THE JOURNAL.
ISSUED KVEBV WEDNKbDAY,
M. Iv. TURNER & CO.,
Proprietor! and Publishers.
KATES OF ADTEHTMinC
. 4
EJTBusiness and professional cards
of five lines or less, per annum, fivo
dollars.
T33 For time advertisements, apply
at this office.
' jSTLegal advertisements at statute
rates
XSTFor transient advertising;, see
rates on third page.
JSTAll advertisements payable
monthly.
Oultimbus
'OFFICE, Eleventh St., up stairs
in Journal Building.
terms:
Peryear 2 mm
Six months &m
Three months z
Single copies
VOL. XIV.-NO. 39:
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 23. 1884.
WHOLE NO. 715.
limit
w
f
A
h
BTJSIffESS CABDS.
pHAS. SI.OA3JE, ( YebILek)
CHINESE LA UNDRY.
rtTUnder "Star Clothing Store," Xe
braika Avenue, Columbus. ---Q
DENTAL PABLOB.
On Corner of Twelfth and North Streets,
over'Ernsfs hardware store.
tarOffice hours, 8 to 12 a. m.; 1 to ." p. m.
Oi-LA ASHBAUCU, Dentist.
A TTORNE YS-A T-LA W,
Ui.tsir in (Muck Building, 11th street,
Above the New bank.
it j. ni;io:,
NOTARY PUBLIC.
IStk Street.? doors wett of IUmond Hobw,
Columbus. Neb. 491-7
riilUKMTOX Ac POWERS,
SURGEON DENTISTS,
CT Office in Mitchell Block", Colum
bus, Nebraska. ""-'
J . REEUEK,
. A TTORNE Y A T LA W,
Office on Olive St.. Columbus, Nebraska.
2-tf
p G. A. liCLLHOKST, A. 31., M. D.,
HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN,
(SBTTwn Blocks south of Court House.
Telephone communication. -!
V. A. MACKEN,
DKALKK IK
Wines, Liquors, Cigars, Porters, Ales,
e'r., elc.
Olive Street, next to First National Bank.
UV
Tkf-cAI.I.ITER BROS.,
A TTORNE YS A T LA W,
Office un-sUir in McAllister's build
iug. 11th St. V. A. McAllister, Notary
Public.
J. M. MACKAKLANI, U. K. COWDKltV,
Atoms; wi Ssiur KtV e. C slUaw.
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE
OK
M ACFARXjAND & COWDBR7,
Columbw, : - - Nebraska.
p TEO. ft. VEKKY,
PAINTER.
"Carriage, house and -ijrn painting,
Blazing, paper hanging, kalsomining, etc.
done to order. Shop on 13th St., opposite
Engine Ilouse, Columbus, Neb. 10-y
TJ U. RINCHK,
llth St., opposite Lindell Hotel.
Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets. Curry Combs, Brushes, truuks,
valises, buggv'top, cushions, carriage
trimmings, v.e.. at the lowest possible
prices. Repaint pn mptly attended to.
JS. MUKDOCK & SON,
Carpenters and Contractors.
Havenad an extended experience, and
will guarautee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitytoestimatcforyou. jSTShop on
Kith St., one door west of Friedhof &
Co's. store, Columbus. Xebr. 483-v
O. C. SHANNON",
MANUFACTURER of
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, Eoofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
tSTShop on Eleventh Street, opposite
Heintz's Urut: More.
40-y
G
W. CIAMK,
LAND AND INSURANCE AGENT,
HUMPHREY, NEBR.
His land comprise some fine tracts
In the Shell Creek Valley, and the north
ern portion ol Plrtte county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. Satisfaction
guaranteed. 20 y
piOLlLUBUS PACKING CO.,
COL UMB US, - NEB.,
Packers and Dealers in all kinds of Hog
product, cash paid for Live or Dead llogs
or grease.
Directors. R. H Ilenry, Prest.; John
Wlggiui, Sec. and Treas.; L. Gerrard, S.
Cory.
-VTOTICE XO TEACHERS.
J. B. If oncrief, Co. Snpt.,
Will be in his office atbe Court Ilouse
on the third Saturday of each
month for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, aud
for the transactton of any other business
pertaining to schools. WT-y
TAMER SAI-TJI,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
frame or brick buildings. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, npar
St. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Xe
braska. 32 6mo.
J. WAGKNER,
Livery and Feed Stable.
It prepared to furnish the public w.'th
good teams, buggies and carriages for all
occasions, especially for funerals. Also
conducts a safe stable. 44
D. T. Mabtyx, 31. D. F. Schug, SI. D.,
(Deutscher Artz.)
Dri. UaBTTX 8CHTJG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons,
Local Surgeons. Union Pacific and
O., X. A B. H. R. B's.
COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA.
32-vol-xIil-y
166 i
week at home". 15.00 outfit'
free. Pay abiolutely sure. Xo
risk. Capital -not required-:
Reader, if you want business
at wklek-petsems r. either sex, young or:
olaVeaa Bake great pay all the time they,
wore, with absolute certainty, write for
particulars to B. IIallst A Co., Port
land, Maine.
COLUMBUS
STATE BANK!
3;::j::o::t3 3srrri 1 3ui itl Tinir 4 Eslit.
COLUMBUS, NEB.
CASH CAPITAL, - $50,009
DIRECTORS:
!.i:andei: Gekkakd, Pres'l.
Geo. W. IIui.st, Vice Pre 1.
Julius A. Uekd.
Edwaud A. Geriuui).'
