A GAUGlim THE TRAP THEGFVEAT SMALLPOX SWINDLE AND HOW IT WAS WORDED A llrnrtii tiiul Well IIiiiiiiimI Sclirnio liy li loli Two Sluirp Ciinllili iiou Men Itiiu Udi il a llulcl ICvi prr Out r too 1 dure Piiy you never hoard of tliu groat smallpox swindle mild tliu lio tol manager TUe facta of that to innrkiililc ulfalr wore withheld at the time for the most Mgout reasons of pulley anil oven now I prefer to tell the story without names or localities It happened In the fall of livSO when u certain hotel In it large western city was crowded with tourists One day nt the lnjlglit ol tho season two gen tlemanly looking strangers put up at the house ami were assigned to what we call a double room About a week later one of theuf appeared ut the of lice nnd roiiuested a private Interview with the manager 1 regret to inform you he eald after the dour was clos ed that my friend la down with a se vere attack ol smallpox The proprietor nearly fell out of Ills chair There was known to be small pox In the city and the bare sugges tion that the disease had appeared In the hotel was enough to empty it In u twinkling To let the news get out meant the loss of thousands upon thou sands of dollars It meant the ruin of the seasons business lie must be quietly removed at once said the pro prietor trying to control his agitation Removed exclaimed tho other Taken through the cold air to a lne rctto Why mau that would be mur der Ill not permit It Tho hotel keeper was thunder struck Do you mean to say he must 8tay here lie gasped Certainly said the stranger It was a ticklish situation The ho tel keeper dare not enforce his sugges tion while to let the ease remain was like storing gunpowder In n furnace room Lie pleaded protested begged threatened and blustered but all in vain The man was firm as a rock If you attempt to eject tuy sick friend he declared Ill publish your Inhumanity to the entire community Finally it occurred to the distracted proprietor to see tlrst whether it was really a case of smallpox So he sent for n physiciau swore him to secrecy and hustled him up to the room The doctor took one look at the dUllgiued face on the pillow and reported that the malady was there in a malignant type He advised the mans immediate removal at any cost If you keep him concealed he said the disease may spread and It would ruin you for life Iou owe something to your guests Again the proprietor interviewed tliu friend and again the latter refused to budge from his position Where can I take him V he demand ed You know very well I cant get comfortable quarters for such a pur pose and I wont have him butchered In a pesthouse to please any landlord on earth The hotel man felt his hair stand on end but concluded to let things stand as they Were until morn ing Next day he sent for tho sick mans friend and asked him whether he had any suggestions to make Yes he replied 1 thought up a plan over night which you may adopt or not as you like As I said before he continued It Is useless to try to rent quarters for such a case We might however buy a small cottage and take him there I have figured tho thing up and the total expense would be about 5000 If you are willing to hand over that amount I will take him hway and assume all further respon sibility I make the offer entirely out of sympathy for your guests The landlord looked him In the eye I too have thought the situation over he said and Im convinced its a confidence game pure and simpje Im cpnvinced theres nothing the mat ter vitli your dear frlqnd up stairs but I am also convinced that the slight est breath of the affair would greatly damage the reputation of the house As a business proposition I consider it worth 5000 to get rid of you The other man spiled Ironically Call u cab nnd get out your money he said and Inside an hour the Incubus had been spirited through a side door swathed In blankets and driven away ASjthe landlord shrewdly surmised the whole thing was a confidence game and he learned the particulars later on through a sport he had once befriend ed There was nothing tho motter with the rascal up stairs except that his face had been pricked n little with a quill dlnped in croton oil something i that makes a horrible looking pustule which disappears In a few days iud leaves uo mark I always thought tho hotel man showed good sense in tak ing the IourM he did He wns caught iu a trap and took the cheapest way out The bare rumor of even a I pected ciiM would probably have In- i vol