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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1883)
fMituttts inttpitt KATES OF AlYYEItTISIXC;. STBusiness and professional cards of five lines or less, per annum, five dollars. 13 For time advertisements, apply at this office. SSTLegal advertisements at status rates. 22TFor transient advertising, rates on third page. ISTAll advertisements payable monthly. s- tST OFFICE Eleventh St.. up ftairs in Journal Building. terms: Per year ix month Thre months Single copies VOL. XIV.-NO. 14. COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 1, 1883. WHOLE NO. 690. THE JOURNAL. ISSUED EVERY WEDNESDAY, M. K. TURNEK &s CO., Proprietors and Publishers. (The $3 90 1 OO SO OS t BUSINESS CASDS. DENTAL PAELOE. On Thirteenth St., and Xebraska Ave., over Friedhofs store. jSTOmee hours, S to 12 a. m ; 1 to 5 p. in. Olla ASHBacgh. Dentist. ATT0EXEYS-A7-LA W, L'p-stair-in;iuck Iiuildinp. lltb street, .1.ve the New bank. TT .8. lll'MSO.V XOTARY PUBLIC. fnh Mrrt.2 Joori. w.t or Ilammoni! Hooef Columbus. Xeb. -91-v nPIII'KSYOrV Sc POWEKS. SURGEOX DENTISTS. SS" Office "in Mitchell Block, Coluia-bu-. Nebraska. H-tf p EEK Jt KEEUER, .4 TTORXEYS A T LA W, Office uu Olive St.. 'oIurabu-. Nebraska. J-tf C. i G. A. 1IILLHOR.-T, A. M., M. D., IIOMEOPA TH1C PHYSICIAX. j5J-Two Mucks -outh of Court House. Telephone communication. -! V. A. MACKEN, dkau:k in- Wines, Liquors. Cigars, Porters. Ale.-, e'c. etc. Olive Mreet, next to Fir-t National Bank. ;o-y ircALLMTER BROS., A TTORXE l'S A T LA W. Office up-stair-. in McAllister's build ing. 11th st. W. A. McAllister, Notary Public J. M. MACFARLAND, A... -...-. . B. R. COWDKRY, "Fi"sj LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE OK MACFARliAND &. COWDBR?, Columbus. Xebraska. G "1 EO. .V UERKY, PAIXTER. J3 rri ure. hou-e and si-n painting, trlazin;;. paper batisrini;. kalomiiiin', etc. done to ordrr. shop oil 13th St.. oppo-ite Euirine HuUv, Columbus, Neb. 10-y F. ? II. It! MIIK, Uth St., opposite LindellHctel. Se!l Haniei. Saddle-, Collar-. Whip-, Blanket-. . urry Comb-. Bruhe-. trunk-, va!i-t--. J,Jisr " top-, cu-hion-. carriage trimmiuv's. &:, at the lowest po--ibIe pru-e-,. Repairs pr mptl attended to. aon C.TASKER, Real Estate -Argent, Genoa, Nance Co., Neb. W ed. 'ILD LAND- and improved firms for -ale. Ciirre-pondence -ollcit- office in Young's building, up-stair-. G W. CI.AKK, LAXD AXD JXSVEAXCE AG EXT, HUMPHREY, XEBR. His land- compri-e some line tract. in th -hell reek Valley, and the north ern portion ot PI " county. Tares paid lor non-resident-. Satisfaction guaranteed. iO y c OLLMOtN 1ACKI.U CO., COL UMB US, - XEB., Packer and Dealer- in all kinds of Uoir product, cash paid for Live or Dead Hogs or grease. Directors. R. H Henry. Pre-t.; John Wiggius. sec", and Treas.; L. Gerrard, S. Cory. "V-OTICE XO TEACHERS. J. E. Moncrief, Co. Supt., Will be in his office at the Court House on the third Saturday of each mouth for the purpose of examinins applicants for teacher's certificates, and for the transaction of any other business pertaining to schools. " ct5T-y TAMES NAI,110., CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plans and estimates supplied for either frame or brick building-. Good work guaranteed, shop on 13th Street, near St. Paul Lumber Yard. Columbus, Ne braska. 52Cmo. J. WAGNER, Liverv and Feed Stable. I. prepared to furni-h the public wth good teams, buggies and carriages for all occasions, especially for funerals. Al-o conducts a sale stable. 44 D.T. 3IART-VN. M. D. F. SCHCG. M. D., . Deutscher Art:.) Bra. MAETYN & SCHTIG, U. S. Examining Surgeons, Local Surgeons, fnion Pacific and O.. N. iB.H.R. R's. COLUMBUS. - NEBRASKA. 32-vol2xIii-y JS. MURDOCK & SON, Carpenters and Contractors. Havehad an extended experience, and will guarantee satisfaction in work. All kinds of repairing done on short notice. Our motto is. Good work and fair prices. Call and give us an oppor tunity toestimateforyou. ISTShop on 13th SU, one door west of Friedhof fc Co', store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-v TTP"MQTflTQ TO all. Soldiers that Hii OlUiN O were disabled bv wounds, disease, accident or otherwise, widows, mothers and fathers of soldiers dying in the service or afterwards, from disease which originated while in the ser - vice, are entit'edto a pension. New and honorable discharges obtained for sol diers. Iacrease or Peaniong ob tained at any time when the disability 0 warrants it. All soldiers who were rated too low are entitled to an increase of pen sion. Rejected and abandoned claims a specialty. Circulars free. Address, with stamp, M. V. TIERNE Y, Box 455, Wash EiGTOJf, D. C. 45-12ct COLUMBUS STATE BANK! :;::eacri.: 3mri 1 2i izi tiriir Sslsi. COLUMBUS, NEB. CASH CAPITAL, - $50,000 DIRECTORS: Leaxdek Gerrabd, Prcs'l. Geo. W. Hulst, Vict Pres't. Julius A. Reed. Edward A. Gerrard. Abxer Turxer, Cashier. Baak of Deposit, DIncodbi acid ExchaBS;e. ColIectlostM Promptly .Hade oa Mil Fointx. Pay iMlerest oh Time lepH itN. 274 DREBERT & BRIGGLE, BANKERS! HUMPHREY, NEBRASKA. iSTPrompt attention given to Col lections. ISTInsarance, Real Estate, Loan, etc. 5 JOHN HEITXEMPEK, Eleventh street, opposite the Lindell Hotel, COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA, Ua