The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, May 03, 1900, Page 2, Image 3

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Translated Prom Dachelaledilln Itutnl hy lilt-
I tcT
How t lio Ugliest Muu In tho
Regiment Won it Dusky
He was tho ugliest man In tho
Steenth lufnntry And lio look oil It
So tho nuui culled hlin Cross Dog and
siivo on the imy rolls lie know no other
i Cross Dog was In tho prime of life
Ibttt looked older lie hnd put In about
1 12 yours In tho nnny and wns nt that
jpolnt In a prlvnto Holillern career where
lie realizes that lio has lost tho knack
of earning n livelihood In civil life but
Btlll yearns for Its freedom Kor It Is
only after about 15 yearn of service
and numerous failures at civil voca
tions that tho average enlisted man
ceases to vow that ho will never tako
on again and settles down to soldiering
for life
Cross Dogs temper was peppered
dynamite Ho had thrashed or been
thrashed by nine tenths of tho regi
ment and was ready at a seconds uo
jtlco to begin again His tongue match
ed bis temper and bis face was seamed
with surliness
Thcro was only one thing In the
world of which Cross Dob was afraid
fiuul that was woman Shure said
IPrivntc SeveiiBpot nv Cross Dog Ivor
loved a woman hed bo scared so hed
cuss her to death and thin elopo with
n recruiting sergeant Hack In tho
States it had been a fortunate thing
for Cross Dog that bo was not suscepti
ble to tho charms of tho fair sex for
his personality was not an attractive
ono and bis conversation was a Jumblo
of cuss words and growls Hut In the
Philippines tho world is topside down
ns a Chinaman calls it and curious
things happen And It was In tho Phil
ippines at the Ilaclentlu do Sovllla
near Isabella Negros tlutt Cross Dog
won a womans heart
A company of the Steenth Infantry
was stationed at Isabella and a de
tachment of live men In charge of Pri
vate Sevenspot was sent to tho hacien
da to protect property In that region
from the raids of Paplrclo bandits who
Bwarmed In tho nearby mountains
Cross Dog was ono of tho detachment
The Hacienda do Sovllla consisted of a
big sugar mill tho blackened ruins of
the plantation bouse burned to the
ground by the Paplrclos and six native
nlpa shacks scattered nlong the west
ern bank of tho river Hallnlmgan Hut
this little hamlet supported a popula
tion of 300 native ninlgos most of
whom burned out of their homes by
tho Paplrclos camped In the big sugar
mill under the protection of Private
Sevenspots little detachment During
the clay they worked In tho cauellelds
nud at night huddled together in the
mill around which the six Americans
stood guard
Lulsa tho woman In tho case for
girls of M are women where the world
is topside down lived In a six by six
nlpa shack built in the box of a two
wheeled cart that stood beneath the
shelter of tho sugar mill roof On tho
evening that Sevenspots detachment
nrrlved at tho hacienda old Pedro was
absent Old Pedro was Iulsas father
Ills crony old Jose In the next village
up tho river had received a montlrs
pay from Senor Holljos that day and
Pedro had gone to pass the evening
with him nud help drink a bucket of
tuba At 11 oclock he camo saunter
ing homeward with unsteady but cat
like stops in blissful Ignorance of tho
fact that the Americanos wero In pos
session of the sugar mill
Pedros brown hide was chock of tu
ba and bis soul was filled with great
joy In fact bo was so happy that ho
yearned to butcher something an old
woman or a baby or a lame log As
he camo through the trail lu tho cane
brake lie slashed at the young stalks
and grimaced blissfully as In Imagina
tion lie neatly clipped the leaders of
unarmed foes with bis bolo sword
Cross Dog was on post too at the
upper entrance to the sugar mill The
first night on guard at a strange post
with n small detachment and In a
country swarming with treacherous
foes Is a great trial to mens nerves
Especially so when It Is next to Impos
sible to distinguish friend from foe
Moreover Cross Dog had been unfor
tunate In his detnlls for a week back
and bad been mnrcKed on an average
of 15 miles each day through muddy
Mceflclds which is equivalent to 10
miles a tiny on an Amerlran highway
Consequently Cross Dogs temper usu
ally peppered dynamite win now saw
edged lightning Sevenspot had posted
