The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19??, July 17, 1903, Page 8, Image 8

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WHEN JONES
HOSE UP
Jxmc > s Martin
( > > l > r < 4jW , try tilt
X. .Ucnurr
= = = = = = = l
had gtrvn hlniKelf away an n
Yanlav the Instant he landed In Kng
land , und he hatl left a broad trail lie
hliul him as he Khnvly traveled nboul
and tlnally tmmght up In a ( own li <
lUilglum. Whunuver ho could Und n
listener , whether on train , Hleamer 01
at Uio dinner table ho begun with the
battle of Lexington nnd brought thu
glorious Yankeu nation down to tin
butUo of Santiago , lie npared no OIIO'H
feelings In telling bin Htory ; but , on thu
contrary , he did not claim any | iarllc <
ular credit fur the Jones family. lie
rnulil Jtmt as well have declared ( hat
General Join's wan In command at
Hunker 11111. but he modestly kept the
family In the bat'Uground.
Then Jones made odloim oonijmrlflomi
HH hit traveled. Everything In the llnu
of trains BCL-nery. hotels , public worltH ,
"YOU A1IU A irUXliUUll YKAlltl IIUIIINU
run TIMIM , " BAID JUNK * .
etu. , played second fiddle to what ho
could point out at home. In Paris ,
where hu got Into a row with his land
lord over hla bill and waH taken to
court and lined 10 franca , ho liad thu
hardihood to observe ( lint n pollen
Judge In the States would have made
an all day CUBO and $10 line out of It ,
lie hadn't tallied himself out when
ho reached Belgium. lOveu before lit !
had reglHtwed hu said to the landlord :
"Your old hotel hero la on the worst
Blto in town , and the mun who hnllL it
evidently thought It was Intended for
a stoiehouso ' Lord , man , hut you ought
to see Nome of the hotels In America !
Why don t you run over there some
day and get u new Idea or two ? "
There were French , Kngltah and
Geriniin tourists stopping at the hotel.
Sonio had encountered .lones before ,
while all had heiud of him. They de-
tenulned to put up a Job that should
lay ( ho boaster low.
One afternoon , as ho sat alone on the
veranda wondering why the OJnltod
States had not absorbed Belgium and
taught the barbers how to give egg
shampoos , four or llvo Individuals
etrolled up In a careless way and , sit
ting down near him , seemed to Invite
conversation1. Ho was ready and will-
Ins.
"Gentlemen , " he began , "I have now
scon n pretty good slice of what you
call Europe , and I must say I don't
think much of it You are a hundred
years behind the times. "
"Who you vims , any way ? " demand
ed a solid , broad shouldered German
who had been pitched upon for thu
part.
"Sty name is Jones , " wns the quiet
answer.
"Und who vhas Jones ? Vims you
soiuo president or sheneral in your
country ? "
"Not a bit of it. There are 42,853
Joneses In the United States , and none
of them is of any particular account.
There ate enough of us to cut a dash
if wo made up our minds to It , but wo
are too modest. "
"I pellet I Imf met some Shoneses In
Shermany. " mld the German after a
pau&e , "und I don't like 'em. "
"Don't , eh ? That's too bad. I thought
the Jnnebea were pretty well liked
wherever you found 'em. What seem
ed to be the trouble with your German
Joneses ? "
"He vhas too mooch brag ? "
"I seo. Well , the family , as a family ,
always thought well of itself and didn't
cares ho knew it. 11 hope ; however ,
that nouo of these German Joneses
rnudu any statements he couldn't back
up. "
"I pellef , sir , " said the German ns ho
h"I his head to the words , "I pellef
Jones \hns eomo liars ! "
Jones of America half btarted up and
sat down again. After a long breath he
eoftly inquired :
"Uoea that Include the Jones family
of the United States ? "
"He docsr
"And mo ? "
"Shust BO ! "
"Then , sir , it Is my duty to ray coun
try , to the Jones family and to myself
to teach you differently , and hero goes ! "
Jones reached over and struck him
In the face and next minute had been
h > challenged o flght a duel with sworrts.
