A
THE NORFOLK WEEKLY NEWS-JOURNAL , FRIDAY , JUNE 2 , 1911. *
The Norfolk Weekly News-Journal
The News , Established 1881.
The Journal , Established 1877.
THE HU8E PUBLISHING COMPANY
W. N. Huso N. A. Huso ,
Preflldont. Secretary.
iSvory Friday. My mall per year , $1.00.
Entered at the postollleo nt Norfolk ,
Nob. , us second class matter.
Teloplioiii's : Editorial Department
No. ± 1. lluslnnHS Olllco and Job Rooms ,
No. 11 22.
H IH almost time for Nat ( Joodwln
to bo married again.
Thirty-fight percent of Mexico's
population nro full blooded Indians.
Looks us If the dove of peace waste
to Bottle down In the cactus country.
The Texas black bird is said to be
nblo to put the English sparrow out of
business.
The world Is growing bettor. Up to
< latc thin season no baseball umpire
hue been mobbed to death.
I'orhaps an appeal to the supreme
court would give President Diaz nix
months in which to dissolve.
AH tons of human hair hnve been
coming In from China , the ravages pf
married life can now ho repaired.
Iowa now owns more nutoa in pro
portion to the population than Now
York. Now where Is the home of the
plutocrats ?
Mr. Tnft visited the Bronx Zoo
while in New York. Can It he that
Toddy's shifted lions have censed to
Hinuso him ?
Ca&tro has been hoard from. He is
on his way to the United States. But
what has become of Walter Wcllman
nnd hl balloons ?
Morse and Walsh have got to stay
In jail. The law's cobweb occasion
ally holds n wasp and hornet along
with the little files.
There Is a water famine In New
York. But so far as heard It Is not
because so many of the Inhabitants
become prohibitionists.
Champ Clark says that the demo
cratic party is on trial. It has been
for the lastllfty years and as a usual
thing It has boon found guilty.
The dangers of sport were again Il
lustrated when an Elgin , 111. , man was
hurt while paring a golf ball. No
one was over hurt paring potatoes.
It IB rumored that n United States
nonator felt enough Interest In his
work to walk up to the capital and
if an extra session is going on.
A furnace trust has boon formed ,
nnd wo fear the poor man will soon
have no moans of heating his house
hut to build a bonfire In the back yard.
At present Colorado has but one
senator , Simon Guggenheim by name.
Ono Is enough. Wo congratulate Col
orado on not having two Guggenhelms.
Any old place that has water scen
ery enough to support n small colony
of bull frogs is urging its claims on
President Taft as the summer capital.
Income tax returns show that 10,300
persons in England have an annual
income of more than $25,000 nearly
$100 per working day. But they don't
work.
Three thousand "short" bushel bask
ets wore burned In New York the
other day. These attacks on vested
interests are getting to be something
terrible.
Buffalo Bill's show train was
wrecked near Lowell , Mass. This
must have carried Col. Cody back in
affectionate remembrance to the Dead'
wood stage.
Georgia Is now the only state in the
union where children under 12 years
of age are allowed to work over sixtj
hours a week. This is a bad iecor < ]
for Georgia.
A Vnssar girl broke all records foi
women by throwing a baseball 20 <
feet but there are no details as tc
whether it went In the direction she
intended it.
It is rumored that one or two Nov
Yorkers visited the new $10,000,000 II
brary the day after it was opened , bu
they had probably just moved In fron
the country.
The steel trust has been forced t <
cut prices , but from the proud em !
iienco of his cart the tin peddler re
quires the usual amount of rags ii
exchange for a flatlron.
Japan Is willing to negotiate an nr
bitrntion treaty , but will our people
lie willing to shut off the only posslbh
opportunity open to our army ofllcen
Tor professional advancement ?
Figures gathered from the dlfforen
state capitals of the country show tha
there are 780,000 automobiles in usi
lu this country. In New York state
ulono there nre over 70,000 registered.
Ono thousand girls In the census
olllgc declined the Ice cream treat
offered by Mrs. John Hays Hammond.
Wo believe this ( o be a unique In
stance in the history of the female BOX.
The lumber trust Is next. It IB our
belief that an industrious young
married couple should be nblo to
start life In a chicken coop without
plastering It all over with mortgages.
