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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (April 4, 1883)
KATS9 OF AavYEKTlSaTI . i u- "Ean.i"a and profaaakuaalearda of five lines or less, per annum, five dollars. TS3 For time advertisements, apply at this office. 2dTXgal advertisements at status rates- JSFTov transient advsrtisiagi see rates on third page. TA11 advertleesaeats payable monthly. terms: Per year .. Six month? Three months Single copies .92 1 3 VOL. XIIL--NO. $9. COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. APRIL 4, 188B. WHOLE NO. 673. THE JOURNAL. ISSUED EVKEY WEDNESDAY, M. K. TTTRJS'.ER & CO., Proprietors aad Publisher!. S3-OFFICE, Eleventh St., vp stairs ih Journal Building. 4 SaV.' m iifiwlws - 1TJSDTESS CARDS. DEJTAL PABIOR. On Thirteenth St., and Xebraska Ave over Friedhofs store. jy Office hours, 3 to 12 a. m.; 1 to " p. m. Olla ASHBaugh, Dentist. 0 lOs:IX.HJ9 SUaAIYAI". ATT0HXETS-A7-LA Wt Up-stairs in Gluck Building, 11th street, Above the New bank. TT J. OII1WMMU NOTARY PUBLIC, 12th Strtet. t Joor went or Hsnaoad Hoatt, Columbus, Neb. 491-J Ta. M. O. THWKSTOJf, RESIDENT DENTIST. Office over corner of 11th snd Nortb-st. All operations lir.t-clas and warranted. C 1BIC4GO HAKIER HHOP! HKSttY WOODS, Pkop'R. j3TEvervthing in first -class style. Also keep the bet of oisrars. &ly f KKR Sc KKEDER, .4 TTOItXEYS A T LA W, Office on Olive St.. Columbia. Nebra-ka. i-tf C G. A. IU'LLHOUST, A. M.. M. D., HOMED PA Till C I'll l'Sl CIAX, gTvi-o Blocks -outh of Court House. Telephone communication. 5-ly lrcALLlSTES BKOS., A TTORXEYS A T LA W, Office up-stairr in McAlli-ter'a build ing. 11th St. W. A. McAllister, Notary Public. J. M. MACFARLAXD. B. It. CWDERY, Attsr7 isi Scary hi?:. C:lU:::r. LAW A$b COLLECTION OFFICE OF MACPARXiANDA COWDIR7, Columbw, : ' -' Nebraska. p KO. X. DKKKY, PAIXTER. J2Tarriae, houe and 'ij;n 'painting, pluziu. paper banning, kaNomiuinir, etc. done to order. Shop on 13th St., opposite Enirine Ilou-i-, Culumbu-, Neb. 10-y "P II.RI'MCHIm llth St., nearly opp. Gluck's store, S 1 Harness. Saddles. Collars, Whipn, B nketa, Curry Combs, Hruahes, etc., ut the lowest j.oible price;.. Hepairs pr mptly attended to. G W. C'LAKK, LAND AND 1NSUBAXCE AGENT, lU'Ml'IlHEY, NEBH. His lands comprise some tine tracts In the Shell i reek Valley, and the north ern portion ol PI tie county. Taxe paid for iion-res:deut. satisfaction guaranteed. :? y J OU1S SCIIREIBER. ILACKSMITH AND WAGON MAKER. All kind of rpairinj; done on short notice. Btiiri:ie-, Wagons, etc., made to order, and all work iruarauteed. j3"Shop oppoite the "Tattercall," Olive Street. -23 "VJ"OTICR lOTICArilERS. J. B. Moncrief. Co. Supt., Will be in his office at the Court House ou the lir-t Saturday of each month for the purpose of examining applicants for teacher's certificates, and for the tranactton of any other huiuess pertaining to schools. r-tJT-y CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plans and estimates -upplied for either frame or brick buildings. Good work guaranteed. Shop on l.'lth Street, near St. Paul Lumber Yard. Columbu. Ne braska. ")- "mo. J. WA&NER, Liverv and Feed Stable. Is prepired to furnish the public wfth good team-, biurie and carriage- for all occasions, especially for funerals. ANo couducts a sale tabfe. 44 D.T. Martyx, M. P. F. schuo. M. D., ( Deutscher Art:.) Drs. MAETYN & SCHTIO, U. S. Examining Surgeons, Local Surtreou. Union Tacitic and O., N. All.n. It. R'. COLUMBUS. NEBRASKA. :i-2-ol-xiii-v WILLIAM RYAN, DEALKR IX KENTUCKY WHISKIES (Fines. Ale. Cigars and Tobacco. rTSchilz's Milwaukee Beer constant ly on hand. 51 EUEVEXTH ST COLUMBUtT. NKB. JS. BURDOCK & SON, Carpenters and Contractors. Have had an extended experience, and will guarantee satisfaction in work. All kinds of repairing done on short notice. Our motto is, Good work and fair prices. Call and give u an oppor tunitytoestimateforyou. J53"Shop on ;13th St, one door west of Friedhof & "Co'a. store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-v THE . COLUMBUS FLAX AND TOW CO., Are prepared to receive and pay $3.00 per ten.for good clean flax straw (free from foreign substances) delivered on their grounds near the Creamery, in Colum bus Nebraska. COLUMBUS FLAX & TOW CO., GEO. SMITH. Ag-t. Columbus, Dec. 5, 1S32. 32-3ni COLVABVi Restaurant and Saloon! E. D. SHEEHAN, Proprietor. yarwholesale ind Beta.il Dealer in For eiirn "Wines, Liquors and Cigars, Dub lin Stont, Scotch and English Ales. & Kentucky Whiskies a Specialty. in their season, by the case can or dish. lath Street, Seat's ef ADTMTIIBMMTS. $1:90 Salt at J. B. Dels man's for $1.90 a bar rel, and everything at accordingly low prices. 49-tI NEBRASKA 'HOUSE f. S. J. MARMOT, Prvp'r. Nbraska Ave., South of Dpot, COLV.HBVH, TRIB. - . -i " j: A new h'ouse, newly furnished. Good accommodations. Board by day or wees: at reasonable rates. tSTMetM a Fint-Claiui Xable. Meals, .... 25 Cts. Lodgings.... 