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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 26, 1883)
KATES OF AIHEKTIMIfG.
ISSUED EVERY WEPXESDAY,
"M. El. TTJttlsttR Sc CO.,
Proorietors and Publishers.
STBnsinesa and professional cards
of five lines or less, per annum, five
237 For time advertisements, apply
at this office.
"2TIgal advertisements at statue
BTor transient advertising, see
rates on third page.
STAH advertisements payable
S3-OFFICE. Eleventh St., up stairs
in Journal Building.
VOL. XIY.-NO. 22.
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 26, 1883.
WHOLE NO. 698.
i BUSINESS CABDB.
r T. WOOD, 2tt. -.
grfig. opened the office
cupied by Dr. Boneiteel.
f rmerlv oc-19-3m.
Thirteenth St.. and Nebraska Ave.,
over Friedliof store.
ZZTOBice no'urs. to 12 a.m.; lto.lp. m.
OLLA ASHBACGH, Dentist.
IS Ac SLiXIVAX,
.1 TTOBXEYS-A J -LA W,
Up-stair in (ilueV Building, 1Kb street.
Above the New hank.
ith Street. 2 doors wrt of Hammond House,
'-piITCltSTO.'N A: POWERS
r EER A: REEOEK,
ATTOBXF.Y AT LA W
(,. A. HILLHOR-T, A.M., 31. D.,
3TTw.. IJlo.k- -outh of ourt
'I'. JHM. Elt,
-Will tak.- i-outraet- foi-
BricklaviHg, Plastering, Stonework,
JSTattn'arti auarant'ed. or n pat.
V. A. MACKEN,
Porters, A les.
Olne strtre:. next t
Firt National Bank.
.1 TTORXi: YS A T LA TJ
Ollie- u.-tairi in
inc. 11th M. AV. A.
a. j:. cowdery.
4 "... TVWV .
MACPAlLbAND & COWDERT.
52J- amazt . house and sign pamtini;,
elazing. paper hancin::. Kalsoniinmg. etc.
done to crdt-r. shop on loth t.. opposite
Engine Houi-. t olumbu.v Neb. !-
llth St.. opposte Lin dellHotel.
Sell Harne. Saddles. Collar. "Whip-.
Blankets, lurrv ( oxnb. Bruihe.. trunks,
valises. tiugiT- tons, ou-hions. earnaire
TT-irrT,i in( -. u' Thp l.wer nnitilf '
prires. Repairs pr- mptl attended to.
IReal Estate sreiit,
Genoa Nance Co.. Neb.
"VTT1LI LANI and improved farm?
V for sale. orrespondener solicit
ed. Office il Youuj'- building, up-stairs.
o. c. SHiAJsrrosr,
Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware !
Job-Work, "Roofing and Gutter
ing a Specialty.
23r"5hot ol EIMeutn trt-et. opposite
Hemtz's liru sion . -"
LAXD AXIt JXSLHAXCE A GEXT,
His lands comprint somt line tracts
in the shell creek Vallev. and the north
ern portion !: PI tt- county. Taxes
paid for non-residents. satisfaction
iru&ranteed. i" v
COL U3TB US, - XP.B.,
Packers and Dealers in all kind of Ho?
product. cah paid for Live or Dead Hoes
Directors. K. H Henry. Prest.: John
"Wigrius. sci and Treas.: L. Gerrard, S.
"VOTICE TO TEACHERS.
J. E. Moncrief, Co. Snpt.,
Will be in his office at the Court House
on the third Saturday of each
month for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, and
forthe transaction of any other business
pertaining to schools. 5CT-t
TRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plan- and estimates supplied for either
frame or brick building. Good work
euaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near
St. Paul Lumber Yard. Columbus. Ne
braska. 52 6mo.
Liverv and Feed Stable.
Is prepared to furnish the public w;'th
good teams, bugcies and carriages for all
occasions, especiallv for funerals. Alo
conducts a sale stable. 44
D.T. Maettx. M. D. F. Schug. M. D.,
Dte. MaILTYK & SCHTJG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons,
Local Surgeons. Union Pacific and
COLUMBUS. - NEBRASKA.
Suztzizn:: 3sm:i J
D I HECTORS:
Leaxdeu Gerkakd. Pres'i.
Geo. W. Hulst, Vice' Pres'i.
Julius A'. Reed.
Edward A. Geekard.
Absek Thestek, Cashier.
k or lepoii.
Collection Promptly Made on
Imieret on Time
DREBERT & BRIGGLE.
SSTPrompt attention given to Col
lections 'Insurance, Real Estate. Loan.
Eleventh Street, oppo
Ha on hand a lull assortment of
CROCKERY & GLASSWARE,
Pipes, Cigars and Tobacco.
IIishet prife paid for t ountry Produce.
Uoods delivered in citv.
GIVE ZVLE A CALL!