on haud a full assortment of GROCERIES! PROVISION'S. CROCKERY & GLASSWARE, Pipes, Cigars and Tobacco. Highest price paid for Country Produce. Good- delivered in city. GIVE ME A CALL! JOH. HE1TKEJ1PER. 31-y LOUIS SCHEE1BER, BUitbaiilWagt All kinds of Repairing done on Short Notice. Bnggies, Wag ons, etc., made to order, and all work Guar anteed. Also sell the world-famous Walter A. Wood Mowers. Reapers, Combin ed Machines, Harvesters, and Self-binders the best made. 23Shop opposite the "Tattersall." Ol ive St., COLUMBUS. -2-Gtn-e H. LITERS & CO, BLACKSMITHS AND AVaoron Builders, w Brirk Shop opposite Hrlntz's Dnir .store. ALL KINDS OF WOOD AND IRON WORK ON WAGONS AND BUGGIES DONE ON SHORT NOTICE. Eleventh Street, Columbus, Xebraska. ii0 NEBRASKA HOUSE, S.J. MARMOY, Prop'r. Nebraska Ave., South of Depot, COLUMBUS, XEB. A new house, newly furnished. Good accommodations. Board by day or week at reasonable rates. GTSctM a FirKt-Clam Table. Meals, 25 Cts. Lodgings 25 Cts. 3S-2tf WISE people are always on the lookout for chances to increase their earnings, and in time become wealthy; those who do not improve their opportunities remain in poverty. We offer a great chance to make money. We waut many men, women, boys and sir! to work for us right in their own localities Any one can do the work properly from the first start. The 'usiness will pay more than ten times ordinary wages. Ex" penslve outfit furnished. No one who engases fails to make money rapidly. You can devote your whole time to the" work, or only your spare moments. Full infor mation and all that is needed sent free. Address Stinsox & Co.. Portland, Maine. Our larze GARDEN GUIDE describing Cole's Free t .IX We offer the Latest Nov elties in SEED POTATOES, Corn. Ooats and Wheat, and the Beit Collection or vegetable, Flower, Grass and Tree I vegel IEE. Everything is tested. Address ', COLE, PEL. 45-eow-4p FIRST National Bank! COLUMBUS, Authorized Capital, -Cash Capital, 8250,000 50,000 OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS. A. ANDERSON. Pres't. SAM'L C. SMITH. Vice Pres't. O. T. ROEN. Caihiez. J. W. EARLY. ROBERT UHLIG. II E UMAX OEHLUICH. W. A. MCALLISTER. G. AXDKRSON, P. ANDERSON. Foreign and Inland Exchange. Passage Tickets, Real Estate, Loan ana Insurance. 29-voI-13-ly BECKER & WELCH, PROPRIETORS OF SHELL CEEEE MILLS. MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE SALE DEALERS IX FLOUR AND MEAL. O FFICE, COL UMB US, XE B. SPEICE & NORTH, Genaral Agents for the Sale of REAL ESTATE. Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific R. R. Lands for sale at from S3.00 to $10.00 per acre for cash, or on five or ten years time, in annual payments to suit pur chasers. We have also a large and choice lot of other lands, improved and unimproved, for sale at low price and on reasonable terms. Also business and residence lots in the city. We keep a complete abstractor title to all real es tate in Platte County. 621 COLUMBUS. SEB. LANDS, FARMS, AND CITY PROPERTY FOR SALE, AT THE Union Pacfic Land Office, On Long Time and low rate of Interest. All wishing to buy Rail Road Lands or Improved Farms will ilud it to their advantage to call at the U. P. Land Ofilee before lookin elsewhere as I make a specialty of buying and selling lands on commission; all persons wish ing to sell farms or unimproved land will find it to their advantage to leave their lands with me for sale, as my fa cilities for affecting sales are unsur passed. I am prepared to make n'na! proof for all parties wishing to get a patent for their homesteads. JSTHenry Cordes, Clerk, writes and speaks German. SAMUEL C. SMITH, Agt. U. P. Land Department, 021-t COLUMBUS, NEB. WM. BECKER, PKALEK IN ALL KIXDS OF FAMILY GROCERIES! I KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A WELL SELECTED S I'OCK. Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups, Dried and Canned Fruits, and other Staples a Specialty. Goodfi Delivered Free to aay part of the City. I AM ALSO AGENT FOR THE CEL EBRATED COQUHXARD Farm and Spring Wagons, of which I keep a constant supply on hand, but few their equal. In style' and quality, second to none. CAIX AND LEARN PRICES. Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near A. A N. Depot. HENRY G-ASS, TJNDEETAKEE ! COFFINS AXD METALLIC CASES AND DEALER IX Furniture. Chairs, Bedsteads. Bu reaus. Tables. Safes. Lounges. &c. Picture Frames and Mouldings. t3epairinQ of all kinds of Upholstery Goods. Ctf COLTIMBUS. NEB. O. C. STTATSHSTOT, MANUFACTURER OF Tin and Sheet-Iron Ware ! Job-Work, Soofiae amd Gutter ing a Specialty. EaTShop on Eleventh Street, opposite Heintz's Drag Store. 