8 I lih [ NOUJ7OLKtiNS ( : FKIiJA \ , AIMUL I \ O/ ' By ALICE MACGOWAN I ( \ > | > wrffM ) , IMJ , Iiy J lf Hun1' * AVwwjxijirr The duBt rose In choking clnuilH. Thu foot of tlio dancers thudded n dull ac companiment to the walling music [ which tlio Mexican sheep shearers drew from harp niul guitar. One or two men wore tlnncliiK with spurs on till n ripped drcas and n shrill fonilnlno protest cxclnileil them from tlio floor. It was u ranch tlnnco at Hilly Mot- low's Har 13 ranchhouNo , and the la dles who graced the occasion , except Louise Morrison and Mlsn Wllllo I'or- tcr , thw Bchoolteacher , were all mnr- tied women. Their nuineroiiH progeny had been Ktowed In an adjoining room. Mrs. Hilly , aware of what would ho expected , hud niadu a lied of lilunUetH end comfortables along ono wall. There thu youngsters reposed , their bare tees sticking out toward tliu bo- bolder. 1'oor flc.no MeKnlght leaned against a doorcaslng and watched tlio dancers. Ho was ouirust from thu wltolu fcs- tlvlty Hlnce ho might not even speak to Loulfu ) Morrison. Thu KM looked pale , heavy eyed and unhappy. Her Ister-ln-law , Mrs. Hack Morrison , who rejoiced In tlio singularly felicitous nickname of "Ohubb , " a round faced , tight skinned , red checked , black beady eyed woman , dancing In the same set [ with Louise , kept a sharp lookout that McKnlght got nowhere near her charge. She was bounding like a rub ber ball through the figure" , her small black eyes snapping with delight. She could afford to enjoy herself , for her nttltude toward Mclvnlghl and her In tentions concerning her husband's HH- ! tor were matters well known and clear ly understood by all present. The bachelor population of the county , dis porting Itself In tha dance and pretty much all either actual or potential suit ors of Louise , lent willing and valuable assistance. Gene McKnlght was the finest look ing , best hearted and sweetest temper ed six feet of masculinity on the whole Packsaddle range. Ho was an Umpired JIB C1AYK A OOOD STUONQ 1'VIiTi ON HIS EN1 > OF THE YAKN BT1UNO. cattleman and had come up rapidly from cow puncher , wagon boss , ranch boss , to Imve a nlco bunch of cattle end a good ranch of his own. When Ipvcly Louise Morrison , then only sev enteen years old , came out to stay iwltli her brother Zack on his Texas ranch , the Open M ( , she became at once In that community of eligible bachelor hood a belle and the possessor of many desirable Bultors. Gene , whoso ranch , the Lazy K. , adjoined the Open W. , soon made It plain that Bho had his heart , and tbo girl , artless and Impul sive and with no vestige of the coquette In her makeup , allowed It to appear as plainly that her own was given to Gene In exchange. The disappointed swains took their defeat as becomes men , and all would now have gone well for the lovers had It not been for Mrs. Chubb's only and adored offspring , Beauregard , a youth of some four summers , and , as Pack- eaddlo declared to a man , "the orucricst brat that ever dragged his lariat round over the Texas Panhandle. " The seem ingly favorable fact of propinquity iwas what probably procured Gene's downfall , for , waxing familiar with tbo young man's personality , not to say his anatomy , Henuregard proceed ed to practice upon him the methods pursued toward his mother , his cat and bis toys. Mrs. Chubb's darling had apparently decided In" his Infantile mind to de stroy McKuIght The process having gone about as far as was safe and much further than was comfortable and no remonstrance being offered by the sweetly smiling Mrs. Chubb , Mc Knlght firmly but kindly restrained the young cannibal from the actual demolition of bis features. It was enough It was more than enough. Mrs. Chubb never forgave this Slighting behavior toward her cher ished offspring. Indeed , the more Bho thought of the matter the bitterer she \ grazed until McKnlght was forbidden the bouse. Mrs. Chubb declared that he would rather band Louise over to R hone thief than to a brute like Gene who would ttnflonbttdt/ beat her nlnco ho would go RO far ante to cruelly mlHlreut a llttlo child and l efore Its own mother's eyes ! Poor ( leno thought of these things an lie leaned agaliml ( ho doorway and looked on at the dunce. Now , this doorway led to the room where the children were stowed. A yap and a nllght seutlle among them attended his attention and appeared to suggest something , lie glanced at Chubb Mor rison. What If the plot which had just Hashed Into hlH mind offered not only n solution of his and LonlHo'u troubles , lint a chance to get even with thlH redoubtable - doubtable matron and her III tempered youngnter , who had made Lonlso'H life i burden ever Hlncn shu came to the Opun M.I ( leno hurried out to the corral , made certain amiiiKomtinlH there , then slip ped back Into the children's room , ivhero ho proceeded to connect all those bare and stubby toes ono with the oth er at good , liberal distances by a firm- y attached line of yarn. Ilo first tried t thoughtfully and doubled It after lolng HO. "I don't want to exactly Jerk liolr toes out , " ho muttered , "and yet he Lord knows fcr ho intulo 'em ; hat 'twould servo most of 'em about right. " This done , he went back to his post at the doorway and gave a good strong mil on his end of the yarn string. There ensued a subdued growling in ho room behind him which waxed and grow to a series of howls , In which every Hpecles of Juvenllo voice entreated " " "Mawl" " ! " ed for "Mommerl" "Mammy rno iiin , ( lowing nun a mini wave over the mimic of the orchestra , reached the oars of Mrs. Chubb. She paused in ler evolutions , Hung up her head llko v warhorse that sniffs the battle and > onnced , us Gene afterward declared , with ono mighty hounco clean Into the nlddlu of the struggling juvenility in .ho next room. "And I reckon , " ho added always In oiling the story , "that It was plumb tlmo she should git ( bar , for them young uns was jest n-eatln' each oth er's heads off all simultaneous. " This was the last of his actual ob servations. As he turned toward the ballroom to find what chance the diver sion gave him with Louise ho met Hilly Motlow's wife and the spouse of Nick Doyle both charging toward the children's room with fury written upon their countenances. Fleeing silently , Gene found Louise near the outside door. With one sob she was In his arms In the scmldark- ncss. "Now's our chance , sweetheart ! " ho whispered In the llttlo ear ho had just ardently kissed , and with her hand In his they escaped unobserved toward the corral. And back In "tho court of the chil dren" the fight raged awfully. The nion , great , easy going chaps In clump ing cowboy boots , stood back in fool ish helplessness while their wives pulled , jerked , thrust and screamed with shrill voices and blazing eyes. Children were snatched and clawed hack and forth ( along with the ex change of much bitter reproach and In vective ) , Inquired of , violently rejected , the yarn weaving In and out and round and through , the youngsters splitting the air at every Jerk , until some woman a llttlo saner than the others discovered Its existence and displayed It to the onlookers. A sudden pause of amazement fol lowed this revelation , and upon this abrupt stillness burst a very full ex planation of both Us authorship and Its purpose , for there flashed across the lighted space outside the windows a stream of galloping ponies , followed and driven by a mounted man and a girl , Gene swinging his lariat and whooping joyously and Louise lending a willing hand and voice to the work. And Hack Morrison's foghorn tones were lifted : "Thar , now ! Gone Me- Knight's done skipped with Lou while you all was a-foolln' hero over this trick of hls'n on the young uns. Stampeded the pOnles too ! They aln'l n hoof loft to chase 'cm 'on , an' I'm glad of It ! " Hovr He Joined the Church. The story Is told that on one of our missionary fields a native approached the missionary and declared that ho wished to Join the church. Ho was carefully examined , as Is the custom , and answered satisfactorily most if not all of the questions put to him. Just before completing the examina tion the missionary asked the native II ho had a wife. "Yes , " ho replied , "I have two. " "Well , " said the mission ary , "wo cannot receive you Into the church If you have two wives. Wo arc sorry , because you give a good ac count of yourself , but so long as you have two wives wo cannot receive you Into the membership of the church. ' Some tlmo elapsed and the native ap peared again before the missionary am stated that there was now no objcctloi to his entering the church. The mis slonary ald , "How about your secont wife ? " "Oh , " replied the native , "that's oil right. I have eaten her. " London Standard. A Mngliterlnl