mim wi
3L.EJ cs --.
a ,-.
BATES OP AlWEMTISUVC;.
liittfill
GTBusineerand professional carda
of five lines or less, per annum, five
dollars.
S37 For time advertisements, apply
at this office.
KTXegal advertisements at state
rates.
BTFor transient advertlsinf, see
rates on third page.
2"7AU advertisements payable
monthly.
I ISSUED KVEUY,. WEDNESDAY? '
M. Iv. TURNER & CO.,
Proprietors and Publishers.
JS OFFICE-Eleventh St., J J fairs
in .torrnal Building. '1 '
;i i a
'. - 1! '
G00:
"i
TKRMS:
3 . , r . a a
PerTear
Six months
Three months
Single copies
MMiMb!:
1 OO
. . ffo
OS
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. APRIL 18, 1888.
WHOLE NO. 675.
CSSe
1W
"k v
X N
BUSINESS CAEDS.
V
DENTAL PARLOR.
On Thirteenth St., and Nebraska Are.,
over Friedhofs store.
jgj-OQlce hour. S to 12 a. in : 1 to r.p. m.
Oi.i.a AMiiiAf:ii, Dentist.
O
lOBKEI'H A JIIM-VA
A TTORKEYS-A 'It LA W, . j
-
Up-stairsiiiClmk UuildiiiK. llti street,
Above the New brink.
TJ .J.. HIIDMOK. .. -
not A i; y r un'i:TC. "
12th Strt.i iliur virid or lUmmoml lloaw,
Columbus, Neb. -
D
It. HI. l.TIH'KSTO.,
B ESI DENT DENTIST. Ak
Oiliee over corner of I lth ami Xorth-st.
All operation-, tirgt-elass anil-warranted.
C
IIIM'AUO UAICHKBt siioi-:
I1KXKY Vl01. I'nop'i:.
B3TKerMhins i lir-t -elas tjle.
AImi keep the best ifciars. ;
p i:i:k a bi:i:wkk,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Office on Olive .St.. olumbui-, Nebraska.
"-'-tf . .
1 (5. A. HfLLIHMtST, A. M-, M. !.,
HOMEUJ'A TUH ' l'H YS1 VI AN,
jgj-Two Itlm-k outb of Court House.
Telephone i-onimlini'-ition. "'
M
(AIJIIIC I1KOS..
ATTonmirs a t la w.
Oiliee upstairs in McA!Iiter' builil-in-.
Uth fSt. W. A.,MeAHiblr, Notary
Public. : ,, . "
J. M. MACKAl(r.ANI) B-." CUV lKl:r,
At:::s.y v&K&ujT&Xi. " ' C:l!c:t:r.
LAW AND t'OMiEmoX -OFFICii
UK
MACrARliAND
2FARiiAND& COWDBRjT,j
,us, :. : - Nrbr-iska.
Columbi
i F.O. 3i. UKBKr. -
VM INTER.
B5T 'arriatfe. house .nut -'ign painting,
jdazin, paper h:iu;inK, kal-oiuiiiins?, cte.
done to order. .Shop on I.'Uh .St., opposite
Kimiue House, -Columbus Xeb. 10 -y
F.
7 Il.ltl 'IH.
Uth St., nearly opp. duck's store,
S U Hanie's-, adilles. Collar'., Whip,
H nket.. Curry Comic, Uriiuhe-, et-.,
at the liie! jio-.-ible pi I. '.. U.-pnir-.
pr inptl atletuled to.
G
w.n..tKi..
LANh AND INSURANCE A UKNT,
HUM mil EY, NEW!.
His land i-onipri' ".oiin line lraet
ill tin Shell ("leek Valle,and the lioilh
em portion ol " PC-tie" eouiiU.-Tav.s
paid lot iioii-re-ideiit-. atil":letioii
guaranteed. 20 y
1
OU1S SCIIHKlttKK,
BLACKSMITH AND WAGON MAKER.
All kind of repairing done on hort
notiee. Itti;:;:ie, Wagon s, ete., made to
order, anil all work guaranteed.
jgyShop opposite the ' Tattersall,"
Olive Street. &
4rii: '!' 'i'a:Ai'iii:KN.
J. E. Moncrief. Co. Supt.,
"Will be iirh"i ollfee at life Court Hoiim
nn the lir.t Sat unlay d" eaeh
month for the purpo.e of examining
:ipplic:iut8 for tcaeherV oertitieates, and
forthe trausaettou'of any other huiiie
pertaining to m1iooN. "t!-y
TANKS 54Al.no,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
l'lan anil e.tim:iteb Mipplied for either
frame or brir-k building. (lood work
guaranteed. Shop on Kith Street, near
St. l'aul Lumber Yard, Columbu, Ne
braska. ."2 Ohio.
J. WAGNER,
Livery and Feed Stable.
Is prepared to furiiih the public w'th
good team., buggies and carriages for all
occasions, especially for funeral. A No
conducts a sale stable. 44
D.T. Maktvx, M. n. F. Stiiu:, M. 1..
(Deutseher Art:.)
Drs. MARTYN & SCHUG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons,
Local Surgeon. Union l'acitic and
O., N.A 15. II. It. It's.
COLUMBUS. - NEBRASKA.
:52- ol-xiii-.
WILLIAM RYAN,
DKAl.KK IN
KENTUCKY WHISKIES
Wines, Ales, Cigars and Tobacco.
jgrScbilz's Milwaukee Beer contant
ly on hanil.
ELEVEXTU ST. COLUMJJUiJ, 'K.
I S. MURDOCK & SON,
J Carpenters and Contractors.
Have bad an extended 6xperlenre, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kiods of repairing dou'e on- short
notice. Our motto is, (Sood work and
fair prices. Call and .give u an oppor
tuuitytoestimatefory'ou. l"Shop on
13th St., one door west of Kriedhof .V
Co's. store, Columbus. Nebr. 4S3-V
Tnn
COLUMBUS FLAX AND TOW C0.?
Are prepared 4.o.reeeive.anQ pay J.".0H"per
ton for good clean tlax straw (free from
foreign substance )--delivered on their
grounds near the Creamery, in Colum
bus Nebraska.
