Nebraska Newspapers

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fcs op AiVEit risix..
THE JOURNAL.
iiitfK
y cheap, at
J. B. Df -j
'wanted f
ISTBuainess and professional cards"
of five lines or less, per annum, five
dollars.
iSTFor time advertisements, apply
at thi3 office.
USTLegal advertisements at statute
rates.
JSTFor transient advertising, see
rates on third page.
J2J All advertisements payable
monthly.
ISfcUED EVKUY WKISEsDAY,
M. K. TURIVKLi fc CO.,
Proprietors and Publishers.
13" OFFICE, Eleventh St.. up flairs
in Journal Building.
terms:
Peryear ? 22
Six months 52
Three months
Single copies
VOL. XIIL-N0. 2.
COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 1882.
WHOLE NO. 626.
J-
ill
to
I
I
E-
CONGRESSIONAL DELEGATION.
C. H. VaSmyck, U. S. Senator, Neb
raska City.
Alvin Saunders, U.S.Senator,Oniaha.
E. K. Valentine, Kep.. West Point.
T. J. Majors, Contingent Hep., Peru.
STATE DIRECTORY:
Albinus Nance, Governor, Lincoln.
S.J. Alexander, Secretary of State.
John Wallichs, Auditor, Lincoln.
G. M. Bartlett, Treasurer, Lincoln.
C.J. Dilworth, Attorney-General.
W. W. W.Jones, Supt. Public Inatruc.
C. J. Nobes, Warden of Penitentiary.
W0VAb,b.ey' ! Prison Inspectors.
C.H. Gould, J
J. O. Carter, Prison Physician.
H.P. Matlicwson, Supt. Insane Asylum.
JUDICIARY:
George B. Lake,) Assocjato Judges.
Amana Cobb. J
- S.Maxwell, Chief Justice,
fourth jumerAi. district.
G. W.JIott.Judse. York.
M. B. Reese, District Attorney, Wahoo.
LAND OFFICERS:
31. B. Hoxie, Keglxter, Grand Inland.
Win. Anyan, "Receiver, Grand Inland.
LEGISLATIVE: .
M State Senator, M. K. Turner.
" Representative, G. W. Lehman.
COUNTY DIRECTORY:
J. G. Higgius. County .fudge.
John Stauffer. County Clerk.
J. W. Early, Treasurer.
D. C. Kavauaugh, Sheriff.
L. J. Crmer, Survevor.
M. Maher, )
Joseph Rivet, County Commissioners.
II. J. Hudson,
Dr. A. Hcintz, Coroner.
J. E. Moncrief Supt. of Schools.
STSJImIh., JuHticesofthePeaee.
w . m.. Corneliuri,)
. CITY DIRECTORY:
J. R. Mcairher, Mavor.
A. B. Coffr'oth, Clerk.
J.B. Dclsman, Treasurer.
AY. N. Henoley, Police Judge.
J. E. North, Enirineer.
COUNCILMEN :
Ut Ward .John Rickly.
G. A. S:hroedcr.
2d Ward Pat. Hays.
I. Gluck.
2d Ward J. Rasmusspn.
A. A. Smith.
Colambns Pout Ollce.
Open on Sundays tram 11 a.m. to 12m.
and from -1:30 to 0 p. M. Business
hours except Sunday u a. m. to 8 p.m.
Eastern mails close at 11 a. m.
Western mails close at 4:l.r p.m.
Mall leaves Columbus for Lost Creek.
Genoa, St Edwards, Albion, Platte
Center, Humphrey, Madison and Nor
folk, every day (except Sundays) at
4:35 p. in. " Arrives at 10:5T.
For Shell Creek and Creston, on Mon
days and Fridays, 7 A. M., returning
at 7 P. M., same da vs.
For Alexis, Patron and David City,
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays,
1 p. m Arrives at 12 m.
For Conkling Tuesdays and Saturdays
7 a. m. Arrives G p. in. same days .
U. P. Time Table.
Eattcard Hound.
Emigrant, No.C, leaves at ... 6:25 a. m.
Passcng'r, " 4, " ".... 11:(W a. m.
Freight, "8, " ".... 2:15 p. m.
Freight, "10, " ".... 4:30 a.m.
Westward Bound.
Freight, No. S, leaves at 2:00 p.m.
Passeng'r, " 3, " " .... 4:27 p. m.
Freight, "9, " ".... 0:00 p. m.
Emigrant. 7. " " .... 1:30 a. m.
Every day except Saturday the three
lines leading to Chicago connect with
U P. trains at Omaha. On Saturdays
there will be but one train a day, as
obown by the followins schedule:
O.. N. A B. U. ROAD.
Time Schedule No. 4. To take effect
June 2, '81. For the government and
information of employees only. The
Company reserves the right to vary
therefrom at pleasure. Trains daily,
SnndvR uxcented.
Ouhnard Bound
Imoara nouna.
Norfolk... 7:26 a.m.
3Iunson 7:47 "
Madison .8:26 "
Hmnphrev9:0R
PI. Centre 9:48 '
LostCreekl0.09 "
Columbus 4:33 p.m
LotCreek5:21 "
PL Centre 5:42 "
Humphrey6:2. "
Madison .7:04 "
Munson...7:43 '
Norfolk... 8:04
rColumbuslO:55 "
ALBION I1KANCH
Columbus 4:45p.m. .Albion
.7:43 A.M.