Logician. A halite of Glasgow was noted fo the simplicity of his manners on the bench. A youth was charged before htm with abstracting a handkerchte from a gentleman's pocket The in dictment being read , the bailie , ad dressing the prisoner , remarked , " hae mie doot yo did the deed , for I had a handkerchief ta'cn oot 'o my aln pouch this verra week. " The sam magisterial logician was on another oc caslon seated on the bench when a case of serious assault was brough forward by the public prosecutor Struck by the powerful phraseology of the Indictment , the bailie proceeded to say , "For this malicious crime yo nro fined seven and sixpence. " The as sessor remarked that the case had not yet been proved. "Then , " said the magistrate , "we'll Just mak' the fine B shillings. " London Tlt-Blta. MISS W1GGS' PRIZE STORY ( Copyrlfiht , JM2. Iiy T. C. McClnro. ] "A loiter for you , MlHH WlggH , " "aid the pontman , smiling. Llttlo Mltm Wlggs extended a trem bling hand. Bho carefully cut the end of Iho en- vclopu with the HclHMorH and drew out the letter. It wan very brief : "Tho cdltorH of The Story Magazine talco great pleiiHiiro In presenting the Inclosed check as payment of the prize offered for the best short story submit ted In their recent content. " That waH all , Hut n dozen pages of praise could not liuvo pleased llttlo Miss WlggH more. It wan not a largo mini of money , to bo sure , but to her It meant a great deal. ICvor since tlmt day three months before when she had mailed the story and the required sub scription money she had waited and hoped with all the fervor of her little body. There had been little sewing for her to do of late , and she had watched her Income dwlndlo away with growing fear. She had never thought of trying to write till Cordelia Hrown ono day brought her a copy of The Story Maga zine to read. Cordelia was seventeen years old now and well along In high BChool , but she bad never forgotten MHH ! Wlggs * kindness of former days. i f * wiujn inu gin was gone , OIIHH wiggs picked iii | the magazine. Almost the llrst page to meet her eyes was an ad vertisement offering a prize for the best short story submitted before n certain date. It was then tlmt the Idea of trying to write a story Unit occurred to Miss WlggH. She had a tale of the first settlers In her memory handed down from mother to daughter , as such stories arc. More over , she possessed a good education , a clear mind and plenty of leisure. Noth ing was more natural , therefore , than that Miss WlggH should write a story. In dno time the story was completed. Miss Wlggs copied It In her best hand writing and , Inclosing the dollar de manded as one of the conditions of the content , mailed It to the magazine. Then Bho told Cordelia what she had done and oven read her the first draft of the story. When she had finished , Cordelia shook her bead. "I am sorry , dear Miss Wlggs. " she said gently , "but I urn afraid the story will hardly suit hem. " Then , with all the kindness he could command , she explained to ho woman the needs of the magazine. t used little else than love stories , she Bald , and for that reason the editors would scarcely take the trouble to ex- amlno manuscripts of another charac- er. er."But "But why not try again ? " she Un shed brightly. "Our subscription baa expired , and you can send In our re- icwal with the story. Please do , Miss Wlggs. " , So Miss Wlggs did try again. Some- low as she sat In the darkened parlor a plot came to her , an Idea for a love story , unique , clover , Interesting. She old It to Cordelia , and the girl clapped icr hands joyously. "Oh , It's ever so good , Miss Wlggs ! " she mild. And when the story was writ- .en and read to her she gave It exactly : ho same praise. And now the story ind won the prize. * * * * * The back door opened softly , and Cordelia entered the house. It was Borne time before she discovered Miss Wlggs In the parlor. As the girl enter ed the room the woman looked up with a smile lighting her thin face. "See , Cordelia , " she said , with child- Isli ilno. "Tvnii tlin Cordelia did not smllo. Drawing a chair close to Miss Wlggs' , she opened the magazine in her hand. "I am going to read yon a story , " she Bald slowly , "that was printed several years ago. " Miss Wlggs smiled at the girl loving ly as she listened to the first few words. Then the smllo gave wayto a look of wonderment that in