had gone as the conspirators
planned , Jonca nm t tnkn n inldnlgln
lilt or ntop hln brag. Itut tliorovnu IK
flhake In his voice im he bowed a I
u/ouud and replied :
"My cumpllmVntH , gentlemen , and I
will bo on time. The Jones family niaj
Inuo cheated In a horn ) trade , but thrj
are not tlaru. I rise to the ocniHlun-
thiU In , I will rise two hours earlier
Uiun tiHiiul tomorrow imrnilng. "
It had been "up to Jomn , " and Joint
had h < i < n ciiunl to the occasion. Tin ;
f'onHpIrntnctt wcro nonplused. It mlglil
be , however , thai. Jones' nccirplnnce ol
the rhnllrngc WUK tttmply a bluff on lilt
par ) , nnd a movtlng place WUH duly
arranged and vuconds chooen.
It wan given out for Jones' tuinvlll
that ( he ( lonimn was a ttkllU'd tiwurdtt-
man who would kill him after three or
four pauses , but ho went to bed whis
tling "Yankee Doodle , " and they
couldn't triukn him out. Ho was up
half an hour ahead of a rail next morn
ing , and there WIIH general astonish
ment at the heartiness of his apatite
and hlu Jocular demeanor.
" 1 never let anything Interfere with
my breakfirst , gentlemen , " ho ex
plained , "and I anUclpatu a good time
lighting this duel. It must bo better
than going to a circus. "
When . ( ones arrived on the ground ,
ho wiui told ( hat an ample aiwlogy
from him would bo accepted by his
opponent.
"I never apologize for being called u
liar , " IIH answered , "and nothing on
earth can stop my talking about the
glorloim United Slates. "
The affair wont ahead. It was the
play of the German to pink and disarm
Jones , but It ruvcr came to that. The
Yankee hardly knirw a rapier from n
clothes polo , but no sooner was ho
"on guard" Uian ho began to sweep ,
Rwlpc , cut and thrust In such an awk
ward and vigorous manner that his
opponent feJl into confusion , gave
ground and , all of a sudden , got six
Inches of cold steel in his shoulder.
They tried to scare Jones over the
frontier , but he rode hack to the hotel
with his hat on his car and n Key
West dgur between his teeth. When
ho had got his heels to a proper ele
vation on the railing ol' the veranda ,
he resumed :
"I don't want to pile it \ gentle
men , but even In your way of lighting
tluela you are half a century behind
us In the States. "
Onr OliUt
West Itnxtktleld , Mass. , claims the
distinction of having the oldest hotel
In the United States. It was built In
1700 by Caplaln David Illlchcock , who
was Its bonlfaco for llfty-onc years , and
during his tlmo ho entertained many
distinguished guests. General George
Washington stopped there Oct. 112 , 1780 ,
on his way to Huston and entered in his
diary , "Wo were fed on the best the
town affords. " A short tlmo afterward
Martha Washington spent the nhrht
there.
In 171)0 ) President John Adams drove
Into ( own with his coach and four , and
Landlord Hitchcock gave him the "best
room In the houbo. " Jerome Bonaparte ,
who was appointed king of Wcitphalla
in 1807 , spent the night there with his
American bride , Mlfs Kllzaljcth Patter-
M > n , In 18O1 , and tradition shows the
place whore hlH coach ran Into a fence
and demolished It.
General Lafayette on his visit to
America In 1S1M stopped there , and
.many other notable personages have
partaken of Its hospitality.
The WuyHide Inn , made Immortal by
Longfellow , antedates the West Hrook-
lleld house , but It never had a continu
ous career as a hotel.
Saw Outof ' 1'hfin.
The late Augustln Daly , In splto of
the gloom that ever seemed to envelop
him , had his put story , which the few
persons who were nt all Intimate with
him personally must have heard over
and over again. It was about a big Jcr-
soymtm who , casting his eye along
Broadway for a "likely show , " was at
tracted and tempted by the highly colored -
ored posters announcing a spectacular
piece called "The Forty Thieves" and
determined to spend the evening in the
theater where it was offered. He went
to the box olllce , laid down a five dollar
bill and asked for one of the best seats.