.1. E. Taskeii, Cashier.
Ilassk of liolt, IMmcoiieii
iitul ExIianse
oIIecllosiM Promptly Made on
sill PoIbih.
Pay laterext Time Itepo-
ItM.
T.A
DREBERT & BRIG6LE,
BANKERS!
HUMPHREY, NEBRASKA.
JSTPrompt attention given to Col
lections. BSTInsurance, Real Estate, Loan,
etc. "
GOLD
for the working c'nss
Send 10 cents for po-tage,
aid we will mail you free
i i-nval. valll:iblc box Ol
sample good-, that will put you in the way
or making mo:e money in a few days than
you ever thought possible at any bui
nes. Capital not required. "We will
start vou. You can work all the time or
in spare time onlv. The work is univer
sally adapted to both ,exs young and
old." You can easily earn from 50 cents. ti
$j everv fenini:. That all who want
work nfav test the bu-ines, we make
this unparalleled oiler; to all who are not
well satisfied we will send .$1 to pay lor
the trouble of writing u-. Full particu
lars, direction:., etc., M'ht free. Foituno
will be made by those who give their
whole time to tile work. Creat wee.
absolutely sure. Don't delay, fetarl now.
Address tixsoN & Co., Portland, Maine.
GO TO
A. & M. TOMER'S
BOOK AND
MUSIC STORE
FOIl THE
BEST I GOODS
AT
The Lowest Prices!
CONSULT THE FOLLOWINU ALPHA
BETICAL LIST.
AI'RUJIM, Arithmetic. Arnold'". Ink
fgentiine). Algebras Autograph Al
bums, Alphabet 1. oeks.Author's Card,
Ark. Accordeons, Alstract Legal Cap.
BRUSHES, lJa'.kets.Uaby Toys,ltooks.
Kiblcs. Hells for 5 oys, Itlank Books.
Hirthday Card, itaskct lluggies. boy's
Tool-chets, Balls, Banker's Cases,
boy's "Wagons, Sleds and Wheelbar
rows, Butcher Books, Brss-edged Ru
lers, Bill -books, Book Straps, Base
Balls and Hats.
CAXIMEM, Cards, Calling Cards, Card
Cases Combs. Comb Case. Cigar Ca
ses, Checker Boards, Children's Chairs,
Cups and Saucers (fancy) Circulating
Librarv, Collar and Cuff Boxes Copy
Books, Christmas Cards, Chinese Toys,
Crayons, Checkers. Chess-men, Croquet
sets.
IMM1ESTIC Sewing Machines, Draw
ing Paper, Dressing Cases, Drums,
Diaries, Drafts in books, Dolls, Dressed
Dolls, Dominoes, Drawing books.
ENVELOPES, Elementary school
books, Erasers (blackboard), Erasers
(rubber).
FICTION Books, Floral .Minims, Fur
niture polish.
ttKAJfftlAKS, Geographies, Gcome
tries.Glove boxes, toy Guns,Gyrocopes
(to illustrate the laws of motion).
HARPER'S Reader, handsome Holi
day gifts. Hand-glasses, Hobby-horses,
Hand-satchels, Histories.
INKS (all good kinds aud colors). Ink
stands (common and fancy).
JEWEL Cases, .Tetvs harps.
KEGS of Ink, Kitchen-sets.
LEDGERS Ledger paper, Legal cap,
Lunch baskets, Lookingglasses.
91 ASOX & namlin Organs, Magnets,
3Iusic boxes, Magazines, Mustache
cups. Mouth organs, Memorandums,
Music books. Music holders, Machine
oil, Mats, Moderator's records, Muci
lage, Microscopes.
IVEEUL.ES for sewing machiucs, Xote
paper.
ORGANS, Oil for sewing m.tchines,
Organ stools, Organ seats.
PERIODICALS. Pictures, Puzzle
blocks. Presents, Picture books, Pianos,
Pens, Papetries, Pencils, Purses, Pol
ish for furniture. Pamphlet cases, Paper
cutters. Paper fasteners. Picture puz
zles, Pjcture frames. Pocket books,
Perturoery and Perfumery cases, Paper
racks, Pencil holders.
REWARD cards. Rubber balls, Rub
ber dolls.
SCHOOL books, Sewing stands, School
Satchels. Slates, Stereoscopes and pic
tures,, Scrap books. Scrap 'pictures,
Sewing.maihinejieedles.-Scholar's com
panions, Specie purses, Singing toy
canaries, Sleds for boys, Shawl straps,
Shell goods.
TELESCOPES. Toys of all kinds,
children's Trunks, Thermometers,
Tooth brushes (folding), Tea sets for
girls, Tool chests for boys, Ten-pin ets
for boys, Tooth picks, Tin toys.
YIO.LL3S and strings, Vases.
WOOD BRIDGE Organs, Work bas
ket. Waste baskets. WhiDS fwith
, caae), Webster's dictionaries, Weather
. glasses, woric uoxes. wmps. ior ooya,
Wagons for boys, What-nots, Wooden
toothpicks- . .
M Dow M i "Bttk Em"
FIRST
National Bank!
COXiTTBCBITB, KEB.
Authorized Capital,
Cash Capital,
- - $250,000
50,000
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
A. AXDERSOX, Pres't.
SAM'L C. SMI HI. Vice Pres't.
O.T. ROEX, Cashier.
J. W. EARLY.
ROBERT UHLIG,
HERMAN OEHLRICH.
