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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1884)
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WEDNESDAY, JAN. 23, 1884.
Xattrci at the Pisteics, CdsnTss, Hih., i: jsmsI-
tjie qirl next door.
O flrl next door, dear girl, next door.
Answer my questions few.
For tho' you care not a snap for us,
We long to know about you.
Are you sweet sixteen, O girl next door?
Are you tender-hearted and true?
Do you ever write poems on love and Eprlngr
Do you wc&r a No. 5 shoe?
Are your tresses golden or black or brown?
Are you sylph or sprite or human?
Do you speak in a 6of t, low. cooing voice?
("An excellent thing in woman.")
Are you strong-minded? and do you hold
"Advanced ideas" and "views"
On flirtation and science? or do you delight
Only in gossip and news?
Are you learned and grave? or silljand gay?
Are your checks of a rose leaf red?
Are you versed in science and classic loro7
In languages living and dead?
Your eyes, are they blue or black or brown?
Do you love the genus homo?
Are you artistic, and can you tell
A painting from a chromo?
And what is your name, O girl next door?
Is it Susan or Kate or Jenny?
Or Mary Ann? and tell me, pray.
Have you suitors few or many?
Are you intellectual, brave and sweet?
Are you afraid of mice?
Do you believe in woman's rights?
Are you very, very nice?
Were you ever in love, O mystic girl,
With a "perfectly lovely" man?
Or do you Just delight to flirt
With any one you can?
Do you like a tall, or a short young man?
Must his eyes be brown or blue?
Do you like to lie out on a rainy day.
With one umbrella for two?
Are you very proper and wise and good?
Do you indulge m slang?
Do you ever whistle or swing your arms?
Or wear your hair in a bang?
O girl next door, I've found out naught,
Tho" long I now have tarried.
But tell me truly, are you engaged?
And when arc you going to be married?
Detroit Free Press.
' CALE CARDOXXE'S COURTSHIP.
TOE LITTLE TELEGRAPH OPERATOR.
Northbrook came under the auction
efer's hammerjby foreclosure of mortgage.
It was a valuaLle country seat and did
not bring half what it was worth.
The purchaser was Cale Cardonne,
an intelligent, wealthy, self-opinionated
man, sometimes called by his friends
"The German Baron;" not because he
was of German descent, but probably
because of his ruddy face, line physique,
and brusque.positive manuers,the latter
verging upon rudeness when his passion
The neighbors speculated consider
ably about his advent at Northbrook,
and prophecies were made which were
not particularly complimentary. He
would Introduce new-fangled notions;
he would engage in foolish experiments;
he would be an easy victim to the fal
lacies of theoretic farming, and the like.
Well, he came and settled among
them, and nothing of the kind occurred.
He left farming operations to an ex
perienced hand, devoted his leisure mo
ments to books, enjoyed the fresh coun
try air, and attended so much to his
own business and not to that of other
people that he was voted too exclusive.
There was a railroad station at
Northbrook, and one day he ran hastily
up the steps of the tower to send a mes
sage by telegraph. He had leaped from
the train without thinking of the valise
which he had placed on the seat beside
him. Its contents were valuable, and
he was anxious to receive it by the re
The operator was a quiet, demure
looking girl, very compact, and plainly
clad; her face creamy white, neither
approaching to pallor nor indicating ill
health. He stated his errand. Could she get
a dispatch to Croyland before the train
"Oh, yes," was the reply. "How
. can you identify the valise?
Her voice sounded as clear as a bell,
and her white shapely hand was toying
with the button of the telegraph instru
ment "My name is on it," he said.
"And your name is?"
She had heard of him, but had never
met him. She surveyed him in a specu
lative way, yet with no suggestion of
boldness. Her eyes were soft gray eyes,
wiih fabulous depths, and just then
tinged with wistful interest.
A few ticking sounds followed, and
then she announced that the message
had been sent and acknowledged. He
flung down a coin in compensation, and
then picked up a book which she evi
dently had been reading.
"'Sartor Itesartus, by Thomas Car
lyle!" he exclaimed, reading the title,
an intonation of surprise in his voice.
"You are axe plodding through this?"
he asked, stammering in his choice of
"Yes," she answered.
"And enjoy it?" was his next ques
tion, a little grimly put
A faint pink flush came into her
"At least I do not consider the read
ing of it an infliction,'''' she rejoined, a
scarcely perceptible smile about her lips.
Her reply pleased him him. He was
standing almost directly over her, for
she was seated. He noticed the finely
oised head, the compact brow, the del
cate ears, the chestnut-colored hair,
with lurking shadows of bronze in it,
and not a strand out of place.
Her figure was lithe and graceful and
her hair modest and self-coniposed. His
proximity did not disturb her: the con
sciousness of his worth did not cause her
to depreciate herself.