A punched coupon and ? 3 were handed
him. When he asked what the ticket
cost and was told $2 , it was evident
that he had not calculated higher than
half a dollar.
"Two dollars to see 'The Forty
Thieves , ' eh ? " ho repeated.
"Yes , sir , " courteously replied the
Uckot seller. "Please do not block the
window. "
"Well , keep your durned sent ! " ex
claimed the Jerseyman , picking up the
M cimngo. "I don't think I care to BOO
the other thirty-nine ! " Philadelphia
Ledger.
IH Hennou For
Many and various and weird are the
reasons given by servants for wanting
a change of place. Hero Is a tulo told
by George Grossmlth , which adds a
rare and wondrous instance to the long
and eccentric list His butler , who
had been with him for nearly twenty
years , went to him one day and said ,
"If you pleabc , sir , I want to leavd"
Mr. Grossmlth was sorry and asked
the man his reason. "I would rather
not say , sir , " was the mysterious reply.
This was uncomfortable , and Mr. Gros
smlth pressed the question again.
"Come. " he said , "you huve been with
me for so long and have never com
plained before. Surely I have almost
a right to know why you wish to leave.
Your secrecy Is unpleasant , and I must
really beg of you to tell mo your reason
*
son for leaving my service. " The but
ler thought a moment and then said :
"Well , sir , as you insist , I must tell
you. But I don't want to. ( A pause. )
*
The fact Is , sir , I'vebecn with you now
for close upon twenty years , and I'm
Blck of the sight of you and all your
family I" New Orlcaas Times-Demo
crat.
SENATE ETIQUETTE.
It Cnino Xcnr Mnklntt lloonrtvlt Mbtn
A vic proiMwit wmtcil in solitary
grandeur in Uie seriate chamber , whllu
Uio crrtfinoiiy of a prraitlrnllal inaugu
ration to wtiich Iu ) IUIH bocn invited us
im honored inutit Is going on otitsldit ,
surely imsuiits n upcclnclo with an ulo-
nn'iit of luunur In 1L Few persons
know how near Tluxxloro Itoosevelt
came to playing mich a pnrt on the 4th
of March , UUL. ) Thu senate stickles
KO for minor details of etiquette that
the most Btniiuous reformer would
hardly venture to transgress Its rules ,
nnd they require that a formal motion
to adjourn sluill bo put before a day's
session can come to an end. After his
inauguration as vice president in Uio
ttenato chamber Mr. HotRU elt took the
gavel and , when the routine business
was luilvluil , tlirvctiHl the sergeant at
arms , ns usual , to proceed with the
corutntiny of Inaugurating Mr. McKln-
\y \ no pnsldi > nt
It was tliiui In order firr some senator
to move an adjournment , but In the
runfuslnn nobody Krcmcd to have ills
wits about him , and the whole assem
blage , Including the senators , quitted
Uio chamber for the cast porUco , where
the oath was to bo administered and
Uio address delivered. In a few min
utes the vlco president found himself
alone , with a fair prospect of remain
ing BO until the day's performances
were over , but it chanced that Senator
Heitfold missed his hat while passing
through the corridor and came baclj to
look for It Fneu to face with the vice
president ; It occurred to Uio senator
that something must bo wrong , BO with
the utmost gravity ho moved "that
the senate do nw adjourn. " Mr.
Rnosevolt , with equal solemnity , put
the motion , declared It carried and
proceeded in Mr. Heltfold'u company
to the place on the prrsldenUal stand
which had been reserved for him.
Francis E. Leupp in Century.
ILL NATURED BRUTES.
Eiuliirniico unrt CnrrylnK I'mvor tlic
Only CJooil Traltn In Cmuuln.