veil a loss of i0t00 or JO000 It was far better to pay the 5000 and harge It to education New Orleans Times Democrat Up True lo You rue I ft Nobody Is more entitled to the grati tude of his country than the mau who Is true to himself who s a useful right living law abiding subject Hap py the until id huppy the community in which he lives if through all the storms and struggles of his day hu carries unstained to the end the white flower of a blameless life IZntty Miles There Is a man over In that mip eiuu who has lived for -10 days on water Giles-IV-v Thats nothing I bnve itn uti who has lived for near- I Jy 40 vein- water Mile -I mi Hllc I t jIIeii Nii n nil Hes a eea captain Chicago Ni vs tlmtrnyintf Money Extraordinary precautions are tnken by tho United States government In the destruction of Its worn out and filthy iiiper money The fact that this could be used again makes It necessary that Its destruction should bo con ducted with care and ho Hindu com plete All the paper money thnt passes through the treasury Is sorted and the old bills are setit to the redemption division where they are searched for possible counterfeits Then they aro carefully counted and tied up Into bundles of 100 notes each A great canceling machine then drives four holes through each of these bundles of which a careful record Is kept The piles of bills are then cut Into two parts one set of halves going to the secretarys olUcennd the other to the registers olllce In each place tho halves arc again counted after which they are choped by machinery Into fragments Not satisfied with this tliu lilts are then boiled In vats of hot water nnd alkali until they aro reduced to an unrecog nizable pulp This the law penults tho treasury to sell to manufacturers of novelties who make It Into little mod els of the cnpltol and tho White House which arp sold as souvenirs In tho Washington stores Now bills are Is sued In an amount equal to those destroyed Youths Companion A Dcci iitlvf Illnili A writer iu the Now York Tress says of Hugh 1 tirant ox mayor of Now York and Ilysses S Grant Jr It is not a bit odd that they should liavo been chums at college Names often draw men together One day long after they had cut their political eye teeth after Hugh was sheriff Buck said as they strolled down Broadway Hugh why Is It you are so modest With a sly twinkle tho future mayor replied Modesty doesnt do a man any harm in polities Hugh firant may have an ensy look about his face but lie can hold his own with the shrewdest Naturally warm hearted he Is as cold at business as Uussell Sage At poker he Is rec ognized as pastniaslor I have yet to see the man who can outhold him lay em down quicker when hes beat bet em harder when hes got em anil gather in the pot with 11 more regret ful air His skin being clear and his blood clean he can blush like a sensi tive girl still tied to mothers apron strings Hut brethren dont let that blush fool you Hose Water imtl llnln Flowers know the difference between a rainstorm and a drenching from the garden hose You may deluge them with barrels from the hydrant and they will at best simply hold their own Generally they wither in the long dry seasons and that without regard to the artificial wetting they may re ceive from the gardeners But lot a little shower however brief fall upon them and they brighten visibly The difference is that the rain brings down with It through the air or col lects in the air a chemical quality that tho vegetation lieeds The rainwater may be as like that In the lake as two volumes of water can be but when It has ridden the upper levels of tho at mosphere when It has traveled through the various stages of vapor and liquid and lias tumbled down through that retort of the air it has become charged with elements that no man can give It and the lower knows and recogiiizes It as the first field flowers recognize It In the beginning A FlKlitliiff Strnn That a swan will fight fiercely was shown by an exciting struggle- be tween a swan and a park policeman on tlc upper lake In Waterlow park Eng land Some nulla rubber balls had rolled into the water and to get them the constable paddled out In n punt This drew the notice of the male Bwan which deserted Its consort and the Urood of cygnet nnd went for the con stable with great fury Onco or twice it almost upset the punt by causlug the constable to overbalance It In sav ing his logs from the birds beak It Was only with difficulty nnd risk thnt the balls were