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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (July 11, 1883)
If ' E L i i t 1ST c THE JOURNAL. TTEDXESDAY, JULY 11, 1883. :t7el at tie ?c:i::o, C:hto, Hot., as aeeiai elas natter. .4 SERIOUS JOKE. A large and sprightly cat. she walked With lightsome steps the strand; A youthful :rab he slyly peeped Out of his house of sand. And, "Oh." he said. "I'll do it sure! KowJoIlyitwMbc!" - And clicked his clawe like castonets. He laujrbed so heartily. - And as Dame Puss "wandered that way, . . . He quickly upward sprung. And nipped the end of her long tail, And closely to it Clung. While "I'm a clever crab," he cried, r "This is the greatest fun Was ever known on April First, Since April First begun!" Not oneVord said that catj but ran -, t Mostatfiftly o'er the ground Until, near by a gray old tree, A gray, old stone she found: And on this stone the crab she whacked, " With whacks but very few, - -When suddenly his overcoat Of shell split right in two. . JThen with one paw she scooped him out. And ddwnncr throat he went, 'Aba o'er her face there spread a look Of deep, feline, content. And "He will laugh no more," she purred, "His joking days are past; ne little thought this April First Would bo his April last." Margaret Eytinac in Good CJteer. BETTY FLirriSS'S AWFUL NEWS. It was to be a famous day in Lichen dell. Thisbe Hopkins was to be May Queen and I was to be her prime minis ter and chief officer of the household all which had been the subject of no end of correspondence between her and me. If no accident happened, I should reach Lichendell on the last day of April before sundown, and have the evening to spend with Thisbe; and she and 1, being sweethearts of long stand ing, would find the time short enough for the many things we had to tell eachi other. But, however ethcrealiziug may be a lover's fancy, it never quite obliterates, in a healthy man, his appetite for din nerat least I'm Mire mine responded pretty promptly to the conductors "half-an-hour for refreshments!" as the train slowed up about noon in front of a jaunty little station. I had gotten the best of two tongue sandwiches, a cup of coffee and a dried-apple turnover, be fore the cry of "al! aboard!" inter ruptecl my festivities. I was hurrying to regain my place when a lady closely veiled I could see she was young and handsome notwith standing came hurrying through the crowd clinging to the arm of a half grown lad. Both had a frightened look, and kept glancing about timidly as if apprehensive of some threatened peril. "Might I ask you to see my sister safe as'far as Blankbiiry, sir?" said the boy, in a tone -wherein shyness struggled with anxiety. ''Certainly," I answered, not a little flattered tliat my appearance had in-, vited such a mark of confidence. The engineer tooted his last warning as I handed the lady up the steps and led her to my own seat, of which Ijavc her half, there being no other vacant place. She was evidently too absorbed in her own thoughts to be inclined to conver sation; and having done all that good breeding required or permitted to break the social ice, I fell back on my own re sources and set to drawing fancy pic tures of Thisbe resplendent in her regal robes and floral crown. "Blankbur!" at hist sang out the brakemau. Hinging open the door. I gave the lady my arm and assisted her to alight. I had 'hardly done so when a rough hand sereed my collar. "So you're the precious rascal that's running away with my niece, are you?" shouted a plethoric old gentleman, pur ple with rage and reckless of conse quences to his blood-vessels. I tried to shake off his grasp and get back aboard the train, already begin ning to move, but his grip was like a ice "No you don't!" growled my captor through his teeth. "I've just had a telegram from my brother to keep a lookout for his runaway daughter and her puppy of a sweetheart, whose flight he fortunately discovered without loss of time. I've never seen you before, but I don't intend to let you go till we're better acquainted." I made another vain attempt to get loose, but the old sinner was as strong as a horse, and 1 had the mortification to see the train move rapidly away: and, oh, horror! neering from one of the open Avindows was the face of Betty Flippins, the most unmitigau'd gossip and mischief-maker in all Lichendell! If her lanky, flaxen curls had been Medusa's snakes, and her countenance the gorgon's own. my sense of petrifac tion could hardly have been greater. Before the sun went down it would be as current news in Lichendell that I had been caught eloping with a beautiful young ladv, a if the town-crier had proclaimed the fact in every street. Betty's derisive smile left no doubt that her keen eyes and ears had lost not a single circumtance. As I turned in desperation to face the irate uncle. I caught over his shoulder a glimpse of the fair cause of my pre dicament a? she leaped nimblv fnto a waiting0 carriagerof which the blinds were quickly pulled down as it rapidlv moved off. "Let go, you old grizzly!" I shouted in a fur- "let go, I say, or your gray hairs shall not protect you!" -"Gray hairs be hanged!" he bellowed; I can easily serve out two such whipper snappers as yourself! "See here, 'Squire,1 he called to a portly, jolly-faced man, whose attention the disturbance had attracted "which is it, burglary or grand-larceny, to run off with another man's daughter?" "Neither. I am afraid," returned the 'Squire, "espcciallv if the ladv is will ing." "You don't sav that's law?" "I'm afraid it'is." "I can't hold him, then?" "Not lawfully." "Then the "law's a dunderhead, I say!" And with a shove and a kick, which latter I dodged and which cost the old reprobate