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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1903)
8 Tlll < ! NORFOLK NEWS : FRIDAY. JANUARY 23 , 1003 & IN THE NAME OF PHILANTHROPY O"Dryan Ton Haiti , 1PW , liy Hin R 8. Medium ( The PUWFOIIS were double first In ila.vH of calm , lint second when EloriiiN swept over the land-girls , four teen years old nplcco , bright , llcrcoty energetic niul ii ] ) to date. i JThey owned two adjoining ancestral places well riirnlNlied with fathers niul mothers , ii ml from cellars to attics , particularly the attics , with cluilni and things , and with BervantH to dust the chairs and tilings. They owned also bno grandmother In eoinmon besides two or three others In severally. Said their mothers , whom grandmother - mother In common's Illness called nwn.v , "Mow rortnnatc that school Is 111 session ; otherwise ( lie girls might bo lonely , " a maternal euphemism re uniting from long years of practice. Tim term closed , however , without the mothers' presence to soften the blow , ( irandniother-lii'Coninion's lllnoHH necessitated a longer leave of absence , . which was granted In a characlerlHtlc message "Wc'ro all right , Illllo moth ers. Stii.v .is long as you please. Love to jrai u " This \\i\ri \ Indorsed l > y the leathers DawMin. That was what the Fathers Dawson Ijvcro for to Indprse. Although much absorbed In trying to doulilu the output tot tin * foundry without Increasing tin ; expenses , they still reserved the tcto power at home. Hut the possibility of the overruling two-thirds vote led them to preserve the show of authority l y indorsing , always and speedily , The mothers were becoming uneasy. [ The daughters were becoming uneasy too , Usually when these restless IHn came on the girls were tactfully guided Into the paths of philanthropy. "Great executive ability" their mothers said they had , and Indeed they could dress dolls or make scraphooUs for chlldren'H hospitals If necessary , but they Juat doted on sales. When a sale was announced , their oubordlnates drew a long breath. Thu mothers fell to work with a will , echoIng - Ing the remark of Rosa , the cook : "Now iwo knows where wese at. I can stun' on my feets all day nmkin' canny , an' I doom' complains , but It's desu yero / BiirprlslnV dut gibs me do mlhcry In my bald. " The restlessness now worked Itself Into a fever , and as It reached Us liclght simultaneously In both girls they started on a run from their re spective homes and met under the linden tree on the boundary of their ancestral lawns. In breathless duet they exclaimed , "Oh , Susannah , I have an Idea ! " "Oh , HopsHmli , I have an Idea ! " Their names were neither Susannah ( always spelled with an "h" ) nor Hep- nlbah. Their mothers In youthful Ig norance of what good form would de mand In a name later had called thorn Nellie and Oracle. The girls early clinic to despise these weakly cogno mens , and when some Harvard author ity In a proud spasm of reform chang ed their Undo Harry's name to Henry without so much as snylng by your leave they promptly said. "We'll change ours. " Susannah and Hep- blbah they became to each other from that moment. The fathers and moth- era at first stoutly resisted , but might prevailed. The general public now knew no others. "We'll have n sale a 'fresh air' Hrtlc. " Then the embryo "lady board" put their heads together and gave their ex ecutive ability full play. At night the Fathers DUWBOU'H in- dorsement wna called for. "A sale ? Certainly. " What a re lief ! When the girls' signal lights greet cd each other from their windows , each Father Dawson started for the telephone. 'My dear , " said Susannah's fattier , "rest easy. A sale Is on. They are unite capable of managing the Pan- American , you know , and they can this. The servants , both men and maid , must by this time be letter per fect. " When his turn came , 'Hepslbuh's fa ther said much the same thing. The mothers embraced each other fervently. "Tho little dears , " they Bald and slept the sleep of the uuwor- rled. rled.This This was Friday. The sale WHS set for the next Wednesday. Grandmoth er-ln-common was now recovering rap- Mly. Mly.Tuesday Tuesday night the mothers said to i-ach other , "We're homesick. " "Wouldn't a surprise be funV" "Lot's go home. I should enjoy a Bale when we haven't worked to get leady for