t..i..iik 2ifca
Yrc.ii uk-
jLc
THE JOURNAL.
ISsUKIJ KVEKY WEDNESDAY,
M. K. TURSTER & CO.,
Proprietor and Publisher.
KATES OF ADTEMTISUVC;.
QTBusiness and professional carda
of five lines or less, per annum, five
dollars.
37 For time advertisements, apply
at this office.
EiTLegal advertisements at statue
rates.
JSTor transient advertising, see
rates on third page.
J3TA11 advertisements payable
monthly.
'OFFICE, Eleventh St., p ffaii
fn Journal Building.
terms:
Per year
Six mouths
Three months
Single copies
92
1
."5
VOL. XIII.-N0. 43.
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 21, 1883.
WHOLE NO. 667.
ts
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51
BUSINESS CABDS.
OKXELU't HIJlAITAJf,
ATTORy EYS-A1-L A W,
I7p-stalrs in Oluck Building. 11th street,
Above tbe New bank.
TT J. Hi:iM3i.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
litk .Strt, 2 tloon. Hnt of lUwnioml lions,
Columbus. Neb. '"
pvK. m. t. thi;rjtoi
It ESI D EST D EXT1 ST.
Office over corner ofl lib and Xurth-st.
All operation. ur-t-rla-s and warranted.
C
AllMAO IIAKIIKK MIIOl!
HEXKY WOOlb. lMun-'lt.
yarEvervtiiiiHf iu tirt-class style.
Also keep the be-t ofcigara. .lC-y
A KEK : KKKUKK,
A TTORXE YS A T LA 1"
Office on Olie t-. olumbu. Nebraska.
2-tf
f fi. A. Ht'l-IHOHT. A.il.. M.I.,
11031 EUP A Till C I'll YSl CIAS,
jgrTuo Hlo-k- -outh of Court Home.
Telephone communication. 3-ly
lrcALUSTER BROS.,
A TTORXEYS A T LA W,
Office up-stairs in McAllister's build
ing. Uth at. W. A. .McAllister, Notary
Public.
J. M. MACKAKLANH,
Atursi7 isiUctir- Kifz.
11. K. CoWDKKY.
.v,.
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE
OK
MACFARLAND& COWDERf,
Columbus, : : : Xebraska.
pi EO. -V DKBK1'.
PA IS TE It.
SSTCarriitse, hue and -is;n painting,
glazing, paper h inging, knl-ominin::, etc.
done to order. Shop on 13th St., opposite
Enjrine Hou-e, Columbus, Neb. 10-y
TJ II.Kl'NCHK,
llth St., nearly opp. Gluck's store,
S 1 Harness, Saddle-, Collar-. Whips,
B uket-, Currj Comb-. Brushes, etc.,
at the lowe-t possible prices. Itepair
pr mptly attended to.
pi W. CLAKK.
LA XI) AND 1XSURAXCE AGEXT.
HUMPH It EY, XEBIi.
Hi? land- eomprie some line tracts
iu the heli Creek Vallej, and the north
ern portion i 1'1-tte" county. T.tye
paid for non-re-ulcnt-. satisfaction
guaranteed. -i
BYKON MILLET!,
Justiceof the Peace and
Xotarj Public.
UVKO .11 II. LETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Columbus
Nebraska. X. B.- He will jrive
clo-e attention to all buiti-s eiitru-ted
to him. -is-
OU1S at HUKlBKIt.
BLACKSMITH AND WAGON MAKER.
All kind of repairing done on -hort
notice. Busies, Wagons, etc., made to
order, and all work guaranteed.
t3TShop opposite the Tatter-all,"
Olie Street. "
VTfAWEK A: UWKOIT,
A I 11IK-
CllECKERED II J EX,
Are prepared to turni-h the public w'th
good :eanis, bujruie- and carriage- for all
occasion-, especiall for funerals. Also
conduct a feed and -ale stable. 4!
J
'AMES PKABSAL1.
Is, I'KEPAKEIt, WITH
FIRST - CLASS API' A RA TVS,
To remove houses at reasonable
rate-. (iic ni in a tall.
N
Of ICE TO'l'EAC'llEKN.
J. E- Moncrief. Co. Supt.,
Will be in. his office t the Court House
on the first Saturdax of each
month for the purpose of examinin-'
applicant- f.ir leather's certificate-, and
for the tran-actton of au other bu-hie
pertaining to school-. ."(iT-y
c
tOLi;HBI' lA'liIC! CO,
COLUMBUS, - NEB.,
Packers and Heller- in all kinds of Hoj:
product, ca-h paid for l.ie or Dead llo
or crease.
Directors.-l. H Henry, Pre-t.: .lohn
Wippius, ace. and Trea-.: I.. Gerrard, S.
Cory.
TAMES XAl.niW,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimate- supplied for either
frame r brick building--. Good work
ni' ""B"-' tto de rfcriL-Street, nar
t.TSTF.TC.-iTaW4""- -.bu-. Ne
braska. i- tm-
D.T. Martx, M. I). F. -chug, M. I..
( Deutscher Art:.)
Drs. MAETYN & SCHUG,
U. S. Examining Surgeons,
Local Sunreon-. Union Pacific and
., N. i B. II. U. It's.
COLUMBUS. - NEBRASKA.
S.'-voI-xiii-y
WILLIAM RYAN.
DEALER IX
KENTUCKY WHISKIES
Wines, Ales. Cigars and Tobacco.
yg5chilz's 3Iilwaukee Beer constant
ly on hand.g3
Elevestu ST..
Columbus. Neb.
JS. MURDOUK & SON,
Carpenters and Contractors.