his equilibrium, and I was senLabout my business. Vhatwas" my chagrin to learn that no other-tralnvould stop there till six o'clock 'next morning! I couHln't possi bly reach Lichendell to take part in Thisbe's coronation; besides, she Avould hear Betty Flippin's awful storv, and set me down as the most perfidious of men. btay-j-rvmight ...send her a tele gram explaining all. Happy thought! hut, unhappily, too soon to end in dis appointment. . The wire conimunicatr ing with Lichendell was out of workino order! There was bothfng for if but to "wait. Amid a rattling fire of titters I struck for a shabby little, inn and secured a room in which. I Tcept close till train time next morning. It was , past, noon when I reached Lichendell: and from the station I went directlv to the grove selected for the- tlav's observances. There, on a throne gorgeously i be decsietL sat Thisbe ".arrayed -as never was Solomon in all his glory, a crown of brightest flowers on her head and a erlanaed scepter in her hand. Her :e was beautiful, but not hapm. "Was it the cares of state that robbed it of its miles, or was niy own defection in part to blame? 2 I hurried 'forward to make my obei aance; but instead of graciously extend img the tip of her scepter, she gave me withering. flash of scorn as she turned queenly head to give some ttt- perial order to her chiel courtier, NIc Cadgers, an insufferable jackanapes whom I had more than once been tempted to cuff for his impertinent at tentions to Thisbe. I attempted to speak, but she would not hear, and I was about to retire in confusion when a lady and gentleman approached. In an instant Thisbe's face brightened. Descending the steps of her throne with a haste anything but queenly, she and the other'lady caught each other in a close embrace, and exchanged kisses with a profusion that to many of us seemed not a little wasteful. "You don't know how glad I am to see you, dear Euphrasia!'" cried Thisbs, her crown all awry and her scepter at her feet. "It seems an age since we've met, Thisbe dear!" returned the other. Then the kissing" had to be done all. over again. "But I've 'forgotten to introduce my husband," Euphrasia added. - His name's Augustus Wagett. My old friend and schoolmate, Thisb Hopkins, Gus, and ho! who's this?" turning to myself "as I live, Gus, here's the kind'gentlcman who took such nice care of mcron the train yesterday, and got into such a scrajHj with that dear old bear, uncle Fcstus 1'ilgrew, and gave me the chance to play him the slip!" Thisbe gave me a look both gracious and sweet, and it wasn't many minutes till I was basking in the sunshine of her court, vice Nic. Cadgers deposed. X. Y. Ledger. Whbtliag. Captain Burton tells us how the Arabs dislike to hear a person whistle, called by them el sifr. Some maintain that the whistler's mouth is not to be purified for forty davs, while, according to the explanation of others, Satan touching a man's body causes him to produce what they consider an offensive sound. Th natives of the Tonga Islands, Polynesia, hold it to be wrong to whistle, as this act is thought to be disrespectful to God. In Iceland the villagers have the same objection to whistling, and so far do they carry their superstitious dread of it that "if one swings about him a stick, whip, wand, or aught that makes a whistling sound, he scares from him the Holy Ghost," while other Icelanders who consider themselves free from super stitions, cautiously give the advice: "Do it not; for who knoweth what is in the air?" However eccentric these phases of superstitious belief may appear to us, it must not be forgotten that very simi lar notions prevail at the present day in this country. A correspondent of Notes and Queries, for instance, relates how one day, after attempting in vain to. get his dog to obey orders to come into the house, his wife tried to coax it by whistling Avhen she was suddenly interrupted by a servant, a Roman Catholic, who exclaimed, in most pite ous accents, "If you please, ma'am, don't whistle everytime a woman whistles the heart of the blessed Virgin bleeds." In some districts of North Germany the villagers say that if one whistles in the evening it makes the angels weep. Speaking, however, of ladies in connection with whistling, it is a wide-spread superstition that it is at all times unlucky for them to whistle, which, according to one legend, orig inated in the circumstance that while the nails for our Lord's cross were "being forged a woman stood by and whistled. Curiously enough, however, one very seldom hears any of the fair sex indulg ing in this recreation, although there is no reason, as it has been often pointed out, why they should not whistle with as much facility as the opposite sex. One cause, perhaps, of the absence of this custom among women may be, in a measure, due to the distortion to the features which it occasions. Thus we know how Minerva cast away with an imprecation the pipe which afterward proved so fatal to Marsyas, when she beheld in the water the disfigurement of her face caused by her musical per formance. There are numerous in stances on record, nevertheless, of ladies whittling at public entertainments, and charming their audience with the grace ful ease with which they performed such airs as "The Blue fiells of Scot land," or "The Mocking Bird." In deed, not main years ago, at a grand provincial concert, two sisters excited much admiration by the clever and artistic way in which they whistled a duet Gentleman's Magazine. - How a Locomotive was Raised trem a River. The feat of raising a huge freight engine from the mud in Bush River, on the Philadelphia, Wilmington & Balti more Railroad, below, Havre-de-Grace, was successfully accomplished