She opened a small drawer, threw
into it the coin which he had placed on
the table and handed him the proper
"Keep it," he said, with a toss of his
"I can not," she replied; "I am not
entitled to it."
"I am at liberty to give it to you."
, "But I am not at libert- to receive
it," she answered, "or rather I do not
. He picked up the change with a f rown.
"You know my name, he said; "if I
knew yours we might consider ourselves
"My name is Janet Thome," 6he re
joined, in her quiet way.
He bowed, then descended the wind
"Janet!"" he repeated to himself. "A
staid name, and it suits her. Somehow
I feel strangely interested in the little
The two met frequently after that.
Janet lived in a neat little cottage not
far from the station. Her mother was
dead and she supported an invalid fath
er with her earnings.
" Cale Cardonne visited her at the cot
tage, sent her books and flowers, and
sometimes walked with her in the woods
which stretched between Northbrook
and the cottage.
Having seen so much of the world,
being -rich, handsome and a pleasing
talker, it was no wonder she became
fond of his society. He, in turn, was
very much fascinated by her, and some
times wondered why. He had mingled
a great deal in society and had met with
many beautiful and accomplished ladies,
while she was but a quiet, demure, ordinary-looking
country girl. , However,
he:was not the only man who had tried
to find his way out of such a quandary.
He proposed to her one evening. They
were standing beside the cottage gate.
The stars were shining softly overhead;
fce -young moon wasjust visible strove
h low-lying hill; a suDUe,
odor was wafted from the woods; the
frogs croaked in the meadows; an owl
called to his mate from a perch under
the eaves of the mill.
Why was Janet so long in replying to
Cale Cardonno's passionate appeal? He
saw the color come and go in her face.
He saw her lips tighten.
"I am so sorry !'"she said at last, with
a gasp, her frame trembling.
"Sorry!" repeated he, feeling a little
dazed. "Because J have proposed to
"Because I am constrained to decline
your offer," she said.
It required bravery to speak those
words, dictated by duty, when love and
desire wanted so much to rebel.
"Oh!" ejaculated Cale Cadonne, red
dening and biting his under lip.
His nand was a brawny one, and she
saw how tightly it closed on the upper
rail of the gate.
"If I knew the reason?" he asked.
"You will not insist" she said, ap
pcalingly, catching her breath.
"Evidently it exists in myself," he
"No, Mr. Cardonne."
She spoke with rapidity, and with a
quick fling of her hand.
"Perhaps time, Janet "
"No," she continued. "It will always
He had used the word exist, and she
seemed to think it just the one to serve
"Janet, you are the first woman to
whom I ever proposed," he huskily said.
"That is true, though I have almost
reached middle age."
"I believe you, sir," she answered,
humbly, regretfully. "I appreciate the
honor you have paid me. I am sorry."
He did not want her pity. He felt
like seizing her and flinging her down
the embankment; bpt, by a great effort,
he curbed his temper.
"I am too polite to insist upon know
ingyourreason," he said. "You might
say I have not the right to demand it,
and I don't know but that would be the
truth. I am grievously disappointed,
and it is such a novel, and such a a
wretched experience to me, that I do
not know where to look for redress or
for comfort, rather. You wish me to
understand that a chasm vawns between
"Which can never be bridged," com
pleted she, her tone firm, though she
trembled, as he could see in the star
light He lifted his hand to his cravat, as if
to relieve a choking sensation there.
"I can do nothing but submit," he
slowly, ruefully said.
He strode angrily down the path, but
stopped, turned and called out:
The resigned, pitiful tone made her
heart ache as it had never ached be
fore. Good-night. 1lr. Cardonne," she
flung back, startled at the sound of her
voice, it wasso unlike her own.
She stood alone a few minutes in her
agony, her fingers twisted into a knot,
an ashen pallor in her face,
"YET I LOVE YOU, SIR!"
A week later Janet Thorne met Cale
Cardonne at the gate at Northbrook.
She had stopped to deliver a dispatch.
He took it, but eyed her askance, his
face rigid. He noticed that she looked
worried and that her hand shook.
"Thank you," he crisply said, turning
Her tone was quick, incisive, tinged
He wheeled around. She stood stone
still for a moment, white and speechless.
She was having a fierce fight with her
self. "You dispise me," she said huskily.
"Why, no, child!"
He spoke the epithet in tenderness,
not because she looked so childlike nor
because he was a dozen years her
"I am very miserable over it, but can
not blame you," he said, "unless it may
be because you have no business to be
so charming," and a queer smile came
to his lips.
"There is something I musttellyou,"
she said slowly, looking past him into
vacancy. "In "justice to myself, sir, and
I hope you will not think mo bold, I re
ject you, and yet I love you, sir. How
deeply, God alone knows!"
The sweet gray eyes were looking di
rectly at him then, a warm glow in them.
