8 T1IK NORFOLK NEWS : F1UDAY. JANUARY 30 , 1903
00 * C
AFTER tits
STORM
By Wllllivm Hnvon Ron
S. & . .VrCIurr
The hurricane had died out , and the
only trace of the storm upon the wa
ters was the heavy swell which ( osscd
the ship's longboat
The nun shone with tropical fervor
upon the three occupants of the little
craft. Not a nail was within the per
spective , and no long wreath upon the
horizon gave sign of the presence ot n
utcamtihlp.
At the bottom of tha boat , his head
resting upon the lap of a young worn-
nn , a man lay. Ills face was while
nnd drawn , and the glitter of his eyes
told of extreme physical weakness.
The other man sat upon the stern
thwart and watched HCII and /ky with
iinxlous guzo. The woman's face had
the apathy of prolonged suffering.
"Water ! Wat or ! " murmured the
man nt the bottom of the boat.
"Hnvo patience , Tom , " sold the wom
an In n inoi'lianloal voice.Ve are In
the track of ships and must be rescued
noon. "
"No , " said Tom faintly ; "you will bo
Bftvcd you nnd Dick but not I. "
Dick glanced at him In pity , but re
mained nllunt. The woman pushed
back the matted hair from Tom's eyes
with feeble fingers , but made no reply.
The look of death was on the face pil
lowed upon her knee.
Three days had passed since Tom
nnd Kate , passengers , and Dick , mus
ter mariner , had abandoned the sink
ing bark West Wind , bound from Ulo
to New York. Of the fate of their
shipmates they had no knowledge.
They had gone without food and with
out drink , and Uie weight of sheer ex
haustion had begun to deaden their
SCIlHCfl.
Finally Tom spoke again. Ho looked
Dick in the face searchlngly and said :
"Will you forglvo me , lllchard ? I
could die happier If you would. Kato
.will never forgive me , but you might"
"Forglvo you ! " exclaimed Dick won-
flerlngly. "Why , what have yon done ? "
"You always loved Kato , " said Tom.
"Yes , " replied Dick very slowly and
nftcr a pause ; "I always loved her. "
"And she always loved you , " said
Tom.
Dick half started from the thwart ,
but cheeked himself.
The woman turned her face away.
"I came between you , " said Tom. "I
did you both a wrong , lint , oh , how
I have suffered ! You can't realize , Dick
you will never realize the agony of
mock possession , the anguish of having
n wlfo who In her heart loathes your
( slightest caress. She never loved me ,
Dick , nnd 1 have been kind and good to
her always. Hut what nro kindness and
goodness to n woman when she does
not lovu you ? Nothing , Dick , .worse
than nothing ! "
"I don't understand you at all , " said
Dick. " 1 know that you're out of your
;
head. Speak to him , Kate ; It may
quiet him. "
Hut Kato neither spoke nor turned
her head.
"No ; you will understand , " said Toui ,
jvlth more emphasis. "I'm going to
tell you something. If I were not dy
ing , perhaps you would kill me for It ,
but I would not care. I do not want to
live unless I can have Kate. "
"Have Kato ! " repeated Dick. "Why ,
man , she's your wife ! "
"No , no ! " cried Tom weakly. "She
never was my wlfo ! It was only an
empty ceremony that shackled her to
me. She was always yours , Dick , and
yours only. Soon she will be yours for
ever. "
"Speak to him. Kate. He's raving , "
aid Dick hoarsely , but she sat as If
stone , watching the sky Hue.
"You see , " said Tom , "she will not
He even to soothe , and she Is right , for
lies are useless. I knew she loved you i ,
nnd I lied to keep you apart You
thought It was friendship and kind I-
ness that made you master of my West
Wind , but that was the first syllable
of my lie. I wanted to put half the
( world between you two , so I made you
captain of my best bark and chartered
her for China. Then the lie grew and
grewIt was 1 who had published lu
New York and copied in the homo
newspapers the lying notice that you
married a woman in New York the
day before you sailed. After Kate had
road the lie she thought the world was
ot an end for her , so she married mo.
Now you know It all except what I
have suffered. You can never realize
that"
There now was a deep flush upon
Kate's cheek , and Dick was bending
forward , speechless and glowering. igd
"You won't forgive me , then ? " asked
Tom pleadingly. "Sho will soon be
yours , and and and I've left her ev
erything. "
"Blast you and your money I" cried
Dick , now upon hla unsteady feet with
a threatening gesture. tud
But Kate , who still sat with averted
gaze , put her arm across Tom's face as
if to protect him , and Dick sank back
sullenly upon the thwart and turned
his head away too. Thus they remain
ed for many minutes. But when Dick
again turned his eyes to the horizon he
ticu.
could scarcely restrain an exclamation.
