessary before The could he washed or clothed. He. refused to go to bed. at night, and he refused to get up in the morning.. When one took him for a walk he Tan away. He climbed out of the windows and' stood -'upon the sill. He tore things for mere mitchieTs sake, and. was as fond .of biting as.a mad slog; but Linda was cool, quiet aad good-humored. In a week or so she got the' mastery over him, and even be gan.to teach, him, something. ..Of-tha father she-sw:aothir,bot.at night she beard.kim pafingeoie room, over head with loaganoTsolemn strides. "If s his conscienceV-my dear1 said Mrs. Posset; 4He-:says Missnrefie wasn't all he should be to his poor Amanda, and that he broke her heart. He never even answered-her back, and Fve had him get . in the night and go everywhere to buy. strawberries when tksy were3KiB season wecauia BMwaeetorJkafinz.'n. Sisewasa, ttvlMciawMJy 4SK i(ik i wiiH"W - - - Mta vem1 when: - ske nvwi a'wacr err wiw'ta ctosoajE Undajrrew curious to see this par agon, iie day she was gratified. She had left Master Tommy in the nursery and gone down stairs to get a tub of hot water for his bath; when she re turned he was gone. She hurried about the house, and soon heard low groans from the study on the second floor. The door stood open; peeping in she saw a tall man lying on a sofa and Master Tommy standing near by, pull ing out his hair by handfulls. With every tug the sufferer groaned, bat made no resistance, "Tommy," called Linda, "Tommy, come here. Really, sir, you ought not to allow, that." Tommy obeyed and ran to her. The martyr lifted up his head. "Don't disturb him." he said, mourn fully. "I would deny nothing to her child. I wish to do my duty by hint at least." "That is not the way to do it, sir," said Linda. "Absurd indulgence is in jurious to any child" She led Tommy away. The next morning, as she was in-. stracting bin in the alphabet, tan cried head of black hair appeared at Ae door; a thin, tall figure followed,- and Mr. Bellamy, with a dejected air and tone, inquired: "May I come in?" Linda hastened to place a chair, and went on with her lesson. The father eyed her with a wistful look. "You seem to manage him," he said I try to, sir," said Linda. "He has his sainted mother's face," said Mr. Bellamy. The child, with his blunt nose, and rough, red cheeks, was not particularly saint-liko,,but Linda, as in duty bound, bowed gravely. "It comforts me to see him," said Mr." Bellamy. "May I come often?" "This is your own house, sir," said Linda. From that day Mr. Bellamy sat in the nursery a great deal. In the evenings he took Tommy to walk. At the end of that month he raised Linda's wages. As the summer wore on, and the year of his mourning glided by, he be stowed many confidences on his nursery governess. He remembered each cause of complaint his late wife had had against him and desired Linda's opin ion.. Generally she found him not to blame. By slow degrees he grew more cheerful, and at last brought home a top for Tommy and set it humming. On the anniversary of his wife's death he took Linda and Tommy to her grave and wept there. "A broken-hearted man is Mr. Bel lamy," said Mrs. Posset "But it seems singular to me that he didn't ask me to take the child instead of you." The week after Mrs. Penfeather and one of. Tommy's aunts came to make a visit. ' There was a good deal of whis pering in the housekeeper's room; and one evening Mrs. Penfeather entered the nursery with a haughty air, and, seating herself ill a rocking-chair, ad dressed herself to Linda: "I am the late Mrs. Bellamy's mother, as I suppose you know, and I have come over to see how Tommy is Setting on. I can't say I think he is oing well at all, and I believe I can find a better nurse-maid for him. So, as your month is up next Monday, Til pay you now in placo of warning, and you can pack up at once." Linda looked at the old lady quietly, paused a moment, said-"very well," and walked out of the room. Her little trunk stood in the store-room; she opened it and began to take down her few plain gowns. Suddenly Tommy's voice reached her, crying: "Where's mj' Linda?" and she heard the grandmother say: "Linda is going awav. She's naugh ty." Then she realized that she had come to love Tommy, and tears fell fast up on the garments she was packing. "Crying?" said a voice behind her. "Why, Linda, what has happened?' Tm very foolish, that's all, Mr. Bel lamy. It is only leaving Tommy," she answered, without looking around. "Leaving Tommy? What do you mean?" cried Mr. Bellamj. He came into the store-room and stood near her, looking down at