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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 3, 1883)
) I THE JOURNAL.! "WEDNESDAY, OCT. 3, 1883. Ziicrci at tie rie2ci, C:lita, Hot., u tieal clus sitter. I SCREAM. Tell us not in mournful numbe (That this life is but a dream. When a girl that weighs one hundred Gets outside a quart of cream And then wants more. Elmira Gazette. tSte is real, life is earnest, And the pirls know what they need, But on cream they are the biggest Set to show their grit and greed. No encore. X. T. Times. Be not like dumb, driven cattle, Be a hero in the strife: Never with her mother battle, Save tbo ice-cream lor your wife. Proceed. Broddun Sagus. Let us then be up and doing, ' With a heart for any fate; But never let us go a-wooin? Girls that want another plal How's that" ileriden Ifactitoy. Lives of such girls all remind us. As we float adown the stream. That the boys who coino behind us Will have to pay for lota of cream. N-e-x-t. Yonkers Statesman. And, departing, leave another Bill for unpaid plates of cream. Which, perhaps, some forlorn brother. Seeing, may take heart again. And get trust also. X. Y. E. R. Journal. Not enjoyment, and not sorrow Is our destined end or way: But to treat, though cash we borrow. Deserted whenwe cease to pay. Don't it? Palmer 'Journal. Trust no girl, however pleasant. With one plate to be content: She'll eat until her lover hasn't To his name another cent. And then shake him. SomctvWic Journal. THE SQUIRE'S FUN. Squire Doolittlo was a farmer, fat find jolly, who liked fun, but always preferred it at some one else's ex pense. If be could plaj- a trick upon one of his sons, he enjoyed it hugely. As a consequence, the boys did not reverence him ver3' much, and were always try ing some practical joke upon their father. Sometimes they succeeded, but cot often. Tm too old a fish to be caught by the pin-hooks of boys," he would say. When some plan of theirs had miscar ried and the joke was turned upon themselves, much to his delight and their chagrin. "You've heard of weasels, haven't you? Yes? Well, weasels, especially old weasels, never sleep." "We must get a laugh against Jiim in some ivay," said Tom. "He's too pro voking! I'd give a dollar to trick him in such a way that he wouldn't like to hear about it." "So would I," said John. "And I'd make it two." said Robert. But we're hardly shaqi enough. That's the trouble." It happened that the Squire was in the haymow in the barn when this con versation took place, and the boys were sitting on some boxes on the barn floor. He chuckled as he listened, and a mo fnent later called out from his lofty perch: I'll tell you what I'll do, bovs. When you got a "good joke on rae, I'll buy each one of 3-011 a hat." The boys looked foolish. But finally, because they had nothing else to say, they accepted the challenge, and in a half-hearted sort of a way set their wits to work to earn the hats. In the squire's Hock of sheep was an old ram called David. The animal had a chronic spite against the whole human family, and never lost an opportunity of exhibiting it to any individual of "the family that crossed his path. If a stranger entered the yard or pasture Where David was, the poor man was fortunate if he was not knocked down as suddenly as if he had been struck by lightning. The ram always attacked from the rear. He would get behind the object of his attack, curb his neck, Shut his eyes, and charge! As may bo Imagined, the great horns of the ani mal, backed up by the momentum fathered by his charge, gave anything ut a pleasant sensation when they came in contact with the legs of his un suspecting victim. Generally a board was strapped to his horns, over his woolly face, to obstruct his range of Tision and serve as a warning to strang ers ofjiis warlike propensities. But he often contrived to tear it from his head and then alas for his unsuspecting victim. The boys enjoyed many an hour ot fun with David. The sheep-pasture came up to the barn-yard on one side, and a creek ran along by both. Where the pasture came to the creek there was a very high bank, and this bank was steep. The Doolittle boys used to get upon a narrow rock thatwas just under the edge of the bank. Here, when they stood up, all of their bodies above the waist could be seen above the level of the pasture. Placing themselves in this posi tion they would attract the attention of old David by calling and shakipg their hats at him. He was always ready for battle. With lowered head, .curbed neck and a snort of anger, he would rush at them with his e-es closed. Tak ing advantage of this" peculiarity, the boys would drop down behind the bank, and David would go over them and into the water with a plunge that would have done credit to a Newfoundland door. Then he could get back to the shore, looking wrathful and sleepish; but ho could not be induced to renew the attack again at that time. His memory, however, was poor, or his pugnacity was too strong for his dis cretion, for in an hour, if the boys came back and showed themselves above the bank, he was read' for another charge. Perhaps the foolish animal thought that some time he would be too quick for them. The squire had often watched this sport, and laughed at David's reckless ness and at his appearance as he plunged into the water and came forth with wet wool and disgusted and wrath ful aspect. One day the squire was in the barn yard salting the cows. He had a half bushel' measure in his hand, and as he looked over the fence into the sheep pasture, and saw David watching him, he held up the measure and shook it at the old fellow. David gave a snort of defiance, and began to curb his neck and shake his head, as if challenging the squire to combat. "I wonder if I couldn't trick the old fellow in the same way that the boys fool him?" thought the deacon. He looked about the 3ard cautiously. His sons were not in sight, and he concluded he would have a laugh at David's ex pense. Crawling through the fence, he reached the rock on which the boys stood in their encounters with David. The ram had not seen him. When the squire raised himself cautiously ,and looked over the bank, David was watch ing the barn-yarM, and evidently won dering what had become of the man Who had just challenged him. "Hi; David!" cried lhe squire, hold ing the half-bushel measure out before Bim as a target for the sheep to aim at "Hi, David!" David "hi-ed" at once. He gave a id flourish, as if to say: "Look out iere!" then charged Unfortunately for the 'Squire, he was 1 excited over the fun that lie forgot mself comrjletelv. and onlv thought bout the half-bushel measure. Instead SDlBoutof the sheep's wi '& - . 