4&-j 4fr, m'm m Trtm LOVE REPELLED. Within the garden wall he sat. And softly strummed on his guitar And filled the air with dulcet strain. With tenor voice sang this refrain: " Thou art so near and yet so far." The maid ah! could my pen portray The beauty that mine eyes beheld f But no. I'll have to let that stand And tell the story I've in hand. How she his love repelled. She listened as his song arose Above her washtub's sullen roar. ' Tis awful sad," she said, " but then I really can not stand it, when It sounds so like dad's snore." A moment more she listened there And caught the words the singer sun: My heart is sad and pants for thee." His heart is sad and pants for me," And washboard down she flung. Then down the cellar stairs she ran (Sweet smiles her face chased e'en. And. quick returning, brought to view A chain and dog a bull-dog. too And quick threw op the door. The moon had rose above the hill Bright scene to fill the poet's heart When through the night a cry of pain, A rush of feet, a fall, and then The dog has done his part. What's this you've brought, good dog. For me? Some clothing from that man? 4 His heart was sad ' O. now. I see. He's sent some of the 'pants' to me On the installment plan!" Detroit Free Press. OXLY ONE LIFE. I have before me a fac-simile copy of the London Time.-. October 3, 1798. It is twenty-three inches by seventeen, print clear and large. It is a mite in comparison with the Times of to-day. It contains thirty-seven advertisements. There are thousands of country news papers now printed that are larger and more imposing. It is a plain affair. The age of the news items is note worthv. The items from Weymouth were five days old, those from Plymouth foi'x davs, and those from Portsmouth, Harwich and Yarmouth three days. The Times of that date has this item: 'Among the wonders of the present day, Mrs. Siddons" late achievements at Brighton, Bath and London should not be torgotten. She positively performed at each of these places within the in credible short space of ninetv-six hours!" Bath is one hundred and six miles west of London, and Brighton fifty-one miles south. It was a wonder of quick travel that enabled Mrs. Siddons to Dlay in each of these three places, traveling in all three hundred and fourteen miles, and all within four days. To-day if the great tragedienne were alive and 4in condition' she might play in Bath in the morning, give a matinee in Lon don after lunch, and cap the climax by appearing on the boards at Brighton at night. &o far as traveling is concerned, she might accomplish the trip with little fatigue, and have several hours to rest. And just here I am reminded that last week I met a lawyer and his wife in the Pullman car "Thracia." which left Jersey City Wednesday evening and reached St. Louis Friday morning. Their business required haste. Sunday evening they left St. Louis in the Thracia," and were in New York Monday morning at ten o'clock. They had been from home four days and two thirds of a day, had traveled twenty one hundred miles, and after a day and a half in St. Louis had been out only a few hours longer than Mrs. Siddon's "incredible short space of time." In fact, if Mr Booth should choose to do so, he might play in New York Monday night. in Chicago Thursday night, and in New York the second time Saturday night the same week. But this is mixing the old and the new not very disagreeably, however. The fac-simlle Times of "October 3, 1798, has one item of news that is in several respects noteworthy. It an nounces Nelson's victory of the Nile. That battle occurred on the 1st of Aug ust, and was not known in London un til the 2d of October. Two months were occupied in transmitting the news: "The official news of thejjlorious victory obtained by Admiral kelson over the French Fleet, near Rosetta. arrived at the Admiralty yesterday morning at quarter past eleven o'clock." It is very likely the continent was not in a condition to make traveling safe for an English courier And so Captain Capel hatf to sail through the Straits of Gibraltar, taking two months to carry "the glorious news" to England. That night "the illuminations were general throughout the metropolis and its neighborhood. And all ranks of the people seemed to participate in the glorious news." And after the play it was Mr. Kemble that night, the news of Admiral Nelson's victory "pro duced a burst of patriotic exultation, that has rarely been witnessed in a theater." The audience sung "Rule Britania" and then sung it again with "the loudest and most fervent acclama tions we have ever witnessed." They rounded out with "God Save the Kins." Two months to get the news of kel son's victory of the Nile to London! that is a fact to keep in mind. Now no battle can be fought anywhere in the British Empire without the Londoner knowing all about it in the next day's Times. And if the victor- be on the right side or the wrong "he will say "God Save the Queen." But to think of the victory of Wolseley over Arabi taking months or even " two days in getting itself reported in London ! Surely the world has been "marching in" with big strides as if with "seven league boots.'" I am here reminded of an incident which affords a point of comparison be tween the "old times" and the new. In 1781 Ashbel Green and Samuel Beach, of Hanover, entered junior, half advanced, at Princeton. The former became a noted man. In 1785 he wag valedictorian, and had the honor of ad dressing Washington. The two Han over classmates Decame tutors in the eollege. In 1785 Beach's health broke down and he removed to Charleston. He wrote a Jetter to his father, who in the stilted stvle of the day, he addressed as "Honored Sir." In "that letter oc curs the reference which is to serve as the point of comparison. He mentions the fact that his father's letter had been only twenty days in its passage from New York to Charleston! It seemed to him very