LostCreek5:31
Genoa.... 6:1G "
St.Edward7:00 "
Albion.... 7:47 "
St. Edward8:30
Genoa . 9:14 "
LostCreek9:."9 "
ColurabuelQ:45 "
B. & M. TIME TABLE.
Leaves Columbus, 5:45 a.m.
" Bellwood 6:30 "
" David City, 7.20 "
" Garrison, 7:40 "
" Ulysses, 8:25 "
44 Staplchurst, 8:55 "
44 Bcward, 9:30 "
44 Ruby, 9:50 44
44 Milford 10:15
44 Pleasant Dale, 10:45 "
44 Emerald 11:10 44
Arrives at Lincoln, 11:50 m.
Leaves Lincoln at 12:50 p. M. and ar
rives in Columbus 7:00p. m.
Hakes close connection at Lincoln for
all points east, west and south.
H. LTJERS & CO.,
BLACKSMITHS
AND
"Wagon Builders,
Hew Brick Shop opposite HelnU'i Drug Sfn.
ALL KINDS OF WOOD AND IRON WORK ON
WAGONS AND BUGGIES DONE
ON SHORT NOTICE.
Eleventh Street, Columbus, Nebraska.
50
NEBRASKA HOUSE,
S. J. MARMOT, Prop'r.
Nebraska Ave., South of Depot,
COLU9IBUS, NEB.
A-new house, newly furnished. Good
accommodations. Board by day or
week at reasonable rates.
V"&ets Flnt-Claa Table.
Meals, 25 Cts. Lodgings.... 25 Cts.
38-2tf
ULW, REAL ESTATE
.
.V"
5
AND GENERAL
C0LIECTI0N OFFICE,
BY
W. S. GEEE.
MONEY TO LOAN in small lots on
farm property, time one to three
years. Farms with some improvements
bought and sold. Office for the present
at the Clother nouse, Columbus, Neb.
347-x
.-
BU8IHE88 CARDS.
TR. CARL SCHOTl'E,
VETERINARY SURGEON.
Office at Dowty. Weaver & Co's store.
A iIERSO!
roi:,
It ASKEUS, Collection, Insurance and
Loan Aleuts, Foreign Exchange and Pas
sage Tickets a specialty.
G
OKNKIltJS St MBuBL.ITAflr,
ATTORN EYS-AT-L A W,
Up-stairs in Gluck Building, 11th street,
Above the New bank.
TT J. HUlMiOai,
NOTARY PUBLIC.
12th Street, t doors weitt or Hammoail Iloane,
Columbus, Neb. 491-y
pvst. . . TI11JKST03I,
RESIDENT DENTIST.
Oftice over corner or lltli and North-st.
All operations iirt.t-clann and warranted.
C
UIICAttO BAKBKlt SHOP!
HENRY WOODS, PROP'u.
j3TEvery thing in llrst- class style.
Also keep the bct of cigars. 51J-y
TIT P, ni'KKS Al. I ,
HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN.
Will attend to all calls night and
dav.
Office with O. F. Merrill, east of A & N.
Depot. 5l3ino
M
cAIJJMlKK UKOS.,
A TTORNEYS AT LA W,
Office up-stairs in McAllister's build
ing. 11th St. W. A. McAllister, Notary
Public.
j. m. mackakland, b. r. cowdkky,
Atteraiy ai Hotirj PaWe. .Callirtor.
LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE
OF
MAC! ARliAND & COWDERY,
Columbus, : : : Nebraska.
f EO. L.McKELVEY,
PROPRIKTOK OF THK
""IfClTV UARBKR ll6P!V"
j3Twelfth St., five doors west of the
Hammond House. 52-tf
T7 1I.KIJ8CI1E,
llth St., nearly opp. Gluck's store,
Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips,
Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, etc.,
at the lowest possible prices, ltepairs
promptly attended to.
BYRON MILLETT,
Justice of the Peace and
Notary Public.
MYKON JUI,L.KTT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Columbus
Nebraska. N. B. He will give
clon attention to all business entrusted
to him. 248.
T OU1S SCHKEIBER,
3LACKSMITH AND WAGON MAKER.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Buggies, Wagons, etc., made to
order, and all work guaranteed.
lESTShop opposite the " Tattersall,"
Olive Street. ..25
TTTAttXPIt Sc WESTCOTf,
AT TUB
CHECKERED BARN,
Arc prepared to furnish the public wrth
good teams, buggies and carriages for all
occasions, especially for funerals. Also
conduct a feed and sale stable. 49
TAMES PEARSALL
18 PREPARED, WITH
FIRST-CLASS APPARATUS,
To remove houses at reasonable
rates. Give nim a call.
-jyoTici: TO TKACHPKS.
J. E. Moncrief, Co. Supt.,
Will be in his office at the Court nouse
on the first Saturday of each
month for the purpose of examining
applicants for teacher's certificates, and
for the transaction of any other business
pertaining to schools. JH57-y
TAMES SALMON
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER.
Plans and estimates supplied for either
frame or brick buildings. Good work
guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near
St. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne
braska. 52 Gmo.
WILLIAM RYAN,
DEALKR IN
KENTUCKY WHISKIES
Wines, Ales, Cigars and Tobacco.
SdTSchilz's Milwaukee Beer constant,
ly on haud.pRl
Eleventh St Columbus, Neb.
Dr$. MITCHELL & MARTYN,
COLUMBUS
in i iJitm inmE,
Surgeons O., N. & B. II. B. B.,
Asst. Surgeons U. P. By,
COLUMBUS,
NEBRASKA.
