8 THE NORFOLK NEWS : FRIDAY , FEBRUARY 0 , 1903
F NTIRELY JL
JUSTIFIABLE
By Hvk Willltvtni Mivlone
Oj > | .T < ubf , JWf , l\i \ tilt
S. . * ,
Brother IlankliiH wan up before Jus
tice Bradbury for assault and battery
Brother IlankliiH , who had nlwayn
considered "going to court" as the next
Dlep toward n trip lo Ilio nether re
gions.
Yet It WHH perfectly evident from the
proof that Brother IlankliiH was guilty
of the charge brought against him-
tlmt he had assaulted Deacon Kit
Bmlth. The deacon'H manifold and
manifest pcrmmal dcfnccmonU : proved
the facts , nnd the oatlm of vailoim wit
nesses clinched the proof.
Brother Ilauklns' cotinttcl mitight to
establish the plea that there were mill-
gating clreuniHtaneeH. and Brother
ITanklns was allowed to take the stand
In his own behalf. He pulled his foretop -
top In the way he had been taught WIIH
the proper thing when he wanted ( o
"UNO nuiniicr.s" and said :
"Yo' Bho' aln' no mo' s'prlscd to HCO
mo heah , Jedge. den I IB to bo Iienh , but
llcflli an' blood Is flesh an' blood , an'
dcy cnln' stan' no mo' don dey kin. "
"But you nro n minister of the gospel ,
Uncle Hank , nnd as such don't you
think It Is very unbecoming for you to
bo getting Into a common fight ? "
"But lemmo tell yo' , Jedge , dlH Uenh
nlu' no common fight , nn' cf nry OHO ob
my members had cr been cotch In uech
n box an' hadn' er fit I'd cr thavrt ho
mont be a putty good chu'ch member ,
but ho wn'n' no piece ob a man. "
"How Is that , Undo Hunk ? " aatd the
judge. "It Hcenis n very plnlu case of
assault and battery , and I don't HCO
Rvhcro the mitigating circumstances
pouie in. "
"Dat's bekase yo' haln' 'come tic-
tiualutod wld dem suckumslanccB an'
tain' Jes' zackly segasherfy how mill-
gatln' dey reely am , Jedge. Yo' see , I
[ tvuz do paster at Possum Holler , an'
Uero wn'n' nullln but pence an' good
twill in my congergasliun tell do ( Urn-
cons 'gun at me to marry. My wife , yo'
know , been dead sev'al mont's. "
"Well , you didn't object to that , did
you ? " And the Judge gave Uncle Han-
kins n knowing wink.
"Well , sab , 1 wa'n' Jes' zackly sho'
'bout du maltnh. 1 'lowed 1 wuz putty
comf'table wld my daughter Kyarllne ,
KG I said to do breddren cf hit's all do
eamo I'd Jos' stay Ink I wuz. But , no
enh ; dey 'low hit mont nick scnnnel , an'
lilt 'n'd be better fur do chu'ch ef I'd
git me a pnrdner film among do sis
ters ; dat hit kinder keep do sisters In a
Blow when do paster's a widow man. "
"Too many of them with an eye on
him , eh , Uncle Hank ? " put in the
Judge. >
"Well , I dunne 'bout dat , Jedge , " said
Uncle Hank modestly , "but de bred
dren dey put do matter so strong dnt I
fin'ly concluded dat ef Zlon cnln' pros
per under de prenchln1 ob a widow
man dat widow man could put u fltoj
to do trouble , an' so"
"So you concluded to take a wife , did
you ? "
"Well , not Jes' zackly dat strong ,
Jedge. I thawt I'd sorter browse erroun'
nn' ceo how de Ian' lay , an' ef my eye
light on do proper pusson an' do proper
pusson's eye light on me"
"Why. the matter would be easy
enough , of course. That's perfectly nat
ural , Uncle Hank. " The Judge's court
Bcemed for the time being to be trans
formed Into the court of Cupid.