Far away upon the cdgo of the wa
ters was a sail.
It then was but a tiny blur , but the
liea
prescient eye of the sailor saw at n
glance that the vessel was southbound
and sailing toward them. If the wind
held In the same direction , the ship
would be apt to make a long reach be
fore going about and must surely pass
to near that they would be sighted.
Dick looked at Tom and then at
Kate , while a battle raged In hln soul.
" HHf'
The excitement which had sustained
the nick iniin during the morning had
passed , and Dick could see plainly
enough thill the reaction was tugging
hard upon the frail Htrnnd of life. Vet
ho luulprstoixl that he had at command
an potent a stimulant us wax over compounded -
pounded by a pharmacist.
It was hopol
In an hour or two the approaching
vessel would bo within ( Milling dis
tance. Another hour or two meant life
or death to Tom. If ho knew that res
cue , food , drink and comfortable quar
ters were but n few dwindling miles
away , existence would grow sweeter
to the wealthy shipowner and Importer ,
and the Innnto love of life might buoy
him through the crisis.
"Hliull I speakV" ho naked of him
self ,
If Tom dlcd-but he tried to put that
out of his mind. How he loved and
had longed for the woman lia faced !
A Illckcrlng spark was all that kept
thorn apart. Should ho fan It Into n
blaze or let It go out forever ?
At last Tom again opened his eyes ,
and , looking htm In tha face with a
pitiful , pleading expression , ho feebly
put forth his hand.
"Forgive me , " ho whispered In a
voice of utter weakness. Kate bent
over and kissed him kissed him as a
mother might her child.
Dick drew a long breath , and a tremor
shook him like an ague Npasui ,
"A sail I" ho cried hoarsely and rose
unsteadily. For a moment ho swayed
with the rocking of the boat , pointing
straight ahead , and then he sank upon
his knees and took Tom's hand in his
own.
"Tom , " ho said , "rouse up , man , and
listen to mo. There's n ship coming.
She's not flro miles away. Think of it ,
man something to drink and plenty to
eat. Don't weaken now after all you'vo
boon through. Lot the past bo bygones.
Live It out and bo happy. "
"A ship In sight ! " gasped Tom. "Oh ,
let mo nee her ! "
It taxed Dick's falling strength to the
utmost , but he lifted him to his knees
and held him thus while ho looked long
ingly at the distant sail. For a brief
space the luster of hope rekindled the
Ore of falling vision , but It was only for
a moment. A film beclouded his eye
again , and he sank back to the bottom
of the boat with a gasp.
"Too late , " ho murmured , "too late
for mel"
When Dick looked up , ho met Kate's
gaze. It was a calm , steady look she
gave him and the llrst since Tom began
his story. Dick felt meaner and guilt
ier than ho had ever felt before. Ho
hud to do something to distract her
eyes.
"The sail I" ho said , pointing over the
waters. "Why don't you look ? "
"I saw It , " said she , "two hours ago. "
"And you were waiting for me to tell
Tom of It ?
"Yes , " replied Kate , "and how I
should have despised you If you had
not"
The ship's crew answered Dick's
faint hall with shouts of encourage
ment , nnd the vessel luffed up into the
wind with Happing sails. A boat skip
pered by the mate was lowered and
towed the castaways alongside the
ship's quarter.
"How arc they ? " asked the captain
ns ho leaned over the rail and looked
down upon the recumbent figures lu
the boat , for Dick had collapsed.
"Ono man Is gone , I think , sir , " said
the mate nftcr holding his hand over
Tom's heart
"Yes , " said Kate ; "my husband Is
dead. "
U e of Turpentine.
Turpentine , either In resinous form erIn
In spirits , has a household value. A
child suffering with the croup or nny
throat or lung dlfllculty will bo quickly
.
ly relieved by Inhaling the vapor and
having the chest rubbed until the skin
is red nnd then being wrapped about
with fiauncl moistened with fiery spir
its. Afterward sweet oil will save the
skin from irritation. In the case of
burns and scalds turpentine has no
equal. It is the best dressing for pat
cnt leather ; It will remove paint from
artists' clothes and workmen's gar-
incuts ; It will drive away moths If a
Ifew drops are put into closets and
chests ; It will persuade mice to find
other quarters If a little Is poured Into
the mouse holes ; ono tablespoouful add-
ed to the water In which linens are
boiled will make the goods wonderful-
ly white ; a few drops will prevent
starch from sticking ; mixed with bees
wax It makes the best floor polish , ant
mixed with sweet oil It Is unrivaled as
a polish for fine furniture ; the latter
mixture should bo two parts of sweet
oil to one part of turpentine. Some
physicians recommend spirits of tur
pcntlne , applied externally , for lumba
go and ihoumntlsm. It Is also pro
scribed for neuralgia of the face. Wo
man's Home Companion.
