Nebraska Newspapers

    THE JOURNAL.
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 29, 1883.
Irttxti at it rtoaei. Celesta, Xtrt., u ttoni-
XX'MT.
A PLEA FOR THE DUDE.
c dandr of these latter days
u much that men may riffhUy praise;
'or he. -with all hla vaoid wava.
is someuung new.
fie differs from the olden style
In being: free from fraud and guile:
His harmless frown and vacant smile
Alike are true. .
Borne foreign airs he can't escape. I
Borne foreign styles he has to ape.
Because they suit so well his snap
From top to toe;
Ho vulgar copyist is he.
But truly boasts himself to bo
quite unique vacuity
" Bathah, yah know."
In dressing up a nether limb
No padder's art disguises him;
As nature made that member slim.
Slim it remains;
And nature rules in all the rest
Of his attire when he is dressed,
Unless, perhaps, his hat suggest
Too much of brains,
In disposition mock and mild.
Almost as harmless as a child,
Billy by some he may b styled,
But seldom rude;
Though stronger souls may 6corn his dress,
All must admire his cleanliness,
And find therein good cause to bless
The modern dude.
AT. r. Sun.
iCRDETTE'S ADVICE TO A YOUNG
CLERGYMAN.
My dear young brother: If you can,
at the outset of your ministerial career,
mtirely divest yourself of any idea that
Sou are possessed of lungs, throat or
rer, believe me, it will he peace to
four bones and mercy to j'our congre
gation, and your usefulness in the pul
pit will be largely increased.
A whining man is always a terrible
sore under all circumstances and ia any
profession. The more he whines the
!ess do we sympathize with him. We
itrive to avoid him. We listen to his
complaints only when he corners us.
And then we don't believe one-half of
them. And we charitably say that he
Mcaggerates the other half. And when
we believe he was only half so ill as he
claimed to be at first it follows that
there is nothing whatever the matter
frith him. You have seen these highly
oolored manikins which the dem
onstrators use on the platform,
taking them apart to illustrate
lectures on anatomy? Well, I have
tat under the ministry of some
preachers who came into the pulpit
now and then, and exhibited themselves
before the cobgregation as living won
ders of dyspepsia, bronchitis, asthma,
euralgia, headache, torpid livers, sore
throat, influenza, a large and carefully
selected assortment of coughs and colds,
and rheumatic troubles, inflammations,
congestions.spraius, bruises, contusions,
malarial affections, and all the various
ills to which the preacher is heir. If
you are an invalid, raj' dear brother,
your congregation doesn't want a full
report of your case and a detailed state
ment of the marvelous effects of Liebig?s
Concentrated Syrup of Ginseng every
Sunday morning. If a congregation is
anything like other audiences and I
think it is it doesn't care one cent for
your physical condition. The individual
units of the congregation will be moved
with compassion for your infirmity,
and will express and feel the
deepest sympathy with you. But the
mass in the aggregate will say: " We
came here to hear a good sermon, not a
lecture on anatonvy." And they will
expect a good sermon, too, and will
complain if they don't get it. Preach
without any reference to yourself or
your physical condition. You can some
times preach a headache away. If you
can't you will have to stand it. If you
parade your distress before your con
gregation, you only distress the people,
worry and irritate them and drive them
away from you. They will even "wish
to goodness that man would either get
well or quit preaching." All this has a
heartless sound, I know, but I believe it
to be true, and it isu't altogether.heart
less. You must expect to preach some
times when ou would rather run away,
like Jonah, than go into the pulpit. All
men feel that way at times, and all
men, from draymen to Presidents, work
when they don't feel like it.
And the man who suffers the most com
plains the least. The martyrs made lit
tle account of their troubles. Paul only
recounted his own sufferings when he
was goaded to it by the wearisome
"boasting" of others. And how simply
be recounts his perils and sufferings:
Thrice was I beaten with rods, once
was I stoned." Twice does he refer
to the "infirmity of the flesh," the
thorn in the flesh," and then so vague
ly that we only guess at what it was,
nd we can find to-day in no ancient
parchment Paul's indorsement of any
patent infallible eye-wash, averring that
It saved his sight, or that he couldn't
read a line were it not for Pebble's bevel-edge
lunar spectacles. He did not
apologize for the feebleness of his utter
ttce and wandering remarks, because
on the preceding evenings he had been
stoned and dragged out of the city and
left for dead.
And when he speaks of the messen
ger of Satan sent to buffet him what a
sermon does he preach on that text.
If you think you can couple such a dis
course with a specific account of the
origin and development of a malignant
inflammation of your tonsils, then go
ahead, and the world will gladly glory
with you in your infirmities.
I do want you to go out into the
world and enter upon your work like
real men. I don't want one of you to
create the impression that you 'gradu
ated from a hospital, rather than
Crozer Theological Seminary. And if
you are s sufferer, suffer cheerfully for
the Master's sake. Remember there is
a wide difference between the dumb,
dogged, sullen endurance of pain, with
out a murmur and without a smile, and
cheerful submission to God's will. Ah,
the sunnv. blessed, a thousand-fold
blessed religion, preached by the lives
of these cheerful sufferers. How they
shame our querulous winnings.