JS. MURDOCK & SON,
Carpenters and Contractors.
nave had an extended experience, and
will guarantee satisfaction in work.
All kinds of repairing done on short
notice. Our motto is, Good work and
fair prices. Call and give us an oppor
tunity tocstimateforyou. 3TShop o
13th St., one door west of Friedhof &
Co's. store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-y
colu ranus
Restaurant and Saloon!
E. D. SHEEHAN, Proprietor.
ISTWholesale nd Retail Dealer in For
eign "Wines, Liquors and Cigars, Dub
lin Stout, Scotch and English Ales.
tSTKcntucky Whiskies a Specialty.
OYSTERS in their season, by the case
can or dish.
lltli Strt. SoHtk of Depnf.
$66
a week in your own town. $5
Outfit free. No risk. Every
thing new. Capital not re
quired. We will furnish tou
everything. Many are making fortunes
Ladies make as much as men, and boys
and girls make great paT. Reader, iT
you want a business at which you can
make great pay all the time you work,
write for particulars to H. Hallktt &
Co., Portland, Maine. 4jan-y
ADVERTISEMEHTS.
MILLINERY! MILLfflERT!
Mrs. M. S. Drake
HAS JUST RECEIVED A LARGE
STOCK OP
SPRING AI SUMMER
MILLIIEBY AID FAICY GOBDS.
tS A FULL ASSORTMENT OF EV
ERYTHING BELONGING TO A
FIRST-CLASS MILLIN
ERY STORE.jg
Xebraska Avenue, ttco doors north of the
State Bank.
27-tf
BEGKEU & WELCH,
PROPRIETORS OF
SHELL CREEK MILLS:
MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN
FLOUR AND MEAL.
OFFICE. COL UMB US. NEB.
Dr. A. HEINTZ,
DEALER IN
DRUGS. MEDICI1ES. CHEMICALS.
WOES, E.IQUORS,
Fine Soaps, Brushes,
PERFUMERY, Etc., Etc.,
And all articles usually kept on hand by
Druggists.
Physicians Prescriptions Carefully
Compounded.
Eleventh street, near Foundry.
COLUMBUS, : NEBRASKA.
SPEICE & NORTH,
General Agents for the Sale of
REAL ESTATE.
Union Pacillc, and Midland Pacific
R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to $10.00
per acre for cash, or on five or ten years
time, in annual payments to suit pur
chasers. We have also a large and
choice lot of other lands, improved and
unimproved, for sale at low price and
on reasonable terms. Also business and
residence lots in the city. "We keep a
complete abstract of title to all real es
tate in Platte Couuty.
621
COIjIIxIRUK, neb.
PIUMTC Bi!!
BUY TIIE-
Patent Roller Process
MINNESOTA
FLOUR!
ALWAYS GIVES SATISFACTION,
Because it makes a superior article of
bread, and is the cheapest flour
in the market.
Every sack ivarranted to run alike, or
money refunded.
HERMAN OEHLRICH & BRO.,
GEOCERS.
l-3m
WM. BECKER,
DEALER IK ALL KINDS OF
FAMILY GEOCEEIES!
I KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A
WELL SELECTED STOCK.
Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups,
Dried and Canned Fruits,
and other Staples a
Specialty.
Gd DellTereil Free to
part er the City.
T
1 AM ALSO AGENT FOR THE CEL
EBRATED COQUILLARD
Farm and Spring Wagons,
of which I keep a constant supply on
hand, but few their equal. 1c style and
quality, second to none.
CALL AND LEARN PRICES.
Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near
A. AN. Depot.
OVER THE WAV.
No fresh young beauty, laughing eyed,
Whc reckons lovers by the bcore,
But just a swoet old maid who died
WUilo I was yet in pinafore.
She lived upou the shaiy side
Of that old-fahioned country street,
A threading chesnut greenly tried
To screen the door of her retriat.
A tiny garden, trim and square,
A snowy flight of step aUve,
And sweet suggestions in tho air
Of all the tlowi-rs tho poets love.
Within the trcliised porch there hung
A pjrrct in a burnished casre
A foolish bird, whose mocking tongu
Burlesqued the piping tones of ago.
A branching apple-treo o'crsproad
A rickety old g.ir len seat;
No apples sure were e'er so red!
Or since have tasted half as sweet.
In Memory's enchanted land,
I sue the genllesplnster yet.
With watering-pot in uiittenea hand,
Gaza proudly at her mignonette;
And when tho spring had grown to June
She'd sit beneath the apple tree.
And dream away the afternoon.
With some quaint voluiuu on her kneo
A gray-robed vision of repose,
A pleaant thought in Quaker guise t
For truly she was ono of tho-o
Who carry Heaven in their -yes.
CtiamUr' Journal.
UNDER THE ICE.
All through the long, pleasant sura
sier on the Williams Farm, the two girls
bad been rivals almost to tiic death.
Society has its restraints well for many
of us that it is so! For, on the last even
ing of her stay at the farm-house, the
heart of Kate "Jervis was full of a cold
and deadly anger, as she reviewed the
vents of the campaign, and knew that
it had failed.
She had come to that lonely and se
luded place only because Charles Ed
wants, the handsome and wealthy wid
ower from Australia, was to be there.
Throughout the cool days of autumn, and
the hazy beauty of the Indian summer,
he had lingered on, hoping continually
that she might win him away from Lily
Melville, whom, in her secret heart, "he
r stigmatized as " a dark little thing, with
not an atom or style about her.
