TIIK NOIIWI.K WKKKI.V NKWS .lOI'liNAU FKIHAY , .IANTAUY 12,1012. The Norfolk Weekly Ncws-Journul 'J'lll : yjttVVH. K > | ; | | | | . , | ISSl _ TIIK .lol'UNAL. ' KHlnlillMhcil 1S77. TIM : in si ; IM III.ISHIM ; CIIMI'.X.N v , \v. N iirsio , fri-Hiiii-iii. I ! ! ' . Ill Si : , \ In I'l..Mldrllt N A IM'HK. Hi-rrutiiry. i : rrj Prliln ) . II ) mull , per ji-iir , yi.r > 0 I'ltiliTi'il ill tinitiiNjnritri' al Norfolk , TitlopliuiiPH Killliirlnl Department Ncln iixUa , IIH M' < ytnl-rliiHM inntlur. Tchtplmiii'K. Ili-ll 'i'i Automatic 1122 That i oiil winter we-athor In he-re. Involution IH holler thai ) resolution. Culling down the tarirr on wool re quires nioru skill than Hlu < ep shearing. Tlu > railroad companies report con tinued buying of earn , locomotives and Htool rallH. Ponnul iiolltlclans should bo given a rich brown roast. They don'L amount to shucks. Textile inlllH , especially woolen mills , huvo buun biiHlur of Into than for two years beforo. Th Imchollors already art1 begin ning to take to tlie weeds realizing Uiu danger tlioy are In. An uloveii Htory steamship IIIIH buun projected. It will probably ride thu waves llko a sky serapur. II. Rider Haggard has buun made a buron by King lieorge. What will he do with Kudyartl Kipling ? A Maryland man wrote poutry to ii girl and now .she wants $ a5.0l)0 ) dam ages. The girl desurvus It. We can't toll whether wo shall noeci any more coal this winter until we bear from tin ; groundhog Feb. 12. Questions which concern the belter inent of humanity and the equalizing of opportunity can not be kept out ol polltlci ; . The Toledo Hindu says : "The pol usud to call the kettle black , but whal will the llreless cooker say to tin paper bag. " Persons who desire to attain philo sopliic calmness of soul should nevei add up the totals of their cash books for the year. The Italians and Turks both claim ; victory after every little battle They'll have to have an umpire to do eido the same. The total number of farms on whicl irrigation was practiced in the Hnite < States in 1OH. ! ) was Ifil.tIO ablins 108,208 In 18 ! ) ' . . The foreign trade of the Unite < States last year amounted to threi and a half billion dollars , exceodiii ! all previous records. ( ! ov. Hooper of Tennessee , afte spending two days in the state's prlf on as a common convict , was might ; Kind to parole himself. Senator Kenyon has introduced i bill at Washington reducing the mile age of senators from 10 ! to 10 cents It also cuts out free shaves. Chicago is to have a home for dif abled poets. The people who do th disabling will not be asked to coi : tribute. They have done their part. Many single men will feel belle about Jaap year on learning that the are permitted to decline on presen ing the proposer with a new silk gowi The Chicago packers face a possibl jail sentence. If they could only pae a jury as easily as they can cattl and hogs the result might bo dlfforen As thu woman suffrage movemei : Is spreading rapidly , it would bo we to have all school boys Instructed i sowing on buttons ami darning stocl Ings. New Year's resolution for all wh write for thu newspapers : To us two words where formerly you use four , and yet expruss the Idea pe fectly. There can be no doubt thai the don ocratlc managers fear President Tuft strength , if they did not they woul not try so hard to prevent his nom j.ition. Senator Hailoy of Texas is oppose to the further encouragement of ar The people of Texas scorn to bo 0 ] posed to the further encouragomei < n Ilalley. The mother of the Chinese ompen recently eloped with an actor. It wji not Nat Goodwin. It probably woul have boon though , had Nat been give the chance. . Oeorgo W. Perkins , the man wli has recently started out to rofori business , has just finished a J5.0C chicken coop at ills home. No woiuh eggs are high. Relative lo the crnsado against pn HP drinking cups , some one snggcsl a device that a man can carry in h hat. Hut if a fellow has a hat , win else does ho need ? In one of the eastern cities a ma \\as found starving to death who wn wearing a Cnrnogio mednl. Medal are all right in their way but the an- not of much account to a hungry man. Many people fool thai a good not of resolutions renders you exoiiuit from malting any more for nnoUier fifty wuoUa. From thuvny so'mo one leaves that door open up in Mndlolno Ilnl , wo nro convinced that he was brought up In a barn. Sonic- people start a good movement and then run away from It. The G'znr of Russia Is responsible for originating The Hague conference. As paint