I want you to be manlv. I don't like
a "sporting" preacher. I don't think
you need boxing-gloves in your room,
and your presence at the horse race
isn't an absolute necessity. The world
expects you to live on a higher plane of
morality than the rest ot us. But I
don't see why you shouldn't be able to
throw a fly into a trout brook without
wrapping yourself and two or three
alder bushes up in your line. I don't
see why you maj- not as well plav base
ball a3 croquet or lawn tennis. I'donot
play base-ball myself: not because I
would as lief be hit with a brick as catch
a base-ball, any time. I think you might
play cricket, if you have a few weeks you
can spare for that purpose. I consider
it a most excellent game to develop a
man's patience and build up a habit of
long-suffering endurance. I have never
aeen a game played, clear through. I
am too young. If you become addicted
to croquet, however, remember to what
an undue indulgence in this fascinating
game may lead. It requires a .great
leal of grace to play a game of croquet
vjKhont cheating some and quar
nlinr a little. Especially after the
vaning grows dark. I do not like
to- pfiy croquet, because I am
are to be caught in the act, and it is
not pleasant to be suddenly called upon
to play and discover that 'you put the
wrong ball in your pocket. But if yon
joy any of these games, put on a soft
mtt'kat and play. Don't attempt to
eJmYhaaaball in a store-pipe hat. Don't
Wtoo.dicaified. BigidityWtd
Wteo.djgaified. Bigidity-isn't disity.,faMypnnaise or plAwjaUd'dmsiqg.'1--
the cigar store nsrer bends, and never,
laughs. Bat he isn't majestic and he
isn't dignified, by a long chalk. Don't
be a wooden Indian. Better be a live,
wild one, hair, paint, grease, dirt jnd
all. 1 wouldn't carry a pistol in my nip
pocket, if I were you, but if you have a
gun and love to shoot, a day in the
marsh or on the meadows may infuse
new life in your sermons. I hunt a
great deal, both in and out of game sea
son. I used to carry a gun with me.
Bat-it was heavy, and a trouble to car
ry it, and I was always leaving the caps
or wetting the powder, so I gave the gun
away. I shoot just as much game with
out it, I think, as I used to bing down
with it, and have just as good a time.
So can you. Burlington Hawkcye.
m
Fashion Items.
A decidedly dressy and trim finish to
a lady's summer toilet is a handsome
Selenne covering the neck and shoul
ers. It is of finest white silk chenille,
or heavy silk cord made in hair-pin
work, with silk or chenille fringes to
match. They can be made of white to
be worn over any dress, or of a pale tint
matched to one certain toilet.
Blacks, tabs, Vandykes and crenelat
ed edges of every description are uni
versal as dress trimmings. They ap
pear upon flounces, over-dresses, polo
naises, corsages, pelerines and sleeves.
Those most effective have a thickly
plaited '. frilling of lace or silk, set un
derneath the blocks or points, to set out
the tabs "and define the edges more
closely.
The "Habberton" divided skirt is this
summer a favorite, at least for bathing
purposes. Over this skirt is worn .a
Norfolk jacket, coming some inches be
low the hips, the whole giving perfect
freedom to the limbs, llie sleeves are
elbow length, and the jacket is cut
square in the neck and covered with
braid of two colors crossing each other
in wicker-work fashion.
Embroidery in silks or beads on the
dress material is as fashionable as ever,
and hand-painting on rich silks and sat
ins is most artistic and luxurious in effect.
This coming autumn and winter hand-
Eainted garnitures will be the very
eight of fashion; they certainly will
always be "out of the common," as the
Erice for these elegant adornments is
eyond the ordinary purse.
Painted muslins over thin silks the
color of their ground are very elegantly
worn. The trimmings of these are
always shirred or pulled, any plaiting
spoiling the pattern. Many of the pat
tern tissues have the long polonaise
tunic raised very high on one side under
loops of ribbon, the drapery being either
in upright plaits or gaugings. For
washing materials this style is as useful
as it is pretty, for the. drapery is easily
undone and rearranged.
The close-fittiugsleeve is yet popular,
though it is not worn so uncomfortably
tight as formerly. There can be no
more ridiculous sight than that of a
lady particularly one with a naturally
thin arm and waist wearing her sleeves
drawn so tight as to oblige her to keep
her arms continually at one angle be
cause she can not move her elbows. A
little more latitude here is conducive of
a considerable more grace, as well as
indicative of the wearers having listened
to the small but profound voice of com
mon sense.
Almost all bodices for summer wear
are this season cut open in the neck for
in-door or out-door toilets; for the latter,
however, the open space is occupied by
a plastron representing a waistcoat or a
jabot of lace, or an embroidered chem
isette may replace the plastron, but
where lace or very sheer embroidered
fabrics are used they must be placed
over some non-transparent material, as
the contrary would be wholly bad taste
for out-door wear. For in-door, the lace
or muslin alone may be used or not, ac
cording to the fancy and style of the
wearer.
Magnificent French flowers are ex
hibited as natural in appearance as
art, skill and deftness can make silk,
velvet, satin and chenille. There are
marvelous simulations of the freshness
and creaminess of the rose which defy
detection until the temptation to sniff
them is yielded to. A wonderful like
ness to the real blossom also charac
terizes the velvety, gold-headed pansy,
the vivid and pale chrysanthemum, and
indeed a spendid array of leaves and
exotics, which in all their marvelous
glow and variety of color and shading
are now transforming many of our fancy
stores into bowers of floral beauty. W.
Y. Evening Post.
Not Born to Be Drowned.
The old adage that a cat has nine
lives may perhaps in some instances be
applied to a dog, for certainly the ca
nine who can survive a trip over the
falls was surely not born to be drowned.
Mr. G. Chorman has had in his posses
sion for a time a dog, which, although
by no means vicious, had become ad
dicted to barking'at teams and pedes
trians as they passed along the street,
much to the annoyance of its owner,
who has tried to break him of the habit.
Failing in his teachings Mr. Chorman
decided to put the dog out of the way,
and thinking a trip over the falls the
most effective, proceeded early Sunday
morning, with the assistance of one of
his employes, to drop him into the riv
er from the center of Goat Island
bridge. Bidding doggy good-bye as he
floated down the rapids, he returned
home; but doggy would not have it that
way. During the afternoon a stranger,
walking across the new suspension
bridge, observed a dog under the bank,
and notified the gate-keeper at the
American end of the bridge, who, with
a glass, recognized the dog, and know
ing that he had been sent over the falls,,
notified Mr. Chorman that the dog was
below the bank. Later in the day Mr.