recovered Tho swan tjien followed the punt to tho bank making vicious darts at the constable A Ill II 11 cy Ahout Chepnc Choose said some wiseacre long ago digests everything but itself Never was theio a greater error per petuated by a popular proverb It aids Iu the digestion of nothing niid being utmost totally indigestible simply adds another burden to an already pver burdened digestive system The fool lug of comfort produced In a person Df robust dlgesthe faculties by partak ing of a little a very little cheese Is due entirely to tho excitation of the tlow of digestive Uuld provoked by the ingestion of 11 completely Indigestible substance National Druggist SlrniiKe Tlilm In Nnvu Siotln It wns here I met a womuii who had never seeu 11 peach a young lady who had never owned a box of chocolates ami best of all a handsome Intelli gent young fellow who had never seen u drunken mau It was here I attend ed n concert consisting of songs reci tations organ solos and a duet nil furnished by 0110 woman The duet she announced wns between herself and the organ the organ Inking the soprano and she the alto Bay of Fundy Letter In New York Post A Sure TIiIiik Blggs Ou my last trip to Europe 1 lost J00 betting on the ships dully run Boggs You must hnvc been very un lucky Biggs Yes I found out afterward that I had been betting with the chief engineer New York Journal THE flUllFMK yySUlUffppAYt jOjqTOJljjK 1 18iffi LIFES VARIORUM Borne work or thin xinii atrit or that and KtlnJ at eury turn Sonic Ion or what lliej havent pot ami what llicy liaU tlicy apuru Anil noine null or tlio mountain rak to eft thr xuni lit U llifn crawl Into mime suntr hold ami alrep It oft next ilij Some flint till rartli a Hut rate plicc to alaie anil stint ami kp Anil Ilfi a lilo iilraniiro to mtislat In Iwlng Klinn ami iinno Ami Mlitrn ultli a lulnMo In tlio hanil aiul liiirl mil lyu Will atnlie tluMr llca that they ran apeiul more Hun they rail ttnl I11M li Sonic take n ililnk when I lie arc dr ami aome when they air it Soma ilrlnk or aurvl riiiirniurnnra auke tlut they tuny torijit Ami Rome there lie like yon ami me Ireo roin nil bIiiih arcurntl Who hlr lali iloin a rule or tile neier n get athliat Pome turn lo tlila aonie turn to tint or ortuiic utiil lor 111110 And noine wont Inrn or anjthlne ami Ret t hero Just tho fume Hut tlieiva n fomtnon ttiniliip point a ate un kind lull Just Where rich and poor and groat and mull turn one and all to dual - Galveston Kewa TALKING SHOP A Scntliiu nt OoiirrriiliiHr WliloliTlicro In oiiHlilcrnlilt lluiiilinir If there Is one thing that makes mo 11 little wearier than another said an amateur cynic It Is to hear a mail boast that ho never talks shop t met a fairly eminent actor at a little gath ering not long ago and when some pleasant reference was niade he drew lilmself up and said You will pardon me I nin sure but really I make It a rule never to talk shop That remark convinced two or three thick headed hearers that he was slngulary freo from vanity but it convinced the rest of us that lie was a double dyed don key and a poseur of the purest ray serene Every right minded man likes to talk shop and does so whenever he gets a chance It Is that which makes class clubs almost Invariably a suc cess The members aro all Interested In the same thing and can talk shop ad lib without getting called down One of the redeeming features of matri mony is tho fact that a man secures a helpless victim to whom he can talk shop every day of the year When a chap Is traveling as In n strange city what a Joy it is to bump up against somebody In ones same line of business It Is like meeting 11 long lost brother 1 have often thought that the chief objection to being a hangman is thit there are so few per sons with whom a fellow could dint about the craft And yet It has grown to he a fash Ion among people of eminence In all the professions to affect 11 reluctance to discuss the precise thing in which each is most Interested They dont like to talk shop Faugh Nobody has any right to make such an asser tion except a burglar In a police sta tion Now Orleans Times Democrat Hi Sniv tliu Iolnt A former attorney general of the United States in a recent nrtlcle tells the following anecdotes of Mr Justice Miller of the federal supreme court Judge Miller was a very agreeable man socially but in the later years of his life became somewhat Impatient upon the bench lis was no orator him self and seemed to have an aversion to all attempts