25 Cti. 38-2tf H. LITERS & CO, BLACKSMITHS AND Wagon Buildeis, Sew Erirk Shop opposite Urlntz's Drug Start. ALL KINDS OF WOOD AND IRON WORK ON WAGONS AND BUGGIES DONE ON SHORT NOTICE. Eleventh Street, Columbus, Nebraska. D YOU WANT THE BEST W Illustrated Weekly Paper published? If so, sub 0 scribe for Tk. WnUj Ormpklo. It contains four pages of illustrations and eight pages of reading matter. It is terse. It is vigorous. It is clean and healthy. It gives all the news. Its home department is full of choice literature. Fanning interests receive spe cial and regular attention. It treats inde pendently of politics and affairs. During the year it give over 200 pages of illustra tions, embracing every variety of subject, from the choicest art production to the customs, manners and noteworthy incidents and averyday scenes of every people ; and Cartoons upon events, men and measures. Try it a year, subscription price $2.50 a year. Sample copies and terms to agents, 5 cents. Addbess THE WrEEKLY GRAPHIC, 182 & 1S4 Dkabbobx Street, Chicago. We offer The "Weekly Graphic In Club with The Columbus Journal For $.".90 a year in advance. COLUMBUS STATE BANK! 3i::t!unt3 3tmrl s Siil i:i liner a Eslit. COLUMBUS, JEB. CASH CAPITAL, - $50,000 DIRECTORS: Leander Gkrbakd, Pres'i. Geo. W. Hulst, Vice Pres't. Jolics A. Reet. Edward A. Gerhard. Abn'er Turker, Cashier. ftatak of Deposit, Dliicoami aatd Exchassaje. CoIlectiBH Praaaptly Wade oa mil PelatM. Pay latereMt ea Time Icbom. 274 ALL PARTIES WANTING THE -ACME- rW?M POLVEH Hffli ! CLOD CRUSHER AND- LEVELER! IN BUTLER, PLATTE, DODGE, COLFAX it- SA UXDERS COUNTIES, Will send their prdere to T. W. HUNT & CO., SCHUYLER, NEBR. 45-4t SALARY $20 Per week to live agents. Something new. Sells on sight. The Temple of Life; representing the Past, Present and Fu ture. A fine lithograph in six elegant tints. Size 22x33. Send stamp for circuit- inmi i a- v& ! . u ' iwrii a .r. riiaswi, 4d-C fp(iE9KVWBSBikBiaiaw9BiavFMH- jUt -itir'ieftiEEaaiaiElC r' National Bank! COX.X71CBX7S. Aithorized Capital, Cash Capital, $250,000 50,000 OFFICERS AND piBECTORS. A.-ANDERSON. Prtsft SAM'L C. SMITH, Vice Pres't. O.T. ROEN, Cashier. J. W. EARLY, -. - ROBERT UHLIO. .HERMAN OEHLRICH. i rtP.V. A. MCALLISTER, G. ANDERSON, P. ANDERSON. 4-0 tens r '" uj Foreign and Inland Exehangej Passage TictefnTKeal Esaie7toam ana Insurance. BECKER if "WELCH, " PROPRIETORS OF SHELL CREEK HILLS. MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE SALE DEALERS IN FLOUR AND MEAL. OFFICE, COL UMB US, NEB. SPEICE & NORTH, General Agents for the Sale of REAL ESTATE, Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific R.R. Lands for sale at from $3.0Oto $10.00 per acre for cash, or on five or ten years time, in annual payments to suit pur chasers. We have also a large and choice lot of other lands, Improved and unimproved. Tor sale at low price and on reasonable terms. Also business and residence lots in the city. We keep a complete abstract of title to all real es tate in Platte County. G21 COLXJIBUN. NEB. HERMAN OEHLRICH & BRO. Wliolos.tle and Retail GROCERS ALSO DKALER.S IN PillafeHrjr'a Best Mimaesota, Seknyler Saow Flake aad Sckajrler 82 Flour Always kept on kmmd, Every Sack Warranted. CASH PAID FOR BUTTER AND EGGS, iSyGooda delivered free of charge to any part of the city. 43 LANDS, FARMS, CITY PROPERTY- FOR SALE, AT THE Union Pacfic Land Office, On Lontf Time and low rate ' of Interest. All wishing to buy Kail Road Lands or Improved Farms will find it to their advantage to call at the U. P. Land OlBee before lookin elsewhere as 1 make a specialty of buying and selliug land on commNion; all perou wish ing to sell forms or unimproved land will find it to their advantage to leave their lands with me Tor sale, as my fa cilities for afl'eeting ales are unsur passed. am prepared to make final proof for all parties wishing to get a patent for their homesteads. JSTHenry Cordea, Clerk, writes and speaks (ierinau. SAMUEL C. SMITH, Agt. U. P. Land Department. 6Jl-y COLUMBUS. NEB. WM. BECKER, DEALER IN ALL KINDS OF FAMILY GROCERIES! I KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A WELL SELECTED S I'OCK. Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups, Dried and Canned Fruits, and other Staples a Specialty. Geeds Oelirered Free to aay part of the City. I AM ALSO AGENT FOR THE CEL EBRATED COQUHXARD Farm and Spring Wagons, of which I keep a constant supply on hand, but few their equal. In style and quality, second to none. CALL AJfD LEARX PRICES. Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near A. t N. Depot. CI1TO Lames Glassware Our Tonus Readers. 1EE LITTLE SPARROW'S TRUST, This crumb Is mine, -said Sparrow Gray, " Tne only oae Tve bad to-day. And I ihmt!d be a silly bird To give you half, or even laird; For seel tne ground Is white with snow. And may be weeks for aagbt Lknow. u If 'tis.' replied the younger bird, I'll tell you what I overheard; 1 beard some little children say. In that great hruse across the war. How they should scatter crumbs of bread. That every Lire might bo well fed. Till all the ice aad muw were gone; So cbeertrp. Prsv don't look forlorn: I'd rather gaze on miles of snow iTaan see a bird with looks or woe." ' You simple!" twittered Sparrow Gray, That's always just your heedless way. Ko matterwhetber foul or fair. It's 'etiirg, chirp, chirp,' without a care. And now you think you'll be well fed; 1 hope you haven't been misled; But time will tell. Good-day, good-day." And greedy Sparrow Hew away. The little bird waajeft alone Poor wee. wee Sparrow, scarce half-grown: Tae cold winds soon hegaa to blow; . No shelter offered, high nor low; j iMmHiafnl uf tan woafu itrnnwTut " To tke great house at leaatk be -cornea A little