It. " "Wo won't even telephone for the carriage. The girls will need all the help they can have. " This was true. A sale without the two faithful bench women called for manual labor ns well as executive abil ity. ity.Thus Thus It was that the waning Wednes day afternoon found the two mothers hurrying on foot up the street from the station. "Look nt nil the people coming down the street , " remarked Susannah's mother. "There must be a circus In town. " "Yes , or a lire somewhere. They all ueem to be carrying something. " "They me mostly women and look like the Plains people. " ' "Not all. There's Mrs. Guinea. " . ' NftSV. Mf6Ualnes stag au friend , mid with mulling faces they nlopped to greet her. To ( heir aston ishment , she only gave a vicious little Illrl to an out of date orange colored worklmg hanging from her arm and walked by with averted face. Not far behind her was another ac quaintance from whom they received only a cold nod. "What In HID world ! Do they think mother had the smallpox , or have the Onwsons failed , or what Is the mat ter ? " "Oh , look at that woman ! I do be lieve she has Grandfather Dawson's white bell hat. 1 know there Isn't an other In town , " "And that one with the silk waist hanging out of u water pitcher ! There must have been a rummage mile. " The hoirlble truth ( lashed upon both nt the same Instant. "My old rose walnt ! " gasped Susan nah's mother. "My Grandmother I'elham water pitcher ! " moaned Hepslbah'H mother. There was no < | iu > Hllon now. lOvery ono past whom their hurrying steps led them bore some half forgotten trean- tire scon only at houseelennlng time. They were women of llnu sentiment , never willing to destroy anything about which fond memories could twine , and their largo ancestral attics were filled to overflowing with what Kosa signif icantly culled "heaps of plunder , " the accumulations of several generations of Dnwsons , I'ellmms and Gaynors and the rcnplngs of many Christmas har vests. They rushed on , growing more and more sick at heart as they met here and there among the throng friends who dwelt within the clrclo of Christmas - mas giving. When they reached the lawn , out of the tumult of their souls rose n bubble of prldo that , awful as It was , the girls had displayed their usu al executive ability. Under the linden tree sat Ilepslbah , tlu > cashier , with a goodly pile of mon ey before her. Patrolling the grounds and keeping an eye on each grinning negro In charge of the heaps of goods , whlnti had been carefully assorted , classified and grouped around the trees , walked Susannah , the general mana- The mothers had been too long un der the yoke to nniko a scene , but as they walked from ono ancestral tree to another and read the gorgeous placards tacked to the trunks their emotions were many and deep : "Shoemakers' tools used by Great grandfather Dawson. " "Infant wardrobe of the Gaynor branch , " mostly rags. "Great-grandmother Pelham's wed ding dishes , " a most disreputable col lection of pans and crockery ware. "Great bargains In Christmas pres ents. Good as now ; some never used. " At this finishing stroke the Mothers Dawson fled each to her own house and wept behind closed blinds. "They will never forgive us ! " they sobbed. "No wonder Mrs. Gallics didn't speak ! " A sudden shower put an end to the Rale. A little uneasy In their souls , the girls went In to report results. When the Interviews were over , It was not the Mothers Dawson who came out with drooping heads. On the contrary , these emancipated ladles sped down the lawns and shook hands In solemn compact under the linden tree. Said Susannah's mother , "Hereafter I am to be boss of my own ranch. " "Same here , " said Hepstbah's moth- Then a blush of shame spread over their faces that even In this their hour of Independence their speech should betray their daughters' Influence , "I mean that from this time forth 1 shall control the affairs of my own household. " "And I mean that the same conclu sion has been reached by me. " They have u hard Job before them. How lit * Kept Informed on Clock * . A fad more or less general Is the col lecting of old clocks , from the tall grandfather variety to the curious timekeepers of foreign make. The gar rets of old farmhouses from Maine to the Carollnas have been ransacked for the former , and there IB many a man and woman In