yesterday. The engine fell through "the draw bridge some time ago. The difficulties of the feat may be imagined when it is understood that the engine was several feet below the water surface and com pletely imbedded in the mud. The wreck ers have been at work a week, the first thing accomplished heing the placing of heavy chains beneath the great mass of iron. Two divers sent down for this purpose were compelled to dig several feet under the soft mud at the bottom of the river. The chains were made taut to four heavy scows, which were filled with water at low tide. Everything be ing satisfactory, the water was pumped out of the scows, thus tightening the chaius about the engine. When the tide began to rise the engine was pulled a few feet from the mud. Then other scows were brought, and when the tide was again low water was pumped in and the chains fastened to them. The tide went up again, and so did the engine, which came to the surface. After this had been repeated a number of times the engine was swinging clear of the water, and was then placed on a large float, only slightly damaged, and wanting but a few repairs to make it as good as before its tumble in the river. . The railroad will now take charge of its fished-up property and tow it to the river bank, near the railroad track. To that point, when the tide is high, a temporary track will be built connecting with the rail road, and when the tide has fallen suffi ciently to place the wheels of the engine on a level with the temporary structure the engine will be then run on the wharf and to the main track. It will be taken to Wilmington and repaired. It cost $1,000 to fish the engine out Philadelphia Record. His Papa's Same. There was a bright little bov between two and three years old picked up as he was wandering on the street and carried to the Four Courts, where he took a seat on the railing in front of the Central Sta tion, stuck out his chubby legs and stared at every one who came m without being the least abashed. As is customary in such cases, an endeavor was made to elicit information from him that might lead to his restoration 'to his distracted parents. The little fellow appeared willing to tell all he knew. "What's your name, young man?" they asked him. "Jimmie Rearden," he lisped. "What's vour papa's name?" "Papa." " "But what does your mamma call him?" The cherub's -face lightened up with pleasure at being able to furnish the desired information, as he answered: "She tells him, you old divole, you." The examination was postponed. SI Louis Republican. The largest man in the British ser vice is Lieutenant Southerland, of the Fifty:sixth Regiment He is eight feet four inches high, and weighs about three kindred aad sixty-four pounds. Stage-struck Tenths. " The recruiting season has opened," said Manager Gilmore, of the Grand Central Theater, yesterday, tossing over to the reporter a pile of letters from amateurs who wanted positions as clog dancers and banjo pickers. ' After tell ing an attendant to send away a man who had been importuning him for months for a heavy salary in the role of the executioner of Irish breakdowns, and who had come to demand payment for a rehearsal which had satisfied even the scene-shifters of his incompetency, Mr. Gilmore remarkedthat during the past week he had received thirty-four epistles from alleged artists of both sexes. Nine of the writers were ladies', and one. of them said .she looked like Mary Anderson. Another was, in her own words, "immured in a dark and pitifurboarding-school, and'her request was that the -courteous and obliging manager should come with a ladder, release her f rom.her' tyranhioal oppres sors and place her, on the stage. When a school girl of a romantic imagination quarrels with her guardians about her allowance of pocket money she in variably threatens to take the stage and become independent. The drug clerk who is censured by a coroner's jury for helling prussic acid for cod-liver oil, and who, as a consequence, is thrown out of work, rushes to a desk and writes a play or'indites a letter to Manager Gil more. "I used to be a night-watchman," remarks one of the letters which have come to the theater during the past "few days, '"and it made me thoughtful. 1 spent a great deal of my titao repeating verses from Shakspeare in the lonely-night, and I always chose the -solemn ones. "I think I could act tragedy." An answer was forthwith sent offering the fellow a position of fifteen dollars a month as bill-sticker. The next i&ni in the heap of letters was one from a man named Hancock, who had spoiled sixty-eight sheets of miner with a fearful drama, lie wanteu to play leading murderer, page occurred the sentence, rection Here die:' ou the On the first , "Stage di- sccond was the inspiring remark. "Pinguet slavs Mako;" and in another act a repeating rifle plavs havoc with a lot ot bonier ruffians. "The other night I felt wake ful," Mr. Gilmore-remarked, throwing the drama into the drawer, "and I read about thirty pages of it. T don't hesi tate to say 'that I wouldn't place it on the boards for $1,000 a porfornufhee. The writer wrote to me a day or two ago to send the play back, and I neg lected to do so. Yesterday I received a lawyer's letter, threatening a suit for hundreds of dollars' damages for will fully preventing other managers from snapping it up. ' "We sometimes have a splendid time with these amateurs." Mr. Gilmore re sumed, getting tired of the letters. "Stage madness, which is a thing of itself, deprives those afflicted with it of all sense of being ridiculous. They will let us daub thorn all over with mu cilage, paint them all the colors of the rainbow, and bang them about at our own sweet will. A week ago two broth ers, who