8 I'll iRFOLU KY 9 , 1903
rAPTAIN FYFE
OF THE SIXTH |
± By j. M. LYA'LL
CowlgM. 1901 ,
When the Indians of the United
StntcB begin the ghost dnncc , the nrmy
propar < s for nn outbreak. In Indln
. when n new prophet comes down from
the Himalaya mountains and begins to
tlr up the people orders arc Issued to
suppress htm at once. lie Is cither cap-
turcd by the military and banished
from the province or arrested by the
civil authorities and Immured In a dun
geon until forgotten. The English In
India arc arbitrary and autocratic.
They realize that they are living over a
Tolcano which may spout flame and
death any hour. They move quickly
nnd strike hard.
The coming of a prophet means pop
ular excitement , plots and conspiracies ,
rekindling of the flames of hatred , dan
ger to the English rule. Strong hands
must bo laid on the holy man at once.
Perhaps there will bo resistance , and a
Bcoro of natives will bo killed , and the
resistance may even grow Into an In
cipient rebellion , but the English put It
down , bury the dead and give out noth
ing for publication. To rule India
without gloves of steel would bo to
lose her In a year.
When the Prophet Ilajmahal came
down to the province of Debar from
bis mountain retreat , In which he
claimed to have slept and dreamed for
twenty years , Intense excitement fol
lowed In his track. lie headed straight
for Moorshodabad , on the Ganges , to
visit the ruins of an ancient temple
and the tombs of his long dead nnco'-
tors , but ho was headed off sixty miles
to the north of that place. A lleuten-
nnt In the Sixth rifles had been detailed
iwlth half the troop on this special duty.
While It Is true that most of the so-
called prophets and holy men wauder-
ing about India are fakirs of the worst
eort , who stir up excitement and sedi
tion for the money there Is In It , It is
also true that a few of them are
earnest and conscientious and should
be dealt with harshly only after argu
ment has been exhausted. The lieu
tenant found the Prophet Uajmuhtu to
be a venerable and distinguished lookIng -
Ing man. Ills age must have been
eighty years or more , and yet he was
sturdy and upright and had a voice
like a clarion. He was a fluent speak
er , full of argument , reason and lip-
peal , and he was lighting a flame of
zeal In every village he passed through.
Ho utterly refused any cash contribu
tions , lived on what the dogs would
hardly eat and addressed the people
. without fear of consequence1 ? . Ho
had dreamed of emancipation and a
new ruler. It was sedition straight
from the shoulder , and In less than a
month ho could set the whole province
In rebellion.
When the lieutenant came face to
face with the prophet , ho resolved to
try reason and argument. The ofllcer
could but yield respect and did not de
sire to sec him dragged around the
country , disgraced and degraded.
Rajmahal was for defiance at first ,
and he had enough adherents In his
train to have eaten the troops- ten
times over , but after nn Interview
lasting for hours he recognized the
force of English logic and announced
that he would return to his mountain
lair.
lair.Tho
The prophet was as good as his
word , but his return was slow. This
was .caused solely by the crowds
blocking his way and exhorting him
to defy the government. He had not
yet made fifty miles on the backward
track when Captain Fyfo came on
iwith the rest of the troop. The lieu
tenant was relieved from duty under a
cloud , and orders were issued to push
the old man out of the province at
the point ot the saber. Captain Pyfo
overtook him , pronounced him a fakir ,
nn Impostof and a charlatan , and ,
wishing to make the degradation com
plete , pulled him by the beard and
Bpat on his raiment
This scene took place In the open air
In sight of 3,000 people and the full
company , of soldiers. The act mortally
offended every law of caste and re
llglon , nnd Instead of raising shouts of
indignation the natives simply groaned
In horror. It was the handsome , 'con
temptuous Captain Fyfe , clad in full
uniform , v > ho stepped forward and
Kathercd the long white beard'In his
clutch. It was a wan faced , mis
shapen and cringing native who fell
back before the uplifted hand of the
prophet. Captain Fyfe had disappear
ed off the face of the earth whllo the
eyes of all that vast crowd were full
upon him. Three thousand people look
ed upon the strange scene , and 100 of
them were English soldiers. A hundred
different men swore to It , and It was
talked over wherever-two Englishmen
met In India. lint the press dared not
refer to It for fear of encouraging the
natives.