New York who keeps an eye on the pawnshops of the foreign districts for curious and ancient things from abroad. "U Is almost Impossible to keep them all running , " complained a woman who has two dozen aged and valuable clocks scattered through her Madison avenue home. "They seem to be In good order and run along for awhile , then all of a sudden they stop for no reason at all. "I have found an old German who knows more about the ways of old clocks than any one In the city. I scut him my German prize a few weeks ago , and when It did not come back after the usual period of waiting I went to Ids bliop. What do you think I found him rending ? " The friend did not have the slightest Idea. "It was a little German volume with a title something like this : "Thirteen Hundred Reasons Why a Clock In Per fect Order Won't Kuu. " New York Tribune. The ChurcUly Handmaiden , Mr. Edwards and Mr. Wells , ward ens of a prominent city church , were not In accord concerning the new rec- vtor's Introduction of extreme ritual Into the service. Mr. Edwards was aggressively on the rector's side , Mr. Wells quite the re verse , and on one occasion their differ ence of opinion cropped out In a lively though brief dialogue which Incidental ly suggests the possibilities for expan sion of the servant problem. Mr. Edwards , having exhausted his arguments on his unresponsive brother warden , tut Id. ' "At least you will own that art Is the handmaiden of religion. " "Yes , " returned Mr. Wells savagely , "und I wish rellglou would give her a mouth's notice' " ICtftird In Drnlti. Hetly , the Infant Rnm-lus , when nt the x.enllli of hln juvenile fame wan on one occasion walking with some Indies when another bevy of female lidinlrcr.s bore down upon him and , pulling him away from Ills companions , commenced to lavish upon him < ndearmentB and Klttucii , The othcis pioinptly niHhed to their Idol's ieeiic , who between the contending panics , each determined to possess the boy actor , was thrown to thu ground and so miuli bruised arid Injured us to be unable to appear for a couploof nlyhls. Insignificant , however , was this mid- chance to tlm fa to Hint befell M , dc Langy , a courtier of tliti Unto of I/Mils XV. , whose stipicmo conceit BO Irritat ed certain ladles of the court that they resolved to Inlllct upon him n novel punishment. Feigning ono day to be overcome by the beautyof his face and person , they fell upon him en manse , hugging and kissing the wretched dan dy till he cried for mercy. Deaf to his entreaties , the ladles continued their merciless caresses until the object of their mock love , who Indeed was but u sorry weakling , In endeavoring to break away from their clutches broke a blood vessel and died n few days later. Hnlitilt * fin The rat Is , us no ono will doubt , a very fair climber. Ho con scamper about anywhere on the roof of a barn or can ascend the Ivy that grows on the house wall and innko the lives of the pigeons In their cots anything but happy ones. The rabbit , on the other hand , Is not usually accounted a climb ing animal. A writer In Field describes the astonishment of his sisters at see ing n rabbit Jump from the bough of a tree and , picking himself up , "scamper off rather dazed to his warren. " Wher ever n rabbit Is found In a tree except when he Is carried there by flood or loft there by a receding snowdrift , It will bo found that n sloping bank or other easy method of approach has been made use of. Ho Is , however , very expert at climbing stone walls that bound his fields and even the wire net ting that tha farmer vainly Imagines will keep him from the choicest craps. \ \ o have seen rabbits run up the face of n quarry to their holes toward the top , n feat which we have not found It easy to Imitate. , , Cinderella niul Her Slipper. Yes ; I know you nro saying to your self , "That headline would have looked and sounded better had It been 'Cinder ella and the Glass Slipper , ' " says a critic , but the writer bus been making a close study of this most Interesting nursery story and flnds that the fa mous "glass" slipper properly has no place In It. The "glass" slipper Is real ly the "fur , " "cloth" or "felt" slipper , the word "glass" having been substi tuted through a strange mistranslation of the story. In the original It was wrltteji pantoulle en valr , which , being translated , would bo "the fur slipper. " The translator , however , wrote It ns If It had been pantouflc en vcrre , making the "little cinder girl's" fur foot coverIng - Ing one of glass , which , It must be ad mitted , would be one quite appropriate to a fairy. A Cinch. The editor of the Glasgow Echo avers bo Is not much of a sport ; but , ho says , "when we meet a cinch In the road we recognize It. " He accepted a proposi tion the other day , made by a friend , through which ho was to giVe his friend a- dime for every time n tonmn passed them and did not put her hand behind her to 'learn if her skirt was all right behind. On the other hand , the editor's friend agreed to giro him a nickel for each time a woman felt of her belt behind. "We got sixty-two nickels , " the moldcr of opinion says , "and paid him one dime. A woman with both arms full of parcels came along. " Wax From Tree * . The wax palm of the Andes is a veg etable wonder. It grows to a height of nearly 200 feet and thrives not only on the plains , but the mountains. The wood Is tough und durable and Is cm- ployed in carpentry. The wax comes from the pita between the trunk and fronds. It is yellow or grayish white , is as pure as beeswax and Is used for making candles. A peon climbing the trees can gather from twenty to thirty pounds from each. The Meaxurc of Suoccan , It is one of the appointed conditions of the labor of men that in proportion tion to the time between the seed sowIng - Ing and the harvest Is the fullness of the fruit , and that generally , therefore , the farther oft wo place our aim and the less we desire to be ourselves the witnesses of what we have labored for , the more wide and rich will be the measure of our success. John Huskiu. A Symphony f Color * . Gray was asked why ho had written the "Elegy In n Country Churchyard. " "Because , " he returned , "I thought It was the best place to make the ghost walk. " And Indeed this seemed reasonable when It was remembered in addition to being Gray he had both duns and blues. New York Tribune. A Hrcncb of Utldnctte. "Am I to understand that you were discharged from the army for a mere breach of etiquette ? " queried the Inter ested friend. "Yes , sir , " boldly asserted Colonel Bluphcr. "What was It ? " "Turning my back to the enemy. " Philadelphia Itccord. What Ho Did. Cassldy 01 hear Flanagan called yea a lolar , Casey He did so. Cassldy An' phwat did yo do ? Casey I did Flanagan- Philadelphia ' Press. _ . . . The Ins and Outs of Soda Crackers Soda crackers fresh from the oven are good delicious if exposed to the air they quickly lose that goodness much of it in a few minutes most of it in an hour all of it in a day. That's why the common kind , the paper-bag land , have lost their flavor before you get them. In Uneeda Biscuit there's a difference a big difference because they are packed at the oven door in the famous In-er-seal Package the package with red and white seal an invention for preserving the goodness of biscuit ; an airtight and germ proof covering which holds within the oven- fresh flavor of Uneeda Biscuit. and keeps without the undesirable flavors of all other'things that's one reason why millions buy Uneeda Biscuit Another reason is the price NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY Iieft ICywl People. The man who spends half his time trying to classify people bald he never saw so many left eyed passengers lu one car. "What do you mean by left eyed pas sengers ? " asked his companion. "People who use their left eye more than their right , " was the reply. "The species Is not common , and of course none but n student in ocular science would be nblo to detect offhand the few whom we do meet. A left handed per son advertises his peculiarity at once ; not so the left eyed man. As a rule It takes an oculist to determine which eye has been used most , but there are cer tain peculiarities of the pupil and lid that may be tal.cn us pretty sure signs by the trained observer. "Left eyed pcopio are made , not born. Most of us have befii Messed by nature with eyes of equal visual power , but the attitude we siuUe when reading or writing causes us to exercise ono eye. more than the other , and the first thlngj ? we know we are right or left eyed. This Is a one sldedness that should always be taken Into consideration when buyIng - Ing glasses. " New York