thought they could sing, hop and perform a great 'guitar act, got on the boards by sheer gall' to rehearse before the stage carpenters, call boys and a few mei who were cleaning trom bones and things. They screwed their faces up and commenced together, l go, inv love, I go.' when suddenly they both went. Where do you think the went, though? It was through two traps that had been purposely .unfast ened and down into two crocks of thick bill paste." "A niancMne to me with a sealed letter of introduction from a Baltimore manager," he continued. " It was worded to the effect that the bearer was of no use to any one. and that I might kill him if I liked. I gave him the part bf a good-goody dude, who was to go into a saloon and discourse virtue and morality to the assembled 'toughs.' His speech was about four feet long. As soon as the saloonists saw him they made' in his direction. Well, sir, I lon't think I ever saw such a used-up man as he was after they got through with liim. They wasted a bag of flour over his clothes, rubbed his face in a blacking-pot and rolled him around on the stage. To all intents and purposes they played base ball with him. He came to me afterwards panting with rage, but I explained that it was all in the play. He said he had not been warned, but had been made to learn a speech which it was never intended he should deliver, and he went away." "Yes, this is the time of year that they all long for the stage," the face tious manager went on. "I believe spring has some peculiar effect -on the brains not only of poets but of stage struck heroes. Do dudes ever apply for places at the theater. Certainly, I should say so; butthev want to play dude roles, which makes them objec tionable. Once a man named Johnson came to me and said that he liked to visit the theater every night and not pay anything. I told him that I was sorry 1 could not oblige him, but I was not doing business of that kind. He hastened, however, to explain that he wanted to be a clacquer! Now, that is a position that is almost unknown in this country, but I thought I would guy him. I therefore told him to get brass heels put on his shoes and come along. After I had prompted him in waiting as to when he should applaud, I gave him a good front seat. Presently one of the actors remarked: I have an appoint ment to keep, I must go.1 At this our friend with the metallic heels began stamping his feet, clapping his hands and shouting. As he was the only man in the house that moved, the effect was laughable, and every one looked at him. He repeated this two or three times during the performance, made himself the laughing stock of the audience, and then resigned." rnnaaeipliia ltmes. A Delighted Apple-Woman. Of ex-Mayor Green, of Boston, the Gazette of that city relates the following story: "A poor old apple woman form erly had a stand in front of the United States Court-house, at the corner of Temple Place and Tremont Street Some time ago she was ordered away, and she moved her stand to one locality after another, but neither her customers nor her profits followed her. The ex Mayor learned of her misfortune, and comforted her with the assurance that he would see to it that she got a good location again if she would be patient He accordingly addressed a personal letter to the Secretary of the Treasury in Washington, telling that official of the apple woman's misfortune, adding that she was the mother of fourteen rosy-faced children. The'ex-Mayor for warded the endorsement of Assistant United States Treasurer Kennard. Dis trict Attorney Sanger, and United States Marshal Banks, and an application was promptly forwarded to Washington re questing that the apple woman be al lowed to resume her old stand. A prompt response was received, and di rections were sent to the proper official here to allow the apple woman to oc cupy her old place. The directions were promptly obeyed and the apple woman is happy." A cure for rheumatism an English doctor has found in total abstinence from food. He declares that many cases of acute articular rheumatism have been cured by fasting from four to eight days, while chronic rheuma tism was alio alleviated. No medicines were given, but patients could have cold water and lemonade in modera tion. The doctor states that rheuma tism is only a phase of indigestion, and, therefore, can be cured by giving complete-and continued rest to all the di fettive organs. Chicago Herald Death on the Ocean. . - A terrible memorial of the recent dreadful loss of the steamship Navarre was fished up a few days ago by a smack, whose people foun'd m their trawl the bodies of a man and woman tied together, with their eyes bandaged. Probably the mysterious deep never yielded up a secret more shockingly suggestive than these corpses. Whether the man and woman were a married couple, or sweethearts, or brother and sister, we know not; but their bodies, fastened together in death, tell a mov ing story of devotion, just as their bandaged eyes convey a most pathetic picture of resolution and anguish. In the wreck of the Cimbria it will be remembered that the survivors spoke of j seeing some of the emigrants at the hist moment cutting their throats to shorten the final struggle. Most nar ratives of disaster at sea contain pas sages of this kind, telling how those who seemed of a shrinking and timid nature when all was well stood forth most noble and perfect types of heroes when danger was supreme; how the swaggerer, the bully, the tyrant proved an abject cur, casting himself down up on the deck in his terror, alternately praying and shrieking in the agony of his fear; how some, unable to await the approach of the last moment, destroyed themselves, while others, with folded arms and contracted brows, stood mo tionless upon the sinking hull, going to their death like men lost at thought. ; One of the most pathetic stories in J the language is the account of the loss J of the Kent East Indiaman bv fire in ! 