wonderful. But now the I lastest Guion steamer can cross the At lantic twice in that time, with time to change cargoes and stock the ship. In fact we liv in a day when won ders, that are almost miracles, go un noticed by us. A while ago. a Newark banker asked Fisk & Hatch, in Wall street,, if they wanted a hundred thou sand dollars of United States bonds of a certain kind. The city banker at once engaged his friend in an animated conversation about Newark. In a few minutes it seemed but a short time the Wall street man said to the Newark man: "Yes, we will take the bonds." And wkea the transaction wag completed, aid: " It may interest you to know that while we were-talking about your wie-awke city, I had telegTaphebi to oar correspondent in-Germany a de- scription of the bonds and the question if they would buy them. And I received their answer in the affirmative!" Think of Captain Capel two months conveying the news of Kelson's victory of the JTile to London in 1798. antl Samuel Beach magnifying the wonders of the mail in 1790, which had carried a letter from New York to Charleston in twenty days! The comparison is sharp and gTand. While in the humor for it I torn to an old paper, the Ohio Gazette, pub lished in Marietta. August 8, 1805. The settlement was then seventeen vears oia. an thirteen vears enough neoDle ,--... .-.i had settled north of the Ohio to torm a rJ A State. The State of Ohio was not four j years old when this newspaper was printed. It contains an advertisement I for a runaway slave and President Jef- ! ferson's Proclamation as to land sales ' at Cincinnati, Chillicothe and Marietta. ' It has some gossip about Madame J. Bonaparte "the beautiful and accom plished young lady, Elizabeth Patterson, o5a!timore." It has some news items from France and England, as recent as May 10, from Georgia, June 6. and Vin cennes, on the Wabash, June 12. The editor is severe on the failure of the mails from the East, especially from Washington to the Capital of Ohio Chillicothe. When the contractor was interviewed he explained the repeated failures by saying: "Post-rider had lost his horse!" Post-rider taken ill!" And the editor asks: "Will this be taken as a sufficient excuse for the failure of a mail? If -jo. adieu to all regularity and expedition of conveyance." A post-rider and a horse in charge of the mail from Washington to the Capi tal of Ohio in 1805! What a prodigious stride from that to the "National Road," and to the splendid stage coaches of Neill, Moore Sr Co.; and from the last to the hundreds of railway trains that hourly rush into and out of'Ohio and all the States and Territories that lie be tween Marietta, the starting point, and San Francisco, the stopping point ! And it has not taken long only one life. Thurlow Weed was a year old when London received the news of the Nile victorv of Nelson stale news, two months old. He was eight when the Ohio editor was so fierce on the " Post rider and his horse" carrying the mails from Washington to Ohio" and the great journalist is only just dead. The Mail, the Railwav, th'e Telegraph, the Tele phone anything more? Purely we are in the midst of "latter-dav glories." Joseph F. Tuttle. D. D.."in X. Y. In dependent. The Late John Brown. A London letter says: Nothing more curiously marked the" exceptional char acter of Brown's position than the title " Mr." accorded to him in his lifetime as now in the court record of his death. He was first a gillie, then a footman, then personal servant, and it is not usual in this country to address persons in that rank of life with quite so much cere mony. Many worthy people were puz zled to know why a man who rode in the dickey and held an umbrella, and stood behind the Queen's chair at din ner and passed the plates, should be thus distinguished. It is enough to an swer that the Queen so willed it. To others than the Queen John Brown was not always an acceptable personage gave himself airs, said many. In these days it is enough for a man'to die to be at one endowed with everv virtue and charm, and no Enjlish voice is raised to mar the beautiful harmony of the panegyrics upon a man whom the Queen liked. But while he lived it was possi ble to hear queer stories. There was one of his holding out his hand to Lord Beaconstield on the railway platform at Hughenden, when Her Majesty paid a visit to her beloved minister? Lord Beaconsfield. they say, did not seem to notice the proffered greeting. This lit tle anecdote rests on the reputed au thority of a lady who was present. Here is another, which I know to be true. A servants' ball was given some years since at Balmoral, guests and members of the royal household, as the custom is on such occasions, taking part. Among the dances was some sort of competitive Highland reel, wherein the object of each performer is to dance down all the rest; to which end it is permitted to any one to disconcert and even totally upset a rival by an adroit twi.