ABvo ha\X' racers anil cnrt liorseg ,
BO the Arabs and the natives of north-
eastcru Africa huve brmls of camels
severally adapted for riding and for
carrying bunions' . It Is to the fast rid
ing and racing camels that the name
dromedary ulono applies , so that this
term the Greek equivalent of "racer"
ImlluatoM merely a breed and not a
particular hpeeles.
All the camels of Arabia aud Africa ,
as well us those employed In Indlil , be
long to the single humped species ,
which Is a lightly built and long limbed
animal In comparison with Its double
humped relative , the Uactrlan camel of
central Asia. Not improbably some of
the herds of the latter species which
are found in the neighborhood of the
Gobi desert are the descendants of
aboriginally wild animals , but the
Arabian camel is quite unknown In a
wild state , and wo arc even ignorant
of its birthplace , although it Is quite
likely that this may have been north
Africa or the neighborhood of Uio Ara
bian desert. For traversing desert
tracts camels are absolutely Indispen
sable. Their broad cushlonllko hoofs
proclaim them essentially animals of
the desert , and a camel Is absolutely
helpless on a wet autl slippery Inclined
roud.
As if conscious that man cannot do
without them , camels are sonio of the
worst tempered and ill imtured brutes
In creation , and , save for their en
durance nnd the heavy loads they can
carry , no ono has a good word to say
In their favor. If a camel can bite a
mounted traveler whom ho may bo
passing In a narrow rend , he will never
fall to avail himself of the opportunity ,
and the bubbling nolso made by a
"mast" camel at night will destroy the
rest of an entlro camp. London Illus
trated News.
Why Wullle Went.
From Scotland comes the following
story concerning an enthusiastic curler
who invariably wore nt the game a cap
wlth _ comfortable worm ear JJaps : Ar
riving ono day without his headgear ,
ho was greeted by a friend :
"EhVullle , tnon , what's yero auld
lug wanner ? "
To which Uio other replied lugubri
ously :
"I hao na' worn it seenco ma acci
dent"
' . ; Accident ? A'm sorry tao hear o't.
What was It , then ? "
"A mon offered mo a dram , an' wl'
they dashed llnps I dldna bear him. "
"Ma conscience ! " said the other.
London Globe.
Not Nice.
"What a nice , big boy you are , Tom
my , " said the pleasant faced neighbor.
"I'm big all right , " said Tommy ,
"but I ain't nice. "
"Don't you want to bo called nice ?
That's very strange. My Qcorglo Is
never happier than when people allude
to him as a nice boy. "
"An" I can lick him with ono hand
tied behind me , " said terrible Tommy.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ho'd lie Leavin' .
"Now , 'tis Ol do bo askln' yo , " sold
Clancy , "av yea sees a dawg growlln'
wld 'Is rnout' an1 waggln' wid Is tail ,
which Ind wud yo bellovo in ? "
"Thot'a easy , " replied Moriarty.
"Shuro , Ol be leavin' th' front Ind ,
Clancy. " Baltimore News.
Suiplcloaa.
"Tho elopers have returned to ask
for your blessing. "
"Blessing , eh ? How Qo they want it ?
In the form of an allowance or a cash
deposit r1 Life.
To Interest a man talk about himself
to Interest a woman talk about some
body sno wishes wcro talking to her In
stead of you , New Yojk Press.
Karl7 lUaliiK Not AJirnr > n Virtue.
TlioiumidB of people have no cliolca
whatever about their hour of rlfiimj in
the morning. Later or earlier , that
hour IB Ibccd for tliem by the nxjulro-
mt'ntx of the oiOci' , the sliop or U |
classroom , by the time table of th ral-
road , by the arbitration of their em
ployers or the nccusslUes of their em
ployee * . Hut In the cuses manifold
where personal liberty is enjoyed it
should not be thoughtlvssly restricted
elinply because of Uio domestic trailV-
tlon thnt eiirly rising deserves pmlao
and bite rising blame.
HroiRfiiut may often be n movable
feast without materially disturbing the
routine of an orderly housekeeping day.