4 , " m OM excitement forgetting that David al ways shut his eyes when he charged,! ana aimed for the object before him--when he closed them. The consequence' was that the ram did not follow the, measure, but bolting straight for the; place where ho last saw it, struck the poor 'Squire square in the stomach and he and David went over the bank and into the creek as if shot out of a cannon. "Wall, Isnum!" sputtered the 'Squire, , as he made his way to the bank. "I forgdbsill about dodging. 1 do b'leeve the ola reprobate's broke my stomach' in, by the way it feels. You old ras cal!" he screamed to David, whose air was one of victory, as he stood on the pasture-side of the fence, making defi ant motions with his head at the dea con, who had clambered out of the water on the barnyard side; "I'd like to break your old neck! I shan't get over this for a month, if I ever do. I wouldn't have been so bruised for five dollars. Fm glad the boys didn't see me." He made his way up the bank and towards the barn, under cover of the fence. He didn't want any one at the house to see him in his wet clothes. As ho opened the barn-door a broadside of laughter saluted his ears, from the bay ,mow in the end of the barn towards the creek. He knew then that the boys' hour of triumph hail come. They had seen his discomfiture. "I say, father!" irreverently called out Tom, in a voice ohoked with laugh ter, '4Youdidn'tscrooch quick enough. Next time you'll know better how to do it" "What became of the half-bushel?" asked John, and Rob screamed: "Hi, David!" in such a way that notwith standing his pain the squire was half inclined to laugh him .elf. "I I acknowledge that David was too much for me that time," said the squire, looking very red and foolish. "Laugh away, boys, if it does you auy good." "What's the price of hats?" asked John. "Well, but the joke wasn't yours,' said the Squire. "But I'll tell you what I'll do. If you won't say any thing about this foolish affair, I'll buy tho hats, and give you a day's fishing anytime you wish to take it." "We agree! we agree!" cried the boys. But the story leaked out in some way, and the Squire had to endure a good deal of sly laughter from his fun-loving neighbors. But he never quite forgave old David, and although he did not say so, he had a feeling of unqualified satis faction when ho heard one day that the old sheep's neck had been broken in a fight Eben E. Bcxjord, in Youth's Companion. Information Wanted. A City Hall official was about to de part for home and dinner the other day, when a stranger entered and intro duced himself as John Linden, and added: "I presume you are a smart man, or J 011 wouldn't be holding this position, want to ask you a question or two. You own a horse?" " No, sir." "Don't eh? If you did own one, and he had symptoms of poll-evil, what would you do?" " I can't tell, sir. I am just going to dinner." "Yes, I know, but I've another question or two? Was Cleopatra a married womanP" "I don't know, sir." "Don't you? That's bad, for I've a bet of three to one that you knew all about it Well, we'll let that pass. Do you think that Shakespeare lived happily with his wife, and is there any truth in the rumor I heard up on Michi gan avenue half an hour ago that he hated cats?" 44 What do I know about these things!" exclaimed the official. " I am in a hurry, sir!" " So am I, but wait a minute more. Let's see! Oh, yes, I wanted to ask you if it would be of any use to try to revive a person who had been drowned three davs?" " No, "sir!" shouted the official. "Wouldn't, eh! Sorry for that for I have a bet of ten to five that it would be. Sit down a minute whilo I ask you another question. Do you believe that maternal instinct descends to fish worms?" "I believe j-ou are a crank, sir, and j" "You do, eh? Then I win a bet of twenty to five, and will never cease to be grateful. History tells us of the youth " "I am going home!" "Certainlv. and I'll walk up street with you. History tells us of the youth who firod the Ephesian dome." "I don't care I don't care a cent, sir!" "Yes, but what was his name, and was the dome insured? Did the fire de partment come out and was the youth arrested on charge of incendiarism? I want your decision?" "Go away o off I don't want you!" shou'ed the official, as ho tried to outwalk the other. "You know, don't you?" "No, sir no, sir go 'way from me!" "You don't? Then I lose a double barreled shot-gun on a bet that you did. One more question." The official rushed for a car and entered it but the man walked along beside it and looked through the win dow and said: "What is meant by the term 'spon taneous outburst?1 I have frequently seen it in print, and I thought I'd ask you to explain." A silver half-dollar changed hands in the car, and a broad-shouldered laborer jumped out and spit on his hands and ran the information-seeker into a hard ware store, where he had no sooner re covered his breath than he said to the clerk who came forward: "I've always thought if I ever got time to call in here I'd ask you if it was true that Henry VIU. invented Sara toga fried potatoes?" Detroit Free Press. The Result of a "Personal. A funny story is told of a lady who was foolish enough to answer a "per sonal" in a daily paper which stated that a young man was desirous of mak ing the acquaintance of a young woman, with a view to matrimony. She carried on a long correspondence with the ad vertiser, taking, however, the precau tion to have her letters copied by a con fidential friend. She always sent the copies and retained the originals. Her answers came regularly, but her corres pondent Was (lllitH AS nntitimia a aha was herself, for he always employed a type-writer, and she had no means of becoming familiar with his handwriting. Finally, after a good deal of gush, a meeting was agreed upon between the pair, and the lady was somewhat sur prised, when she arrived at the place appointed, to see her brother, wearing in his button-hole the flower which was decided upon as the means of identifica tion. They both acknowledged their folly by indulging in a hearty laugh and went home together, fully resolved to have nothing further to do with these traps to catch the unwary called "per sonals." .Boafon Budget. It is said the mailing system of the United States is the most complete and perfect in the world. As an illustra tion, Mrs. J. P. Pond, of Napa, CaL, a j,ewJ 2 dnoe ha returned from the dead-letter office a letter written by her irxzjnmv' si? w -., ttumcisco VAron Our Young Readers WHAT I WOULD DO. If I were a little bird, I'd sing my sweetest song: I'd take a Journey to tho sky, And frolic all day long. If I wcro a pussy-oat I'd chaso the rats and mico. And have sweat cream for supper, And everything that's nice. If I were a tiny mouse, I'd gnaw the soft new cheese; When Tabby wasn't in tho way, I'd do just as I please. But I am a little boy Just learning what to do; And every day. it seems to me, I find out something now. I get up in the morning And play with Tom and Nell: But when I am as old as they, I'll go to school as well. I'm very -little, to be sure. But then I'm only four; And some day I'll be older, And know a great deal more. Our Little Ones. ROBOLO'S WHIPPING. Bobolo was only eight years old, but he was a person of considerable impor tance nevertheless; for his father was a King, and consequently he was a Prince. It is true that his father was only King of a Kaffir tribe of negroes in Africa, but, as he knew nothing about the great world away from the part of Af rica he lived in, he fancied himself the greatest man in the world. If Bobolo had not been a Prince, he might have been a very nice boy, but as it was, he was so spoiled by being petted and told he was better than any other boy that he made himself so dis agreeable that nobody could love him. But that fact did not make much dif ference to Bobolo, for he never knew it because nobody dared to say it He had a great many slaves of about his own age, and he made them his com panions. When he was in a good humor he would treat these little slaves very well, but when he was cross which was most of the time he would slash right and left among them with a lit tle whip which he had which was made of the tough hide of tho hippopotamus. Sometimes he did not even wait until he was cross to whip his little compan ions; but would cut awav at their bare legs just for the fun, as lie said, of see ing them dance, for, though Bobolo was not very strong, his whip was very hard and he'know how to use it. Among the slave boys, the strongest and quickest was Kami. He was a year older than Bobolo, and was as kind and obliging as any boy could be. These good qualities did not make Bobolo treat him any better than he did the others. On the contrary, Kami seemed to catch the whip oftener than anybody else. The reason for this was not that Bobolo disliked him, but because he liked him. He wanted Kami with him all the tint; and so when he was angry poor Kami was sure to be near, and consequently was the easiest to beat. And what made it harder to bear was that the boys in Africa do not wear any clothes, and so there was nothing be tween Kami's skin and the whip. One night when the boys were going to bed Kami slept in the same room with Bobolo Bobolo felt cross and would not be satisfied with anything that was done for him. It made him crosser still to see how contented Kami looked, so he took up his whip and sud denly struck him. Kami gave a great jump and cried out with pain. 44 What's the matter with you?" said Bobolo. 44 You hurt me," sobbed Kami, rub bing the place where he had been hit 44 Hurt 3011!" mocked Bobolo, strik ing him again. " You big baby! Now you've something to cry for. I wouldn't cry for a little thing like that!" "Nobody ever struck you," sobbed Kami; "you don't know how it hurts." 44 1 should think not!" cried Bobolo, with a sneer. " Strike me! a Prince. But I know I wouldn't cty, anyhow!" Kami did not answer "again, for he knew it might only bring him another blow with the whip. He quietly laid himself down and prepared to sleep. But Bobolo was not sleepy, and he would not have Kami be so. He snarled like a little dog: 44 Get out of there! You can lie on the ground to-night; I want your bed!" Kami knew it would do no good to complain; so he quietly got up, dodged a blow of the whip, and waited patient ly until his ugh- mastershould lie down. Bobolo scolded" a little while, and then took his place in Kami's bed. It did not matter much to Kami, for his bed was only an antelope skin, and he could sleep just as well on the ground. He would have gone to Bob olo's bed, but he did not dare; so he crouched down in one corner of the room, and before long both he and his master were fast asleep. Late that night there was a sudden eommotion in the village. Somcbod3 had given the alarm that elephants were coming; and the whole village was roused in an instant. We who live in great cities far from wild beasts can not at first see why the coming of elephants should create such a stir; but when it is known how the ne groes live, we can understand better. Their huts arc small and frail, and the only protection the villages have against the thousands of wild beasts in the for ests round about is a slight fence of wood and vines. This does fairly well to keep out the smaller animals; but when a herd of elephants, each one as big and even bigger than Jumbo comes marching along, the fence is no more to them than a sheet of tissue paper would be to a man. It is not that the elephants are wicked and wish to do any harm, but because they are so huge that the3' do not think nmrtliinfr mnw nf nrtlincr tlirmicrli n. village than a thoughtless child does of putting its foot on a tiny ant's nest. So when the