. CULUMUUS FI.AX&TOWCO.,
Columbus, Dec. , lifei " - la-SniH
cpi. i' i ii i;s
Restaurant and Saloon!
E. D. SHKEHAN, Proprietot.
j3TWholc8ale and Retail Dealer in For
eign "Wiues,Liquors and. Cigars, Dulr
liu Stout, Scotch aud English Ales.
tSTKentucky Whishies a Specialty.
OT'STBRSu their season, by the case
can or dish.
L-vi3iiUl.
FIRST
Mati.o.riafBank!
lf C. WJ t .JJ3
COLUMBUS, NEB.
Aiithorizpd Capital,
Cash Capital,
230,000
50,000
OI'FItiKltS AXr IIIKKCTUItS.
A. ANDEIi-soX. I'rcs't.
SA MM. C. SM ITU.. Vice Fres't.
O. T. IU)KS, astier.
, ',i.-u:m:iV,' -'t- X .
' i-",irop.F.i:TTHi:Trv
lli-i:MAN OKI1L1MCH.
W. A. .MrU.LISTHK.
(;. AXDicnoN,
v. anim:.sn.
- Foreign uitt Inland Exchange, Passage
Tickets, Ileal Estate. Loan anil Insurance.
- - , 21-toM.Mv
BECKER A iWELCHj ;
riroruiETous tF
h
SHELL CREEK MILLS.
.MANl'FA Tl'ltEUS ANl WIILE-.-AL'K
DEALEKS IN
.
FLOUR AND MEAL.
ftFKrnie:i'anrJfjfts. xru.
SPE1CE & NORTH,
y ' yy.
tWnefal AgentrfforA,het,SHle.of
REAL ESTATE.
.1 1 ..
-1
Union .Pacitic, and .Midland Pacific
It. It. Lauds Tor sale it from :!. to 1 10.00
per aereifor cash, or on fn e or ten years
time,' in annual payments to suit pur
chasers. "We have alt a large and
choice lot Of other lands, improved and
uuiiiproed, lor sale at low price and
wi reasonable terms. .VNo buiue and
rnndein-i lots thif-city. "We keep a
complete absfVa't of title to all real e8
lato in Platte. Coiinty. - -
(i-ji
,oiYn Ki's. .i:se.
LANDS, FARMS,
A X P -
OIMOWYMSALE.
-AT THE
Union Pacflc Land Office,
Un Luiuj Time ami law rale
of Interest.
All wishing 1 buy llail itoad- Lands
or Improved Farm will tlui! it to their
advantage to call at the V. P. Land
OttJee helorc lookiu elsewhere as I
make a peejallj d buying and selling
lamls on commission; all persons wish
ing to sell forms or ui)iinpio ed land
will liud it to their advantage lo leave
their lands with uic lor sale, as my fa
cilities for atl'ectiiig sales are unsur
paed. I ::m lr'p:iroil to make final
proof for all parties wihiij to get a
patent for their homesteads.
iSriletiry Conies, Clerk, writes and
speaks (ierman.
SAMUEL C. SMITH,
gt. I .P. Land Department,
Cil-v COLUMBl'S, NEIL
WM. BECKER,
11KAI.K1C IX ALU KINDS OK
FAMILY GROC-ERIES !
I KEEP CONSTANTLY OX HAND A
WELL ELECTED STOCK.
Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups,
Dried and Canned Fruits,
and other Staples a
Specialty.
4aOort olivpl 1'roe i any
part of 1 lit' City.
1 AM ALSO AGENT TOIlTIIE CEL
EllItATEI) COQUILLARD
Farm and Spring Wagons,
of Which I keep a constant supply on
hand, but few their equal, in style and
quality, second to none.
CALIi AND LEARN PRICES.
Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near
A. A iV. Depot.
HENRY; -GiASS,
TJISrJDEIlTAJKIEIl !
COFFINS AND .METALLIC CASES
AXI UClLEiriK
Furniture, Chairs, Bedsteads, Bu
reaus. Tables, Safes. Lounges",
&c.Y Picture Frames and
JMrouldings. 3THepairinjof all kiaili 'oi Uihohtenj
C-tC .C.OLI1MUUS, NKK.
I AN CFACTI.RKr'IOK .
Tin aud Sheet-Iron Ware!
t JoL-Work, Roofing and Gutter-
a v
r ing aspecialty.
Tahop'ou' Eleventh Stret,.iup(j1
ES"ahi
-Our Yoaii? Readers.
FOND OF BUTTER.
Nannie Nutter 13 fond of buner.
When lovely summer comes blooming In,
No need to ask, 'mid the grass a-nutter.
Holding a kimr-cnp under the chin.
" Do vou lovo butter" for Nannie Nutter
"Oh," my!" say all, "how she does lovo nut
ter!" Nannie Nutter, so fond of butter.
Always aslcs for more on her bread;
Has even been known to pout and sputter
if mamma objected and some one saU
How could they help it "Why. Nannie Nut
ter Tis butter and bread, not bread and butter!"
With Nannie Nutter. 'tis butter, butter
Hotter on pudding-, potatoes, meat.
Tart, cream-pie. She'd thank jou to shut hor
Into a firkin with nothing to eat
But butter and butter: for Nannie Nutter,
You know, at present is friend with butter.
" Something to eat," they beard her utter
Before the lamps wero lighted for tea.
She was given a slice of only butter;
Tasted a bit- but could not see.
Then spoke this famisblnjj Nannie Nutter:
" Can't I have on It a little butter?"
Oar Little Ones.
BRAVE DOROTHY.
Until she was nineteen years old Dor
othy lived a very uneventful life, for
onu week was much the same as anoth
er in the placid existence of the village.
On. Sunday mornings, when the church
bolls beg-an to ring;, j'ou would meet her
walking over the moor with a spring
step. Tier shawl was ray and her
dress was of the most pronounced color
tliat could be bought in the market
town. Her brown hair was gathered in
a net, ami her calm eyes lobked from
under nn old-fashioned honnetof straw.