"Well , snh , I browse erroun' 'moiigst
do sisters sev'al mont's an * come to dc
conclusion dat Slst' 'Mcrlcy Pcuder-
grass Jes' 'bout fill de bill , an' when I
'gauss de matter wld her she 'low she
haln' no dejection ; dat a minister's
.wife am a mos' lubly an' a mos * holy
calllu' . But Slst1 'Mcrlcy say she haln'
no regler 'bldlu' place , beln' a lady
what mos'Iy hlahs out , so de weddln'
'u'd hatter be kinder prlvlt , douten no
kyards. no poun' cuke , no to-do ob no
gawt.
"But dat sawtcr dldn' suit me. t stole
my fus' wife , hit belli" slave times , an'
I Jes' haul n feelln' dnt cf I gwlne marry
crgln I dltln1 want no sncakln' oft" in de
dawk onbeknownst lak , so I tole Slst'
'ilerlcy dat cz I wuz enterhi' de holy
state ob mattermony fur de good ob de
chu'ch ( not moauln' no slnnywations
'ginst de lady ) I 'low de chu'ch ort to
stand do spouse , nil' I 'nouiice at my
next 'p'lntment dat dere 'u'd bo persced
lu's ob mos' ouushal intrust at my
daughter Kyarllne's de next Tuesday
night an' all dcui dat wue willln' to
fetch a poun' er so ob welcome needn'
6tan' back fur no fuddcr Invite.
"Dey cotch on , an' ebberwhoh 1 went
fur de nex * few days yo' could smell dc
pouu" cakes an * dc fowels. Dc deacons
dey all seem mighty pleased an * 'low
bit's de bes' t'lng could cr happened to
de chu'ch. meunln' dat I wa'n' gwine
stay a widow rmui no longer. An' Slst1
'Merlcy she wuz Jes' ez snillln' OB a
basket ob chips , an' I dldn' no mo' dls
trus' 'er den I dlstrus' yo' bonnah on
de bench. I made sho' she wuz straight
goods , all wool an' a yard wide AH' no
spots.
"So 1 bustle erroun' an * scratch up de
money fur de license , a-feellu1 mo' eel
tleder an' mo' contentcder den I Is
eence my fus' wife went to glory. "
Here Uncle Hank paused , and a
shadow fell athwart his wrinkled face ,
The J ndge suggested :
"Did the wedding coine off on time ,
Uncle Hank ? "
Uncle Hunk wiped hla brow reflec
tively nnd answered after sonio keulta-
Uoa :
"Well , Jc < Uv , yo1 nioul ny lilt did , an *
rgln yo' inout say lilt illiln' , 'eonllii' to
, lo way yo1 look nt do matter. F'um din
icnli ctilluil PIIHBOII'B fltan'p'lnt I'd nay
no , Mali , do wcddln' dldn' coinu off
rordln' to 'p'lnlincnt ,
"My daughter Kyiirllnn Inili obbor-
HUB ready , uu' do way do pIcH nn1
akes mi' fowcls wins lining In brat du
HI ml , Do 'rniigomont wuz dat Deacon
Kit .Smith , dat white eyed Hcounnol
iber ilero fornlnst yo' linutiali , " and
Undo Hank glared nt tlio lirotlier men *
limed "lio wiiTi to fetch do brldo an *
lo license to Kyarllno's at early candle-
Ightln' , nn' do woddln' 'u'd don per-
need. Now , Hah , Jet * ' dar'B wliali do Ju
Ian Honrlat coino In. "
"Didn't Deacon Smith bring tlio
ride. Undo Hank ? " linked tlio Judge ,
With IlltcreBt.
"Dldn' ho lining do brldo ? " And Un-
Ic llntik'H eyed nhot lurid llninoH at
Deacon Smith over "fornliiHt" the
udge. "Dldn' ho bruiiK do lirldo ? Yen ,
Hah , ho lining do brldo , nil Hilled oT ( to
Mil. Itul wbon lie draw dnt license on
no what yo' t'lnk dat son of"
"Ite careful , Undo Hank , " admonish-
'd the Judge.