alarm was given this night, every man and woman in the village rushed out shouting and screaming, some running this way and some that "The men at once caught up blazing torches from the fire to throw at the elephants, because they knew that the freat creatures are afraid of flames, he women, at first, did not seem to know what to do, but suddenly one of them cried out: "The children! the children!" You might have thought, to hear them, that they were afraid some harm might happen to the little ones; but it was no such matter. There is a belief in some parts of Africa that elephants are afraid of the voice of children. So it usually happens that when a herd of elephants is known to be coming, the women all rush to their huts and drag out the children and whip them well to make them scream. It is not very nice for the children, of course, but it is done, nevertheless, and consequently on this night at the cry of "The chil dren!" all the women rushed to their huts. Among others Bobolo's mother ran to her hut. Not to get dear Bobolo, for lie must never be touched with the whip, but to get Kami. She was in a great hurry, and rushed to Kami's bed, and taking hold of the little sleeper there, dragged him, half-awake only, out into the street, and there laid on tbs whip so soundlv that the little fel low was moved to do his full share to ward scaring the elephant;. How he did yell! And the more he yelled and struggled, the harder she whipped. The elephants were frightened away at last and the children weie led back to the hut and put to bed again. There probably was never a more as tonished boy than Bobolo was that aight He was so greatly overcome that he could not say a word, but lay all the rest of the night sobbing with pain and wondering what had happened. o . The next morning '.hero was an ex planation wuon his mother saw her darling boy all covered with stripes where she had struck him. It seemed even to that stupid little fellow that there was something like retribution in his punishment for as it turned out ho had been flogged with his own cruel whip, which his mother had picked up by accident as she entered the hut However, the result happily was that Bobolo learned two important things. One was how to scare an elephant, and the other was that he would cry if ho was struck with a whip. His pnor slaves benefited by the last piece of knowledge, for he did not use his whip so fi eery after that Youth's Compan ion. The Dangerous Toy Pistol. The toy pistol is so safe, many ignor ant persons think, because it carries neither shot nor bullet. As I tried it once, I can tell you about it. First I twisted one of the caps around a match, and set the match on lire. When the llanie reached the paper cap there was a little explosion. Suddenly I felt a stinging sensation in my hand, and, on looking at it, I found several tiny black splinters sticking in the skin. I pulled theni out, but lfelt the pain for some time afterward. Then I placed a cap on the hearth and struck it with a hammer. This time I was well scared, and kept 1113" hands as far away as I could. When it went oft" I felt the same stinging sensation in niy left hand, which was more than two feet awa3 I had been struck again by a flying splinter. This thing was getting decidedly dangerous, and when I took up the pistol to try it, I carefully wrapped 1113 right hand in my handker chief. It wont oil beautifully, but ah! There was the mischief! The handker chief was dotted here and there with the black splinters from the exploded cap. The insane desire of the small boy to carry a pistol is one of the wonders of the age; and the worse than folly of those who allow him to do 60 is almost incredible. Of what use- is it? If the pistol will not go oil", it Is, as its owner would scornfully express it, "no good." If it does go off, it is a dangerous weapon that has power to maim and kill. Did you ever think what it means to kill to take away life? Who shall do so dire and terrible a thing as that? Are 3'ou fit to have a pistol? Are vou wise enough to carry a revolver? No, sir. It is against the law in some States to cany pistols. Why, then, should you wish a toy-pistol, that will shoot nothing but the boy who holds it? If you live in the backwoods, and have to light the terrible wild crow or the fero cious chipmunk, 3'ou may learn to use a good riile. In cities and" towns, where the most terrific wilu beasts to be seen are the cats, a boy who carries a pistol is a boy without sene a bo3 whom girls despise and brave boys call a cow ard. Charles Barnard, in St. Nicholas. A Boundary Question. There are probably but a very few people in Massachusetts who are aware, although the matter has been before the Legislature during the present session, that we have a boundary question with New Hampshire. After a long dispute, according to the account given b3r Mr. A. B. Thompson in a letter published in the' Nashua Telegraph, the bouudary was decided by the King of England in 1740. Starting at a point three miles north of the Merrimac River, the line was to follow the course of the river, three miles distant from it, to a certain point, and then to be run in a due west course to the Connecticut River. The line was to be surveyed by the authority of both provinces, but if the two could not agree either of them was to estab lish the line independently. The3' did not agree, and New Hampshire pro ceeded to run the line which has ever since been accepted as the boundar3' be tween the two provinces and States. But in making the .survc3 the New Hampshire surveyors did not make due allowance for the variation of the nee dle, and accordingly did not make a true east and west line. They cheated their clients. The angle between the true and accepted line is sufficient to make the base of the triangle on the Connecticut River three miles long, and the territoiy included within the trian gle amounts to more than fifty thou sand acres. In 1825 the two States ap pointed Commissioners to ascertain the true boundary, but when the fact above stated was discovered the Massachu setts Commissioners refused to mn a new line, asserting, very properly, that they