blm with the Information Hint unlive
amlgos were not supposed to be abroad
after I oclock and left the test to his
CtosH lc hacked with his bayonet
at the dried mud on his leggings and
Hinted across the narrow clearing be
tween the mill and thccnncllchl There
came Just the semblance of a rustle
from the ciinebiiike and Cross Dog
Hlopped hacking and dropped suddenly
on one knee for at night n man can see
better siptattlng than standing The
nearer his eyes lo the ground the high
er and plainer objects are thrown tip
against the horizon
The rustle lu the canefleld grew loud
er and Cross Dog unlocked the safety
on bis Krag Then oblivious of bis
danger old Pedro stepped noiselessly
Into the clearing and the shadow of
death Cross Dog waited for the roc
ond native to come out of the brake
If he came In the footsteps of his lllo
leader one bullet would do duty for
two And It Is a pity to waste ammu
nition and a dirty rllle barrel makes
worlc If old Jose had accompanied
old Pedro home that night there would
have been two funeral drums to beat
next day Hut as old Pedro came nlono
Cross Dog hesitated a second and de
cided to give the Intruder a chance for
his life
Haiti ho cried
Old Pedro started and then In his
fright came on all the faster his wick-
ed looking bolo In hand That was too
much for Cross Dogs temper and
nerves but he was an American and
Instinctively hated to kill a half armed
creature whose life ho could take as ho
would snuff a candle Moreover ho
had an American contempt for tho
lighting natalities of these brown
mles and the disposition to play cat
and mouse with them until they camo
right up to tho bayonets point So
Cross Dogs llrst shot made a kite of
old Pedros straw hat his second spat
tered the mud lu front of him and
three more made shallow grooves In
his bare brown legs
There was ono cartridge left In Cross
Dogs rllle when Pedro halted panting
at the bayonets point An Inch more
and that cartridge would have been tho
tlual period In old Pedros book of life I
for Cross Dog was not only rattlesnake
mad but also grossly Insulted A bare I
legged ICakiack in Ills shirttall nud a
straw hat anil armed with a four span
bolo had dared to charge right up to
his rllies mouth Cross Dog felt that
ho ought to kill tills fool creature It
was according to orders Hut some
how he couldnt ipilto do It So ho
Jabbed with his bayonet through Pe
dros hide and gave him a choice selec
tion of profanity and advice
Hllnk blank Jab you be exclaim
ed when Mellcann say halt you Jab
halt Jab Savoy You blink blank
caramba fool If you Jab keep vn
mooslu blank you when Mellcana say
Jab halt Mellcana boom boom you
blink blank you blank quick Hllnk
blnnk you Jab when Mellcana say
halt you stop quick every blank tempo
till Mellcana malayoh see you with
bis blanked mala eyes and talkcc ah
keo come here blank you You Jab
Then old Pedro nfter explanations
was permitted to go to bis nlpa shack
and the four Americans off guard re
turned to their blankets After crawl
ing Into his shack Pedro ordered ills
daughter Lulsa to make a light and to
emphasize the order he heat her with
his 1st In the face And Lulsa being
only a woman made a great outcry
Then she got a big bundle of split bam
boo and laid It upon the bed of coals In
the center of the mill and fanned tho
bamboo into n great laming torch
Then old Pedro ordered her to dress
his scratches and beat her lu the face
to Insure obedience The blaze of tho
torch fell upon Cross Dogs back so
that he was a tine mark for a Paplrclos
Itcmlugton nnd blinded his eyes so he
could not see live paces Into the clear
lug And Lulsas outcries deafened
bis ears to the secrets of the canelleld
Por these reasons and not because be
cared to Interfere with Pedros meth
ods of parental discipline Cross Dog
deliberately violated regulations and
deserted bis post
He picked up a bundle of dry split
bamboo and marched through the sug
ar mill to Pedros nlpa shack He
reached lu and caught that disciple of
Solomon by one ankle and dragged him
forth after the fashion of a plantation
negro who knows where tho chickens
roost And Pedro howled and Cross
Dog swore and 50 brown babies woke
up nud squalled anil a hundred ttiun
grel dogs barked
Shure said Sevenspot reporting