"What yo' t'lnk dill white eyed hip-
icrcrlt done ? Why , Rah , ho had his
own tiaino put In do license to marry
MlKH'Morlcy PendcrgraBB 'ntld ob mine ,
nn' 'fo' I could Kit a grab on what WUK
gwlno on , I boln' tectotally flambiiBtl-
cated , ho an * 'Morley Btood up bcfo' do
preacher , nil' , fiah , ho had 'cm mnrrlcd
tight an' fnH1 , an' mo scttln" dere , wld
my mouf open , plumb struck dumb !
An * dnt alu * nil , Bnh. When dc aurry-
money wins obcr , dnt vllyun yes , Bali ,
Bald hit , nn1 I fitau1 ready to pay do
damage tint vllyun como up to mo nn'
Bay , ho did' :
" "Fours Ink dcre's n llttlo mistake
n dc bridegroom , but or. do bride Bald
fllio puffer me , an1 you wuz gwlno Inter
lo mntter fur do good ob do chu'ch ,
Itruddor llanklns , dcro nccdn' bo no
mini feelln's. Iladn' wo nil bolter sot
ilown to Hupper ? '
"Yen , Bali ; dat'a do proppcrslshun ho
nek me , staiulln' dcro In my gal Kyar-
llne'H house , wld my brldo n-hangln1
i\\ \ his arm ! An' , IIOHS , ez I said at do
ftm' , I al'i' niillliriiut flesh nn' blood of
I IB n preacher. When bo como nt mo
lut erway an * lilt flash obor mo dat helene
lone Hlolo my brldo an' now bo's trylu'
to Hteal my weddlu' supper , do 11 call
got do lies' ob do Bperrlt , Jedgo , an' I
let ( ly nt dat nigger an' you know do
res' . " Uncle llniiklns gave a satlsllcd
glance at the court plastered , mutilated
features of his treacherous rival and
sat down amid something that sounded
very like suppressed applause.
Squire Bradbury took his quid of to
bacco from bis mouth , put on Ids most
magisterial air and said :
"After ItearhiK the testimony the
court Is of opinion that this Is a plain
case of Jnstlllnhle assault and Unit Par
son llanUlns only performed his slmplo
duty In the premises. The prisoner Is
discharged. 1C Deacon Ell Smith docs
not come up promptly and settle the
costs In this case , ho can have tlio
pleasure of spending his honeymoon in
the workhouse. "
UU KnlttliiK Work.
Aunt Alvlra Flfor was what her
neighbors called n "regular driver. "
Possessed of untiring energy and un
failing strength herself , she nmdo llttlo
allowance for Idleness on the part of
any one , and she declared , says u con
tributor to Llpplncott's Magazine , that
she could "put up with a mean mtui
easier than with n Inzy one. "
Aunt Alvlra's husband , Uncle Ethan ,
wns a small , wizened , weak looking
man , whom Aunt Alvlra declared to be
"mighty wiry , If ho did look so spin-
dllu1. "
One day a summer boarder who
elm need to be staying nt n farmhouse
near the FIfcr homestead wandered
over to the little brown farmhouse and
sat down for a chat with Aunt Alvlrn.
The visitor took note of the enormous
quantity of stove wood piled up in the
back yard and overflowing from tbo
great woodshed. The whole ynrd
strewn with It. The caller estimated
that there were not less than twenty-
flvo cords.
"What nn enormous quantity of wood
you hnvel" he snld to Aunt Flfer.
"Yes , there Is considerable , " she re
plied. "I cal'lato on scllln' most o' It
In the full. "
"Who cut It ? "
"Oh. Ethan did It ns sort o' knlttin'
work. 1 think it's n good thing for a
man to have some kind o' knlttin'
work to do when he's rcstln' , and that
wood pile has been Ethan's knlttin'
work. "
POC'M Smile of Genlui.