But to the end of time the question:
"Why does a man love one woman and
not another?" will never be satisfac
torily answered.
Miss Jervis, large, tall, stately and
fair, devoted to dress, and with social
talents of the very highest order, had
only received from the gallant widower
the ordinary attentions which everv gen
tleman is bound to pay to the ladies
near him.
While Lily Melville, who wag poor
and unnoticed, who toiled daily with
her pencil for her daily bread, and who
was utterly unable to follow the shifting
fashions of the day, even if she had
wished to do so Lily Melville had won
the widower's heart, and need only say
the word to receive the offer of his
hand.
Kate Jerrig lid not deceive herself.
She had watcWd their parting only two
days previously, and had read her own
doom in Charles Edwards1 face.
May I write to you?" had been his
last words to Lily.
For Kate, he had only the conventional-regret
at parting, mingled with
his adieu. Not one word of hope as to
any future meeting:
Yes, she had failed utterly and igno
mlniously failed and now she must
pack up the useless finery, which had
cost so much, and go back to the city
boarding-house to the narrow, pinch
ing consideration of ways and means,
from which, by the capture of this man
and his fortune, she had hoped to have
been forever freed.
If I could only spoil her happiness,
I would not so much mind giving up my
own," she thought, as sho walked along
the road that led from the farm to the
villago, on the third evening after Mr.
Edwards departure. "But now? And
how disgustingly self-satisfied bIio looks!
I hate her! 1 hated her from the first
day of her coming, though I did not
then know why."
At that moment she Baw the boy who
was employed at the farm to run on
errands to tho village. He was running
up the road at a great pace, with a
countenance black with discontent.
"Have you seen Farmer Williams,
miss?" he asked, anxiously.
"He came home from the village half
an hour ago," said Kate.
'Just my luck!" whined the boy. "I
wanted to give him these, and now I
must go all the way with them. And
the minstrels are up in Telson's Hall.
They'll bo half through before I can set
He held out two letters as he spoke,
with an appealing look at Kate, one for
herself, the other sealed with a seal, and
direoted to Lily Melville in a hand that
she knew only too well.
"I'm going back. I'll take them for
you," she said, mechanically.
The boy gave her the letters, thanked
her, and tore back to the village, whist
ling. "Shall IP Shall I not?" thought
Kate, standing still in that lonely place.
She opened her own letter. It con
tained only the dress-maker's bill, for
those pretty summer toilets which had
been of so little use to her. How was
f he to pay that bill, now that the rich
husband on whom she had so securely
counted had turned out to be a myth?
"It is too hard!" she exclaimed,
aloud, in sudden passion. "Why should
this good fortune come to her and not to
me? She shall never have the satisfac
tion of triumphing over me. I wonder
what ho has written?"
Crack went the seal as she trifled with
it But, in her frenzy of jealous anger
and hatred, only an "iron-clad" envel
ope could possibly have withstood her
hand. The next moment the letter.was
opened out before her. With a sicken
ing heart she read the manly, straight
forward proposal of marriage. But her
fair, proud face brightened at the con-
earning worast
M I bad no courage to say this while ws were
tOMttter. Nor hare 1 courage to niet your
refusal, even though it sbould be a written
ono. So I will beg of you. If your heart is oth
erwise engaged, not to pain me by the knowl
edge. If you do not answer this letter, I shall
understand that It Is for that reason. If you
do answer it, you will make me the napptost
of men. Tours faithfully,
CHABLX8 Edwards."
"There Is the answer!" said Kate,
spitefully, tearing the letter across and
across, and thrusting it deep into the
hedge in its envelope.
Then she walked back to the farm.
That night the first snow of the autumn
fell, and the farmhouse was deserted
the next day by the last of its summer
fuests, good Mrs. Williams writing
own the ohy address of Lily Melville,
and faithfully promising "to forward
any letters that might arrive," while
Kate Jervis looked quietly on.
Two months went by. Lily, tolling
away at her paintings, found time to
wonder, sadly, why the hoped-for letter
from Charles" Edwards never came. Not
for his fortune did she love him, but for
himself.
It was a mild, open winter, and when
the holidays drew near, she took the
fttw dollars she had so painfully saved,
andTwent back to the old brown farm
house, where she had first met him.
Smce she was to see his face no more,
it would be some consolation, although
a sad one, to visit the places where she
had been so happy by his sido.
The secluded road that .led to the
village had been oue of their favorite
walks. iThere Lily lingered through a
whole sunny afternoon the last of her
stay that year, as her purse was nearly
empty.
Some bitter tears were in her ejes a
she (urned to go. A carriage was com
ing (from the station, and, not caring to
be sjeen there, weeping, she drew back,
witp her face toward the barreu hedge.
Al her feet something white gleamed.
She picked it up mechanically, aud, to
her astonishment, saw a torn and
stained letter, with her own name upon
the"nvelope.
'Under the ice and snow of the p:ist
autumn it had lain, waiting for her com
ing. JShe could still decipher it, and :is
she read, a mountain of snow and ice
seemed to be lifted from her heart.
"Thank God! He did lovo mo!" she
exclaimed.
"Lily Miss Melville!" said a famil
iar volco.
She turned. The carriage which she
had seen stood waiting in the road; and
at her side was Charles Edwards, look
ing from her happy face to the torn let
ter in her hand with a questioning gaze.
"I was coming back for a few days
to the dear old place," he said. " You
made me very unhappy last autumn.