the occurrence to his lteutenaut who
vlhui 1 the hacienda the following day
wh u I woke up I thought I were lu
purgathory tho day nfther the holo
caust av an Insane asylum n dog
pound an an orphan asylum An Lu
lsa there th ould dlvll Pedros daugh
ter sat by while Cross Dog larruped
her dad an wept tears av joy an grati
tude Im thlukln twere th llrst tolme
she Ivor knew th ould bandit to get his
deserts The other amlgos say ho has
a brother an two sons with the Paplr
clos in th mountains
If thats tho ease said tho lleuteu
nnt mounting bis carabao you need
not bother to halt him the next time he
tries to come lu after taps I dont
want this detachment to get cut up out
of leniency to any native of doubtful
When tho detachment turned out for
their chicory tho morning nfter old Pe
dros chastisement Lulsa was waiting
for them with a baking powder can
half full of carabao milk for Cross
Dogs coffee Tho men squatted on the
edge of a sugar vat and gnawed their
hard tack and drank their bitter chico
ry Cross Dogs scraggly beard bris
tled with bad temper and he choked In
tlic effort to eat drink and swear In
tho some breath Willi eyes that beam
ed with gratitude and admiration Utile
Lulsa timidly ptesenled her offering of
carabao milk Cross Dog glut cd at
Hllnk blank you he growled
what the blink blank do you want
SI Hcjmr said Lulsa ducking ob
sequiously and holding the can so that
Cross Dog cotid see lis contents
Mtichii gooda
And Lulsa pointed llrst at the mlllt
nnd then to Cross Dogs cup Then
Cross Dog comprehended and grabbed
the can and emptied ll into bis coffee
Ill be blink blanked he growled
If the blink blanked rag didnt bring
me some blink blank milk
Lulsa listened like an attentive pupil
Then with a knowing air she nodded
her little head and pointing Into the
empty can she said
HI senor I savoy Filipino loob
kat Mellcana dam milk SI I savoy
muelia Mellcana poco t tempo
Cross Dog slopped In the middle of n
gulp of coffee and stared at tho little
brown woman
Well Ill bo blink blanked ho ex
claimed If the blink blanked nigger
aint swearing at mo In English
SI si senor she chirped coquet
tlshly lifting the yard of red calico that
Rorvod her as petticoat and dress skirt
and exposing rather more than a peep
of pretty bare ankle I savoy Scno
rlta that mo In Kspnnol Dam nigger
that me Mellcana SI I savey nnicha
Mellcana poco tlempo
Cross Dog choked with Irritation
Well Ill be hllnk blanked was all
ho could say
Porn week thereafter Lulsa followed
nt Cross Dogs heels like a faithful
dog much to that Individuals outspo
ken disgust And meanwhile Lulsas
vocabulary of English became a thing
of beauty nnd a Joy forever to tho sol
Genrrul Iaikuhh ISurneaturaa
Tho late General Logan said Iley
ward Church of Chicago wns a most
intense mnu In his feelings nud his be
liefs lie showed this lu his public
speeches At ono time I wns a member
of tho reception committee nt a small
town where the general was to speak
and consequently snt quite near him
on the platform I forget what was
tho topic but tho general was deeply
Interested In It and llunlly lu empha
sizing n point banged his hand with
tremendous force upon n hard wood
table at his elbow So strong n blow
was It that ono of the bones of his
hand wns broken Ho nevertheless
courageously finished his speech but
ho had to carry his hand In a splint for
sonio tinio thereafter nnd It wns a
question of weeks before he wholly re
covered Its use New York Tribune
Oni of tlic Mont Cluantln Trunin ISver
Kiiomii In A merlon
One of the most glgnntlc trusts ever
formed on this continent was In the
early days of the republic back In
1705 Several gentlemen organized
themselves Into a company for the pur
pose of purchasing from the state of
Ceorgla her unclaimed western terri
tory extending from the Mississippi
on the west to the Atlantic on tho east
and from the tlilrty tlrst degree of lati
tude north of tho equator on the south
to tho southern boundary of Tennessee
on the north Including what now con
stitutes the territory of Georgia Ala
bama and Mfsslsslppl Tills vast ter
ritory was purchased for 500000 and
this was the commencement of tho fa
mous Yazoo fraud about which so
much wns said and written
The bill authorizing the purchase
and sale passed tho Georgia legislature