Times. A Collector' * Prayer. So deeply passionate Is Air. Hodgi * kin's love for the rare and the curious' that one thinks of the Thomas Ilcaruc mentioned by him , who in all simplic ity of heart thanked God for his BV.C- cess in collecting. "O most gracious and merciful Lord God , " writes this devoutcst of old bucks , "wonderful In thy providence , I return humble thanks to thcc for the care thou hast always taken of me. I continually meet with most signal in stances of this thy providence , and one act of yesterday , when I unexpectedly met with three old manuscripts , for which In a particular manner I return my thanks , beseeching thce to continue the same protection to me a poor , help less sinner , and that for Jesus Christ his sake. " The prayer Is extant and may be read at the Bodleian , where Heiirne was assistant librarian. London Chronicle. Ilulxnr'ii Pnmmorilii. It was not easy to make one's way Into Hal/.ac's house at Challlot , Hue dcs Batalllcs , for It was guarded like the garden of the Ilesperldes. Two or three passwords were necessary , which were changed frequently for fear they should become known. I remember a few. To the porter we said , "The plum season has come. " on which he allowed us to cross the threshold. To the serv ant who rushed to the staircase when the bell rang It was necessary to mur mur , "I brln some brussels lace , " and if you assured him that "Mine. Ber tram ! was quite well" you were admit ted forthwith. This nonsense amused Balzac Immensely , and It was perhaps necessary to keep out bores and other visitors btlli more disagreeable. Miss Wonnloy'a "Memoir of Balzac. " A Story of Illxhop William * . U Is told of Hlshop Williams of Con necticut , for many years presiding bishop of the Episcopal church in America , who lived nil Ida life a bache lor , that he was talking one day with a young man from the west about a tux a western state was trying to Impose on bachelors , the tax to be Increased a certain per cent for every ten years of bachelorhood. "Why , bishop , " said the young man , "at your age you would have , to pay about $100 a year. " "Well , " said the bishop quietly and In his old time vernacular , "It's wuth It" * The balky mule Is an animal that can work at both ends and yet not work at nil. Baltimore NCWB. FIRST OF ALL EVICTIONS. MnKjnr Vcrnlon of ( lir Kxpulfllon From the Garden of I2dcii. Among the folklore of the peasantry of Itoumanla and some of the adjoin ing Magyar states of eastern Europe Is round the story of the expulsion of our first parents from the garden of " Eiton It runs thus : When Adam and Eve fell , God sent Gabriel , the Magyar angel , to turn them out of Eden as a punishment for their sin. Gabriel was received most courteously , food and drink of the best being set before him. Now , Gn- brlcl had a kind heart and took pity upon the poor folk and would not ac cept their hospitality , remembering his errand. So lie returned and begged that some one else bo sent to evict the sinners , as he really could not do it. The Raphael , the Roumanian angel , was sent and was received as Gabriel had been. lie , however , was very fond of a good dinner , and so ho sat down and thoroughly enjoyed himself. The feast over , he told the erring pair his errand. They at once began to weep most plteously and beg for mercy. Their bitter sorrow so touched his aft er dinner heart that he , too , returned and asked that some one else be sent , as he could not possibly turn out the poor folk after accepting their hospital ity. Then It was that Michael , the German angel , was sent. He was re ceived as the others by the trembling pair and treated even more sumptu ously. He sat down and enjoyed him self till the last morsel of food bad vanished and there wasn't a drop of liquor left. Then he arose , and , turn ing to ills host and hostess , said , "Xow , then , out you go , and be quick about It" Most piteously did Adam and Eve beg at least for time , even reminding him that he had partaken of their bread. All In vain. Thus it was that our first parents were driven out of Eden , Frofcunor Wan Notlnir ThlnRB. "Wasn't It a terrifying experience , " asked his friend , "when you lost your foothold and went sliding down the mountain side ? " "It was exciting , but extremely in teresting , " said the college professor. " 1 could not help noticing