As a surplus seems probable In the
United States treasury when the fiscal
ear ends July 1 , we hope congress
mis n chance to blow It In on IIIVOH
Igatlng something , \beforo Reuben's
Jornors gets It for a custom house.
Portugal seems to lie about ready
o get rid of Its now republic after
CBS than a year , but when wo get
he recall hero we shall have a fresh
ct of raBculs every three months.
President Diaz of Mexico is going
o Europe. After being the absolute
ruler of 13,000,000 people , how he
will feel to bo sauced by a Spanish
: abby who is not satisfied with his
'
IP.
The Atchlson Globe man says that
when a popular society gives an civ
ertainment , you must either take
mrt or buy a ticket. Our frequent ox-
icrience has been that one has to do
IQtll.
The Zeppelin airships have had their
Ixth consecutive accident. The time
ms not yet come when we can sent
our children up in the air to keep them
out of the way of the automobiles In
he streets.
Gov. Dlx of New York Is not popu
ar with the tramps. He proposes that
'aims be established where they shal
ill be set to work. If there IB anyone
hlng that the tramp has a horror of it
: s work.
It does not require much argumen
o show the necessity of war when
alking with the builders of warships
manufacturers of powder , shot , rifles
and such Implements of war. They
are quickly convinced.
As the supreme court may take
some 20,000 words to define "reason
able" In the tobacco case , we hope the
spelling class is not required to stay
after school if they can't give it ii
till.
The democrats are not so hot for
free wool as they were. It is one
thing to go on the stump and write
blank checks in favor of the consume
for indefinite amounts , and anothc
thing to sign them after you get into
office.
A jfress dispatch says that the Lus
Itania sailed with 400 saloon passen
gers , the most of them going to the
big coronation celebration in England
The coronation seems to be helping
the saloon business both on land and
nt sea.
Scholars of the public schools at
Cleveland are obliged to spend the
first five minutes of each school day
to the science of odontology. It isn't
a new thing to all of them but it may
be to many. It is simply brushing
their teeth.
Standard Oil may have to pay $3-
700,000 under the new rebating
charges. But the tin T > ox of small
change which they don't bother to
put in the safe nights will pay this lit
tle incidental.
Old books are fetching $50,000
apiece In New York. The man who
buys old land very much older than
the oldest book at a great many dollars
lars less an acre , is getting incompar
ably the best bargain and showing the
most real horse sense.
In , computing the great wealth
which the country has in its growing
crops the secretary of agriculture neg
lects to estimate the dandelion crop ,
which is in flourishing condition all
over the country and promises to ex
ceed any previous crop.
Former Gov. Peunypacker of Penn <
sylvanla is finding Considerable fault
with Gov. Woodrow Wilson of New
Jersey. This simply secures the New
Jersey executive against that woe pro
nounced in the scriptures upon thai
man whom nil men speak well of.
It is not what people eat but what
they digest , that makes them strong
It Is not what they gain but what thej
save , that makes them rich. It if
not what they read but what they re
member that makes them learned. II
It not what they profess but what the >
practice , that makes them righteous.
No one can question that the present
ent examination day for the trusts IE
doing good. But where would tlu
country hnve been , had the democrat !
carried out their plan for forty-six little
tlo sldo show inquiries by the govern
states , all conflicting with each other !
What form Is that safe and sam
Fourth of July celebration to take !
It is time it was being planned. Ii
takes more thought to make this klnc
n success than the old kind when
you merely turned the children loose <
o with fireworks enough to blow them
solves up nnd money to buy more If
hey survive the first lot.
All over our land Memorial day
Bhould ho fittingly observed this year.
t Is something more than n day for
rest and Hports. It Is a day for re-
nemberlng the great service the vet
erans did In welding the nation Into
i compact and effective whole , and it
s a day for honoring the veterans liv
ing no less than the veterans dead.
Loekport , N. Y. bus advertised fern
n municipal export , to administer its
nffnlrs. Lockport bus abolished may
or nnd alderman , has chosen five com
missioners as directors , who In turn
want a business manager. They want
the best ono who can be found , one
who will administer the affairs of the
city upon business lines , and who will
ho responsible to them as a board of
directors.