on Jan 1 1715 and It is said that
members were paid all the way from
eight negroes to 1200000 acres of lnnd
to voto for It Corruption by bribery
was open Qrcnt Indignation spread
throughout tlic state nud upon the as
sembling of the legislature ono year
later an act was passed declaring that
the said resurpod net wns null nnd
void Unit the records relntlng to tho
stuno be hurnod In order that no trace
of so unconstitutional vile nud fraudu
lent ft transaction should remain pub
The Infamous records were placed
in one vast heap Bald a senator
and ft sun glass was used to set It on
Ire that It might be said that tho Arc
that destroyed It wns from heaven
This Is the llrst and only Instance In
the history of the country where n leg
islative body personally superintended
tho destruction by tire of Its previous
Then there enmo nnotber Saturday records of corrupt and obnoxious
i a - niva Nr iiiiii ij n in
nignt this time oni rcuro aim joso
went to a vlllnge down tho river to
visit Juan who had received much
money from Senor Ilolljos And they
tnrrled late and drank a great deal of
tuba and also bono And tho more
they drank the braver they grew until
In the dark hour Just before tho dawn
they laughed scornfully as- they spoke
of the white faced Americanos nnd
snnpped their lingers nt all HaltasI
Then Junn nnd Jose snllled forth to sco
Pedro homo and help him bid defiance
to the American Halt And to In
sure success they carried their sharpest
It was tho enrly morning relief on
guard Cross Dog was on post 2 at
the down river end of tho mill nnd it
nlways stirred his bile to have his sleep
broken Just before daylight Tho nlr
was chill and damp nud Cross Dog
shivered and cursed nil creation by
catalogue Then he stopped and lis
tened The light breeze from the east
never caused that rustic In the cane
tleld Again Cross Dog crouched on
one knee and threw the safety lock of
bis Krag A half naked native stepped
out into the clearing Agnln Cross Dog
wnlted to see if he enmo alone An
other and another stopped out beside
the llrst and the three advanced
crouching with bolos In band They
mockingly echoed Cross Dogs chal
lenge and came on and then the haci
enda awoke to the music of Wow
rprp Wow rprp
Wow rprprp And
this time Cross Dogs rltlo lyid done Its
deadly work as three silent Knklacks
lytug there In the gray morning testi
fied Six men In blue stood and looked
down nt the slain And then there
wns a great uproar and native men
chattered and native women shrieked
nnd nntlve dogs barked and native ba
bies howled Only tho soldiers wero
silent and grave as they looked upon
tho dead until a gray haired little
brown woman enmo and knelt beside
old Pedro and sought to close his eyes
nud compose his limbs Then Cross
Dogs eyes looked down to the ground
nud ho wns ashamed of his handiwork
for the gray old woman was old Pe
dros wife and Lulsas mother It wns
while his eyelids wero weighted down
with shame and pity that little Lulsa
pretty and coquettish nestled up to bis
sldo nnd caressed bis hairy freckled
1st nnd looked up at him with smiling
lips and eyes moist with lovellght
Pressing his hand over her heart
with both of hers she said Mo love
you mucha You boom boom madro
pointing to her mother and we matri
mony Esta
For In the outlying Islands of the
Philippines where the world Is topside
down the old folk pound out no rice
and are the better for being killed
It was thus that Cross Dog won ono
womans heart Hut Sevenspots proph
ecy came true for be cursed her until
bis throat was sore and then exchanged
witii a soldier at Isabella to get out of
her sight And now when some young
soldier bonsts of his success with the
fair sex Cross Dog blurts scornfully
Hllnk blank It I can tako my Krag
nnd 200 cartridges and go out and get
enough women to stnrt a harem All
you have to do to make em love you Is
to kill their mothers and fathers blank
lt New York Sun
laws St Paul Globe
A Ifnppr Innplratlou Thnt Proved to
lit a Iloomernnic
The editor of n small provincial pa
per in Austria was in great dllllculty
to dud a lit subject for his lending nrtl
cle having been too Intent upon other
business or upon pleasure to provide
one Tho last moment hnd come and
tho editor was In despair He tortured
his brain in vain when ho suddenly