The second lieutenant , now In charge
of the troop , rode through that crowd
n score of times , hut his captain was
not to bo found. He beat up the coun
try around , ho coaxed and threatened
but the Prophet Hujmahal strode on
with his face to the mountains , ant
bis followers were dumb. The troops
had to turn back. No wooiier had the
report leached the colonel at Gyal
than the second ofllcer was put undo
arrest. At his trial every man in tin.
command testified to the facts as above
related. It was against common sense
to bcllo\o the story , but could they saj
that a hundred men hud conspired U
lie ? They had to accept their test !
mony and clear the officer , and the only
hlng left was to poohpooh It and for-
) hl the soldiers to talk.
What had become of the native who
nid stepped Into Captain Fyfp's boots ,
is It were , no one could say , Ho had
Irawn back and mingled with tha
crowd and then disappeared.
Weeks and months went by. Then
one day a strange Hindoo was seen
mnglng about the cantonment. His
face was like tha.t of n monkey rather
hau of a man , and hip misshapen legs
gave him a qucor gait. A soldier went
'orward with a stick to drlvo him
away , but the Idler protested , weeping ,
and after speaking In a strange jargon
10 foiccd out the words :
*
"Take me take mo to the colonell"
Ambling and clucking and chatter-
ng , ho was passed to the colonel. Now
nnd then a native came In with re
ports worth heeding , and this "thing"
was supposed to be the bearer of some
such news. Standing before the colo-
uol , he stuttered and stammered and
jiggled like a fool. What few wofds
10 did utter no one could understand ,
riio colonel lost patience and spoke to
ilin sharply , and the "thing" groveled
at his feet.
"Try your cano on him , " said the
colonel to a captain who had been
drawn thither by curiosity.
"That will make him speak , " replied
the captain as ho brought the cano
down over the chatterer's shoulders.
So It did. Ho sprang up , screamed
out like a wild beast two or three
.Imos , and then , holding out his hands
n appeal , ho cried distinctly :
"Colonel , don't you know me ? I am
Captain Fyfo ! "
"God In heaven ! " gasped the colonel ,
springing to his feet.
"I ami I am ! I tell you , I am Cap
tain Fyfo , and I want to como back
hero ! "
Horror struck , the officers looked In-
: o his hideous face and at his deformed
limbs , and no man could speak.
"I tell you , I am Captain Fyfel"
screamed the "thing , " "but you won't
lcllcvo it you don't want me. I will
go back ! "
And as the group continued to stare
and wondci and feel their blood run
chill ho ran out of the room , fled across
the grounds with growls and cackles ,
and before n move was made to pre
vent he was out of sight behind some
buildings. The closest search was
made , but in vain. For months and
months watch was kept for him , but
ho never returned.
Natnrc Study That Failed.
A certain clever teacher in a public
school once congratulated herself on
having given her geography class a
vivid Idea of Islands by cutting out
pieces of brown paper nnd pinning
them on the wall. "That's all very
well , " said the master of the school ,
speaking from a longer experience of
the youthful mind , "but those children
will go out Into life with n fixed idea
that an Island Is a piece of brown pa
per pinned on the wall. " The New
York Post says that two little "fresh
air" girls were noticed on the morning
after their arrival gazing at the land
scape with evident disapproval.
"What's the matter , children ? " asked
their hostess. "Why are you disap
pointed with the country ? "
"Why , there's no grass here , " said
one , pulling a blade and biting the end
of It.
The lady could only stare. "What Is
your idea of grass ? " she asked at last.
Little by little the truth catne out.
To begin with , grass , they thought ,
was about the height of a man.
"If this were taller , would It bo like
grass ? " asked the lady.
"Oh. no ! "
"How Is It different T
"Why , grass is black , " said one
child.
"Black and white , " added the other.
Then the explanation became ap
parent. They had drawn their Ideas
of vegetation from the black and white
prints of newspapers and books.
Linen In Maple Wood.