The autobiographical section of the
new congressional directory is partie
ularly amusing. Several of the con
grcssman emphasize the statement
that they wore born "on a farm. " Ono
says he is married and lives with his
wife and another that his father was
killed In a duel. We fall to flixfc however
over , an instance where ono of them
was horn In jail or whoso father was
hung.
We bestrew the caskets with flowers
ors , make post mortem eulogies and
inscribe elegant epitaphs upon the
tombstones of'dead friends and all
that IB well. But as a rule wo do not
speak enough words of appreciation
while they are alive. One need never
fear in bestowing judicious praise up
on others. Usually there Is plenty
of crlticsin to balance the account and
keep them humble.
In an article by T. Good which ap
peared In Chambers Journal recent
ly It Is claimed tlmt 4,000 British wngo
earners have been killed annually in
each of the five years. Of this number
1,000 were sea-faring men , 1,000 min
ers and 2,000 wcro employed In the
railway service , manufacturing enter
prises and other occupations. There
Is a large amount of room for Improve
ment in the mater of safety devices
for the protection of life in Great Bri
tain as well as In this country.
In order to remove any question of
doubt on the subject , Gov. Woodrow
Wilson of New Jersey has admitted
that he would accept the nomination
for president from the democrats. It
Is understood that Champ Clark and
Judge Harmon are also ready to send
in their acceptance if at any time they
should be called upon to do so. The
patriotism of those gentlemen in be
ing so ready to serve their country
is simply thrilling. Each one of them
should be given a Carnegie medal.
That bright publication , "Life , "
gives the following definition of Phil
anthropy , which probably conies near
er being true than one would at first
thought admit ; Philanthropy is the
art of rebating to the common people
n small percentage of the tribute pre
viously levied upon them under the
tiead of cost of living , price of ne
cessities , etc. , etc. Philanthropy is
practiced by our leading captains of
industry after they have reached that
period of life which bring the realiza
tion that they cannot acquire quite
all the world and that the large slice
already acquired , cannot be cold stro-
aged through sulphuric ages.
When the United States gets to that
place where it will use its rivers teas
as great advantage as do the different
countries of Europe the question of
cheap water rates will be largely set
tled. As an Instance , the river Rhine
now has a permanent channel for a
distance of 355 miles , the depth se
cured varying from 9.8 feet for 11
miles above the outlets , to 4 feet for
84 miles below .Strassburg. In the
Intermediate stretches of the river the
depth is never less than 6. < 5 feet for
79 miles below Mannheim , or 8.2 feet
for 82 miles above Cologne. On this
improved channel , nowhere quite 10
feet nt low water , the commerce In
1908 amounted to fifty- million tons.
ANOTHER MEMORIAL DAY.
Another Memorial day Is at hand ,
and for one more day the people ol
America will pause to pay homage tc
the men who have died for the stare
and stripes.
It Is little that we can do to honoi
those brave souls. All that we can dc
to pay them tribute , is but slight re
membrance for their fight So the
call of the W. R. C. for a large attendance
anco at the services , and for the afternoon
ornoon address , is only n reasonable
request to make of the living , and
ought to have weight.
FIFTY YEARS HAVE PASSED.
This year Memorial day has a dou
bio significance , as it Is the fiftieth an
nlversary of the beginning of the civl
war. Just half a century has passet
since the members of the G. A. R
were fired by the spirit of patriot
ism to offer their lives to pre
serve the union and make this , In fact
a nation. The veterans of today , thos <
gray-haired men , old In years , thougl
still young In spirit were but boys
more youngsters when they answeret
the call of fifty years ago. Somt
wore too youthful to bo taken untl
the pressure to fill the ranks In the
later years led to a practical disregard
of the age limits. They were ut tin
age when ninny mothers fear to allow
rtiolr sons to own n gun for hunting
or to let them play football for fear they
may bo hurt. Yet OB the Spairish war
proved , if trouble Bhould come , the
hoys of the same age would bo first
to respond and the drill Bquuds would
look like an enrollment of boy scouts.
It Is always BO. the choicest of the
countrys youth are the ones who de
fend her In her hour of need.
To honor those men who gave the
best years of their youth and strength
; their country nnd now refuse to
dnilt that they nre gi owing old
ut keep their youthful enthusiasm
nil pnrtlotism In spite of fulling pow-
rs. Is n pleasure as well ns n sacred
uty to every worthy citizen of the
rent republic. It Is not much tlmt we
nn do to show them our appreciation
f their grent service , but let us do
hat In thu right spirit.