All kinds of Repairing done on
Short Notice, buggies, Wag
ons, etc, made to order,
and all work Guar
anteed. Also sell the world-famous Walter A.
Wood Mowers. "Reapers, Combin
ed Machines, Harvesters,
and Self-binders the
Shop opposite the " Tattersall." Ol
ive St., COLU3IBUS. --Cm-.-
H. "LITERS & CO.
n Brick Shop oppoit Helnti's Drur .store.
ALL KINDS OF WOOD AND IRON WORK
WAGONS AND BUGGIES DONE
ON SHORT NOTICE.
S. J. MARMOT, Prop'r.
Nebraska Ave., South of Depot,
A new house, newly furnished. Good
accommodations. Board by day or
week at reasonable rate.
STStst si Firwi-Clas Table.
.25 Cts. Lodrinirs
3S-2tf " ""
people are always on the
lookout for chances to
increase their earnings,
and in time become
wealthy; those who do not improve their
opportunities remain in p"overtv. VTe
offer a preat chance to make monev. TTe
want many men, women, boys and girls
to work for us right in their own localities
Any one can dothe work properlv from
the first start. The ''usiness will pav
1 more than ten times ordinarv wares. Ex
pensive outnt furnished. 2o one who
engases fails to make money rapidly. You
can devote your whole time to the" work,
or only your spare moments. Full infor
mation and all that is needed sent free.
Address Sxrxsox & Co.. Portland, Elaine.
S. MURDOCK & SOX,
Carpenters and Contractors.
Have had an extended experience, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give ns an oppor
tunitytoestinateforyorn. 3JSbop' on
13th Stone door west of Friedhof &
Cos. store, Colmabns, Jsebr. 4fc3-y
National Bank !
OFFICERS XD DIRECTORS.
A. ANDERSON. Preset.
SAil'L C. SMITH. Vic Pres't.
u. T. ROEX. Cashier.
.1. V.'. EARLY,
W. A. MCALLISTER,
Foreign and Inland Exchange, 1'aisasre
Tickets, Ri'ril Estate. Loan ana Insurance.
fiork Spring L'oa! S7.00 per Ion
CHrbon (Wyoming) Coal u.Ol)
Eldon ilowa ConI 150 "
Blacksmith Coal of best quality
ways on hand at low
NoTth Side Eie1111 st-
BECKER & WELCH.
SHELL CREEK MILLS.
MANUFACTURER:- AND WHOLE
SALE 1EALER IN
FLOUR AND MEAL.
O FFICB, COL UATIi US. XEB.
SPE1CE & NORTH,
General Agents for the Sale of
Union Pacitic. and 31idland Pacilic j
R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to J10.00 j
per acre for cash, or on nve or ten years !
time, in annual payments to suit" pur-
chasers. "We have also a larce and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, for sale at low price and ;
on reasonable terms. Also business and ;
residence lots in the city. We keep a j
complete abstract of title to all real es-j
tate in Platte County.
CLTY PROPERTY POR SALE.
Union Pacfic Land Office,
On Long Time and low rate
AH wishing to buy Rail Road Lands
or Improved Farms will find it to their '
advantage to call at the U. P. Land
Office before lookin elsewhere as I ;
make a specialty of buying and selling I
lands on commission; all persons wish
ing to sell farms or unimproved land '
wilbnnd it to their advantage to leave j
their lands with me for sale, as my fa. ;
cilities for affecting sale? are unsur- !
passed. I am prepared to make final
proof for all parties wishing to get a
patent for their homesteads. '
JSK. W. Ott, Clerk, writes and l
SAMUEL C. SMITH, i
Agt. TJ. P. Land Department. I
C21-y COLUMBUS, XEB.
COFFINS AND METALLIC CASES
Furniture, Chairs, Bedsteads, Bu
reaus. Tables. Safes. Lounges,
&c. Picture Frames and
THepairiag of all kinds of Upholstery
TEE GL0BI0U8 DAYS OF COLD.
I remember. I remember.
My boyhood's blizzard blbrht;
The broken window where the snow
Cam- drifting in at nsrht-
It came whene'er the are was out,
When ma had pone away:
But now I wish that icy ni?ht
Would come again to stay.
I remember. 1 remember,
Tne nose red and white.
The frozen ears that tingled so
Oh! what a cooling sight!
The show-bouse that my brother built.
And where I used to lie
Until my bones were quite congealed
Oh. would it now were nigh:
I remember. I remember.
Where 1 was wont to state:
The pond was smooth as glist'ning glass
Whereon I broke my pate.
My buoyant spirit, then so light.
Is hot and heavy now.
And summer's pool can no more cool
The fever on my brow.
I remember. I remember.
The cold and icy church;
I used to think the minister
Would freeze fast to his perch.
Those frigid days have passed away.
And now 'tis little joy
To feel that I'm much nearer heat.