shivering, hungry bird. Then to the window where be beard The children's voices, straight he files. And with h:s ehlrpinif Sparrow-cries Soon brought them thronging t his side. Then qu ck the sasli they opened wide. Strewed thick with crumbs the sheltered sill, Till wee, wee Sparrow had his till. And chirping soft, as if to say; I thank you, thank you," Hew away. Dear little children! dear wee bird! Could we but heed the promised Word Of One who keeps both great ami small. And notes a single sparrow's tall! KlUaUth A. Davis, in Harper'i Youim People. m m - KXITES. Lecture by a Boy. Reported for the Wi ie Awake," by Mrs. A. M. IW., The second of the John spicer Courw of Lectures took place yesterday after noon in Barn Hall, and was listened to with attention, though there was some disorder among the audience as they entered the hall. Superintendent Dick informed the assemblage that Mr. John .vpicer was waiting to have a hole in his trousers leg sewed up, and would be in t presently. At this moment Mr. John Spicer appeared and was greeted by the audience with tliat prolonged clapping sometimes called appladse". Mr. buicer bowed to the audience and began as fol-' lows, and was heard to the end with quiet attention: Ladies and (Gentlemen: My subject is knives". There are two kinds of knives. , I will mention them: eating knives aud jaekknives. You must not put eat ng knives in your mouth. You can a jack- I knife, because then you do not have any fork. I mean when you are eating raw sweet potatoes or raw turnips, or any raw things outdoors. 1 ou can do nine teen things with a jaexknife. I will mention them- wh-ttle, sharpen pencils, clip off linger nails and thumb ones, play multipeg. cut knots, punch holes, shock out clams and oysters, clean fish es, cut your name on an thing, eat ap ples and pumpkin seeds and other things, make whistles, whet it on a whetstone, cut your fingers with it, break it. swap it," lose it, find it, lend it, give it away. Every icllow that borrows a iackknife ought to give it right back asain. (Applattsi.) 1 don't meau be fore he's done with it. (Appluuse.) A jackknifc is matle of two parts. I will mention them The handle and the blade. You can have a knife with six blades if anybody w 11 give you one. (Appltiusr.) "Your father and mother hardly e er give ou a six-blader. They do not think it is best. Some l.ttle fel lows have numb 'ackknives. Numb jackknive-j are made not to cut. Numb jaekknive are good for little fellows to have My IittlT brother's orot a numb jackknife. arkkuives are'verv easy to lose. A feliow most always loses his knife. He fee's very sorry when he first finds out he can't find his knife. He does not believe that knife is lost He keeps feeling in his pocket for he believes it is there somewhere, under his hall, or his jewsharji, or his pocket handkerchief, or 'mongst the crumbles Then he begins and he emptier out all these things, and turns his pocket inside out and shakes it and stands up and shakes his trousers leg, and looks down on the floor, and puts them all in again, and then he begins to hunt. 1 know some verses av.out losing a jackknife. I will mention one: When a boy ttets a. shining new knife, Oh a Jubilant boy U he! Capering, shouting, prancing: chattering, laugbltur. dancing. All to joyfully. highdidilie-Ue! When ho loies that shinini? nw knite. Oh a s Tiowfut by is be! Banting, snitbng, groping; whininjr, sigh.ng. mopinir. All o dolefully, oh dear me I One dav 1 lost rav knifo somewhere in the house, and 1 hunted for it in ninety-seven places. I will mention them" In my mother's work-basket, in her other work-basket in her darn-stocking-bag. in eight of her bureau drawers, in six crack.-, of the V oor up garret in the' ashes pail, ail over eight noors (crawl ng. in the cookie pot, in niv mother's pocket, in the bain's era- .n: : tu ,r,i honi f7,.. , iicic:a. vfu ctcuiccu uluci aiicites. in the spoon-holder, in ten of mv father's pockets, in fourteen of my big brother's , pockets, in two of my little brother's pocket, in four of my" pockets, on six j mant!epieces in the waste basket, in ' my sister's doll-house, in her bureau drawer, in the bed-clothes chest, in my ! mother's trunk, in four of my sister's ' pockets; and all the time my knife wa in my trousers leg, down at "the foot of the trousers leg, insfde the outride part ( of the trousers leg, back of the linin" of it One time when I found my knife I was sorry I found it. I will" tell you about that knife. One da I had a new , kn'fe. I ne- er had such a ptetty one. 1 It had a white handle, and 'twas'a two blader It was as good as a man's i knife. All the fellows wanted to see it and they thought 'twas a first-rate knife. It had "J. S." on the handle. , I was so careful of it that I wanted to keep hold of it when 'twas in my pocket; and I kept sitting down and taking it ' out to see it My uncle who had been gone five vears brought it to me. When I'd kept that knife not ,uite two days, there was a little hole in my pocket: a little bit of a hole. It wasn't as big round as the end of my little finger. I ' mean the very tip end of my little finger ' not where it begins to be big any. It wasn't as big as a little white bean. I . don't think it was as big as a pea. I think it was about as big as a quarter of I a pea. No fellow would think a knife j could get