His heart gave a bound.
"Janet, nave you reconsidered?"
She shook her head.
"Then you have simply increased the
pain the consciousness of the great
boon I have lost Do you delignt in
His tone rose in volume, and a fiery
sparkle came into his handsome black
She recoiled, one hand pressed against
"I wanted you to know, sir, that I.
too, am suffering," she said, in a hushed,
measured tone. "It has given me more
pain to make the confession than it did
you to hear it."
She walked rapidly away, and he
stared after her, slightly stupefied.
"It is her candor that is her peculiar
charm," was his mental comment,
AH OUTBURST Of TEMPER.
Cale Cardonne had but one congenial
friend, a certain Dr. Weatherby, a man
a little crotchety, but a jovial, good
hearted fellow withal, a most excellent
physician, and well read, not only in
the classics, but in the polite literature
of the day. Every idle evening either
found Cale Cardonne in the cozv office
of the doctor or the latter in the library
"Cardonne, you ought to get mar
ried," the doctor said, one evening.
They were seated in the librarj', little
more than the top of the doctor's bald
head visible in the smoke with which he
had enveloped himself.
"Why so. Weatherby?"
They had a familiar way of calling
each other by their last names.
"You might look elsewhere and fare
worse," remarked the doctor.
"You have some one to recommend?"
Cale Cardonne said, interrogatively.
"Aye, 1 have," replied the doctor,
"one who is worthy in every respect of
any honest man's love. I mean Janet
Just .then something happened which
rather disturbed the doctor's compla
cency. A pair of brawny arms seized
him, lifted him from his chair, then re-
laced him in it with considerable vio
ence. The doctor was a small man, hut
tough as a tennis-ball, with very little
temper, or else but a sluggish one. He
shook himself, adjusted his shirt collar,
picked up his p ipe, and recrossed his
"Cardonne, I didn't know that you
indulged in profanity," he said, his
pipe once more in his mouth.
"Did I swear? You are to blame.
You provoked me."
"Oh, I did, eh?" asked the doctor.
"Very innocently so, I assure you. Duel
ing is under ban in this Commonwealth
and generation. Still, I would be ex
cused for asking an explanation of such
a sudden outburst"
"She jilted me," srowled Cale Car
donne, his passion spent.
"Who jilted you?'
"No, she didn't," the doctor said, with
"I tell you she dW," declared the
other, with equal emphasis. Ought not
I to know? I I underwent it! That's
just why I'm so sensitive."
"She did not jilt you," persisted the
Cale Cardonne was on his feet again.
"What do you mean?" he fiercely de
manded. "Oh, yon want me to be
Wall V m.t.A . '
new f uwvVMf
"That's the better word," rejoined tlit
doctor, "It isn't so derogatory. Whal
possible reason could she hare had?"
"You might ask Acr," growled the
owner of Northbrook. "I didn't."
"Perhaps she doesn't love you?"
"That isn't complimentary to me,
Weatherby. She confessed that she did
"Oh!" ejaculated the doctor, lapsing
into silence for a time.
"Cardonne, if she loves you she'll
marry you," he slowly said. , "There's
some mystery about the matter. She is
very frank, and abominates conceal
ments. I have known her from baby
hood, and her mother before her.
The exclamation was sudden and ex
plosive, and his face intensified.
"I think I know," he said, possible
not aware that he was rubbing his
hands. "Cardonne, if you'll apologize
to me for that shaking I'll find you s
"Janet?" asked the "German Baron,"
with an illuminated face. "Do it, and
I'll get on my knees to you. I'll con
sider myself your debtor forever.
"Oh, don't be so profuse," interrupted
the doctor, "but push the tobacco pouci
over this way."
"TOUR If OTHER ISN'T TOUB MOTHER.'
"Janet," Doctor Weatherby said, "it
was shabby in you to refuse Mr. Car
donne." He had stopped in front of the cot
tage, and she was leaning over the wheel
of his gig.
The blood filled her face, then left, it
"Did he tiiink so lightly of it as to
mention it?" she asked, her eyes snap
ping. "Lightly?" cried the Doctor, with a
shrug of his shoulders. "I am glad we
weren't on top of Notre Dame when he
mentioned it! Janet, your mother isn't
It was an astounding announcement,
and made in the abrupt way usual witb
.he Doctor. It was an inconsistent, im-
probable, impossible statement, and yet
Janet understood him. tor a moment
she seemed bereft of speech and motion.
"Dr. Weatherby, is that true?" she
"And father kept it from me."
"There never was any need to tell
"Why is there need now?"
"Answer that, yourself, Janet. That Is
why you rejected Cale Cardonne."
"Yes," gasped Janet. "It would not
have been right You have guessed the
reason as a physician solely, perhaps.
And my mother my real mother, my
true mother was sh'e insane?"
"No, little one."