Hor feet were always bare, but she
carried her shoes and stockings slung
over her shoulder. When she got near
the church she sat down iti the shado of
a hedge and put them on; then she
walked the rest of the distance with a
cnimi.-cd and civilized gait
Every boat went away northone even
ing, and not a man fetnaiued in the
Row, excepting three very old fellows,
who were long past work of any kind.
When a fisherman grows helpless with
ago, he is kept by his own people, and
his days arc passed in qu'etly smoking
on a kitchen settle or in looking dimly
out over the sea from the bench at the
door. A southerly gale with a south
erly sea cam away in the night, and
the boats could not beat down from the
northward. By daylight they were all
safe iu a harbor about eighteen miles
north of the village. The sea grew
worse aud worse, and the usual clouds
of foam flew against the houses or
skimmed away into the fields beyond.
When the wind reached its height
the sounds it made in the hollows
were like distant firing of sniall arms,
and the waves in the hollow rocks
seemed to shake the ground over the
cliffs. A little schooner came round
the point, running before the sea. She
might have got clear away, because it
was easy enough forher.had she clawed
a short way out. risking the beam sea,
to have made the harbor where the fish
ers were. Hut the skipper kepi her close
in. and presently she struck on a long
tongue of rocks that trended far out
pastward. The tops of her masts seemed
nearly to meet, so it appeared as if she
had broken her back. The seas flew
sheer over hcr.and the men had to climb
into the rigging. All the women were
watching and waiting to see her go to
pieces. There w'as'no chance of get
ting a boat out, so the helpless villagers
waited to see the men go down, and the
women cried out in their shrill, piteous
manner. Dorothy said: "Will sho break
up in an hour? If I thowt she would
hing there 1 would bo away for the
life-boat." But the old men said.
"You can never cross the burn." Four
miles outh, behind the point, there was
a village where a life-boat was kept: but
just half way a stream ran into the sea, ,
and across this stream there was only a
plank bridge. Half a mile below the
bridge the water spread far over the
broad sand and be ame ver3 shallow
and wide. Dorothv spoke no more, ex
cept to say: I!l away." She ran
across the moor for a mile, and then
scrambled down to the sand, so that the
tearing wind might not impede her. It
was dangerous work for the next mile.
Every yard of the way she had to splash
through the foam, because the great
waves were rolling up very near to the
foot of the clifls. An extra strong sea
might have caught her off her feet, but
she did not think of that; she only
thoughtof savingher breath by escaping
the ditect onslaught of the wind. When
she came to the mouth of the burn her
heart failed her for a little. There was
three-quarcrs of a mile of water, cov
ered with creamy foam, and she did
not know but what she might be taken
out of her depth. Yet she determined
to risk it, ami plunged in at a run. The
sand was hard under foot: but she said,
when the piled foam came softly up to
her waist, she "felt gey funny." Half
way across she stumbled into a hole,
caused by a whirling eddy, and she
thought all was over; but her nerve
never failed her, and she struggled till
she got a footing again. When she
reached the hard ground she was wet to
the neck, and her hair was sodden with
her one plunge "over head." Her
clothes troubled her with their weight
in crossing the moor: so she put off all
she did not need: and pressed forward
again. Presently she reached the house
where the coxswain of the life-boat
lived. She gasped out :"The schooner!
On the Letch! Norrad."
The coxswain, who had seen the
schoonergo past, knew what was the
matter. He said: "Here, wife, look after
the lass," and ran out. The "lass"
needed looking after, for she had
fainted. But her work was well done;
the life-boat went round the point, ran
north, and took six men ashore from the
schooner. The Captain had been washed
overboard, "but the others were saved by
Dorothy's daring "and endurance. The
girl is as simple as ever, and she knows
nothing whatever about Grace Darling.
If she were offered any reward she
would probably wonder why she should
receive any. SL Jama? Gazette.
A Little lyrl'a Story.
One day, it just rained and rained
aud rained at our house, and we had to
stay in.
And every time we went to play any
thing, Aunt Neiia said: "Oh, stop that
noise, children!"
Aud if you took anything, she said:
"Let that be! let that be!" And it was
awful in the house.a . f
1 got a big shawl and spread it over
three chairs, and I got my dollies and
m- dishes aud played under the shawl;
and I asked Danny wouldn't he plav
"keep house" just to-day, because it
was raining and "he couldn't play out
doors any wav.
T told him 'I'd lend'him my "Dotty"
and my "Sissy" and my very best dolly,
"Helena," if he'd be real good to her.
Atfd I'd keep Kose'aud Violet and Ma
tilda myself, and then we would have
three children apiece.
Rose'andTiolet are twins: Th yare
made out of two dumb-bells, with a long
towel pinned around each of them.
ThayJooJiL JoaLvlactly alike, jud
they've got round, bald heads just liks
real babies.
But Danny wouldn't play keep house.
He said he'd never be a tom-girl and
play with do'.Is, no matter if it rained
lorever and ever and ever:
. And then he put his hands in his
pockets and looked the way he always
does when he won't do it. And then
vou know there isn't any use in teasing
bini.
But after a while it didn't rain so
hard, and Aunt Nelia said we might go
and play in the barn. But we must
stay in the barn and not go out into the
yard, even if it didn't rain one single
drop.
We like to play in the barn.
There isn't anyth'ng in it but a big
ile of hay -and in one corner there's
ots of ears of corn.
We play Danny is a dentist. And the
ears of corn are ladies come to have
their teeth pulled.
I walk them along over the floor to
Danny, and he screws the monkey
wrench down tight on one of the ker
nelsthat's a tooth and then he gives
a pull and out it comes! And then I
have to holler like everything for the
lady, because it hurts her so.
Danny talks to tho lady. Zfesays:
"Madam, I won't hurt you in the
least." He heard a dentist say that
once to a lady.
Dauuy had a tooth pulled that same
time that the lady did, and he never
hollered a bit when his tooth was pulled,
and it hurt him awful and bled and
bled.
I'.ut tho lady hollered.
Danuy thinks sho was a coward.
But don't; I think it did hurt her.
And Aunt Nelia said to Danny: Wait
till you have a double tooth out, and
see if you don't holler, too!"
