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TUB JN OH FOLK' V , 1 1 ( M VK1VYS JOU1.KAL . FRIDAY DECEMBER 11 1 08
The Norfolk Weekly > 'ews-Journal
I'ho News , r tabllshed 1881.
Tlio Jouriial.JOHtabllHhod 1877.
THE HU8E PUDLISmNO COMPANY.
"
\V. N. HIIHO , N. A. Huso.
President. Heerotary.
Kvory Friday , lly niall IHT year. II.BO.
Entered at tliu postulllcu lit Norfolk ,
Nt'll. . IIH second rlaSH matter. _
TolopTwiius : " railTorTaV Department
No. 22. Business Office and .lolt UOOIIIH
No. II 22.
Divorces In America have doubled
nliicn 188U.
The Iliitlcn rovolutlon scheduled for
last month WUH delayed by hunvy
rains ,
December arrived In dignity and
might and very promptly put an end
to all that Indian summer foollHbnuHB.
Francis Joseph ascended the throne
of Austria Hungary sixty years ago
and la still doing business at the old
bland.
San Francisco Is still ' furnishing
sensations. The chief of police has
suicided Just to keep up the city's
reputation.
And now a Chicago professor says
that kissing Is to ho relegated to the
lower classes In the future. Pity the
poor rich man !
The man who gives the world a
square deal generally gets pain In
kind while the one who docs not , soon
er or later gets the worst of It.
With uncertain eggs retailing at
three cents apiece and the hens on
their midwinter strike , the outlook for
Christmas cake Is a gloomy one.
It cost $1,200,000 to carry on the
campaign which elected Mr. Taft. It
was quite a sum of money but then the
people have got an extra large presi
dent.
A trade dollar bearing the date
1884 , recently sold for $284. Less than
half a dozen were struck off that year
hence their unusual value.
Rockefeller and Archbold are earn
ing their $1.50 per day by relating re
miniscences some of which are prov
ing well worth the"money to the pee
ple.
An excellent plan lias been proposed
In New York to establish farm colonies
for habitual tramps and vagrants.
Labor will be compulsory , but not
cruel or monotonous.
The forestry commission Is begging
that the people who wish to help along
the preservation of what forests re
main , hang up their stockings this
year and spare the young spruces.
James , T. Hill predicts a steady Im
provement In business conditions for
the next few years but no boom. Those
who have experienced booms hope the
eagaclous railroad president Is right.
Charles Brodio Patterson , special
student of longevity , says It Is pos
sible for a man to live forever. With
out taking Issue on that point wilh the
learned specialist , we would like to
Inquire if he can run for the presi
dency as long as that ?
If it takes two terms in the presi
dential chair to fit a man who had
done no small amount of literary work
before , to become an editor , what an
amount of natural genius most men
who get there without this distinguish
ing training must have.
Dr. Mltchonikoff is strenuously ex
perimenting on a dope to prevent the
ravages of old age the elixir of youth
which has been earnestly sought for
by each succeeding generation. If the
doctor survives his own treatment the
world may then take some stock In It.
Mr. Archbold has explained very
fully and kindly that the Standard
Oil company put Its competitors out of
business for their own good. Isn't
It strange how slow these men have
been to appreciate the disinterested
beneficence of this great corporation ?
Every business man In Norfolk will
feel more comfortable with the lire
Inspection , which has just been un
dertaken , finished. An ounce of pre
vention Is .vorth a pound of cure and
such prevention as this ought to place
Norfolk In hotter condition than ever
before to resist the slings and arrows
of outrageous names.
It begins to look like Holt county
Democrats have been laboring In vain
for Democratic majorities in this
county the past dozen years. Of the
many and varied applicants for a
state job under the Democratic governor -
ernor no announcement has appeared
yet of a Holt county man annexing n
elate salary. O'Neill Frontier. .
How about Art Mullen ?
Northern Nebraska and southern
South Dakota have every reason to
make this one of the most Joyful
Christmas seasons yet experienced.
Crops have been good , prices for the
products of this region are high and
prosperity Is general. This section
has money In the bank and there's
reason for a merry holiday season.
very best Hellers on record , The pro
ceeds of the sclo go to charity , which
with the fact that the author Is Queen ,
accounts for the great demand for tlir
work. The book consists mainly (
reproductions of photographs tal'uii
by her majesty , many of which
inomherH of the royal family.