Yet I am like' the moth with the caudlu
not wise enough to keep away, even
after getting severely burned."
" I only found it this moment, undor
the hedge!" stammered Lily, giving
him the fragments that she held. " It
must have been lost, and hidden under
the ice all this time."
"You would have answered mo, then,
Lily?" he asked.
Her shy, happy eyes looked gently up
at him.
"Drive on to the farm, my man. We
will walk," he called, to "the staring
man.
And drawing Lily's little hand withir
his arm, they began their life-jounjej
happily together. Margaret Blount.
Starting a Dramatic Boom.
" I believe I have the pleasure of ad
dressing the dramatic critic?" said a tall,
angular-looking party protruding his
neck through the door of the dramatic
and musical sanctum.
" You have," said the D. and M,,
looking up from his work and adjusting
his spectacles more firmly upon the
slender bridge of his classic olfactory
organ.
"Ah, yes," said tho angular party,
entering the sanctum and throwing him
self into a chair. "You see I como on
business. I'm the manager of the great
Beat-As-You-Go Combination, and I
should like to have you do the best yoc
can forus."
" To be sure," said the D. and M.
"Crowded houses. Packed-to the doors.
Standing-room only after a quarter pas!
seven, something like this, for in
stance:, "Nothing could better testify U
the sterling character of the perform
ances given by the Beat-As-You-Gc
lyomuinauon roan tue enormous auu ui
tra fashionable audiences which greet
them nightly '
" Oh, that will do very well after we
have opened up, you know," said the
angular party. "But, what I'm aftei
now is a preliminary send-off."
"Oh, I understand. Something strong
before you arrive to prepare the public
for the treat of seeinsr you perform. A
line or two of this sort, for exam;':
'The simple announcement of the
coming of the Beat-As-You-Go Combi
nation would suffice to insure it packed
houses, so wide-spread and Illustrious a
reputation has it gained throughout the
country. "
"That will do very well, so iar as it
goes," said tho angular party. "But the
grand racket is an interview with our
leading lady."
Well, whore Is your interview?"
asked the D. and M.
" Here you arc," said the angular
party, slapping a roll of manuscript
upon the desk before him. "You can
just change the name of the hotel and
sling in something local "
" Something about her always being
glad to get back to Brooklyn, where sk
is so sure to be generously received P
asked the D. and M.
" Well, hardly that," said the angu
lar party. "You see this is her first
visit."
" Well, then," said the D. and M.
suppose she says she is delighted to
nrrivo at last in a city of whose gene
rositv to dramatio art she has hoard s
much."
"That isn't bad," said the angular
party. "By the way, how would it dc
to send her acros3 the East River
bridge?"
"Oh, that's too common,'' said the
D. and M. " Wo might slip in some
thing about a sleigh-ride in the park, up
set narrow escapo fright, but no in
juries sustained."
"Capital," said the angular party.
"Tou will find wardrobe, color of hair
and eyes, age and incidents of career ir
the manuscript I feel our Brooklyn
boom has started already," and he van
ished, humming an air from " Pa.
tienco."
" Well, I should suffuse my matures
to ejaculate," mused- the D. and M., re
moving his spectacles and winking con
fidential! at his bronze inkstand, as he
tossed the angular party's manuscript
into the waste-basket Brooklyn Eagle
Why He Left.
A Woodward avenue business matt
who had advertised for a coachman had
an application yesterday from a man
who seemed to till the bill exactly, but
the fact that he waseutof a place caused
tne citizen to ass:
"Were you discharged from your last
place?"
" Ob, no, sir I quit of my own ac
cord." " Anything wrong?"
" There was, sir. The place was very
pleasant, the pay good, and I came
away without a hard word. But the
gentleman was a bit reckless, sir."
"How. reckless.
"Why, he wouldn't be vaccinated,
and he insisted dn coming to. the bars
every day and exposing me to dangor.
I spoke to him several times about it,
but he seemed so obstinate and reckless
that I deemed it my duty to quit the
job. Ah! sir, but bo one knows how in
corrigible some of these high-toned peo
ple arol They'd even lug a baby which
had the whooping-cough right int
the coachman's bed-room, and then
expect him to buy his own medicines
and do his whooping at night after ev
erybody was asleep!" Detroit Fret
Press.
For nose-bleedinsr. bathe the face
and neck with cold water.
Arctic Ballooning.
Capt George E. Tyson, who has had
thirty years' experience of Arctic life,
recently add raised a letter to the editor
of the New York Herald, in which he
said that, having seen the working of
ice both in summer and winter, he was
of the opinion that it is utterly impossi
ble for any vessel to reach tho North
Pole and live to return, and that sledge
journeys from all latitudes yet obtained
by ships are impracticable. ' Despite our
modern inventions in steam and the un
questioned skill of our present naviga
tors, we Dave, he says, so far done very
little more poleward than the navigators
of nearly 300 years ago accomplished in
their little shallops. The obstacles in
the way to success are natural ones. No
matter in what meridian navigators sail,
in about latitude 80' degrees is met that
barrier of ice which no navigator has
been able'to penetrate very-far.
Seeing no reason to hope for success
by the use of ships, the Captain favors
an international balloon expedition to
the North Pole. He appreciates, he
says, the dangers to be encountered by
serial navigation on such a voyage. He
would have each balloon carry a skin
boat twenty-five feet in length and four
and a half.'feet beam amidships, iu:ide
after the model of a whale-boat. He
would have the boat so made that it
would be waterproof, light, tough, and
elastic.