We pulled ever so many teeth that
day in the barn. But after a while wo
got tired of playing that, and we wished
( we had the new little white pigs in the
, bam with us to play with. They were
on'y three days old, and they were just
as cunning and little as they could be.
Danny said he'd ruu across to the
shed and get us one apiece to play with.
But it was awful muddy iu the cow
yard, and I was afraid Aunt Nelia
would scold if Danny got his shoes
muddy.
But'Danny said he would'get Uncle
Eben's big rubber boots off from the
back porch and put on. and then he
wouldn't get muddy a bit.
And so he went and got them. And
he looked so funny with them on! they
came clear up to his jacket on him.
And then lie went to get the little
pigs.
Hut afterwards Danny and me wished
he hadn't gone for them at all.
He could not walk very well with the
big boots on. and when he got most to
the shed, he couldn't walk at all. He
just couldn't take another step, and bis
boots sank way down. And it began
to rain, and there was Danny sticking
in the mud!
Pretty soon he stepped out of the
rubber boots, and he began to pull at
one of the boots, to get it out, and the
boot Hew up, and Danny fell right over
backwards into the mud.
He got up and oh, he was just as
muddy!
And then we had to go into the house,
for I couldn't scrape the mud off and
Danny was so wet.
Anil Aunt Nelia scolded like every
thing, and she put Danny to bed all
alone up-stairs. And she made me stay
down-stairs.
But she didn't know a thing about
Uncle Eben's boots yet.
And I was afraid to tell.
I could see one of them standing in
the mud thero yet out of the kitchen
window..
I kept looking to see if it was there
and it always was.
After a while Uncle Eben wanted his
boots, and he said: "Where are my
rubber boots?"
Then 1 had to show him where one of
the boots was. and 1 told him how it
got there, and he wasn't mad a bit Ho
laughed. But Aunt Nelia said:
"Well. I declare! If I hadn't sent
that boy to bed already, I certainly
should now!"
Aud when Uncle Eben went out and
got his boot, it was full of water, clear
to the top. YouUCs Companion.
Anagrams and Acrostic.
These pithy diversions have often
amused the leisure of great minds, but
more often have proved the serious em
ployment of men whose mental caliber
could bear no heavier metal. The
acrostic in its simplest form is a poetical
composition in which the lirst letters of
the several verses spell some word,
usually a name. The laborious wits,
however, soon came to despise any such
easy triumph, and invented acrostics in
which the same name might be found
in the lirst letters, in the last letters, and
half a dozen times through the stanza.
Pope and his friends used sometimes to
amuse themselves by proposing words
dillicult to match in rhyme, and the
amusement was at one time quite-popular
in London. Anagrams tho manu
facture of other words out of the letters
of a given word have long been in re
pute. Wiat, a poet of the seventeenth
century, made an anagram on his own
name. "A wit." aud felicitated himself
on his invention. Akin to these speci
mens of false wit is punning. This is a
vice which has been well known in
every age, and few great names but
have contributed to the common stock.
Cicero was a great punster, but his puns
are, of course, untranslatable, the
surest means of detecting a pun being
the failure to translate it into another
language. Cusar sometimes made a
pun. and his puns had the reputa
tion of being very good. Charles IL.
of England, was one of the greatest
punsters of his age. During his reign
this vice spread to every part of the
Kingdom. One of his courtiers once
saw a poor Oxford scholar in his gown,
and told him it was too short. "Very
well," replied the scholar, "it will be
long enough before I get. another."
The bystanders laughed, and the court
ier undertook afterward to tell the joke
to the King. "I told him his gown
was too short, and he said: Very welL
it will te a long time before I get an
other.' " The King studied, and .caid
he saw nothing funny in that "Neither
do I," replied the courtier, "but it
sounded funny when he told it." Lamb
drove his friends nearly distracted with
his puns. He was once traveling, and
the stage stopped at an inn for dinner.
After the dinner the coachman came
with a new passenger: "All full in
here!-" "I can' t answer for the rest,''
said Lamb, "but the pudding did the
business for me." .Tonson was noto
riously fond of p'unning. while Shake--peare
was said to be equal to any.
Loth in number and variety. Adams
made a pun while the Declaration of In
dependence was being signed. "Now.
we must all hang together or we shall
all hang separately." Hood was the
f;reatest punster in our literary history,
(is double puns are famous. "So they
went anil told the sexton, and the sexton
tolled the bell," is perhaps one of hia
best enQrta.&.Ivw&tobc-JJamecmL
Msttng Up Time.
Half a dozen railroad men were stand
iiig by the Union depot lunch counter
the other "night, waitinfor a train,
drinking coffee audielling stories about
their experiences-Ail. railroading. An
eagineer was, making camel tracks in a
half of a'pie.anu1 between swallows he
was entertaining the boys about a fast
run he made one day between Milwau
kee and Lacrosse, when the "old
man" was in a'hurry to get up there to
see abort Jthe't bridge1 that was being
built thero.;o-As heiwus describing how
the engine and two cars fairly blistered
the rails' between Portage and Camp
Douglas, a frightened looking man
stepped up and asked for a cup of coll'eo
and some doughnuts, and while he was
soaking a 'doughnut ,in the coffee, he
said they1 didn't know anything about
fast runnirigAinless they had been on the
Pennsylvania lioad.; -The men asked
him what ho knew about fast -running.
'and? he turned oiit some' coffee in a
saucer, blew on it, to cool it, swallowed
it, and said:
"Well, I just got here from the East,
and I have witnessed railroading that
knocks the socks off' of anything that
ever was. We started out of Jersey
City one night at eight o'clock, and up
this side of Philadelphia there was" a
wreck ahead of us, and we side-tracked
for six hours, and when the track was
clear we started. Well, sir, that train
flew, fairly tow. We didn't realize in
the car that we were going fast, by any
jar, for it was just as smooth as a pair
of skates on smooth ice. but if a man
went out on a platform he could not
breathe. The nigger started to bring
a lunch from the hotel car into the car
I was in, and while he crossed the plat
form the coffee froze as stiff as ice
cream, and a man ate it with a spoon.