Chorman went down the inclined rail
way, but could not find the animal; but
early yesterday morning his son went
down and soon discovered the dog, who
seemed as frisky as though nothing had
happened. All at once the dog has be
come the hero of the hour, and will
now be allowed to remain and live out
the full measure of his days. Niagara
Falls Gazette.
Why We're Dyspeptic in Hot Weather.
"As a rule," said Dr. J. A. Oldshue,
yesterday, "the American lunch is re
sponsible for American dyspepsia. The
prevailing custom of perching on high
stools where elbow room is at a pre
mium, and shoveling down hot dishes
is barbaric and only fit for Hottentots.
Most of the lunch-rooms in the lower
part of the city are fixed up in this
way. The American breakfast, with
its steak, potatoes, hot coffee and ict
water, taken at an early hour in the
morning, is hard enough on the digest
ive functions; but the repetition ofthia
thing at noon or one o clock is even
worse, swallowed as it is with precipi
tation and want of care.
"Lunch should be a small, cooling,
quiet meal. It should not be heavy
enough to fill the stomach, but just
light enough to stay the cravings until
the heavier meal in the evening.
"In this weather lunch should be a
cold meal. Nothing is better than a
slice of cold spring lamb with mint
sauce and salad dressed in the French
style. A ieg or a wing of cold green
goose, or a bit of cold, broiled gosling,
is dainty and palatable. The heaw
meats, such as beef and veal, ought to
be avoided. They overburden the
stomach, and render a man practically
unfit for the afternoon work.
"If any hot dish is eaten for lunch it
should be at the most a slice of fish.
Nothing is more delicious than a place
a cold salmon or bine-fish, with either
Our Young Readers.
HOW THEY DIFFER.
Cries little Miss Fret,
In a very great pot:
"I hate this warm weather: it's horrid to tac
it scorches my nose.
And it blisters my toes,
And wherever I go I must carry a fan."
Chirps little Miss Laugh:
" Why. I couldn't tell half
The fun I am having this bright summer day.
I sing through the hours,
I cull pretty flowers.
And ride like a queen on the sweet-smelling
hay."
M. . Gangster, in Harper's Young People.
A DREADFUL ADVENTURE.
Over twenty-five years ago, in a small
Indiana village, which was situated on
the banks of a pleasant stream, stood an
old, red-brick school-house. The village
is still there. It has not yet grown into
city ways, and probably never will.
The river, too, is there, and is still the
same pleasant, high-banked stream it
was twenty-live years ago. But the
dear, old red-brick school-house has
given place to a more pretentious mod
ern structure, and the little boys and
girls who romped upon the school-house
plav-irround then are all men and
women now, with little boys
of their own.
and girls
Children have grand events in their
lives, as well as older people. Wonder
fully exciting incidents occur to them,
narrow escapes and startling advent
ures which they remember all their
lives. It is one of these narrow escapes,
one of these startling adventures of
child-life, that I am about to tell to the
little boys and girls of to-day, and the
story isno "make believe;' it is true
terribly true it seemed to six little girls
who attended school at the old red-brick
so long ago.
Just back of the school-house was the
play-grouud, and just back of the play
ground, with only a high board fence
Between, was the railroad track, where
trains thundered past at all hours of the
day.
The fence between us was high, and
the most agile boy in the play-grouud
could not climb to its top, but thev could,
and did, beat down the boards with
miniature battering-rams, constructed
for this puqiose.
These openings would sometimes es
cape the notice of the teacher for days,
even weeks, at a time, and the children
would crowd their round, bright faces
into them to watch the trains go past.
At first they remained within the in
closure. and only glanced through at
the forbidden grounds beyond, but they
finally grew bolder, and ventured into
the tall grass which grew on either side
of the track.
The boys converted the newly-acquired
territory into a ball ground,
while the girls 'began to search for a
suitable location for a play-house.
There were six little girls who be
longed to one play-family, representa
tives of six different real families in the
village. Minnie Wells, the minister's
little daughter, was only six years old;
Dot Williams belonged to the village
merchant, Nellie Dodd to the grocer;
Fay Ferris represented the aristo.cracy,
in French merino and high-Jieeled boots,
while Sallie McConald came from the
lower ranks of society.
These little girls were all about seven
years of age; but the mother of this in
teresting family, Mary Washburn, was
older and was also the cause of the ter
ror and humiliation which came to
them one autumn day.
Jt was during the noon intermission
that Mary joined her family, with eyes
aglow with excitement, exclaiming:
"Oh, my! I guess I've found a house
for us now a really, truly house and
we can have a bed-room, and a kitchen,
and a parlor, and everything we want,
and we won't let a single boy into it
not a single boy!"
"Oh, where is it?" chorused the other
voices, excitedly.
"You just follow me, and see what
I've found," Mary answered, as she led
the way, with grave importance.
And, sure enough, there it stood, a
"really, truly" liouse, as Mary had
said, with roof, and floor, and great
slide doors on either side just the
loveliest play-house in the world,
the children thought and they pre
pared to move in and take possession at
once.
"But there ain't any steps to it, and
how'll we ever get "in?" asked Faj-,
dolefully, as she glanced up at the
great, open door, so far above.
"We'll make us some steps," an
swered Mary, who was equal to almost
any emergency.
A large box lay near, and the six
little girls set to work to roll it to the
side of the new house, under the door,
regardless of white aprons and clean
hands; and then, with shrieks of delight,
they clambered in and explored the
premises.
"The family that moved out wasn't
the leastest bit neat," said Nellie, view
ing the floor in diemay.
"We'll have a thorough house-cleaning,"
said Mary, energetically. "Now,
children," she added, "I want you to
all go to the old play-house, and move
the furniture ana dishes to our new
house just as quick as ever you can.
I should be mortified to death if Mrs.