Invalids , mothers whoso rest has been
broken by teething babies and , above
all , rapidly growing children , should
have their sleep out. Nature demands
this , and violence Is done to her when
sleepy people are rudely aroused from
their beds. Enrly to bed is the single
safe prescription to insure early to rise.
Wo need to repeat It over and over to
our hurrying , anxious , tolling Amer
ican men find women : Heat , rest and
again rest. Do not think time ill spent
that Is spent In repairing the ravages
of our well nigh Incessant activity.
The Fir-Mi I'nntutulutr.
Most pnntomlmo characters were
originally borrowed from the Italians ,
The llrst real English pantomime was
produced nt a theater in Lincoln's Inn
Fields In 1720. It was called "Harle
quin Executed , " and Its subtitle was
"A New Italian Comic Bceuo Between
a Scnmraouchc , a Harlequin , a Coun
try Farmer , His Wife and Others. "
The performance wns very successful.
About the middle of the eighteenth cen
tury the character of pantomime per
formances \vau completely altered ,
chlelly bccnuso of the genius of the fa
mous GrimaUl , who made the clown
the Uret Ognro of the pantomime. Grt-
maldl llrst appeared at Sadler's Wells
theater , wheru ho played the part of a
monkey. He was actively engaged on
the stage for forty-nine years , and at
the dose of his stage career he took a
benefit at Drury ! > ano theater , which
realized nearly 1500. He also received
100 from the Drury Lane fund. This
was In June , 182S. He died in 1S37 nud
was burled In the churchyard in St
James' chapel , Pcntonvlllo hill. - London
don Standard.
The White Man In Africn.
"Tho footprint of the white man Is
like the footprint of the elephant , "
saj'8 a Swuxl native proverb ; "it re
mains in the ground. "
Another proverb : "White men are
like and yet unlike quails. When you
see one in your country you will soon
BOO a Hock. But the quails leave you
again , the white men never. "
Comparing Note * .
"So Mr. Suiilax told you his heart
was broken when you refused him , "
Bald Maud.
"Yes , " answered Mamie.
"The Impudence of him to offer mo
damaged goods the next day ! " Wash
ington Star.
"To toll you the truth"
"Sh-sh-sh ! Don't try it , old man !
George Washington did that once , and
look at him now he's dead ! " Baltl-
tnoru News.
Very Iteinarkabln Curu of Dlurrlioen ,
"About six years ago for the first
tiuio in my life I had a sudden aud
severe attack of diarrhoea , " says Mrs.
AHco Miller of Morgan , Texas. "I got
temporary relief , but it came back again
and agalu , and for six long years I have
suffered more misery aud ugouy than I
can tell. It was worse than death. My
husband spout hundreds of dollars for
physicians' prescriptions and treatment
without avail. Finally we moved to
Basque county , our present home , and
ono day I happened to see an advertise
ment of Chamberlain's Oolio , Oholora
and Diarrhoea Remedy with a testimonial
menial of a man who had been cured by
it. The case was so similar to my own
that I concluded to try the remedy.
The result was wonderful. I could
hardly realize that I was well again , or
believe it could be so after having suf
fered so long , but that one bottle of
medicine , costing but a few cents ,
cured me. " For sale by Kiesau Drug
Oo.
Two llottlos Cured Him.
"I was troubled with kidney com
plaint for about two years , " writes A.
H. Davis of Mt. Sterling , la. , but two
bottles of Foley's Kidney Oaro effected
a permanent cure. " Kiesau Drug Oo.
No False Ulttliu * .
The proprietors of Foley's Honey and
Tar do not advertise this as a "sure euro
for consumption. " They do not claim
It will cure this dread complaint iu ad
vanced cases , but do positively assort
that it will euro in the earlier stages
and never fails to give comfort aud relief -
lief in the worst cases. Foloy's Honey
and Tar Is without doubt the greatest
throat and lung remedy. Refuse sub
stitutes. Kiesau Drug Co.