"Father in Heaven, I thank Thee."
Her hands were clasped, her eyes were
reverently uplifted, her face shining like
the face of a saint. At least the Doctor
"Janet, your happiness lies at your
feet," he significantly said. "You will
be sensible euough to take it up."
Janet stole off into the dim woods to
be alone under the trees and the wonder
ful revelation. Her stepmother, whom
she supposed was her real mother, had
died in the insane asyluni raving mad.
Poor Janet believed that she had in
herited the taint; the dreadful visitation
would come some time; she could not
bring sorrow to the lifo of a husband, or
shame and suffering to her offspring.
THE CHASM BRIDGED.
There was a great crowd at tho
church fair. Cale Cardonne, looking
not unlike a German Baron, passed from
table to table chatting with the ladies
and buying their wares.
Once a pair of soft, sweet gray eyes
met his from amid the festoons of ivy.
Ah, he knew to whom they belonged.
His heart ached for a moment, and the
light went out of his face.
"A letter for Mr. Cardonne!" cried
the postmistress from the little window
of the pretended post-oflice.
He walked thither, paid the postage
and received his letter. It contained
but one line:
"Thccliasm has been bridged!"
A tremulous hand anil no name!
What did it mean? It came to him so
suddenly that he felt that he was trem
bling. The evening wore away; the crowd
dispersed; the ladies covered the tables
for the morrow; the janitor began to
put out the lights.
Cale Cardonne lingered. Janet came
toward the door, drawing ner shawl
closely around her, her face unusually
red, considering it was usually so white.
"Can I see you home, Janet?"
She answered him with a nod and a
The path led from the. church across
the meadows odorous with clover and
flaunting with dandelion blossoms; the
sky" an unbroken expanse of blue stud
ded with softly-twinkling stars.
Janet was clinging to Cale Cardonne 's
"I received vour letter," he said.
"It had but one meaning."
"There was but one intended."
"Oh, Janet! you have made me !n
"She dfd not answer him. There
wasn't any need to. Perhaps she
couldn't answ.er, he had clasped her sc
"How was it bridged?" he inquired.
"You are never to ask," was her flur
ried answer. "Dr. Weatherby knows."
"Oil!" ejaculated Cale, "I recall a
promise he made. It was merely a
foolish fancy, wasn't it?"
"At the time it seemed horribly real,'
Janet replied with a shudder. "Thank
God, it wasn't real!" Evening Call.
An "Artless" Chap.
"They've got au Art Loan up town,
haven't they?" queried a young man
who was waiting for three or four hours
at the Union Railroad Station, the other
'Yes, sir," replied Officer Button.
"How much to go in?'
"Only twenty-five cents."
"Do you draw a prize package, or
anything of the kind?"
"I think not,"
"Don't thev give you a chance in a
"Have they got any live Injuns or can
nibals on exhibition?"
"Not that I know of."
"Anr elephants bigger than Jumbo?"
"I suppose they have some extra fine
target-snooting in there?"
"They have nothing of the sort, sir.
Don't you know what an Art Loan is?"
"Is it fish - swimming around in
tanks?" softly queried the young man
after taking a moment to think.
"No menagerie about -it?"
"It isn't a panorama of the streets in
'Tain't Uncle Tom's Cabin?"
"Well," said the questioner, as he
drew himself up, "you needn't "be so
awful short about it! I wasn't going up
to see it anyhow! If you folks here in
Detroit think you can get up a grab-bag
church oyster festival and call it by
some high-sounding name and rope me
in you have -rot hold of .the wrong med-der-lark!
H'm! Art Loan! Let 'er
Loan!" Detroit Free Press.
We have doubted the story of the
man who tried U steal a red-hot stove;
but since the effort to steal the corpse of
the fat woman tiie city of Chicago may
Bot be considered safe itself. N. Jr.
Loral Warnings Agabut Tenuiees.
I have lately examined with some
care the excellent compilation by Ser
geant Finlcy, of the Signal Service,1
"Characteristics of.Six Hundred Torna
does," with reference to the question of
devising a simple apparatus for saving
human life. Saving property seems to,
be out of tho question, as no structure
can withstand the force of the tornado
wind. Life may be saved by recourse to
underground shelters, cellars, etc., -such
as nave actually oeen duuc in many
places for this end. Two facts may be
quoted from the work named: First
Three hundred and forty-seven out of
three hundred and ninety-three torna
does (that is, eighty per cent-.) origi
nated between the west and the south
southwest points; Second The average
velocity of progression was about one
mile in two minutes. ... If five
minutes' warning could have been given
at any of the late tornadoes, many lives
might have been saved. If each house
hold could be warned by the continuous
ringing of a bell, for example, that a
wind of destructive force (say seventy
miles per hour and upward) was ap
proaching, and that five minutes were
available in which to seek shelter, this
would be well worth doing.