He believes the weight of such a boat,
capable of carrying six or eight persons,
with sufficient provisions to last six or
eight' months, would weigh not more
than o00 pounds, and, in case the nan
gators met with a large body of water,
it would be able, under the direction of
experienced sailors, to withstand even a
heavy sea. He would also have each
balloon carry a light and strong sleigh,
weighing not more than thirty pounds,
which could be used to carry the boat
over rough and rugged ice, should that
be necessary, whicn is probable.
The Captain says a balloon sixtv feet
in diameter would raise about 7,000
pounds weight. He calculates the ag
gregate weight of all that would be
needed for a polar voyage at about 0,000
pounds, as follows: The boat, 800
pounds; the sleigh, 30 pounds; the pro
visions necessary for sustaining eight
men for eight mouths at two pounds a
day for each mun of condensed food,
4,000 pounds; guns, ammunition, and
necessary instruments, 30O pounds; and
the weight of the men, 1,200 pounds.
Capt. Tyson would start four differ
ent balloons at or near the same time,
and from as many different points of
departure. In his opinion, for the de
parture of these balloons, England
should establish a station at the north
end of Spitzbergen Island, near the 81st
parallel and 20th degree east longitude ;
Germauy at Franz Jo.sef Island; Amer
ica Cape Union, in about 82 degrees 20
minutes and CO degrees 10 minutes west
logitude; and Russia at Diakhov Is
lands or New Siberia, near where the
Jeannette was lost. The necessary
E reparations having been made, tho
alloons should start as near as possible
to the 1st day of May, which would give
them four months of continuous light
and pleasant weather. By starting at
the beginning of May, should the winds
prove favorable for but a single day,
they would probably be within the vi
cinity of the pole, the distance to which
from Cape Union being only about 480
miles, from Spitzbergen u"00 miles, from
Franz Josef Land about 480 miles, and
from New Siberia about 840 miles.
The pole having been reached, the
return, the Captain thinks, would be an
easy matter. The men would be fresh
and unwearied and have the entire sum
mer to work in. Their provisions would
be ample and everything would be in as
good condition as when they started,
and the Arctic current, against which
navigators who go by vessel have al
ways had to contend, would be continu
ally carrying them southward without
any effort of their own. Even should
they happen to be caught in the polar
basin during the winter they could
quietly settle themselves down on some
strong floe of ice, build their snow-huts
and secure all the game possible before
the Arctic night overtakes them. During
the winter the polar currents would
carry them southward, and they could
without difficulty escape in the spring.
Nervous Americans.
Why are Americans more nervous-,
than people of other nationalities? It
is stated as a fact that Englishmen and
Germans become so in a few years after
residing among us. Their children have
not the phlegmatic temperament of their
Carents. There is a marked difference
etween the Americans who descended
from the English and Englishmen at
home. We have taken on a national
type which differs as distinctly from
tnat of the English as it docs from the
French. In the crowd that surges along
the street of any city it is not difficult to
distinguish the American countenance,
and it is never mistaken for that of any
other nationality. Instead of decreas
ing, it is said that the nervous tempera
ment predominating in America is in
creasing, and that we are being sepa
rated further and further from the En
glish, making a national temperament
and type unlike any other that ha3 ever
existed. Physiologists who make a
study of race and nation-building re
gard the inflow of Teutonic immigra
tion as a corrective to some extent of
this, and a most fortunate thing for our
future national character. Bnt the ten
dency of life here joins to that of cli
mate to make new as well as old resi
dents nervous. The immigrant who
only hoped to live in reasonable comfort
sees fortune within his grasp, and enters
the race with an eagerness his ancestors
never knew. He sees wealth accumu
late and disappear in a day, and the
mutations of fortune, the prizes and
disappointments, contribute to divest
him of his inherited calmness. But
there is a subtle influence of climate not
well understood that assists in convert
ing phlegmatic men into nervous ones.
It is well known that the same amount
of any kind of intoxicating liquor has
a very different effect upon the same
person here and in Europe. So that it
would be impossible to grow the typi
cal Englishman in this climate if all
other influences were the same as in
England. He inhales here, with the air
of liberty, some other agent that con
verts him into an Amencan ere he is
aware of it. It is said that the Aus
tralian already begins to develop a com
mon type of face and temperament as
unlike the English as is the American.
Iwiianapolis Journal.
There is a new project at Minneap
olis to utilize the sawdust thrown from
the saw-mills, by mixing it with peat,
grinding both, and then molding the
product into bricks or blocks of a con
venient size to use for fuel.
The three foremost architects of
England, Sir Gilbert Scott, Mr. Bnrges
and Mr. G. E. Street, elied during l
year 1881
What a Cabbage Did.
Nothing is so readily collected, nol
even a wedding fee. as a crowd. The
smallest point is sufficient for idlers to
crystallize around. Au amusing illus
tration of this fact is reported by the San
Francisco Evening Post:
Tho other morning, two geutlemeu
were looking out of the window of a
house on Market street, when they saw a
cabbage roll off a market wagon that
was passing.
Instantly more than a dozen -well-dressed
and apparently sane persons be
gan yelling after the wagon as though
the vegetaole had been a gold watch, or
a thousand-dollar bill.
The driver stopped about half a square
oft", looked back" at the cabbage, yawned
and drove on.