Than when I was a bov.
A", Y. Mammy Journal.
COUSLX TOM'S WEDDING.
It was to be in the church, with mu
sic and flowers, and my brothel Claude
and I were to walk up'the middle aisle
and lead the procession.
"Now vou must both out on vour best
behavior, saidmother.afterwehadwor- bnt not verv bad onlv he can,t 3tand
ried ourselves mto our new clothes on , up ion2. en6ugh to be'married vet. and
the all-important night; then she kissed , But I'll take vou to him right
us just as if we d been aomg to bed, and j awav "
sent us off to the churcn an hour before , Well, she didn't scream nor sav she
the time. , was going to faint, but just held "on to
We found the sexton just opening the . mv hand tighu and Iet e Iead her t
doors and he let u go round with him , in the dark We found Claude on the
while he lighted up. and then I pro-1 sidewalk, holdinir the door of the car
posed tnat we should stand outside and naire ouen. aild ordering the coachman
watch the people come. (wBo looked a if he thought we were
-IwonderuCousmTom feels nerv- elODing with the bride to 3rive to the
ous. said Claude, as we walked down , g ftore. We all three got in. and
the steps under the awning. "Ishouldn t were off before the people in the church
think he would, though, tor you know , had a chance to thmk anvthilJfr else
doctors But I sav. Ben, what s the . h.,r .J,., ,ini-n ;. i.:. .uu u.i
matter down the street there? See all
that crowd? Let's run and find out."
"Come on." I cried: "I'll beat vou
there," and forgetting all about ourgood
uiuLiics auu uesi utiuswur, we uom
staned ofl down the biock.
"Oh. somebody's been run over, or
something!" I exclaimed, as 1 won the
race and found a lot of people bendinc
over the form of a man lving on the
grass in front of the Baptist Church.
We both stood still for a minute, and
I was trying to listen to what a gentle
man next to me was telling a policeman,
when Claude pulled me by the sleeve
and whispered that it might be the verv
case cousin loin, wno bad just STadu
ated at the Medical School, was waiting
"Let's tell him all about it!" -I cried.
"Quick, before they get somebody else:"
and then we both tore off to his lodg
ings, around the corner, and pulled the
bell as if the house was atire.
I tell you, the girl came to the door
m a hurry, and without waiting for her
r annniin n. . li'.i rvit.-ii .-...-.&
CoiiMP Tom , room, and rushed m to
ftndhmi just putting on his white satin
.., j i . i . , . ,
wu uuuuuu-uu.ck. euom i-Hiny
suuuicu. ouui a
Wliy. boy.-, what's the matter?" he
exclaimed, makinir muddle of his cra-
vat. "Has Alice iainted. or the dress
maker forrotten to endher dress home,
"Xo, no." cried Claude. "There's a
man hurt, and an awful crowd, and "
"Quick, how far from here?" inter
rupted Cousin Tom. leaving the two
pri(J nf Hi ti hnnrinrr orw cnntnli?nn.
. .p -T'"!r' "" JU""";"'s
ms pea-jacKei. "i can spare just
"Why. it's only around the corner, in
front "of the "Baptist Church." I
replied, dancing around the room in
great excitement: and then we all three
"Where is he. boys?" cried Cousin
Tom. and Claude pointed inside the
railing that ran in front of the church,
and against which, strange to say. no
bodv was leaning.
Then, not waiting t hunt up the
gate, our cousin, who was a trreat stra- j
ping fellow, shouldered his way through
the crowd, and without paying anv j
attention to the efforts some of the !
people made to hold him back, he '
placed his hand on the top rail of the '
fence to vault over. !
The next instant he gave a spring
backward instead of forward, ancf fell
against Claude, who. of course fell '
asrainst me. and we all three went
down one after another like a row of ,
bricks, while the nnil pt mi snoK n !
veil that you misht have thought thev !
had all turned into wild Indians on the
war-path. Being boys, and quite used
to hard knock-C neither Claude nor I
wa hurt, and we sprang up as livelv
as ever when Cousin Tom was lifted oil
of us. But there was not much spring
about him. and we were awiully frich?
ened when we found that he couldn't
Then they explained the whole thin
to us. which was something like this:
there was an electric lightin front of
the store next the church, and in some
way the stuff the electric nuid or what
ever it is had got off' the track, or the
wires, and run into the fence, and so
whoever touched it got a most tremen
dous shock. That was what was the
matter with the man inside, and the
crowd had tried to warn Cousin Tom.
but he was too excited about o-etrin"- an i
interesting case to listen. '
"Oh. if he's killed, it' all our fault '
for telline him about it!" moaned
"And he was going to be married in
half an hour." 1 added, despairinglv.
"And Miss Lord'll be in the church
waiting for him. and when he don't
come she mav have ftt or snmPtfciTirT
and oh, Claude, how can we tell her?" !