costs high and a lot will bo reiiulred , Mr. Tuft will have to pay roundly for that portrait he has been having done recently. With snow storms In Texas and ripe strawberries in New Englnnd , the mi- Bacioim weather man shuts his eyes and snaps up a cent , confident of get ting right half the time. The Indian Is being civilized rather than exterminated. The census re ports show that thure are rually moro Indians in this country today than there were 100 years ago. A tender hearted man in Ohio who advertised for a wife , got so many application * that he decided to stay single. He says ho doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Now it appears Mint Morse won $2,000 while speculating in AM.intn jail. If ho wore given a free hand no doubt the government could gel all the jail expenses paid. The grizzly bear dance is general ! } condemned , but the young folks arc impatient about holding each othei off at arm's length when you can hire a horse and buggy for $2. fen. ! Diaz is to be invited back tc Mexico by the Madero govcrnmeni and is promised protection. Hotter lei him stay where he is , both for his out comfort and the peace of the country That bonnic Scotchman , Andrew Carnegie , is said to enjoy a daily in come of over $ -10,000. About all thai Andrew has to do is give advice tether t < other men as to how to best moot tin cost of living. From the way the applications an beginning to come in. Uncle San might just as well withdraw his advertisement vortisoment of the white house fron the For Rent column , and save unnec essnry charges. There is a now school started li Now York whose special business i is to tench women how to pick out ; husband. Just as if women noodot to bo taught , .lust watch thorn , uov that leap year is here. llr. Wiley is lighting fake , inlnci meat , but good mince meat aloui does not make pies like mother's. Tin most important thing is to pcrsnadi sistejr and wife and daughter to di some cooking themselves. Since Houston , Tex. , adopted tin commission term of government fivi years ago , it has wiped out a debt o $ 100,000 , paved seventy miles o streets out of the general revenue and reduced the tax rate from $2 pe $100 to $1.70. It was the endorsement of Theodor Roosevelt that gained the nominatloi for President Taft in his first can paign. Strange as it may seem it i not unlikely that it will be his oppc billon Mint will secure Mr. Taft' second nomination. It has been said that Eve wa brought into this world for Adam' Express company. It looks as if great many other people had who It is shown that the express companie of the country in their net income lase year , avoragen " 8 percent. Col. IJryan's visits to Jamaica ar undertaken , it is charged , in ordc that ho may get a new supply c ginger. There is a colonel living i New York , who never has been i ' " Jamaica , but whoso supply of polit cal ginger and popper Is inoxhaustibli d ! James A , Patten is said to live ver largely on fried mush and syni ] Why should a man who can live a cheaply as that bo rushing aroun worrying himself by stacking up s big a pile of money as ho Is reporte ! t to have ? Almost looks like a wast of time. Dr. Woods Hutchlnson says thf four hours a day is enough work fc any man. Now if the doctor will to n us how to got the cash with which t pay for the butter and a litlle brea on it wo will bo very thankful for th extra time and bo glad to live th slmplo life. Secretary Stimson says the Unite States Is unprepared for war. Seem a little strange that nobody is wantln to light us very badly. The nation of the earth have evidently been lool ing up our record and find that , pn pared or unprepared , we have alway been able to defend ourselves an make a pretty good showing. The Chicago board of education ha granted the use of eleven school bulli ings as social centers where dance or oilier forms of entertainment which do not conflict with law may bo held without cost. Those who favor this Innovation contend Mini It Is the greatest move for public decency and belter morals' that has yet boon made. Thorp IH a bill before congrctm to es tablish n children's bureau. It Is bndly needed. The time Is coming whi'ii the federal sovornmont. no mai ler how strangeIt may seem , will ac tually take as much pains and spend us much money In the raising and de velopment of hoys and girls In the best possible and most healthy man- lor. as they do now to the care and study of mules and shoep. Cincinnati has launched an Inno vation now Mint If properly managed will do as much