What an absurd fuss people in the
street make over trivial occurrences,"
said one of the gentlemen. " Now, I'll
bet a silk hat that I could get a crowd
of persons around that cabbage inside
of thirty minutes, and yet not -leave this
room."
"I'll take the bet" said ids friend,
pulling out his watch. "Are you
rwtdj "
"i s; give the word."
" U .s now eleven-thirty. Go!"
Thi' proposer of the wager led his
friend io the window, threw up the sash,
and taking a cane pointed earnestly at
the mud-covered cabbage with a terri
fied expression.
Presently a hack-driver noticed the
action and began to stare at the vegeta
ble from the curbstone; then a boot
black stopped; then a bill-poster, a mes-benger-boy
and a merchant.
What?s tho matter?" inquired a
German, approaching the innocent base
of his national dish.
"Don touch it! Look out there!
Stand back?" shouted the gentleman at
the window'.
At his horror-stricken toues the crowd
fell back precipitately and formed a
dense circle around the innocent cab
bage. Hundreds came running up, and
the excitement increased rapidly.
"Look out there!" frantically screamed
the better, waving his cane. "Take that
dog away, quick!"
Several stones were thrown at a cur
that w:is sniffing at the cabbage.
"Take care!" said a ear-driver to a
policeman, who was shouldering his way
through the mass. "It's an infernal
machine, nitro glycerine or some
thing." Meanwhile the sidewalk was" blocked,
the street became impassable. Tho two
gentlemen moved away from the window
and sat down. In a few moments there
was a hurried tap at the door, and there
uppeared a man who had been sent hh a
delegate from the mass-meeting outside.
"I should like to know, gentlemen,"
he said, " what the facts are?"
"What facts?"
"Why, what there is peculiar aboui
that cabbage out there."
"Nothing in the world," was the soft
reply, " except that it seems to be sur
rounded by persons who ought to be in
better business."
The Ttro-IIendcd Uirl's Hotel BilL
Millie Christine, the two-headed girl,
who sonio years ago attracted consider
able attention from Dr. Pancoast and
other prominent members of the medi
cal fraternity, is at present a guest of
the Great Western Hotel, on Market
street, abovaThirleeiith. On Saturday,
when her agent presented himself at the
cashier's desk to settle the week's ac
count, he was bin prised to find that the
buL read:. " Ihu iVli.-vses t hristiuu,
and that board was charged for two per
sons. "How do you make this out?" asked
the agent, as he looked at the bill and
then at the cashier.
' The lady has two heads, has she
notP" said the cashier.
The agent admitted that such was the
case.
" And she has two mouths?" contin
ued the hotel mun.
Again another affirmative uod.
" And she cats with both of them?"
persisted Mr. Cashier.
" Yes," broke in the agent, "but she
only takes half a meal to each mouth."
'That's all very fine," responded
tho cashier, "but you can't come that
racket on us. She's got two heads and
two mouths, and she gets two meals
served in her room. Now if that doe.-n"t
constitute her two persons then I'd bet
ter go out of the business."
The head waiter was called and cor
roborated the statement concerning the
double feed. Then the agent hied him
to an upper apartment and demanded
an explanation from the double-headed
lass, which dcveloed the fact that
while the two meals were actually
served, one of them w:is devoured by a
voracious curiosity that occupied an ad
joining room. Somewhat of a similar
ail'air occurred on the Pennsylvania
Railroad a few weeks ugo, when a con
ductor, who had not a spark of humor
in his system, gravely demanded two
fares for the monstrosity. It was only
with considerable difficulty that her
agent managed to convince him that
although there were two heads, four
arms, four legs and two minds, it was
only one woman. After Some demur
the conductor agreed to accept the sin
glo ticket,. but up to the time that the
train reached the depot he had failed to
solve the arithmetical conundrum as to
how one and one could be simply one.
Philadelphia Bccord.
A Desppratc Duel.
Two worthies recently entered a rail
way car in which a .Neic.t man was seat
ed. They were picturesquelv attired in
sombreros, rubber booty, and pearl-colored
suits of niilitaryr&ftt They glow
ered around the car a-jnoraeut and then
seated themselves and commenced a
whispered conversation. Thoughts o!
train-robbers Hashed through the minds
of the tender-feel in the train, and a
conservative-looking old gentleman was
noticed to surreptitiously slip his gold
watch and pocket-book under the cush
ion. Suddenly one of the "Wild Bills"
stood up and there was a general move
ment among the tender-feet to throw up
their hands, and to allow the supposed
desperadoes to get through with their
work of acquiring their booty as expedi
tiously as possible. But a general feel
ing of relief was experienced when it
was found that the bloodthirsty looking
fellow merely wautcd to borrow a chew
of "navy" from an acquaintance at the
opposite end of the car.
He had scarcely left his seat, howev
er, when his companion turned to his
nearest fellow-passenger, and remarked:
" That's the hardest man in Colo
rado." " Has he killed anybody?"
"Killed any body? You betcherlife.
Mor'n you've got fingers and toes on
you. Why that's Dead Shot Bill. Nev
er has to waste a second cartridge. Al
ways takes 'em an inch above the right
aye."
Is he a robber?" hesitatingly in
QBired the passenger whom Dead Shot
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.
It is asserted by M. Gaiffe that co
balt is much more strongly magnetio,
than nickel.
Spencer, of the repeating rifle, has
invented a new gun that will fire ten J
times in five seconds.
Chalfoat & Co.'s steel works atT .