Judge Baxter or the minister's wife
snoula call and nna us in such
us in sucn a
muss."
And then, oh, how hard they did
work, those six little girls! Pieces of
carpets, bits of broken crockery, odds
and ends of almost everything which
the real mothers at ho'me had con
tributed to the play-house at different
times, were brought by armfuls to the
new house, and great drops of perspira
tion stood out under the edge of brown,
yellow and sandy hair, the result of their
energetic enthusiasm.
Water was brought, in an old, bat
teredtin dinner-pail, from the depot,
which was quite near, and the floor was
scrubbed with an old cast-away broom,
until, as Susie remarked, 'twas plenty
clean enough to eat off from."
"And, oh my! Just the cutest little
shelf for our dishes!" said Dot, as she
placed them carefully in a row on a
beam which extended" across the end of
the house.
"It's the nicest house I ever did see,"
exclaimed Sallie, drawing in a long, de
lighted breath.
By this time the household goods had
all been conveyed to the new house,
andlay in piles of confusion on the floor.
"Now, do work spry, children!" said
the busy mother, brushing about ex
citedly. " We must get things straight
ened before the school-bell rings. There
it goes," she cried, in dismay. " Oh,
dear me! It's just as I expected. I
know that Mr. Donald hasn't given us
half an hour's nooning to-day.
"The mean old thing!" cried Nellie,
indignantly.
At that instant, without a moment's
warning, the two great doors.on either
side of the liouse slid to with a bang,
that brought six wildly palpitating
hearts into six throbbing little throats,
as the terror-stricken chddren stood in
the awful darkness of their prison
house. They were too frightened and aston
ished to speak: or move for a moment,
and during that short space of silence
they heard a great, rough voice, just
outside, say:
"I can get a good big price for 'em
out West, where there ain't no little
girls. Pll couple this 'ere night-car
2' jht on to the engine, an' take 'em off
ore they're missed."
And then the "new home" began to
move along the track, slowly at first,
but gaining rapidity at every turn of
the wheels, and a wail of anguish,
which was simply terrific, went up from
the entire family within.
Hot and .Nellie danced rirbt up and
and screamed at tWlbp
inert
theirsiay oi ito
voices, tossing their chubby hands
about in a most frantic manner.
Sallie and Fay lifted up their voices
in a dismal wail of anguish. Little Min
nie dropped on hor knees, and began t(
say: " Now I lay me," getting it sadly
mixed with " Oh, I want my mamma'.
While Mary threatened her captor
with every conceivable manner of von-
feance if he did not release her at once;
ut her terrible threats were drowned
by the united voices of hersobbing chil
dren. "Oh, what shall we do? What shall
we ever do?" cried Nellie, in despair.
"I s'pose he's goin' to sell us to the
people who eat up fat little girls and
what will our mamma do then?" sobbed
Dot.
Then followed another burst of un
controllable grief aud lamentation, loud
er and longer than the first, in the midst
of which the giant's heart must have re
lented, for one of the great doors sliel
suddenly open, letting in a flood of sun
light letting out six sorrowful little
girls, with tumbled clothes and tear
stained faces.
They did not wait to find the step,
but jumped out in such reckless hastd
that they fell upon each other in a be
wildering heap of bright-colored dress
es, from which protruded six pairs ol
small shoes struggling to extricate thei
owners from the heaving muss. Thii
was finally accomplished, aud just as
the second reading class wore taking
their places on the recitation seats, six
forlorn little objects filed into the school,
room.
But their troubles were not at an end.
To be sure, they had lost all of their
household goods; had bruised them
selves dreadfully in their fall from the
car; had soiled and torn their dresses,
so that an explicit explanation must ba
rendered at home; but the most terrible
part was j-et to come. They fully re
alized this when Miss Birch bade them
stand in a line, and await Mr. Donald's
verdict. Trembling with apprehensive
forebodings they stood there, while the
copious tears flowed afresh.
At length they heard his step in the
hall, the step which they feared at any
time, but which seemed like a knell of
doom as the awaited his coming.
He entered the room, heard their piti
ful story, and then their punishment
began.
Mary, being the oldest, was placed
foremost, and the rest directly behind
her, in a line.
"Forward, march!" said the principal,
in a voice of stern command; and the
melancholy lino advanced.
Mr. Donald stood at the door, leading
into the hall, and as they passed him he
administered a stinging box on the six
left cars turned toward him. He then
marched solemnly in advance, and led
them up the stairs into the august pres
ence of the young ladies and gentlemen
of the school, after which he again took
his station at the door, and adminis
tered a box of equal severity on the six
right ears.
The little culprits then took their
seats, with hot cheeks and hotter ears
as reminders of their offense.
For days afterward they took no in
terest in play-houses or games, but
would go away by themselves and talk
over their dreadful adventure, and sur
mise and wonder what terrible things
would have happened to them if their
captor had not finally relented and set
them free. Ruth Harlwick, in Golden
Days.
An
Old Man's Adventure on a Railway
Bridge.
An old man living in Marshall Coun
ty recently met with an experience
which he will not soon forget. He was
walking down the Baltimore & Ohio
Railroad, about a mile beyond Mounds
ville and near Huggin's mill, late in the
evening, when he heard a train coming
in the distance. A few yards below was
a bridge, which the old man thought ho
could cross before the approaching train
reached it. He started rapidly, but as
he stepped upon the ties the train ap
peared in sight. It was still some dis
tance away, and he increased his speed
in hopes that he would clear the bridge.
Suddenly his foot slipped on one of the
oily ties, and he was thrown to his knees
between the rails. As he rose he glanced
toward the train, and his blood must
have turned cold when he saw it just
coming into the covered bridge at a
speed which quick as thought annihi
lated the short distance between it and
the trembling man. At the same time
the engineer, "Chap" Fleming,-saw a
dark form in the headlight's glare, real
ized the perilous situation, and four
sharp, shrill screams from the whistle
and the wheezing of the air-brakes
showed at once that ho was doing his
best to stop the train.