turn changed to ono of pain. When the story was ended , she looked up at the girl with tears In her eyes. "Yon don't think , Cordelia" she be gan brokenly. Cordelia sprang to her side and placed an arm caressingly around the woman. "Dear Miss Wlggs. " she said quick ly , "perhaps it was merely a coinci dence or it may be you once read this story and then forgot it till it came back to your memory , apparently an original Idea. " They sat silently In the little parlor till twilight fell. Miss Wlggs bravely kept back the tears , but the hand that Cordelia held trembled constantly. The postman's step sounded on the front porch , and Miss Wlggs openet the door for him. Ho handed her a long blue envelope. "My story of the first settlers , " she explained to Cordelia , noting the name of The Story Magazine on the envelope She tore it open and slipped out the manuscript. A little note came -with it "Read it , Cordelia. " she said. "My eyes arc not very clear today. " "Tho editors of The Story Magazine,1 read Cordelia , "return the inclosc ( manuscript with much regret. Wei written and readable as it Is , the plo Is somewhat hackneyed , and for tha reason the story la returned. " ' With a sudden suspicion Cordelia turned to the manuscript. "Oh , Miss Wlggs , " she cried , "Itva your story of the old settlers that won the prize , after all. They have re turned your love story. " Miss Wlggs smiled through her tears "Cordelia " she said "wo ' , , won't hav to write that letter returning tfco chock to the publishers tomorrow morning We will take a llttlo outing Instead. " LESLIE W. QUIRK. Take Things x V As They ( gme When you buy soda biscuit in a paper bag , take them as they comej stale soggy spoiled. Don't blame the baker. Don't blame the grocer. , Don't blame anyone but yourself. When you buy Uneeda Biscuit look for the In-ec-scal the famous red and white trade-mark design that identifies the package which keeps them fresh clean good. Credit the baker for baking them. Credit the. grocer for keeping them. Credit yourself for buying them. i. t Uneeda Biscuit NATIONALBISCUIT COMPANY WEAK IN THE ALPHABET. ftanie I.cttrm Thttt Men Can Never X > enm to Muke. "Why 1" It tlmt with some men some ctt'ers of the alphabet arc harder to nako than others and , In fact , tlmt hero are some letters tlmt some men icver learned how to makeV" asked a Doling man who takes considerable in- crest in the matter of handwriting In ho Now Orleans Times-Democrat. "It s a rather singular fact that nearly very man outside of the experts Is weak on ono or more of the letters In ho English alphabet. Sometimes the otter Involved Is a capital letter ; some- Imon It is of the smaller kind ; some- lines It Is ono letter and sometimes another. In any event , you will find ow men who arc exempt from the fall- ng referred to. "I know of one man who in splto of the fact that ho docs a great deal of vrltlng has never learned how to make a capital P. Ho simply makes a stag ger at It , and , as n rule , the result of ils efforts will look more like n Biuall p than like the capital P. I know an other man who can't make a small f : o save his life. He can never got the owcr part of the letter below the lino. [ Io makes it look llko a clubfootcd b Instead of an f. There are others who , when they try to make the small b , give it the long shank , and it looks more like the letter f. It is rather sin gular that these traits should hang on lo a man's writing for a lifetime , but they do it Just the same , and if you make a few Inquiries among your friends and acquaintances you will find that but few of them are exempt from this fault. "It is very much like the habit of spelling certain words Incorrectly. Many men who are rated as first class spoilers pass through life without over In a single Instance spelling certain words correctly. It Is due to habit largely. If you should ask them how to spell the word , they would toll you , but , when they go to write it , that Is quite different , and they will get it wrong every time. So they know , too , how certain Jotters should bo made , but they simply can't put thorn down on paper. It Is a curious but common fault. " ANIMAL ODDITIES. Birds never cat firellles and really socirf to shun their vicinity. North American reindeer usually se lect an old doe for their leader. The temperature of a swallow's body Is extraordinarily high , no less than 