toward the sanitation of Mio tenement districts as any one thing well could. They have a free municipal laundry for the use of the poor women of the tenements. This will remove tlie clothes washing pro cess , with Its soapy steam and other discomforts , from the rooms in which the families live and sleep. A person traveling in Germany should bo very careful not to make too close observations or to be In quisitive , especially when In the vi cinity of the palace , government build ings or forts ; noilhor should he make skolchos oven though they bo merely of the kaiser's woodshed. For doing such things several Englishmen were recently given sentences of from three to seven years by the imperial court. Editor Harvey of Harper's Weekly who is not an admirer of Col. Roo.se volt , gives this ironical pen picture of him : "He has views on everything He can cook you a chop with the same skill , deflness of touch , and delicacy of service with which ho can maUi peace between warring nations , tend mothers the duty of their sex , or write history of the origin of man betweci shooting lions before breakfast 01 strangling boars with his bare hand ; after lunch. There is nothing ho does not know or has not done. " The people of Jamaica are awake - , to the changes that the opening eli i canal will bring and the opportuni ties for trade expansion that wil' come their way. The governor of the island recently visited the canal /.one to inspect the sites of the fortifica tions and it is understood that Greal Britain will fortify the island ant make It a commercial center whore her ships can find a haven in case one is needed. Jamaica is most ad vantngcously located and is probabl ) on the eve of great development. Secretary Fisher proposes the ere ation of a national park bureau. Mucl has been accomplished in the line o : rescuing from the despoiling hand o the pioneer , the lumberman and tin speculator largo tracts of the mos beautiful and picturesque natural parl land in the world , Large slices o the primeval forests have also beci saved , but there is need oC constan progress and development if our sys tern of national parks is to beconu 3 i half what its possibilities suggest am f : a wise and comprehensive control am [ | management Is the first essential President Taft favors the creation o such a bureau. PRESIDENTIAL YEAR. The country has now entered upoi that one year in four which the bus ! ness man is supposed to view will dread as unfavorable to business. Nevertheless , we doubt if much wel grounded and legitimate industry i checked for fear of what the America ] people may do next November. Q Over-confidence has caused mor 8 industrial suffering Mian over pru ll donee. Over and over again it ha 11 happened that business men , at Mi 8 top of some wave of prosperity , woul extend their ventures to a point ii viting disaster. Mills would cnlarg and machinery would bo bought t an extent beyond the capacity of th , country to buy. Undoubtedly the cr paoity of our factories today is in th main sufficient lo supply the need of the country. Any man who is worried about th economic policy of this country as 1 may bo affected by legislative an electorial results , should rent or bu some land and set men at work pre s ( lacing tilings to oat. The market world is wide \ , and mouth ( ) are hungry , even in bad times. COMMERCIAL CLUB WORK. Another year has ended and a nc\ one begun , In the Commercial clu r calendar , and Norfolk business me have reason to congratulate then selves and the retiring hoard of d rectors over the achievements of 1911 As shown by the socrolary's report , ; very great deal has been done fo Norfolk during the past twelve month and the new year opens with a. spier did outlook. The retiring board is or titled to the sincere thanks of th public , The fact that the Norfolk Coir merclal club is the fifth largest in th stale , in point of membership , show that Norfolk Is nllve to the necosslt ; for organized effort in city bulldln and that the whole community is be hind Mio work of the club directors A new board has been chosen , ii whom tlie members have utmost cor lldeiicc. and there Is irnson to be lieve ( hat this orKiinlzntlon will be able' tn do much In the coming year to push NoiTolU ahead. Norfolk never could expect lo nrrlvo at the development to which It IH en titled , wit limit organized effort. A good , live Commercial club can nniUe In town by persistent work. And that's why Norfolk has boon and Is itolng to mipport this orgnnlznllon to Its utmost. The