In the moment of time which this oc
cupied, the old man had seized his only
hope of safety. A position where he
had one chance in a million for his lifo
suggested itself, and without hesitation
he lay down on the ends of the ties. His
action was watched by the engineer and
fireman, and its almost utter hopeless
ness was seen. They turned away with
an involuntary exclamation of horror,
expecting the next instant to feel the
jar of the wheels as they mangled his
body to shreds. The man had scarcely
laid down when the train was on him,
and the cow-catcher plowed him from
his narrow shelf. If before he had but
one chance in a million for his life, it
would now seem that even that chance
was gone. But not so. In his fall the
man stnick upon one of the cross
beams which pass several feet below
the track from side to side of the
bridge. He clasped this with the strength
of desperation, and clunj to it until
t the train had reached the other side.
Then, with weak and trembling clutch,
he drew himself up to the track and
crawled rather than walked back to
shore. There he sat down, scarcely
bruised by his rough contact with the
engine or his fall, but sick with fright.
As soon as the train could be brought
to a stand-still, Conductor Manning sent
his brakeman, a man named Hillard,
back to see if the man was dead. What
was their surprise to find him sitting by
the track unhurt, and, except for his
scare, no worse for his fearful experi
ence an experience probably without
a precedent. Wheeling (W. Va.) Intel
ligencer. Killed by a Tombstone.
The story of the sculptor at Ayr (Mr.
Smith), who is reported to have been
crushed to death by a heavy monument
an which he was at work, and which he
somehow brought dowui upon himself
from the platform on which it had been
raised, recalls several similar stories of
antiquity and of the Middle Ages, in
which the sculptor is represented as
struck to the ground and killed by his
own creation. Sometimes, too, a statue
will fall in an independent manner on a
person who had taken no part in creat
ing it, but who had been guilty of some
offense generally toward the statue it
self. A statue, for example, having
been erected during his lifetime to the
wrestler Theagenes, a jealouB rival ap
proached it one night, and, after insult
ing it by word of mouth, seized it by
the beard and pulled it down upon .him
self with crushing effect. An endeavor,
too, has been made to explain, by like
affront, followed by like consequences,
the legend of Don Juan and' the statue
of the commander. Unhappily, in thej
case of Mr. Smith, the story is tree.'
The monument that crushed'him was a;
tombstone weighing upward of half si
Lton. St. James' Gazette.
m m
According to a New York phTsiclajn,
hydrate of chloral threatens to'Secome
a more
dangerous arug man opium i
to forks.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
The right name of Henry Irving,
She English actor, is Broadrib.
Mr. A. A. A bell, proprietor of the
Baltimore Sun, is estimated to be worth
B15.000.000.
General Bradley T. Johnson baa
finished writing a book on the early his
tory of Maryland.
Clara Louise Kellogg has leased a
house at New Hartford, Conn., near her
birth-place, and will spend the summer
there.
The two candidates for Governor of
Ohio, Judges Foraker and Hoadly,
vote in the same precinct in Cincinnati.
Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Alma Taderaa, wife of the
English painter, is one of the three sis
ters who are called "Nutritious,"
"Grateful" and "Comforting."
Rev. Stephen H. Tyug, Jr., has
given up the pulpit, become a perma
nent Parisian, and is to be the general
European agent of the Equitable Life
Insurance Company, of New Yerk.
Ar. Y. Sun.
The breach of promise case of
Mary Alice Livingston against Henry
Fleming, a New York millionaire, in
which the lady got a judgment for $75,
000, .has been "compromised by the pay
ment of $35,000.
The following ex-Governors of Ver
mont are octogenarians: Hiland Hall,
Bennington; Ttyland Fletcher, Caven
dish; Julius Converse, Woodstock; Paul
Dillingham, Watcrbury; Frederick Hol
brook, Brattleboro.
In Burke County. Ga., a few days
ago Daniel Dowse, aged ninety, married
Rachel Jones, aged seventy-five. The
timid bride nervously clutched the arm
of her groom, who' bore himself with
maul' pride. -i-Ar. 1'. Graphic.
Mayor Bulkuley, of Hartford,
spends much more for the city every
year than his salary covers. His enter
tainment of the 'Charleston (S. C.)
militiamen cost him several thousand
dollars, the expense of the little feast
at his own house being about $1,700.
Hartford (Conn.) Post.
United States Minister Hunt and
Admiral Baldwin have received the
large gold medal commemorative of the
Czar's coronation. Admiral Baldwin
has received a gold snuff-box, with a
portrait of the Czar set in brilliants, to
mark the Czar's personal appreciation
of the courtesy of the United States in
sending a special naval mission to Mos
cow. Mrs. Margaret Haughery is to have
a life-sized statue in New Orleans. For
forty years she was the most self-sacrificing
philanthropist in that city. Many
instances of her heroism are borne in
mind by her admirers. On one occa
sion, when she applied at a large
grocery for provisions, she was laugh
ingly told by a member of the firm:
"We'll give you all you cau pile on a
wheelbarrow, if you will take it to the
asyluni yourself." She accepted the
offer and rolled the barrow in triumph
through the streets. Chicago Journal.
HUMOROUS.
The overworked printer may bo
called a galley-slave.
What relation is the door to the
door-mat? A .ttup-father.
The man who invented the phrase.
"Just as easy as rolling oft a log,"
must have tried to cross the river on
one.
A Pittsburgh clothier advertises
"Gents' Refrigerator Clothing." The
outfit probably includes a nice chest
protector.
Very shocking.
A fair and accomplished young Dr.
Fell in love with a lady named Pr.f
But his terms scientific
Came forth so terrific,
That they really and truly quite shr.