The nigger was afraid to go back iuto his
car, and waited till the train stopped at
a coal place. The" conductor told me
the train was going faster than a bullet.
He said the engineer often shot his re
volver up the track ahead, and the en
gine would overtake the bullet and Hat
ten it against the smoke stack. Did
you ever see a passenger train jump
right over a freight train, when both
were in motion?" asked the doughnut
man, as he filled his coJee cup up with
milk.
"O, what you giving us?" said the
engineer, as he loosened the leather belt
around his greasy overalls, and looked
at the man with disgust.
"Well, you don't have to believe it if
you don't want to, but I pledge you my
word our train jumped right over a long
freight train ahead of us. We come up
to it, on a straight track, and our en
gineer sigualed to the freight engineer
to slow up a little, and the conductor
told us to keep our seats. We had
seen the freight train ahead on a cut ve,
and wondered why our train tlid not
stop. When the conductor told us to
keep our seats, I asked him what was
the matter, anil he said we were going
to jump a freight, and if we moved
around we would jar the cats so they
wouldn't be so liable to hit the track
ahead, when we comedown. Just then
I could feel the train go into the air.
and hear the wheels turn with no track
under them, and in less than ten seconds
we began to descend, aud 1 could hear
the wheels on the track aga;u, ami I
looked back and the freight engineer
was waving his hat at us. Why, there
was no more jar than there is in this
room now. Of course they wouldn't
attempt to jump a freight train on a
curve or in a tunnel," and the man
scratched a mat -h on his pants, and lit
a cigar stub he hail been keeping.
Feck's Sun.
Slavery in Brazil.
On the 30th of June lat the province
of Uio Grande do Norte had 10.182
slaves, the 13,808 registered up to .Sep
tember 30, 1873, having been reduced
by 1,105 emancipations, 817 deaths, and
1704 departures. The " ingenuos"
alive at the same date were 3,571), be
sides 110 delivered up to emancipated
mothers. In Sergipe there were M. 173
slaves at tho end of June, the 31,'.)3G
registered up to September 30, -1873.
having been diminished by 1,871 eman
cipations, 3,8112 deaths, and 1,128 de
partures. The "ingenuos" were 7,i0o',
besides 112 delivered to freed mothers
and 21 to the State. The slaves in Bio
Grande do Sul numbered 08703 at the
end of June, hav,ng decreased since
September 30, 1873,.!), 100 by emancipa
tions, 0',8 by deaths, and 13.752 by
excess of departures over- entries. Of
"ingenuos" owing freo birth to the law
of 1871 there were 24,77l ;ilive at the
end of June last, besides 73!) delivered
to freed mothers, and 12 to the State.
The slaves of Para numbered 23,511 on
the 30th of June, the 2D,8!)4 registered
at tho end of September, 1873, having
been reduced by 4,251 emancipations
and 2,7b'3 deaths, but increased by G31
entries. The "ingenuos" wero P.434,
besides 288 delivered to emancipated
mothers and 2 to the State. Thc'slavcs
in Alagoas numbered, June 30 hist, 2!),
37i), being 4,755 fewer than were regis
tered up to September 30, 1873, s:nce
which date the deaths were 3,027, and
the emancipations 1,748, being an actual
decrease of 4,775, besides which the
number was diminished by 1,970 de
partures in excess of entries. The num
ber of living children freed at birth by
the law of 1871 was 7,33-1, including 104
delivered up to freed mothers, and two
transferred to the Government. Un the
30th of June, 1880, the slaves in Ama-
fe tjdnlries , tuan, d
partures from tJiedprorrceVahddimin
ished by 44 deaths ajidj)$ .emancipa
tions. At the endlDf JJa&e there were
335 children owing free? bTftlVtolthe law
of 1871. Anglo-Brazilian-Timer. -
The Oldest Tree In Hartford.
The oldest tree in Hartford since the
fall of the Charter Oak is located a few
feet south of the warehouse formerly
occupied by M. W. Chapin, at the foot
of Ferry street. It is a sycamore, or
buttonball, and is known in the books
as Flatantis occidental is, and by the
English is called plane tree. It is eight
feet in diameter at the ground, and
girts twenty-two feet five feet from its
base. When the first explorer came up
the Connecticut River it stood on the
high ground on the river bank, ami has
been a familiar feature of that locality
ever since.
Its trunk is hollow, beiug a mere
sheu, just as it was when tho writer of
this paragraph first saw it, over fifty
years since. Its main limbs and
branches were as sound and thrifty Jast
season as they ever were. Th s grand
old tree, that it has takeu three or four
hundred years to produce, and the laat
of the olcf trees' that adtVdate'the history
of our settlement, has had several nar
row escapes of late. Last year the
.boys, in imitation of other boys that set
fire to the old Charter Oak before its
falL built a bonfire inside of it which
would have been 'its end, but, by the
timely arrival of fire-engine, it was
paved. A Jew. dajrsiace JJw?id Coo
zonaswexe 1,lu", the 1,515 registered up
to i- eptembeASK'lWB.f "faying beeriM in
creased bv -mlmnlHes.-lufl
nor, s resident of that neighborhood,,
got permission from President ! abcock.
of the Valley railroad. which company
owns the land on whichdt stands, to cut
it down for fire-wood- David had s:tc
c3edodin cutting off a part of the main
branches when the attention of Mr.
Babcock was called to tho fact of its
historical importance as the oldest tree
in Hartford, and he coi ntermandel the
order, and David will remove what he
has cut down and give the o'd tree one
more chance. " oodman, spare that
tree!" Hartford Conn.) 'Ii7ius.
The Midday Dinner.