-t of the hip, the elbow "perhaps as sisting. Now John Brown was a pro ficient in this sport, and it was his wont to carry off the palm and outlast all ad versaries, to the great contentment of the Queen, who looked on. But t.2re chaneed upon this occasion to be present a certain gentleman skillful at this dancing business, and cunning withal. He. watching his chance when" all but himself and the faithful John Brown had quitted or been driven from the floor, by a sudden but quite lawful stratagem, overthrew the Queen's fa vorite, who fell at her feet, and so was balked of the distinction of victory on which he and his Sovereign alike" had set their hearts. The victor paid dearly for his triumph. Before this little in cident he had been in the high favor of his royal mistress; used tol)e sent for of an evening to the royal apartment, where talk and music were to be had, and enjoyed the marks of the Queen's esteem. But after he had thus pre sumed to vanquish her majesty's chosen personal attendant, this unhappy gen tleman languished in the outer courts of the palace, and not for more than two years afterward was he fully restored to favor. Other stories of a not less illus trative character I might also tell, but perhaps this is as much" as you arelikelv to care for about the worthy Brown. Left a snug sum of money behind him, s,a muse iiKeiy to Know, ana there are tradespeople "by special appointment to her majesty" who will regret the disappearance of her majesty's specially appointed servant. The Modern Duello, "I demand satisfaction, sir." "Sir, you shall have it." "I will fight you. sir. With pistols, sir. And balls. At ten paces, sir." Terv well, sir." i Second day "You insulted me grosslv. 3ir- "I had cause, sir." "ou did sir." "Why, sir?" "Because, "Ah, sir, that may alter the mat Third dav "But where shall we sir?" "In Canada, sir." "Too for me. sir.'.' "Then in South not. sir." ter." fight, cold Carolina, air." "Too hot for me, sir." Fourth dav "I am cooler, sir." "So am I, sir." ""But I am not afraid to fight you, sir." "Nor I you. sir." "Still, we might see if our honors may not be satisfied without bloodshed. sir.' "True, sir." sir?" "We will, sir." withdraw the remark fensive senss, sir." " "bhall we try. Fifth day "I in its most of- I am satisfied, "Let us burst X. Y. Graphic. Lsu. "so am I. sir." some champagne, sir."- A-pew in Grace2rarci,.New-roil-t was soioVat auction the-othar dainfai 12,200. -v PERSONAL AND LITERARY, Joaquin Miller rises to remark that the daily newspaper Is " the six-shooter of Eastern civilization." Every man must have one or fall to the rear" of the j procession. Henrv D. McDaniel, who was elected Governor of Georgia recently, is worth about .550,000, andlias a practice as a lawyer worth from $3,000 to $4. 000 per year. Leo Xm. seeks relaxation in the composition of Latin poems, all of which are printed under his careful . simomrini, ,frr i fn.- pnnU lvir -.- w w M w M XS 4 - fc fc fe & & W kW W IB v x been taken tse type is distnbutetL George Alfred Townsend has bought a house in Xew York with the proceeds of his pen, which, like a good hus band, he has promptly given to his wife, and in which he expects to end his lit erary days. X. Y. Graphic. The venerable senior and Presiding Bishop of the American Episcopal Church, Dr. Smith, may be said to have sufferers. Mississippi, Georgia and Al been a citizen under every President of abama. and the borders of Tennessee the United States. He was five years ; od South Camlina ?ir mnm nr W J old when General Washington died. Representative Holman's home, in Dearborn County, is about seven miles from the county seat, where he prac tices law. He goes down on the rail road in the morning, comes back to dinner at noon, goes down to court again before two o'clock, and returns home in the evening. He has done this for years. Indianapolis Journal. Keppler. who has gone far to the front as the leading AnWtcin cartoon ist, sailed for Europe a few days ago. Five years ago he was employed by a leading publishing house at "a paltry salary of thirty-five dollars a week, and he is now -aid to be worth over half a million. His health, is. however, com pletely shattered, and his European tour is solely for the purpose of recov ering his "shattered system. X Y. Times. Postmaster-General Grosbam is the sixth member of the Cabinet from. In diana since the organization of the Gov ernment. These were the following: Caleb B. Smith, Secretary of the In terior, 1S61 to 1863: John P. Usher, Secretary of the Interior. 1SC3 to 1865: Hugh Mct'tilloeh, Secretary of the Treasury. 1865 to 1879: J. N. Tvner. Postmaster-General. 1876 to 1877; R. W. Thompson, SecreUrv of the Naw, 1877 to 1880 There have now been sixty years of American novels for it ia about that time inoe Cooper dashed into promi nence with his "Spy" and his sea tories, and his character of Leather stocking. He was our forlorn hope for some years since Irving could not properly be called a uuveli.-t; but now our authors like misfortunes " come not .-iugle spies, but in battal ions." and there is a ruck of novels, good. bad. and worse. In November next four hundred years will have passed since the birth of Martin Luther, and a new edition of the reformer's works is announced as one of the proposed modes of doing him honor which Germany will adopt. Hitherto the best edition " of his Latin and German works has been that pub lished at Erlangen. 1826-1857. and in a second edition." 