Nobody seems to know what cause
it is which produces those delicate and
beautiful lines in maple known an
blrdseye. Some people think they
come from the hundreds of little
branches which shoot out' over the
(
trunk of the tree as soon as a clearing
Is made around It. Expert tlmbermen
say that Is not the case. The only way
to tell a blrdseye maple tree is to cut
It. There are no outward signs by
which one can judge. The Railroad
Gazette tells a story of the late George
M. Pullman. Many years ago he was
offered a mahogany log for $3,000 , to
be cut Into veneers. It was supposed
to be a very fine piece of wood , but
this could only be determined by cut
ting It. He declined the offer , but
agreed to take the log cut Into veneers
for what it was worth. The owner
had it sawed and was paid $7,000 for
his veneers. Any one who can dis
cover the secret of determining the interior - ,
terior nature of wood from the outside
will have a fortune. \
Unhappy rrrlucenNei.
The figures the old maids presented
to the astonished court when they re
turned to take their places at Ver
sailles may be seen today In the portraits
traits by Natter | , which adorn the
walls of the palace where they lived
their futile , often mischievous lives.
The very names Louis Jovially fas
tened upon these melancholy dames 11-
lumlnato the scene and the attributes
of the royal maidens. Loque , Cache ,
Gralllc and Chlffo were the cndearlni :
titles by which the fond father ad
dressed his daughters. The terms arc
not quite translatable , but they signify
Hog , Piggy , Sloppy , Tatters. None
possessed n single trait of beauty , none
had Intellectual resources above the
ordinary scullion mold save the elder ,
Mine. Adelaide , who had Just enough
ability to make misery In court and
camp. Their existence was a constant
mortification of the flesh. Era.
A Story
Worth Telling
We never tire of telling the story
of U need a Biscuit. We do not
believe that lovers of good , whole
some food ever tire reading it.
U need a Biscuit are the result of
two ideas. That soda crackers could
be made better than they had ever
been made before. That it was pos
sible to convey them to the home
fresh , crisp and clean.
The importance of the soda cracker
as an article of daily consumption ,
made this worthy of extraordinary
effort. True , many people laughed at
the idea of so much thought time
labor capital , being devoted to a soda
cracker. But the greatest industries
of the greatest country in the world
have been developed from smaller
things than a soda cracker , and so
v it seemed worth while to make the
best soda cracker that could be
made and to place it on the table as
good as it had been made.
To do the first required the selec
tion of the best materials , of the best
equipment , the highest skill. To do
the second upset all traditions. The
oldest bakers said there was no
way to keep a soda cracker good.
She Tleimdlatcd the Charge.
At the men's service in a Yorkshire
parish the vicar tried to convey the lesson -
son that the truest heroes and heroines
are those vrho do noble deeds In the
secret corner of the homo , where none
can see or applaud.
"Eow of you seem to think , " he con
cluded , "that your wives staying at
homo uncomplainingly to mind the chil
dren and prepare the meals are
heroines , and yet their touching devo
tion to duty proves them to be so. " ,
It certainly hadn't struck one old
farmer in this way before , and as soon
as ho got homo ho promptly told his
wife that the vicar had called her a
heroine.
"Whatever does that mean ? " asked
the good lady.
"Oh , It means a woman who stays In
t' house Instead of goln' art to show
hersen , " explained the farmer vaguely.
"Then I'm not a heroine , an' I'll
thang t' vicar to mind what bo's say-
In' , " snapped the wife. "I go to his
church as much as t' other women do ,
an * ho must be blind if ho can't sco me.
Why , I'd five different colors In t'
bonnet I wore last Sunday ! " London
Answers.
Mark Twain' * Flr f Earning ; * .
Mark Twain was once asked by a
friend if ho remembered the first
money he had ever earned.
"Yes , " answered Mr. Clemens , puffIng -
Ing meditatively on his cigar , "I have
a distinct recollection of it When I
was a youngster , I attended school at
a place where the use of the birch rod
was not nn unusual event It was
against the rules to mark the desks In
any manner , the penalty being a fine
of $5 or public chastisement
"Happening to violate the rule on
one occasion , I was offered the alter
native. I told my father , and , as he
seemed to think it would bo too bad
for mo to bo publicly punished , ho
gave mo the ? 5. At that period of my
existence $5 was a large sum , whllo a
whipping was of little consequence ,
and so" hero Mr. Clemens reflective
ly knocked the ashes from his cigar
"well , " ho finally added , "that was
how I earned my first $5. "
Imitator * ,
Llttlo Ethel Mamma , Mrs. Next
door's children are playln' house In
their garden. Mayn't wo play house
In ours ?
w
Mamma Certainly.