'
To consume, a hearty m'dday meal
and to fake a full hour for its consump
tion would Tic tantamount to a return to
the manners of pre-Independence days,
and. indeed, to the manners of Old Kn-
gland. Misson, a French traveler in
England, 'quoted by Mr. John Ash ton in
hi " Social Life in tho Reign of Quoen
Anner remarks: '"THe'Engirsh eafa
great deal at dinner; they rest awhile,
and to it again, till they have quite
stuffed their paunch, 'fheir suppers
are moderate gluttons at noon, and
abstinent at night. I always heard that
they were great flesh-eaters, and I found
it true. I have known many people in
England that never eat-any bread, and
universally they eat very little; they
nibble a tew crumbs, while they chew
the meat by whole mouthfuls." When
New England was an English colony
the universal dinner-hour was noon,
and traditions of the staple of the old
fashioned faro yet linger in the favorite
New England dishes, pork ami beans
and Indian pudding the last a compost
of "corn" meal ami molasses. In the
old Knickerbocker days of New York,
people dined early and substantially,
but we may rest tolerably well assured
that tho totufortable and phlegmatie
Dutch burghers of Manhattan took the
fullest of hours for their meal and its
iligestion. After the dinner came a
pipe many pipes, probably. The mod
ern Americans are not a pipe-smoking
people, and, to judge from the "saint
wich and piece-of-pio allegati. n," the.
are slightly amenable to the charge
bro ght by Brillat Savarin aga'nst Na
poleon the Great of "eating quickly
and eating badly." Yet the author of
the "Physiologie du Gout' belonged to
a nation who have never swerved from
their custom ot eating a good midday
meal.
The Fienchman's breakfast is "cafe
au lait" and "bread and butter." just
as the Spaniard's "de.auno" is a cup
of chocolate, a morsel of dry bread,
and a glass of cold water: but the Gaul
must have his second and substantial
breakfast at noon; and a "de euuer a
la fourchette" may.be defined, without
exaggeration, as a dinner "minus" only
the soup. The Germans have a "mit
tagessen," or midday meal, at which
they eat soup; but the evening meal
with tho old-fashioned Teuton is supper
ami not late dinner. Most of the hotels
hold two tables d'hote a day, oue at the
old-fashioned and one at the new-fangled
hour. Noontide is. from the point
of v'ew of health, perhaps the time at
which a "square" meal should most ap
propriately be eaten; but, unfortunate
ly, if we wish to keep our digestion un
impaired, we must rest awhile after lin
early dinner. Our French neighbors,
breakfasting copiously at noon, seldom
think of returning to business until
half-past one; frequently they remain
over their cigars and coffee until two p.
iu. But, with the Anglo-Saxon races,
"time is money," and they grudge
even minute during the hours of busi
ness which is not devoted to the pur
suit of Mammon. In tho. south of
France the noonday meal is followed by
the "siesta," and from twelve to half
past two in the afternoon mercantile
and financial business is almost entire
ly suspended. It is quite as hot at
New York as it is at Marseilles or Tou
lon, but what business New Yorker
would think of taking the solace of a
"siesta" after lunch? If Americans
and Englishmen would rise a little
earlier, and get through the major part
of the day's business as foreigners do
in the forenoon, the substantial mid
day meal might become a possibility,
promising much benefit to their general
health and spirits; but such a change in
Anglo-Saxon manners could not be ef
fected, perhaps, without bringing about
alarming disturbances iu transactions
ielative"to "call money, "gray shirt
ing," pork, gold, grain, and railway
shares. London Telegraph.
Catching Smelts in Lake Cliampluiii.
Winter fishing is now being enjoyed
by those who are fond of the sport.
The lake at .Bhrlington has just closed
in, and the smelt-lishers have moved
their little huts on runners out to the
accustomed grounds. Modern improve
ments have made this snort ono of the
most luxurious imaginable. Instead of
kneeling in the cold wind beside a con
stantly freezing hole in the ice, the fish
erman now sits at ease in his neat littlo
movable house, warmed by a stove, and
keeps watch of two or three lines let
down through holes in the floor ami
corresponding holes in the ice. He
smokes and re'Ieets, or talks with a
companion, and is as comfortable as a
millionaire before'his grate of glowing
sea-coaL Besides being a lazy amuc
ment smelt-lishing is a pretty profitable
employment, as tho fish are exceeding
ly tcothsome, and bring agood price in
the local markets. An attentive and
persistent fisherman will make about
as much out of his day's sport as a
'laborer who comes home sore and stiff
aiknight with his hard-earned pittance.
The genius who sits on his bench and
manipulates me lime nues is usuauy a
jolly, hospitable sort of a fellow, and
is perfectly willing that the, blue-nosed
skater should seek refuge occasionally
in his cosy little house, and even
permits him to handle one of the lines
for a while. If he should chance to
bring a 3'oung lady companion with
him, the ancient fisherman becomes a
model of gallantry. He lays his black
pipe under the stove, resigns his warm
seat to the fair one, and places all his
piscatorial" resources at her command.
It is pleasaut to note the immense satis
faction with which he Tesigns to her the
line upon which he has just detected a
timid nibble, and when, following his
directions, she hooks the unhappy fish
and draws it up through the ice with a
little scream of mingled terror and de
light, his eyes shine with approbation
and pie sure, and hefeels as proud as
did the Canadian woodsman who ini
tiated the Princess Louise' into the mys
teries of salmon-fishing. But when'he
removes, the struggling victim and coolly
bites out its eyes with his teeth for a
fresh bait, the situation becomes em
barrassing in the extreme, and the cosy
hut no longer possesses any attraction
for the -young skaters. They beat a
Ere :ipitafe retreat, leaving the hospita
le proprietor in such a state of aston
ishment and perplexity that he sticks
the fish's eye into his pipe and puts a
slice of plug tobacco on the hook. .There
is such bewilderment in the memory of
a -pretty face! Burlington (Vt.) Cor.
Troy (N. y-) Time- . .
Klfaat's Direrced Wife.
' Rifaat Bey. who left Cairo last nigh
in charge of a Circassian guard, is
more fortunate than Mahmoud Saxni
Paroud; his wife, although a lady of
rank, and supposed to have been sub-,
jected to "pressu.e" in high quarters
to induce her to remain in Cairo, per
sisted in her resolution to accompany
her husband into exile. The-Prefect of
l'olice was se.nt to Mme. Rifaat to
urge many reasons why she should not
forsake lier native land. Was she
aware Rifaat Bey's destination was
Malta? It was a Christian country; at
tempts would be made to destroy her
faith, to compel her to turn Chrfstian.