W. A. MCALLISTER.
G. AXDERSOX,
P. AXDERSOX.
Foreign and Inland Exchange, Passage
Tickets, Real Estate, Loan auu Insurance.
29-vol-13-ly
COAL 4? LIME!
J. E. NORTH & CO.,
-DEALERS IX-
Coal,
Lime,
Hair,
Cement.
I5ork Spring Coal,
Carbon (Wyoming) foal.
Eldon (Iowa) Coal
....$7.00 per Ion
.... COO "
.... 1.i0 "
o-
Blacksmith Coal of best quality al
ways on hand at low
est prices.
North Side Eleventh St.,
COLUMBUS. NEB.
14-3in
UNION PACIFIC
LAND OFFICE.
Improved and Unimproved Farms,
Hay and Grazing Lands and City
Property for Sale Cheap
AT THE
Union Pacific Land Office,
On Long Time and low rule
' of Interest.
ESTFinal proof made on Timber Claims,
Hnmcstcadt and Pre-emptions.
J3TA11 wishing to bnv l.inds of any de
scription will please call and examine
my list of lands hefore looking else where
JSTAll having lands to sell will plei-e
call and give fne a description, t-rm ,
prices, etc.
I3TI a so am prepared to insure prop
erty, as I have the agency of several
lirs't-class Fire insurance companies.
F. W. OTT, Solicitor, speaka German.
SA.111IEL C. SMITH,
80-tf Columbus, Xebraska.
BECKER & WELCH,
aROPRIETORS OF
SHELL CREEK MILLS.
MAXUFACTURERS AXD WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IX
FLOUR AND MEAL.
O FFICE. COL UMB US. NEB.
SPE1CE & NORTH,
General Agents for the Sale of
REAL ESTATE.
Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific
R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to $10.00
per acre for cash, or on five or ten years
time, in annual payments to suit pur
chasers. Wc have also a large and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, Tor sale at low price and
on reasonable terms. Also business and
residence lots in the city. We keep a
complete abstractor title'to all real es
tate in Platte County.
G21
COLUMBUS. NEB.
LOUIS SCHREIBER,
All kinds of Repairing done oi
Short Notice. Biggies, Wag
ons, etc., made to order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-iuawi Walter A.
Wood Mowers, Beepers, Conbin-
ed Xacihines, Harvesters,
and Self-binders the
best made.
"Shop opposite the " Tattersall," on
Olive SL, COLUMBUS. 2-hi
111 ifl Wan MM
Strange Adventures of a Shipwrecked
Crew.
The London bark Silurian was instru
mental on her recent passage to Valpa
raiso in rescuing nineteen of the erew
af the American ship Oracle, which
foundered at sea. The story of the
wreck and the subsequent adventures
af the crew as related by the command
:r (Captain H. Morrison), is of the most
interesting kind. "From Captain Morri
son's statement it seems that the Oracle,
a ship of some 1,500 tons, left San
Francisco with a cargo of grain forXew
Tork in the early part of the present
year. On the Cth of March heavy
weather was encountered, and the tre
mendous seas which came over the
vessel filled the decks, and portions of
the bulwarks had to be cut awav. One
wave demolished the wheel-house,
whilst another smashed the cabin sky
light, simultaneously flooding the cabin.
The crew had to cling to the rigging to
save their lives. One poor fellow named
Hicham Mason, who was unable to re
tain his hold, was washed overboard.
A life-buoy was cast adrift, but nothing
further could be done for the man, who
perished before the eyes of his
helpless comrades. The vessel
herself was at this time in a
most critical condition. Land was
sighted on the following day, but no
soundings could be taken, and the ves
sel subsequently got into the breakers
and went ashore, although all that was
possible was done to avert it. The
crew then launched their four boats,
and aftr provisioning them pulled for
the shore. The provisions were lauded,
and the men were preparing lo board
the vessel to get a further supply, when
she disappeared. By taking observa
tions the Captain found that lie and his
men were on Herschel Island. The is
land, which is about five miles long by
one mile broad, was perfectly desolate
and uninhabited. The men made
tents of some sails they had, which was
the only shelter available. The provi
sions were stored, and each man was
allowed two biscuits and a little meat
er diem. It was known that sealing
chooners visited the island, and each
la' a good lookout was kept for these
essels, but none were found. There
.Tere eight islands in the vicinity, and
ach day one was visited, with the hope
jf finding some friendly vessel. At last
ne of the islands, known as the Wol
aston, was visited bj' the Captain,
aate and five of the crew, when
hey found two native families
jpparently living in a wretched
ondition. They were in a
lerfect state of barbarism, but never
heless treated the shipwrecked people
rith the utmost kindness, giving them
hat food they could. This consisted
f mussels, fish and berries. The only
article of covering possessed by the
atives was the skin of a seal. This was
novable, and was placed by the natives
o cover that part of their bodies most
s.xposed to the weather. The weather
.vas very cold, a keen wind blowing
across the island, accompanied by sleet
ind snow. The only weapon of defense or
aggression possessed by the natives was
i sling. Some spare clothing was dis
tributed amongst the islanders princi
pally old trousers, which were donned
indiscriminately by men and women.
The backs were generally placed in
front, to the amusement of the sailors.