Bv this time thev had ninkprl Prmcin
ed Cousin '
Tom up and carried him into a dnif ' oIutlon- I think he is the best Consul
store a few doors off. They told as he ! . service of the Government. You
was only stunned, and would probablv i 3ut"ge. therefore, whether the re
be able to sit up in the course of half moval of such a Consul is not calculated
an hour. As he hadn't lived in town a to occasion regret." When he finished,
week yet, nobody in the crowd knew ; wIl'"e. ne stood looking at me with the
who he was. and so the burden of car- ! P611 n k"3 band. I delibcratelv tore the
rying the dreadful knewsto the weddinc '
partv fell upon Claude and me.
"It's five minutes to eiht now." sn.
nounced mv brotner. nervouslv. as hav
ing left word with the druggist that we
would soon be back with friends and a
carriage, we hurried off to the Episcopal ' me to interest myself, but by the apnli
Chnrcn. "Cousin Tom was to be in ' c&nl nimself. From Thurlow Weed's
the vestry by this time, and, oh my! Autobiography.
won't it be awful to have Miss Lord --
walk up the aisle on her father's arm, Felix, the man-milliner rival of
and then find nobody to marry her?" ' Worth. made twentv-five visirino-
"But. Claude." I proposed, a bright dresses, twentv-five ball dresses, twenty
idea suddenly striking me. "if we can .morning and" five o'clock dresses and
only get to the church soon enough to 1 undresses too numerous to count, for
see her drive up. we can tell her then, j Miss Murphv, the California heiress,
and have the coachman keep rieht on I who recentlv married Lord Wolseley, in
to the drug store." " (England.
"The very thing!" cried Claude. ; -.
"Let's run for it." ; a nnp.lTni -mon Toik. n
And run we did. but. alas! arrived at
the church just in rime to seethe bride's I
carriage drive away from the awning
We could hear the organ playing and
the people whispering that the proces
sion would soon begin to move toward
"Oh. why don't they make sure Cous
in Tom's here first?'" I exclaimed, in
"Perhaps they will, returned Claude.
at any rate tney ougnt io wait tor us
to lead off; but, stop.Tve got a plan,
and though it's a kind of desperate
one, it 'if save Miss Lord having a
scene before everybody. I'll " and
he spoke the rest verv softlv in mv ear.
"Why, Claude, dare you"? I cried,
under mv breath. "And do vou know
how to do it?"
"Yes, I noticed the place when we
were in here with the sexton. Now do
you think you can get up close to Miss
Lord before I count twenty slowly?"
I nodded and hurried into the church,
leaving Claude to take up his station in
a dark corner of the vestibule. The
procession was evidently waiting for
us, and as fast as I could I squeezed a
wav through the crowd to take mv place
in front ofthe bride. She smiled when
she cauehr sight of me, and put out her
hand. Then just as 1 took it even- light
in the church went out. and 1 knew
Claude had succeeded in his plan of
turning off the gas.
"Don't be frfehtened. Miss Lord." I
whispered, still keeping hold of her
hand, "but come out with me to the
PrtrHflorA hwrtqnco f"Vmci TViyt, l,,..
so suddenlv been plunsred.
But but did the electric fluid put
out the lfcrhts in church?" asked Mis?
after we had explained to her
1 about Cousin Tom's shock.
' "Oh no: I turned off the eras." said
i Claude, promptly. "Don't "you think
it was a good way to keep people from
staring at you and jrossipintr when thev
found the groom didn't come?"
"Yea. I see now, and I am sure I am
very much obliged for your thoushtful
ness: but what will papa and mamma
think has become of "me?"
"That? so!" I exclaimed. "We for
got all about that pan of it. Stop the
, ojd. aSd found the church lighted up
i camaee. and 111 run back: which I
a Digger crowd than ever inside.
and Air. and Airs. Lord rushing about
in even' direction in search of their
I was a little frightened at first, but
remembering how much the bride had
been spared by our plan, I walked bold-
v up to the "distracted parents, and
. irksome time, but I told the storv as
qnictail Could. and I had scafcelv
J:.i.,j ...i . . ., . -
i ""iaueu. ivuL'a uacK. caiue tne
With Cousin Tom and 31Us Lord
i in it.
I jumped as if I had -een a ghost, and
indeed Tom looked like one. but de
clared that he was every bit strong
enough to go through with the cere
mony. Miss Lord was already in her
mother's arms, anil I was awfully
afraid we'd have a scene, after all. but
luckily everybody thought it was be
cause the as had crone out. and in ten
! . c,t
i minutes thev were
safelv married, and
nobody out of the family the wiser.
Bartcr. Young People.