112 degrees F. Cats and beasts of prey reflect fifty times as much light from their eyes as human beings. The average lake trout lays 0,000 eggs each season , and the whltcflsh a greater number. The female English vlpor does not lay eggs. She hatches them Internally and brings forth her young alive. Parrots are usually vegetarians , though the Kea parrots of New Zea land have developed n fondness for Bheep. Garfish , sunfish , basking sharks and dolphins nil have the habit of swim ming with their eyes above the surface of the water. Yonr Signature. "I should be pleased to exchange cards with you , Mr. Barrow , " said Charles Wllllps , extending his. They had met for the first time. "I'm sorry I have no cards with me , " said Barrow. "Allow me to write my address in your " "Do know memorandum book. you that Is a very dangerous thing to do ? " Wllllps remarked. "It cost mo $240 once. I had tlio habit of carrying no cards and signing my name in a now friend's notebook , just as you are about to do in mine , always on a blank page. Ono day , after n convivial evenIng - Ing , I was presented with an I O U for that sura , duly signed by myself. It was impossible to dispute it I had to pay up. But I have never since been so free with my autograph. " "By George , I never thought of that ! " cried Barrow. "Suppose you write my name down yourself. " New York Press. A man never knows what a con fidence ho has until asked to tell a He to shield some one ho never liked very well anyway. Atchlson. Globe. n Hotel Hill In I'ortnjttil. In Portugal when the traveler asks for his bill the landlord pleasantly rubs his hands together and answers , "Whatever your excellency pleases to give. " This will not do , for the traveler is sure to offer too llttlo or too much and to be thought either1 a spendthrift or a nltfsnrd , HO ho has to make a speech , thank the landlord for hlH confidence and beg for a detailed statement. Then the landlord , politely deprecat ing anything of the kind , is slowly per suaded to check off the various Items upon the lingers of his hand , with n long argument before each successive finger Is done with and doubled down. "What does It come to ? " naks the traveler , taking out his purse at last , when the hand and the account are closed. "What , did his excellency not add up ? " Ills excellency having been 'Capable of this act of mental nrltln Tilc , the addition Is gone over again , from the llttlo Hngor backward , with a finger or two perhaps representing forgotten Items brought Into account from the other hand. The sum total is gladly paid , and host and guest are mutually content , the gnest knowing that bo has not been overcharged more than perhaps a thumb and two fingers. Ancient Needlework. Some of the oldest needlework extant was found In Egyptian and Egypto- Roman tombs a rough sort of flaxen cloth , like the bath toweling of our own day. It has loops of wool worked with Homo kind of needle , raised on ono side of the stuff only , and a kind of tapestry partly woven and partly outlined In needlework. The mummies which an Insatiable modern curiosity has disturbed arc wrapped In linen , as loss liable than woolen cloth to the ravages of moth , and the art of weav ing the flax that grow so plentifully on the banks of the Nile was probably learned by the Israelites during their sojourn In ITgypt Ezeklcl speaks of "fine linen with broldorcd work from Egypt. " Linen seems the natural ground and founda tion of all embroidery. It often lasts longer than the work itself , can be cleaned and will not fray or wear out , as do more costly silks and satins. London Spectator. An Old Roeliic. Here Is a recipe for the bite of a mad dog taken Irom the "Universal Maga zine of Knowledge , " published by John Hlnton at the King's Arms In Newgate street , London. May , 17,13 : "Take the youngest shoots of the older tree , peel off the outside rind , then , scraping off the green rind , take two handfuls of It , which simmer n quarter of an hour In live pints of ale. Strain it off and when cold put It in bottles. Take half a pint , make warm the first thing in tlio morning and the last at night and bo sure to keep yourself warm ; also bathe the part affected with some of tlio liquor warmed , the dose to bo repeated tbo next now or full moon after the first. It Is good for cattle as well us the human species. " Whim * of n Horse. The bettor the horse