Ills mouth was like Apollo's bow un
bent and In the natural curve said sorrow
row , with Imagination , but when
wreathed into smiles by any cheering
inflorescence of his soul , disclosing a
set of Ivory teeth ns evenly set ns tbe
opal walls of Eden , was absolutely cap
tivating and beautiful. So remarka
bly pleasing was this transition from
sadness to sunshiny gladness of hilari
ty that I now seem to sec him smiling
before me , lighting up the dim vistas ol
my memory as the rain fraught light
ning docs the darkness of n surnuici
night. Rut there was this peculiarity
about his smile , which I do not rcmcm
ber ever to have seen In any other per
sou namely , that it did not appear to
be the result of gladness of heart alto
gether or gladness mixed with sorrow ,
but a pleasing satire , a smiling review
of alt that had just been said by him ,
like the triumphant world renovating
laughter of the weeping heavens , ex
pressive of that beautiful Apollonian
disdain which seemed to say , "What
you 'sec through a glass darkly1 I be
hold through the couched eye of an il
luminated seer. " Not only did he look
this , but he felt It-felt it with all bis
inmost soul. It was , In the truest ac
ceptance of the term , a smile of genius.
-"The Foe-Culvers Papers" In Century.
A COPY OF THE KORAN ,
n FarrlKnrr Mtint Oo About
Puri'luiMliiM ; II In niniiiliiinl ,
In Htnmboul there are several book-
fltores ( he proprietors of which are ei
ther Pei'Man * , ArablaiiH , AbyHslnlaiiH
or TurkM. Not In the frequented streets
arc I hew ? HtnreH , but In dark and nar
row alloy * , The IxmKH In thiMii com-
III-IHO various editions of the Kotan ,
translated Into all the languages of the
orient , theological and historical trea-
UHCH mi the Koran In the Turklxh , Per
sian mid Amble longticH , annals which
clearly prove ( hut all ( he sullaim of the
Ottoman dyniiHty were prodigies of
genlim and sanctity ; nmrvdnim fairy
tales and Merion of adventure , which
are more or ICHN fantastic and the solo
object of which IH to prove that no one
Hliould be considered honest , Intelligent
or happy unless he IH a Turkish Mus
sulman , unlcHH he venerates the Htiltiin ,
unlcsH ho lives In Klamboul all his life
without over quitting It oven for a day
and unless he regards as utterly fabu
lous all that he hears about Europe.
A Mussulman IH forbidden to Hell n
copy of the Koran , and therefore a for
eigner who desires to purchnHO the sa
cred book miiRt proceed as follows : Go
Into the hookHlorc , having on your face
OH pious an expression as pORnlblo , and
say to the proprietor :
"I nhnll consider myself eternally In
debted to you If you will present mo
with n copy of the Kornn. "
An I am a devout believer , " the pro
prietor will niiBwer , "I think It my duty
to assist any unbeliever who desires to
instruct himself In our law. Moreover ,
you nccm to be n serious man , nnd I
am convinced that It Is not vntn curi
osity which prompts you to obtain a
copy of the Koran , but a sincere dcslro
to study our religion. Q'hereforo ' I am
willing to make you a present of thin
copy , though I value It highly , for I
paid a good price for It. "
You will then put the book In your
pocket , and a minute or two later the
proprietor will say , "I shall consider
myself eternally your debtor if you
will ninke mo a present of - , " nam
ing n certain sum. If you think the
price too high , you may bargain with
him , but you must take care not to
make the slightest allusion to the copy
of the Koran In your pocket , for in dis
posing of It the proprietor has clearly
broken the law , and it would not bo
good policy for you to remind him of
that fact.
_
EARLY MILLIONAIRES.
Aplclns expended In gluttony $2,000-
000.
Esopls paid for a single dish $ -100-
000.
Caligula spent for one supper $ -100- ,
000.