Llttlo Ethcl-That'll bo lovely. Then
wo can qunrrel ovojj the back fence
just like real neighbors.
Him Coumo Clear.
"Say , " whispered the conductor to
the motormun , "that fat slob with the
Jag saya If I want his nickel I'll have
to whip him to get It Whut'll I do ? "
"None but the bravo deserve the
fare , " replied that worthy as ho put
on full speed In an effort to run over
a dog. Houston Post.
That no one expected it any way.
That people were satisfied to eat them
stale , as they had been in the habit
of doing. And so it fell to the lot
of younger minds to do this unheard
of thing to keep a soda cracker good
until eaten. T
The result was the creation of the
In-er-seal Package with red and white
seal. An invention that kept out the
air , moisture , dust germs , that first
retained the natural flavor of the bis
cuit , keeping it crisp and fresh until it
reached the table , and so Uneeda
' Biscuit , became a reality. The little
thing that seemed hardly worth while
became a great thing that seemed
hardly possible.
' To-day over 300,000,000 packages
have been consumed by the thought
ful people of this country and the de
mand is ever increasing.
That is the story of Uneeda
Biscuit * Some day we will tell it
over again for the benefit of those who
are still "satisfied" with the stale and
broken crackers that come
in a paper bag , when they
can get Uneeda Biscuit
whole , fresh , and clean.
NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY
BEARDS AND GLASSES ,
Ornament * That Are Rarely ;
Found Upon Hotel Walters.
"Ever see a waiter wearing glasses ? "
demanded the Inquisitor.
No one could remember , although
Just why a waiter should not bo seen
with glasses as well as any other man
was not apparent
"It's Just like the wearing of beards , "
went on the inquisitor. "Tho proprie
tors of our important hotels , restau
rants and cafes will not permit either
beards or glasses to bo worn by their
waiters. It is possible that In some
old fashioned family or commercial
{ hotel the servitors may bo found with
their noses straddled by optical helps ,
but you won't find 'em along Broad
way.
"Now , this Is a fact worthy of note
because In every other calling in life
the number of persons wearing glasses
Is on the Increase , and oven In our
schools a considerable percentage of
very small children will be found
wearing glasses , and while , as I say ,
hotel , restaurant and cafe proprietors
arc opposed to the glasses , still I have
seldom found a waiter whose eyes In
dicated that he was in the slightest
need of them.
"You may argue 'that restaurant
waiters are generally young men.
Graut you that Instantly , but all the
(
same thousands of men of similar ago
have to wear them In almost every
other occupation.
"Tho majority of thosr > servitors
commence In boyhood , and the demand
of their vocation causes no strain on
the eyesight Consequently that may
account In a measure for the absence
of any necessity for the use of specs.
Moreover , the steam from hot vlanda
would render thorn useless probably. "
New York Tolpgrnm
No Surlonx Urittt liiiuU.
Bridget was engaged to be married
to a young plumber , Ti'rence Dolnu by
name , and when , tVto weeks before the
day set for the wedding , she fell down
the ccltiir stairs she was in the depths
of woe.
"I've broke out one o' my front
teeth , " she walled to her mistress , "mid
my teeth has been my best beauty ,
ma'am ! Manny's the time Terence has
had mo show 'cm to his friends nnd
remarked how fine they were ! Oh ,
whut'll I do ? Whut'll I do ? "
"Tell Terence all about It when he
comes tonight , and I'm sure he'll say
bo's only glad you were not more se
verely Injured , " said her mistress , but
Bridget shook her head and refused to
bo comforted.
" 'Twould bo better for mo If I'd
broke some of my bones , " she said
gloomily , "and inaybo all of 'cm. "
That evening after Terence had conic
and gone Bridget appeared before her
mistress , the gloom gone nnd her face
set in a broad smile.
"I towld him all about It , " she said
gayly , "and lie says to mo , 'Wliars a
tooth more or less when It comes to
cookln' ? ' he says curelesslike and pass
ed on to Cassldy's wnkc as if 'twas no
matter at all ! "
A Fl h Story.