To test the accuracy of the aim with
the sling, an exhibition was asked by
the mate, who erected a target. The
first shot failed, when the native, in a
fit of rage and disappointment, almost
tore off his civilized garments, after
wards taking aim when accoutred sim
ply in his sealskin. On each attempt
the mark was struck. The seven
men again put off in their own
boat, and for two days and two
nights suffered terribly. On the third
day a vessel was sighted, and after sev
eral hours of desperate pulling the ex
hausted men came up with the German
bark Bessel. At first the Captain of the
vessel thought tho shipwrecked men
were pirates, and for some little time
persisted in his refusal to allow them
to go on board. However, they were
finally taken on the bark, but on no ac
count could the German Captain be in
duced to go to Herschel Island for the
remaining seventeen of the crew, and,
with a favorable wind, he proceeded on
his voyage to Valparaiso. After being
twenty-eight days on board the Bessel
the seven men were landed at Valpa
raiso. Captain Morrison was just on
the point of going before the authori
ties at the latter place to ask for an ex
pedition to be sent out in search of his
crew when he saw several of the very
men in Valparaiso. It appeared that
the English vessel Silurian had gone by
the island and rescued the seventeen
hands, bringing them on to Valparaiso,
where they nail been landed a couple
of days before their comrades. The men
seemed none the worse for their ad
venture, with the exception of tiie sec
ond officer, who was left behind in the
hospital.
The Ingenious Boj.
In a certain part of these United
States, away out West, (the exact lo
cality I do not care to indicate, as I do
not wish to give the ingenious boy
awav, as the slang phrase is), there
lived in a small farm-house a widow
woman and her bo The woman was
aged fort-five "come next March," and
the boy was agfd ten last April. The
husband of the woman and father of
the boy had died about a j ear before,
leaving his wife a very small farm, two
horses, three cows, one pig, ten chick
ens and the boy to support her.
With a little help from the neighbors,
and now and then a hired man, she
managed to scrub along, being helped
a good deal bj" the boj, who hired him
self out, with the two horses, to haul
timber and other things for the sur
rounding farmers.
The house which they occupied was
situated in a rather lonely spot some
distance from the main road, and was
reached by a narrow lane or farm road.
Down this lane it was the boy's custom
to drive the cows, aud sometimes the
horses, even morning to pasture, and
then drive them home aain at nijrht
Xow, through this part of the coun
try there often used to travel many
tramps and other bad characters, wiib
had a habit of stealing and driving off
any stray horses or cattle they could
lay their felonious hands on. The wid
ow, however, escaped any depredations
for some time; but one morning, when
the v got up, they found their red cow
and their bay horse were gone. This
was a sad loss to these poor people, and
the widow sat down on a chair and
wept, while the boy stood by a chair
and blubbered. He" was a fine, bright
nosed, freckel-faced, tousel-haired boy,
with a good head, and eyes that shone
with intelligence. Presently, when he
had boo-hooed himself out, with a sniff
and a snort which sounded like the last
gulp and gurgle of water running out
i a sink, lie said to his mother:
"Mother, guessthem fellers won't
take no more of our stock guess I kin
fix 'em."
"Oh, Joe, I'm afeerd you can't, for
they seem to rob pretty much wherever
they've a mind to the big as well as
the little; but whar them as has got a
plenty don't miss a hoss or a cow here
and there, it'll just bo the ruination of
wc-uns."
"Guess I kinffixem," was Joe's
only rejoinder as he walked out of the
room.
That evening, as the widow was
standing at the door of her cottage,
waiting for the return of her son, with
a nice not supper of biscuits and fried
bacon on the stove, she was a good deal
astonished to see walking toward her,
all in a row, one after the other, the
familiar forms of Sallv, her horse, and
the two cows, walking slowly and
clumsily up tho lane, each with a
human male boot on each of their four
feet, while Joe trudged altmg behind.
"For pity's sakes alive, Joe," cried
the mother, "what is the meanin' of
all this?"
Then Joe straightened himself up
like a rooster about to crow, and spoke:
" See here, mother, I have thuuk this
hull thing out, and I've cum to this con
clusion. These here tramps when they
cum along the road they look out for
the tracks. If they see the footprints
of cattle and bosses, they foller them
and find out where they "rest at night,
and then at night they gobble 'em. If
they sees the footprints of a good many
men a-goin' to a place, theydarsen't go
to that place, but give it a wide berth.
Now I got a hull lot of old boots of
father's, that I know'd was in the gar
ret, and rigged 'era onter the critters'
feet, so's where they walk they each
make the footprints like two men, so
wiien a tramp comes along by the end
of our lane and looks in the mud, ho
sees a hull mess of men's footmarks.
'Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve,
fourteen,' counts he; several men gone
up that, lane," says he; 'guess I'll not
go up thar,' sayshe, and he don't."
" You are an ingenious by," exclaimed
the mother in rapture, " but I'm feared
the scheme won't work."
But it did work, and work admirably,
for from that day to this they have
never lost a single thing from their farm,
and they have four cows and a calf now,
beside.? a colt belonging to Sally.
So you see the advantage of being an
ingenious boy, when ingenuity is well
directed. The Judge.
Sweeper Tom's Dollar.
No train was in sight when a importer
had climbed the stairs of a down-town
station on the Sixth Avenue J-'levated
Road the other night, and dropped his
ticket into the box, and none was due
for several minutes, so he passed into
the little two-by-six waiting-room, in
side which a conclave of three was in
progress, the gateman, the ticket-seller,
who had opened the door of his cell and
was thus able to attend to his duty and
enjoy the pleasure of conversation sim
ultaneously, and the cbon-hued "sweep
er," who was leaning on the top of his
broom and philosophizing as the report
er entered: "Wimmen is cute, you kin
jes' bet yo'r life," said he, "aii' a eul
lud puss'on has to git up bright an' yer
ly to get roun' 'em for wunst, lit erione
to keep on a fooliu' ob em. Now dar's
my old 'oman. 'Pears to me that thar
ain't nuilhi sh' don' know, an' it takes
a pow'ful lot o' cle'rness to git roun'
her, I jes' tell you boss. I hev to toto
her hum eb'ry dorlah ob my wages, or
I done ketch it, an' hit's the wuss
boahd fo' me dat week dal eber yo' see.