through that hole. But I kept i it away from that hole. I put things in between, and I kept putting: my hand ' in to touch my knife. Well, 1 played round a good while, and then we played ' I spy!" and we had to run every where; and next thing I knew 1 put my hand in my pocket and my knife was gone! and my finger went right through that hole! not just exactly the same one, for that little one had grown a bis g e one. My mother said that my knife ruDueu ana wore tne noie out Digger. Nobody could find that knife. A long time atter I lost it I stubbed my toe and fell down in the field, and my" hand hit something in some grass, and I looked there, and there was my knife. J. S." on the handle. I was not glad I found i I w sorry. It mot made ma cry. It was all rusty and black, and yoa could not start the blade one mite to Tnake it come open. My father tried ia I sever wasted to see it again, and I dug x deep hole and buried it np. I ,know the spot, and every time I go bv there I think of that knife. ' Once there was a boy lost his knife and all the boys knew it. and they, belped him hunt for it ; and when it had 'been lost about three days a boy went j-anckleberrying with another boy and he let bis basket fall down amongst the huckleberry bushes and spilled about a double-handful and that was about all he had and when he was looking amongit the huckleberry bushes trying So pick up his huckleberries, he found the other boy's knife. T mean that boy that lost his knife and he knew 'twas that boy's knife jastas Wellas'he wanted to know, but he kept it private( Groan.?), and he kept the knife out of sight, and 'obody knew He'd got it for about six weeks'; and oae day when there'd-been a circus and the boya were all standing PKUieir ucaui, mat auue uruppeu oui of that boy's pockefwhen he was standi ing on his head, and then a little fellow picked it up, and another fellow, one that had gone over sideways when he was standing on his head, saw it, and knew whose knife it was in a minute Applause). And the boy was so ashamed that he cried He fold the one that lost his knife where he found it, and all the fellows looked at him so. Imean looked at the one that found it that he kept away from playing with the boys for a long time. And when any fellow lost his knife the other ones would tell him he'd better look in that fellow's pocket I mean the one's pocket that found the knife. Ladies and gentle men, many thanks for your kind atten tion. Applause). Step by Step. I once stood at the foot of a Swiss ii ountain which towered up from the foot of the Vispbach Valley to a height of 10.000 feet. It looked like a tre mendous pull to the top. But I aid to myself, "Oh, it will require but one step at a time!'' Before sunset I stood on the summit, en;oying the magnificent view of the peaks around me, and right ouposite to me flashed the icy crown of the Weisshorn, which Prof. Tyndail was the first man to discover by taking one step at a time. Lvery boy who would master a diffi cult studj, every youth who hopes to get on in the worldmust keep this rao'to in nliud. When the famous Arago was a school-bo v he srot disc; uraed over , niatheraatiw. But one day he found on the waste leaf of the cover of a text book a short letter .from D' Alembert to a youth discouraged like himself. The advice which Ii' Alembert crave was: Go on, sir. go on." "That littlesen tence," says Arago, "was my best teacher in mathematics.' He did push on steadily, until he became the greatest mathematician of his day, by mastering one step at a time. Forgot Herself. I Aunt Nancy Ellis started the other day to make" a visit to her married daughter who lives in Pontiac. As her son's wife was busy with her household , duties, the old lady insisted on going alone to the depot "La. sakes." she said, "I rid once ' from York State to Ohio, and was six weeks on the road; 'taint nothin' to just go deown to the keers and git aboard where everybody else does. I've a hull lot of things to look after and they'll keep me from bein' lonesome while I'm waitin'.'" So the old lady went down in the street ca-s. got out at the depot, asked the "p liceman" to buy her ticket got it all right, and when the car was ready 1 was the first one to present herself at 1 the door. She went in and piled her things into a seat and then went out and . asked some one to "p'int out the con- ' ductor." j Here's my ticket" she said, pulling ! the bit of pasteboard out of a brown mitten, "and my things are set up in the seat there's a" canary bird for my grandson andabundle of flannel things for the baby, and a lamp bracket for Hannah, and a rockin' -horse for Sam my, aad my 'tother gown for company, and mv best bunnit and " All aboard!' yelled the conductor, and the old lady "felt hurt at his rude ness -it wasn't the fashion to interrupt 1 folks that way when she was young, she thought Her son had gone home to his supper and was asking his wife if mother srot , off all right when the door opened and the old laiiy walseu in. "Why, mother, what's happened?" they both inquired simultaneously. "There aint nothin' happened! ev erything went off fust-rate. I sot the things in a seat and guv the conductor the card for 'em he was kind of rude, but law-, folks don't have raal good uiauuris eiiuv muic-auu i can t see .... ..