Junt About DeiUliiie
take a Little Early Riser It will cure
constipation , biliousness and liver
troubles. DeWitt's Little Early Risers
are different from other pills. The do
not gripe and break down the mucous
membranes of the stomach , liver and
bowels , but onre by gently arousing the
peoretlons aud giving strength to these
organs. Sold by The Kiecan Drug Co.
Working Night ana Day.
The busiest and mightiest little thing
that ever was made Is Dr. King's Now
Life pills. These pills change weak
ness Into strength , listlessness into
energy , brain-fag into mental power.
They're wonderful in building up the
health. Only 25o per box. Sold by
Asa K. Leonard.
The Foundation of lleulth.
Nourishment is the foundation of
health life strength. Kodol Dy
spepsia care Is the ouo great medicine
that enables the stomach and digestive
organs to digest assimilate and trans
form all foodi Into the bind of blood
thatr nourishes the nerves aud feeds the
tissues. Kodol lays the foundation for
THE OUTCROPPING
SHIN DISEASES
OF BAD BLOOD
And while not always painful arc aggravating beyond expression. With
few exceptions they arc worse in spring and summer when the system begins
to thaw out and the skin _ _ . .
' _ _ _ _ _ * .Buffered with Eczema of i
is reacting and making and face for over n year , It was not only
extra efforts to throw of ! annoying nnd painful but very un
sightly , and I disliked to go out In the
the poisons that have Btroots.
accumulated during the I tried nt least a dozen BoapB and salvBo
and became very much discouraged
winter. Then boils nnd until I road in the paper of the curoa
pimples , rashes and performed through the use of 8 , 8. 8. I
had Itttlo faith at flrat but determined
eruptions of every con to give It a month's fair trial at lanst. X
ceivable kind make am pleased to state that I soon noticed a
, sufficient decide
slight Improvement to
their appearance , and me to keep it up. After the use of six bottles my Bkin
Eczema andTctter the was as smooth aud soft as a baby's. This was u year
ago and I have never had any trouble since.
twin terrors of skin
MISS GENEVA BEIOQS.
diseases Nettle-rash ,
010 80.7th St. , Minneapolis , Minn.
Poison Oak and Ivy ,
and such other skin troubles as usually remain qniet during cold weather ,
break out afresh to torment and distract by their fearful burning , itching-
and stinging. A course of S. S. S. now will purify
and enrich the blood , reinforce and tone up the gen
eral system and stimulate the sluggish circulation ,
thus warding off the diseases common to spring and
summer. The skin , with good blood to nourish itry
remains smooth and soft and free of all disfiguring eruptions. " *
Send for our free book on diseases of the skin and write us if you desire
medical advice or any special information. This will cost you nothing.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO. , ATLANTA , GA.
health. Nature does the rest. Indi
gestion , dyspepsia , and nil disorders of
the stomach and digestive organs are
cured by the use of Kodol. Sold by
The Klesau Drug Oo.
Man-Er-Vine tablets. The nerve
tonlo for men aid women. Build up
the system and make you fcol bright
and chootfal. The Klesau Drug Oo.
Sound kidneys are safeguards of life.
Make the kidneys sufo withFoloy's Kid
ney Oaro. Kicsan Drug Oo.
Will lluy It Hack.
You assume no risk when you buy
Chamberlain's Oolio , Oholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy. Kiesan Drug Oo. will
refund your money if you are not satis
fied after using it. It is everywhere
admitted to bo the most successful rem
edy in use for bowel complaints and the
only ono that never fails. It is pleasant ,
safe and reliable.
HronchltlH for Tu euty Year * .
Mrs. Minerva Smith of Danville , 111. ,
writes : "I had bronchitis for twenty
years and never got relief until I used
Foley's Honey and Tar which is sure to
cure. " Kiesan Drug Oo.
When Other Medicines Hiivo Failed
tahe Foloy's Kidnpy Onre. It has cured
when everything else has disappointed.
Kiesan Drug Oo.