was Inspired by a happy thought nud
dashed off the lines
After carefully perusing the leading
article written for the present number
by ono of the nblest of our contribu
tors wo have arrived at the conclusion
that It may bo misinterpreted by the
authorities and regarded as an attack
upon the government We ourselves
consider it to bo perfectly Innocent
but ns we nre unwilling for our rend
ers sake as well as for our own to
have our newspaper confiscated wo
have very unwillingly though as we
think prudently resolved to withdraw
tho article This must servo as tho
apology toour readers for tho blank
space In our present Issue
The journal was published in the
evening nnd the sly editor after per
forming this little piece of stratagem
left the ofllce in high humor As soon
ns ho arrived In tho ofllce tho next
morning a clerk came up to him with
n doleful expression nnd said Herr
Redaktor the paper Is confiscated by
tho police For what reason ask
ed the astonished editor For mali
cious ridicule of tho Institutions of tho
Austrian empire by the omission of the
leading nrtlcle replied the man
A Curlotia Shoe Trunt
Doylestown has four odd characters
who pool their Issues In buying shoes
They nil have the same sized foot and
each regards this fact in the nature of
a libel perpetrated upon him by tho
other three Every year each ono of
tho quartet chips In 18 nnd the fund
of 72 is expended for shoes Buying
them in such quantities there Is natu
rally a reduction in price One would
think that there would bo nn equnl dl
vision of the shoes but that isnt their
little game
The shoes are owned collectively
share nnd share alike and when not
being worn they nre kept In a closet In
tho express ofllce which Is the general
lounging place of tho quartet If ono
man wants to wear new shoes he goes
to tho express ofllce nnd puts them on
If bo wears russets In tho daytime and
wants to wear patent leathers In the
evening bo goes to the express ofllce
nnd makes tho change They have
been doing this for several years and
claim they wouldnt wear shoes In any
other way Philadelphia Record
Why They Keen to the lllnht
It Is n rare treat for npersou to go
through Europe the first time said a
returned tourist I visited ono old
palace in Scotland nnd wns walking
down a long corridor when I enmo to a
sentinel who told mo to keep to the
right I could not see any reason why
I should keep to tho right and nsked
him why but bo said ho could not tell
I finally asked the custodian nud he
said he had looked it up In tho archives
of tho palaco and found that nearly
100 years ago the floor was painted
nnd some people walked over the fresh
paint Tho blllcer of the day was or
dered to station a sentluel there to
keep people off from the fresh paint
and have them walk to the right The
order hnd never been countermanded
nnd from that day to this a sentiuel
stands there nnd tells everybody to
keep to the right Indianapolis lress
Antidote For Curliollc Acid
Alcohol nnd vinegar nre effective
antidotes for carbolic acid poisoning a
New York doctor announces What
ever quantity of tho poison has been
swallowed four times ns much whisky
or five times ns much vinegar should
be administered Immediately No oil of
any kind should be given Thus trent
ed early enough he adds all cases
will recover
Tin K inrrt Mi t II In Mnteli
At a North Sido boarding house one
of the newly arrived boarders named
Hui ton Is nn expert accountant The
llrst evening after his arrival ho began
boring tho other boarders by talking
shop and relating tho great feats of
mathematics that he had accomplished
in his time Smith ono of the star
boarders mndo up his mind to rid the
parlor of shop tall nt least for that
I hnvo n Httlo picco of addition
work that I think you would havo n
hard time in doing If you can add it
without tho aid of n pencil and papor
you aro a good one
Nnmo each Item and I wiil add
said llurton
Five barrels of cider nt frlBG a bar
rel Havo yon got that down
Four bushels of brnn at 00 cents a
bushel Havo you got that down
Fifteen kegs of horscshoo nails at
285 ami two strings of garlio at 50
cents n string Havo yon got that
Yes go on
Six gallons of castor oil nt 425
Havo yon got thut down
Suro yonvo got it nil down
Sure I hnvo said Burtou
H ml How does it all taste
Chicago Journal
