TITK NORFOLK NKWS : FRIDAY , OOTOIWU 2-1 , 11)02. ) 0
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[ O-O-
TALBOT'S
LESSON
. . . By MARY FRANCES
Copyright , 1001 , liy Mary 1'iviiceii
"Jack , ilcnr , yon Imvon't said n word
fcbotit Christinas. What shall we do ?
Here arc the ClotidciuiliiH asking us to
coiuo out to tholr house party , but I
thought If wo asked Molly and the
children to dinner and had n Christ
inas tree It would be"
"What In the world nrc you talking
nbout , Josephine ? Christinas ! Wo can
have Molly to dinner at any time , nnd
what do you want n Christinas tree
for ? "
"Why , Jack , what do you mean ? For
the presents for the children , of course ,
nnd then we could have a little party ,
nnd"-
"Joscphlnol I really thought you
were a sensible girl. If there's n piece
of nonsense on the face of the earth ,
It's this row nbout Christmas nothing
but n scrap of Aryan sun worship leftover
over ! And the silly custom of giving
presents la n relic of vassals paying
tribute. I'm surprised that you"
"Oh , Jack" she was almost crying
"don't you give presents at Christmas ?
nn anne THE Ltrxumous DRESSING DOWN.
We made so much of It at home. Why ,
I couldn't bear not to celebrate , nnd
this Is our ( Irst anniversary since wo
were married too. "
f
"My dear , celebrate It anyway you
like. If It's our first wedded Christ-
inns , It won't be our last , you know.
Go and get anything you like and have
the bill sent to me , but don't count me
In on any of these tiresome festivities.
After n fellow's knocked about the
world as I have , loaling down the Nile
In Egypt , shooting elephants In Africa ,
hunting tigers In India , Christmas and
other holidays don't mean anything
to him. "
"Jack Tnlbot , do you actually mean
to say that you don't Intend to cele
brate Christmas ? "
"My dear , It' I don't that Is no reason
it why you shouldn't celebrate nil you
* want to. "
* * "But If you don't celebrate how can
I ? You know we have always had all
our pleasures together. "
Jack Tnlbot looked cnlmlj nnd hnlf
coldly nt the ( lushed , beautiful face of
his wife across the tnble.
"Josephine , I really hope you are not
going to be foolish. Go nhcad , but I
must renlly draw the line on these
domestic roundups for myself. If you
have Molly and the children , let me
know In time , so I can go out to Tom
Unrcourt's stag party nt West Chester.
> Ileniomber we're due at the opera to
night. "
Josephine , her brain In a riot of
nnger and distress , sought the seclu
sion of her room , just as Molly was
ushered In.
"Put on your hat , Josle , and coino
down town with me. I'm finishing up
my shopping , and today's the last day
I'm going to be caught in that mob. I
nearly had my clothes torn off my back
yesterday , but I've got to get some
thing for Cousin Sarah. Whnt do you
suppose would suit that old frump ?
She makes me sick , but of course we've
fc got to keep on the right side of her , ns
r she's taken such a fancy to Harold. "
"Look here , Molly , " snld Josephine
5 suddenly , "do you really think It's any
use to give presents ? "
* ' "Josephine Torrlngton ! What on
earth la the matter with you ? For a
girl who always got nbout n cnrt load
of presents every Christmas you ought
to be ashamed of yourself ! Jack baa
spoiled you , giving you so much. Whnt
have you got for him ? "
' Josephine had an Inspiration. Sue
Jumped up.
"Molly , I'll go with you. I-I Just
remember what Jack wants. "
' Jack Talbot was half way through
his toilet on Christmas morning when
bo spied the luxurious dressing gown ,
fit for n nabob , that Josephine had laid
out for him.
"What the mlschlcf-ls this for met
1 thought It was some newfangled dud
of yours. What did you buy It for ?
* I have about half a dozen of such
things In some traps not yet unpack-
, ; * * ' 'Cd. "
' And poor Josephine , almost In hys
terics , nearly cried her eyes out after
v" . Jack liad gone to his club to see about
/ { a cob without giving her the wrappings
of her linger. Hut , being n woman ol
eplrlt , she sat up later In the afternoon
* nd said : "Walt till next ChrlstuiM ,
fuel. 7alhut , nu'i ' 1 ii i.o \\.ui you
( or this:1' :
*
A year rolled u round , and Christmas
wan again ut lutul , Just six days off.
Jack Tnlbot wit comfortably smoking
In his ollleo when the noon mall cnmo
In. nnd among the letters he spied the
Allnhnl.ad postmark and the writing
Df Hugh Tracy. Breaking the seal , ho
read :
Drar Old Man You ire a lucky fell' i , nd I
toncMtulate jou on ) our Chrlilma * under your
n \lnt > and ttg tree. I'm gUil jou'ie settled
down , and ulni'o I intmot In person ulutto jour
Christmas Joji I h.iu1 tent > eli as a present lor
I your charming ulle an l\orj lluddha , older \ > T
hundred * u ( > m than jmi or me , and U die \vlll
l. ) a pinjer lo him lor me I'll tuine liomc ui-xt
Jcir and rrlrlirnle all the holldajs In the ciilendar
ml Introduce a Mil to lia\c them doubled In tlia
lurijalii.
tloodliy , old fellow. I wish you both a u-ry
merry ( hrlstma , and , ltli devoted rcKimli to
Mrs. Talliot , I Bin , as e\cr , jours eternally ,
Ilucm.