Hsvenad an extended experience, and
will Guarantee satisfaction, in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is, Good work and
fsir prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunitytoestimateforyou. S3fSbop on
13th SU,one door west of Friedhof Jfe
Co'i. store. Columbus. Xebr. a3.v
THE
COLUMBUS FLAX AND TOW CO.,
Are prepared to receive and pay $3.00 per
ton for good clean flax straw (free from
foreign substances) delivered on their
grounds near the Creamery, in Colum
bus Nebraska.
COLTJM BUS FLAX & TO W CO.,
GEO. SMITH. Aft.
Coiunbus, Dec. 5, 1SS2. C2-3a
ADVERTISEKEHTS.
FIRST
National Bank!
COLUMBUS, NEB.
Authorized Capital,
Cash Capital,
8250,000
50,000
OFFICERS AND niKEClOK-.
A. AXDEIi-OX, l'rest.
SA.M'L C. SMIVH. Vice Pres't.
O.T. ItOKX, Cashier.
.1. W. KABLY,
IMHtKKT rune..
H MEM AX OKHLUICH.
W. A.McVLLIvrEK.
(J. AXUKKSOX,
P. AND. IESOX.
Foreign and lnlatid Exchange, Passage
Tickets, Kcal E-t He, Loan anu Insurance.
-vol-l3-lr
BECKER & WELCH,
PIIOPIEIF.TOUS OF
SHELL CREEK HILLS.
MAXUFACTPKEltS AND WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IX
FLOUR AND MEAL.
OFFICE, COL UMB US, NEK.
SPE1CE & NORTH,
General Agents for the Sale of
REAL ESTATE.
Union Pacific, and Midland Pacific
R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to $10.00
per acre for cash, or on five or ten years
time, iu annual payments to suit pur
chasers. We hae also a Iarj;e and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, for sale at low price and
on reasonable terms. Also busine. and
residence lots in the city. We keep a
complete abstract of title to all real es
tate in Platte County.
G-Jl
COLDMRIlJi. .Ell.
PISBITS BE !
Bl'V T1IE-
Patent Roller Process
MINNESOTA
FLOUR!
ALWAYS GIVES SATISFACTION,
Beeauc it makes a Mipcrirr article of
bread, aud is the cheapest Hour
in the market.
Errry .toe: warranted to run alike, or
moiiry refunded.
HERMAN OEHLRICH & BRO.,
GROCERS.
l-"m
LANDS, FARMS,
AXD
CITY PROPERTY I-'OR SALE,
-AT THE
Union Pacfic Land Office,
On Low Time and low rate
of I n teres-1.
All wlshiu to buy Rail Road Lauds
orlmproed Farm- will llntl it to their
advantage to call at the l. P. Land
Office before lookin elsewhere as 1
make a specialty of buying; and -cllinj;
laud- on commission; all peron ui-h-I
iiX to sell farms or unimproved land
will find it to their advantage to Ieae
their laud- with me for sale, as my fa
cilities for ailectini; sales are uiisur-pa.--rd.
( am. prepared to make lilia!
proof for all partie wishing to get a
patent for their homestead-.
JSTHenry Cordes, Clerk, writes and
speaks (ierman.
SAMUEL C. SMITH,
Agt. L'. P. Land Department.
621.y COLUMBUS, NEB
WM. BECKER,
UEALKU IN ALL KINDS OK
FAMILY GROCERIES!
I KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A
WELL SELECTED S I'Ot K.
Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups,
Dried and Canned Fruits,
and other Staples a
Specialty.
Goedx Delivered Eree to amy
part of Ike City.
I AM ALSO AGENT FOR THE CEL
EBRATED COQUIIXARD
Farm and Spring Wagons,
of which 1 keep a constant supply on
band, but few their equal. In style" and
quality, second to none.
CALL AND IXARN PRICES.
Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near
A. &2f. Depot.
THE NEW YEAR.
I am the little New Tear, ho, ho!
Here I come tripping it over the snow.
Shaking my bells with a merry din.
So open your doors and let me In I
Blessings I bring- for. each and all.
Big folks and little folks, short and Ullj
Each one from me a treasure may win.
So open your doors and let me in!
Some shall have silver, and some shall har
gold.
Some shall have new, clothes, and some shall
have old;
Soma shall have brass and some: shall have tin.
So open your doors and let me in!
Some shall have water, and some shall hav
milk:
Some shall bavesatimandsomesball have silk;
But each one from me a blessimr may win.
So open your doors and let me in!
A PICTURE AND A TALE.
In Newstead Abbey, once the home of
Lord Byron, bangs a picture which for
two hundred years, has preached with
silent lips a pungent sermon on the sin
of anger. It represents a tall, finely
formed man in armor, holding reversed
in bis band a ridingwhip, the handle
weighted with iron. Beside him stands
a beautiful boy, ten or eleven years of
age, with long,- soft brown curia falling
over his shoulders, and large blue, vacant
eyes. It is Lord Arundel, a nobleman
of the eventeeth century, and his son
and heir. The picture has a melancholy
history, and represents a dastardly deed
committed in tne madness of ungoverned
and causeless anger.
Lord Arundel was finely educated and
spent his earlier manhood in Paris. He
was noted for a variety of manly accom
plishments, and for an uprightness and
generosity of character which won him
many friends. Joined to these good
qualities, however, was a capricious tem
per, which flamed into fury on the
slightest provocation. He seems never
to nave made a strong effort to control
these outbursts of passion. He was an
only son, inheritor of a noble name and
patrimony, and when he was about thirty
years of age, married a beautiful lady-in-waiting
to Queen Henrietta Maria,
and went to reside on his estates in the
north of England.