All honor to those who gave up their
IVOB for ( heir counry. ( They have
one ( o their reward. We can but
onor their memory and strew ( heir
raves with ( lowers. But It remains
'or us to see that no old soldier who
'ought four our land should have to
vnlt for death to bring his reward.
: . .et us give the reward of honor , dis-
inctlon , affectionate consideration nnd
onstnnt gratitude to those preservers
) f the union who still remain with us.
'hey are fast answering the last roll
all and wo shall not long have the
pportunity to express our gratitude
0 them. Kings , presidents , men dls-
inguished in civil life nnd soldiers
f other wars we shall still have the
pportunity to spe and hear , but the
non who made these United States
1 great nation wjll , thousands of them ,
never see another Memorial day.
A MINIMUN WAGE FOR MINISTERS
Clergymen were urged to form a
nhor union , with the purpose of re
quiring a minimum wage , In a report
o the Ministerial Union of the Amer-
can Unitarian association Monday.
The resolutions offered by the com
mittee were to the effect that $15 a
Sunday and expenses bo the mini
mum payment.
The populnr Impression assumes ,
when a minister nccepts a higher sal
ary on the ground that "tho Lord
called louder , " that he Is dominated
by mercenary ideals inconsistent with
a religion which favors laying up
wealth only In heaven where moth and
dust do not corrupt.
But It hardly seems fair that the
minister's children should have to remain - -
main satisfied with a high school ed-
.icatlon , while the neighbors' young
sters go to college. The minister has
devised no method by which his chil
dren's teeth can be kept from decay-
ng , and they are Just as likely to hnve
appendicitis , operations as those hav-
ng less sanctified surroundings.
How can a normal young man , full
of robust conquering energy , be ex
pected to enter a profession requiring
a costly education , which may not af
ford his family as comfortable sup-
tort as is obtained by the skilled me-
chnnic.
No doubt the folly of sectarian
ism has had much to do with low min-
isterinl snlnries. It is an expensive
hnblt to require ministers to fit your
individual convictions about the cut
of the clerlcnl cent or the proper plnce
to put a comma In the creed.
If a church can not pay a clergy
man enough so he can look his grocer
in the eye and smile , the powers that
be of that denomination should sug
gest that it merge forces with some
other religious organization. Local
ministerial associations might very
properly take this matter up , and put
churches on an unfair list that offer
less than a living wage.
We want the kind of men in our
pulpits who would keep the wheels
running In n mill or who would draw
the clients in a lawyer's office. Lack
of business capacity does not neces.
sarily prove piety.
AROUND TOWN.
The Mexican deputies heard thf
Diaz letter read , and many of them
thought it was a red letter day.
Now you can see how effective
bribes can be. If wo hadn't .been \
tempted , that golf tournament would 1
have had n different ending.
But wo figured it this wny : A
Bogey score can bo made any old
day , but It Isn't every day tha !
George H. B. can be touched for s
twenty.
And speaking of that golf match :
Was it the irony of fate that our firs !
drive should have HEELED the ball'
Getting up at 3:45 : a. m. to see the
circus unload , Isn't what it used to be
but the rising generation has got te
be educated.
That's ono way W. M. R. got his
education , nnd now he's holding dowr
a big job in Omaha.
He got It under difficulties , though
His father nnd mother were so oppos
ed to being nroused nt thnt early hour
oven though their son's education was
nt stnke , thnt the only wny to got W
M. R. up In time to see the trnliif
como in , was to tie a string around hit
toe , let the string hang out the win
dow nnd , nt the appointed time , wnH
up under his window and give UK
string n jerk.
But with all the getting up early f
fellow can do , there's ono thing ahoui
a circus that's never satisfying : Ir
thirty or forty years of consistent niu
persistent effort , never yet have we
been nblo to get a glimpse of the sldi
show frcoks In citizens clothes , going
to or coming from the show grounds.
Hours of standing alongside the train ,
patiently waiting for the living skele
ton nnd the hcnrded lady and the wild
man of Borneo nnd the midget to como
out of the train and walk through ( no
streets to the show ground , have been
fruitless. Years of patient waiting ,
one might say. And to this day wo
can't llguio out how they get the
freaks hack and forth without being
seen , unless they lock 'em up In Home
of those wagons with animals painted
on the outside.