How Thurlow Weed Secnred an Ap
pointment. In 1SG1 a number of New York mer
chants asked Mr. Weed to secure a
Consular appointment for a veteran
clerk a real "Tim Llnkinwater" who,
being an Englishman, wanted to r
home to end his days there. He says:
Mr. Seward requested hL- son Fred
erick, the Assistant Secretary, to find a
place for him. I went to "the depart
ment with Frederick, and in looking
over his Consular register carefully. h
eye finally rested on" Falmouth, where
upon examination he found that the
Consul wa. an Englishman, and had
held the office more than twenty vears.
It wa decided, therefore, that bne En
glishman should give place to another,
that other being an Americanized
Englishman. I reported, thi determin-
ftiou to the Secretary, who immediate-
lv sent mv inend s name to the Presi
dent: and when the messenger returned
with Mr. Lincoln's approval. Mr. Hun
ter, the chief clerk, was directed to fill
up the commission and obtain the Presi
dent's signature in time for me to take
it to New York that afternoon. Between
four and live o'clock p. m. I went to
Mr. Hunter for the commission, which
lay before him on his desk. He rose
somewhat deliberately (as is his man
ner), took the commission jn his hand
and delivered it to me without speak
ing, but with evident reluctance. 1
said; "Is it all right, Mr. Hunter?"
He replied: "I have obeyed orders."
"But." I added, "you do not seem
pleased. Is there anything wron"
about the appointment?" ""I have
nothing to sav about the appointment.
but L faave aeTer dischanred a dutv since
l came mto uQ Department with
so much regret." He said: "The first
commission that I hlled out when T
1 came into office twenty-six years a-o
f was for Mr. Fox, our" counsel at Fal
i mouth, who succeeded his then recentlv
deceased father, who received his ap
1 pointment from President Washington.
Tne Consular accounts of Mr. Tax r
as neatly and accurately kept as those
ot "-,eneral V ashington during the Rev-
commission into strips, threw them into
the waste-paper basket, and left rli
department for the cars- When I ex
plained in 2sew York hat had occurred
at Washington it -vvas approved, not
only by the gentleman who had asked
Georgia, is attracing much attenion at
, - - T-o-" ?"" " -"". vi"i..
Augusta, Ga., bv Ins pereformances
one foot. He walks a wire rope, dancer
jigs and. hops n mile in thirteen min
utes. Louisville Courier-Jourwi
An old man not ragged, but clad in
old -and faded and time-worn garments,
and moving with feeble steps and
weary air sat down under a tree on
John R. street the other day to rest a
bit. Three or four children were plav
ing in the yard at his back, and directly
a mite of a girl looked through the
fence and asked:
"Would vou hurt a little girl?"
"Bless me, no!" he replied.
I'd even step aside to pass a bug or a
worm! No, child, I wouldn't Hurt a
hair of your head for all the money in
"Are you anybody's grandpa?' she
inquired" as the other chiidrencrowded
"No not now, child. There was a
time dear me! but it hurts my old
heart to remember it when children
called me grandpa. It was years ago
years and years, but I can almost
hear their voices yet."
"Be you crying?"
"N-no. The tears will spring up as
I recall the past, but I'm not crying.
There are days when I can't keep 'em
back nights when I am a chilu. but
Fm tryiuir to be strong just now."
"I guess I'll come out and see you.
My doll's broke her neck and is most
"Come right along, child! I used to
mend legs and arnis and necks when
the children brought their dolls to me."
The little one passed through the
gate and sat down beside the poor old
man. and while he sought to save the
life of the "most dead" doll by means
of a stick and a string the child ob- j
"You must be quite, old, grandpa;
you are all skin and bone."
"Old? Bless you. yes! I was eighty
one only a week or two ago. Yes, I'm
poor in desh as well as in purse."
"So vour grand-children had dolLj,
"Yes. dear dolls and toys and fine
clothes and books and everything they
wanted. 1 was rich then." "
"And did thev comb vour hair?"
"And sine: to vou?"
"Yes." "" '
"Well. I guess I'll sin? you a soncr.
for I'm going tQ ask ma ifl'can't adopt
you as my grandpa. You must excuse
my voice, for 1 swallowed a pin the
other day and ma expects it to work
out of my shoulder this fall. I guess
I'll sing about the three little graves.
Don't look at me or I shall forget."
And in a voice full of childish quavers.
and trequently stopping a if to swal
low some of the words she sunir:
''Under an elm thrtrr little craves
Under the sod my children three:
The years may pas. but my heart will grieve
And sorrow vclll ever rest wiih me.
"Under the elm I walked to-day.
I looted ."
"Why, grandpa, the tears are just
running down your cheeks!"
"Y-yes, child I can't help it! My
poor old life is full of graves and
"Is your wife dead?"
"Long ago. child."
"And all the children?"
"Dead or scattered. I am all alone."
"Well, that's funny. You can wipe
your eyes on my apron, if you want to!"
"Here's your doll good as new."