Mr. Achhold says that the Standard
Oil company put Its competitors out
of business for their own good.
Strange that some mi'ii haven't heard
yet that the theory of "Tho dlvlno
rl' ht of kings" was exploded a long ,
long time ago.
Mrs. Frank Gould "shuns publicity"
In her divorce case. In this Mrs. Gould
has tl-e company of a vast number of
"undesirable citizens" of all classes ,
When people do that which will not
bear the light of day they always
avoid publicity.
With the acreage of winter wheat
considerably lessened , and the condi
tion averaging not high , there are
prospects that all of the farmers of
northern Nebraska and southern South
Dakota who have planted winter
wheat will make a good profit next
summer.
And now some old pessimist Is tryIng -
Ing to establish the Idea that Paul
Uovero and his famous ride were
merely creatures of the Imagination.
If he had been with Paul on that mem
orable night , he would have been con
duced that he was a lively myth. That
"midnight ride of Paul Revere" will
remain a fixed star In United States
history long after these prying investi
gators are dead and gone.
The suggestion is made that every
ox-president be retired as commander-
In-chief of the army and navy. This
Is a position which he occupies dur
ing his official career. It Is not active ,
unless war should occur , but would
carry with It an ample salary and a
dignified position. Whatever is done
should he with a view of maintaining
the dignity of the presidential office
and the Independence of the individual.
To try to dodge the issue la out of
the question. Socialism bns got to
be faced In America as II ba.s been In
England. So far as ( I teeks to per
vade society , < / ( / ) a nunno of univer
sal brotherho/iiS / , l/ii / ; spirit of social
ism meets a fiiiM cy and almost uni
versal response. But to Its method
of accomplishing this the abolition
of Industry based upon profits as the
reward of service , there can be no
such general response.
The Pacific peace pact between
Japan and the United States which
agrees upon free and peaceful com
mercial development in ihe Pacific , is
a very sensible agreement. There Is
no earthly reason why there should be
war between the United States and
Japan or any other country and the
signing of this agreement , even if it ! s
informal , will go a long way toward
settling war as a possible issue Into
the remote background.
The recent mine disaster at Marrl-
ana , Pa. , in which every man in the
mine was killed , impresses the coun
try once more with terrible emphasis
that In some way these men who work
In the depths of the earth ought to
be protected from such cruel deaths.
Instead of less lives being lost each
year than the preceding one , the death
rate seems to be on the Increase.
Cannot American scientists and inven
tors do something to save the unfor
tunate miners ?
England and Russia have recently
come to an agreement concerning Per
sla which gives Russia the northern
third as her sphere of Influence , while
British Influence Is to be supreme
In the southeastern fourth. The shah
Is as changeable as the weather vane.
One day he promises his people a
constitutional government and the
next day he decides to remain "king ol
kings. " as he styles himself. Prob
ably England and Russia will eventu
ally administer Persia much as France
and England did Egypt before the
Arab's rebellion.
Lord Roberts , England's greatesl
soldier , frankly expresses the feai
that when the psychological moment
arrives , Germany may accomplish
what Napoleon failed to do success
fully Invade British domain. Voi
Moltko , Germany's greatest tactician
once remarked that he know twentj
ways of landing an army into England
but not one of getting it out. Thai
condition still remains true. Lore :
Roberts' warning may stir up more
military activity , but it will not alarn :
the Britons who have depended or
their great navy over since It repulsed
the Spanish Armada and became mis
tress of the sea.
The administration has decided upor
a further extension of the civil ser
vice reform. The fourth class post
masters of the more populous scctlor
of the country extending north of the
Ohio and east of the Mississippi wll !
be affected by the new ruling. The
present system lays upon the congress
men of each district the responsibility
at Ions for those who wish to qualify ,
the aim Is to Insure the employment
of only such persons as are qualified
to give the government good service.
The plan has not yet been tested but
as It has worked satisfactorily In other
departments It Is probable that It will
In this.
A wealthy New York woman , who
conceals her name , has recently built
In New York a handsome five story
lire proof hotel at a cost of $150,000.