Dinner * In the Old Day * .
Dinner was a substantial affair In tin
relgu of the maiden queen , who wa :
by no means Indifferent to the pleas
ures of the table. The first course on
great occasions , says a contemporary ,
would probably be wheaten flummery ,
tewed broth , spinach broth , gruel or ;
hotenpotch. The second consisted of
fish , among which we may note lampreys -
nla
preys , stockfish and sturgeon , with sld
dishes of porpoise. The third cours *
comprised quaking puddings , bag pud -
dings , black puddings , white pudding
and narrow puddings. Then came vca
beef , capons , humble pie , mutton , mar !
row pasties , Scotch collopa , wild fowl
ivls
and game. In the fifth course all kinds
of sweets , creams in all their varieties ,
custards , cheese , cukes , Jellies , warden
pics , junkets , syllabubs , and so on , to
be followed perhaps by white cheese
and tansy cake ; for the drinks , ale and
beer , wino , sack and numerous vario-
loot
tles of mead or metheglln , some of
which were concocted out of as many
as five and twenty herbs and were red
olent of sweet country perfume.
PERSISTENT LOVERS.
r . , - _ ,
WOMEN WHO wnne MARRIED IN
SPITE OF THEMSELVES.
Rome nintrlmonlnl IJiiirrli-nrm Tliut
Would Nrciii ( it .IiinUf ) ' Volliilrc'n
Ciiltnl Declaration That "Any Ainu-
C n Wed Any V.'oiuiui. " .
"Any man cnn marry nny woman , "
Voltaire once cynically ( It-dared , "If ho
only purmu'R her long enough. " This ,
nt nny rate , was tht1 experience of Ja
cob llnlllday , a well known chnrnctor
in the north of ICnguind n couple of
generations ago.
Never did n lover win n wife under
nucli discouraging conditions us Jacob ,
for after his first proposal ho was
Homidly horsewhipped by the young
lady's father and ducked In n conven
ient pond.
"I'll ask her again next year , " Jacob
Hpliittered tin hn emerged from his
bath , the 11 ro of his passion not a whit
quenched by hlfl cold douche. "Itcgu-
larly once a your , on the anniversary
of his first proposal and Immersion , "
Nicholson nays in his biography of Mr.
Ilalllday , "Jacob attired himself in hln
finest raiment and presented his peti
tion , always with the same negative re-
HUlt. When ho presented himself , now
n middle aged man , for the twenty-
fourth time , the lady greeted his np-
poaranco with a peal of laughter. 'It's
no good , Jacob , I sec , ' she exclaimed.
I may an well give in now as later , but
what a faint hearted creature the Im
portunate widow was compared with
' "
youl'
Sheridan took an equally bold course
when ho nought to win the fairest of
the beautiful daughters of Llulcy , the
composer of Bath , who was strongly
opposed to the suit of the brilliant
young poet and dramatist His lady
love , too , was beset by an army of
suitors , many of them far more eligi
ble than the penniless law student The
circumstances called for bold and de
cisive action. After threatening to dc-
otroy himself if the lady refused his
advances arid fighting a couple of duels
with one of his most formidable rivals
Bharldan took the bold-step of running
away with Miss Llnley and conducting
her to a French nunnery , where she re
mained In confinement until , succumb
ing to her lover's daring and persist
ence , she consented to marry him.
An amusing and characteristic story
is told of Lord BeacousQeld In the
days when he was wooing Mrs. Lewis ,
to whom In later years of married life
ho was so touchlngly ( leveled.
One day Mrs. Lewis , who was then
Jiving In retirement at her scat in Gla
morganshire , saw a gentleman .walking
leisurely up the drive. "Jane , " she ex
claimed to an old servant , "I really , be
lieve that horrid man Disraeli Is com
ing up the drive. Do , please , run to the
door and say I'm not at home. " Jane
opened the door to the nndcslrcd caller
and gravely announced her message ,
"I know , " Disraeli coolly answered ,
"but take my bag to a bedroom and
prepare luncheon. I will wait until
Mrs. Lewis is ready to como down
stairs , " which , of course , Mrs. Lewis
felt compelled to do a few minutes
later.