A son to inherit his possessions and
perpetuate the name and honors of his
family was the most ardently desired
wish of his heart. For some years this
blessing was denied, but at last, to his
intense jov, a beautiful boy was born
to him. He became the devoted com
panion, instructor and friend of the child,
and forsook the world of society and
ambition to forward the education and
moral training of the little Maurice.
The boy was a child of rare beauty and
intelligence, and his nature unfolded
underTiis father'a care, like an exquisite
flower. The two were inseparable, walk
ing, riding and studying together in the
most devoted confidence and affection.
The father's pride in the child was as
great as his love, and both were used to
develop in the bov noble and manly
qualities and to fit him for the lofty sta
tion to which he was born.
Lord Arundel's besetting sin was still
indulged with apparently no effort at re
pression or oure. His affections were
strong, and his life so tranquil and well
ordered, that exhibitions of rage were
less frequent than in earlier davs; but
occasional indulgences proved that the
baleful fire only smouldered and. the
lightest breath might fan it into flame.
On his eleventh birthday Maurice's
grandmother gave him a beautiful
Arabian horse. He loved to feed and
caress the fine animal, and 'Selim," as
the horse was called, soon knew his little
master, and would turn his dark, intelli
gent eyes upon him with a look of al
most human affection, and arch his glossy
neck and rub his head against him ih
recognition of kindness and attention.
A word was sufficient to control him, and
the spirited creature knew nothing of
the indignity of a blow.
One lovely June morning, Maurice
was at his lessons in the library with his
father. Outside the sun was shining, the
birds were making merry; the grass and
flowers and waving trees invited the
boy's attention, aid distracied it from his
studies. Just the kind of a day on which
a boy in the nineteenth century would be
tempted to play truant, and join some
idle dog in a ramble through the woods.
Maurice found it difficult to fix his
mind on his studies, and gave careless
and inattentive answers to his father's
questions. Lord Arundel became im
patient and reproved his son several
times, and on being called from the room
to see a person on business, left him with
an injunction to apply himself strictly to
his studies, and in liis absence on no" ac
count to leave the library. Unfortunately
his lordship was detained a long time and
annoved -by the business, ana when at
length he was at liberty, proceeded to the
library in a state of fretful impatience.
His boy was nowhere to be seen. The
sound of blows greeted his ears coming
from the courtyard, where the grooms
sometimes exercise the horses. He strode
to the window and beheld Maurice, his
face inflamed with passion, holding the
bridleof Seliin with one hand and violent
ly beating the groom with a riding whip.
The man made no resistence, but evi
dently addressed some jerking words to
the angry boy. He afterward acknowl
edged that he was giving the horse a
beating when Maurice called to him from
the window to desist. He replied that
so young a gentleman knew nothing
about the training of horses, and the
child, after repeating the command
several times, flew out and took the mat
ter into his own hands.
Lord Aruudel called Maurice and com
manded him peremptorily to return to
the library, a command immediately
obeyed. On presenting himself before
his father he strove to explain, but was
silenced at once. He had been guilty of
an act of disobedience, and in Lord
Arundel's mood only the humblest
apology would have stayed the torrent of
hir rage.
"Are you juilty?" he cried, harshly, to
the boy.
"NTof said Maurice, emphatically, the
fire of feeling flashing from his eyes.
Lord Arundel snatched the whip which
Maurice still held in his hand ana struck
him a blow on the head with the handle
in which was inserted an iron bar.
The bov sank to the floor without a
groan. The whip dropped from the
hand of the miserable father, and with a
great cry of anguish he fell insensible
over the prostrate body of his son.
The cry attracted servants to the room,
the first arrival being the groom who had
beated Selim. He took the boy in his
arms and bore him to his mothers apart
ment, where he lay unconscious for
several days. When at last the flicker
ing life returned and consciousness was
restored it became apparent that the
brave, bright, promising boy was reduced
to timorous imbecility.
Not a glimmer of reason or memory
ever appeared again on the white and
vacant face. He attached himself to his
father without knowing him, and fol
lowed him mechanically from room to
room, and the latter was iorced to bear
constantly,, in his sight the piteous monu
ment of his ungoverned paadoo. His
Illy laughter echoed through the stately
halls, and a baby's rattle served to occupy
bis vacant mind.
It was at this time the miniature iu
Xewstead Abby was painted, which Lord
Arundel bore about with him to the end
of his life.
Matthew Arnold alludes to this melan
choly history in a sonnet on Newstead
Abbey. Mrs. Lucy L. Stout, in Youth? t
Companion.
Tke Late Great Magnetic Stem.
The magnetic storm which recently
thrilled through the earth's frame was
the most remarkable phenomenon of the
kind which has occurred in a year mem
orable for auroral displays. The sudden
manifestation of its subtle but intense
force, just as marked meteorological dis
turbances and winter's outburst in our
latitudes occurred . stronelv suireests the
probability of some unexplained connec
tion between the magnetic and atmos
pheric weather. The appearance of a
vast brilliant auroral arch at Thelpa, m
this toUte, led Professor Broola to warn
us that ''great meteorlogical disturbances
might be expected." lears ago the
Italian astronomer Seech i pointed out the
fact that the aurora "is followed bv a
decided and extensive change of weather
and seems to be connected with great
atmospheric movements." With more
precision Marie Daw announced in 18C6,
as the result of extensive inquiries, that
general disturbances of the telegraphic
lines, due to widespread auroras, indicate
general movements of the atmosphere in
high latitudes and over the Atlantic."