her. "Mrs. Penfeather has dismissed me," she said. "Butrhave not," said Mr. Bellamy. He bent toward her; he looked at her as a master seldom looks at a servant. Suddenly Liuda understood all. "It is right that I should go," she thought; and yet her tears fell faster. Yes, she not only loved Tommy, but she certainly liked Mr. Bellamy very much. "It will break the child's heart if you go," said Mr. Bellamy Mrs. Pen feather oversteps her privileges. Lin da, my dear child, you can't go. I have thought for some time that yon never must, it is mv duty to inve little Tommy a mother, and I I'm so very fond of you. Won't you marry me?" He put his arm about her waist He had such a soft kind way, though he was weak and womanish. "Say yes, Linda," he said. But she answered: "Not now; not here," and hurried her clothes into her trunk He stood by dejectedly. "Think jt over, Linda," he pleaded' And she promised. In the little hall bedroom, such a tight fit for two, she talked it over with her. grandmother that night Linda had had dreams of gallant knights and young princes, like other girls; and Bellamy was neither. But she felt as he needed to be taken care of; and there was Tommy. And it was a good match, as her grandmother said. And so it came to pass that there was a wedding, one day at Mrs. Scroll's board ing bouse, and thai afterwards Linda and her grandmother went home to the old house, where Tommy waited for their coming. Mrs. Possett gave warning. She could not keep house for a former nurse-maid, she . declared. But no housekeeper was needed, and what Grandma. Penfeather said mattered' lit tle tov young. Mrs. Bellamy. She is very happy, and so is the old. grandmother, whom Tommy adores; while Mr. Bellamy admits to himself that though his sainted first wife was adorable, his second one is simply per fection, and has the advantage of a sweet temper and no nerves. "I had no idea my nurse-maid's place would be so permanent;" Linda often thinks to herself; "but I love both my.babies the young one and the old one-dearly." X. T. Ledger, A Louisville-clergyman said in bis sermon on: Sunday morning that-if women and -men would only dance in. sepjarato rooms he would not object to dancing It would be' just as graceful, heciaiaaed, and just as healtfalal exer dsVaadi they could keep step to- tho 4mde;just thVsme LcuisxiUcOmr-itr-JburniU. ' - Japanese Fans. Twenty years ago these fans, which now abound in every house, and which may be bought by the dozen at a nom inal price, were regarded as .genuine curiosities. Now, from the very reason that they are cheap and common, they are rarely examined, although their utility as a protection against fire heat, or as tilling up a blank corner, and their ornamental qualities when dexter ously bound in worked satin, are gener ally acknowledged. Yet each of these fans is in reality a curiosity, and there is far more food for study in them than in half the blue-smudged china, which fetches fabulous prices in the market The fan painters of Japan are. an es pecial. Separate guild, as distinct from artists in other branches as with us the scene painter is from the portrait iainter. The unknowing Englishman ooking at a Japanese fan sees nothing in it but upon one side a grotesque rep resentation of the "penny plain and twopence colored" order, and upon the other a few crude splashes of ink But to the.istizen of Toklo or Osaka each fan carries a special signification a story, or part of a story; an allusion, a satire, or a suggestive idea. To a cer tain degree the fan is to the Japanese citizen what Pundi or the window of the Stereoscopic Company is to the Londoner. If a political event of some importance takes place, it is sure to be followed by a Hood of new fans upon the market, and the Japanese, who have the keenest sense of humor and ridicule, find that to libel, or criticise. or caricature oy means ol a fan, is safer and cheaper than by means of the press. When Japan was first thrown open to a certain extent to for eigners and even for some time after, until the natives grew accustomed to their new guests, it was difficult to take up a fan without being confronted by some hideous caricature of Western personal appearance, manners and cus toms. But now that every town-bred native tries to look as much as possible like an European, and that the common crowd have become familiar with ci- Srs and breeches, the fountain head of l ridicule is the powers that be. Fan libel is a cheaper and safer mode of procedure than pen libel, because the public eensors are thoroughly ac quainted with the editors and proprie