"Oh , dear , what can I do with such
an obstinate , thick skinned man ? " the
widow asked desperately later in the
day when Disraeli showed no sign of
raising the siege. "Marry him , I sup
pose , ma'am , " was Jane's philosophic
answer , and , as the world knows , the
persistent wooer had his way In the
end in this as in most other things In
life.
life.A
A Judge , not long deceased , used to
tell a diverting story of his wooing. In
those days ho was a struggling and ob
scure lawyer without oven the prospect
of an Income , and the woman on whom
he had set his affections was the
daughter of a purse proud man with a
high sounding name who was strongly
iposcd to giving his daughter to a
penniless lawyer. "
"Do you know , sir , " the father thun
dcrcd when ho was asked for his
daughter's hand "do you know , sir ,
that my daughter's ancestors have all
been noblemen and that one of them
was a favorite minister of Queen Eliza
beth ? " "Oh. yes , I know all that , " the
young barrister placidly answered ,
"and do you know that Queen Kllza-
bctb once slapped your ancestor's face ,
and unless you arc more civil I will do
tljo same for you ? " It is scarcely sur
prising that BO bold and daring a lover
had his way in the end , even In the
face of such a barrier of ghostly noble
ancestors.
The late Prince Bismarck , It Is said ,
won his wife in much the same way.
Although he had not known the lady of
his love more than a few days and her
parents were not oven aware of his ex
istence , he presented himself one day be
fore them and boldly asked permission
to marry their daughter. In vain the
father fumed and blustered and threat
ened to have the young man forcibly
ejected from the house for his imperil-
nencc. "I am sorry to annoy you , sir , "
the young soldier said , "but I must re
spectfully decline to leave the house
until I have your consent. " Nor did he ,
although the consent was given in these
ungracious words : "Well , I suppose you i
must have your way , but I cannot com
pliment my daughter on her choice of a
mule for a husband. "
'
A Mean nival.
Miss Esthete Oh , 1 Just adore poets !
What a sad , eoulful expression Mr.
Longhan has.
Mr. Smartchap You would have a
sad , soulful expression , too , If you were
as far behind in your board bill as he
la.-Ncw York Weekly.
Society Molar * .
Dentist Well , how do the now teeth
work ? Everything satisfactory ?
Patient Not exactly. They seem to
cut the others.
Dentist Naturally. They don't belong -
long to the same set , you know. Chi
cng
* .
. - '
Abobe All
When you buy soda crackers you
want crispness and flavor not
dampness and dust.
When you buy ordinary crackers
a in a bag you get all you don't
X want not all you do want.
To get what you do want and not
I what you don't want , buy
Uneeda Biscuit
in the In-er-seal
- - Package
with red and white seal.
t
NATIONAL BISCUIT. COMPANV
Drought Down Prom Heaven.
According to Mohammedan belief ,
the first copy o the Koran , or Alkoran ,
their sacred book , was brought down
from the highest to the lowest heaven
by Gabriel on the mysterious night of
AI Khadc in the mouth of Ramadan.
This wonderful book , written In heav
en and bound In satin , Jewels and
gold i , was communicated to Moham
med at different times during a period
of twenty-three years. This was done ,
according to Mohammedan belief , ei
ther by Gabriel In human shnpo or by
God himself. When Gabriel cctod as
translator and communicator , bo did so
"with a great sound of music nnd
bella. " God appeared cither "veiled or
unveiled during Mohammed's waking
hours or during dreams at night"
Virginia' * Only Slave.
The state of Virginia once owned n
slave , the only one probably the com
monwealth ever did own. He was
known as Bon the Bell Ringer of the
University of Virginia. The university
only had ? 200 left over when It was
endowed , nnd It was proposed to buy a
negro Avlth this amount nnd keep him
ns a bell ringer. They bought Ben ,
and in his time he became a great char
acter at the university. Ho know ev
erybody and was very useful to every
body. Ben \ised to pet very drunk on
the liberal nnd constant fees ho re
ceived from students. lie died In the
.
Albcmarle poorhoutjo at an advanced
age.
A LnrU'a Lofty Flight.