Hellogabalus .spent for one meal $100-
000.
Lucullus usually paid $100,000 for a
repast.
The philosopher Seneca bad a fortune
$12,500,000.
I.ontuliiH , the soothsayer , had n for-
uno of $10,500,000.
The sum of $2,000,000 was paid for
he house of Antony.
Cii'sar before he entered upon any
otllco owed nearly $11,000,000.
Tiberius at his death left $118,12--
000 , which Caligula spent In less than
en mouths.
Croesus possessed hi landed property
n fortune equal to $8,000,000 , besides n
urge sum of money , slaves nnd furni
ture.
Antony owed $1,500,000 at the ides
of March , paid it before the calends of
April nnd squandered $73,500,000 of the
public money.
The Servant Problem Not New.
StudontJ of household management
will learn with satisfaction that In 150U
many of the evils now to be complained
of were distinctly recognized. Some of
the more curious lines which were Im
posed'by a country gentleman upon of
fending servants were a penny for leav
ing a door open , missing prayers , leav
ing beds unmade after 8 ( presumably
u. in. ) , and cooks could only hove fol
lowers at the rate of a penny line for
each one. A curious custom seems to
have then existed that entree to the
house was denied during the family
meals , and as the tine for allowing a
breach of this custom was heavy It maybe
bo presumed that the sin was esteemed
great. .
Taking No Chnncea.
"Now , Freddie , go and kiss yoi\r llttlo
sweetheart and make It up , " said Fred-
die's mother.
"No , 1 won't. "
"Go and tell her how much you love
her and how sorry'you are. "
"No , 1 won't. Pa says he got into a
breach of promise case by telling a girl
that nnd had to marry the old thing. 1
won't run any risks , 1 won't. " London
Tit-Hits.
A Modern Annuln * .
Mrs. Matelund Henry , I wonder If
you love me as much as you used to
love me before we were married. You
never say the pretty things to mo that
you did In those days.
Mr. Matehind That's because I love
you more than 1 did then , dear. I love
you too much now to lie to you , you
know. Host on Transcript.
Wn Kcononilcully Inclined.
WniitunnoAnd is your friend strong
in the faculty known as "saving com
mon sense ? "
Duzno Ilemarkably BO. When it
comes to saving common sense , he Is n
regular miser. I never knew him to
me a particle of It In my life. Haiti-
more American.
If you argue with a fool , he will get
the best of you. Theories In the hands
of a fool are always stronger than facts
In the hands of a man of sense. Atchl-
ton Globe.
F en Hnntu In Kentucky.
lit the Kentucky bottom lands along
the lower Ohio nnd tin tributaries the
apple orchnrdH nnd "sugnr l > nnh" are
thlngH of tradition , flays the Indlnnnp-
oils NOWB. Their places have been tak
en by the pccnii , which yields n much
greater revenue. The pecan orchard IH
umuilly distributed throughout one of
these Immense cornfields of several
hundred HITCH that formed the ante
bellum plantations. Here they nro en
riched by constant cultlvnllon ns well
nfl by the fertilizer from the ovetllow
of the Ohio that occurs always once
nnd frequently oftencr n fit-anon. The
pecan Hi'UHon opens special festivities.
Society In the neighboring towim and
cities takes It up most enthusiastically
with pecan "tours , " picnics , dinners In
truth , all varieties of fetes that such In-
gonulty can originate. The right to
gnther the nuts U purchased and n pro
fessional climber hired. A woods din
ner IH the most pleasing feature of the
occasion bacon , chicken , broiled on a
spit before n fragrant lire ; Irish pota
toes nnd the real , old fashioned red
ewcelH , onions baked In n crater of hot
coals , klmmel rye bread , roasted cheese ,
gingerbread nnd crabnpple elder from
the farmhouse.
Three Cm Ion * Word * .