I have found that it is practicable to
erect, at a moderate expense, (less than
$500), an apparatus which would give
from three to five minutes' warning to
all the inhabitants of a small town, by
the firing of a cannon, for instance; and
in addition, and without any increased
expense, this apparatus could ring a bell
in every house. The additional ex
pense to each house would be less than
ten dollars, the cost of maintenance
would be less than one hundred
dollars a year, and the work would be
done by an intelligent person. The
system, for a small town, would be
something like the following: Suppose a
circle described about the town with a
radius of from two to two and one-half
miles. The only serious danger from
tornadoes is to be feared from the part
of this circle between the west point
and the southwest point. Along the
circumference of this circle, between
the south-southwest and west points,
run a line of single telegraph-wire on
twenty posts to the mile, and from the
west point bring the wire into the town,
letting it end at the telegraph office. It
is grounded at each end of the line, mad
at the telegraph office it is connected
with a battery, which sends a constant
current over the line. Within the town,
connection is made in various houses
with magnets. Each magnet holds a
detent which prevents a bell from being
rung by the action of a cheap clock
work governed by a coiled spring. If
the circuit is broken anywhere in the
line, each bell begins to ring, and con
tinues to sound till its spring is run
down; for four or five minutes for ex
ample. A cannon could be fired by a
simple device, which would warn per
sons in the fields, etc., to seek shelter.
In a large town the circuit might end in
one of the engine-houses of the fire de
partment, and ring a bell there. This
would be the signal for the man on
watch to repeat the warning simulta
neously through as many local circuitsjas
It remains to indicate the way in
which the circuit is to be broken by the
wind. The circuit of telegraph poles
from the south-southwest to the west
points would contain about fifty poles.
On every one of these the wire would
run first to an insulator, then to an
iron horizontal axis screwed into the
side of the post On this axis a piece of
board one foot square can revolve freely.
An iron rod projects below this board,
and from the lower end of it a small
wire goes to a pin in the telegraph-pole.
This pin is connected by wire to a second
insulator. From this the line goes to
the next pole, and so on. The circuit
ordinarily passes to the first insulator,
thence to the iron rod, thence down the
iron rod to the thin wire, through the
pin to the second insulator, and so to the
next telegraph-pole. The thin wire is a
necessary part of the circuit. It is so
made that it will break when the pressure
of the wind on the square board is fifty
pounds. The apparatus for each post is
tested practically before it is setup.
This can be done at any time in a simple
manner. Whenever any single one of
these boards is subjected to the pressure
of fifty pounds, its wire will be ruptured,
and the circuit will be broken, thus
sending the necessary warning along
the whole line. I have made one such
indicator, which is connected with a
small bell in this observatory. The
wire is arranged so that it breaks at a
wind-velocity of about ten miles per
hour, and it works in a perfectly suc
cesssul manner. The extension of the
system for the protection of a small town
is a simple matter. For a large city
a more expensive system would
have to be provided, as the wires be
tween poles should be carried under
ground to protect them from the chance
of disturbance. Prof. Holden, in
On the north side of the long stretch
of grounds that belong to the Seamen's
Retreat, at Stapleton. Staten Island, is
a locality known as "Rocky Hollow,"
where there are hundreds of cabins occu
pied by colored people.
In a retired part of Melwen street re
cently a venerable, white-haired colored
man was seated in a camp-stool, while
on one side of him was a kettle hanging
from three upright iron stakes over a
blazing wood fire, and on the other was
a perforated wooden box. The old gen
tleman was humming a plantation tune,
and his flat nose, thick lips and ebony
skin showed him to be a full-blooded
African. He was skinning what at first
sight seemed to be eels, but a close look
showed that their skins were light, with
stripes, or else black and differently
colored, Some had cross stripes, some
had none. They were all alive and
wriggling as they were deftly caught in
the left hand, their head went back, the
throat exposed, a knife slipped across
the neck below the head, and the skin
peeled off in the same manner that an
eel is skinned. They were snakes.
Every time his hand came from the
box the fingers held a snake. The old
man chuckled as if he undoubtedly en
joyed his work. As soon as he had
skinned the snakes they were -dropped
Into a large iron pot, where they would
iquirm for some moments and gradually
knot themselves up until motion
The reoorter steDned closer. There
were probably forty snakes.in the box.
The mass was all netted and twisted to-
S ether, crawling over one another and
arting their tongues out savagely.
"What will you do with them?" was
asked, after all had been skinned and
the skins carefully laid out across a fence
"Slake skimeree,' said the old gen
tleman, who was cutting the carcasses
into pieces about two lashes long.