Some Bavarian officers experimenting /
ing with a balloon 0,000 feet aloft non -
n little black sncck that seemed
to accompany them nnd which , they
thought , was one of the cards they car
ried for throwing out reports and that
the dropping of the balloon drew It
along , but on looking at the barometer
they found that the balloon was rising
nnd not dropping. Suddenly , however ,
a loud chirping showed that It was a
lark which , flying at this extraordinary
height , had been frightened by the bal
loon.
A Mean DlfiT.
Maude Mr. Willing asked mo to ac
company lilra to the opera tomorrow
evening.
Clara And you accepted the invita
tion ?
"Certainly. "
"Strange ! He asked me also. "
"There's nothing strange about It at
all. I told him I wouldn't go unless he
provided a chaperon. "
Ills Own Crafty Way.
Fusllby Human nature Is a funny
thing. It was said I had quit drinking ,
nnd everybody I met asked me to take
something.
Glassby And you couldn't accept ?
Poor fellow !
Fusllby Oh , yes , I accepted every
time. It was I who started the reformation
mation story , you know. Boston Tran
script.
She "Hoped" For Their Hnpptneia.
The Newly Wed Edith did the hate-
fulcst thing at our reception , and I'll
never forgive her.
Cousin Jane Why , what could it be ?
The Newly Wed She addressed
Charles In the most pitying manner
nnd said , "I hope you'll be happy. " The
way she uttered that word "hope" was
positively unbearable.
She tVniitrd One Saved For Her.
Young Miss Wllgus Where are you
going , papa ?
The Rev. Mr. Wllgus To the tem
perance meeting. We Intend to Inau-
guratc a movement to save the young
men of the country.
Young Miss Wllgus Try and save a
nice one for me , will you , papa dear ?
Portsmouth News.
Fortifications In the strict senBe of
the word are becoming antiquated ,
and their value In modern warfare Is
extremely doubtful.
The amplitude of vibration of the
diaphragm of the telephone receiver In
reproducing -pccch is about the ono-
twenty-mllllouth of an Inch.
Thought He Wai Smart.
Wife Do you mean to insinuate that
your Judgment Is superior to mine ?
Husband Certainly not nay dear.
Our choice of life partners proves It
tsn't
PAROLES NOT REVOKED.
Genernl Grant Laid Down the Law
to 1'reddent John ou.
Daniel R. Goodloe , for many years n
distinguished resident of Washington
nnd chairman of the commission to free
the slaves of the District , once told this
story :
"One morning soon nftcr the surren
der at Apporouttox I was one of a
group of gentlemen-standing on Penn
sylvania avenue , discussing the mo
mentous questions of the day. As wo
talked General Grant rode toward us ,
smoking his usual cigar. Recognizing
several of us , he dismounted and Joined
us.
" 'What's the news ? " he asked.
"I answered , 'We are discussing a
piece of news which comes to us di
rectly from the White House nnd
which gives me no little concern. '
'What Is It ? ' asked the general.
" 'I understand that President An
drew Johnson Intends to revoke the
parole of General Leo and other gener
als of the late Southern Confederacy. '
" 'Who was your informant1 asked
General Grant
"I gave him the name of the gentle
man who had given the Information.
"General Grant quietly said , 'Thank
you , gentlemen , ' remounted his horse
nnd rode rapidly away toward the
White House.
"We leisurely turned our steps In
the same direction , and as wo entered
the portico we saw Grant coming down
the steps looking more excited than I
had ever scc him before. I wont up
stairs and met n friend who had been
In conference that morning with Mr.
Johnson on the subject above men
tioned. He said to me : 'If you have
nny request to make of the president
this morning , keep It until some other
time. He Is angrier than I have ever
seen him. A moment ago General
Grant strode Into his presence and per-
cmptorlly demanded , "Do you Intend
to revoke the parole of General Robert
B. Leo and other officers of the late
Confederacy ? "
I am considering the subject"c
Johnson replied. "You need not consid
er It Those paroles were signed by me
as general commanding the army of
the United States. My promise to them
shall bo kept in good faith If it takes
the army of the United States , plus the
army of the late Confederacy , to en
force it. "
" 'Saying this , Grant retired and left
Johnson white with rage. '
"Wo never heard any more of the
revocation of the paroles. " Indianapo
lis Sentinel.
OLD FASHIONED.
What has become of the old fashion
ed man who called a boll a "gather-
Ing ? "
What has become of the old fashion
ed man who referred to coal ns "stone
coal ? "
What has become of the old fashion
ed woman who bought wall paper and
hung It herself ?
What has become of the old fashion
ed boy who believed that eating gun
powder would make him fierce ?