1861. That edition will be supr-eded by the new one. The German Emperor has presented the necess-nr funds for the undertaking. and the Prussian Ministry of has appointed a committee to tend it. X. Y. Herald. Worship superin- HUjIOROUS. Business conducted on sound iples. The telephone. pnn- If a ship-owner wants to auction off his vessel he should not put to sea in a storm. He might lose the sail. X. Y. Xeics. " You are young man a great coquette, said to a MadUon avenue voung ladv. I plead jiltv," was her response. Harlem Times'. Th aisle of a church is not the proper place for a .-exton with squeaky boots. He should trv some other kind of "ile." X. Y. Advertiser. Mulcahv savs the statement that John Roach's ship is the first iron ves , i sel launched in America is a mistake, as Mrs. Mulcahy frequently launches iron vessels :xc him. Boston Com msrrial Bull' tin. Mrs. Spaggins was boasting of her new house. The windows, slie said, were stained. "That's too bad: but won't turpentine or benzine wash it oft-?" asked the good Mrs. Oldboy. Burlington Haickeye. Samuel Gunn was recently ar raigned in a local court for intoxica tion. When he shot his breath at the Judge the latter remarked that it w as evidently a muzzle-odor, but he couldn't permit a discharge. Ycmkers Gazette. He stood before her holding both her hands in his and he asked softly: "Why am I like a railroad train?" "Because vou never get anything to eat?" "No, my own, it is because I hold two-wrists." Pittsburqh Tele- j graph. The editor wrote that "he was a member of an old family of musicians." and when it appeared in the paper it read "a member of an old family of nuisances." One assertion was just as true as the other, but the editor nearly swore. Xorristown Herald. "I don't want no rubbish, no fine sentiments, if you please," said the wiilo-.v who was asked what kind of an epitaph she desired for her late hus band s tombstone. "Let it be short and simple, something like this: ' Will iam Johnson, aged seventy-five years. The 'n die young.' " X. Y. Tribune. Two Western sportsmen had talked on one side of a wallow, and were hesi tating as to whether it would do for either to cross the patch of mud for a bird that had been shot. "The end will justify the means," said one. The other glanced at his jean trousers, and then at the mire, and retorted: "Sav, rather, it would mustify the jeans." Rome X. '.) Sentinel. An old head The head of naviga tion. How to know a sail-maker By the " cut of his jib." A bug that still continues to thrive Humbug. The soldier who was at a loss for something to write about, was ordered to " right about face."' When are certain persons who travel in France like dissipated young men? 'When they are on the road to Rouen. Boston Traveler. This is the use to which the tel ephone is put in Iowa, according to an exchange: An eavesdropper " took this off " the other morning when the ther mometer stood at ten below: He (in Lyons) "Is that you. doarest?" She (in Clinton) "Yes, love." He "Put the mouthpiece to vour lips." She "Yes, what?" He (kiss'es) "That!" She "Oh, my! Was that lightning?" H "Did you get it, dearest?'9 She "Yes, love cool and distant, but m wee. Call again." The Tonuule Season. The tornado season has fairly ccm menced, though not in the section of country where its most terrible ravages are usually experienced. Those which occurred early in the month at Hot Springs and Ozark. Ark.. were compar atively harmless, though thirteen lives ' were lost and much property destroyed, , but the Mississippi and Georgia affair was on a scale sufficient to entitle it to be called the inaugural of the season, and from now until August, or even , September, we may look for similar l recurrences in the southwestern part of j the country. The signal service has in ' vestigatedover six hundred tornadoes with . the result of the dis covery that the late spring and summer r are the periods when they are to be ex pected, the larger number occurring in June. This year they have commenced earlier than usual and at points further east than usual, for Kansas, Illinois, Missouri and Town, am the nrincinal ravaged by tornadoes, but this spring being an exception not with such dis , astrous results as attend those which originate in Texas and the Indian Ter- ritory, and travel their northeastern course through the States above men tioned. Although it is early in the season, j the recent tornado is one of the most 1 destructive ever known in this country. As nearly as can be a-certaiued from the conflicting accounts thus tornado entered the continent from the Gulf ol 1 Mexico, crossing the Mississippi a short distance below Natchez without doing auy special damage in Louisiana: at ' this point it divided, one branch going i southeast, the main funnel, however, keeping on its northeastern track, and inflicting the most terrible losses of life and property at Wesson and Beaure gard, in Copiah County. It passed Ab erdeen, in the northeastern part of the State, cro -sod Alabama obliquely with out much damage, and entered Georgia, in Harris County, crossing th Chatfci hoochee River, curiously enough, at the very point where even- storm has en tered Georgia since 1801. the first vear in which a tornado was recorded. It is also curious that it divided on tha Georgia line. jut as it did on the Mrs sissippi line, one branch keeping on its northeastern eour-e. spending itself in South Carolina. whil the other veered into Southwest Georgia. It will be seen, therefore. that it traversed an immense area of ter titory. its damage being spread over live Suites, though the heavy losses are confined to two. A- compared w th the damage occasioned by tornadoe- in 1881 and 1SS2. the results are frightftiL The whole number of lives lost in 1881 was 187. Last year they amounted to 369. By way of comparison a state ment showing the loss of life o c:v- iotied by the worst tornadoes of 1882 will be of interest. 