at oratory in court I have seen him on more than one occasion disjoint with sharp questions a beauti fully prepared speech with which an ambitious orator expected to charm and captivate the court One midsum mer day as It Is said he was holding court In n westorn state and a lawyer whom wo will call Brown was ad dressing him In a long rambling speech The Judge listened nnd fanned himself and fidgeted about on the bench for some time and finally lean ing over his desk said in an audible whisper Confound It Brown come to tho point MWhat point inquired the some what astonished lawyer Any point responded the Judge and though the sequel does not appear It Is probable that there was n rapid condensation of talk In that courtroom after this short colloquy The Cnnier 15 e The Nile is essentially a river of si lence and mystery Even the cnmels turu their beautiful soft eyes upon you us if you were intruding upon their si lence nnd reserve Never were the eyes In a human bend so beautiful as a camels There is a limpid softness tin appealing plalntlvenoss Iu their expres sion which drag at your sympathies like tho looL In the eyes of 11 hunch back It means that with your oppor tunities you might have done mora with your life Your mother looks at you that way sometimes in cliuivh when tho sermon touches a particular ly raw nerve In your spiritual make up 1 always feel like apologizing when a camel looks jit inc Lilian Bell In Wo mans Home Companion llmiiiiK lllm Dim n Ho I believe that a man should let his acts speak for themselves She Am I to understand then that when you took my hand iu yours lust night you intended It as 1 proposal of marriage Chicago News Unite the llcVL rar Osmond Well youve never seen mo run after people who have money Desmond No but Ive seen people run after you because you didnt bnve money Baltimore Jewish Comment The most celebrated battle steeds of the civil war were Cincinnati Traveler and Winchester the favorite charges uf Grunt Lee and Sheridan The first ppstofllce was opened In Paris In MQ2 In England In J81 In America In 1710 THE BALD EAGLE AT HOME He Cliimru n High Trrn 1iir III ON fi lilt i Nmt All old friend met us Ho first showed us a black spot far up on the shore then dilltcd grandly down upon set pinions tucking In and out like 11 yacht working to windward It hap pened he wis slanting shoreward w lieu lui passed and at III yards his snowy head ami tall broad brown fans showed to line advantage We could sec the polished ellow of his hooked bill and the fierce Hash of his marvel inirt golden telescopic eye 11s he turned it upon us mid then buck to his tireless searching of the water and the wave line along shore For j ears this eagle hoary old beach comber as he Is has patrolled tho shore dully for tulles seeking what the wlilers have cast up for bo It known he Is not above accepting even carrion Many a dead fish and lost bird he gets for tho trouble of picking them up but ho can hunt too when ho feels so ills posed Season after season he and his unite have patched tho old nest 11 ml reared their eagles In pence No one can climb the tree and no decent man would shoot at the birds Should you visit the foot of the tree your nose will be assailed by a most objectionable odor and your naturally brief Inspection will convince you that the eagles do hunt more than they are given credit for Everywhere are frag Uionts of fish while among them are wings mid talis which must have be longed to grouse portions of hares and other fragments suspiciously like cer tain parts of lambs sucking pigs and domestic fowls But they were not our lambs pigs or fowls and so 110 shot whistles after the old pirate who seems to iiiiiliistniul that he Is free to buccaneer to Ills hearts content- Ed W Sandys In Outing GESTICULATING TALKERS llnlliiim Wine Arum Hilly When Clin vitmIiik With One- Atiotln r The farther south one goes Iu Europe the more do tho people gesticulate In conversation asserts a traveler who Is at present doing Italy A Neapolitan he says goes through 1111 entire course of calisthenics before ho has talked live minutes Give a Neapolitan a pair of dumb bells and 1 1 ilk him wliii t he thinks of tho weather and before he finishes his answer ho will have taken enough healthful exer cise to last him nil day This traveler spent ninny an Interest ing hour In watching the Neapolitan talk One day in a cafe lie sat next to a couple of Italians who were engaged in n most spirited conversation The