tors of the few public journals, while the number of fan artists and mer chants is legion. Not always does the reverse side the plainer side of the Japanese fan bear a well-known al lusion. Sometimes it is a simple cari cature, and an examination of one of these caricatures reveals that however crude and sketchy the execution, the most genuine vein of humor lies be neath it especially if it be what is deemed the forte of Japanese carica turists the delineation of grotesque animals. Sometimes we get a bit of landscape, the inevitable Pruji yama, or a tea house by a torrent, or a coun try side represented by a few apparent ly random dashes, of which each, how ever, tells its tale or we get one of those weird moonlight effects of whrch the Japanese are so fond. The great characteristic of all these is truth to nature. The rabbits nibbling at a bale of rice may have clothes on, but they are rabbits for-all that; foxes espe cially are delineated in all conceivable attitudes and costumes, but they are perfect foxes; so with wild birds, frogs, monkeys, fish aud storks. The gaudy side of the Japanese fan is invariably a serious piece of work, and the scenes depicted are generally either bits from a popular drama ox from one of those countless legends and stories which have delighted Japanese' of all classes and ages from time im memorial, and in many cases bear so strong a family likeness to the stories familiar to English childhood. The popular actor in Japan shares with the popular wrestler the privilege of bask ing in the sunshine of the best circles oi society; he has always .been very much what the English popular actor prom ises to become, the darline of the masses and the favorite of the Court Consequently hi3 "portrait" appears on the fans, and although to us the faces on Japanese fans appear as like one another as are the faces of Sir Petex Lely's beauties in Hampton Court Pal ace, the Japanese citizen pretends to discover a likeness by the accessories. So there are certain plays in which these actors take chief parts, and ol which Tokio audiences never weary; and, as a rule, the printed side of the fan represents a scene from one of these plays perhaps Karukayo, the self exiled prince, with his child clinging to him, or a scene from the famous play of the "Forty-Seven Ronins," or an in cident from the touching history oi Gompachi and Komurosaki, or 'the Prince of Sendai lamenting his lost love on the shores of Takasago Bay. The legends and stories are plentifully drawn upon by the Japanese fan artists, and every child knows at once when he sees Inari, the fox god, or Hatchiman, the war god, .or Iyeyas, the warrior priest, or Bcnten, the goddess of Ihe sea, or any other hero or heroine of popular mythology, just as an i-nglish child knows Blue Beard or Cinderella. All classes appreciate the artistic value of the fan in Japan. The great lord at the Council, the merchant over his counting board, the priest presiding at the money coffer, the tea-house girl calling out to passers by to "rest their honorable limbs," the pilgrim toiling up the holy mountain, the coolie resting on the pole all see in it something to amuse or something to interest As the fan accompanies the Japanese at all hours and under all circumstances, it is not surprising that it plays something more than the part of a machine for wafting cool air. To the illiterate man it is a book; to the oppressed man it is a reviver; to the political student it is a suggester; to the child it is a story teller. London Globe. Twenty-three ostriches stalked np to the New Orleans Times-Democrat reporter and began to peck at his coat buttons, and Mr. L. J. Selfridge ex plained that he had imported the birds for breeding, and that they are the best that the American Ostrich Company's agent could find in South Africa. They were brought in padded ostrich stalfs three and a half by four and a half feet and fire feet high, and arranged in the ship's hold as houses are in a city, and in pleasant weather the birds were ex ercised, four at a time, in the streets thus formed! For food they werepro vided with i; 100 pounds of cut forage, 1,600 pounds of barley, 3,000 pounds of Natal mealies, 1,000 pounds of crushed bones, 100 pounds of rock salt, 1,000 heads of cabbage. .800 bunches of car rots aad 800 of onions. A Bangor (Me.) young man broke Ws engagement alleging that his sweet heart couldn't cook She replied that ak could "cook herrings," and ;,ybu knew darned well them's all you can' afbrd to pay for:" Boston Transcript. The Maaaffist; Mamma ami Mer Serea Paatataca, What is