The keeper of a New York prison
charges prisoners fifteen dollars a week
board. He must be laboring under the
idea that the prison is a summer resort
hotel. Such an outrageous charge is
enough to induce a
a i i ",
poor
man to load
an upright life and not patronize
his
old jail. Aorrtsloton Herald.
An Erie (Pa.) paper prints a story
about a minister in Mercer who cured a
dog of paralysis by praying over it for
an nour. We don't doubt it. A prayer
an hour long, by some preachers,
would make a wooden dog get up and
walk. The only wonder is how the
Mercer parson could stand it so long
himself. Burlington Hawkeyc.
The most gauzy story ever presenied
to the credulity of the American public,
says the San i rancisco Post, is that in a
recent stage robbery in Montana an
editor who was a passenger was
robbed of 1.50, and had 600 that was
not taken. The inside facts are that he
had the 1.50 in the toe of his sock and
the 600 in his mmd.
A hungry countryman was explor
ing one of the quiet lanes in the city for
a dinner, when his ears were saluted
by a shrill voice from an eating-house,
which uttered in rapid tones the follow
ing incomprehensive jargon: "Biled
lamancapersors Rosebeefrosegoos
Rosemuttonantaters Biledlamancab
bagevegetables Walkinsirtakeaseat
sir." The astonished man hastened his
pace in order to find a house where
they spoke English. N. Y. Graphic.
Once upon a time a belated traveler
applied for shelter at a farm-house in
rather a wild part of New England,
and after being taken care of for the
nfght, was invited to join the family at
morning prnj-ers. The host prayed
with due fervor for the stranger within
his gates, and also that his own sons
might be like two hemispheres. The
guest, failing to comprehend his exact
meaning, ventured to asK it later on.
The good farmer looked a bit puzzled,
said he didn't exactly know, and after
a moment's hesitation said: "But I guess
it's a pretty good word, ain't it ?"
Harper's Bazar.
An orange-seller, the other day,
found a bad specimen among his fruit
and carelessly tossed it away. It struck
an old woman in the eye, and she made
such a fuss over the accident that the
man gave her a dozen good oranges to
fro her way in peace. She had scarcely
eft when a sharp-looking boy about
twelve years of age slid up to the fruit
seller and said: "Are you going to hit
any more old women to-day?" "Why,
nol not if I can help it," was the reply.
"If you are, give me a chance," con
tinued the lad. "I'll bring my mother
down here, and you ma' hit her in both
eyes for half the oranges you gave that
other woman, and if that isn't fair you
can have a shot at dad and me." Chi
cago Herald
Knew Her Falling.
"So, Mary, you are going to leave me
to take service with Mrs. De Vere?"
"Yes, ma'am, but you see
she
pays
me more wages."
"I suppose so, and I suppose your
mind is made up to go. Mary, I want
to make you a present before you go."
" Please don t ma'am."
" Why, what do you mean?"
"1 mean, ma'am, that Mrs. De Vere
will want to know the cost of your par
lor curtains, the number of your serv
ants, and the name of your dressmak
er." "And suppose she does?"
" Why, rll have to tell her, and as
much more as I can think of. It's my
rfailing, and if you give me your old
black silk not to tell, and she gives me a
new seven dollar hat to pump out all I
know, I feel that I shall lean toward
the hat."
Mary is allowed to go, and Mrs. Eras
tus thanks her stars that the girl never
knew that her diamonds were paste ox
the furniture mortgaged. Will BtrttX
TRIPLE TRAIN
: EXCURSION
! TO
WASHINGTON,
BALTIMORE,
HARPER'S FERRY,
LURAY CAVERNS,
MT. VERNON,
. FORTRESS MONROE,
OLD POINT COMFORT,
AND OT1IKR 1'OINTS OK
Scenic and Historic Interest
FROM CHICAGO
-OVKK
Picturesque g J Q
At the Iteunirkablv Low Kite of
HALF FARE
Or niu- rc-rulnr fan- for the Hound trip
trom Chicago to Ilultiiuore anil return.
SEPTEMBER 10TH.
First train leaving Chicago at S:.',0 in
the morn'ng.
Seeond train leaving Chicago at 5: 10 in
the afternoon.
Third train leaving Chicago at fl: -10 in
the evening.
All thee trains departing from Chictgo
at sticu hour-, as to enaiilc direct connec
tion from the trtiii- arriving in Chicago
on the Chicago, Hock Maud & Pacific, the
C hieago .Vr Alton, the Chicago, Ilurling
ton ,v (Juiney, trie Wabash, the Chicago,
.Milwaukee .v. St. l'aul, the Chicago &
Northftern. the IrtiiioN Central," and
all other line fiom the
NORTHWEST AUD SOUTHWEST.
NO CHANGE OF CARS
OK ANY CLASS HU)M
Chicago to Baltimore and
Vashington.
ELEUAxNT XKW DAY COACHES,
Magnificent Palace Sleep
ing Cars, Superb New
Dining Oars,
3ROYAL TRAINS
Axn
Lightning Time.
The Baltimore & Ohio Companv has de
termined to make thoe triple trains the
grandest Excursion event in railroad
anna!-, and to this end will call into play
all the eiioininii- re.ource of its great
-ytem
The date of the Excursion N most hap
pily timed, enaldiug all who , articipate
io auenu u,e lcinirKaiHe series of
0EI0LE FESTIVITIES
AT ItAalEMOlCi:.
Embraced in the brilliant aud unprece
dented programme, is one night of Un
paralleled ELECTRICAL DISPLAYS
And another night of Wondrous
MYSTIC PAGEANTRY!
NEVER EQUALED IN THE WORLD.
On the Electric Night, Lord Baltimore
will arrive in the Harbor of Baltimore
upon one of the line-t steamers atloat, and
which will literally he a blaze of electri
cal illumination. " The IJoyal Steamer
will he escorted up the harbor by trom
sixty to eighty tug boats, four abreast,
and each carrying electric lights in vari
ous colors. From all sides of the harbor
Fire-AVorks in great profusion will be
discharged from special barges stationed
for such purpose, and the spectacle as a
whole will be an unprecedented one.