"Talk about fish and things of the
sea ! " said ho who claimed to bo a sea
faring man. " 'Twos In the year well ,
It was a good whllo ago and wo were
floating somewhere around well , one
of the oceans. One day we were head
ing sou * by sou'west , latitude I forget
exactly which when a ripple in the
water suggested the presence of a
shark. You can always tell a shark
by Its ripple. He's got one of his own.
Wo never landed a good specimen , and
when ho showed his head I could well
tell he was a ten footer. I always was
quick and precise. A knife in mo
mouth , a jump , and I landed headfore
most between the shark's jaws , Quick
as a flash I turned around. With me
knife I cut holes through his sides for
my legs and arms to pass through and
swam back to the ship. Well , he was
a fine morsel , that fish was , and we
lived on him for weeks. Is It true ?
Well" and he displayed a splinter from
the handle of the knife. Harper's
Monthly.
The IlnclMR : Camel.
The ordinary camel , which will never
hurry under any circumstances , has
been transformed In southern Algeria
Into nn anlpial so different in size , tem
per and appearance that It may almost
be looked upon as u different race. This
Is the racing camel , prized for its
speed. The result of many generations
of careful breeding , which has been en
couraged by valuable prizes , It can be
depended upon for nine or ten miles an
hour , which It can keep up for sixteen
or seventeen hours , almost without n
stop. Its value is five or ten times that
of the beast of burden. The camel
races are popular sport and arc made
exciting by the evident Interest of the
creatures themselves In winning.
What lie Had Read.
An unlettered Celt's application to
the Philadelphia court of naturaliza
tion resulted In the following dialogue ;
Judge Have you read the Declara
tion of Independence ?
Applicant No , sir.
Judge Have you read the constltu
tlon of the United States ?
Applicant No , sir.
Judge Have you read the history of
the United States ?
Applicant No , sir.
Judges-No ? Well , what have you
road ?
Applicant Ol have red hair on mo
head , your honor. _ ,
A New Salt In I'ro iieot.
"All my best gowns were destroyed'
In that railway wreck. "
"And didn't the company' give you
any redrcbs ? " New York Press.
The Word "Cafe. "
It Is really difficult to understand
how the word "cafe , " a French term ,
has come Into such general use in this
country and how It happens that It is
BO grossly misapplied. The term
means coffee , or n place where coffee
is sold , and what relation there Is be
tween a coffee shop and a place where
liquors arc sold we are at a loss to
know. It Is not improbable that the
Idea comes from combinations of bar
rooms and restaurants , in the latter of
which of course coffee Is sold , but to
our mind nothing seems more absurd
or more emphatically marks the mod
ern disposition to follow blind custom
than sticking up on the window where
only beer , liquor nnd wines arc sold
the word "coffee , " nnd that In a for
eign language. Were it not that an
ago of misnomer gives recognition to
this anomaly we would Just as soon
the'word "meat" or "bread" signalized
places where liquors arc sold. Either
would have as much sense and logical
application as "cafe. " Exchange.
TVo Need of ArslKtnnce.
The father of the family had stepped
Into a bookstore to buy a birthday
present for his fourteen-year-old son.
"What kind of book would you like ? "
asked the salesman to whom ho bad
confided his purpose.
"Something that would be useful for
the boy , " was his reply.
"Well , here Is a very good ono on
Self Help. ' "
"Self help ! " exclaimed the father.
"Ben don't need anything of that kind.
You'd ought to see him at the dinner
table ! "
lie FeeU It.
"Docs a draft give you cold chills
down your back ? " asked the philoso
pher.
"It does , " replied the wise guy , "when
my bank account Is overdrawn. " Cin
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Bobby'n Comment.
Little Bobby was inspecting the new
baby for the first time , and his dictum
was as follows :
"I s'pose It's nice enough , what tber
Is of it , but I'm sorry it ain't n parrot"
Tit-Bits.
Unfair.
"Don't you sometimes feel that
wealth Is unfairly distributed ? " asked
the social reformer.
" 1 do , " answered Senator Sorghum.
"Many Is the dollar I have given
away In a campaign that didn't do me
a cent's worth of good. " Washington
Star.
A * Other * See Him.
"Ah , he'll never be able to fill his fa
ther's shoes. "
"No. But he thinks his hat would
come down over the old man's ears all
right. " Chicago Record-Herald. r * <