"Inat s nice. It I should adopt you
I'd keep you mending dolls all "the
time. Have vou nrot over crvin?"
"Yes. child." "
"Well, tiien. you must be hunirry.
I'm always hungry after a sood crv.
Wait a minute."
She ran into the house to return with
a generous slice of bread and butter
and a piece of meat, and as she handed
the food to the old man she said:
"I've grot to ro in now. but we'll re
member that I've adopted you as mv
grandpa. Don't cry any more, anil
come back to-morrow. Good-bv,
And men who passed by saw an old
man with his fa?e in his hands to hide
his tears, and when they asked the
matter, a child who stood by explained:
"Why. sir. he's crying because he's
all alone in the world, and a little girl
has adopted him!" Detroit Free Press.
Fair Woman's Latest Accomplishment.
A train on the Fitchburg Railroad was
just pulling out of Cambridge. Mass.,
at the rate of about twelve miles an
hour, when a woman apparentlv about
a quarter of a century in years grace
ful, pretty and charming, said in a
healthy tbne: "Is this Cambridge?"
A nod from the interrogated partv in
the affirmative caused the fair one to
jump from her seat and rush to the rear
end of the car. The men were startled
and one or two ancient relics of the
feminine gender uttered a consumptive
shriek as the belated passenger reached
the platform, and both men and women
rose in their seats all expecting that the
excited beauty would alight from the
moving train and go through a series of
gyrations which should put to shame a
Fourth of July pinwheel after it came
off the barn door and was so'rng it
through the grass on its own responsi
bility. But in this all were mistaken.
She did nothing of the sort: she grasped
the guard rail with one hand, sent one
one dandy little foot earthward, poised
for a moment, and then swung off" that
train in a manner that would have
made the brakeman on the head end of
a iocal freight train pale with envy.
ine ague young lanv landed and kept
right side up. raised her parasol, and
with a saucy toss of iier h'ead, walked
towards the depot, proud in an achieve
ment heretofore never dreamed of bvher
sex. Boston Herald.
Season for Xews.'
Talk about "the dull season for
news!" There was once, but now is no
more. All the news centers of the
world are tapped by the telegrapjiic
wires. The ticking of the instrument
is unceasing. Newspaper men. like
race-horses, appear to go faster in hot
weather than at any other time. In
every well-regulated office in the coun
try, in the small hours every night, a
cross kind of man. called a manain
editor, goes around with a big club
knocking off" "heads." knocking out
"columns" and squeezing up the paper
so it can buckle its belly-band for a red
hot run through the press to catch the
first morning train. O. no, thank you.
The man who was constantly comin
around asting: "Don't you want some
thing with which to fill up your paper?"
Was shot down stairs long ago. Cincin
nati Commercial Gazette.
The recent explosion of several
soda fountains and the poisonin" of a
hundred people from eating ice cream,
has been a regular bonanza to a multi
tude of nice young men. If the scare
runs through the season a good many of
them could take tree claims in Dakota
and have money to lend. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The "White. ElephaBt" let WUfe
A low wall rising behind the Palace
of Justice inclosed the royal gardens
and the palace occupied by the King.
We moved several hundredyards away
to the, left, followed by several curious
Burmese soldiers andpalace officials,
and stopped in front of a huge teak
building, at the large open doorway of
which paced half a dozen sentries.
Signor Andreino whispered that this
was the white elephant's palace. At
last! Here I was. then, on the very
threshold of an edifice containing one
of the most famous animals in the world
a beast so remarkable that sober-sided
occidentals did not credit its existence.
Andreino spoke to the captain of the
guard, tipped him slyly some buck
sheesh. and he motioned us in silence
to enter. I now found myself in a large
and lofty hall. The roof was elaborately
carved teak and the floor consisted of
hard-pressed earth. On the walls were
hung green, yellow, white and blue
standards, golden shields and sigantio
basins and vessels of a thousand fantas
tic shapes. Hero and there upon the
floor gold and silver vessels were strewn
in careless profusion. "There stands
the lord and owner of all this magnifi
cence," said Signor Andreino, as he
pointed to the center of the floor. The
white elephant! There he stood, chained
heavily to stakes planted in the ground.
Was he all my fancy painted him? By
no means. The great sacred white ele
phant was a slaty-covered, wicked-looking
brute, without a patch of that
snowy whiteness which I had associated
with him as much as the Doe of Ryl
stone. His trunk, with which he was
viciously tossing bundle of hay over
his back, was mottled with flesh-colored
leprous-looking spots: his eyes were
small, slat -gray and ablaze "with sup
pressed hre. his ears were mottled in
the same curious way as his .trunk, and
his body, as I have said, was a dark
slaty-gray. A Burmese, stripped to the
waist, was vigorously rubbing the great
brutes hide with something that looked
like a brick. Could it be possible3 He
was actually pumice-stoning his sacred
majesty! I have no doubt whatever
that constant pumice-stoning had pro
duced the slaty color, and I should not
wonder if the whole hide by this time is
not much thicker than a dime.