-. -... .,. i r . ere's anything; left, and vet sure to certain I feel like I'd forgotten sura thins:! ' " Whv, you didn't go yourself, moth er," said Her son; "that's what it is." I awful sakes, Jeems, you'-re right! I felt in my bones there was sumthinad I bad forgot. I never wuz one to think of myselt an' I meant togo along nil the hull time, and forgot myself; it can't be my mem'ry's failin' as late in life ea this?" Her son assured her that it was all the conductor's fault, and the next day he saw her safely off, not giving her a chance to forget herself again. Detroit Free Prcs.. m w Encouraging Him. He had been with the establishment five years without an increase in salary and without getting higher than the basement The day after New Year's old Foggs came down-stairs for a look around, and by and by he said: "James, you keep things in pretty good shape down here." "I try to, sir." "How long have you been here?" " Five years, sir." "And your salary is $15 per week?' " Yes, sir." "Fifteen, eh? Yes. Just so. Fifteen dollars a week and been here five years. Ahem! James!" " Yes. sir." I think I'll send you up-stairs." "Thanks, sir, thanks." "Can you sell goods." " I think I can, sir." "Very well. Til send you up-stairs" "Thanks thanks!" I'll send you up-stairs to ask Mr. K " "Oh! sir you are very kind." "I'll send yon up-stairs to ask Mr. K. if we can't afford to give you all your evenincs. so that you can arrange to clerk tor some grocer from seven to ten o'clock. In that way you can probably earn two or three dollars a week and spin out your salary. Yes, I think we'll let you do that ThL house has always made it a point to reward energy and honesty, and I take pleasure in advancing you step. There no thanki rua along; Chicago Herald. That Mke By. He takes about as much interest in the work he i-i hired to do as would a young bear similarly circumstanced, and little is the wonder. He is simply employed as a human machine to run,, fetch, carry and hold things. The office is to him a prison. He is frowned upon, reproved, sat down upon and snubbed by everybody. There is no one left for the office boy to snub. He is the lowest in the class. He has no one to kick. He brings with him a nood lunch and eats it at tea o'clock. He re tires into a corner and. eats between whiles. He may at times be heard munching and munching. Which makes the nervous clerk more nervous, who bids the ot&ce boy "stop that munching." Which the office boy does not always stop. But goes into another corner and resumes munching, and renders "himself thereby obnoxious to some other 'nervous official.,. The office boy has a dull jack knife, with which he whittles, sometimes a stick, sometimes the furniture. His initials are carved about in various stages of incompletion. He has a ten dency to leave half consumed bretd, but ter and meat lunches in odd and unoc cupied drawers. Which, when by the enraged owner opened weeks afterwards, emit rank and musty smells. By that time the guilty office boy has gone. His place is filled by some other miserable office boy. There ii of them a constant succession. Their identity and individ uality are of no earthly importance. It is merely a small and uneasy boy, who munches and weats out the seat of his pantaloons as he twists himself about in his chair, and is sworn at and grumbled by everybody. Between his tasks he becomes absorbed in a string. Or plays with the office cat. Or draws rude resemblances to human forms and faces with the stuaip of a pen cil. If there be two office boys it Is next to impossible to keep them apart They will gravitate towards" each other like magnets and chatter in the piping treble of office-boy era. When "howled at by the nervous person present, the piping subsides into a confounded whispering. This intensifies the nervous, clerk's ner vousness, who arises straightway, knocks together the heads of the two-office boys, who thereat separate and -silently shed teare, punctuating the sheddinga at in tervals of thirty seconds with sniffinea and repressed snivellings, which again attacks the nerves of the nervous func tionary present If the two office boys can manage to get just outside the office door or on the other side -of the board partition, they quickly make up for lost time and collo quine. pipingly and possibly scuffle. Whereat there is more howling arid another twisting of ears or knocking of office boys heads together, with the at tendant coursing of silent tears down dirty faces, all Being punctuated with the usual sniffs and snivels of the office boys. Set these two office boys to the per formance of any one task, and they will together require double the time of any single office boy. As a rule, the more you have of them the less there is done. Three office boys in one office will eventually drive somebody into insanity. Life is a tiresome, dreary thing to that office boy. Men about him who use him are interested and absorbed in their business. He is not He has not yet ar rived at the business stage of being. He is a boy, or rather wants to be a boy, and can't He longs for marbles, tops, kites, traps, . skates, dogs, guns, rabbits and Guinea pigs. He longs for a saw, ham mer and nails wherewith he may set to and destroy his father's barn. He h being cheated out of his boyhood in that office. He is the merest unconsidered adjunct of the great