It Is known as the Harlem Boys ho
tel , and Is designed to meet the needs
of hoys without natural protectors.
It Isn't a free hoarding house , although
the youthful patrons do get more for
their money than they could think of
gettlni ; elsewhere. Board , lodging ,
washing , Ironing and baths for $1.05
nor week how does that strike yon ?
It Is a novel benevolence , but wisely
administered has wonderful possibili
ties for the uplifting of these home
less hoys , and what class of unfortun
ates needs a helping hand more than
the homeless boy ?
That portion of Texas lying west
of the Pecos river and between New
Mexico and the Rio Grande Is shut off
from the rest of the Lone Star state
by mountain ranges and arid plateaus ,
Feeling their Isolation the people ol
this portion of the state which conv
prises an area somewhat larger than
Pennsylvania are seeking admittance
Into the union as a separate state
All that Is necessary to accomplish ,
their desire Is to gain the consent ol
the whole people of Texas. This , how
ever , they are not likely to do as the
Texans are inordinately proud of the
dimensions of their great state which
rivals France In size. If France car
support a population of 45,000,000 ,
the Texans think their state can do as
well. Within a generation the state
expects to cast more electoral votes
than New York does now. If Texas
desires to retain her territory , sin
must endeavor to keep her out lyliif
territory pacified and In touch with
the rest of the state. Since the state
capitol Is as far from the leading cltj
of the Trans-Pecos country , as Minne
apolls is from St. Louis , this Is noi
such a simple task as It sounds.
JUDGE SULLIVAN'S RESIGNATION
The secret behind the reslgnatioi
of Judge Sullivan from the supreme
court of Nebraska two days after h <
had been appointed to the place bj
Governor Sheldon , is generally agroec
to have been the probable fact tha
the Democrats have determined tt
contest the legality of all four o :
Governor Sheldon's appointments.
The program as It has been urgei
by W. H. Thompson and others is for
the legislature to Ignore the canvass
made by the state canvassing board
and the proclamation and subsequent
appointments by the governor , but to
proceed to make the canvass Itself on
the ground that until the canvass is
made by the legislature nobody knows
whether the amendments creating
two new Judges was carried. Then
after declaring the result Governor
Shallenberger will Issue his proclama
tion and make his appointments.
It Is pointed out , however , that If
Sheldon has any doubts about the ap
pointments he lias just made being
legal , he can still circumvent the Dem-
ocratlc plan , since the newly elected
governor cannot make act until af
ter the legislature has canvassed
the vote , and In the Interim between
that announcement and the Inaugu
ration he could re-enact what he has
done rei-vntly. Governor Sheldon ,
however proposes to stand by his
actlop. uf Monday , believing it to bo
THE WORLD'S INTERVIEW.
the action of the New York World
( u making the amende honorable to
the German emperor for publishing a
fictitious Interview , purporting to be
the same as that which was to have
appeared , ln the Century magazine
shows what conscientious responsl-
hlllty rests with the press of the
country In general , and how very care
fully a newspaper must constantly been
on its guard lest it be "stung. "
The Century magazine was to have
printed an Interview with the kaiser
When it became evident to the German -
man ruler that publication of the in
terview would cause trouble he re
quested the Century to supress it
This was done at the expense of get
ting out an entirely new edition ol
the magazine , destroying the original
Naturally every New York newspapei
was hard after a hint as to what the
interview contained. One night the
World got a story that seemed to be
authentic. It was sent to the mar
who wrote the original magazine interview
torview and ho read the proofs ; with
out making any comment on the
proofs , other than to correct them , he
gave the World every reason to be
Hove that the story was authentic
The story came at a very late hour
when the owner and editor of the
paper were asleep. It was published
and later proved to bo Without founda
tlon. The World thereupon cabled the
kaiser , apologizing for its mistake , and
printed an editorial In which It ex
pressed Its regrets in the matter.
This required moral courage. And
this Incident , compared with the ac
bo an authentic Interview , but never
offered any sort of an apology when
the falsity of their story was proved.
THE PRESIDENT'S ENCOUNTER.