For a lazy liver try Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver tablets. They iu-
vigorote the liver , aid the digestion ,
regulate the bowels and prevent bilious
attacks. Forsao by Kiesan Drug Oo.
Catarrh of the Stomach.
When the stomach is overloaded ;
when food is takuu into It that fails to
digest , it decays and inflames the
mucous meuibrauoexp03ing the nerves ,
and causing the glands to secret muoiu ,
instead of the natural juices of di
gestion. This is called catarrh of the
stouianh. For years I suffered with
catarrh of the stomach , caused by in
digestion. Doctors and medicines
failed to benefit me until I used Kodol
Dyspepsia euro. J R. Rhea , Ooppoll ,
Tex. Sold by The Kiesau Drug Co.
Thla Cllmuto IH Good
enough for anybody with weak lungs.
The patient need not travel. He can
Kot well hero with the help of Allen's
Luug Balsam , taken frequently when
coughing and shortness of breath after
exercise serve notice upon him that
serious pulmonary trouble are not far
away. Allen's Lung Balsam is free
from any form of opium.
Nlfjht WHH Her Terror.
"I would cough nearly all night
long , " writes Mrs. Ohas. Applogato , of
Alexandria , Ind , "and could hardly
iet any sleep . I had consumption so
bad that if I walked a block I would
cough frightfully and spit blood , but ,
when all other medicines failed , three
? 1.00 bottles of Dr. King's Now Dis
covery wholly cured mo and I gained
58 pounds. " It's absolutely guaranteed
to cure coughs , colds , la grippe , brou-
ohitis and all throat and lung troubles.
Price COo aud $1.00. Trial bottles free
at Asa K. Leonard's ,
A Surgical Operation.
is olwayp dangerous do not submit
to the surgeon's knite until you have
tried DoWitt's Witch Hazel solve. It
will cure when everything else fails it
lias done this in thousands of cases.
Hero is one of them ; I suffered from
bleeding and protruding piles for
twenty years. Was treated by different
specialists and used many remedies , but
obtained no relief until 1 used Do Witt's
Witch Hazel salvo. Two boxes of this
salvo cured mo eighteen months ago
and I have not had a touch of the piles
since. . H. A. Tiadale , Summorton , S.
0. For blind , bleeding , itching and
protruding piles no remedy equals
DeWltt's Witch Hazel salve. Sold by
The Klesau Drug Oo.
Foley's Kidney Cure purifies the
blood by straining out Impurities and
tones up the whole system , Cures kid
ney and bladder troubles. Kiesan Drug
Co.
Co.No
No inau or woman iu the state will
hesitate to speak well of Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver tablets after once
trying them. They always produce a
pleasant movement of the bowels , im
prove the appetite and strenghten the
digestion. For sale by Kiesau Drug
Co.
Co.A.
A. R. Bass of Morgantown , Ind. , had
to get up ton or twelve times in the
night , and had a severe backache and
pains in the kidneys. Was cured by
Foley's Kidney Oaro. Klesau Drug Oo.
When you feel constipated , have soar
stomach or biliousness , try Berg's
Swoo Laxative Gulps. They do the
work. 10 and 26 cents. The Kiesau
DrugOo.
Ilrutully Tortured ,
A case oaino to light that for presist-
ent and unmerciful torture has perhaps
never been equaled. Joe Golobick of
Oolusa , Calif , writes. "For 15 years I
endured Insufferable pain from rheum
atism and nothing relieved mo thounh
I Mod every thing known. I borne
across Electric Bitters and it'ri the
greatest medicine on earth for that
trouble. A few bottles of It completely
relieved and cured me. " Just ns good
for liver and kidney troubles and
general debility. Only BOo Satis
faction guaranteed by Asa K. Leonard ,
druggist.
No Pity Shown.
' For years fate was after mo con
tinuously" writes F. A. Gnlledgo , Ver
bena , Ala. "I had a terrible case of
piles causing 24 tumors. When all
failed Buckleh's Arnica salve onrod me.