1825, for the reason that a hundred par- j ticulars are introduced by the writer relating to the behavior of the people when all hope was abandoned, and death seemed inevitable. We read of the little children who, when the flames had mastered the ship, and all was up roar and horror on deck, "continued to play as usual with their toys in bed, or to put the most innocent and unreason able questions to those around them;" of a young military officer 'removing from his writing-desk a lock of hair, and placing it in his bosom, that he might die with that sweet keepsake upon his heart; of another writing a few lines to his father and inclosing it in a bottle, "in the hope that it might eventually reach its destination, with tlie view, as he stated, of relieving him from the long.years of fruitless anxiety and suspense which our melancholy fate would awaken;" of the older soldiers and sailors seating themselves over the fore-hatch under which was the maga zine, so that they might be instantly de stroyed when the powder caught fire; of cowards drinking themselves insen sible or writhing in their terror upon thedecks; o.f young girls praying calmly amid a kneeling crowd; of brave men standing collectedly with their on the settine sun, whose light eyes thev never hoped to see again. It wonderful and thrilling picture, is a and how often has it been repeated since in other ways and amid other seas. The last is not, indeed, the worst, but it is among the worst. The Navarre is but one of scores of ships which have gone to their doom oft'ering, before they took the final plunge, the most dreadful of all pictures of human anguish; but the sufferings she embodied seem to sur vive yet, even in her dead, when we hear "of those two corpses tied together coming to the surface, with their eyes blindfolded, and when we endeavor to realize by those devoted silent witnesses from the" bed of the ocean something of the terror and the resolution, the fear and the courage, the wild despair and the passionate supplication to Heaven which made up the picture of that as of all other wrecks of a similar nature. London Telegraph. m a Told Him Where. The old squatter's spirit. A Deputy United States Marshal, hunting for il licit distillers, stopped at a mountain road blacksmith shop in Arkansas. The blacksmith appeared in the door way, and the Deputy Marshal, as it was neither morning norevening, but know ing the directness of expression required by the natives, said: "Good-day, sir." "Good-bye," replied the blacksmith. "I don't mean good-bye; I mean how are vou?" "How am I about what?" "Things in general." "I'm willing." "Willing for what?" asked the Deputy Marshal. "To take a drink." "Say, I want to go to Jones1 Point." "Why don't you go, then?" "Because I want information." "What information do you want?" "That's all right. I'd give five dol lars to know exactly where I am," and he looked around anxiously. "Well, here," said the blacksmith, "if you won't tell anybody that I told you I'll tell you." "I won't tell anybody." "If them whisky makers come around with guns you won't let 'em know that I toldyou, will you?" "No", I swear I won't." "I'm sorter feared. Ride up closer to the door. If Pete Smith and Nath Moore wanter know whar vou got your information you won't- tell 'em, you say?" and the blacksmith looked around anxiously, moved uneasily and looked toward the woods. "No, I'll swear I won't." "An' you'll give me five dollars to tell you exactly whar vou are?" "Yes." "Gimme your money." The money was paid over, and the blacksmith cautiously putting it in hia pocket, looked around again and said: "Now with a promise that you won't blow on me " "I want to know where I am." "You are right here," and dodging through the shop the blacksmith disap peared, leaving the officer no wiser but five dollars behind on futures. Detroit Free Press. m m Caen, in France, has the advantage of being ruled by a zealous Mayor, whose loyalty to the existing regime his worst enemies would find it difficult to gainsay. It seems that the plant known to English people as lamb's lettuce or corn salad has been termed from time immemorial throughout Normandy herbe royale. The Mayor has forbidden the use by street hawkers and others of the seditious appellation. Mache is the word used in polite French circles to designate the plant in question, and mache it must be upon the Nornan marketplace; despite provincial tradi tion and usage. Daniel Haun, of Huntington, Pa., now eighty-three years old, became in sane in 1823, and ever since has been chained in. a room shut out from the world and cared for by his two broth ers, about as old as himself. He escaped onee and went a short distance, but oth erwise has not been out of the house for sixty years, and for twenty has seen no face except his brother's. The Hauns are farmers, live alone as bachelors and are very well oft". Philadelphia Press. A London paper says that nobody except an intimate friend knows where Mr. Parnell lives in London. When he takes a cab from the House of Com mons he invariable drives to Charing Cross, and on leaving the conveyance walks toward the Strand. Mr. O'Kelly shares with Mr. Parnell the secret of his abode. They live together in the same rooms, it is believed, in one ot the side streets of the Strand. General Fitzhugh Lee added over 1 $3,000 to the funds of the Southern His torical Society by his recent lecturing tour throughout the South. FARM AND HOUSEHOLD. No crop should be grown which leaves