were not authorized to make a new line, but to fix the old one. On the other hand, the New Hampshire Commission ers, with equal propriety, reported to the Governor of their State that they could not consistently confirm and mark out the old line, which was proved to be erroneous, thus ceding to Massa chusetts fifty thousand acres of laud to which it was not entitled. Although the matter has been before the Massa chusetts Legislature more than once since that time, nothing has been done, if we ma3' judge from the fact that re ports and speeches have been against taking any action to reclaim that terri tory, public sentiment is against mak ing a demand for the land which New Hampshire lost originally by the act of her own agents, and over which she has never even asserted jurisdiction. The request which Massachusetts now makes to her sister State is to have the monu ments of the original line reset and re placed. Boston Advertiser. A Ludicrous Blunder. Readers of newspapers are sometimes amused at a ludicrous blunder, which the proof-reader has failed to correct. But few. however, have ever laughed as heartih over an accidental muddling as did the Parisians one morn ing during the reign of Louis Philippe. The morning after the da3' on which a ministerial crisis had occurred, and M. Thiers had been sent for, there ap peared in the Constitutionncl the follow ing startling paragraph: 44 His Majest- the King, received M. Thiers 3-esterda', at the Tuileries, and charged him with the formation of a new Cabinet. The distinguished states man hastened to reph- to the King. 4I have onhr one regret, which is that 1 can not "wring 3our neck like a tur key's.' ' A few lines lower down there was an other paragraph to the following effect: "The efforts of justice are promptly crowned with success. The murderer of the Rue du Pot-de-fer has been ar rested. Led at onoe before the Judge of Instruction, the wretch had the har dihood to address that magistrate in terms of coarse insult, winding up with the following words: v4 'God anu manaremy witnesses that I have never had any other ambition than to serve your august person and my country loyallv to the best of my abil ity. " The printer had interchanged the ad dresses. But the joke was that all Paris knew that there was little love lost be tween the King and Thiers. The general appearance of cattle on the Wyoming ranges of this year is said to be far better than the average of pre vious years. In some districts in Cen tral W3'oming they are in superior con dition. The loss by death in the winter was small, and the number of calves satisfactory. Chicago Tribune. The cap-stone of Bunker Hill Mon ument was placed in position forty yeari ago. It is 221 feet high, and nearly thirty thousand people visited it last year. Boston Herald. IIOME, FARM AND GARDEN- A fruit-grower says it Is a good plan to trim trees high and pasture oruh'i; ils v. itii sheep. He prefcr-s :t tc plowing or mulching. If a 'Jtraw hat has been wet and the stiffness has departed, rub a little white of egg mixed with cold water over it; I put it on with a flannel cloth. N. Y. Post. - -A writer 111 Uardenmg lltuswalea uses thin gutta-percha in his grafting operations. Pieces about two inches square are put in hot water and placed around the graft." He likes it better than the common mixture for the pur pose. Walnut Cake: One cup of powdered sugar. oLv-half cup of butter, one-half cup of sweet milk, two eggs, well beaten, one teaspoonful of baking powder, ono and one-half cups of flour, one-half cup of walnut meats, and a little salt. The Household. It is said that one of the best ways of preparing cut flowers to send to a distance is to cut slits in potatoes and insert the flower stems, taking care that they are firmly fastened in and sup ported b3 a little cotton or paper. Po tatoes may be used in the same way in floral decorations by concealing them under leaves and flowers. N. Y. Ex aminer. To Cure Sties: With a fino camel-hair pencil paint the inflamed papilla with a tincture of iodine. The lids should be held apart bv the thumb and index linger of the left hand while the tincture is applied and until the part touched is dry. A few applications in the twenty four hours is sufficient This treatment has been used with success by a writer in the London Lancet. Peter Henderson says the best shad ing he has ever used for the glass in greenhouses or hotbeds is uaptha, mixed with a little white lead, so as to give it the appearance of thin milk. This can be put on the glass with a svringe, very quickly, at a cost not exceeding twenty five cents per one thousand square feet. It holds on the entire season until loos ened by the fall frosts. Chicago Jour nal. m m Small Industries on Farms. As " little foxes spoil the vines " and small expenses constantly incurred ab sorb large incomes, so minor industries carried on by farmers help pay ex penses and eventually render them wealthy. The great majority of West ern farmers devote themselves to rais ing a few leading crops, such as corn and wheat. Those who are not en gaged in producing grain raise cattle and sheep for the market. They take great delight in-doing things on an ex tensive scale. They are fond of increas ing the number of acres devoted to Cultivated crops, forage plants that are to be harvested and pastured, and adding to their tlocks and herds. The)' are averse, however, to devoting time to the production of lit tle things. Tlie3" keep but few fowls and no bees. They raise no small fruits, even for the supply of their own tables. Their gardens are small in pro portion as their farms are large. Little is raised in them but the more common sorts of vegetables. No table delica cies are produced in the fields or gar dens. As a consequence their living is Eoor or their groee' bills are large, oing most of their marketing but once in the j'ear they are generally out of money a considerable portion of the time, and obliged to get in debt for running expenses. During the exist ence of slavery in the South there was a general neglect of all the small in dustries by the large planters. Many of them devoted their farms