Turning to the Italian I expressed my
disappointment at not seeing a genuine
white elephant, as 1 had expected, and
he counseled me that it would be wise
to affect an admiration for the brute,
because already there were gathered at
the doorway a number of sulleu-looking
Burmese. I walked round and round
"his Majesty." pretending to be aston
ished, which I was. As for him he kept
following me with his piercing little
gray eyes and penduluming hi trunk in
anything but an amiable fashion. I was
to him evidently as much of a curiosity
as he was to me. only he would have
liked to smash up the curiosity. I asked
Signor Andreino to say to the pumice
stoning attendant, in a jocular way. of
course, that the sacred beast was not
white after all. Suspending his pumice
stoning for an instant and drawing him
self up to his full height, the Burmese
replied with creat dignity: "The King
says it is!" That settled it. Tne King
said the white elephant was white and
nobody else uad a word to say. if the
King had said it was pea-nven. sky
blue or magenta it would have been all
the same. Philadelphia Times.
Convicts Exchange Personalties.
One of the queerest cases on record
developed itself to-day. Policeman
Garham yesterday took a captured con
vict to Huntsville penitentiary and re
turned to the officers there. This morn
ing Garham. having nothing to do,
thought he would call up George Ha
selmeyer, who had been sentenced at
the last term of the Harris County
Court to seventeen years in the peni
tentiarv for horse-stealinjr. Garham
knew Hasselmever. so when the con
vict who answered to that name was
brought up he was astonished to find
that it wa-s not the same person who
had been sentenced under that name.
The penitentiary Warden insisted that
it was the only Hasselmeycr confined
in the penitentiary, whereupon the con
vie;, seeing that further concealment
was useless, made a comession. it
seems that James Kennon, who was
sentenced at the same term of court as
Ha-selmeyer to three years, and Has
selmeyer were chained together, and
on the way to Huntsville Hasselmeer
made the as.tounding proposition to
Kennon that they should change names
and terms. Hasselmeyer offering Ken
non $1,000 to work his seventeenyears'
sentence, while he should work the
three ears' sentence of Kennon. Ken
non accepted the projosition. When
Hasselraeyer's name was called at the
penitentiary and he was told to register
Kennon stepped forward and declared
that he wa the man. As neither the
Warden nor the guard who brought the
convicts to Huntsville knew the names
of the men the ruse was completely
successful, and had it not been for the
mere ehance of Garham asking to see
Hasselmeyer, whom he happened to
know, i: is something that might hap
pen at any rime, and yet none of the
officers would be anywiser, as they are
not supposed to know the convicts per
sonally until after tiey are registered
at the penitentiary. Hasselmeyer was
found on a convict plantation working
! under the name of Kennon. He had
been working outside of the walls, as
short-term prisoners are not so closely
confined and guarded as are those in
for a long term. Houston Tex.) Special
to Jit. Louis Globe-Democrat.
A. Russian Solomon.
The St. Petersburg Herald relates
that recently in a South Russian village
a peasant was accused of a theft. The
culprit kept out of the way. but sent an
advocate to plead his cause before the
local judicial magistrate. The lawyer
employed all his eloquence to convince
the Judge that his client was innocent,
but his clever appeal had no effect upon
the magistrate, who knew the accused
and had probably condemned him be
fore he heard the details of the case.
He gave the sentence five and twenty
blows with a rod. The villaseSolomon
was informed that the criminal could
not be found. "Never mind.' he ob
served. "Justice must have its course.
As the criminal is not in our hands, we
decree that his advocate shall receive
the flogging. The man who has tho
face to defend such a rascal deserves to
be punished. The luckless lawyer in
vain protested against the illegality,
absurdity and utter injustice of tne
monstrous sentence. The loss of his
time and his fees, he contended, would
be quite sufficient punishment. But the
stiff old Russian Solomon was inexor
able, and the lawyer was actually
seized, bound and received the twenty-
five strokes as the representative of the
absent criminal. ,
SCHOOL JL5D CHUBCH.
An effort is being made to build a
church for deaf mutes at Philadelphia.
An outline of the temple at Jerusa
lem, traced on glass, has been found
in the Catacombs at Rome.
A Hartford girl twelve years old,
being asked how far she was advanced
in school, replied that she was "in geo
graphj on the second floor." Hartjord
The Garfield Memorial Church, on
the site of the little frame buiidin"- on
Vermont Avenue. Washington, wnere
Garfield worshiped with his mother
and his wife, is about finished. WasJi
In the village of Todorag, Sivas
field. Western Turkey. L? a Protestant
school taught by a girl. This) brave
girl conducts religious services on the
Sabbath, reading a sermon, and her ser
vice is drawing tn the villagers.