1 April fifty lives were lost at Brownsville, Mo., and Motiticcl lo. La.: in May. eighteen at McAllister. Tex.: in June." 1W at GrinneP. la . and thirteen in Kansas: and in July, twenty-five at Coalville. Pa. As we have said, 369 lives were lost in all la.st year, anil 1S7 in 1881. The complete reports of the loss of life occasioned by the re cent tornado have not yet been sent in, but it is already known that 1 9- per sons were killed. As of the 23 injured many will die. and many counties -wept by the tornado have not yet been heard from, it is reasonable to e-timate that the total loss of life will reach a? Iei-t 250, which is much larger than that oc casioned by all the storms of I v.1. and only one-third less than those of is-j. which was considered an ex.-eptional tornado year. It will also be ol -erved that it has inflicted a lo-s of I'fe more than twice as great as that at Grinnll. In view of such disasters a these and the certainty that they will occur in specified sections of the country at specified times, it is not creditable to science that .these terrible phenomena of Nature are not better understood, and that some means for the protection of human life in the tornado area have not been suggested. Now that science says it has exploded Scriptural revela tions and pretends it has made a myth of an overruling Providence, It would seem as if it might understand these natural phenomena and strip them of some of their destructive power, and no longer let the wind blow where it listethr We fear, however, that it will always remain true that no man can tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth. The most the signal service ha done is to recommend the building of underground dwellings as places of refuge, which is not always practical, and it may be remarked they do not always constitute places of refuge. The only man who hxs made a practical, well-sustained sug gestion with regard to the origin of the tornado is Prof. Tice. of st. Louis, who, notwithstanding his vagaries as a weather prophet and his unfortunate place of residence, is a man of scien tific attainment. His theory is to the effect that the tornado is a" display of electrical energy, and that the mani festations of every tornado, such as denuding trees of their bark and re ducing wood to fibres, are electrical in character, the splintering being oc casioned by the passage of the electric current through the sap, which de composes it into its constituent gases, expanding with terrific force. Whether Tice's theory be true or not. the sub ject deserves more thorough treatment than it has yet received from the hands of the savants. Who is the future philosopher who will bottle the tornado as Franklin bottled the lightning? Chicago Tribune. Railroad Pleasantries. Two engineers of New Jersev had grand fun the other day. Near Bound Brook their tracks run parallel forthreo miles and cross. They brought their trains together on this parallel and un dertook to pxss each other at the cross ing. The engines were very evenlv matched and the engineers were men who dared, so that they came to the crossing together and each undertook to cro-s through the other's train. It was rare fun for the engineers, but in running the two trains through each other, men and women and children were mangled and killed. This may not be anything to complain of. but there is a sort orfeeling in New Jersey that the engineers of these two trains ought to be talked to. Detroit Post and Tribune. This is a recent ordinance in the town of Bellary, India: "Resolved, that as the loose monkeys in the town have become exceedingly troublesome, by attacking women and children car rying eatables, and overturning the tiles of the roofs of the houses in the town, these animals be caught and sen out into the jungles, and that arrange ments be made that monkeys may not psaeire any injury while being ize4' RELIGIOUS A5D EDUCATIONAL; A church is being erected by the Baptists in Salt Lake City. The Spiritualists claim that from nothing thirty-five years ago the num ber of avowed believers now reaches 2,000.000. The law of Massachusetts estab lishing evening drawing schools is said to have proved very successful They hae done much toward encouraging a love of mechanical art. A Chicago court decides that when a boy goes to a private school and pays tuition in advance and then gets drunk and is expelled the school must return the unearned money. The Texas Legislature has given another million acres of land for uni versities and another for common schools, and voted to submit a consti tutional amendment permitting local school taxation. At a Methodist Conference held at Beloit. Kan., the members refused t6 admit or ordain any