I fooled her fur a long time by tellin'
her I wuz dro'in on'y a dorlah a day
j"ar, but my brc'r Dick, the foolishcst
darkey you eber seen, he done giv' the
'ole ting away. He wuks on the Ninet"
Avenue Elevator, an' he done jrone an'
tole the 'ole 'oman as he made a dorlah
twenty cents a day, an' that I mus'
make the same roun hyar. 1 natcraly
tried to argy the m Uter, an' tole her as
how Dick wuz a poahtali, an' I wuz a
sweeper, but, Lor' bress you, sonny,
she's yanked that 'ar twenty cents out
on me eber since. But, I fool the ole
'oman good l:s' week, an' don't you go
ter furgit hit," and the dusky one
shifted from one leg to the other in tho
exuberauce of his joy.
"How did you do that, Tom?" asked
the ticket dispenser.
" Well, Marse Henery, this is how it
war. Las' Sat'day nijjht I went home
yerly an" sot myse'f down in the cheer
b the heatah an' started hup sech a
groauin' ai' a sighin' as you nevah
seen. The ole 'oman binieby got kin'
o' skecred like, an' arsk me wut the
matter wuz. I tole her I had a case o'
misery in my chis', an' didn't know how
I coufd stan' the aggerny. Go an'
see the dorktah,' sez she. Dorktah
won't look at me miner a dollah,' sez
I, 'an' I ain't got no dollah for a dork
tah.' 'Sho now, honey,' sez she, 'you
take this ver dollah an' go right away
an' see tiie dorktah.' Well, I groans
an' mopes a bit longer, an' then I tuk
right hoi on that dollah an' went out.
Bimeby I comes back, an' sez I've seed
that dorktah an' he holled me right
ovah, and thar warn't nuffin' reely
wrong, but I mus' jes' lay oft' fur a day.
An' thet's how I fool dat ole 'oman o'
mine, Marse Henery."
' I don't quite tumble to yerracket,"
said the gate-man.
" Lor', look at that now! How stoop
id white folks is to be sho'. Don' yo'
unnerstan' I nebber went neah no dork
tah, an' I had a 'ole dollah fur rav own
pertiklar spcn'in' money an' a 'ole day
orf to spen' it in. To think o' ye not
to seed that now. Wall, I'll tell you
jes' what I done with that ar dollah. I
went "'
Here the gate-man rushed out with a
hoarse yell: "Aa'l'm train! All aboard!"
and the reporter stepped out of the
warm cook into tim draughty cars,
where a few vawning passengers were
shivering, and did not hear what the gay
Lothario did with his hardly won dollar.
-V. 1". Tribune.
Where It Came In.
"Mr. Maples," said the junior part nei
of the house, as he looked over the ex
pense account of one of his travelers
just in, "your expenses are just twenty
live dollars more for two weeks than the
last man on that route."
" Is that so? What sort of a man was
he?"
"One of our best salesmen.'
"Did he smoke, drink and chew?"
"He did."
"Stop at the best hotels?"
"Yes."
"Take sleepers and parlor cars?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, it must be that when he
struck that fat grocer at Troy- he won
twenty-five dollars at draw-poker where
I lost it! I was going to suggest to you
that if I was to remain on that route it
would pay the firm to hire some one to
give me a few lessons." Wall Street
News.
To what agreeable thing does on
oftenTurn thr cold, shoulder? The firei
British Mall Baps.
Forty letters were written last year in
England for each man, woman, and
2hild therein, thirty in Scotland, six
teen in Ireland, and thirty-six in Great
Britain taken as a wholo, against twenty
one in the United States, which comes
next in the list of nations as a letter
writer. But the English post-office was
not only not dismayed at the continents
of paper and oceans of ink represented
by tho 1,500,000,000 of lettera de
livered, but undertook, besides, so
much of other varied business as
to merit the title of the Governmental
ragbag, where all odds and ends were
indiscriminately thrown. It not only
sent and still sends your letters, your
papers, your telegrams, and your money,
but will save the latter for you if you
are so fortunate as to have any; or will
sell you an annuity, if you wish to pro
vide" thus against old age, or will invest
your money for you in Government
bonds. When you wish to do any of
these thing, the post-office is most
pleasant and respectful; it is your ser
vant. But it has, alas another aspect,
grim and surly, where it is your master.
Ft is a tax collector witho'ut rebate in
the past or deduction in the future, and
relentlessly mulcts one in certain sums
for certain things. For instance, the
mild and wholesome -'home brew'd,"
which was wont in the past to wet the
whistle of the thirsty pedestrian, can no
longer be connected under one's own
vine without first paying a yearly li
cense of a dollar or two to the post-office;
aud the brewer, too, who makes hogs
heads where the cottager or publican
makes pints, must also contribute.