the soil permanently poorer, or in other words, which docs not pay enough over and above .cost of growing to maintain fertility. Chicago Journal. Idlewild: Two cups of flour, one cup of Indian meal, one teaspoon of cream tartar, half of soda, one cup of sugar, piece of butter the size of an egg, one coffee cup of milk or water, one or two eggs; make stiff as cake. Toledo Blade. Shams intended to be used upon sham-lifters will work better and last longer if wry little starch, is used. They should be made square and' of such a size that when the inner edges touch in the center the o'uter edges will be even with the bed posts. Harper' s Bazar. Considerable difficulty is sometimes experienced in turning under corn stub ble by spring plowing. It is greatly lessened by passing a heavy drag over the field, when as the roofs are loos ened by frost the butts are tipped over. The gain to the oat and barley crop fol lowing will more than pay the expense. x. r. Post. That oft discussed question of feed ing stock may be summarized in- a few words. Let the food be good, and the amount depend upon the age, condition, objects in view and amount of exercise. Feed with great regularity and let there be a variety, rcmeiiiberiiigthat in the young animal flesh, strength and fat are to be formed. Chicago Herald. Horses kept in a close stable, espe cially if underground, are apt to suffer from sore eyes, caused by the ammonia from their urine. A little land plaster or gypsum scattered in the stable will absorb this ammonia and save its valua ble fertilizing properties. Diluted sul phuric acid will do the same, but is not so convenient as the gypsum. X. Y. Herald. The Drovers' Journal says that with all the dangers from disease, hog-raising, though it requires more labor, is really the most profitable business which farmers can engage in where coru is a sure crop. It ' is surprising, also, how many farmers there are who seem to wholly ignore the fact that any other food than dry crn is suitable for swine when it is within their power to keep such stock half or two-thirds of the year on food not nearly so expensive. Difficulty of churning may be caused by lhe feed, no doubt, and the cow may also be at fault. There wilL very often be a difference in time of the churning of the cream of any two cows; and if a cow is given the so-called con dition powders, which contain anti mony, saltpetre, sulphur and other drugs, this will affect the cream." The most common cause of difficulty of get ting butter is the too low temperature of the cream, which should not be lower than sixty-five degrees when it goes into the churn. A cow that is in good health needs no powders of any kind except a handful of salt twice a week in her feed, and if the feeding is always the same and regular, and the milk" and cream are not kept too cold, there will rarely be any trouble in the churning. Conti nental Magazine. The "Why" in Vegetable Cookery. Why should beans never be put into cold water to soak, as is often recom mended? Because all the nutritious portion of the bean is extracted by the process. Thev should be. washed in warm water, then in cold, be tied loosely in a cloth, be put into boiling water, with a spoonful of dripping and a little salt in it, and be kept boiling for four hours. They are then excellent if served with gravy, and not with melted butter. They serve as garnish around roast mut ton or beef, and are excellent eating served whole or as a puree. To make the latter, when the beans are done throw them instantly into cold water, when the skins will "slip off. Rub the beans through a colander, and mix a lump of butter with them. A little stock, or milk, or cream is excellent mixed in. Why should nlenty of fast boiling wa ter be used in ooiling vegetables, pota toes excepted? Because the greater the body of boiling water the greater the heat. If only a .little water is used the whole affair soon cools, and the vegeta bles become tough, so much so that no length of time will render them other wise. Broccoli sprouts in April, if properly cooked by boiling them for eight minutes in boiling water, will be tender as marrow; but, if not properly done, hours will not cook1 them. Why should onions be always cut in round and very thin rings? Because the fibre is thus cut across, and in so cutting "them, whether for frying or for making sauce, they are rendered very tender when cooked. With tur nips and carrots it is just the same; neither of the three should be split or cut in any other way. Why should parsley never be boiled with soda only boiling water and salt? Because parsley, having no oil in it, would be spoiled with soda and all flavor would be extracted. All parsley should be picked free from the stem, be put into plenty of boiling water with salt and in summer be boiled only one min ute, and in winter two minutes, and be strained and chopped on the back of a plate. If only a little water is used in boiling it, the water becomes brown and the parsley tough and ill-flavored. Why should vinegar for pickling with neverbe boiled? Because boiling takes all the strength from it. Whatever vegetables-are to be pickled should first be made soft with boiling water strong with salt and vinegar poured over. Why should two ounces of salt and a bit of" washing soda always be put in the water to boil greens in? Because the salt crisps the greens and flavors them, and the soifa extracts the oil, which is greatly injurious to the diges tion. Germantown (Pa.) Teleqraplk. Lima Beans as a Farm Crop. The Lima,- the most popular bean among amateurs and market-gardeners, is slow in finding its way into the gardens of farmers. The dry'beans sell for several dollars a bushel, and the market has never