exclusively to the production of one staple crop, as cotton, rice, sugar-cane, or tobacco. The3 sold evething they produced and had occasion to purchase almost everj'thing they needed for their own use. Having but one crop to market they received mone3- but once during the year. The amount was rarely large enough to last until another crop was matured and sold. Being in debt was the almost universal rule large farmers. among the Dakota has been settled thus far b3' persons who are engaged almost ex clusively in the production of spring wheat. As seasons have been favora ble and prices high since the settlements began, the farmers have been fairly prosperous. It remains to be seen, however, how the3' will prosper when the soil becomes somewhat exhausted of its native fertility and bad seasons occur. In most portions of Texas the raising of cattle and sheep constitutes the leading business. With almost un limited range for stock the business is very profitable. When there are a suf ficient number of animals to devour all the spontaneous productions of the soil, diversified interests will doubtless be come a matter of necessitj-. In fact & variety of agricultural industries is necessarv to sunnort a larere nonulation anywhere. Farmers in the West and South who think there is no money in little things would do well to visit places where small industries constitute the only sources of gain on farms. In the New England States the average farmer does not produce grain sufficient :o feed his family and fatten the stock he raises for the market. Still a large proportion of the farmers are prosper ous. They get a living and often lay up money b3' producing things that tho farmers in the West and South pa3' no attention to. They buy their flour and sometimes their pork, and pay for them by selling eggs. A half acre in straw berries affords money enough to pay the groceiy bills. A few colonies of bees 'ield a good revenue and call for a very small outlay. As much money is realized from poultry as the average Western farmer receives from the bul locks or hogs he sends to market. An asparagus bed, a few hills of pie-plant, a variety of small fruits, and a garden planted to choice vegetables, some of which are started in a hot-bed, supply the family with much of the food re quired during the summer and fall. The great prosperity that prevails in the rural districts of France is almost entirely due to the small industries that nre carried on by farmers. Poultry keeping in the aggregate is the source of a large revenue. Persons of very small means raise rabbits and pigeons for the city markets. The culture of mushrooms is carried on in caves and in cellars and basements of buildings. A great variety of vegetables is pro duced in the gardens, which are tended with great care. Much attention is giv en to producing honey and considerable to the raising of fish. There is some thing to turn off from the farm every week. The amount of money received at any one time is not large, but a little is received very often. Farmers who devote almost their entire attention to the production of a few leading crops would do well to adopt tho practice of those who can not raise these crops at all. By combining small industries with large ones they can scarcely fail to be successful. An old maxim caution us against 4 'putting all our eggs in one basket." It is safer to 3ivide our risks. In most parts of the West and South the number of persons who will engage in the production of the minor crops for fcome time to come will be small. On that account the demand for them will be good. Local markets are rarely sup- Elied with small fruits, fine vegetables-, one' and fresh fish. The latter may be raised to good advantage on farms supplied with springs, ponds and streams. The cost of their production in a good locality is small. Many of the minor industries on Jfarms'c mjw.be. carried on by persons wHcT have norahe strength to perform hard' work. in-ihi fields. Soma of them mav bo . attended to at times when nothingi&be dod j PERSONAL A5D LITERARY. "Europe Through aWoman'sEy" is tho title of a new beok. That beats the "Camel Through a Needle's Eje." Hon. S. A. Davenport of Eric, Pa., has the cases out of which Horace Gree ley set type when he worked on the Erie Gazette. Ex-Governor Stanford, of Califor nia, is a victim to attacks of molan cholia. He never goes out of doors without an attendant Mr. Charles G. Reynolds, the book keeper in the office of the Boston City Treasurer, has held his position for mote than forty veal's. He is now eighty-two ears of age. Boston Post. It is stated that Charles O'Conor, the aged lawyer of New York, is an in veterate and industrious collector of literature relating to love and the fair sex. It is said that he has several thou hand volumes of such books. A Quartermaster in the Michigan militia bears the proud name of William Shakspeare. He has something of, a literary turn, too, though instead of writing plays he de otes his attention to compiling militia manuals and the like. On his way to Yellowstone Park re cently with General Sherman, Chief Justice Waite. of the United States Su preme Court, was thrown from his horse in Montana and rc-cived painful but not alarming injuries. Chicago Journal. John Egglostou. aged seventy-four vears, a li e-long resident of Corinth, S.uatoga County. N. Y.. died a few days s ntv. The deceased never lived a da- out of that town. Ho possessed considerable property, but never was iift miles .limi homo during his long life.