this? This is a managing mamma, darling. Why a "managing mamma?" Because she 'is managing or trying to manage. To do what? To marry off her daughters. My! that is a huge undertaking? Mountainous, my precious. . But those seven gawks lagging be hind her? Sh! Those, dear, are her. charming and accomplished daughters. But that sallow old girl with the gig lamps and stiff nock ? That, my precious, is Mathilde, the literary light of the family. How "literary?" Well, Mathilde has read Swinburne and Herbert Spencer, knows two Pro fessors of tho Concord School of Philos ophy, has published four poems in the Philadelphia Ledger, and can write verse all night long. Besides, Mathilde knows four constellations, Mathilda does, acts in amateur theatricals, and is writing a play. Gracious! and how old is she? Just nineteen, sweet And who is tho wall-eyed young lady with freckles and fever blisters walking with Mathilda? That dear, is Angele, the beauty of the family. How the "beauty?" Well, whenever they get up tableaux at the church Angele is selected, and that proves it How old is Angele? Just nineteen, love. And that one immediately behind Mathilde? the young lady with the crooked teeth and a nose lice an india rubber shoe run down at the heel? That, darling, is Therese? And what does she do? She is the good girl of the family goes to church twice a day, says grace at meals, and works Bible-marks for every man she meets. now old? Just nineteen. Next? the pudding-faced girl with twisted hair? That is Marie. WeU? Marie is the flirt of the family. Marie uses slang and purses up her mouth, smokes cfgarrettes and makes faces, and always says what an awful bad, naughty girl, she has .been, and is gen erally as playful as a kitten. Old? Just nineteen, dear. Next? the meek little dunce with a figure like a shad? Madeleine. Well, what is the matter with her? She is the housekeeper of the family. Madeleine can cook right through four cook-books; she can make her own dresses. I could have guessed as much my self. Sh! and then Madeleine looks after everything, and sees that everything is right, and oh! well there's no end: to the comfort brought about by Made leine. She is just nineteen, too, I suppose? Nineteen last week, darling. Next? that bilious scarecrow in the hat? Sh! that niy precious, is Belle. Well, what is the chronic trouble with Belle? Why, Belle has traveled, and she is the wit of the family. When Lord Muf fyn was telling a long story to Angele, last evening. Belle told him to " saw it off," and "cheese it" That was very funny. Yes, dear. You say she has "traveled?" Yes, dear. Where? Well, she has been in Colorado, and Chicago and Milwaukee. Her age? Just nineteen, sweet Well, now tell me about that poor little consumptive, with gold teeth. That dear, is Celeste. Nineteen? Just Any miraculous talent t Yes, darling. What? A " voice." Cultivated? Well, Signor Tutti Frutti di Vermi celli says that he thinks about 200 les sons will "develop" it Boston Globe. In FaTor ef Cremation. Every one who has seen the opened vault of a noble family has been shocked by the repulsive objects ex posed the stained and decaved velvet coverings, the rotting wood, the lead coffin flattened to half its original depth. All that can be said in favor of mausoleums is that they a.-e a little less repugnant at first to feeling than the cold, clayey, damp and dismal earth grave. The stone sarcophagus is decidedly the better form of burial, but it is not procurable for one in a quarter of a million, and as the population goes on increasing the cemeteries will be come as objectionable as the old grave yards, with their hideous arrangement of tier on tier of coffins until the surface is reached, and the ground becomes a foetid mass, carrying death in its swift est and most terrible forms among the healthy living. After death from such diseases as smallpox and scarlet fever it becomes necessary to destroy by fire the bedding and clothes of the deceased, and to extend destruction to the body is but another step in a sanitary direction. Repellant as destruction by tire may at first seem, is it not to be preferred to the slow and sickening process of cor ruption? Much may he said in favor of the saving of the expense of the or dinary funeral to many families a most distressing burden when least able to bear it of avoiding the many risks of infection in large towns from the use of the mouldy mourning car riage; and where expense is a first ob ject for consideration, the saving of the cost of the grave and tombstone is not to be disregarded. The new system would allow of