Two newspaper men have Just been
added to the Annaiilas club by Presi
dent Roosevelt. Dclavan Smith , pub
lisher of the Indianapolis News , and
William M. Luffun of the New Yoik
Sun , are the latest persons to. Incur
the chief executive's wrath. Both are
referred to In terms even more burn
ing than the "undesirable citizen"
phase. "Abominable slander and
falsehood , " "lies , " and "mendacity for
hire" are some of the choicer expres
sions.
The prcBldent wrote his letter to
William Dudley Foulke of Indiana.
Mr. Foulke is the same man to whom
the president wrote some time ago
declaring that federal patronage was
not being used to further the Taft
campaign.
Foulke had written the president enclosing -
closing a clipping from the Indiana-
polls News as follows :
The campaign Is over and the people
ple will have to vote tomorrow with
out any official knowledge concerning
the Panama canal deal. It has been
charged that the United States bough !
from American citizens for $40,000,000
property that cost those citizens enl >
$12,000,000. Mr. Taft was sccretarj
of war at the time the negotiation
was closed.
There Is no doubt the government
paid $40,000,000 for the property. Bui
who got the money ? Wo are not tr
know. The administration and Mr
Taft do not think it right that the pee
pie should know. The president's
brother-in-law is Involved in the
scandal , but he ha < 5 nothing to say
The candidate's brother has beei
charged with being a member of the
syndicate. He has , It Is true , denlei
It. But he refuses to appeal to the
evidence , all of which is In the pos
session of the administration am
wholly Inaccessible to outsiders.
For weeks this scandal has been be
fore the people. The records are In
Washington and they arc public
records. But the people arc not te
see them till after election , If then
The president denies the charges ol
graft and then flays the two editors
for things that their papers said. The
two editors briefly replied , Laffan tie
cllnlng to enter Into a controvers >
with the president because he said
Roosevelt had too light regard foi
truth in a controversy. Smith said
the trouble with Roosevelt was thai
that paper declined to burn incense
under the nostrils of a man greedy foi
Incense fumes.
The language used by the presidenl
is pretty strong. It seems regrettable
that ho should have thought sucl :
words essential to maintain his stand
ing among the people of this country
As a general proposition the Amerl
can people hold the view that the
dignity of the presidency should be
maintained at highest possible level
and that bitter personal encounters
between the president and private
citizens , in which the president takes
the aggressive and resorts to bitter
epithets , should come only as an ex
treme measure. A president can
hardly take the time to fly Into a
rage and enter the public prints every
time his adminstration is criticised.
If the criticism be untrue , It will die
of Its own weight and the papers In
question in this instance were hardly
entitled to the compliment of so much
attention from the White House.
The people of the country would
have taken no stock In the charge of
graft In the Panama purchase , even
without these attacks. The middle
west did not even realize that these
charges were being made until the
president brought the matter to their
attention. The public has too much
faith in Roosevelt's integrity to make
such personal attacks from the White
House at all necessary in refuting
these charges.
THE PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE.
President Roosevelt's ' message , de
livered to the new session of the Six
tieth congress at noon Tuesday , will
be read with Interest over the entire
nation , as the Roosevelt messages al
ways are.
The president points out at the be
ginning the fact that the nation Is
prosperous a fact which ougnt to
mean much to all citizens.
In regard to railroad control , he
reiterates his view a view which has
logic to back It that the federal gov
ernment must control all transporta
tion lines , both Interstate and Intrastate -
state , If control anr regulation are to
bo effective ,
. The president has deemed it wise at
this time to call down those dema
gogues who are seeking to ride Into
public favor ( and public olllce ) by the
mere act of attempting to discredit and
destroy all forms of business. The
demagogue , ho says , Is a dangerous
foe to society.
The president does not accept the
socialistic theory that the government
should own the tools of production ,
but ho sees the advantage of having
machinery , etc. , owned as much aa
possible by the worker. In the case
| of farmers this merely means that the
I farmer should own his own land , this
1 being a moro desirable condition than
that In which the land Is owned by
absentee landlords.
1 The postal savings bank , favored In
the Republican national platform , and
ilonnrv theory of a
iroved by the government , bo argues.
The point is a good one that cor-
lorato finances should be BO super-
vlsc'd by the government that the or-
Unary citizen may Intelligently and
safely Invest his money In corporate
stocks. As it Is at present the aver-
ivo man Is fearful of putting his sav
ings into certain Industrial stocks and
lionds which ought to bo perfectly
safe and the- value of which should bo
known to every reader In the land. If
this wore the condition , corporatloiiM
would not experience the dlllleulty In
getting cash which they mimelines !
meet.