"Skimeree coup stew," replied the
aged Ethiope, as he removed the steam
ing kettle from over the fire and
dumped some potatoes, cut tomatoes,
onions, celery, small pieces of bacoa
and fat pork, turnips and other vegeta
bles into the pot where the minced rep
tiles were, and then stirred the whole
up together with his knife and poured
in boning water. Then he placed fresh
wood on the fire, and the mass was soon
"Now, den, we will add some dump
links to dem, an' de dish am com
pleted,' he said. It is a lobely dish, if
Jrer only knowed how to make it I
earned to eat dat disk down ia St..
James Parish, in Louisiana, om Muter
JtockwelTs place, thirty years ago.
Down there, though, we got somiffcv I
worth cookln' not dee little things.
Down dere de snakes grows bigger
thick cs yer arm.
"De skins," ho continued, "wo sells
to Voudoo women in Sullivan and
Thompson streets, or aroun' here. Dey
give us twenty-two cents apiece for 'cm,
an' sell 'em again fur charms. Dc col
ored people wear dem aroun' de arm or
ankle. I know an awful pretty yeller
gal who had a splendid place on Fifth
avenue, and her mistress had kep her
ever since she was a little girl. One
day sho see the girl's arm, an' there,
near the vaccination mark, was the skin
of a little snake."
He bared his own arm, around which
was the skin of a beautifullv-colored
snake, the bright hues of which had
been brought out by oiling and curing.
" 'Taint everybody dat knows how to
euro dem right, but I do. Well, dat
gal got packed ter onst It nearly gave
er mistress a fit. Some skins is wuth
twcnty'dollars an' more if it is a large
snake. Dey comes from Virginny, Ken
tuck and Louisiana. De head mus allers
be kep' with the skin. Some high
toned coons who is in favor in the
big faro-banks have' lubly skins about
"What does skimeree' taste like?"
"O, nice. It has a gamy flavor, like
coon. Dis'll soon be dun taste it yer
sel'. It's nice, I tell yer, bossce," and
the old man seemed a trifle indignant as
the reporter departed. N. Y. World.
Jadge Black's First ABpelatmeat.
Hon, Alexander Thompson presided
as Judge of the Sixteenth Judicial Dis
trict of 'Pennsylvania (composed of the
counties of Franklin, Bedford and Som
erset) from the 25th of June.1827, to
March, 1842. He was a just man and
a good Judge, but toward the close of
hu public life he encountered some op-
gosition. A prominent lawyer of
hambersburg was named as an oppos
ing candidate for the office, and soon
a warm contest arosein which the lead
ing lawyers and citizens in the- district
took part. David R. Porter was then in
the Executive chair. There was scarcely
a lawyer in the district who did not
visit the Governor to discuss the merits
of the candidates. Early in the year
1842 a gentleman from Somerset called
to oppose or. to support one of the candi
dates I cannot remember whom and
in bis conversation, produced a letter
and read from it a paragraph. The
Governor asked to have the whole letter
read, which was done. It discussed
the points of difference between the two
candidates. The Governor asked to be
allowed to read the letter for himself,
which was done.
"Black," he said; "J. S. Black?
Whose son is he?'-'
The visitor here mentioned the name
of Mr. Black's father.
Governor I remember him. I sat
with him in the Internal Improvement
Convention of 1825, and he certainly
was a most intelligent gentleman. But
what can you tell me about the son?
Visitor Well, he is a young lawyer
with some practice. He sits in his
office, walks -up and down town, sits on
the dry-goods boxes on the corner,
makes some political speeches, and
Governor Shakespeare! Shakespeare
on the top of the Alleghany Mountains.
What can he know about Shakespeare?
Visitor- Well, I believe he can repeat
any play Shakespeare ever wrote.
Governor What else does he do?
Visitor He preaches.
Governor Preaches! What does, he
Visitor He preaches as all the rest
of the preachers do, and I can tell you
he can get up in the Court House on
Sunday morning and preach and pray
about as well as any of them.
Governor Well, so much for tho
Gospel what about the law? Does ho
do much in that way?
Visitor Yes; and there are somepeo-
fle who think he is a very good young
Governor How does he figure in
Visitor He is "rather awkward and
hesitates some. He often amuses ua
very much, but I don't think he will
ever make much of a speaker.
The visitor left, and the Governor,
after a long pause, said to his amanuen
sis: "I did not believe there was a man
in Somerset County who could write
such a letter as that Here is a man
who has read Shakespeare and, v no
doubt, the Bible, or he could not preach
much, and he pours out his thoughts in
such English as amazes me. He evi
dently knows what a Judge ought to be.
I must inquire further about that young
man." As visitors called, inquiries
were occasionally made about Mr.
Black, and the answers were all satis
factory as to his character, moral and
Erofessional. Of course, advocates of
is appointment soon sprang up. On
the 30th of March, 1842, to the astonish
ment of many of the friends of the
other candidates, a commission as Presi
dent Judge was issued to Mr. Black.