more frequent monu ments, tablets and windows in churches and chapels, and would be useful in collecting the records now strewed over the face of large cemeteries. The main difficulty in the way is the, provision of public crematoria. Men of large for tune and landed estate can have- their own funeral temples and crematoriums, not the great mass of the public will seek facilities for burning their dead in, vain until public opinion, backing up the recommendations of the .medical profession and the suggestions of com mon sense, shall demand the legisla tion of a recognized national system of cremation, and this is only a matter of ' time. Sherborne (Eng.1 Journal. Such is the location of Eagle City, Nev., in the Cosur, d'Alene' Mountains; that the sun does not shine upon it until" eleven a. m., and then only for an hoar, disappearing behind the mountains at aeon. Chicago Tinm. E. D. Wlaslaw, lie Bestea Fencer. . A gentleman who does business in Bnenos Ayrcs gave me the other 'day many interesting details in regard to E. D. Wimuow, the Boston forger, who is now such a prominent figure, in -thai South American, city. His present name, as many readers know, is W. D. Low, a name assumed by him on his arrival in Uruguay. I do not remember eyer to have heard of a more interesting and romantic career than his. Winslow was dropped out of the navy in 1869,' having served as a chaplain from' 1864. His newspaper and other enterprises in Boston, which were cut short by the discovery of his forgeries, occupied him for three or four years, and his present career dates, I- believe, foam about the year. 1875 or 1876. Since his arrival in Buenos Ayrea fortune seems to have smiled upon his every endeavor, and, although his former record' is well known, ne is treated as a reputa ble person, and is regarded as one of the most successful men of the place. Almost immediately on his arrival m Bnenos Ayres, he succeeded in borrow ing money sufficient to establish his newspaper, the Daily Herald. This has been a success from the start and is now published in French and Spanish, as well as in English. This is a Sunday taper as well as a daily, and Mr. Wins ow's religious homilies in his Sunday edition are said to be as good reading as the latitude of Buenos Ayres affords, ue has become the owner of a handsome block of build ings, drives the best pair of horses in Buenos Ayres, which, by the way, is a city of 500.000 people, and lives in a handsome quints on the out skirts. He has a telephone from his business office to his residence and does most of' his editing there. Soon after his arrival in Buenos Ayres he Suc ceed in marrying a young woman and went to England on his wedding trip, but remained there but a short time, for fear of an application from" the United States for his extradition. My informant says that since he has been in Buenos Ayres he has been to Europe twice on important missions for the Government of that country and that he has the entree at tho President's house, where he even takes precedence of the President's ministerial advisers, who are obliged to wait until his busi ness is done before they go to do theirs. He is so powerful that he would have no difficulty in breaking down any per son who should undertake to expose or ODDOse him. and no one cares to do it He is a member of the principal club of the place and is personally intimate with the American Minister. He has experienced only one rebuff since his residence in that country began, which was his expulsion from the church on account of the disclosure of his base treatment of his first wife, whom he abandoned to penury in Massachusetts. It is said that he has not manifested any disposition to pay off the amounts real ized out of his forgeries in Boston. His credit in Buenos Ayres is said to be ex ceedingly good, and prominent mer chants are always ready to lend him all the money that he wants. If this is not a remarkable career then I never heard of one. Washington Cor. Boston Her' aid. Dirty Neapolitans. It is singular, more than singular, that a people full of piety, charged with love of art and surrounded by every thing in nature that is lovely and beau tiful, should be so under the domina tion of the fiend dirt. It is singular that they should not make some faint efforts to assimilate themselves to the conditions about them, that they should not get into some sort of harmonious relations with their surroundings. But they don't The Neapolitan is irrevocably dirty. In his natural stato he makes no eQbrt at cleanliness, but resigns himself to dirt, pure and sim ple. His