Equally good for burns and all aches
and pains. Only 25c at Asa K.
Leonard's drug store.
How are your kidneys ? It Is danger
ous to delay when the kidneys are sick.
Kidney-Ettes ore the most wonderful
cure for all kidney and backache com
plaints. The Kiesan Drug Oo.
Trent Your Klilnrvit for Klienmatlsm.
When you are suffering from rheuma
tism , the kidneys must bo attended teat
at oiico so that they will eliminate the
uric acid from the blood. Foley's Kidney -
noy Onro is the most effective remedy
for this purpose. R T Hopkins of
Polar , Wis , says , ' 'After unsuccessfully
doctoring three years for rheumatism
with the best doctors , I tried Foley's
Kidney Cure and it cured me. I cannot
speak too highly of this great medi
cine. Kiesan Drug Co.
Cholera Infautum.
This has long been regarded as one of
the most dangerous and fatal diseases to
which infants nre subjict. It can bo
cured , however , when properly treated.
All that is necessary is to give Cham
berlain's Colic , Oholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy and castor oil , as directed with
each bottle , and a cure Is certain. For
sale by Kiesau Drug Oo.
A Bad Breath
A bad breath means a bad
stomach , a bad digestion , a
bad liver. Ayer's Pills are
liver pills. They cure con
stipation , biliousness , dys
pepsia , sick headache.
25c. All druggists.
Want your moustnche or board a beautiful
brown or rich black ? Then use
BUCKINGHAM'S ' DYE Golfers
OCT < . or D yo < 5j T on R P Mln. A CO NMMU N H.
An ( tuolata pcclde and antUoeptlc prep
aration ( or all kind * ol
BTSORE THROAT.
BIMPLY A GAHQLB , PEBPEOTLY HABMLE8&I
A ure cnr ( or rioamces * , Torullltls , Quinsy.
Inflamed , Ulctratcd end Catarrhal SoreThroatJ
A preventive ol Croup , Whooping Cough emj
Diphtheria.
PUUIFVINO HEALING ROOTniMfi
Endorsed 07 tno Mo t Eminent Throat SpoalalI I
Itts In the country.
Baould be * ept In every noma. Price 2D Cent * )
Uerg Medicine Co. . Des aioluet , Iowa.
| raxative grorao Quinine
Cures a Cold in One Day , Crlpui2 Days
onevcry
box.
THIS WILL INTEREST MOTHER
Mother Gmy's Sweet Powders for Children , suc
cessfully used by Mother Grayfor years a niirfe In >
the Children's Home In New York , Cure Fevtrleh-
i\caf. Hud Stomach , Teething Disorders , mm a nml
regulate the Bowels and destroy Worms. Tlioy are
f o pleasant to the taste and harmless as rnllk. Child-
NOW READY
The'Many Adventureslof
FOXY GRANDPA
Including nil tbomorry pictnrcBcon-
taluod in Uio two volumes , entitled
AdvontnreB of Foxy Grandpa" nnd
"KnrtborAdventurMot Foxy Grand.
p& .
iMV to IHO ono day at
lunch i "What do yon think of a series
of comic drawings dealing with n grand-
fntlier and his two grandsons ? "
'Let the grandfather bo the clover ono
of the trio. In moat of the other caeeo
the young folk have boon smarter than
Hlood | people upon ' whom they played
the r Jokea. Let's reverse it. "
The next morning ho came to my of.
Hco with sketches for half R aozon
"
'
.
The snccofla of the series In the New
York Herald was Instnntauooni , for
"ri10' "Foiy ara * '
? nffiSwr"ri10' , ?
The jolly old gentleman , dear to
grown people as well as children , might
" 1 the Mr-
EDWARD MARSHALL.
To Grandfathers Who Are And
To Those Who Are To He ,
I Merrily Dedicate This Book.
"BONNY. "
Sent Postage paid on receipt of ONE
UULLiAIt In currency or postal order :
no checks received ,
L. E. HAMER8LEY CO ,
40 Wall Street , New York.