A Joint Commission, representing
the five Ohio Annual Conferences of the
M. E. Church, has issued an address to
the ministers and members of the M.
E. Church in Ohio on the proposition to
imbed in the constitution an enactment
for the utter extermination of the liquor
traffic. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
A Christian church now marks the
battle field of Isandhlwana. in Zululand.
where the Prince Imperial was killed.
The church is a Gothic structure of
white sandstone, and was very recently
dedicated. Ritualism marked the cere
mony, the bishop was vested in white
cope and mitre, two tapers glimmered
on the altar, and a large brass croso
glistened above the vase of flowers.
At a colored camp-meeting near
Columbus, O., one of the evening exer
cises was the "breaking of Gideon's
lamps." in illustration of the Bible storv
of Gideon and his band. who. when
warred upon by the Philistines, came
upon them at "night from different di
rections and broke .their lamps with a
great noise, causing the flight of their
enemies. The procession ofnegro Gid
eonites formed at headquarters and
marched through tie audience, coming
upon the enemy at three different points
when the breaking of lamps took place.
Bishop Warren says the assertion
that the Southern negro ministers are
leading their flocks astray by wicked
lives is not true, as far as it relates
to ministers of the Methodist Church.
Every minister, white or black, is every
year examined as to his character in
open conference. Occasionally a man
is found who gives evidence of" having
fallen from grace. He Is tried, and 5'
found guilty is expelled from the minis
trv. In one case at the last conference,
where Bishop Warren presided, a min
ister was thus dealt with whose offense
was not lewdness or drunkenness, but
the fact that he did not pay his debts.
The Baptist Weekly thus condemns
a variety ofs religious persecution: "If
there is a species of punishment mnr
execrable than another, it is that of
making children learn scriptures as a
penalty for their offences. The Rev.
Charles Garrett, the President of the
Wesleyan Conference, says he Iately
found in a school a boy who for some
offence was ordered to "learn a portion
of Scripture, and above all chapters the
fourteenth of John And there the poor
little fellow stood sobbing and murmur
ing as best he could: 'Let not vour heart
be troubled ' How can bovs "so treated
love the Bible?"
If you make a speech be sure that
your speech is out before the audience
Like the dog in the manner, the
nose Ls above kissing, and Ls alwavs
ready to interfere with the kissin"- "of
"I have a bright prospect before
me," said the loafer. "You always
will have." remarked Fog;r. "I don't
think you will ever catch "up to it."
Indignation will fill the breast of
every artist when we state that two men
were arrested in a lumber-vard the
other day, because they were suspected
of a design on wood. Chicago Herald.
An Alabama girl three years old.
ongoing to the window earlv'one foo-v
moming, cried out. "U, "come here
and look, mamma. The skv is . all
crammed down to the ground."
It Ls estimated that the Delaware
peach crop this season -will be from
two-thirds to three-fourths of a full
crop." As there never has been a
"full" crop of peaches in that State, it
is difficult to tell upon what the grow
ers base their estimates. Xorrtstown
A high school girl explained to her
friend that to say. "he kicked the
is slang, and that the polite
expression is. "he propelled his pedal
extremities with violence against a
familiar utensil used for the transpor
tation of water and other fluids " X
Our amiable young cousin. Bar
oness Burdett-Coutts-Bartlett. etc.,
holds S20VXW.00O m United States
funds. A recent interview with the
Baroness convinces us that she intends
to hold them. too. That's the gall of
it. Georrina was alwavs that kind of
a girl. Burdette.
Charlie went to see the apple of his
eye the other evening, and," after a
proper amount of affectionate convers.
i tion, said: "I'll rive vou a pair of ear
rings, dear, if you'll earn them bv let
ting me bore your ears." "Haven't I
earned them "already, then?" queried
the fairobject of his affections. Chicago
Some people assert that thev will
believe only what they can see. What
is clearlv demonstrable thev will ac
cept, but nothing else. These very
people, however, believe with all then
might that they have brains, and vet
they never saw them, and other folks
at any rate have no evidence that they
possess them. X. Y. Herald.
The young doctors who have been
let ioose from the schools on a confiding
and physii- loving public are likelv to
try many experiments very interesting
to all except, perhaps, the subjects of
them. They remind one of the illiter
ate fellow who. on being told that a
certain patient was convalescent, said,
"Why, that is nothing. I can cure con
valescence in three "hours. Chicago
President Grevy. of France, is a
great coffee-drinker when he can get
coffee fit to drink. Calling one day at
s country hotel for a cup he asked:
"Have you any chicory?" "Yes, sir."
"Bring" me "some." The landlord
brought a small can full. "Is that all
you have?" "No. sir. we have a little,
more." "Well. let me have it, too."
Another can was brought. "Positive
ly, this is every gram vou have?
"Yes. sir." "Very well; now go and
sake me a cup of coffee."
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