been adequately sup plied. Lima beans are easily raised, and yield as bountifully as most other pole-beans; and thev continue to blossom and bear until killed by the frost. We know of no reason why they cannot be made a specialty, like hops or tobacco, and grown on alarge scale, They would require better soil and treatment than the common field-bean, but as the price is three times greater, these could well be afforded. A rich gravelly or sandy loam suits them best, and the jdios phatic manures are well adapted to them. On this kind of soil we have not fonnd them to run too much to vines, even with heavy dressings of compost prepared from muck and stable manure. The vine is a strong grower, and requires abundant nourishment. The pods are formed quite thickly from the top to the bottom of ' the poles. They want the full benefit of the sun, and tficrows, running north and south, ".should be four feet apart, and the hills four, feet apart in the row. In planting we prefer to put the eye downwards, and no more than one inch deep. The first of June is early enough for this latitude. This bean needs frequent cultivation until the vines'shade 'the:ground. This crop is well suited for farmers remote from cities and markets. The market gardener will not grow the Lima" beans to sell dry, because they are worth more in the green state, and he can sell all-he can raise. But the farmer, howeverjre mote from the city, can market his whole crop in winter, and be well paid for hia labor. Country Genthmam: - PERSONAL ASP IMPERSONAL. James Robinson, the old circus man snd famous bareback rider, has sold his farm of 920 acres, eight miles from Mexico,' Mo., for S46.000. Dr. Gatling, tho inventor of the famous gun, is a Southerner, but looks like an elderly 'German. He is still hard at work at other inventions, and promises to again surprise the world. .Mrs. Cracroft, the sister of Sir John Franklin, died recently at Dorking at the age of ninety-nine years.- She spent nearly all of her ample fortune in fitting out expeditions to search for her brother. Mrs. John W. lliff is the richest woman in Colorado. Her husband, who died a short time ago, was consid ered the cattle king of the State, and at the time of his death owned twice as many cattle as any ofner ranchman in Colorado. Denver Tribune. George Cleeves, the first settler of Portland, Me., landed upon the south western shore of Casco Bay tWo hundred and fifty years ago. and the people -of Portland and the region round alout propose to celebrate the quarter-millennial anniversary ou the Fourth of July next with ceremonies similar to those of the recent Pcun celebration at Philadel phia. Boston Post. Mr. F. W. Christ, postmaster at Lititz, Pa., who died recently, had not for fifty years, until this spring, missed attending a single one of the peculiar services of the Moravian Church which are held in the Easter morning. burving-ground everv Hewas a member of the National Electoral College and ca his vote for Lincoln jn 1860. Philadel phia Press. Tewfik Pasha, the new Turkish Minister to the United States, is a gradu ate of the military schxl of St Cyr, Versailles, and is Major General in the Turkish army. He was President of the Turkish Military Commission for pro curing arms in America from 1873 to 1879. He was Minister of Finance a short time in 1880. Tewfik Pasha is of medium height, and has a pleasant face fringed by a gray beard. He speaks English perfectly. Rev. George F. Moore, of Putnam. O., who has been chosen to fill the chair of Hebrew, Arabic and cognate lan guages at Andover (Mass.) Theological bemmary, is r. remarkable linguist, and hisVifc'is one of two or three ladies in the United States who can speak Arabic. She passed many years- in Syria and other countries, acquiring a practical knowledge of various tongues. Both Mr. and Mrs. Moore write and speak French. German, Italian and Arabic. Boston Herald. "A LITTLE NONSENSE.! A first-class affair Graduation. Baltimore Sun. Osculation is the art of hitting the popular taste, aud it is mostly hit with a Miss. X. Y. News. "Man should alwavs be graceful," says Dr. Armitage. The doctor evi dently. never wore a collar with a saw edge, nor tried to walk symmetrically with, one suspender broken. Lowell Citizen. "Johnnie," said mamma to her lit tle son, "didn't I tell you not to eat that candy until after dinner?" Johnnie, who lisps, "I ain't eating the candy, I'm only thucking the juithe." Law rence American. Artist (on summer tourj: "Ah! Madam, might I have the pleasure of painting vour picturesque little cot tage?" Country Dame: "Wa'al, I don't know. Guess ye can. Ye might whitewash the fence," too, if ye like. A South end man says his wife's conversation is a perfect wonder. Maybe he means by this that it is brill iant and witty, hilt somehow, in this connection, it Ls difficult to avoid recall ing the saying that wonders will never cease. Boston Post. "Is anybody waiting on you?" said a polite dry-goods clerk to a young lady from the country who had just en tered the store. -"Yes, sir," replied the blushing damsel. "That's my fellow out-side. He wouldn't come in the store." X. Y. Xcws. Even some savages are polite. An English officer dining with a cannibal king was asked what religious denom ination he affiliated with, as it might be more agreeable to him to have the mis sionary about to be served of another faith. Boston Post. "Is this woman your wife?" asked an Arkansas Justice of a colored man, pointing to a woman. "Is what my wife?" "Is that woman your wife? ' "I -don't see no 'onian; I sees a lady, an1 de lady is my wife." "Is this mai your husband?" asked the Justice of the woman. "Dat gen'lenian is my hus band." "Well, lady and gentleman, I have