It is said that Judge Black was as
tounded when he saw it, asked whether
the Governor had taken leave of his
senses, protested his unwillingness to
accept the office, and generally helped
to set the town of Somerset in an up
roar. He did accept the office, how
ever, and in a few months established
his entire competency to perform his
duties, and rose high in the estimation
of men of all parties. Judge Porter, in
Married for Keeps.
The skipper of a coal boat on the Bal
timore & Ohio Canal recently decided,
after mature deliberation and careful
consideration, to marry his cook, who
had been a tried and faithful servant tc
him for quite a number of his perilouj
trips on the storm-lashed canal. So h
spoke to her about the matter one day,
and after securing her coy consent, h
ordered the boat tied up at a small
town, and being a practical skipper,
skipped up street after a parson. The
nuptial knot was soon tied, the parson
beaten down to a dollar and a half fot
his fee, and then the canal boatman
"Well Melindy, we are married fui
keeps, now. We are hitched fur life,
and must pull together. I'm a little
short-handed to-day, and as that leae1
mule has got saddle galls on his back,
you jist take the tow path, and lead bin:
down to Harper's Ferry, an' I'll steer,
an' kinder ruminate on some plan tc
give you work on the boat without go
ing ashore in the mud. I've got a pow
erful sight more respect for you now.
that you're my wife." Texas Siftingt.
Mr. Madera, a middle-aged bach
elor, of Reading, Pa., was a sensitive
plant, and ill-adapted to withstand the
chilling blasts of this world. Mr. Mad
ern was pious, and out of his twenty
five thousand dollars had given two
thousand dollars toward the erection ol
a chapel. He also labored with his handi
until the skin was worn off them by
carrying brick to the masons. The
money contributed was not enough to
complete the building, and the othet
night Mr. Madern, grown disheartened,
went out to his barn and hanged him
self. He left a note giving five hundred
dollars more to the chapel and saving:
"I will enter a better world than this.'
I have .much, trouble here." Indianap
During the war of 1812 two kege el
Cld coin were seat from Prescot U
ensington, Ont, by stage. The stag!
coke down and die gold was aecretei
eearewhere near Ho; Back HilL SesM
people fthlnk the coin may be foaael
there idll.aad.maay holes have eeei
PERSONAL Ami IMPERSONAL.
Mr. Chamberlain, the father of the
American ladv famous in Eurone'for
her beauty, will not permit photograph
er? svu ii in uaugiuur s picture.
Mrs Elizabeth J. Crook has beea
reappointed Io-.tmter at Arkadelphia,
Ark. Notwithstanding her nanio, her
accounts are as straight as a foot
measure. Chicago Journal.
Ex-Governor Leland Stanford, of
California, does not look like a man
who enjoys his millions. He has a
strong, stern face of gloomy cast, and
never smiles or shows interest
- Isaac Hills, a Meriden (Conn.)
teamster with four children, has been
notified that his great uncle in Canada
has died, leaving 9650,000, of which he
will get $150,000. Boston Transcript.
Queen Mary, the Chief of the Gyp-,
sies, now 76 vears old, has come over,
from England, and is ruling .over her
subjects, who have gathered in Penn
sylvania. Mary is said to be the Queen
of all the Gypsies in the world. Phila
Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett
must be credited with saying at least
one good thin" outside of her books.
On being asked how to write a novel
she replied: "You must have pen, ink
and paper. Use the lirt with brains,
the second with imagination, and the
third with generosity." Chicago Herald.
" Lotta," says James H. Heverin,
" is the wealthiest actress in tho world.
t She can make more monev with her
feet than the brainiest man'livinr.oanc
with his head. She made $125,000 last
season, and she is worth altogether, to
i my knowledge, fully $1,000,000, not-
, withstanding the fact that she has lost
$300,000 by bad speculations.". Y.
I A gossipy writer in the Troy. (N. T.)
. Press says of Bret Harte's father, whom
I he met 5'ears ago when he was private
tutor of two of his playmates: "I remem
! ber him .well, a very pleasant gentleman.
;' He married a girl out of the mill. She
was one of the most beautiful girls I ever
saw. as handsome as a doll, but had no
edncatiou. Her'husband educated her,
and she became one of the finest ladies
The Marquis of Lansdowne, the
new. Governor-General of Canada., is
articularly distasteful to the Irish. He
as an estate in Ireland of over 120,000
acres, and an annual rental of $178,000,
but is noted for his stinginess, and par
ticularly distinguished himself two,
.years ago by sending a shipload of seed
potatoes to his starving tenants and
charging them market rates for them.
The descendants of the first of our
Presidents are not numerous now. In
Virginia are a few of the Washington
family of the Lawrence Washington
branch, and of the Madison there are
none. Monroe has one or two nieces
and a nephew living, and Jackson has
not a living descendant. The Adams
familv is the beat represented of the six.