Filibuster , freebooter and buccaneer
nro worda curiously Interrelated. The
French and the English sea adventur
ers once inado common cause against
Spanish Bcttlcmcnta In the now world ,
and all three of these words came in
time to describe the rude sea soldiers
who despoiled the Spanish main and
the towns upon the coasts of the Span
ish possessions. Filibuster Is said to
be the result of an attempt to make n
French word of freebooter , and the
English borrowed it back from the
-French been HBO It sounded less frankly
brutal than the English word.
Buccnnacr was originally French in
form , and It meant at flrst one who
hunted the boucan or wild cattle and
hogs of the West Indies ; then one who
made Jerked meat of their flesh , and
finally , because this meat was used to
provision the ships of the BCU rovers , a
filibuster or freebooter.
lluntlimr the Wild Hour.
In Germany the boar hunt occurs an
nually. Trained hounds are held In
leash until the lair of the boars is sniff
ed , and then they are let go. Off rush
the bristling beasts. They run fast ,
and the faster they skip along the wild
er nnd "madder" they get. Sometimes
they are shot , but the correct style of
killing Is to use a long spear or a short
swordltke knife. The hunter Bplcs his
boarshlp speeding along In nn almost
straight Hue , blinded with rage and
ferocity. Bending over sideways to the
earth , the sportsman thrusts his spear
dull end downward In the soil and the
Bhnrp point slanting upward and turn
ed directly to the boar's path. Straighten
on the wild hog rushes , and with all
the impetus of his long ( light he plunges
upon the spear poliu iu.il there , Impaled ,
dies n bloody death.
"Ich Dlcii" or "I-lcIi Dyn. "
"Ich dlen , " the motto which belongs
to the Prince of Wales , Is usually
translated "I serve , " and tradition has
it that it was taken by the Black
Prince from the royal helmet of the
blind king of Bohemia , who was killed
on the field of Crecy. It Is a notable
'act ' , however , that the late Dr. Wil-
lam lime , professor of English litera-
ure at Heidelberg , rejected this the
ory. He held that the motto was of
Welsh origin and took its rise at the
time when Edward I. presented his
newborn eldest son to the Wclah chlef-
alns at Carnarbaii castle as their fu
ll ro sovereign. He held the child up
n his arms and exclaimed In Welsh ,
'Elch dyn , " meaning "this Is your
man. " The explanation Is accepted by
many antiquarians.
& llnlii In London.
No stranger can do business In Lon
don without n silk hat. It Is the style
from Monday to Saturday to wear this
kind of head covering , with a frock
coat , and on Sunday to appear In a
"boulder" ( the conventional derby ) nnd
11 sack. Cutaways are much worn with
silk bats , and not Infrequently dressy
men are seen In the outlandish combi
nation of silk lint and sack. New York
Press.
How ShliiH Arc Nnined.
French ships are usually named after
French provinces or towns , victories.
Ideas 'or sentiments , but no French
names , excepting those of great men In
their history , are made use of. German
ships bear the names of German rivers ,
ports , poets , states and characters In
German literature. Spanish ships are
almost Invariably named after their
cities or great commanders.
Parent * .
Here Is a little gem clipped from a
small boy's essay on parents : "Parents
ore things which boys have to look aft
er them. Most girls also have parents.
Parents consist of pas and mas. Pas
talk n good deal about what they are
going to do , but mostly It's the mas
that make you mind. "
The Knuy Wny.
A schoolboy , being usked by his
tenchcr bow he should flog him , re
plied :
"If you please , sir , I should like It
upon the Italian system of penman-
Bhlp the upward stroke heavy nnd the
down one light. "
. The Trouble In Argrulntf.
Nine out of ten persons with whom
you argue say , "But you don't under-
tnnd ! " That's what you think about
them they don't understand. Atchl-
ton Globe.
Some claim that coeducation encour
ages mntrimony. Why not ? Isn't mat
rimony coeducation ? Saturday Even
ing Post.
Neighbors
Mackerel , tea , cheese , kerosene
and soda crackers live together at the store
Mackerel , tea , cheese and kerosene
have strong flavors
Soda crackers have a delicate flavor
All exposed to the air together
What's the result ?