More1 stringent legislation along the
employers' liability line Is urged.
A good word In the matter of salary
Is put In for employees of the govern
ment. Half holidays during the sum
mer should bo granted to government
employees , ho says.
Defense of the courts Is made and
higher salaries are asked. The salaries
paid our judiciary are all too meager.
A rap is taken at Samuel Gompers.
Forest preservation is deservedly
given attention.
Navigated rivers us well as those
that are navigable , are spoken for.
Action on Inland waterways at this
session Is urged.
Parcels post IB urged , along
with Postmaster General Meyer's
theory , and the president makes an at
tempt to convince the country store
keeper that his Interestas well as those
of the farmer , will be best served by
the establishment of a limited parcels
post. Those opposed to this will argue
that this would bo but the entering
wedge.
The public health is a matter worthy
of attention , In the president's view.
The immediate admission of Now
Mexico and Arizona as states Is urged ,
Progress on the Panama canal Is
entirely satisfactory , the president
says.
says.Real
Real progress Is being made toward
self government in the Philippines , the
message says.
Japan treated the fleet well and re
ceives special recognition for the wel
come In this message.
A new system of promotion in the
army is urged as advisable.
Probably one of the most important
features of the message Is that part
in which the president urges a re
vision of the anti-trust laws so as to
permit the formation of those combin
ations which would work for the pub
lic benefit.
All in all the message is more con
structive and less passionate than
those sent by the president yast year ,
At the same time it rings witli the
same Roosevelt force that character
ized all of those.
AROUND TOWN.
Do your Christmas shopping while
the moon stays bright.
Little girls can never get killed on
the football field , when they grow up ,
anyway.
If you don't want one of the prizes
for yourself , give your votes to some
friend. It costs nothing to vote.
One man hit another on the nose at
Spencer and broke that feature of the
victim's facial make-up. By the time
the story got to Norfolk It was told
that the man had shot his daughter
and wife and tried to commit suicide.
John Williams , who formerly lived
at Alnsworth , has spoiled the solution
of a mystery and turned everything
upside down again. Some time ago a
man was found near Valentine. He
had been murdered and the body
thrown Into the Nlobrara river. Mrs.
Williams of Alnsworth went up to Val
entine aim identified the body by cer
tain marks that she knew positively
marked her son. She was making
every preparation to have the body
brought to Alnsworth and burled when
son John wrote her a letter denying
the allegations and proving an alibi.
So the whole affair Is In the air again.
ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS.
A fool soon finds out that he can
make a big noise.
Women talk too much about mar
riage to suit the men.
In bumming around , a man strikes
many a trail that ho recognizes.
When a husband is mean , patience
in his wife Is never regarded by any
of the neighbors as a virtue.
Wo confess that we are often unable
to distinguish between genius and In
sanity.
You can't make a man mad by
making fun of his 'doctor. Men are
given to abusing their doctors , but
women won't stand It.
If a woman makes a cake for a
church provision sale , that means n
gem In her crown , and if she buys It
back , it means another gem , but
where does her husband come in ?
The right person to visit when you
take a vacation Is the landlord of a
hotel , who will charge you regular
rates , and not say afterwards that you
sponged on him.
Brides arc seldom good cooks , but
It la not on record that their poor cook.
Ing over made a man sick ; another
n tnon la linoiiv nt > il
g JOHNNY DUMPER TELLS OF A
*
MH TRICK ON THE WASH WOMAN
Omaha , Nob. . Deo. 5. To the
Editor of The. News : Did you over
road "Pocks Bad Boy ? " 1 found an
old roppy in a Hockund hand store on
sixteenth Ht. last week and I hot It for
fifteen rents. Sumboddy had rote this
vurse on the furst page :
"Road not this book
My youthful friend ,
Or four the gallus
Will bo your end :
For klddlsh kiiHsedness
On the level ,
Pock's Bad Boy will
Raise the devil ! "
Ired It onnyway and llko to a dido
a latlng , but dent you think them
jokes sound bettor in a book than In
reel life ? 1 no If I'd over trlde enny
of them Jokes on my Pa before he
dido he'd a tand me till I'd never
wanted anuther.