Subsequent observations of simultaneous
magnetic and meteorological conditions
undoubtedly corroborate this conclu
sion. But unfortunately no law con
necting the two kinds of phenomena has
yet been discovered, though science has
had ample opportunity to make such dis
covery. It seems, for these and other reasons,
more probable that such phenomena as
were witnessed in this country are due to
solar agencies, the effects of which cul
minated about the same time both
meteorologically and magnetically. It
is easy to see how increased radiation of
solar heat may affect the barometric and
hygrometric conditons of our atmosphere,
but it is not so clear how it will affect the
earth's magnetic conditions. Still we are
not wholly without evidence that the sun
does affect terrestrial magnetism both
directly and indirectly. The great mag
netic storm of September 1, 1859, rose
and made its vibrations felt simultaneous
ly with an observed outburst of energy
oh the solar disk, and the eaually re
markable magnetic storm of last April
1C, was coeval with the passage of a
tremendous spot on the sun's surface.
But a hopeful clew to the unravelling of
the mystery is found in Sir George Airy's
discovery that the diurnal inequalities of
the magnetic horizontal force are "the
effects of the attraction of the red or
north end of the needle by the heated
Eortions of our globe, especially by the
eated sea, whose effect appears to pre
dominate over that of the laud." The
sun, therefore, seems to exert a direct
and occasionally powerful influence on the
earth's magnetism and also an in
direct influence, through the heated
ocean and- land masses of the globe. And
it is not hard to believe that, after the
recent observed variations in the sun's
activity, that body is now responsible for
our late magnetic storm. So marked
have been the apparent thermal condi
tions of the sun during the last three
months that the English scientist, Mr.
Mattieu Williams, thinks, "the recent
weather of the earth indicates an appre
ciable inciease of its mean temperature."
Though these conclusions are necessarily
hypothetical and the data on which they
rest extremely fragmentary it seems
nevertheless that they point to the infer
ence that our coming season is not to be
marked by abnormal and excessive cold.
The present year has been extraordin
arily fruitful in intense and widely ex
tended magnetic and auroral phenomena,
and if science is to do anything in our
generation toward clearing up the mys
teries of their origin and of their relations
to the great meteorological events it
should be astir. With the large network
of meteorological observatories encircling
the middle latitudes of the globe and
even the Arctic area, all the data requi
site for reinvestigation of these phenom
ena are within reach. If the great prob-
Lleuis of terrestrial physics thrust upon
the world by such disturbances as have
just been accorded were scientifically
attacked in earnest results of the highest
scientific and practical value would
doubtless be soon secured. N. Y. Herald.
Crying Babies.
We donotsupposethatanyof our read
ers, who live within two hundred
yards of a house in which there is a young
child, will require us to swear to the fact
that babies cry. It is positively certain
that thev do crv, but whv they cry has
always been an unfathomed mystery, al
though all manner of conjectures have
been made. When the little cherubs screw
their faces up into a knot, preparatory to
setting up a howl, and convulsively work
their legs, after the manner of an insane
jumping jack, the general opinion is that
colic is furnishing the motive power. On
other occasions, the person of the infant
is searched for a concealed weapon in the
shape of a pin. Our own opinion, founded
on a great deal of actual experience, is that
babies cry because they have lungs. It
must be admitted that if they have no
lungs their vocal solos woula not have
quite as much compass. What is really
needed is the discovery of a process
whereby the lungs of an infant can be re
moved' without danger, only to be replaced
when the infant has arrived at an age
when it can comprehend the enormity of
the crime of keeping people awake at night
by prolonged shrieks. It is a popular im
pression that a baby cries just to hear
itself cry, as it seems to had no other
object, but this is knocked in the head by
a German doctor, who, having given the
matter his closest attention, insists that,
until they are several months old, all in
fants are'deaf. If this be really a fact, it
is distressing to think of the amount of
"wootsy tootsy" talk that has been squan
dered on infants since the first was born.
Hereafter, when fond parents want to
converse with the newly arrived addition,
it will have to be through an ear trumpet,
since nature has neglected to supply in
fants with them at their birth. At any
rate, the old idea that babies cry just to
hear themselves cry is pretty effectually
exploded. Texas Sitings.
A Chicago doctor delivered a lecture
there Wednesday evening, explaining
how a man feels when drunk. It would
have been a very remarkable Chicago
audience that couldn't have told any
doctor more about that in two minutes
than any doctor could have told them in
an hour of explanation. Detroit Free
Presi.
Twelve hours after a child had been
pronounced dead by a doctor at Neshan
nock, Mercer County, Pa., it commenced
to cry, and at latest accounts was recov
ering.
Weather Prognostics.
These prognostics are deduced from
observations gathered from the most re
liable sources in England, embracing 112
years, from 1677 to 1789, and are as
follows:
X. When the vernal equinox is not
preceded or followed by the usual equi
noctial storms, the succeeding summer
will be dry at least five times in six.
2. If easterly storms occur on the 19th,
20th or 21st of May, the ensuing summer
will likewise be dry; the same character
istic applies to storms, from whatever di
rection, on the 25th, 26th or 27th of
March, viz.: a dry summer will follow.
3. When storms happen from or be
tween the 19th and 22d of March, having
directions from the west southwest, the
succeeding summer will be wet five times
out of six. In England, when both win
ter and spring are dry thev are always
cold, but when these two seasons are wet
they are usually warm ; on the contrary,
dry summers and autumns are most al-
ways hot and wet summers cold; hence
if the humidity of any special season be
determined, an approximately correct
idea may be formed what the prevailing
temperature will be.
4. A wet autumn, succeeded by a mild
winter, is generally followed by a dry
and cold spring, which will be unfavor
able to the growth of vegetation.
5. A wet summer is most always suc
ceeded by a severe cold winter, because
the terrestrial heat has been carried oft'
by evaporation ; it has also been observed
that wet summers promote great pro
ficiency on the white thorn or dagrase,
so that an unusual fruitfulness of the
shrubs is considered a presage of an in
tensely cold winter.