Arriving in the city. Lord Baltimore,
his Courtiers, Household and Officers will
be escorted to the City Hall bv a most
novel Military l'arade a thous'aud sol
diers covered with Electric Lights in
ditfereut colors; horses with electrical
plumes, and the whole city presenting a
ene simply indescribable.
ox iAE4iiT iic;irr,
Another remarkable spectacle will be
witnessed, and effects produced never
before attempted in any city of the world.
The parade will be the grandest in ex
tent known in the history of mystic
pageantry. The costumes, all entirely
new, were made in Paris, and beyond all
comparison the linest ever imported to
this country. The unparalleled number
of Forty Tableau Floats will be in line,
and will be larger and more imposing in
construction than ever before known.
Some conception of the amazing extent
of the pageant may be gleaned from the
tact mat upwards ot thirteen hundred
men, two hundred and thirty horses, six
bands, and six hundred carried lights are
requited to place it upon the streets.
Xo advance will be made in the usual
rates for hotel accommodations, either in
Baltimore or Washington, visitors being
enabled to stop in either city, the Balti
more and Ohio running
FIFTY-MINUTE TKAIK
between tne two cities. Trains run at
least every hour.
IIAKPEK'S FF.HKY
Is directly upon the line ot the B. fc O.,
only a little over two hours' run from
Baltimore and one hour from Washington.
The old John Brown Fort still stands.
As all the paradtsfcdisplays and Pageants
at Baltimore take place "at night, there
will he abundant opportunities to visit
Harper's Ferry.
OLD POINT COMFORT
AND
FORTRESS MONROE
Are but oce night's sail from Baltimore
or Washington on Magnificent Steamers.
Excursionists so choosing cau take the
Bay Line Steamers at Baltimore, witness
the grand electrical and pyrotechnical
display in the harbor, arrive at Old Point
Comfort and Fortress Monroe eailv the
following morning, spend the day and be
back in Baltimore again bright and early
on the morning of the night of the great
Mystic Pageant.
MOUNT VERNON
Is but a few hours' ride on the historic
Potomac from "Washington. Splendid
Steamers leaving every morning aud re
turning uunng tne atternoon.
LURAY CAVERNS,
The most famous of all the subterranean
wonders of the country, are readily with
in a day's time from "Washington or Bal
timore. Special fast Excursion Trains,
making the round trip, with four hours
at the caverns, which are now lighted
throughout by Electricity.
WASIlINCiTON,
Ever a place of greatest interest to all.
never looks more beautiful to the eye or
offers more inducements for a visit than
during the lovely weather always the
rule in September. The B. Jfr O." is the
onlv direct line from the West to Wash
ington, and the only line running
Fifty-Minute Trains
BETWEEN
-WASHINGTON and BALTIMORE.
No such an opportunity for a visit to
the most attractive centres of interest in
the East and South has been offered for
years as thin
Grand Triple Train Trip.
Write for fuU details and all informa
tion as regards Sleeping Car and other
accommodations to
T. H. DEABBOBff,
General North- Western Passenger
Agent, Baltimore & Ohio H. H.
16-4 S3 Clark Street, Chicago, 111.
KASTXVARI).
Daily Express TraiuB for Omalia. Cut
cas, HansuM City, St. Louis, aud all jMiiutB
East. Through cars via l'eorla to tinliaii
apoUs. Eletyuit Pullman I'nlncc 'i:rsaml
Duy coaches on all through trnitij, and
Dining Cnri cast of Hissouri Kher.
Through Ticket at tho T.ou pet Ilatnq
baggago -will Lo checked t lt';titiattc':i. Any
wui oo cneerrauy iurtasncti upou application to any ngont, or to
I S. EUSTK, Giinil Ticket Agent. Omahc, Neb.
NOTICE
Chicago Weekly News.
-AND
SOLVUBVS, HSB., lOnUL
FOR
$2.50 a Year Postage Included.
Th9 OaiJAGO WEEKLY NEWS is recognized as a
paper unsurpassed in all the requirements of Americai.
Journalism. It stands conspicuous among the metropolitan
journals of the country as a complete News-paper. In the
matter of telegraphic service, having the advantage of
connection with the CHICAGO DAILY NEWS, it has at its com
mand all the dispatches of the Western Associated Press,
besides a very extensive service of Special Telegrams
from all important points. As a News-paper it has no supe
rior. It is INDEPENDENT. Politics, presenting all political
news, free from partisan bias or coloring, and absolutely
without fear or favor as to parties. It is, in the fullest sense,
a FAMILY PAPER. Each issue contains several COM
PLETED STORIES, a SERIAL STORY of absorbing interest, and
a ricn variety of condensed notes on Fashions, Art, Indus
tries, Literature, Science, etc., etc. Its Market Quotations
are complete, and to be relied upon. It is unsurpassed asw
an enterprising, pure, and trustworthy GENERAL FAMILY
NEWSPAPER. Our special Clubbing Terms bring it within
the reach of all. Specimen copies may be seen at this offiot
Send subscriptions to this office.
18T0. 1883.
THK
alrnqbus $onrtud
Is conducted as a
FAMILY NEWSPAPER,
Devoted to the best mutual inter
ests of its readers and it puhli.h.
ers. Published at Columbus, I'latte
county, the centre of the agricul
tural portionpfNebraska.it is read
by hundreds of people eas.t who are
looking towards Nebraska as their
fnture home. Its subscribers in
Nebraska are the staunch, solid
portion of the community, as is
evidenced by the faet that the
JouitN'AL has never contained a
"dun" against them, and by the
other fact that
ADVERTISING
In its columns always brings its
reward. Business is business, and
thoe who wish to reach the solid
people of Central Nebraska will
11 nd the columns of the Journal a
splendid medium.