After I'd rod It I lent the hook to
the nlte ellevator boy. He reads
" Dlmond Dick's" llbry all nlte be
tween calls and he's getting awful tuf.
I thot mebbe I cud get him wecnd
away from that Dlmond Dick trash and
get him Interested In good lltteraturo
If I wont easy like , so I started by
lending him "Peck's Bad Boy. "
He got to thinking about them Jokes
and yesterday morning be thot he'd
! try one on the scrub woman that cums
every morning at live o'lock to scrub
j the haul-ways before the gestB get up.
Ho sod it always give him a tired feel
ing to look at her ; he liked to see
folks with a plesant look on onct In
a while , and lie was going to have a
circus and liven her up a bit. 1 told
him he'd bettor not give the poor old
woman onny more ( rubble than she
hud. Ho sod that was all rite , lie wild-
out hurt her onny and I foi got about It
i till yesterday morning I was getting
! up early and I hurd a racket out in the
; haul. I went out and found that
scrub woman on the stares with the
mop water running all over her and
a cupple of stove-pipes at the bottom.
She was gronelng and cudent get up.
She sod she thot her back was broke.
She sod sumboddy put them pipes on
the stares and It was dark like and
she never saw them and they rolld out
from under her and the water flue all
over her and she fell half way down
stares.
I rememberd that Pock's bad boy
playd that same joke on his Pa and
Ma and I new at onct the ellevator
boy had did it. But I didont peech
cos I felt that it was partly my felt
for lending him that book.
I helpt the woman up but she cud
ent walk without Icening on me and
she sod it hurt her awful to walk.
I sod I'd call the nlte-clerk and she
sod , "Oh no , don't let him no or he
may get anuther woman to wurk
here. "
So I helpt her down stares , ( they
don't allow scrub wimnien to ride on
the ellevators. ) and when we got to
the side walk I ast her where she llvd
and she sed over a mile away down
towards the river. I sed we cud take
the car pretty neer there and she sed
"Oh no , she cud walk and save car
fare , " but I had sum money and we
got on a car and road within three
blocks of where she lived. People
stared at me In my good clothes help
ing along that poor woman in a faded
dress all sope suds but I did cut care.
She lived In a upstares room of what
uster be a store blldlng and I helpt
her up the steps. She was all shlvver-
ing for it was a cold morning. A little
girl opend the door and sed in a thin
voice , "What's the matter Mama ? "
I ses , "She's all wet and cold , you'd
best bild a big lire. "
The girl whose name's Jinny and
she's ate years old ses , "There alnt
no coal left and Ernie's just gone with
his little wagon to hunt sum along the
A GASOLENE RIDE.
We were eating lunch in a wood afar
While our chauffeur fixed our touring
car :
He pumped a tire and tightened a cam
And loosened a bearing that threat
ened to Jam ,
Then calmly remarked In accents slow
That our gasolene guage was getting
low ,
And , as nearly as he could figure It
down ,
It was twenty miles to the nearest
town.
We packed our baskets In the tonneau ,
And , 'donning our goggles , wo said ,
" ' "
"Let'er go !
Our chauffeur was calm , though fearIng -
Ing much ,
As ho openoj the throttle and shifted
the clutch :
The motor roared with Its motive
force
Of a mile a minute and forty horse
As wo took the road Unit quiet day
With gasolene twenty miles away.
Around a corner and over a bridge ,
Down through a hollow and up on a
ridge ,
SKIrtlng ravines where the brooklets
flow ,
Passing farms where cornfields grow ,
Up and down and around wo flew ,
Over and under , between and through ,
Roads that were sandy and roads of
clay ,
With gasolene fifteen miles away.
A rooster stood In the road and crew ,
What It was that hurt him ho never
know.
An old hen crossed with fifteen chicks ,
When she looked around she had but
I
rail-road. " Ernie's about six or live ,
I think. Then there's Mamie , about
three or fore , and a baby boy.
I ast Jinny where her Pa was and
she sed "llo's In Jail and I hope they'll
Keep him there. "
'twould lake too long to tell you ail
about It hut tliolr father drinks llckor
and he emu home last Monday nlto
and told Jinny to get him sum suppor.