The soda crackers lose their own flavor
and absorb the flavor of their neighbors
Unless the soda crackers are Uneeda
Biscuit in the In-er-seal Package
with red and white seal , which protects
their flavor and.keeps them fresh
y NATIONAL BISCUIT. COMPANY i <
{
A COOL FISHERMAN ,
The Story of Hovr He Landed a Great
Dlff Deautjr *
Row slowly now. A little nearer to
the shore. There , that's right. Steady ,
now. TliLi eddy looks like a good place.
The left oar ; just u little. There , that's
fine. Just by these Illy puds n large one
was caught the other day. Gee whiz !
Did you see that ? A strike , nnd he
was u beauty , too an eight pounder ,
I'll bet. Buck wutcr , quick , till I try
him again. Steady , now. This is the
*
place. I guess we've uilsscd him. No ,
by Jove , there he was agalnl He's
got It ; he's got it ! Turn her out Into
deep water. He's In the Illy pads now
and a goner sure ! Thunderatlon , and
he was n monster ! Must have weighed
nt least ten pounds. No ; there he is !
He Is still hooked ; ho Is all right ; he Is
free from the lilies ; he la free ! Steady ,
now. Put the oars In the boat. See the
pole. lie bends It nearly double. And
doesn't he make the reel sing ! Now
he has turned. He Is coming toward
us ! Hand me that landing net ! Quick ,
quick ! He Is going under the boat ! He
will snap the line ! Holy smoke , there
he KOCH ! Cirub the line grab the line ,
I say ! Have you got It ? Keep him
fast , now. .lust a second. Steady , now.
There he goes into the net. Here he is
In the boat. We have him. He Is safe.
And Isn't he a beauty ? Isn't he n beau
ty , a dandy , a crnckcrjack , a peach ?
lie will go above six pounds , If he
weighs an ounce. Wasn't he lively ?
Did you sec him make that three foot
leap out of the water ? You didn't ?
Man , where were your eyes ? Row In
now , and wo will weigh him. How
much did you say ? Four pounds and
two ounces ! Pshaw ! That can't be
Ight. Your scales are not accurate.
Well , he's a beauty anyway. It took a
full half hour to tire him out and land
ilm. Three minutes , you say ! Oh ,
you're mistaken ! That can't possibly
be. 1J was surely longer than that ! He
was a lighter to the last. Excited when
I caught him ! Naw ; not a bit ! Cool us
n cucumber Just as I nm now. He cer-
tuinly Is a beauty. Forest and Stream.
THE OLD WOOD FIRE.
PnttlnK the IIIBIlncklosr In Place
\Vn Quite n Job.
After the evening chores were done
my futher woulfl appear In the doorway
with the big backlog coated with snow ,
often of njuplcr girth than himself and
fully breast high to him as he held It
upright , canting It one way and anoth
er and walking It before him on its
wedge shaped end. He would perhaps
stand It against the chimney while he
took a breathing spell and planned his
campaign. Then , the andirons hauled
forward on the hearth and the bed of
half burned brands and live coals raked
open , the icy log was walked Into th
chimney , where a skillful turn would
lay it over , hissing and steaming , in its
Inlr of hot embers. It seemed a thing
alive , and Its vehement sputtering and
protesting made u dramatic moment for
nt least one small spectator.
The stout shovel nud tongs or perhaps
a piece of firewood used as a lever
would force It against the chimney
buck ; then u good sized stick , culled n
"back stick , " was laid on top of It , and
the andirons were set In plnce. Across
the andirons another good sized stick
was laid , called a "fore stick , " and In
the interspace smaller sticks were
crossed and thrust and piled , all quick
ly kindled by the live coals and brands.
In very cold weather a fire was kept
burning all night , our father getting up
once or twice to replenish It. Even In
summer the coals rarely became ex
tinct. A good heap of them covered
with embers at bedtime would be found
alive when raked open in the morning.