Man's four-footed friend, be he of
high or low degree, is also ignominious
ly made the subject of license, and the
owner of every dog must pay into the
Eost-oflice a "yearly ottering" of $1.50.
ut, think you, in case of non-payment
your faithful friend is snatched away
"from you by a barbarian with a net or
lasso? No," indeed! Your dog is left
aud you are the one imprisoned, and in
prison you stay till you pav the license
and such additional fine as the Magis
trate may direct. It is needless to say
that English streets are not disfigured
by itinerant dog prisons, tilled with suf
fering animals, which, of all the four
footed beings, deserve at the hand of
man the most gentleness and considera
tion. I will say this for English law,
that in this arresting the master, who is
responsible, and ignoring the dog. who
is blameless, it is more just and civilized
than ours.
The post-office yearly demands of you
53.50 for each male 'servant in your
employ aud $10 for each carriage you
may be so fortunate as to own, and
should you be so unhappy as to belong
to an "effete aristocracy" and have a
coat of arms, you may "pay $10 more
md paint your crest on the panels of
your coach. It is not necessary, though,
to be lawfully entitled to a coat armor
in order to emblazon it on your
equipage. Pay the tax and no ques
tions are asked. And this reminds mo
of a story, for the truthof which I can
vouch.
A certain Bristol doctor, having ar
rived at the dignity of a brougham, or
dered such an equipage at the shop of a
local manufacturer. When it was near
completion, says the maker: "Well,
doctor, shall we put your arms on the
carriage?" "O, to be sure," w:is the
answer. 'Then send us a sketch of
what they are," returned the maker,
"and we will put them on." "Ah! but
their selection I would prefer to
leave entirely to you." said JEscu
Iap. The maker, concealing his aston
ishment and amusement, politely re
quested his customer's attention to a
heraldic book in his office, asking him
to select for himself. The doctor s eye
Was so struck Avith the different plates,
that he demanded that each should be
reproduced on his brougham. The her
aldic painter of the establishment subse
quently flatly refused to prostitute his
art by painting two coats of arms on one
Carriage, and combined the two escutch
eons into one, so that the happy doctor
now lolls in his carriage in blissful
knowledge that the admiring world can
iee upon his carriage door the arms of
f.he Ducal House of Beaufort quartered
tipon those of the ancient Berkeley
family.
Fire arms as well as coats of arms
aiust pay their tribute to the post-office,
ind every shot-gun in the kingdom rep
resents two dollars and fifty cents a year
to the Government, and no't only must
the hunter pay for his gun, but also for
his game and his gamekeeper, for each
of which he must take out a yearly li
cense. The post-office did not arrive at its
present elliciency at a bound. It sprang
not "full armed" from the brain of ge
nius, but attained its splendid develop
ment through generations of slow prog
ress. Letters originally were sent by
private messengers, afterward by "com
mon carriers," who began about the
year 1500 to traverse the country with
their pack hcyses. Sometime before
this, however, traveling "by post," that
s, with ielays of horses, came into be
ing, and sometimes letters were thus
snt, as is proved by tiie writing,
"Haste, post, haste," found on the back
of letters written about the sixteent
century. "Post haste" we now use as a
synonym for great rapidity, but it may
well be questioned if we should be satis
fied in this age of steam and electricity
with the speed of the post when the ex
pression originated, which was about
three miles an hour. Bristol (Eng.)
Cor. National Republican.
A Singular Fish.
There was yesterday on exhibition at
the office of the Virginia & Gold Hill
Water Company a monstrosity in the
shape of a trout caught in Marietta
Lake. A gentleman caught it day be
fore yesterday, and yesterday sent it to
this city to Captain Overton, Superin
tendent of the Water Company's affairs.
The trout is exactly sixteen inches in
length, and is perfect in form in all
parts but the head. The under jaw pro
jected exactly one inch by measurement
beyond the upper one, and the tongue
about half as far. The upper jaw curves
down like the beak of a parrot. It has
teeth on the sides but none in front.
The head, when viewed from the front,
are two indentations that seem to be
perfect eyes, while on the sides of the
head arethe real eyes, though probably
they were sightless, as a sort of film
covers them, and one is much higher ob
the head than the other. It is likely thai
while young the fish met with an acci
dent of some kind: a big trout, perhaps,
snapped off its upper jaw, though there
is now no such sign of mutilation in the
skin which covers the beak-like jaw.
The trout will be preserved as a natural
curosity. Virginia City (Nee.) Enter
prise. A Boston paper prints "the coal
sheds of Mount Auburn," for "the cool
shades of Mount Auburn." in one of Be
Butler's speeches. N. Y. Mail
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
One-third of the Lord Mayors of
London, during the past twenty-four
years, have been bachelors.
Eleven street car conductors in
Cincinnati have been presented with
$100 each for long and faithful services.
Prof. Newton sa"s that the earth
receives about 3,000,000.000 of meteors
everv year, but thev onlv increase the
size of the earth one inch" in 100,000,000
years.
A Dotroit detective promises to
vanquish any one who will compete
with him in "the matter of pie eating,
"without regard to sex, color, politics
or anything else." Detroit Post.
Fifteen and twenty dollar bouquets
are to be dispensed with this winter
among the "best" people of the metrop
olis, and only the tiniest bunches of
flowers are "to be in favor. N. Y.
Qraphic.
Two little daughters of Franklin
Phillips, of Braxton County, West
Virginia, put powder into the tire so as
to make it burn up. One of them U
now sightless, and the other's life is de
spaired of. St. Louis Post.
George William Curtis told the
Staten Islanders, at their latecelebratiou.
that "this precious stone Staten Island,
set in their silver seas, is the most re
splendent gem of the imperial crown of
the great metropolis." X. V. Times.