candidate to tho Conference who uses tobacco, and re quested the Bishop not to appoint any preacher as presiding elder who is in tho habit of using the weed. The Bishop heartily indorsed the wishes of the Con ference. Chicago Tribune. Bishop Riley, Episcopal Bishop of Mexico, has never received any salary., and has given about $150,000 during the past ten years to the Christian work? under his care. These facts are novr made known by the report of a special1 committee representing the Committee on Foreign Missions of the Episcopal; Church and the House of Bishops. The Tablet, of Loudon, publishes an article showing the growth of Ca tholicism among English-speaking na tions. In Great Britain, since 1810. the churches have increased from 522 to 1.461: the laitv. from 539.500 to 1.384. 000. In the United States, in the same period, the churches have advanced from 324 to 5.609. the laitv, from 666, 630 to G. 143.000. The Virginia State Board of Edu cation has accepted the Griffin Farm, near Petersburg, as the site for the Col ored and Collegiate Institute, provided the Citv Council of Peter-burg gives $5,000." The college building will be erected near the spot where the memor able "crater" fight occurred during the war. The amount appropriated by the Legislature for the e-tabhshment of the school is $10O.0M. Mrs. Amanda Smith, the celebrated colored evangeli-t. is evangelizing among the colored people of Grand Bassa. Liberia. She writes that she has given many Bible reading, and that she finds among the women of Li beria a great disposition to study the Bible. She finds strong drink to be the great curse of Liberia, and she is labor ing diligently in the cause of temper ance reform. She will probably make her permanent work in Liberia. In dianapolis Journal. In Scotland last year there was ex pended on public schools the sum of 312.47. of which sum -chools con nected with the Church of Scotland re ceived 23,266: the Free Church schools. 18.215: undenominational schools. 26.2i7: the Epi-eopal schools. 9.393: and the Roman Catholic schools. 2-". GI2. A further point in these school statistics is that the total estimated population of school age is 1.169.913. of whom 656.660 are on tne books of elementary day schools; but, by excluding children under five the age at which education Is compulsory the number would be reduced bv nearly 306,000. A Money-Making Memory. George Harding. Esq.. the distin guishedPhiladelpriia patent lawyer, is rernarKable tor a retentive memory. On Saturday Mr. Harding rode down to Wall street. New York, in a Broad way omnibus. A beautiful youn"- ladv got in and handed fifty cents to the at torney, requesting him to please hand it to the driver. With pleasure." -aid Mr. Harding, at the same time passing the fifty cents up through the hole to the stage man. The driver made the change and handed fortv cent.- back to Mr. Hard ing, who quetly put it Vest pocket and went mowing-machine brief. away into hi on reading a Then all wa.- silence. The young lady began to look nerv ously at Mr. Hard'ug for her change. " Can it be po-sible that this is one of those polite confidence men we read of in books?" sh. thought to herself. Then she looVd up timidly and asked Mr Harding something about the Brooklyn Ferry." " Oh, the boats run very regular every three minutes." replied "the in terrupted lawyer, trying to smile. Then he went on reading his brief. " Do the boas run from Wall street to Astoria?" continued the young lady. "I don't know, madame." replied Mr. H.. petulantly: "I'm not a resi dent of New York; I'm a Philadel phian." "Ah! yes" (then a silence). Mr. Harding again buried himself in his brief, while the young lady ahemed, and asked him what the'fare was in tho New York stages. "Why, ten cents, madame ten cents."" "But I gave you fifty cents to give to the driver," interrupted the voun" ladv. "and-" " " Didn't he return your change? Is it possible? Here, driver!" the lawyer continued, dropping the brief and pull ing the stiap violently, "why the dick ens don't you give the lady" her forty cents, sir, fortv cents3" " I did give her the change. I gave lortv cents to vou. and vou out it in your pocket." shouted back the driver. "To me?" said Mr. Harding, feeling in his vest pocket, from which his fingers brought out four ten-cent pieces, "Gracious goodness, madame! I beg ten thousand pardons; but but " Oh, never mind," said the ladr, eying him suspiciously; "you know'a lady in a wicked city like New York has to look out for herself. It's no matte it wasn't the forty cents: but before I left home mother cautioned me against polite confidence men, who look so good outside, but " "Goodness gracious! my dear wom an!" exclaimed Mr. Harding, while all the passengers eyed him with suspi cion. "I assure you " But the stage stopped and the young lady, holding fast to her portemonnaie, got out and fied into the Custom House, while Mr. Harding went on filling up in this form: "Goodness gracious! Did you ever O Lord! what shall I do?" etc. The lawver got so excited that he went back to Philadelphia in a hurry. He even forgot to take a big fee in a mo wing-machine case. He says he'd rather pay ten thousand dollars than to Jet the Philadelphia fellows get bold oj lia uxj. Philadelphia Item.