Her ma bad gone to bed with a sick-
hed-ako. She got him all they had ,
sum bred and- potatoes they was ageing
going to have for brekfast and ho sed ,
"That's no supper ! " and ho slapt her
and she fell and hit her fore-bed on
the stove and cut a big gash and when
she cride ho told her to shut up or
he'd glv her sumthlng to cry about.
And ho hunted around and found the
money her ma hud oarnt for scrubbing f !
and he tuck It and wont away to the
saloon and they badont soon him sins.
But they hurd ho got soul to prison
for sixty days for getting cot robbing
*
a box-car over in the yards , and
they're awful glad.
1 wont over to a grocery store and
got too boxes for ton cents and broke
them up and made a fire to got the
woman warnul up and I told her not to
worry about losing her job and I went
and told Uncle Oscar about It and ho
game mo five dollars to help the wo
man with till she got so's she cud
wurk again , and I went and told the
clerk about It and ast him If ho wild-
cut hold her Job for her till she got
better , and he sed ho didont need to ,
there was plenty of scrub-wlmmen
waiting for a job but ho wild this
time.
Then I tuck the five down to the
woman and ast her what she wanted
mo to buy with it and she SOB , "It
you'll just pay the rent with It we'll
get along sum way. The agent was
here yesterday and told me If I did
ont pay him the five dollars that's
due he'd have to put us out Saturday. "
So I wont and paid the rent. They
have to pay live dollars a munth for
just one room and the siding's off and
window pains arc broke out and shift
with rags , but she ses she can't do
onny better.
My , aint it awful to bo poor and haf
to live ! Spcshally In Winter.
A swell looking man and woman was
at the hotel for dinner yesterday In
the dandyest automowbecl you over
saw that'll run seventy-live miles a
hour and the clerk told mo that was
the man that ownd that house whcro
the woman llvd in 'and a hole lot moro
cheep houses for rout , and I sod I
was going to tell him about the wo
man and children and ask him to fix
the lions so the wind wudent blow in
and the clerk ses , "No use , Johnny ,
he'll just refer you to his agent. His
agent's a dubblo-facd lawyer that'll
promise to do everything you ask him
and will never do onnythlng. That's
why he holds bis job , becaws he keeps
expenses so low. You can't get enny
help out of them. The best thing you
can do is to report your case to the
Salvation Army ! "
So I did , and the woman lole mo
they had all and more then they cud
do but they'd mannage to send a helper
or down and see that the family didont
aktually starve.
And I'm going to help too all I can ,
and I wont out on the big bridge and
thru "Peck's Bad Boy" Into the Mis-
sonry. I'll bet he wont play enny
more jokes on poor scrub-wlmmen.
And I 'm a going' to rite to Presi
dent Roosevelt and get him to pass a
law so that If a rich man who owns
poor people's houses wont fix 'em so
the wind and cold can't get in he'll
haf to go and live in 'em himself till
he does.
Yours ,
Johnny Dumper.
As we tore along our murderous way
With gasalene only ten miles away.
We met a man with a span of mules ;
He cried "Let up , you crazy fools ! "
Each donkey stood with her ears
ahead
As If she feared we would strike her
dead ,
But ere they had even time to shy
We tooted our horn and passed them
by.
But we heard behind a receding bray
Witli gasolene only five miles away.
Faster and faster yet we flew ,
Ench valve and connection working
true ,
Each cylinder doing Its level best
To land us In town before taking a
rest :
Our chauffeur watched with eager eye ,
For our fuel supply was running dry ;
The last drop vanished to our dismay
With gasoline more than a mile away.
Have you ever thought- how far
awheel
A ton of rubber and brass and steel
Fitted with every device of man
To minimize friction all he can ,
Hurled at seventy miles an hour
Will carry itself with Its pent-up
power ?
If not , you should have been there
that day
With gasolene nearly a mile away.
Wo scarcely felt the diminished
speed
As our chauffeur steered our ex
hausted steed
Over a road as smooth as a floor
For a distance of fully a mlle or moro :
Wo shed a tear and breathed a sigh
At the tjought of letting the old cat
g..djcj. . . . > , . . , . , . , „ „ . ,