JOB WORK
Of all kinds neatly and quickly
done, at fair prices. This specie
of printing is nearly always want"
ed in a hurry, and, knowing thi
fact, we have so provided for it
that we can furnish envelopes, let
ter heads, bill heads, circulars,
posters, etc., etc., on very short
notice, and promptly on time as
we promise.
SUBSCRIPTION.
1 copy per annum
" Six months ...
" Three months,.
20
. 1 00
. h0
Single copy sent to any address
in the United States for 5 cts.
M. Z. TTTENER & CO.,
Columbus, Nebraska.
EVERYBODY
Can now afford
A CHICAGO DAILY.
THE
CHICAGO HERALD,
All. the News every day on four large
pages of seven columns each. The Hon.
Frank AV Palmer (Postmaster of Chi
cago), Editor-in-Chief. A Republican
Daily for
$5 per Year,
Three mouths, $1.;V). One month on
trial 50 cents.
CHICAGO
"WEEKLY HERALD"
Acknowledged byi everybody who has
read it to be the best eight-page paper
ever published, at the low price of
tl PER YEAR,
Postage Free.
Contains correct market reports, all
the new., and general reading interest
ing to the farmer and his family. Special
terms to agents and clubs. Sample
Copies free. Address,
CHICAGO HERALD COMP'Y
120andl22Fifth-av.,
A0.tT CHICAGO. ILL
LYON&HEALY
A Monro SU.. Chicago.
Wm 4 bihU to uy Mdirmm lb
AMDCATALOOUe,
br 1M3. 100 PK. " Escnrlnp,
Mtraswata. aaiu. up, aeii
l. Eianl.U. bua
Dram JUio.1, Suflk. tul
ik. &bo lncluda I ulnKtlon lil
Sandrr Bud Ont&th Bl
for Anirar aiOL J m
rCbefcaBudMufe,
iHSUt
H"
Mac lV
"WESTWARD.
DailT Exnrcsa Train"! for I)nnrr. ..,.
nectint; In Union Depot lor all poitita Ja '
West. Tho advent of this lino gives Uio trav
e!or a New ICoute to tho West, with scenery
u;ui ;uiaiiuii;i.'3 uuuijuiuiou cisownero
p on snto nt n'1 Hn lrmv4iTit clfiino r,.l
information az to ratos, routes or time tables !
THE-
Special Announcement!
SEDUCTION IN PRICE.
We otler the .louitXAi. in combination
with the American Agriculturist, the !nt
farmeri magazine in the world, for :t
a year, which includes postage on both.
IN ADDITION, we will seiidm? to ev
ery person who takes both papers, .t
-Mairnilieent l'late Kngraiugof Dl riJh"
last Great Painting. "H TIIX: .fSfiLt
1MHV," iii.w on exhibition in New York,
and odcrcd for -ale at S.'.OOO.
Tne eminent ArtM, Y. S. I'lIl'lH II.
writing to a friend in the cotmtr li-t
October, tint" allude to thK Picture:
". . I wa delighted thi morning to
see offered as a Premium a reprodm-tiou
of a very beautiful Picture, IV '"'III?
:?IKABMYVby Dupre. Thi Picture
is an Kducator "
Thi -superb engraving 1T" by 1- inches,
exclusive of wide border, is worth more
than the cot of both Journal. It i
mounted on heavy Plate Paper, and -t
securely packed in Tube made exprc dy
for the purpose. When to be mailed, 10
cents extra is required for Packing, Post
age, etc.
33Subseriptions may begin at any
time, and the Agriculturist furnished in
German or English.
D YOU WANT THE KKST
Illustrated Weekly P.ijwr
. M published ? If so, snh
0 scribe for Tlie Wooldy
Graphic It contains four pai;e4
of illustrations and eight paues
of reading matter. It is terse.
It is vigorous. It is clean anil
healthy. It gives all the news.
Its home department is full of choice
literature. Farming interesU receivespe
cial and regular attention. It treats inde
pendently of politics and aflairs. During
the year it gives over 200 pages of illustra
tions, embracing every variety of subject,
from the choicest art production to the
customs, manners and noteworthy incident
and everyday scenes of every jeopIc ; and
Cartoons upon events, men and measures
Try it a year, subscription price $2.50 a year
Sample copies and terms to agents, 5 cent-.
Aodkkm THE WEEKLY GRAPH U ,
182 & 18-1 Dearbokx Street, Chicago.
Wo offer Tho Weekly Graphic in
Club with
The Columbus Journal
For $;:.90 a vear in advance.
LUERS & HOEFELMANty
DEALKKS IX
CHALLENGE
WIND MILLS,
AND PUMPS.
Buckeye Mower, combined, Self
Binder, wire or twine.
Pumps Repaired on short notice
iSTOne door we-t of Heint. Drug
Store, 11th Street, Columbu-4, Neb. s
REST
net, life is wcepinr b.
go and dare before ou
die, .something misrhty
and sublime leave behind
conouer time. ?W a Week in your own
wn. f."i outfit free. No risk. Every
thing new. Capital not required. We
will furnish you everything. 3Ianv are
making fortunes. Ladies make as much
as men, and boy-, and girls make gre.it
pay. Header, if you want businc at
which you can make great pay all the
time, write for particulars to H. IIallkxt
& Co., Portland, Maine. ai-y
SrJ A week made at home bv the
Hk l J industrious. Uet bu'ine
0 I fj now before the public. Capital
not needed. We will start
you. 3Ien, Women, boys and girl want
ed everywhere to work for u. Now is
the time. You can work in spare time, or
give your whole time to the business.
No other business will pay you nearly as
well. Nc one can fail to make enormou
pay, by engaging at once. Costly outfit
and terms free. Money made fast, easily
and honorably. Address Truk & Co.,
Augusta, Maine. 31-y.
0