Hero's another thing about n circus
wo never could figure out : Why Is It
that the circus gives comps to n news
paper for the main show , but fails
to remember the pi ess on the best
pait of the attraction the sldo show ?
Also : Why do people over buy pic
tures of the freakB In the sldo show ?
Also : Why docs anybody that has
ever seen ono "concert , the after-show ,
the funniest part of the circus , " allow
himself to gel Ktung the same way the
next tlmo he gifts ?
With this thought In mind , we're on
our way to the ticket wagon.
P. S. Will let you know whether
wo got roped In on the concert , or not.
The o. f. napkin ring and red nnd
white tnble cloth have been found.
"You will find them on my landlady's
tnble , " writes E. O.
But what's become of the old fash
loned castor that ornamented the old
fashioned red nnd white tnble cloth ,
between monls ? Now there's ono that
WILL stump you.
What's become of the old fashioned
pastime of horseback riding , where
the belle wore a riding hnbit nnd used
a sidesaddle , and her escort wore tan
colored boots that reached up to his
knees ? Ho hasn't been soon In Nor
folk for twenty years.
And what's become of the old fash
ioned youthful bnsebnll nine that
made n trip to Stanton two or three
times a summer , in a lumber wagon ,
and ate dinner with various members
of the Stanton antagonists ? The con
founded Improved train service has
spoiled all that.
And speaking of those dinners , the
very best beefsteak that anybody ever
did eat , was served at one of those
baseball dinners at Stanton some
twenty years ago at the house that
stands on a triangular lot in the east
end of town , just south of the railroad
track.
And what HAS become of the old
fashioned man In Norfolk who used
to own and sometimes wear a plug
hat ? In the days of sugar factory
boom , plug hats were as common on
Norfolk avenue on special occasions ,
as Panama hats are today.
And then , again , what's become of
the old fashioned town herd of cows
thnt used to be driven poll mell
through the main street , on Its way to
pasture , running wild over your lawn
and cutting deep footprints into the
bluegrass ? Anybody herd ?
We didn't stay for the concert.
Why is it that it always rains on
Sunday. But then Col. Bogey. can
wait , if the rain does the pastures
any good.
What's become of the o. f. ringmas
ter at the circus , with a swallow-tall
coat and'a long whip ?
The circus lemonade used to be just
"Ice cold lemo. " Now it's "as cold
as Greenland's Icy mountains. " We
refer to Doc Cook as to just precisely
how chilly that would be.
With the traveling men behind the
movement , Norfolk WILL HAVE 10-
000 people by 1915. And that's no pie
dream , either.
July 4 Is the next one.
That auto race delivered the goods
promised by the press agent. Those
85,000 people would have been terribly
disappointed if somebody hadn't been
killed.
Every house fly Is said to carry
around 1,250,000 germs of disease ,
etc. That's a nice thing to have drop
into your cup of coffee Isn't It ? Then
swat 'em.
Taft has determined to continue
Beverly as the summer capital. Too
bad he didn't know about Norfolk be
fore he made up his mind.
What's become of the o. f. dried
raspberry pie , with the juice running
out all over the crust ?
ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS.
All boys are opposed to corporal
punishment.
To know yourself thoroughly Is n
great asset.
A good time nearly always costs
more than It Is worth.
Having things hit you is the only
way you can learn to avoid them.
So many of us want the principal
part of the fair play on the other side.
Besides being disagreeable , it seems
so useless to haul coal In hot weather.
An Atchlson girl uses almost as
much powder as a humpty dumpty
clown.
A number of vague notions Infest
the minds of people , but a society
girl's Idea of hard work probably la
further from the real thing than most
of the others.
Considering the size of their stock ,
some men devote too much time to
Invoicing ,
Isn't It true thnt fishing was always
better the day before you arrived at
the lake ?
If more than three men agree on n
movement they claim the -whole town
IB behind it.
It ( hero IB one child In the fnmllj ,
it can boss its pnrcnts , but two chll
dren can't do it.
If you find It necessary to prove
your honesty don't depend on your un
supported woid.
A stray dog Is usually willing to
sacrifice a good deal of his liberty foi
something to eat.
Looks don't always count ; ( hero IB
the strawberry from the south thnt
looks like the real thing.