co-operation of every business man Is needed to make the work successful. And to the extent thai iivcry man Is interested In Nor folk , every citizen ought to be willing to lend a hand. "A SAILOR'S hOC , " CLOSED. It was one of the charming features of the personality of Rear Admiral "Hob" Evans , that he could never un derstand why ho was called "Fighting Bob. " Ho felt himself that his tem perament was a sweet and gentle one. Endless anecdotes illustrated how Evans gel his nickname , and some of l them have boon reprinted since his death. One from his "Sailor's Log" which has been overlooked , tells how a band of Chilian ruffians followed ' him and another officer about the streets of Valparaiso at the time ol the Chilian imbroglio. Evans wrote : "Wo wore on the main street of the town , otherwise1 they would no doubt have attacked us , and If they had , wt would surely have pounded the life out of two of them at least. " There was a charming frank sincer ity about Evans that endeared him tc the American people. Ranks and dis tinctions never meant anything to him Ho was as good as anyone , and every one else was as good as ho. Hit simplicity of heart is illustrated bj the following incident told in the "Sailor's Log. " At the time of the Kiel naval re view ho was introduced to a yomu Gorman captain , whose name ho dlt not catch. The young man secmc ( brilliant , and they engaged in a loiif talk on naval matters , in which end expressed sharp dissent from tin other. Soon the captain introdnco < him to his wife. "She was an attract ive and charming woman , " Evam wrote. I After a long Mine it came ovei Evans that a crowd of people secmoi to bo awaiting n chance to talk l ( the couple , so ho hied himself to the smoking room. Afterward ho lenrnct that he had boon talking so long t ( the Gorman prince and princess. ! Ho impressed those royal person ages so delightfully that when late : I Prince Henry toured America , Evam J was made by Emperor William spocia aide-de-camp lo the prince , and ho nc companied him on all his travels. Evans paid a severe price of pail for'tho time lie chased the doctor out of the room with a revolver , whoi " they tried to amputate his leg afte Fort Fisher. During recent summer : ho was a familiar figure at a Lak < .Uohonk hole1 , where the children usei , to gather about to hear sea storici 1 ; from the o'd ' lighter as he sat witl 1 i his aching leg in a chair. AROUND TOWN. You haven't had quite all that's 'join I ing to you in the way of winter ox _ I peripnces , unless you've 1'ad u ridi on .some of tlieso late trains. Mailif.e-i is getting so it can't sleep nights , it'i so used to silling up to wait for SHi : passengers. "Ever see so much fine sleighing am so little sleighing ? " asked a Norfoll man. The ice ouglil lo bo Ihick enough skalc on. There were less swimming partie last week than usual. "I'll bet there isn't a chicken i Norfolk that hasn't had its com 8 frozen by this time , " said a Norfol ! B man who owns some. J , i- We see by the paper Mint they bur ; e1,000 tons of coal a day in Omaha. W o burn almost that much ourselves. But wo have this to bo thankful for wo haven't had any frozen pipes , What in thunder would this colum do if the pipe should freeze up ? ot It was staled at the Commercial clu . mooting the other night that some c 1 the directors had spent so much Mm ) ' in the club work Mint they had boo ' ' at home only two nights a week. On ' man who never had thought aboil that as an excuse for being awa from home niglils , wants to got o the board. \ - Sunday morning would have bee ; the psychological moment to atlomp suicide in Norfolk by blowing oul til gas. It made us kind of sore to sec i letter come from California with Mil or. the outside of Mio envelope : " r , Norfolk , Neb. Where it's cold. s Wo contend that the outside of th envelope is for the address only. MIH l > e ( ho weather man turned 01 the winter faucet and then went t sleep. Why doesn't somebody invet tigate. It would servo him right If h had frozen. Isn't it EVER going to let up ? When the people of Winner sav that gale headed this way they mlgh have done the friendly net nnd direcl cd it townrd Pierre. What's the us of xhoulni ; MIC nto Norfolk to all these storms ? If ever > body that bought coal paid liot' ! bills , we'd like to be In the coal \7. \ this wools. It was Just twenty-four years ago o\t Friday that the- big olio came , 'lino to dust off those- old yarns bout how warm it was In Mio after- eon and how by night you couldn't ce from the