6. A severe winter is also indicated by
the early departure in the autumn by
cranes and other migratory birds, be
cause these birds never leave for a south
ern climate until the cold season has
commenced in the higher northern re
gions. 7. When the month of September is
showery, it seldom rains during the com
ing month of May, and contrary, should
September pass without showers, the fol
lowing May will be rainy and wet.
8. When, in summer and autumn, the
predominating wind is from the south
west, or when the temperature is unusu
ally low for the season, aud the barom
eter be low, profuse rains may certainly
be expected at the end of the season.
9. Tempestuous storms and other vio
lent commotions of the clouds produce a
crisis in the atmosphere, which is fol
lowed by a succession of several months
of fine or boisterous weather, of what
ever the incoming change may be.
10. A mild and raiuy winter is always
followed by an unproductive summer.
11. When rainy weather prevails dur
ing a moon, the change succeeding will
be fair weather for several days, after
which rain will again set in; but when
fair weather prevailed during the moon,
and the succeeding change be rain, fair
weather will again return about the
fourth or fifth day of the moon, and con
tinue as before.
12. The most decided indication for
fair weather is the apparently great ele
vation of the celestial concave and an
evident disposition of the clouds to dis
solve and vanish away.
13. Rich hues of deep red and orange
reflected by evening clouds are sure sign?
ot a pleasant day following; but when
the same appearance of the sky occurs at
suuri.se, cloudy bad weather and rain
may be expected (a fact well confirmed
by many observers).
14. Where the sky is overcast and
small detached clouds of darker shade
move hurriedly in opposite directions,
heavy rains may be expected.
15. At the approach of rain, smoke
and vapors descend to the earth, because
the air is too light to support them, and
at such times birds also fly nearer to the
earth than at other times. "
16. When at the close of a summer day
dew forms copiously, the following day
will be pleasant. tnd anapolis Journal.'
-
Caricaturing Nations.
That the subjects should fail to see the
accuracy of sketches avowedly carica
tures is natural we should never recog
nize our own noses, if Cruikshank drew
them, though our friends would but
what puzzles us, and has puzIed us for
years, is why such sketches excite s.
much resentment, or, at all events, why
the resentment should be so great, and so
unequally distributed. If every nation
were wroth with its caricaturists, we
could understand it. We have alwavs i
supposed that nations with unfortunate
histories would resent satire mot; and
that is true of the Irish, who get savagely
angry with Punch, and were as wroth
with Thackeray as ever Lord Beacons
field was; and it is true of the Jews, who
grow vindictive under the bitter jesting
which once meant mockery, though it is
now much more like a re-ult of fear.
But the Spaniards, who 'consider them
selves the most ill-used of nations, are
not sensitive to carieature; while the
Americans, the most fortunate of earthly
peoples, hardly know how to put up with
it, and before their civil war were ready
to make of a joke a national offense. The
French, although defeated, would not
care if they were caricatured all the
world over unless the drawing was bad;
while the Germans are quite insulted if
anybody hints that with their masses
suavity of manner is not the distinguish
ing feature. What on earth can that
signify, if one has the qualities which
lead to the top of the world? The Ger
man dictates to Europe, he fills the
world with his philosophy, he is rapidly
acquiring everywhere wea'lth, distinction
and appreciation; but he is not content
because Democritus will tell him that
there are men more polished than his
nation, on the average, is. Why is he so
discontented? The Englishman is not
more successful than the Germau, he is
almost as Teutonic, and he is constantly-
auite as boorish, especially outside Loti
on, though his boorishhess is stolid,
while the German's is grumpy; but if he
is told of it ten times a day as he is by
French and American novelists, he does
not care one whit, any more than he
cares because all Parisian caricaturists
depict him with long teeth. He docs not
even inquire whether long teeth are ex
ceptionally common in England we
have a fancy they are but goes on
chuckling at the caricatures as quite
proper attempts at fun, but hopelessly
badly done. If those teeth were at
tributed to Germans, a dozen gavants
would collect all the dental statistics of
all the schools, and call upon "Cham" to
explain why he made such an ill-natured
charge. Yet the Germans are probably
Suite as humorous as the English, though
ley enjoy their hum6r more as our fore
fathers did in Shakespeare's time, than
as we do now. Why are they so sensi
tive because a traveling Englishman,
with a turn for farcical description, de
clares that they ask "What?" too often,
too abruptly, and with their lips too
rigidly shut. Suppose they retort that
Englishmen are always saying "Xeau,"
TAB ft " in mrr aKrtinf manner onrl writVi
that unspellable accent which, as re-1
Erds millions of us, is quite true what
iglishman will be hurt enough to re
member the charge five minutes? "Very
comical of the German to notice it," he
will say; "and I wish people would say
'Xol-'
A-friend near us says it is all conceit,
and that the German is annoyed because
he considers himself to have attained a
position which ought to exempt him
from such remarks; but we should at
tribute sensitiveness rather to want of
conceit. Your conceited man has usually,
in compensation for his foible, a healthy
thickness of skin. No one takes "chaff,
aud especially chafl of the malignant
kind, such as Irish newspapers very often
pour on him, with the composure of the
Englishman, because nobody else can bo
so certain that he is unassailable, and
that anybody who assails him on any
ground whatever unless, indeed, such
persou denies that the Englishman, who
is always wandering away from his kins
folk in search of work or wealth, is do
mestic is either out of temper, or is
making fun, the latter a process which,
on the whole, he is inclined to approve.
That conceit not only shields him, but
distinctly sweetens his temper, and so
far from thinking it a bad quality, we
shall be tempted if intercommunication
is to outrun intercommunity of under
standing, as it now does, to wish that the
quality were a little more widely diffused.