investigated this case, and have decided to send you both to jail for six months." Arkansav Traveler. Plantation Philosophy De human family is so filled wid pride in life dat de desire for show does not stop at death. I's often knovved women ter perfess 'ligion on dar death bed an1 den tell what colored dress dey wanted to be buried in. Ef it tuck as much ob a struggle ter git drunk as it does ter git sober, I neber would hab laid out in de rain all night De machinery ob dis life is a mighty contrary arrangement De thing dat yer oughtenter to do is mighty easy, but.de thing yer oughter 'complish is powerful hard. Arkansaw Traveler. m i Oae ef the OM Steelu Colonel Thurmond, of Athens, an attorney, had an instrument of writing in court the validity of which needed to be proven, and 'which could only be done by the owner of the signature found thereon swearing to the same. The witness was called, and an old gray-haired man, who had lived over his three score and ten, took the stand and Colonel Thurmond handed him the paper and asked: "Is'tbat your signature, sir?" The old gentleman' looked at the old, as it wunst was, but if somebody will loan me a pair of specks,- praps I kin cipher itout1 A pair of glasses were furnished him, and he scrutmizingly gazed at the docu ment again. "Well '."said the lawyer. Tho witness continued to peer at the paper. "Very well." Col. Thurmond said again, waiting for the witness to de cide. "Wa'al," said the old man, "that ar is my fist." "You can come down, sir," said the lawyer. ' Bui instead of "coming down," the old man turned his eyes on the court, and after, gazing at him for some time, he said: ' "Jedge-, is you old man Nath Hutch ing boy?" ' - "He was my father," answered the court "Wa'al, give me yer hand, Jedge, kaze I lovcdyer daddv, and I is awful glad, to see, his boy followin' in his foot marks." The court gave the old man his hand, and after shaking it heartily, the witness stepped from the stand and started out of the court-room. When he had gotten out of the bar, and was about midway the hall, he turned abruptly about, and 'said in rather a load tone of voice: "Here here's them ar specks, if any of youns wants 'cm." The court-room was in an uproar of laughter, hat the old ma sever smiled, as he returned the glasses aadhsftthe houae. mrt (Qa.) South. paper closely, and said: "Wa'al, rll tell yer, Izegitting and my eye-sight are not so good ... i -BBBBMBBBBBBBHBi "Jwl 8 slj pM pS3SS -f----SSSSSBBBBSBBBBSTjBIH-:-!rixS-iaT5g3CyBPj;SB ' EASTWARD. Daily Express Tniing for Omaha. tMi raRti, Kuntn City. St. LoiiU. aiiil nil jx)LiitH Kant. Through cars via l-nri to lniliuii upoliit. Kletfuut I'ulluian 1'nliut- Cnrs timl Day coaches un all thronuh traiiia. tuul D1ii1iij- Cur j cast of Mibscuri River. ThrouL'h TicheU r.t tho T.rFt ltntcs aro I DHKgao will 1k checked t wiH bo cheerfully I uralska DUKgao will 1 clu-cLii! t destination. 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Drum SUiwH SU. awt lis aba Isclada Isjtracllaa aa4 li fer Asatrar Bases iu a t an. --aaaaai Uj iwmm lin mmm WESTWARD. ircaa Trains for Denver, cou- Dnilr Exrr ncctiui: in lit iiion Dfitot lor nil lxmitfl In Colorado, Utuli. California, ami tli. entire Went. Tho advent o! this Hue gives the trav eler n XfW Kouto to.tlit "VVeit. -v ith bcouery anil advantages unoqnallcd visum lioro. on 8alo at all tho iniortaut station, and information as to rate-, routes or limo tables t an n;ei.t. r 10 1. S. i:UsTIS, iii-rul liclcct Agent, umalia, rol. i THE- Special Announcement! SEDUCTION IN PRICE. o otl'er the .Iolk.vai. in t'ombiuation VTe with the American Agriculturist, the best fanner.- niairaiiie in the world, for 3 a year, which includes poaUire ou both. IN ADDITION, we will avml free to ev ery person who takes both papers, a .Magnilicent Plate Kgr:t insrof Dl'PUE'S lat Great Painting, 3f 'I'll 3: .TIKA IMW." mw on exhibition in New York, and offered for -ale at $.,000. Tne eminent Arti-t. F. 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It treats inde pendently of politics and a Hairs. During the year it gives oyer 200 pages of illustra tions, embracing every variety of subject, from the choicest art production to the customs, manners and noteworthy incidents and everyday scenes of every people ; and Cartoons upon events, men and measures. Try it a year, subscription price $2.50 a year. Sample copies and term to agents, 5 cents. Address THE WEEKLY GRAPHIC, 182 & 184 Dearborn Street, Chicago. We offer THo Weekly Graphic in Club with The Columbus Journal For $".!)0 a year in advance. LUERS & HOEFELMANN, DEALERS IK CHALLENGE WIND MILLS, AND PUMPS. Buckeye Mower, combined, Self Binder, wire or twine. Pauips Repaired on short notice ISTOne door west of Hcintz's Store, 11th Street. Columbus, Neb. Drug "DTjICirn nct' "fe ,is "weeping by, W 1iN ! fro and dare before you JlVJLUKJ JL die. .something mighty and sublime leave behind e-mi.iiir" time. a week in your own own. f outfit free. Xo risk. Every thing new Capital not required, e will furnish you everything. 3Iany are making fortunes. Ladies make as much as men, and boys and girls make great pay. Reader, if you want business at which- you can make great pav all the V7& Wir.Ite..r0r J,r,tiUla II. IIALLETT & Co., Portland. Maine. aiy $72 : week made at hom hr th ndustrious. Het in, ;,.., JU now before the iiublic. t:anit.ti D ..... uccucu. n e will start you. Men, women, boys aud girls want ed everywhere to work for us. Now is the time. 1 ou can work in spare time cr &'e.0Ur w.h0,e time t0 lue business. No other business will pay you nearly as welU 2o one can fail to make enormous pay by engaging at once. Costly outllt and terms free. Money made fast, easily Augusta, Maine, 3j.t a .' X i