Proved Hln Theory MM Dlcil
The acme of realism was reached
though by accident in a criminal trial
a few yoars ago nt Lebanon O
Two men had n personal encounter
Ono of them nfter vainly trying to
draw his pistol from his hip pocket
turned to flee A moment later lie fell
shot in tho small of tho back One
chamber of his pistol was fonnd to have
beon fired His assailant was tried for
The dfense contended ftbnt tho mnn
had shot hiniHelf while trying to draw
tys pistol which had becomo entangled
in the lining of tho pocket and that tho
prisoners shot had not taken effect
Tho prosecution contended that such a
wonnd could not havo been self inflicted
Tho defendants counsel Clement L
Vallandigham undertook to demon
strate to the jury just how tho dead
mans pistol had hung in the pocket and
just how possible it was to inflict such
a wound Suddenly there was n loud
report and the lawyer sank to tho floor
The ball had entered the back almost in
the identical spot where tho dead man
bad been shot
Tho defendant was acquitted Mr
Valandighaui died Cleveland Plain
Thin Dos Cnn Spell
Thoro is n SouthSido lady who owns
n Gordon setter which eho believes ia
endowed with almost hnnian intelli
gence This is not a hastily formed nor
nnfounded opinion but has been devel
oped by years of experience Here is
one of tho many incidents from which
has sprung her faith in her dog
Last Sunday having finished her
dinner tho lady went into the drawing
room to read tho paper On n rug near
the window tho setter was basking
drowsily in tho sun Tho ladys two
sons wero still in tho dining room fin
ishing tho repast and the mother over
heard qomething said nbout bones
Now tho good lady has a mortal dread
that her beautiful dog will choke to
death on a bono some day so raising
her voice eho called ont
Beys dont give Dan any
spelling these two worda
so tho dogs attention would not be at
tracted I am afraid he will choke
As eho spelled chicken the dog
raised his head and listened at bones
he got up walked into the dining room
and looked at tho bones the boys were
picking Chicago News
The Coquette
A coqnetto is a being who wishes to
please Alasl coquettes aro too rare
Tis a career that requires great abili
ties infinite pains a gay and airy spirit
Tis tho coqnette that provides all
amusements suggests the riding party
plans tho picnic gives nnd guesses
charades acts them She is the stirring
elemont amid tho heavy congeries of so
cial ntoms tho soul of the house tho
salt of tho banquet Let any ono pass a
very agreeable week or it may be ten
days under any roof and analyze the
cause of his satisfaction and one might
safely make a gentlo wnger that his so
lution would present him with tho fiolic
phantom of a coquette Lord Beacons-field-
ii rj mi
The Julus carry their wounded to the
hills and expose their wounds to th
nlr having found by experience that
that Is the quickest wny of curing
Girls expect remedies to work mir
acles in a days timo Beautifying
changes come slow Keep on taking
Rocky Mouutain Tea Twill make
your face fair and blooming Ask your
Baking Powder
Made from pure
cream of tartar
Safeguards the food
against alum
Alum baking powders are the greatest
menacers to nealth of the present day
111 D Tyler
Attorneys nt lat
Norfolk - - Nebraska
At Plorco Every Monday
Must Block - - Norfolk Neb
Homeopathic Physician nntl Snrgcon
Olllco Cltlzona Nntlotml HnnW Rnlldius
Tolophono tut
Sanitarium mill Itcslilonco Mnlu nud 13tli St
Tolopliono 9
Norfolk - Nebraska
511 South Otli Street Norfolk Nobr
Will lio In Muilisoti Tuostlny nnd Fridny of
onch week
Olllco over Cltlzons Nntlonnl Bntik Roaldouco
ono block north of CoiiKrogntlounl church
Fashionable Dressmaker
Up stairs In Cotton block ovor Hauius store
Kirst clusa work KUiirnutceil
Norfolk - - - Nebraska
Attorneys at Law
Itoonis 10 11 nml 12 Mnst block
Norfolk - - Nebraska
Undertakers and Enibalmerp
Soesions Blk Norfolk Ave
Norfolk - - - Nebraska
Attorney at Law
Rooms 1 and 2 Robertson JWlgton
Block Norfolk
Oil and Gasoline
Braasch Avenue
and Tnird St
NO 33
Sale and
Boarding Barn
Horses Bought and Sold o
iHi Sausage
Everybody wants the best of
meats We make a special
effort to please our trade
Onr Shop Is the Neatest
In tbo City
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