The nations are listening to eacii other,
and watching each other, and longing for
each other's good opinion, till every word
of description tells; but they stillfail to
understand one another to a degree which
sometimes makes satire seem purposely
ill-natured. The German, who is really
au fond, both kindly and sentimental,
asks crossly why he is to modern English
men always a martinet; while the
Frenchman, who is the best of sons, the
kinde-t of fathers and, outside Paris, a
very fair husband, cannot conceive why
he is depicted by Englishmen as a rather
vicious person, of undue levity. Per
haps, however, it is better as it is. If all
satirists exactly understood the weak
point, they might hit a little too hard,
for it is the exposure of faults we have
and conceal, not the exposure of faults
we have not, which cuts to the bone.
Tell a Frenchman that in business his
countrymen are the most greedily ra
pacious of mankind, and by no means
scrupulous, and he gets seriously angry.
London Spectator.
Regarding the Nose.
The annals of surgery contain many
cases where the nose has been cut or torn
ofl", and being replaced has grown fast
again, recovering its jeopardize functions.
One of the earliest, 1630, is lelated by
the surgeon (Fioraventi) who happened
to be near by when a man's nose, having
been cut off, had fallen in the sand. He
remarks that he took it up, washed it,
replaced it, aud that it grew together.
Still, this Ls a little bit hazardous and
in warm weather the nose might refuse
to catch on. It would be mortifying in
the extreme to have the nose drop off iu
a dish of ice cream at a large banquet.
Not only would it be disagreeable to the
owner of the nose but to those who sat
near him.
He adds the address of the owner of
the repaired nose, and requests any
doubter to go and examine for himself.
Regnault, in the Gazette Sahttaire, 1714
tells of a patient whose nose was bitten
off' by a smuggler. The owner of the
nose "wrapped it in a bit of cloth and
sought Kegnault, who, "although ttie
part was cold, reset it, and it became
attached."
This is another instance where, by be
ing sufficiently previous, the uose was
secured and handed down to future gener
ations. Yet, as we said before, it is a
little bit risky and a noe of that
character cannot be relied upon at all
times. After a nose has once seceded it
cannot be expected to still adhere to the
old constitution with such loyalty asprior
to that change.
Although "these cases call for more
credulity than most of us have to spare,
yet later cases, published iu trustworthy
journals, would seem to corroborate this.
In the Clinital Annals and Medical Ga
zette ot Heidelberg, 1330, there are sixteen
similar cases cited by the surgeon (Dr.
Hofacker) who was appointed by the
Senate to attend the duels of the stu
dents. It seems that during these duels it is
not uncommon for a stundent to slice ofl'
the nose of his adversary and lay it on the
table until the duel is over. After that
the surgeon puts it on with mucilage and
it never misses a meal, but keeps right on
growing.
The wax nose is attractive, but in a
warm room it N apt to get excited and
wander down into the moustache, or it
may stray away under the collar and
when the proprietor goes to wipe this
feature he does not wipe anything but
space. A gold no.-e that opens on one
side and is engraved, with hunter case
and key wind, is attractive, especially on
a bright day. The coin silver nose is very
well iu its way, but rather commonplace
unless designed to match the tea service
aud the knives and forks. In that ca.-e
good taste is repaid by admiration and
pleasure on the part of the guest.
The papier mache nose is durable and
less liable to become cold and disacree
able. It is also lighter and not liable to
season crack.
False noses are made of papier mache,
leather, gold, silver and wax. These last
are fitted to spectacles or springs, and are
very difficult to distinguish from a true
nose.
Tycho Brahe lost his noe in a duel and
wore a gold one, which he attached to
his face with cement which he always
carried about.
This was a good scheme, as it found
him always prepared for accidents. He
could, at any moment, repair to a dress
ing room or even slide into an alley
where he could avoid the prying gaze of
the vulgar world, and glue his nose on.
Of course he ran the risk of cettins it on t
crooked and a little out of line with his
other features, but this would naturally
only attract attention and fix the minds
of those with whom he might be called
upon to converse. A man with his nose
glued on wrong side up could hold the
attention of au audience for hours, when
any other man would seem tedious and
uninteresting. Nye's Boomerang.
A pleasant anecdote is told of Sir
John McDonald, the Canadian Premier.
He was on a visit to Quebec, and when
about leaving his hotel one day was sur
rounded by a lot of cabman, all crying,
"I'll take you, sir. I've a fine horse, Sir
John." Sir John asked whether Jim
McCullogh was there. "Jim" was not
there, but a little boy said "Jim" was on
the stand, and he would fetch him.
Many years ago, when Parliament met
in Quebec, "Jim" alwayadrove Sir John. ,
Jim now came, old and ragged, driving
the worst cab in Quebec. Sir John shook
hands with him, inquired how Biddy
and the children were, and then amid
cheers, in which even the -disappointed
cabmen joined, drove off to visit the
Governor-General and the Princes
Louise.
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
A man in Syracuse boasts that h
has had 302 colds in the head in one
year. He'd better rent his head for an
ice-box. Detroit Free Press.
Philadelphia young men have or
ganized the "Free" from Banged Hair
Club" as an offset against the young
ladies' Free from Cigarette Smokers'
Club."
A man in Tompkins County, X. Y.,
thought he had discovered the secret of
preserving eggs, but after 120,000 had
spoiled ou his" bauds he concluded that
he hadn't.
A San Francisco tailor in financial
distress loaded a pistol with powder and
watertthetwo being separated by a thick
wad) and blew off the top of his head,
the crown Hying fifty feet through the
air.
More than twenty people in and
around Gettysburg arestill selling relics
from the battle-field. The call on the
arsenal for old shot. mid shell to break up
has been steady for the last ten years.