J. T. Trowbrldge in Atlantic.
The IlrlUnl Wrrnth.
The bridal wreath Is usually formed
of myrtle branches in Germany. It la
made of orange blossoms in Frnnce as
well ns In the United States. In Italy
and the French cantons of Switzer
land it Is of white roses. In Spain the
flowers of which It Is composed arc red
roses and pinks. In the islands of
Greece vine leaves serve the purpose ,
and hi Bohemia rosemary is employed.
In Qermnn Switzerland a crown of
artificial flowers takes the place of the
wreath.
Where Wives Are nought.
Wives are still obtained by pur
chase in parts of Russian Europe. In
the district of Kamyschln , on the Vol
ga , for example , this Is practically the
only way In which man-luges are
brought about. The price of n pret
ty girl from a well-to-do family ranges
from $50 to $100 , and In special casea
u much higher sum Is obtained. In
the vlllnges the lowest price Is about
$25. It Is cufltomnry for the fathers of
the Intending bride and bridegroom to
haggle for a long time over the price to
be paid for the lady. A young farmer
whose father cannot afford to pay for a
wife for him need not think of getting
narrlcd. Pearson's Weekly.
.Tames Haworth , aged 81 years , In
tends to pull n bell rope In St. Paul's
cathedral on coronation day. lie rang
the bells for the death of William IV.
for the accession of Queen Victoria ,
the birth of all her children nnd her
two Jubilees , nnd for the accession of
Edward VII.
As a result of the mild weather In
Russia shrew mice have appeared in
great numbers In the fields , doing
great damage to crops.
A publisher in St. Petersburg has
Issued a directory giving , In 228 pages ,
the addresses of all the phnrinaciea
and drug stores in Russia.
A Parndux.
"I would rather be right than be
president , " said the statesman.
"Well " siild the friend " '
, , "It's n little
paradoxical , but I suppose it's proper.
You say in substance that for the sake
of being right you are willing to be
left. " Washington Star.
Stron ST.
Wife Are you euro you caught this
flsh ?
Mr. Guyfello Of course.
Wife It smells very strong.
Mr. Gayfello Strong ? I should say
It was. It nearly pulled me overboard.
New York Weekly.
Too IlCRnlnr.
"For ten years , " said the new par
taker at a boarding house , "my habita
were as regular as clockwork. I rosa
on the stroke of 0. Half an hour later
I sat down to breakfast. At 7 I was
at work , dined at 12 , nte supper nt 0
and wus in bed at 0:30. : I ate only
healthy food nnd hadn't a sick day in
all that time. "
"Dear me ! " asked the deacon in sym
pathetic tones. "And what were you infer
for ? "
An awful silence ensued. Kansas
City Independent.
STORK
TffME
to most women is a term of ]
anxiety , serious thought I
niulswect _ anticipation.
With the cessation of j > ain
necessary to childbirth ,
there comes calm nerves ,
sleep and recuperation.
MOTHER'S
FRIEND
docs diminish the pain accompanying
maternity. With its aid mothers can and
do bring healthy , sweet dispositioned
nnd ideal babies into the world.
Morninir sickness , sore breasts nml * -
eructating pains caused by the gradually
expanding organs , are relieved by this
penetrating and relaxing liniment.
Among the manifold aids to childbirth
Mothers Friend has grown in popularity
nnd gained n prestige among rich women
as well as poor ; it is found and welcomed
in the mansion ns well ns in the cabin. t
By lessening the mother's agony of mind
nmlditniiiishingpain a beautiful influence
is wrought upon the child , and instead of
peevish , ill-tempered nnd sickly forms you
IiavQ healthy , laughing humanity , remain
ing a blessing ever to you nnd its country.
Alt Dniggitts ncll Mother's 1'rirnd at } i.oo.
Write for our Ire * Book "MotUerhood"
THE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO. , Allantt , Gi.