- Trot (.V. Y.) Times. Gcn-rd Alfred Aylward, who led the South African Boers in their war with the British, is passing a honeymoon at Nantasket le.ieh, after winning the bride by an elopement The bride was Miss Carrie Yanlloesen, an aristocratic Brooklyn belle, whose parents did not approve of the suit and carried her to Saratoga. The ardent Irishman followed and eloped with her to Boston, where they were married. The couple will live in Australia. A. Y. Herald. The Washington Postboys: The only diplomats lett in Washington the hot-weather diplomats, so to speak are the Chinese. They seem to like the sun they are like sunflowers, whichever way the sun is the- turn their faces. In their gay-colored smock-frocks, panta lets and petticoats of wind-tangling sea grass material, they scud down the ave nue like a feet of junks under full sail, just in time to catch the eleven o'clock sun in their faces, and return to catch it on the other tack." IHDrOROUS. A continued story in an amateur journal opens as follows; "Will you tell me where mv collar-button is?" "Never!" "Then you must die!" AT. 11 Journal. --"Please to give me something, sir?" says an old woman. "I had a blind child; he was my only means of subsist ence, and the poor bo' has recovered his sight!" "Why must we mourn for vanished light?" asks a poet It may be owing to the fact that it has been cut oft at the meter, because of the failure to pay an old gas bill. It sometimes happens that way. Norritown Herald. ? A "sasiely" gusher, in telling where she was going for the summer, said: "I'm going to Newport, and I'm going to take my maid, my nurse, my two dogs, my children, and and, oh, yes, my husband." N. Y. Xcws. Will Wash. I married my wife for her beauty; She married me for my wit. That I got the best of the bargain I'm candid enough to admit. Wit often subsides into drivel. That "beauty soon fndes" is all bosh; Mv wife is to-day at the wash-tub. So I'm certain that beauty will wash. Buffalo News. Plantation Philosophy. Honesty is gettin' scarcer cbery year 'case dare is more people tcr pervide. Pleasures decrease as da come near ua. De fish is a heap bigger 'fore yer gits it outen de water. De injurious in dis worl is allers de fanciest. De brandy-bottle 13 fixed up liner den de bread-tray. A well-fed nigger is de happiest man in de worl'. It doan make no difTence 'bout clothes, but gin him some hog, an' den take care. Arkansaw Traveller. A New York schoolma'am com plains that too much favoritism is shown b3' the school trustees. She says pretty teachers are promoted to the exclusion of their plainer sisters, al though the latter may be more intelli gent. 'Twas ever thus. The pretty teacher is also frequently promoted to the position of wife to the exclusion of the homely teachers and about a year after marriage she wishes she were sin gle and teaching the fourth class in the priinar' department Korrislown Her ald. A friend of mine, who dabbles con siderably in stocks, walked into a well known banking-house the other day, and created considerable excitement by remarking: " I got a pretty good thing when I bought that, last winter, ft was at thirty-four then, and to-da- it stands at ninety-five." "Well, I should snv so," exclaimed the senior partner. " But what stock was it!" " It was a thermometer," coolly replied my friend. It didn't cost the bo3s any thing for lemonade that day. Boston Times. Mrs. W is a character in a certain country village. A few days .ago she met a lad driving a fine load of hay to market. She stopped him, in quired the quality and price of the hay, antl, after much" deliberation, ordered the boy to drive his horse into her yard. The place was rather strait for the wagon to enter, but he finally managed to drive in, and prepared to unload. Looking up to the lad, who, pitclifork in hand, was about to toss of the hay she said, with great simplicity: " You may give me about enough for a hen's nest; I've been wanting it for some time." Detroit Post. Like the Valley or Death. In the gas works at Twenty-third and Filbert streets, Philadelphia", one gets an idea of the valley of death. Hero is the deadly cross-fire like that through which the nonchalant Cardigan gal loped. Two double rows of retorts, that must be heated for forty-eight hours be fore they have the proper temperature for gas-making, stretch clear across the building. In this lane of firemen work. 44 When I come out of there, after twenty-eight minutes' work on my four re torts," said one to the reporter, "I can put my hand on top of my head and feel the blood leaping. I can roll up my sleeves and see it bounding in my veins. For seven or eight minutes aft er that, when I press my hand on my heart as hard as lean, it seems as if the heart would jump through it. lam not a drinking man, and I am a strong one. To those who have that lire without and that wild-fire within, as many of them have, not being able to do their work without stimulants, I can imagine what it must be. I hav on rare occasions and long ago for I have been here four teen years taken a glass of whisky be fore going on. Upon my life, sir, I couldfeel the blood boiling within mi. That ice-water there, of which every man drinks from ten to fifteen quarts a day, positively taates warm until you get two or three cups of it down. That, with oatmeal in it, is the best thing a man can drink." How long do men last at the busi ness saS" 44 Some onlv three or four vears, oth ers five Qr six, a few much longer." JPbkd4jhitt Tim 7- ' 1 -gjBBBjBjBBBjBj1jgBBJBjBS EASTWARD. Dally Express Trali.il tcr Omaha, Cnl cugo, Kanm City, SULoult, aud all points East. Through cars via l'corhi to Indian apoU. Eletfaat Pullman l'ulucu f'ar and Day coaches on all through tralua. and ItiUn;j t ar-i cait of .Missouri Kivcr. Thrmich TickoU c t thsTnirrtt I.atcl bnutfuije wl'l 1m Lheckn.1 1 ilst:natinii. Any .will b: ohm rfully t urnislu-d uiou nHhetttioii OTIOE Chicago Weekly News. -AND SOLtJUBtfS, HSB, JOURNAL FOR $2.50 a Year Postage Included. The OHIOAGO WEEKLY NEWS is recognized as a paper unsurpassed in all the requirements of America! Journalism. It stands conspicuous among the metropolitan journals of the country as a complete News-paper. In the matter of telegraphic service, having the advantage of connection with the CHICAGO DAILY NEWS, it has at its com mand all the dispatches of the Western Associated Press, besides a very extensive service of Special Telegrams from all important points. As a News-paper it has no supe rior. It is INDEPENDENT in Politics, presenting all political news, free from partisan bias or coloring, and absolutely without fear or favor as to parties. It is, in the fullest sense, a FAMILY PAPEE. Each issue contains several COM PLETED STORIES, a SERIAL STORY of absorbing interest, and a rich variety of condensed notes on Fashions, Art, Indus tries, Literature, Science, etc., etc. Its Market Quotations are complete, and to be relied upon. It is unsurpassed as an enterprising, pure, and trustworthy GENERAL FAMILY NEWSPAPER. Our special Clubbing Terms bring it within the reach of all. Specimen copies may be seen at this officer Send subscriptions to this office. 