It Is difficult to Induce a man to
lend a Better Life by telling him how
much better his neighbor Is.
A man who thinks ho is smart
enough to be his own lawyer should
try hard to keep out of trouble.
Did anyone ever hnve mumps st.
severely that other people didn't re
gard the misfortune ns n joke ?
Mighty few men are built to wear
a sweater coat nnd make it seem a
thing of beauty nnd a Joy forever.
And to make It worse , the grouch
believes he b.enrs n grent burden , In
stead of adding to those of others.
A man hides his mistakes under
a bushel ; he would need a much
larger receptacle to cover them up.
Boys learn early to hate the trusts ,
and derive n lot of fun throwing rocks
at the insulators of a telegraph pole.
When you put over a good ono don't
lose the advantage you have gained
by talking too much about your vic
tory.
"If you don't squib me in connec
tion with it , " said a Missourinn to a
reporter today , "I can give you nn
tern. "
Pianos must have a good deal of
patience , considering how they are
tiammored and how seldom they are
tuned.
A hey hasn't control of his own
name , but ho sees to it that no
lilfalutln appelation is attached to his
( log .
Why does a woman , when she
thinks she has literary ability , feel
thnt she would make a good hand on
a newspaper ?
Tell a woman that another woman
dresses well , and the listening dame
will say. "She ought to , " in a wny thnt
means n good deal.
If a girl makes a specialty of wearIng -
Ing ns many rings as she can get on
lier fingers , she should also keep her
hands clean as a side line.
People who stay at home most of
the time , usually give a traveling man
credit for having a much more joyful
time than he ever has.
As n general rule , a sign painter's
license seems to allow as many liber
ties with orthography as n poet takes
with facts and grammar.
Flies carry around so many gernib
thnt the cook should make sure these
little insects are well done before
serving them with the soup.
Beyond the assistance offered b >
the sugar trust and the Jersey cow
efforts to improve the strawberry
haven't amounted to much.
If you inherited anything worth
while , it should keep you so busy yoi
won't hnve much time to devote to
bragging on your nncestors.
Every town thnt isn't that large
hopes some day to acquire sufficient
industries to warrant complaining
about the smoke nuisance.
The word progresses slowly , to be
sure , but fewer young men than for
mcrly feel called upon to prove to
, the world that they can grow a nious
tache.
Fathers may bo divided into two
classes : Those who think baseball is
foolishness , and those who believe
their sons should bo playing In the
major leagues.
Our notion of the most worthless
son Is one who will spring the "poo
old mother" gag to keep him out o
Jail after he has done something tha
should put him in.
While women will tell you they are
firm believers In marrying for love
you will observe that they say , of a
bride who has a rich husband , tha
she has "done well. "
Judge Johnson recently read tha
fifty-seven unmarried people comml
suicide to every forty-three mnrrlec
people. Which may bo taken as proo
that married people lose their nerve
Probably the great race of cows
would have been spared the ignom
iny of having ono of their numbe
charged with starting the Chicago
Hro If cigarette smoking had beei
more prevalent nt the time.
While consigning your enemies to
boiling oil might bo n sntisfnctory
revenge , boiling water might serve
the same purpose , nt the same time
offering no encouragement to that
unduly restraining corporation , the
Standard Oil company.
A classified advertisement plus
some persistence sells your property.
f \
REvSAMUEiWiPuRmD.D.
THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN.
Trxt , "They Hint Imvo turned the wnrM
upside ilown " Acts xvll , C.
Sometimes ( ho devil unwittingly
tolls the ( ruth. Thin la one of tlu >
( lines. Thi crowd run yelling ( ho ac
cusation through ( ho streets of Then-
Hiilonlca. Hut It was sin , not I'nul ,
( hut linil turned the world upside
down. Ho was turning It right sldo
up. It's according to yonr point of
view. The Chinese begin ( o road ut
the end of ( ho line and a ( ( ho Imttnin
of the page. The bat hniiRs upside
down nnd huiKhs nt n topsy turvy
world. The Bkeptlc stnnds on his head
Intellectually nnd snys , "Sco me hold
up the vorlrtl" The world HmlloH ,
but the akcptlc Rtlll nrguea. Ilemom-
lier the "House Upside Down" on the
tnldwny at the Buffalo Pan-American
exposition ? Carpets , I-URH , chairs , ta
bles , dishes , worn on the colling. Wall
paper and pictures on the wall were
upside down. Finally you Rot con-
tlined and you couldn't tell whether
'twas the IIOUHO or you that was up-
wide down. You felt that you were
walking , fly-like , head down from the
celling.