To all this Mire. Uifaat's answer was:
Where.her husband went she would go;
if he became a Christian, she wo Id
become oue, too; his people should be
her people: his God her ( od.
1 ut whether Rifaat Bey himself de
serves to be the object of such absolute
'devotion an incident that occurred on
the platform last night gives one cause
to doubt. Rifaat was calmly seated in
a lirst-class carriage; and the exile's
impassive dignity and calm while the
sound of women's waitings came from
the waiting-rcom impresso I one as
quite heroic. In an adjOiuing carriage
were Mme. Rifaat and a female slave,
both of them closely veiled and attired
in the black, btiggy gowns hgyptian
la ies t'.oat about in. These ladies wero
silent, and appeared d spirited: but two
line little boys, the e dest being about
ten years of age. stood at the carriage
window and talked away cheer ully in
French to the European v'sitors who
had come to wish them good speed.
From the black cr wd of wailing wo
men in the distance suddenly one wo
man broke, throwing off the g'asp of
those who tried to hold her, aud rush
ing up to Rifaat, her veil all torn a-id
her beautiful face (oue of the most
beautiful I have ever seen literally
bathed in tears, ericd (in truth, w th au
exceeding bitter cry, "For the love of
Heaven, give me back my child!" She
spoke in Arabic; but her gestures and
her despair weie ?o eloquent that tho
English gentlemen round the carr age
started, and in del cate compassion
drew back from her and let her plead
her cause as she might.
Rifaat Bey, who hail a cigarette in his
mouth and continued smokiug while the
poor, wild creature poured "forth her
complaint, only took it out of his mouth
to say one word signifying "Be o t with
you;" and as a hideous black Nubian
came up quickly the Bey nodded to him
with the same gesture with which he
.might have ordeied the slave to brush
away a fly, and so tho poor woman was
led away weeping aloud and beating
her breast. Then the story was
whispered r und that this was Uifaat's
first wife, whom he had divorced. But
an Egyptian, like most Easterns, sets
great st re by his sons, even though he
nas grown to hate their mother; and so
Rifaat carries away into exile the only
child of this poor deserted creature,
whom I should judge by her fair com
p'exion and lovely oval face, and also
by her perfect knowledge of French, to
have been a Circassian slave. choon for
her beauty and trained in accomplish
ments like the " Fair Persian in "The
Arabian Nights," and married, as tho
"Fair Persiau" herself was. to be
thrown aside as lightly.
The Nubian eunuch would seem to
have reasoued w.th the poor mother
more compassionately than his unat
tractive countenance promised; for aft
er a time she returned with hor veil ar
ranged, and only weeping quietly. She
pased Rifaat's carriage with bent head,
and only stopped at the adjoining oue.
She hail brought sweetmeats with her
for the bo-. . and put them into his hands,
aud ki-sed him, weeping; while he ac
cepted all her fondness with a placid in
ditlorence which led one almost to hope
his stepmother iniijht follow out the
traditions of sto 3 land and give him
cause to regr.t the affection he valued
so lightly.
After a few momeuts the Nubi-u
came near the carriage, au I seemed to
remind the weeping woman she had
promised there should be 110 fresh d s
turbance. This time she walked I ack
to the other women quietly, and until
the train had s ailed we saw no m ro
of her. Later. o:.e of the saddest s ones
I have ever witnessed was that of tho
black-gowned women round her. their
guard of eunuchs stand'ng with clasped
arms and watching them, while they
wailed over her on the monotonous note
Egyptian women dwell upon in lamen
tation. The divorced wife and be
reaved mother w:is ditinguisha'ile by
her torn white veil and uncovered face,
and alo by her silence. She seemed to
have exhausted grief, or at any rate her
sense of mourning, and sat there among
the dark l-gtires almost :is though she
were dead and these wero the iuneral
guests invited to bewail her. Cairo
Cur. St. James Gazette.
Mrs. Jones Haft a Spell.
Mr. Jones was writing a letter; writ
ing is not his strong point, neither is
spelling, and he called on Mrs. Jones,'
who was sewing in the room, to help
him out.
"Maria," he said, suspending his
pen in air and catching a globule of
ink on his nose, "is there any h' in
sofa?"
"Of course there is," answered Mrs.
J., swallowing a button she was going
to sew on Willie's best jacket.
S-o-p-h-a. sofa."
"Thanks! That's the way I always
spell it, come -to th:iik of it." said
Jones, airily, and there was a spell of
silence. Then he suddenly asked:
"Arc there two g's in sugar, Maria?"
"Mercy, no!" said Mrs. Jones, sharply.
"I should think you could spell a
little word like that,.Jeptha s-h-u-g-a-r,
sugar."
"That's so," assented Jones, "but I
forgot the h, thought the word didn't
look right," and ho scratched in the
missing aspirate.
Then he folded his letter and set about
directing iL
"How many n's in Cincinnati?" he
asked, balancing a postage stamp on his
tongue.
"About a dozen!" snapped Mrs. J.,
who had just discovered that both knees
of Willie's pants needed repairing.
"S-i-n-n-c i n-n-a-M-i Cincinnati. I'm
not sure whether the last letter Is a y or
an i. You ought to keep a dictionary.
Jeptha, and not depend on me for
everything."
"I don't need one when you" re
around, dear," said Jones, with a sly
wink at the iciling.
"I used to be a pretty good speller,"
said Mrs. Jones, complacently, "but I
am liable to make mistakes like other
people. It comes natural to some folks
to spell, and I suppose I'm one of
them," and she proceeded to cut out
two square ornaments for Willie's
knees, while Jones went out and posted
his letter. Detroit Post and Tribune.
Mrs. John Jacob Astor is said to be
the only lady in New York, or any
other city, whose earthly possessions is
lade a dinner service of solid .gold.
HUMOROUS.
Tn reply to the queatioa: "Is Willi
Winter a poet?" the Philadelphia New
says: "He used to be. but he has -had:
ins hair cut."
A girl just returned from a Boston
high school, said upon seeing a fire en
gine at work: "Who would evah have
dweamed such a vewy diminutive look
ing apawatus would hold so much wat
tan. St. Louis Globe.