body is as tilthy as it can be. and he has not even the hypocrisy to attempt to deceive a confiding world by keeping his hands and face clean. He wears dirt as a badge, it is a self-evident obtrusive truth. When partially tamed, as in tho cose of a shopman or shopwoman, a waiter at a hotel, or a musician, any occupation where he or she must come in contact with other people who have a prejudice 'against filth, he does attempt cleanliness, but it is a hollow mocker, a sham so thin that it is at once detected. He over does cleanliness as all men do who at tempt that for which" they have no taste. His neck i so scrupulously clean down to the line where the collar encircles the throat that you know at once that from that po'int downward the body is in its normal condition, and if your eyes bear testimony to hi3 clean liness your nose does not He carries with him his own condemnation one sense opposes the other. You feel that his collar has been turned, that the other end of his turned cuffs are filthy; and that his stockings are something awful. And as the pretense of clean liness" on a dirty man or woman is worse than the undisguised article, worse than self-evident dirt, you turn from the bo gus article and give your preference to the natural unwashed. Likewise in the matter of honesty. If a Neapolitan had the remotest idea of business, could he persuade himself to deal fairly with any one. and do busi ness as other people do, he would make much more money. Should he ask even doublo the value of an article and stick to it, he would get it, and he would do a great deal more business. But as it is people buy as littlg as possible. No one knows what to offer and everybody expects to be swindled, no matter how much of a reduction from the asking price they get The Neapolitans seem to regard falsehood as u luxury and swindling as an enjoyment The dirt and dishonesty of Naples are greater than Vesuvius, and longer to be remembered than Sorrento. You never get either out of your nose and feelings. Think of Naples and these two blemishes rise first in the mind Were tho southern end of the peninsula to sink into the sea, the world, so far as the people are concerned, would be the better for it TIs true and pity 'tis 'tis truo. D. R. Locke, in Toledo Blade. Some New York doctors should pay their bills promptly. The following are thsir reputed, yearly incomes: Lewis Sayre, deformity specialist $40,000; Austin Flint, sr., liver, and lungs, $30, 000; Cornelius Agnew.eye and ear, $20, 000; T. E. Thorna.?. diseases of women, WO.OOOr Robert Taylor, deformities, $35,000; Alfred Loomis, fevers, $35,000; W. A. Hammond, nervous diseases, $35,000;. J. M. Carnochan, surgery of the bones, ' $25,000; Abraham Jacobi, diseases of children, $25,000. N. Y. '.Mm.. New York's organized charities dispensed $5,348,223 during 1883. N: J. Sum FEISOXaL AXP IMPEKS05AL., Hamilton Disston, the Philadelphia SatDfonaire, carries $400,000 life in nrsnee. James K. Polk was the only man who ever got from the Speaker's chair Into the White House. CntcafOJOurnuL ' Joseph Elcher, of Sherman, Tex.-, divided his property among his children and they then sent him to the poor house. N. Y. Times.. Rhoda Howard, of Owingsville, Ky., one hundred and sixteen years of age, has smoked tobacco over one hun dred years. Louisville Courier-Journal. Miss Minnie Hill, niece of the late Georgia Senator, met Todd Read at a fashionable wedding at West Point Ga.. recently, for the first time, and married him the same day. Chicago Times. The Postmaster-General has decided that Miss Mary Fields shall.be reap pointed postmistress at Indianola, Tex., tho charge brought against her that she expects to get married not being a capi tal offense. Stephen M. Meredith, a young lawr yer of Reading, Pa., who disappeared for a time under some discouraging cir cumstances, has returcd home, ana vol intarily subscribed to an oath before an Alderman that he will never again play at any game of cards or billiards either for pleasure or gain, or participate di rectly or indirectly in any form of. gam bling. Philadelphia Record. Emma Abbott said the other day to a Detroit Times reporter that she had among her costumes one elegant dress of hand-embroidered brown velvet aud camels' hair, which she could neither get into nor out of without help. "My maid," she said, "assists me, and but tons the two rows of buttons with a shoe-hook. Then I feel just as if I were a trussed mummy. I must say, though, its fits divinely.'r Some time ago Mr. G. Alwyne Smith, a son of Lord Cam'ngton, ol England, and a young man who