The truth Is this Is a topsy turvy
world. One man saving to build n
house , another selling below cost.
One's fighting for Justice , another flee
ing from It. One man spending mon
ey for ( lowers for a woman , his neigh
bor spending money for a divorce One
man's at the drug store for medicine
( o prolong life ; another's buying poi
son to end his. Thousands conic Into
the world upside down and always
continue HO. They are human crabs-
over Rolng backward. Society is life
upside down. The world started right ,
but Satan , Archimedes-like , Rot his
lever under It and with sin turned it
upside down. 1'aradlso turned to per
dition , heaven to hell. Christ conies
and with the lever of the cross turns
it right side up. Life Is a house. With
many It is upside down. Heredity , en
vironment , education , Indigestion , false
standards , have put us wrong. Things
arc distorted , mispluced , untrue.
Ground Floor.
Kitchen's on this floor. To get
along with a man "feed the brute ! "
says the cynical woman. Food's fuel.
Fasting's not always a duty. Fenst-
ing's not always a sin. Sometimes
fasting's a sin and feasting a duty.
John fasted Jesus feasted. Girls at
school arc taught calculus , but not
cooking. In the coal regions of my
state they say "strikes are caused by
bad cooking. " In n lumber camp where
men saw wood they get dinner with a
can opener and a coffeepot. Brides had
better not cook that way If the wood of
the desk is the only lumber their hus
bands see. Many a kitchen's upside
down. Smile in the dining room. Ask
n blesslngrbut don't cant There's n
kind of piety that's a disease of the
liver. No gossip , no snarling , nt your
tnble. A hearty laugh may do as
much good as Oolong or Java , tender
loin or cutlet. Parlor's on this floor.
It's artificial , superficial and shallow.
In it we act like puppets and dress
like dolls. Secretly we bate the par
lor. We keep it dark , stiff and formal.
"Children , " calls mother , "keep out of
the parlor. You'll brenk somethlng ! "
Sleeping rooms are on this fioor.
Third of our lives nre passed there.
When you reach threescore nnd ten
you'll have spent nearly twenty-five
years there. Babyhood nnd childhood
mean much sleep. "Bedroorns upside
down ? " Sometimes. Either barren
as a barn or formal na n funernl. Man
has to figure out those pink log pil
lows to1 be slept on or used as a bar
ricade for the door ? Is the crazy quilt
a coverlet or an ornament ? Best sleep
I ever had was when as a college boy
I went preaching in the country. Big ,
well ventilated room , whitewashed
walls. After I had said "Now I lay
me" n dear old fashioned , motherly
woman came to tuck me In bed , put
hot bricks to my feet and prayed that
God would bless the poor preacher
boy. That night I slept the sleep of
childhood. On this floor In the front'
room with the big bay window Is the
sitting room no , living room , I mean.
That's the room. Here's where you
are yourself , where you play with the
children , where you read the Bible-
and have family prayers. Make th
living room of life right !
The Attic.
"Except ye become converted and na
little children , " said Christ. Remem
ber that third story attic room In your
old Lome ? Children multiplied. Trun
dle beds were added. Then wo wore
packed to bed up In the attic under the
caves. There we heard the pattering
rain upon the roof. There wo saw the 4
twinkling of the atari at night They 4I I
wove themselves Into poetry anfl
dreams. There in the cedar cbost was
grandmother's wedding dress. She was
but sixteen then. Yonder hung grand
father's Revolutionary mrord. How It
used to gleam In the moonlight I That
was the place for dreams I The fra
grance of the lilacs and roses came In
the little attic windows. Not spider
webs did our child eyes nee , but fresco
of angels. With the passing of the
attic third floor went our dreams and
visions. From our soul's top floor we
can see across the river of death to the
glowing domes and towers of the shin-
Wig city beyond. In the house right
Bide up the lower windows look ont on
the ash pile and household garbage
can. The upper windows see
Sweet fields beyond the uwelllag flood
Bland dressed In living cre n.
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