What has become of the old fashion
ed mustang pony that had to bo bro
ken every time it was hitched up ?
What has become of the old fashion
ed person who said to a child that had
fallen , "Come here , and I'll help you
up ? "
What has become of the old fashion
ed woman who used to say to her boy
when he came In late , "I'll attend to
your case after supper ? " Atchleon
Globe.
Strnclc For flO a Dnr.
In San Francisco In 1840 clerks In
stores and offices had munificent sal
aries. Five dollars a day was the
smallest stipend even In the custom
house , nnd ono Baptist preacher was
paid $10,000 n year. Laborers received
$1 an hour. A pick or a shovel was
worth $10 and n butcher's knife ISO.
At one time the carpenters , who were
getting $12 a day , struck for $10.
Dampening III * Ardor.
Desperate Suitor Sir , I have reached
that stage where I can no longer live
without your daughter.
Heartless Parent Well , I don't con
sldcr suicide n crime , young man , but
you mustn't hang around here. Chicago
cage News.
Chinese Jn tlc .
The China Times relates an extraor
dinary case of Chinese "Justice. "
A Mr. Jen was betrothed to Mlsa
Han and paid his money to the wo
man's parents. Then ho called on tha
parents to have the contract fulfilled
and was told that the promised , ono
, was the brldo of another.
Having paid his money ho considered
ho was entitled to the girl and .went
to her husband's house to carry her
off , but she was not at homo. He then
laid his case before the magistrate.
The girl was arrested and sentenced
to be "kua-cd , " the magistrate arguing ,
"If you are so wicked at twenty years
of age , at the age of eighty you will
be a menace to the Celestial empire. "
The process of kua-lng Is very similar
to the llng-chih , or slicing to death
punishment A
The Population of the Moon.
There is plenty of authority for bo-
Heving that there is a man In the moon.
In fact , there Is authority for believing
that there are women and other nnl- '
mals there. Dante declares that Cain
was banished to the moon and that ho
can bo seen there at any time. Chauoor - , * > !
declares that the man In the moon was
guilty of larceny and that he carries a
thorn bush. Shakespeare loads him
with thorns and gives him a dog. Ac
cording to the general version , he was
banished there for gathering sticks on
Sunday , and the Germans have ampli
fied this theory by giving him a wom
an who had been caught churning but
ter on Sunday.
A Checlrr Customer.
"I had n unique but tantalizing ex
perience the other day , " said a clerk
]
who works in a hair store. "A man
came Into our place and asked to look
nt some false beards. Of course ho was
accommodated . , and he spent over an
hour going over the lot , trying them on
and . examining himself in a glass. He
took up my time , and after he had ex
amined everything in that line In the
store he thanked me and said he was 1
considering whether to raise a beard or \
not and wished to see how he would
look in the different styles. "
A Witty Retort.
As Is generally the case with people
who have nothing to say worth hear
ing , a conceited drummer talked a
great deal , to the evident disgust of a
number of his drummer friends who
wore dining at a country hotel. When ' " {
cheese was served , It was of a decided
"lively" brand , much to the delight of
the Irrepressible. He attacked it with
great gusto , remarking , "I'm like Sam
son , slaying them by the thousand ! "
"Yes , " replied a quick witted diner at
the end of the table , , "and with the
same weapon too ! "
An Alternative.
"Now , then , " said the professor of
logic , "give us an Idea of your knowl
edge of the question in plain words. "
"Why cr I'm afraid , " . stammered
the student , "that 1 can't Just exact-
ly"-
"Perhaps then you may give us an
Idea of your Ignorance of It In any old
words. " Philadelphia Press.
Alice Uncle Gabe , what would you
do If you had a million dollars ?
Uncle Gabe Well , I doan' rightly
know , UT missy ; but ef I had a mllyon
dollahs I believe I'd git my ole shoes
half soled. Pock.
The StrnKBTle For Odee.
If this free people , If this government
Itself , Is ever utterly demoralized , It
will come from this human wrlgglo and
struggle for office that la. a way to
live without work. Lincoln. .
A trick Is like n cheap firecracker
when It seems to have done its work
and lust its vitality it is apt to cxplod
and hurt the man who pet it off. Sat
urday Evening Post
Spark * and CouRhlln.
Pitcher Frank Sparks is proving a
great find for the Boston team. Cough- ,
Hn is playing a fine game at third for , A
Washington.
Literary people pay but little atten
tion to the volume of business. Detroit - j
troit Tribune.