younger of the two men grow very excited Willi his hands he made reaching and clinging motions as if climbing Then he reached right nnd left above his head as one would do In picking cherries Then without slack ening his remarkable How of conversa tion he put the thumb nud first finger of his left hand together and held them a few Inches before his eyes anil went through the careful movements of one threading a small needle And nil the time he talked Next he made overhand I motions ns of throwing Then he gave I an Imitation of some one swimming I After that he described several rapid circles with ids left hand which gave the Impression of a revolving wheel I Then he leaned forward and with his right hand lifted ne toil ns a person would act In trying to put a key Into n keyhole The writer nsketl his friend I who understood Italian what all the fuss was about Theyre talking chiefly about tho weather was the reply London Mail Ill Ilrnnnr Smril lllm The thickness of his brogue secured for a iecent arrival from the Emerald Isle a ride of several hundred miles nt the expense of the Pennsylvania rail road Ills destination was Boston and at the Broad street station he asked for a ticket to the flub The ticket seller was unable to determine whether It was Boston or Washington the map wanted to reach but finally sold him a ticket for the latter city and a few hours later he found himself In the national capital As ho was unnbjc to rend the mistake was not discovered until he reached Washington and to complicate matters ho had not suffi cient funds to purchase a ticket to Boston He presented his case to the railroad officials at Washington and they put ting him to a test were unable to dis tinguish from his pronunciation of Washington and Boston any material difference thus exonerating the clerk at the Broad street station iu tills city for his error The facts of the casr being laid before the general passen ger department the man with the brogue was forwarded to his proper destination Philadelphia Itccord Fruit Veraiia Alculiol Fruit will destroy the desire for al coholic drinks Oranges and apples have been found to be tho most of fectual cure for Inebriates And the more they eat of these lnclnus fruits the more tie desire for drink will di minish until at lust It Is completely crucified and so far ns the Individual Is concerned Is gone forever Tin- II In 17 Cn 11 Father from head of stairs Bessie If that young man doesnt go pretty soon he will miss the last car Bessie In parlor Thats all right papa He likes to walk New York Journal When n married wotnnn talks of her girlhood days she reminds us of tho amateur fisherman The best catches always got away from her Denver Post The highest Inhnblted place Iu the world Is the customs house of Anco uiarcai In Peru It being 10000 feet above the sea K W M K M V S V 4 fc itf fc J V A KwkW77WWk7 5 OUR BEST 5 FRIENDS 2 2 ssSl 5 H tSKL aiBrMSSatfgi wiiiill TOSMliaWSBSSgSk lfvjffiI fc are thf lone lime tiwrs of Smith Pmnlfrs The more turd work turned on the more Apparent is Smith Premier durability Repair bills reduced ton minimum Smilh Premier capacity for Rood work all the time I uneqtialed Catalogue Free Ask for It The Smith Premier Typewriter Co Jy at III Fit I Wi Wi i v i r If illWHMfei4 SI IK WAS HUN1 1 A blindness it mes t w new and then 1 have it now It is tticer I can hv y tircycs but nm your nose I cant read because some f tin are blurred dark spots cover thrm it is very uncomfortable A 1 know all about it its I VSIM PS I A Take one of these it will cure yon in lea minutes What is it A Rinans Tabnle - A MiKitiiMinil hinltli thnt It M A N n will nut lir nilll Tin f Imnlili tiMn mul rilnii Mtn WaNTII lll r Noll III nclll II I I A N Hull tin piirUiKl Ullll BUI rll liollllltllllli llllAVM 11 fen 1iiilB or Iwi Imi Ilmlnti fur Hi rni mi l liail nl mid UriiK miirn I n nuiiieliimml mm tlniU mul tiiillniiiiiliilrt will IU nmlkil luunj million lui ti liiuu lurwiruril U tliu UIjiuiibUIiciiiIcjI Co o to Buruiobt Nm York TRY THE Daily News Job Department FOR FINE COMMERCIAL PRINTING SPECIAL PRICES ON LABGE ORDERS L Union Pacific Through Trains ARE SOLID VE8TIBULED Direct Line to the West f 11 I r sjfca Colorado Wyoming Utah California JDregonJ AND FINELY EQUIPPED WITH Palace Sleeping Gars Dining Cars Free Reclining Chair Oars Ordinary Sleeping Oars Plntsch Lighted Fur Tiiuo Tables Folders Illustrated Hooks Pamphlets descriptive of territory traversed call on F W JUNEMANyAent