business machine a peg, a nail, a screw therein, to be used, worn and fazged out in the process of making somebody's fortune. Is it any wonder that the dime novel has such a fascination for the office boy? That it is his constant pocket companion"? That he pores over it when not in ser vice? That he revels in prairies, buna loes, bears and Indian fight-"? Where otherwise is his recreation? O man absorbed in business, turn aside for a moment, contemplate your office boy, put yourself in his place, and give him a moment's consideration. Think of the blood of youth demanding action now stagnating in your close,"heated, stuffy office. You can go in and out at pleasure. But your office boy must re main to guard your desk and papers; to say that you are engaged when for the unwelcome person who calls it is ex pedient that you are engaged; to say that you are out'and that none can tell when you will return when for that certain un welcome caller it is expedient that you are out, and that none shall know- pre cisely the time of your return. True, you are bringing him up in the way he should go, from- a business and com mercial standpoint of view. j i et for him it is now a dreary road. He is as happy as the Italian' organ grinder's monkey, who, inwardly protest ing, performs his tricks, wishing all the while he was climbing the trees of his native tropics. X. 1. Graphic. He Meant It. "I was playing in a minstrel troupe one season and traveling through Texas. One night, I think it was in Palestine, we missed connection and were compelled to lay over. Frayne was then playing ' "Si Slocuui," with his wife acting as ' Lucy Slocum. As he was to occupy the j opera-house that night I, accompanied by several of our troupe, went over to see the show. The hall was a miserable, tumble-down frame shantv, lighted bv candles and lamps. The light, you may i be sure, was not the best in the world, but, nevertheless, the audience, which completely filled the house, seemed to i thoroughly enjoy the play, and mani-1 fested their approbation by loud shouts and huzzas, when the time came for Frayne to shoot the apple from his wife's , head she was brought on the stage blind-1 folded. She was nervous and excited, ! and shook like my bas drum when I gave it a healthy whack. The light waa too poor for Frayne to see distinctly, and it was plainly to be seen that he had misgivings of his own power. The audience seemed to take in the situation. Suddenly one of the auditors i a big, burly cowboy, with a sombrero as wide as the Tabor stage jumped up from his seat and pointed a pistol fair at ' Frayne, saying out, in a firm voice: "Don't shoot or I'll pulverize you!" i Frayne glanced down at the resolute look'ing stranger, and seemed to be glad of his intervention. The whole house took up the cry, '"Don't shoot," and the affrighted woman tore the bandage from her ires and said, in pleading tones: "Don t attempt to anger that gentleman, Frank; he means what he says." "Bet yer boots, gal, I do," replied the stranger. That part of the play was omitted for that night, and the Indians had to be killed twice to make up for the cutting of ' the programme. Ltnmr F CENEKAL 1STEM3T, A colored man named Hatchitt has beam aeatsneed to oae year im b peni tentiary by taa Wwifanon,; (Ky.): Cir cuit Court for obtaining a beafstake un der false pretensea, N.O. Picayiini. Jennie B. Henry, of New Castle, Pa,. sent np a toy baloon'with her nama and address, attached, aad requested the find er to notify her. In thirty days- she was advised that it had descended at Star berry, Miss. The Nineteenth Century Club is the same of a new organization in New-York." Its object is the hearing and - criticisiag of the most progressive, thought. ' Among the members there are women as well as men. N. Y. MaiL Miss Emily FaitMal has fee fth philanthropy bniinsafor,the last twemty nve years, and yet a Chicago hackmaa palmed a lead quarter off on her theother day without the least twb3ge o'f-conscience. Detroit FretPrem. . For sasoe tiiaethe lettar-bage is the' village of Cardross, Scotland,, have been carried by a collie dog, who has never made a mistake respecting his destina tion, nor has he ever lost anything. The postoffics authorities, however, have or dered the services of this faithful and in telligent public servant to be discon-" tinued. The sorrows of a Georgia editor are thus depicted in the Montezuma Weekly: "We donned a man for a three-dollar subscription bill the other day while he was purchasing six or seven gallons ot whisky. He pulled out twenty cents and gave it to us. We would almost as soon have had a knock in our face for the trouble." A miner at the Albion reduction works, Eureka, New, became so stimu lated from inhaling carbonic acid gas, mixed with lead fumes, while repairing one of the tunnel fume escapes, that bad he not been immediately secured he would have killed three men standing near him with a sledge hammer, which he snatched in his mad fit About six years ago a little son of Mr. Henry Shatler, of Johnstown, Pa., fell dead in the street during a thunder storm, and it was thought at the time that he had been struck by lightning, a presumption which was disproved by a subsequent examination. Recently an other son of the same gentleman dropped dead while skating. Fifteen cases of small-pox among the