all the way down with what absolute accuracy I was following along the line of least resistance. " Chicago Tribune. \o Ilettcr Off. "Poor Robinson ! He couldn't make a living and married a woman with money. " "Uut Isn't ho all right now ? " "Hardly. She Is so close with It that he has to work harder than ever. " Life. Hut Tliry Help Not n Little. "Of course , clothes don't make the man. " "Certainly not. " "At the same time , If you have a new suit you'd better put It on when you go out to ask for credit. " Chicago Post. A Denton n ke. Kertha Tell me , Harry , do you think George Is dissipated ? I emelled cloven on his breath last evening , and I am afraid he drinks. Harry No , Bertha ; he Isn't dissipat ed , He's only Just an ass ; nothing more. He eats cloves to make people think he drinks liquor. He wants to be regarded rs n deuce of a fellow , you know. Boston Transcript. lie Didn't. "Do you believe In signs ? " "No. A dentist's sign reading 'Teeth Extracted Without Pain' fell the other day just as I wont under It and knock ed out two teeth of mine ! " Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. . , Tvro Remarkable Kpltapli * . The two most remarkable epitaphs in the United States arc those of Daniel Barrow , formerly of Sacramento , and of Hank Monk , Horace Greeley's stage driver. The former reads as fol lows : "Hero Is laid Daniel Barrow , who was born in Sorrow and Borrow ed little from nature except his name and his love to mankind and his hatred for redskins. Who was nevertheless a gentleman and a dead shot , who through a long life never killed his man except In self defense or by acci dent , and who , when he at last went under beneath the bullets of his cow ardly enemies in Jeff Morris' saloon , did so in the sure and certain hope of a glorious and everlasting morrow. " Hank Monk's epitaph reads thus : "Sacred to the memory of Hank Monk , the whitest , biggest hcnrtcd and best known stage driver in the west , who was kind to all and brought ill to none. He lived in a strange era and was a hero , and the wheels of his coach are now ringing on the golden streets. " Ancient Football. Philip Stubbes wrote In 1583 in his book on "The Anatomic of AbuBcs : " "For as concerning football I pro test nnto you It may rather be called a frecndly klnde of fight than n play of recreation ; a bloody and murthcring practice than a felowly sporte of pas- tyme. For dooth not every one lye in waight for his Adverserle , seeking to overthrow him and to plcko him on bis nose , though it be on hard stones , so that by this mcancs sometimes their nccka are broken , sometimes their backs , sometimes their legs , sometimes their arms , sometimes one part thrust out of Joynt , sometimes another ; some times the noses gush out with blood , sometimes their eyes start out fightIng - Ing , brawling , contention , quarrel pick ing , murthcr , homicide and great effu sion of blood , as experience doyly teacheth. " A Delicate Ponltton. Wedding presents are frequently dis tinguished for their usclessness , and glftmaklng at , any time Is attended with Bome danger. A faithful Irish employee announced his desire to take a month's holiday to visit his brother. Ho had worked so well and steadily that his employer not only granted the request , but made him a present of a new traveling bag. The night before Tim was to leave he- received the gift , accompanied by a few appreciative words. Tim stared at the bag for a moment and then asked , "What am I to do with that ? " "Why , put your clothes In it when you go away , of course , " answered , the employer. "Put me clothes in It , Is it ? " said Tim. "An1 phwat will 01 wear if Ol put me clothes In that ? " He CntiKlit Him. Slick ( to Blossom-s this Mn. Bloom er's otllcc ? Blossom No. Ills oflice Is across the hall. Slick ( leaving the door open ashe walks out ) Thank you , sir. Blossom Hi ! Come back and close that door. Haven't you any doors la your house ? Slick Yes , sir , but they all- have springs on 'cm. Allow mo to show you , sir , my patient double back action door spring. It closes without a bang and Is warranted to last a lifetime. Stopping the Mu tc. "Yes. " said young Mrs. Torklns , "Charley used to come and serenade me for hours every.night. So at last L married him. " "Pear me ! " rejoined Miss Cayenne. "Did he sing as badly as all thutr Exchange.