N. O. Picayune.
The success of Mormon missionaries
in gaining proselytes at the South is so
great that the Atlanta Poit-Appeal says
that if they cannot be kept out of the
country by peaceable means, forcible
methods will become justifiable.
A San Francisco woman advertised
as follows: "For sale two beautiful,
small, snow-white, house-dogs, cheap."
She was threatened with hysterics when
she read this the next morning: "Too
beautiful, small, snow-white houses, dog
cheap." John Folmer, a twelve-year-old
sheep-herder in Yolo County, California,
had an unpleasant encounter with a bear
recently. Bruin ran the little fellow
down and tore most of the clothing from
his body. The boy seeing he could not
escape, fired five shots from a revolver
into the animal, which became fright
ened and ran away.
A veterinary surgeon of Bingham
ton, N. Y., has successfully removed one
half of the tongue of a valuable horse,
upon which was an epiphytical cancer,
without much blood or trouble to the
hor-e. A perfect cure will be effected.
The best veterinary surgeons of Cortland
and Syracuse pronounced the case incur
able and amputation impossible.
There are two men employe d as toll
takers at the Allegheny end of the Sixth
street bridge in Pittsburg who have made
and lost large fortunes in the oil business.
They looked at the recent speculations
in oil with an eager anxiety to take a
hand in the business, but they had not the
means to put up a margin, and are con
sequently, compelled to catch pennies at
the bridge. Pit'ubury Post.
A little son of Mrs. John Miller, of
Owego, N. Y.,aged nineteen months, came
to a terrible death a few days since. Mrs.
Miller placed a tub of hot wateron a chair
and had no more than turned around be
fore the child grabbed hold of the tub,
and pulling down upon it completely
submerged nimself with the boiling con
tents of the tub. The body of the child
was completely skinned.
Pome of the worst pistol practice on
record occurred at Indiana Valley, Cal.,
the other day. Simpson Haines and
James W.Garther quarreled over a finan
cial transaction, which resulted in Gar
ther firing several shots at Simpson, each
of which went wide of the mark. There
was then a short stay of hostilities, but
later on Garther's son-in-law, Dr. Heinp
sted, renewed them by emptying a re
volver at Haines, who again e-aped in
jury. J. L. Shirley, of Dallas County,
Texas, is probably the only man in the
United States who has used greenbacks
for gun-wadding. He went duck hunting
with $300 in currency in his pocket, and
not having any gun-wads he used paper
in loading. He became so engrossed with
the sport that he forgot all about his cur
rency, anil had shot away aliout $"0 of
his wail before he discovered his mistake.
He, however, killed thirty-seven ducks,
which cost him a trifleover $1.25 each.
The Thilwdaux (La.) Sentinel says:
Never during the thirty-ix years' resi
dence in the sugar-growing district have
we seen such monster sugar canes as are
daily exhibited this fall. Canes nine to
ten feet long, for the mill, weighing eight
to ten pounds, are no longer a novelty.
Just think of 2u0 sugar-canes that weigh
one ton. which will give from 100 to 125
pound of sugar, one-half pound of sugar
to the cane. Of course such canes are
not found in a body, but many planters
say that they are cutting canes that
average eight feet in length for the mill.
The little Italian town of Mecino
had for five years been devastated by a
gang of bandit-, when, one evening re
cently, a murder in the public square
arott-ed the community, and the Meci
noese concluded to avenge it. A brigade
was formed, which met at midnight near
the residence of a wealthy and highly
eattemed baron. An a-ssault was made
on tiiia residence, and twenty-one bandits
were captured with their chief, the Fra
Diavolo of the band, who proved to be
none other than the esteemed baron.
Several other per.-ons of distinction,
enjoying the confidence of the com
munity, were among the captured.
Specialties in medicine have their
-pecial temptations. A New York lady
was troubled with granulated evelids, a
very .-light matter, easily cured by any
physician with one or two applications of
a wash. But she consulted a distin
guished oculist, who excited her hopes
and fears and kept her dancing attend
ance at his office for an entire year. For
her many daily visits to lib office she
was charged $10 each, which made a very
hand-ome addition to the M. D.'s yearly
income. At last she met a friend who
had a similar experience, and, following
his advice, went to another physician, by
whom her trifling trouble was promptly
remedied. X. Y. Tinten.
A St. Louis car driver, becoming
tired of hard work for small pay, turned
him-elf into "Dr. Alton, the astrologer."
He fitted up a room with an altar, hung
a skull aud cross-bones over it, kept a
cloud of scented smoke rising from a
censer, and wore during business hours a
bng, black robe, inscribed like a tea
chest. He" advertised fortunes for $5,
and warranted them to prove good ones
in all the love and business affaire of life.
He prospered for a while; but a peculiar
case, that of a young woman of wealth
and social position, has proved too much
for his necromantic skill. He gave her
advice by which she lost a great deal of
money and respect, and they have locked
him up. St. Louis Globe.
A Cleveland woman dreamed that I
she fell into Lake Erie and was swal-1
lowed by a cat-fish, and when she awoke
Bhe had the baby s toot in her mouth
and had bitten it until the blood came.
The poet of the Cincinnati GauttM
breaks out with:
A well-fed hog roused up in the sty.
And dropped a regretted tear
iThe beautiful snow ha come." be said,
And slaying- will soon be here."
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Mr. Parnell writes that his doctors
forbid him traveling; and that he cau
not address constituents until after the
session.
Oscar Wilde's brother wants to
come to the United States, too. He has
written some poetry and thinks that he
can humbug the Americans.
It is now stated that the Princess
Louise will spend the winter in British
Columbia and that the Governor-General
will not return to the Capital till the
middle of January. Th Princess and
the Governor-General, it will be remem
bered, are married.