will in herit great wealth, went to Kansas City, Mo., and fell in love with a young lady named Maud Henckle. an excellent girl, a member of a once rich Southern fam ily, but now reduced in circumstances, so that Miss Henckle found it necessary to work for a livelihood as a clerk. He has married her and will take her to England, in the hopes that the "old folks" will be pleased 'with her. Chi cago Journal. Miss Sabra Phillips, who is a maiden Jady of Norwood, R. I., has finished her one-hundredth year. She lives alone, does all her own housework, saws wood for her own fire, and brings it on her back from the woods. She is a constant reader of the Bible and religious books, and reads without glasses. She is the last of her generation. She ho3 buried two sister, Esther dying at the age of one hundred years, ana Hannah at near ly the same age. Each of these sisters retained her faculties to the last The whole generation to which they be longed reached the advanced age of from eighty-five to one-hundred. Prov idence Journal. "A LITTLE JiOSSEXSE." Grief is a queer passion. It in creases tho sighs, and still causes ouo to piue away. Marathon ImUpemlcnl. A boy is called a "a young hopeful" because the one hopeful thing about him is that he will not always be young. Exchange. "I beg a thousand pardons for com ing so late." "My dear sir." replied the lady, gracefully .""no pardons are needed- You can never come too late." Punch. "You s-see," said Blooms to his sweet heart, in describing how he stepped on a lady's train and tore it, "1 1-lost my h-head, you know!" "Did you miss it much?" "she cruelly queried. Chicago Times. "What are you children doing down there?" called an up-town woman to her 3'oungsters in the basement. "Nothing', mamma:" was the response. "Well, what makes you so long about it?" de manded the exacting matron. Ar. Y. Commercial Advertiser. Disraeli said a short time before his death: "You cannot convert fifteen thousand tons into twenty thousand tons." This will cause ice dealers to smile until the corners of their mouths get all tangled up on the backs of their necks. Bismarck Tribune. It was at the close of the wedding breakfast One of the guests arose, andT flass in hand, said, "I drink to the ealth of the bridegroom. May he see many days like this." The intention was good, but the bride looked as if something had displeased her. Dan bury News. A rich but ignorant lady, who was rather ambitious in her conversational style, in speaking of a friend, said. "He is a paragram of politeness." "Excuse me, said a wag. sitting next to her, "but do you not mean a parallelogram?" "Of course I do," immediately replied the lady. "How could I have made such a mistike?' N. Y. Independent. "Yes," remarks a traveler, "when a man is in Rome be should "do as Ro mans do. Now, when I am New York, to be in style, I always instruct the bar ber to part my hair fn or near the mid dle; when in Chicago, on one side; in Omaha, under one ear: and on farther West, into the wilds of the Rockies and the Pacific coast. I don't have it parted at all." N. Y. Commercial. "Oh, bother!" exclaimed Banger, "what's the use? The boys are sick of music. Music, music, music; that's all you give them, week in and week out At our meeting to-night why can't we get up something new something, I don't care what so long a3 it isn't music?" "A good idea Banger!" cried Fogg; "a splendid idea. "V e have had a little too much music, as you say, and its time we had something new. Suppose you sing for us, Banger." Boston Transcript. LIqnerice Culture" in California! Among the many industries recently introduced into California the cultiva tion of liquorice promises to be one of considerable importance. Some thirty years ago the cultivation of liquorice was attempted on Long Island, but the climate was too cold and the roots were soon destroyed by freezing. The plant might be raised in any of our Southern States, as well as in California, but for some reason it has been neglected, and, In consequence, we import vast quanti ties of the roots. Liquorice requires a very deep and rather moist soil, because the roots penetrate to a considerable depth and in all directions, and the crop is not gathered until the ground is pret ty well filled with the long rope-like roots, which usually take from three to four years from the time of planting to mature. In gathering the crop the en tire soil to the depth to which the root3 penetrate has to be worked over with forks and spades, or many pieces will be left to grow, agai X. Y. Sun. f Mt:.. ?.. aySs? T?i. . - . - ::---, t. 2