Fred, aged seven, was handling a
valuable book carelessly, and his mother
told him to put it down on the table.
He did so unwilling y. and remarked:
"When I'm married." I shall not have to
obey mamma."
When wo see a ttghtly-laced woman
trying to enjoy a good "laugh with a
smile on her mouth and tears in hor
eyes, we think of the dear old hymn
which begins: "Let joy be unconfiued."
Boston Post
A German at a hotel table in this
city the other day had some Llmburger
cheese sent to him. A little boy who
sat beside him turned to his mother and
exclaimed: "Mamma, how 1 wish I was
deaf and dumb in my nose." Chicago
News.
-- "Yes. sir," replied a meek-looking
man who was asked if he had suffered
any reverses; "I've seen more ups and
downs duritig my life than most men."
"Indeed! What do you do for a living.-"
inquired the philanthropist. 0.
I run an elovator.sir."- Chicago Herald.
- Tho Mavor and members of the
Hoard ot" Aldermen of Broiktonareanti
toba -co men. and the Mayor of Boston
has forbidden smoking in the City Hall;
but after all an American sovereign
may use tobacco in that building if ha
chews. Lowell Courier.
The fortieth marr'age anniversary
is "woolen." It is d.scouraging for a
young c uple just starting out, to think
that they must shiver on together for
forty years before their friends will
chip in and furnish the material to
make tliiim comtortable. -Burlington
Uawkeyr.
-"What's orbs. Sallie " "Orbs?
Why. as to how, Maggie? Who said
so?" "Well, you no.v that city chap
was sparging ue last night, an' ho
looked me square in the face and sung
out: "Oh! if could always I ask in tho
effulgence of those bright orbs."
"H mph! I guess that must be what
they call eves that squint; but what do
you suppose he wanted of a basque?"
Footpads on ark street "Hold up
your hands." v ictim "All right: but
w hat do you want?" "Your watch and
money." " Yes, of 1 ourse, but beg
your pardon, y u don't rec gnize mu;
the p'umber took down that ne t street
a few minutes ago; I'm an editor, and
-" "Here, take this quarter to tiy a
lunch o. cheese aud something warm
ing, and go about your business." To
ledo American.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Colonel James Coulter, a member
of the Tennessee Legislature, wears his
hair like a woman, bangs and all.
Authors of the olden time used to
puff their own works by allixing "tak
ing title" to them, such as "A right
merrie and Wittie interlude, verie pleas
ant to reade, etc." "A marvelous wittie
treafse. etc;" "A Delectable. Tithie
and Righte Profitable Worke, etc"
Representative Moore, of Tennes
see, is so proud of his wife's beauty that
he delights in piesi-nting to her hand
some dresses selected y himself. He
has s good taste in such matters as any
lady of fashion. . e late y bought a
robe, as a sur rise for her, costing
1,000. 1 evv wive- will deuy the good
taste of such a husband. -V. O. Pica-
IJltlW.
- Mrs. Sarah Whitman Parris, widow
of the late Governor vlb-on K. Parris,
of this State, died in Wa hingtoti re
cently, iu the ninety-third year of her
age. Her husband was the second
lioveniore'e ted after Maine was cre
ated into a Mate in .2-J. and was Gov
ernor when General Lafayette made his
visit to this city. Portland Me.)
Anjn .
1'loodgood H. Cutter, an eccentric
man, who is known as " the poet hi'ire
ate of Long Island," attracted attention
while ri ing in ew York the other day.
His veh'e'e was drawn by a prancing
mule and a venerable horse. Clad in a
pair of hi"jh-top,ed Napoleon boots and
a coat of man colors, tho miling poet
la ueate looked the pi tore of innocence
abroad. A". )'. Time .
Mrs. Tvler, the ex-President's
widow, is iu Wash niton. Sheen oysthe
distinction of iieiug the onlv woman who
ever entered the vv bite I'ouseasabride.
She has ayo ng daughter, who was an
infant at the time 01 the ex-1'resideiit's
death, in IHG'J. She is ver,' affable, but
she has not forgotten the stately'man
ners that were in fashion forty years ago.
She wears her haT ut as it is repre
sented in the girlish portrait of her which
was painted when she was a bride.
Washington Post.
Rules for a Russian Club.
After mu.'h discussion, tho committer
of a certain t-lu iu a romote Russiau
town has drawn up the following set of
rules for the gu dance ot its members.
The code seems to be as Draconian as
it is original.
(1) Iu one shall enter the club with
dirty boots ,2) No one shall wear h:s
workaday clothes if they are impreg
nateM With aB,ptea4antrs'mells, r.nch as a
scent of, Halt,, leather,! p.t h. etc. (3)
At the club dances black cloth is. laid
dowu as tub con ect dress. t4) In bad
weather, when the' streets are muddy,
all members of the club must wear slip
pers, so as not to dirty the floor. (5;
Whoever shall dare to put in an appear
atice at a club ball in a velvet waistcoat
or a green cravat renders himself liable
to a tine o a ruble and a halt, to be put
aside tor the benefit of the musicians.
(!) A very stringent rule this). It is
expressly iorbidden that any member,
in the course of a ir i-ansante, shall
use the ball-room ctirtans for a pocket
handkerchief. If he does he will be ig
nomiuiously kicked out. (7) The man
who smokes also at a "o m dtnsan!e)
in the portion of the club set aside fox
ladies shall be instantly lined twenty
five kopecks, to go toward the purchase
of powder or eau do Cologne for the
ladies (8) No member who may Ik,
pen to be exhilarated, no matter how
late in the evening, shall be allowed to
introduce the can can iu a set of quad
rilles. The other rules prescribe that no ono
who is tipsy "beyond the l.ounds of de
cency" shall remai'i in the ball-room.
The bmjciier shall be responsible for
such persons which seems rather hard
on the bufetier. Every drunken insu
shall be fined three rubles the product
to go to the formation of a library; and
in case of a dispute at billiards the dis
putants are warned against using the)
cues to back their opinions., underapen
alty of forty kopecks per blow. PaiU
Jiall Qcuetse.
Mtfc-ltrVSilfttforTMpcti
Hefif'rz'rDrug Store.
46-y