the more spirit ho has.The disposition of an Arab hunter Is thus described by Sowell Ford in "Horses Nine : " No paragon , however , was Pasha. lie had a tem per , and his whims were as many as those of a schoolgirl. He was particu lar as to who put on his bridle. He bad notions concerning the manner In which n currycomb should be used. A red ribbon or a bandanna handkerchief put him In a rngc , while green , the holy color of the Mohammedan , soothed his nerves. A lively pair of heels he had , and ha } ; now how to use his teeth. The Credit They Give Yon. "What is success ? " asked the maa with a liking for the abstruse. "Success , " answered the cynical friend , "Is something that Impels youi old acquaintances to smllo significantly and remark , 'A fool for luck.1" Comparison * ! . Miles That fellow Puffem reminds mo of a bass drum. Giles Hand it to mo slowly. I'm troubled with Ingrowing nerves. Miles He makes a lot of noise , bill there's nothing In him. WRESTLING WITH RUSSIAN. The Traveler "Wanted a Torvel nntl Finally Got It. A. II. Savage Lander , In bin book of travel , "Across Coveted Lands , " re lates an amusing railway Incident that occurred in Russia while bo was en route to Persia. "Unable to get at my towel" ? packed In my registered baggage and Ignorant of the Russian language , " ho Bays , "I inquired of a polyglot fellow passenger what was the Russian word for towel , so that I could ask the guard for ono. Palatlensi , ' f.aid ho , and I repeated palntlousl , flalaticnHl , palatlcnsl,1 seas as to Impress the word well upon my memory. Having enjoyed a good wash and a shampoo and dripping nil over with water , I rang for the guard , and. sure enough , when the man came I could not recollect the word. At last It dawned upon mo that It was 'pnlntln- skl , ' and 'palationskl' I asked of the guard. To my surprise the guard smiled graciously , 'and , putting on a modest air , replied , 'Palatlnski nlot , paruskP ( 'I do not speak Latin , I speak only Russian' ) , and the more 1 repeated - ed 'palatlnskl,1 putting the inflection nov011 one syllable , then on the other , to make him understand , the more flat- tcrcd the man seemed to bo , and mod estly gave the same answer. "This was incomprehensible to me un til my polyglot follow passenger came iny assistance. 'Do you know what you arc asking the guard ? ' ho said in convulsions of laughter. 'Yes , I am asking for n palatinskl a towel. ' 'No , you arc not ! ' and ho positively wont Into hysterics. 'Palatlnskl moans "Do you speak Latin ? " How can you expect - pect a Russian railway guard to speak Latin ? Look how Incensed the poor man Is at being mistaken for n Latin scholar ! Ask him for a palatlensi , and ho will run for n towel. ' "The man did run on the magic word being pronounced and duly returned with a nice clean palatlcnsl , which , however , was of litllo ufeo to me , fpr I bad by this time got dry by the natural processes of dripping evaporation. " Flciidlnli Hevcnee. The burglar softly opened the door of / the suburbanite's sleeping apartment , slipped Insldo and searched the room thoroughly , but found nothing worth stealing. "I'll got some satisfaction out of him , anyway ! " ho said. Thereupon ho sot the alarm clock on the bureau , for the hour of 3 and softly , - departed. Chicago Tribune. THE THIEF OF BEAUTY Is Captured "by Brndfleld's Regulator. Thousands of young women are awaking to the fact that inherited comliness has "been stolen , and instead of glowing cheeks and bright eyes , the tell-tale wrinkles of pain have taken their place. These are the warning feelings ! Weak and tired in the morning , no life to enter upon their former pleasures , irritable , cross , dull headaches , general dispirited feeling , sleepless nights , cold feet , "bear ing down"pains. . All these symptoms indicate deranged ami weakened organs , and exhausted energies follow the weak ened condition of the female organs as surely as night follows day. Save your self from worse results by taking BRADFIBLD'S Female jP.eg tilator The most invigorating menstrual regulator In the world. It relieves painful , profuse , obstructed or suppressed menstruation , nervousness , headaches , etce.tera. Beauty of face and symmetry of form are the re- sultsofitsuse. Ofdruggistaji. Ourbook , "Perfect Health for pmen. " free. IHE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO. , ATLANTA , OA.