female operatives .of the paper mills at Conshghocken, Pa., had their origin in the dirty paper and rags gathered from the streets of Philadelphia and sent to the mills to be made' into new white paper, such as schoolboys chewinto wads, with which they bother their teachers and ornament thecitizen-L Philaildphia Xeics. A young man, arrested in Washing ton for beating his father, excused him self on the plea that he was following scripture. "How is that?" asked the Judge. "Whv, whom the Lord Ioveth he chastiseth,"' replied the youth. "I love my father, and so when he came home drunk I chastised him, and I think it's done him good." He was fined ten dollars for misquoting. The good people of Xeponset, Mass., have discovered what they had supposed for several weeks to be the ghost of some pirate king flitting about, "the Pirate's Cove" is only another seeker after the treasure which tradition sayj some rascally rover of the deep long ago secreted on that spot For many vears periodical searches have been made by fortune-hunters with more time than sense at their disposal, but the presence of some evil spirit or the absence of the treasure has nitherto cheated them of their reward; the latest adventurer will probably not be the last The American Machinist prints let ters from over forty establishments en gaged in manufacturing machinery, en gines, boilers, tools and machinist's sup plies, representing several States, which tend to show that 1S32 was a signally prosperous years, and that confidence in trade for the present year is not lacking. Taken as a whole, however, prices of ma chinery and tools, are lower than they were, and the tendency is toward closer competition. Iron and other materials that enter into machine construction are lower, but as a rule wages of first-class mechanics have not declined. The car carrying the properties of the Madison Sjuare theatre company was wrecked recently, en route to Rahway, X. J., and when the time came for the curtain to rise at the theatre at that place-the stage manager explained the situation to the audience, and that the actors would be obliged to appear in their ordinary street cootumes, adding that those of the audience that desired to do so could have their money refunded at the box-office. Not a person left the theatre, and the play went on, the actors striving to make up by attention to their duties -what was lacking in the matter of stage costumes. The shortage in the beef aupplv which was caused by the great drouth of 1881 has been fully repaired by the season of 1832, and beef ot good quality is again plentiful. The pinch was felt, however, until last fall. The potato famine of last year still has an effect upon the market, and potatoes are much higher than they might be, considering the crop of last season. One good result of the shortage was the importation of an excellent variety 6f potatoes from Scot land. Many farmers planted th? im ported potatoes, and the result is an ex cellent tuber. Rochester X. V.) Demo crat. In Como District, Nevada, there is a mining claim which was Iocatad several months ago by the Ely sisters, aged sixteen and fourteen, and named the Woodbine and DafibdiL These young ladies, who are personally very attractive, are at work developing their claim, in the value of which they have great con fidence. Like all prospectors, they look upon their propertv as the coming rival of the Consolidated Virginia and Califor nia bonanza. They have already sunk a haft eight feet deep and twelve by six feet in size, doing ail the work with their own hands and picks and shovels in hard-picking ground. They deserve the success which all their friends wish them. Chicago Times. ---Mr. X says to his friend who is suf fering from a very severe bronchial at tack: "You ought to call in Dr. Tel!; he saved my life this summer." "I did not know you had been sick lately." "Well, no; I wasn't sick; I was out swimming with the Doctor when I was taken with the cramp-', and I should surely have drowned if he had not sup ported me till help came." The use of artificial leather is now suggested for buggy tops and for up holstering purposes where leather is now used. The new material has the alleged advaatage of being much more imper vious to water than the.genuine or natur al article, while it is found to wear longer and looks better. PKKS0X.1L AND LITERARY. Victor Hugo will aot keep a plant1 or bird as prisoner, in his house." The Southern pcet, Paul H. Hayne. is a nephew of Colonel Hayne. who many-think: had the better of Mr. Web ster in the celebrated a-fi-umeat He la a man of polished manners and natural sloquence. Surgeon-General W. J. Dale, of Massachusetts, retired f;om office with the incoming erf Governor-ttutlsr, after twenty-one years' service for the State. -He is the last remaining active member of Governor Andrew's staff- Joseph-Holt. President Bnchan-in's PoHtmaste.