Etna, near Pittsburgh, employ 1,500
men, and all the fires are fed by natural
fas Drought-through pipes from wells ' ,
nve miles awaay.
A Vermont man has gotten up a
mbmarino boat run by electricity,whicb
will run twenty-five knots per hour .
through the water in any direction up
or down, or at an angle" ,l '
The glove production of Fulton
County, N. Y., the last year exceeded -anything
in the history of the trade. (
Gloves and mittens to the value of $8,-'
000,000 were made. ,. .'.
A California man ha? made aa in-j .
ventiou that attaches a stout spring-tOw .
tthe- cud of- a cross-cut saw. On ono ,
sido of a tree triihk""triplesanr driven,
and into these is inserted one end of the
spring, the other end being connected
with "the saw. Tho arrangement is
such that one man is enabled to use a
stout and heavy saw that otherwise
would require a man at each end.
A stone bridge to be built in Minne
apolis, Minn., bids fair to become ono
of the notable structures of the world.
It will consist of sixteen eighty-feet
spans and four 100-feet spans, and, in
cluding the shore-pieces, will havo a to
tal length of 1,900 feet. It will support
two railway tracks at a height of over
sixty' feet above the water, and will run
diagonally across the river below St.
Anthony's Falls. The cost is estimated
at nearly 500,000.
A new skating surface, called
"crystal ice," has been invented by Dr.
Calantarients, of Scarborough, Eng.
Considering that after all ice is merely a
crystalline substance, and that there Li
no lack of substances that are crystal
line at ordinary temperatures, Dr.
Calantarients experimented with a va
riety of salts, and after a time succeeded
in making a mixture consisting mainly
of carbonate and sulphate of soda,
which, when laid as a floor by his plan,
can be skated on with ordinary ice
skates; the resistance of the surface is
just equal to that of ico, it looks like ice,
and indeed when it has been skated on
and got "cut up" a little, the deception
i3 quite astonishing.
PITH AND POINT.
Thirty Bostonians have written
essays which are sealed up in a box for
a hundred years. This would be a good
scheme for newspaper poets.
It is almost impossible to look over
the hats worn by ladies at the theater,
aud this fact is but another argument
for the elevation of the stage.
What a pity flowers can utter no
sound ! A singing rose, a whispering
violet, a murmuring honeysuckle oh,
what a rare and exquisite miracle would
these be ! Ikccher.
Tewfik, the young ruler of Egypt, is
particularly fond of poets, and keeps
his court full of them. (We shall send
a marked copy of this issue to the Sweet
Singer of Michigan. She may be able
lewhks it so that she can leave by the
next boat.) V. O. Picayune.
"What a nuisance!" exclaimed' a
gentleman at a concert, as a young fop
in front of him kept talking in a loud
voice to.a young lady at his side. " Did
you refer to nie.sir?" demanded the fop.
'Oh, no! I mean the musicians, who
keep up such a noise with their instru
ments that I cant't hear your con ve ra
tion," was the stinging reply.
There is a man who can not get
prompt service to his bell at his hotel.
The other night he gave the bell a vio
lent ring at midnight. Shortly after tho
servant answered it. "I don't want
anything now," said the fellow. "I
ring now in order to get it on filo.
Bring me hot water at eight in the
morning." Lotiiscillc Courier-Journal.
We havo never before known that
parrots could be utilized for building
purposes. While a large store was in
process of construction Polly, who was
stationed near by, kept crying out,
More brick," only alternating the aw
ful command with the words, " More
mortar." An Irishman who was earn
ing his living by the sweat of his brow
hurried in his toil and tilled the plat
form on the fourth story with hod after
hod, first of the one and then of the oth
er. Still the cry was heard, and heard
again, until the Irishman's spirit of re
bellion was stirred within him, and at
the risk of losing his place he put both
hands to his mouth and yelled at the
top cf his voice, "Is it mor-r-tar mad
that ye are? Sure a man ought to have
the ligs of a centipig (centipede) to wait
onthe likes of yez."
Some New Geography.
Of what is the surface of the earth
composed?"
Of corner lots, mighty poor roads,
railroad tracks, base-ball grounds,
cricket fields and skating rinks."
What portion of the globe is water?"
" About three-fourths. Sometimes
they add a little gin and nutmeg to it." "
wnatis a townr"
" A town is a considerable collection
of houses and inhabitants, with four or
five men who " run the party " and
lend money at 1,1 per cent, interest."
What is a city?"
"A city is an incorporated town,
with a Alavor who believes that the
whole world shakes when he happens to
fall flat on a cross-walk."
What is commerce?"
" Borrowing 5 for a day or two and
dodging the lender for a year or two."
Name the different races."
" Horse race, boat race, bicycle race
and racing around to find a man to in
dorse your note."
Into how many classes is mankind
divided?"
Six; being enlightened, civilized,
half civilized, savage, too utter, not-worth-a-cent
and Indian agents."
What nations are called enlighten
ed?" "Those which have had the most
wars, the worst laws and produced the
worst criminals."
" How many motions has the earth?"
" That's according to how you mix
veur drinks and which way you go
home."
"What is the earth's axis?"
The lines passing between New
York and Chicago."
" What causes day and night?"
" Day is caused by night getting tired
out. Night is caused by everybody
taking the street car and going home to
supper."
What is a map?"
" A map is a drawing to show the
jury where Smith stood when Jones
gave him a lift under the eye."
" What is a mariner's compass?"
"A jug holding four gallons.'.
Detroit Frc Pcss.
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