Jefferson h&a a number of descendants,
and Mrs. Meikleham is the nearest
living relation. She is the youngest
daughter of his eldest daughter, Martha,
who married a Randolph, and is the
lait of her seven daughters. H. Y.
A long tramp : Tho one who stands
six feet in his stockings.
The last sad writes : A man's will.
A splendid water-meter: Meeting her
on the beach by moonlight.
A Pittsburgh lady, whose first born,
is six feet in his stockings and only half
through his teens, thinks she will start
a tea store. She has such a young high
" Hush ! Beware of the torpedo I V
said a young lady to an ineligible ad
mirer who was becoming too attentive.
On his asking for an explanation she
answered: "Oh, it's only our new
name for mamma, because she blows us
up so! " Chicago Tribune.
As the happy couple were leaving
tho church the husband said to the
partner of his wedded life : "Marriage
must seem a dreadful thing to you.
Why, you were all of a tremble, and
one could hardly hear you say I
will!'" "I shall have more courage,
and say it louder next time," "returned
the blushing bride.
A sporting paper says that a certain
base-ball player was "fined twenty-five
dollars for missing a fly." Persons who
have watched the antics of a bald
headed man as he strikes aimlessly at a
fly will wonder how long the richest
bald-headed man's purse would hold
out if he were obliged to pav twentv-
4ive dollars for a miss. N. Y. Journal.
"What did you see at the meeting.
Harry?" said the president of an agri
cultural club to his son. All the mem
bers of the club, who were dining with
the boy's father, looked at the lad as he
replied: "I heard Mr. Jones there
make a few feeble remarks." "Why,
Harry ! " exclaimed his father, in. dis
tress. "Yes, sir, it's so; for didn't he
say, when he got up to speak, 'I'll
venture a few feeble- remarks P'"
A man of dull wits, who took things
literally, had often heard that "Truth
is a jewel lying at the bottom of a
well;" so he decided one day to go
aown toe well tor tee purpose of taking
possession of the jewel. He hurt his
knees and elbows, bumped his head,
ran an old fork into his foot, and shiv
ered around for six long hours before
his wife drew him up. "What in the
world were yon doing down there?"
asked the Wife. "I was looking for
Truth, but I guess this ain't Truth's
An old Scotch storv is good enough
to bo lately revived in the Scotch papers:;
One night Sandy told her that he "lUcst1'
her "awfu'-wee." She simply. respoadtd.
"ditto." Sandy was .not very sure
what that meant; so the next day while at
work, he said, "Father can you tell me
what tfitto' is?" "Ou. ay, Sandy!"
replied his father. "Dae ye see that
cabbage?" "Yes." "And dae ye see
that ither ane, that Is jist the same?"
"Yes." "Weel. that's ditto." "Gra
cious goodness!" exclaimed Sand v.
"Did she ca' me a cabbage-head? lfll
na' wed her." H. Y. Post.
"Old woman," said a Fifth avenne
man last night, at twelve o'clock, when
he came home with about fourteen
drinks in him, and found his wife in her
night-gown, "let's play the 'Siege of
Lucknow,' " and he grabbed the broom
and rasped all the tinware off the wall.
"What do I play?" said she. "You
play Jesse," said he. "All right."
am ihe, and she grabbed him by the
hair, wiped up the floor with him,
baaged his legs against the steve, hit
nin on me neaa wiin a upper, aaa
funghimoutof the backdoor. Whea
he awakened this morning, under the
back-oven, he said: "The old woman
played her part well." .V Y. QraphU.
Maud, the little sixteen-tnonths-old
daughter of Mr. John Lennon, of this
city, fell upon the floor and stuck the
point of a tack into her forehead. The,
matter caused no uneasiness at the
time, but the child has continued to get
worse each day since, and finally the
wound developed symptoms of blood
poisoning which grew more dangerous
ta character unmake expired la convul
sions. The severe and sad results from,,
each a trifling wound is something very,
unusual In the experience of physicians
in this locality. Lockp (N. Y.)
Thece Js-a. aatural bridge ia
Arkoae, which, it is said, far orpaejee
ia eise the weU-kaewa aataral bridge ia
- - - -
1 1 -j
DUr Exprecs Tnuua ftr Ocmlm, Out
Mfo. Kan Clljr, St Luu aud aU points
Swt. Through con vitt PtsirJa to InIIa:i
wlU. Rlegont FtUlniau i'alscr (Vr act!
Dy ccchea ca ell throurrh tda3. ccd
iNnta? ar out of Missouri R.vcr.
i loron::li Tickets rt tha i c?- i.atc3
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Will !i c hos-tfully t miiah.-d y;ou ait:iciti(u to hcj ugent, c r to
T. S. IZVSms, C.vtiural Ticket Agent. Omaha. Xub.
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