house to the barn. Per- onnlly wo haven't much definite collection of Mio Incident. Heats HitdiMico how Mils spoil of c'ltipornluro keeps up. Also how It scops down. But there's always a little silver n the lining of the cloud , if you can ; > nly find It. For instance , this Is real for Mio Iceman. Also for the coal man. We don't know , though , as the coal man's bumper sale's add much real silver to the lining of the cloud , after nil. They add It lo the lining of the 'onl ' man's pocket. It's robbing us of a chance to use that new pockel for anthing but keys , that's what this weather's do- ng. The whole $1,400 Mint we wore arrying around a few days ago , has none for coal. When wo think of that , wo don't blame Friday for vetoing anything that looks like a bill. Our declaration of armed hostilities lias put to rout the b. c. , all right , all right. Hut hang 'em , they're gelling around the cannon's month now by Bending 'em through Iho mail. We see by Iho picture of the colonel nel in the paper , that ho still wears the o. f. kind of cuffs Mint are cyl indrical in shape , like a stove pipe. ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS. A real hero doesn't often have nn audience when lie begins his perform anco. Still , it is better and cheaper tc guess on the weather than the stock market. Somehow the men in the chorus al ways look as if they wore inclined tc regret it. Members of the box party should be seen and not heard. Sometimes they are both. People are abused for talking about the weather , but that isn't what the gossips discuss. An Atchison man is so lucky thai the only time he over missed a train it was wrecked. While we have considerable sym pathy to dispense , very little of it ii over sent to jail. It is also strange that girls whc are pretty lazy in other respects are willing to entertain. And there are those who travel the straight and narrow path because tliej nro too stingy lo pay toll along the primrose Promenade. As a general rule , a girl's conver sation entitles her to enter in tin featherweight class. You know something of self-contro if you can enjoy u holiday withon eating too much. For a nation that has never beei whipped , America abuses its army am navy a great deal. It disappoints a man some to re turn from u trip and find people dii not know ho was away. Many women continue to overcsti mate Mio importance of a slendo waist as an aid to beauty. A mechanical piano player also dc serves some credit for nol talking al the time it Isn't playing. Wo lamp by the advertisement that a woman with a full beard Is ap to be neglected a good deal. It must pain a baseball player to hi sold for twenty thousand dollars am not got any of the money. Considering the phrases they use a brief probably seems short to law ycrs. Keeping white gloves clean secnn to bo Iho most difficult achievement How do you bet on a doctor wbt has a reputation of curing or killing' ' Economy should always stop shor of writing on both sides of the paper A hypocrite usually overestimate ! the number of people ho is fooling. Christening the first baby is usu ally a greater ceremony than the fiftl one gels. A woman rather enjoys tolling whin a great baby her husband is when he Is ill. So few women rcnllzo the hit thej can makei by letting the man do the talking. It doesn't do much good to advor tlse for a lost reputation. It is hard for a cheap pronograpl to deny it. If a man isn't kicking about taxes It's rent ; no one HCCIIIO to be UtlHfll'd. When a rich murdcri-r sots out on mil , that also helps to swell the so- Inllst parly. AlwiiyB ge-t your work doiio up earl > n the day so that you will bo rond\ 'or company. Logic IH the line of ( nils put up 'or your side of the argument. There Isn't enough honor among lltli'vos to nmko It nonotonous. Some men are saving because of their families won't be- . A lot of people talk about justice when sympathy Is what , they want. Employing a Chinaman in the kllch- -n Is another way to keep your hus band from kissing the cook. A woman Is beginning to age a little when she would rather got a kitchen cabinet than a toilel case. When a corn develops a grouch , it can afford an aching tooth consider able competition accouling to size. While the devil doesn't always de mand pay In advance , InIs the great est little bill collector in ( he business. Very few IIUMI quit smoking , and those who do seldom found libraries with what they save on the transac tion. Considering how awkward and in convenient a side-saddle is. It took the women a