Minister Hamlin was impressed
with the informal politeness with which
he was received at the court of Madrid.
At his first presentation King Alphonso,
who speaks English, but not so fluently
as the Queen, said to him: "Now, Mr.
Hamlin, come into the nxt -room, and
let me introduce you to my wife," not
calling her the Queen,
The following story is told of a
Georgia legislator: "Senator Piko loft
the joint session the other day pending
the roll on the election of Judge Law
son, to see the circus procession that
was passing the Capitol. He was so
impressed with Bolivar.' tho big ele
phant, that when he rushed back intc
the hall he cried out: 'I change my
vote from Bolivar to Lawson!' "
The late Philip Turpi n Johnson, of
Chesterfield Count-. Virginia, left all
his property, including "the country
seat of the great Revolutionary orator
and Governor. Patrick Heury." to Dr.
J. W. Johnson, of Richmond, to whom
the deceased was not related. Mr.
Johnson was a bachelor brother of the
late Major-General Edward Johnson, of
the United States and Confederate
service.
Charles Gordon Greene, Jr., son of
Colonel Greene, formerly editor of the
Boston Post, whose death in Paris was
recently announced, had lived abroad
for nearly twenty-five years. He was
an energetic and successful man of
business, and strongly endowed with
the fani.ly taste and talent for litera
ture. To the leading magazines of Eu
rope he contributed man. papers, and
did. besides, some work as a corre
spondent. According to the London Standard
Oscar Wilde's critique of Mrs. Langtry's
first appearance is "a vapid pean of
beauty in the abstraet and the con
crete.'' The Loudon Globe retorts:
" 'Abstract' beauty, we tako it, is logic
ally that beauty " which exists apart
from material substance the samt
beauty, in fact, which Mr. Oscar Wildo
once detected in the calves of Mr. Hen
rv Irving's lezs as Hamlet. One of
his legs,' the a-sthetie saire is reported
to have said. is longer than the other,
but .t is not easy to say which is the
more perfect poem.'"
Since the death of Thurlow Weed,
Chaunccy Morse, of Canaudaigua, is
sa:d to be the enior printer in New
York State. Born in 1791. he became,
iu 1S11, an apprentice in theotliceof the
Ontario liijutsitur . nt 'anandaigua.
The late Lewis H. Red field had entered
the same office just zour jears before.
Afterward Messrs. Morse and Redfield
were partners in publishing the Ontario
Itfijis'er. Since ls.21 Mr. Morse has
been connected with various newspa
pers In :irious places, anil has only re
i ntly returned to spend the late after
noon of his life's long day in Canandai
gua. His faculties are scarcely a whit
impaired, andj his health is hale and
hearty.
HUMOROUS.
The feeling between ague and qui
nine is exceedingly bitter.
It is better to hit tho nail on the
head twic than it is to hit the nail on
the finger once.
Of l-JO.UOO known species of plants
a man eats only Mi K and some of these
give him the headache in the stomach.
An English paper wants to know
why Americans say " deepo" rather
than station. Huh! by do English
people say station in-t-ad of depot?
Answer that. Suiuervitle Journal.
"What do you think I had better
preach about' asked the new minister:
and the old deacon scratched his head
and replied. "Waal, if you preach
abaout twenty minutes I think you'll
tech our people jest right."
A man in New i ork has imented
what he calls a thinking machine." If
it does not go with a crank this ma
chine, like a new newspaper, will cer
tainly fill a want long felt There are
hundreds of wealthy, good-looking
young people in society who are en
tirely unable to think. X. O. Picayune.
A Newburyport parrot, which had
been in one family for over fifty year-,
died last week. It wa- a great relief to
the family when the bird died. If he had
ever got out of the hou-.e alive, there
would have been tho richest dish of
gossip that ever delighted the good peo
ple of Newburyport. Boston Tran
script. Kate Field says the journali-t "qui
etly accepts oblivion." We have known
him to most enthusiastically seek for it
when a citizen entered the sanctum
with a club and announced his inten
tion of pulverizing the entire staff. Just
at the time when the journalist would
accept it most gladly and quietly, obliv
ion is the hardest to find. Burlington
Hawkey e.
A certain school-boy. who knew
more about town ball, marbles, "antey
over." and the like than about his
books, was asked: " What is geogra
phy?" "Ab'gbook." "Of what is the
earth composed?" " Mud." " No. it is
composed of land and water." "Well,
that makes mud, doesn't it?" "Wh3
is the shape of the earth?" "Flat-"
" If 1 shoul-I dig a hole through the
earth, where would I come out?" "Out
of the hole."
Mrs. Fitz-Nickel aspires to be as
fashionable as any of her "swell'
neighbors. She was telling a lady vis
itor the other evening that she had just
engaged a very efficient, experienced
and bight-priced French cook. While
her friend was congratulating her upon
her new ac .uisition. the rench cook
inserte I her Iica in the doorway, and
asked her; "S-hure, missus, an' shall I
pale the praties, or bil 'em wi 1 their
jackets on?"
A customer, with wrath in his tones
and fire in his eye, entered a ready
made c othing establishment in this city
the other day. Throwing down the
bundle he ha 1 bought the day before,
he exclaimed: "Here, take back this
suit, and give me my money. You
swore it was all wool when it is half
cotton." "Well. I declare!" exclaimed
the dealer, throwing his hands into the
air. "WelL I declare. Now that is
surprising. I guess the wool that cloth
was made from came from a sheep
raised in the South that had been al
lowed to run through cotton-fields.
That's the only way we could possiblv
fet any cotton in the clothing we sell
ere." Philadelphia Chronic&Eeratd,