A letter was recently received at
the White House from " a citizen in
Somerset. Kan. This citizen humbly
petitioned to have the name of the place
changed to Handspring. The reason ho
gave was: "There are several men in
the town who can turn handspriugs.
but not one who can turn a somerset."
Chicago Tribune.
Some time since a Hartford man
presented a friend of his a pet squirrel
which he had raised from its infancy.
The next day the pet was gone, having
forced its way out of the cage. Two
days later it put in its apperanee at the
old homestead, wet, muddy and hungry,
having traveled a distance of thirteen
miles. Hartford Post.
Among the latest batch of erratic
suicides are these: A Texas lawyer,
because he lost a case; a Kansas miller,
because a dam he had just built did not
hold water to turn his wheel; an Indiana
man", because an old wounil would not
get well; a Maryland woman because
she got religion; an Illinois farmer, be
cause the plowing did not suit him.
Philadelphia Record.
Among the incidents of the recent
gale on Lake Erie are the rescue by the
life-saving crew at Cleveland of eigh
teen lives, the imperiled sailors being
brought to shore in baskets, and the
drowning of four duck-hunters at Erie,
who had no faith in the Signal Service
and put oft" in spite of the warning
of the Weather Bureau and the advice
of friends. Cleveland Leader.
Judge Swan, who has passed some
months on the Queen Charlotte Islands,
in the interest of the United States Fish
Commission, reports the discover' of a
uew food fish, which he calls the "black
cod. He says it is one of the finest fish
he has ever seen, and is caught iu great
numbers by dredging in deep water,
and, when salted, is more tender and
palatable than codfish. N. Y. Sim.
Mr. Barnum reluctantly confesses
that the profits of the "greatest show
on earth" last a ear were $700,000.
The circus business is coming up, and
will .-non rival journalism as a profes
sion. The girl that slides down the
wire from the center pole to the ground
gets a bigger salary than any editor on
earth, even if she ha-n"t spent four years
of her life acquiring a college educa
tion. Chicago Inttr Ocian.
Thousand-, of young American
swell-, are said by a fashionable tailor
to wear nothing of American make.
Their mea .tires are sent to Loudon tail
ors, hatters, and furnishers, who pro
vide the article.-ordered very promptly.
It is true that garments thus obtained
are liable to prove poor fits, but there
are Engli-h tailor-, here al-o. whose
sole einplo ment is to complete-imported
suits to make them fit. - X. Y. Mail.
Five young men started to take
their girls out to ride at Lanca-ter. N.
II., recently, in single carriage-.. In
turning a corner the forward team
tipped over. Mid the other four team
were going so fiwi that they could not
be stopped, but one after trie other be
came a part of the general '..:ek. until
it contained five team- Mid ten people.
No serious injury result i d to the youn:
people, but two car. 5:ie- were badly
wrecked. Boston Herald.
Mexico will never be inhabited to
any great extent 1 Anrjh-S:ion..
according to Don Patricio Mllmo. :t
wealthy capitali-t of Monterey, for the
very good rea-on that there i too much
available land in the United State for
people to settle on ra'her than ea-t
their lot araonjr Spaniard- and Italian
in Mexico Those Engli-h-speakin
people who are now ti.ere are generally
adventurers with no money, "but pleoti
of brass and wind, and Don Patrici.
predicts their downfall aud final ex
pulsion in tiie cotir-e of time. Chicago
Times.
A law forbidding rum-ellers to
maintain such ob-iruction- in their
windows as will prevent a free view of
the premises i- o:: tiie Mas-aeim-etts
ta:u:e b-ok. but in Ito-tou it i- com
monly di-regarded. Smii" I'whihiiion
ists ariie that to open these ph.ce- to
pulilie view increase- the temptation
to drink. It i also said that young
per-on-- who hae not et contracted a
stroni; appetite for alcholie liquors, and
with it a lo of self-respect, will jro by
a hundred saloons that are complying
with the srreen law to enter one where
they will b concealed while taking their
drink. As :: rnh. tin- worL barrooms
are tho-e that ohey the law as to screens.
Boston Transcript.
A Litlle Romance.
Even Vermont now and then ha it
little romance. Here i-; the story of one
from the Burlington '- Prejs: "
"Last steamer some Burlington peo
ple were visiting iu a Western town,
and there formed the acquaintance of a
furniture dealer who had recently buried
his second wife. They joked him a little
about his future matrimonial prospects,
aud he candidly admitted that he would
like to marry again, and asked them if
they knew an eligible lady- Subse
quently he looked at their photograph
album, iu which wa the picture of an
unmarried lady of this city, which took
the widower's fancy, and he was told
her name. The Burlington peojde
thought no more of it, but after their
return home were surprised to learn
that the Western gentleman had opened
a correspondence with the lad- alluded
to. Tfie coursa of true love ran smooth
ly, the Western widower came to Bur
lington on Friday of last week, saw hi
lady-love for the first time, and the mar
riage took place on Tuesday, the happy
couple starting at once for the West'
PERSONAL AND LITERAR1.
Mary Anderson has refused the new
drama written for her by Oscar Wilde.
Miss Helen Barry, the actress, is
the tallest woman on the American
stage. She is six feet one.
Rev. Edward Everett Hale is think
ing of writing a history of the Pacific
Ocean and its shores. It is reported
that he has been collecting material for
the work for forty years past.
Anthony Comstock says that the
societies for the suppression of vice
have destroyed during the past ten
years more than twenty-five tons of
villainous literature. All. Tribune.
Miss Stone, the daughter of Stona
Pasha, who was formerly an American
General aud recentlv in the service of
the Khedive, is said to be one of the
most accomplished linguists in the
world, and the best Arabic scholar ol
her sex.