long while to outgrow the habit. Elaled as wo are with the success of the Jacobs multiplane , we still prefer for to com < > down a stairway or In an elevator. When the consumer deals directIj with the farmer , ho doesn't always find him so liberal as the high brows intimalo. One of ( hi1 common mistakes pee pie make is to iimminc Mint beenust a man has money he is willing to jar loose of it. Whal kind of a child is a "blue en nmoled child ? " A Kansas City pa per offers a "blue onamok'd child's' bed for sale. Women who want the right of suffrage frago so much should remember that many men don't think it worth the price of poll tax. Everyone imagines ho is somewhat graceful when dancing ; no doubt the dancing elephant at the circus fools that way about it. It is a good idea to cultivate pa Menoo. for yon may want togo fish ing or raise children , but don't prac tice It on nn age-nt. SOUTH DAKOTA AT A GLANCE. All bids submitted for the construc tion of a new high schol building at Dallas were rejected as not sufficient , ly reasonable. New bids are beinj ; advertised for. Representatives from six cities hav ing the commission form of govern ment are in session at Huron , form inn a state organization. A passenger train derailed on the South Dakota Central near Chcstei tied up traffic for two days before the track could bo put in repair. John Ryan , a farmer living neni Watertown , was arrested on n charge of disorderly conduct. The complain Ing witness was his daughter. Negotiations are still under way al Washington , whereby Mio stale ol South Dakota is to secure a big for esl reserve of its. own near Custer. A passenger train on the Northwestern woste-rn line ; was ditched two mile ? north of Piedmont. Several passengers gors were shaken up , but no serious injuries resulted. Membership in tin ; automobile clul recently organized at Watertown h increasing at a rapid rate and prom Ises soon to include practically everj auto owner in Mio city. On visiting the grave of his grand father in Germany. Henry A. Meyer , a Hroklyn millionaire , accidentally got in touch with Mrs. Otto Peemlllei of Yankton , his only remaining rela tive , after a separation of fifty years , In connection with the good roads convention which has been called tc meet at Dead wood next month , agita tion for a cross-stale road from Sioux Falls lo Dendwood has been resumed , It would go \iit Chamberlain and .Mitchell. Five successful Caesarean opera tions have recently been successfully performed at the Sisters' hospital at Hot Springs. According to the government geological - ' logical report the bullion output of the Black Hills mines Mils year ex ceeds liiat of any previous 'year. Spontaneous combustion resulting from heated corn caused a fire which destroyed the farm buildings of P. Gudahl of Oldhnm. The loss was $ ! ! ,000. The extreme cold weather and heavy snowfall has tied up and de layed most of the railway lines of the entire state. Some places are entirely without train service. ( ! ov. Vossoy has appointed Dr. M. R. Hopkins of Aberdeen to the state board of dental examiners to take the place of Dr. 12. S. O'Neill of Canton , who recently resigned. Some practical Joker sent a letter to Miss Elizabeth Blackburn of Tim ber Lake , just before her marriage to C. C. Lover , in which ho stated Mint Lover wns married to n squaw. Lover succeeded In clearing himself , but the authorities are looking for the joker , who will bo prosecuted If found. /'NJ ' SATURDAY BY .REV.SAMUO.W.PDRVISJIII IDE UNIIASTING , UNFEVEItlSM GOO Text , "Anil Jrsiia snlil. Mixko the iiiua nil flown. " John vl. 10 Oed cures for cnlendnm. No use rlti IIIK nt 2 a. m. to llnd fault with dark ness nnd nsk why the sun ImH not risen. It IH not time. Though all men should clamor nnd complain , Iho sun will not rise until the appointed time. . There's nu exne't second for that ovcnt. Astronomers mny cnlctilnto It for this date 3000 A. D. ( Joel workn Mint way. The Almighty timed hour , ml mi to nnd second when the Htnr should finsh to the wise men nnd Mm nngels sing to the shepherds. When his Son cnmo thenWIIH divine order "Mine liour Is not yet come. " he said ngnln nnd ngnln. AVhen the work wuti done he nnld. "The hour Is at bund. " The. cnlcndnrlng wns complete. Ono April nftcrnoon In ( Jalllee dl rlnlty nnd humanity Blood face to fnce. A mighty mlrncle wnt ) ncnr irivo thousand pe-ople were going lo bo fed from n hul's inncli basket , Thore'H great confusion , danger of nn awful pnnle ; . Cossack knouts Ix-at back ltnn slnn pcnsnnUi