1870. 1883. THE (almf(bus journal It conducted as a FAMILY NEWSPAPER, Devoted to the best mutual inter. eHts of itB readers and it publish, era. Published at Columbus, Platte county, the centre of the agricul tural portion ofXebraska.it it read by hundreds of people cant who are looking towards Nebraska as their fnture home. Its subscribers in Nebraska are the staunch, solid portion of the community, as is evidenced by the fact that the Jouknal has never contained a "dun" against them, and by the other fact that ADVERTISING In its columns always brings its reward. Business is business, and those who wish to reach the solid people of Central Nebraska will 11 ud the columns of the Journal a splendid medium. JOB WORK Of all kinds neatl" and quickly done, at fair prices. This species of printing is nearly always want ed in a hurry, and, knowing this fact, we have so provided for it that we can furnish envelopes, let ter heads, bill heads, circulars, posters, etc., etc., on very short notice, and prompt)- on time as we promise. SUBSCRIPTION. I copv per annum $200 " " Six months 100 " Three months, f0 Single copy sent to any address in the United States for S cts. M. K. TTTBKER ft CO., Columbus, Nebraska. EVERYBODY Can now afford A CHICAGO DAILY. THE CHICAGO HERALD, All the News every day on four large pages of seven columns each. The Hon. Frank VT. Palmer (Postmaster of Chi cago), Editor-in-Chief. A Republican Daily for $5 per Year, Three mouths, $1.50. One mouth on trial 50 ccntc. CHICAGO "WEEKLY HERALD" Acknowledged by everybody who has read it to be the best eight-page paper ever published, at the low price of II PER TEAR, Postage Free. Contains correct market reports, all the new, and general reading interest, ing to the farmer and bis family. Special terms to agents and clubs. Sample Copies free. Address, CHICAGO HERALD COMP'Y 120 and 122 FiftI1-.1v., -JO-tf CHICAGO. ILL LYON&HEALY A Mesree St..CBicfe- WM Nrtiniill Mu; tiiimm U 1 NO CATAUWJUU1 a. 0 unl 110 Caen iHlnuiK, S.IH, Cf. BtlU, l uuHik (As-uant S.mdry u4 Oilla, XaptHaff TWwfa V.lar. 91s. am AmwiMt Buh M iMiKiMiiintBnH. (CtelaKulHok, . . .sKslS State AJA BBSS AMftsEhafc wmmvAiun Daily Express Trains foe Denver, con necting in Union Depot for all points la Colorado, Utah, California, and the entire West. Tho advent otthU line gnesthatra v elor a New Koute to tile Went, with sconory and advantage unequalled elsewhere. aro on sals at all tho Important station, and information as to rates, routttn or tinio tubles to any ntfout. cr to 1. S. i:u.STLS. Gvurral Ticket Ascot. Omaha. Neb. THE- Special Announcement! SEDUCTION IN PEICE. "We offer the Jouknal in combination with the American Agriculturist, the best farmers' magazine in the world, for 93 u year, which includes postage on both. IN ADDITION, we will sendree to e ery person who tjke both papers, a .Magniliient Plate Engraving of DUPItE'.S last Great Painting, "I THE .TIEA non'i" nw on exhibition in New York, and otrered for sale at $.7,000. Tne eminent Artist, Y. S. CIIUUCH, writing t a friend in the country la&t October. thu alludei to thi Picture: " I wa delighted this morning to ee offered as a Premium a reproduction of a very beautiful Picture, " I" TIIK 'lEADOWMiy Dupre. This Picture is an Educator " This superb engraing 17K by 12 inches, exclusive of wide border, is worth more than the cost of both Journals. It is mounted on heavy Plate Paper, and sent securely packed in Tubes made expressly for the purpose. When to be mailed, 10 cents extra is riMpiired for Packing, Post age, etc. 23TSubscriptions may begin at any time, and the Agriculturist furnished in German or English. D YOU WANT THE BEST Illustrated Weekly Paper Ll published ? If so, sub- scribe for Tk Weekly Orapkie It contains four page of illustrations and eight pages of reading matter. It is terse. It is vigorous. It is clean and healthy. It gives all the news. Its home department is full of choice literature. Farming interests receive spe cial and regular attention. It treats inde pendently of politics and affairs. During the year it give over 200 pages of illustra tions, embracing every variety of subject, from the choicest art production to the customs, manners and noteworthy incidents and everyday scenes of every people ; and Cartoons upon events, men and measures. Try it a year, subscription price $2.50 a year. Sample copies and terms to agents, 5 cents. Address THE WEEKLY GRAPHIC, 182 k 184 Durborn Stiieet, Chicaoo. We offer Tho "Weekly Graphic in Olub with The Columbus Journal For $:t.!)0 a year in advance. LUERS & HOEFELMANN, DKALKKS IM WIND MILLS, AND PUMPS. Buckeye Mower, combined, Self Binder, wire or twine. Pomps Repaired on short notice J3"One door west or HeiuU's Drug Store, 11th Street, Columbus, Neb. 8 REST not, life is sweeping by, go and dare before you die. something mlrrhtv and vulilim If .-iv (..;.. I coiwiuer time. ?C0 a week in your own wn. $3 outfit free. No risk. Every thing new. Capital not required. Ave will furnish you everything. Many are making fortunes. Ladies make a much as men, and hoys and girls make great pay. Reader, if you want business at which you can make great pav all the time, write for particulars to H. IIallett &. Co.. Portland, 3Iaine. 31-y home bv the Best busiries-. public. Capital Wn trill ..... VOU. Men. women, limw iml triple .... ed everywhere to work for us. Now is the time. You can work in spare time.or give your whole time to the business. No other business will pay you nearly as well. No one can fail to make enormous pay, by engaging at once. Costly outfit and terms free. Money made fast, easily and honorably. Address Tbuk & Co., Augusta, Maine. 3i.y. hWft A week made at 2K Ijf. industrious. i eV now before the tint neprioi! V X "" in the helQ.7Lhcago