-Ge. era! and afterward Sec retary bt War and Judge-"Advocate-"eneral, lives in ?t ict retirement in Washington. He is a chil ihj-a wi 'Ower, -aad is very, seldom teen ia public- Major Burke ot the New. Orleans Ttme-tasi0cra,-weBt to work in a stone-yard sj .ccsunon laborer just after the -war.' He "is-sow supposed to be worth $500,000. and to be looking to wards the United States Senate. CAi cago Journal Mr. I abouchere savs in London Truth that "Anthony Trollope never matle anything a proaching to 100, 000." and that the "mo.t h:ghly re munerated and successful" author of the ll-th century, taking into account the amount of work accomplished, was certainly George Eliot. Mrs. Sarah Wood, aged 121 years, d ed at Buiord. Ga.. recently. She was a slip of a voung woman when the Dec aration b Independence ' was signed, and her husband fought " at tho battle of King's Moun ain. They had eleven children. She lived 102 years in Buford and was for fifty years a mem ber of the Baptist l hurch. Rev. Dr. William M. Taylor, of New York, in a lecture on "Book3." said: "In reading novels I would advise one to read it as Hebrew is read, backward I'nravel the plot, and then youcanrcad the book with an appreciation of its beauties aud not hurry it over with your ears lis. ening all the time for the marriage bel's of the end." Ca tain Nutt. who was recently kille I in I nioniown. 1 a., only a few months ago purchased a , roprietary in terest in the Ha ri-biirg(l'a,)WvrnpA. and intended, at the exp'ration of his terra of office as Cashier of the Penn sylvania State Treasury, to d-vote him self to journal sm. He was a member of the 1'cnnsyl.iima Historical Soc oty. tht'ivlelphia I'res. John G. Whit tier writes the follow ing note iu response to an inquiry an to the truth of a published rumor "that a play from his pen w:t shoitty to be pro duced "Thy tfnie wdl be lost in go ng in search of the 'drama" of the news- faper slip. 1 never knew of it before, t is a very foolish lie. The idea of a uaker play-wriht is unspeakably ab surd." John F. Mcl'ona'd, of Indiana, has been telling his reminiscences of Abra ham Lincoln. He reports "Old Abo" assaying "The death j enalty is one of the rao-t dithYult uestions with which ! have to deal. When a sol "ier desers to go over to the enemy and M caj t tired. I let the law take its course, but when a nnm has been a long tim in the service and has not had a fur lough, and who. when on picket gets to th nking of his wife and children, an I fteaks or tall timber. I never let them harm a hair of his head." Chicago Her aid. " - e . HUMOROUS. ''ne of the add-st moments in life is when a man is looking through an old vest and thinks he has found a ten-cent piece, which, when 1 rought to light turns out to be a eoiixh lozenge. Puck. Old Mrs. B. came to town last week from Indiana on an excursion, and when she was ask-il why she was in such a hurry to leave she" replied : "I've got to ; you ee as how I came in on an ex ertion train anil my ticket perspires to night" Drummer. A Fairhaven five-year oldch Id who went to s hool for the first time, came home at noon, and said to her mother : "Mamma. I don't think that teacher knows much." "Why not my dear?" "Why he kept asking questions all the time." She a-ke 1 where the Mississippi iver was." Boston Post. A child ha' ing sustained horizon tal Relatons with His mother's lap. was hea-d to Philo-ophicallv remark that Spanking not only Pevelopcd the Bot t. m fact of a Slipper's usefulness, but also Afforded the Spankee anadm rable pportunity of appreciating the Bea i tlful and Wondrois Intricacies of the carpet Pattern Denver Tribune. The New York Sun has embarked in the laudable busines- of instructing its contemp oraries "esteemed" and otherwise, iu th use of good English. There aren t nothing that we can th nk of what wo despise more than poor grammar and loose syntax in the news papers. The Sun are engaged in a good work. orristoivn Hera d. Here is a Welsh song. The Ameri can who would sing it must first take an emetic, a pinch of C'avenne pepper in his nose and breathe the sulphur fumes of a few matches. Then it comes natural enourh Chwychl ni-h oehl och uchau o cbowea Ach ii wen achy chan Iuchewftt 'vch tiv'a run-h li-h iarbnu !uch wyi bach eweb o ch nchitu." Once u on a time an editor in search of food was com cl!cd to pawn his diamond shirt-studs for a loaf of bread. While conveying the bumble meal to his castle a hungrv dog ran of with it, and a few moments later rob bers deprived the oditor of his watch. Instead of being rattled by these unto ward incident-C the editor smilinglv re marked "I thank the gods that I still have my ap: etite left." We are taught by this little fable that true content ment is the greatest of all journalistic boons. Chietbjo Time. "Father." he began as he entered the library w th a hesitating te;. "may I ask you a question ."' "Certainly, my dear a thousand if you like.'" "Are you afraid of dogs ?" Why.no !" "Did a dog ever bite you0" "Never." "Did one ever try to?" "Not as I remember of." "Could dogs biteyou if they wanted to?" "Whv. I p esume so but I'm not nfra'd." "Oh. you needn't be a bit afraid, for I heard a man on a Sixta avenue car sav that he was laying for j you and would put you where the dogs couldn t Dite you ! He said you unloaded ou him. .V. '. Sun. Ma;or Gale Faxon bought a horse from the pastor of an Austin church, and shortly afterwards the following conversation was heard : "You have swindled me with that horse you sold melast week." "How so ?'' asked the c!erg man. very much surprised. "Well. I only had him for three days when h died.' " That's very strange. I owned him twenty-three years, and worked him hard every day, and never knew him to do that whil I owned him,"- Ttzai Sifting,