nt the cznr'H celebration , yet 200 were trampled to death. Brit ish bayonets pierced famine crazed .suf fcrcrs In Indln before relief corn cotilrt be distributed. Christ calls n hnlt No tumult , with the throng trnmpllnc down the weak. "Make the men sit down. " There's no hurry , no fussing. no fever with the Sou of < ! od. The American Disease , Hurry , justly or unjustly , is onll ' l "omorlcnnllls , " the American dlsonm- . Our climate , dry and overplus wllh o\ ygcn ; competitive system , honor iitul. opportunity beckoning at every street corner , the very American "ntnnw- phere. " breed nervousness , oversoliol- tudc , dyspepsia , promntnre death. The Frenchman shrugs hlsshouldorslaughs. pins n ilower on bis coat. Is elY to the piny. The Ccrninn after dinner slowly llglils his pipe. Fran snys , "A cus tomer Is In the shop. " "Ach. hlinmel. lot him wait ! " John Bull Is rosy chiN-t od , red blooded ; Brother Jonathan thin. I wiry , cadaverous. He must "git thorc J or bust. " "Lawd. Pnrr-vuss. " drawled my English friend as 1 dragged him . through a fierce Jam down the steps of I the subway and the car door was snapped - ' ped In our faces , "Is this the Inwnt train today ? " "No. " 1 clicked ; "there'll be another In a minute. " I can lie.ir his big hearty British laugh yet. Wlu > is setting this pace ? Some in visible malevolent iiitionil ; : spirit driving us i on. The whole ; striiclure of Anier- , lean society is a race ! for the ; prize , I've seen the ranchmen on the plains take blazing branding Irons and burn the mark of ownership on horse and I ' steer. Hurry is taking a fiery brand and putting ils mark on the American - face. Man's Manin For Speed. j There's something In our climate dry and electrical that brings a necrosis "f J activity. We are 80,000,000 charg-d . galvanic batteries. Atlaeh one of ute - . \ to a desk , a pulpit , n pen. and wi > \ ' Hash on till the current Is exhausted | 1 If Micro are thirty porches In a r ' % v , i there will be at least ninety rocking 'chairs , nil isolng furiously , while tin' I1 . oeciipants tell excitedly , possibly 1 ' hrilly , of an ontorlninnienl where they j "nearly died" laughing. On the wi\ : , homo Mio darkness was "Egyptian , " it , I rained "pitchforks , " and thu mud wis : \ "knee deep. " Stand at the ferry , tiny , r.'illrond station , the trolley terminus , i See the crowd surge on or da h > ( ! . lighting going up stairs or down , squirming nnd elbowing to get ibroush I the gateway , AVhat's the hurry ? > 'r > ' one knows. The Niagara goruo N a ] swift .stream , but It bears no vo-.v-ls , of commerce. The nutoKr goeat : i fl'iglltflll clip ill the hope ol UTIIIIIU- somewhere lie doesn't need to u In us small a fragment of lime as the sp > etl laws will allow. He has a dread > ( considered " " To be lias- being "slow. ; i - been' ' Is . "Old ' l disgrace. IWi.1' ) once the prldo of the New York Centntl. bolder of nil express records , now ' draws a milk train nlong thu Hudson. , From Empire Stnte express to milt j train ! Degradation ! That's the spo-tur Mint bnunts our national American life. Yet our nientnl picture of th Fnthor of His Country Is loftily calm. No book or oration on Lincoln would j be complete with the adjective "patient. " Our mightiest general wn 1 the "silent man of ( Jnlrnn. " With our twentieth century eighteen hours to Chicago speed are wo any better tlrir. when Samuel Adams drove from Ios- ! ( on to Philadelphia In nn old Hm- - Mint squeaked with patriotism ? "The Rovnl Road To" It's nn ngo of electricity snapping and crackling. Electricity seeks short circuits. It's Mio day of short storj Dickens , Eliot and Hawthorne are for gotten. Magazines are even abandon Ing Mio serial story. Sermons spok : < must bo twenty minutes ; those print < < must be tabloid , it's Ihe bark of t I' ll vo Inch rapid flro gun rather than ti ! * boom of the thirteen Inch ordminco. Ed ucntlon Is rushed. Degrees are eon ferred Instead of onrnod-"Spnnsh ! at n Glance , " "Business Taught In Ton Lessons. " Colleges offer cross cuts to diplomas. One correspondence school has 200.000 students. The singular thing Is that with Increase of hurrv there Is n decline of faith and attend mice to nlslous ! things. An ago of hurry Is extraordinarily fickle. Hurry U not because of fullness , but of omp- tyuess. Haste , fuss , fever , is the aure mark of human lnferle > rlty. A want ad campaign will get you acquainted with a lot of Dfloplo who want to buy homes and the home you wani to cell would surely ault some of