Miss Aver, whose father advertised
himself into a colossal fortune, refused
a European Prince, who followed her to
this country in tho hopo of marryiug
hr. The constant, judicious advertiser
occupies a seat several tiers higher than
mere royalty. Chicago Herald.
President Arthur has been present
ed with a history of the London Ancient
and Honorable Artillery Company, in
two sumptuous volumes, bound in green
Turkey morocco, richly gilded and il
luminated, and illustrated with hand
paintings. Chicajo Inter Ocean.
" Be careful," wrote Mr. Whittier
to a young author about, to nublish his
first book of verse, "not to make the
book too large. Don't put everything
into it, let who will advise it. Sit like
Rhatlamanthus in stern judgment upon
all that claims admission. I speak out
of the depths of bitter experience."
Of the late Rev. Charles T. Brooks,
of Newport, R. L, the Boston Advertiser
says: "The two noblest literatures of
modern times are indebted to Mr.
Brooks for his perfect translations of
German poetry and prose into idiomatic
and pure English. In th's work Mr.
Brooks has had but very few equals,
and probably no superior. Thousands
have attempted the same work, but only
a few choice spirits have succeeded in
making Faust, Margaret, Ruckert and
Uuland speak pure English. Mr. Brook
was one of these few.
Colonel Cilley, who once represent
ed New Hampshire in the United States
Senate, is living at tho age of ninety
two years. He is a grandson anrf
namesake of General Jo Cilley, who
fought against Gage and Burgoyne in
the Revolution, and the elder broth
er of Hawthorne's friend, Jonathan
Cilley, who was killed iu a duel by
Graves, of Kentucky, while serving in
Congress from Maine, forty-five years
ago. Colonel Cilley was a Lieutenant
at the battle of Lundy's Lane, in Cana
da. Boston Transcript.
---
HUMOROUS.
"If I thought I was going to be
come gray, I should die," exclaimed
Mi-R i'roudfit. And when her hair
turned gray, she did dye. sure enough.
Golden Dags.
Said a father to his son, who had
just handed him the teacher's report foi
the last month: "My boy. this report ii
very unsatisfactory. I'm not at all
pleased with it." "Little son "I told
tin; teacher that I thought you wouldn't
be; but he wouldn't change" it."
Wife: "Why. George, I do believe
you've been taking too much wine!"
George (who lives in Brooklyn and has
just returned home after a "lively even
ing): "Wine! Nonsense, dear! I've
just hie come home over the Bridge,
and it's made me dizzy that's all s'
help me Bob." N. Y. Tribune.
While a gentleman was visiting at
the house of u friend he gave a silrer
piece to the son of tho host. What do
you say, George?" asked the lad'a
father. " What docs your heart prompt
you to say in return for the gentleman's
kiudness?" " Plea-e give me another;
that's what it prompts me to say sir."
Very rare, indeed: Antiquary -"Here
is something very rare; the
identical Colt's pistols worn by the
great Roland, who was slain at Ronces
valles by the Turks." Customer
"But there were no pistols in tha
day." Antiquary I know that, W)
dear sir; that's what makes them so
rare." Harper's Bazar.
"Come, Satnhel, put oop dose
shutters already. Ve moost close our
store chust like odder peoples on Sat
urday afternoon, to give our vorkmen
a little fresh air, eh? But, Samlvel,
when you gets oop de shutters, lock the
doors aud exercise the povs until after
the sunset goes down. Ve moost not
let the poor fellows get sunstrike, Sara
ivel." lloston Transcript.
Quits.
" Who is that Hirt. you aslc.
In the crushed tmntlim dress?
'Tls my wife you take to task
. With such emphutlc stress!
" That stupid antique cad
Will talk her Into fits.
Your husband? Tlmt's not had!
At least it makes us quits."
.V. I'. Tribune.
A college student, writing home to
his father, told how his class and an
other class got hold of a rope at oppo
site ends, and how his class beat the
other class pulling. The old man
mused over the letter a while and re
plied as follows: "I'm mighty glad to
lieer that you ken pul so strong. I wa
afeered that you couldn't stan the tug
when you went thar, an' i'm mighty
much" pleased, i've got a ole mule
that's got such a tufl'mouth that i never
could plow him. i want you to buck
agin him, an i in wilhn to bet you ken
outpul him. ( ome home
Arkansaut Traveller.
immegitlv."
Coming Leap .Year.
A correspondent writes to inquire If
1900 is a leap-year. In Catholic and
Protestant countries, the year 1900 will
not be a leap-year, they all having
adopted the Gregorian calendar. In
countries where the Greek Church is
established (Russia and Greece), the
old Julian calendar still holds, and those
countries will count it a leap-year. Aft
er February, 1900, therefore, the differ
ence between the two calendars, which
is now t elve davs, will become thir
teen days, and will remain so until 2100,
the year 2000 being a leap-year in both
the "Julian and Gregorian calendars.
Tiie rule for leap-year may be thus
stated, according to the Gregorian cal
endar, which differs from the Julian
onh in a special treatment of the cent
ury years. All years whose index
number (1883 is tho index number of
the present year) is divisible by four are
leap-years; unless (1) their index num
ber is divisible by 100 (century years).
In that case they are not leap-years, un
less (2) their index number is divisible
Dy400; in which case they are leap
years. Thus, 1700, 1800, 1900 and 2100"
are not leap-veara, while 1600, 2000 and
3400 ax.-2"te Critic