"Wonder If he's had the fever , " mus
ed Jack , after/ / which ho went down to
the custom house. The bill rather
staggered him. It's a long way from
Allahabad to Now York , and Hugh
did not .seem to have prepaid nil the
charges. Jack nettled them and order-
id the god sent to his otllcc.
Before the week ended Tallot had
received lettern fairly bulging with
Christmas from his friends in most of
the Inhabited portions of the globe ,
and by some curious coincidence they
had nil sent gifts to his wife.
Vlnton Do Witt sent a case of priceless - '
less embroideries from 1'ersln , Tom
Mncy n stuffed tiger nnd n pair of |
boars' tusks from the heart ot 'Africa ,
Major Norton jewels from an old Hin
dee temple , Fred Bnyllss a chest filled
with rare bronzes , lacquer and Inlaid
work , and Gordon Taylor an array of
rugs and tapestries that would make
a collector turn green with envy.
Suave olllclals presented him with duo
bills for goods that had come half way
around the world , and other olllclals
suggested that he settle with Undo
Bam for tariff rates , and so It came to
pnss that he spent most of the week
before Christmas In the custom house
settling with the appraisers nnd cursIng -
Ing the robbery of the transatlantic
companies nnd the tariff rates of the
t niU'd .States.
( > n the evening before Christmas he
\\is ; In his olllco footing up the bills
\\Iien a idea t-amo to him. Ho pulled
out a private drawer and carefully
compared the dates of all the letters.
Then he looked at the accumulated
amount of the bills , exactly ? OM.U9.
Again ho thought harder than before.
Slowly n light began to dawn on his In
ner consciousness.
"By Jove , but It was clover ! " he said.
1 "And to think that I never suspected
. anything when 1 gave her nil those ad
dresses ! " After which he put on his
hat , went up town to n fashionable
furrier's and bought n dream of a
Bealskln jacket.
"Got any er nny engagements for
tomorrow , Josephine ? " he Inquired
that evening at dinner.
His wife looked serenely across the
table at him and arched her eyebrows
delicately.
"Tomorrow , dear ? No. Why ? Do
you want to go to the office earlier
than usual ? "
"Olllce ! Well , no ! The fnct Is , I
thought I'd take n day off tomorrow. "
It was 10 o'clock the next morning
when a van nbout the size of nn npnrt-
mcnt house drew up In front of the
Tnlbot residence. An hour later , amid
the. gorgeous scenic effects of rugs ,
jewels , bronzes , ivories , Indian dra
peries and curios of the orient , Jo
sephine looked artlessly Into her hus
band's eyes and said :
"How perfectly ravishing they nil
are , my dear , and how nice to have
them given to us by our- friends , so
they didn't cost anything ! "
Words failed Jack Talbot. lie silent
ly drew from its hiding place the seal
skin jacket for bio wife , and as she
slipped Into It and with a little femi
nine cry of delight felt its luxurious
warmth she thought :
"Poor old Jack ! But I had to do It. "
Female Jeitera.
Nothing better Illustrates the dull
ness of society In the middle ages than
the custom used by nil high plnced nnd
wealthy persons of keeping a profes
sional jester , nor -was It confined to
Christendom , for we rend that Cortes
found an Individual of this profession
nt the court of Montezuma. Our mod
ern clowns , though very different from
the licensed Jesters of old , owe to them ,
of course , their origin ; but , so far as I
know , the female jester , who was In
vogue before the male , has no present
representative.
We are told by Erasmus that In all
the great Inns on the continent there
was In his time a female ofllclal of
this description who enlivened the com
pany as she waited at table by witti
cisms and repartee. It should be added ,
however , that she was generally young
and pretty. So late as isr > 8 we read In
Mrs. Hornby's "Travels" that she
found a female Jester ut Constantinople
ple who was exceedingly amusing.
Anlmnln That Do Not Drink.
Darwin states In his "Voyage of a
Nnturallst" that unless the guanacos ,
or wild llamas , of Patagonia drink salt
water In many localities they must
drink none at all. The large and Inter
esting group of sloths are alike In never
drinking. A parrot Is said to have
lived In the zoological gardens , Regent
park , for fifty-two years without a
drop of water.
nnd
Geology Is the complement of biolo
gy. As soon as one hns mastered the
rudiments of botany and zoology nnd
of the distribution of life forms In
space the range of his thoughts should
bo extended to take in the orderly sue.
cession of Ufa in past ugcs and the evolution
lution of modern specialized planla
and nnlfuRls from the earlier gener
alized type * .
DON'T GET TOO FULL ,
'I'lln Mny lit * li < > iirm < il Krnt *
the Iliilitln of the lli'cn.
"Don't stir up a beehive unless you
know It Is a rich one , " said an apiarist
to a visitor at his hue farm.
"I think that I would leave them
nlonc altogether , " was the roply. "Thoy
have too angry a buzz nbout them to
win my confidence. "
"You are not used to them , that's
nil , " said the beeman. "For example ,
these hives are full of honey , and If 1
puff a little Hiuoko Into the doors so as
to sort of suffocate the sentries 1 can
topple a hive over , handle the boon
like BO many boaim. clean the honey
combs nnd curry them off. The been
won't harm me. " And , to prove bin
words , the speaker performed his ex
periment and came back to his friend
with n smile nnd several heavy combs
of honey.
"If those hives hnd been nearly
empty , " said the apiarist , " 1 would
have been lucky to have escaped with
my life. The tenants of a poor hlvo
sting to kill. "
"That's strange , " said the visitor.
"I should think that they would do-
1 fend their hoards with especial Jcal-
1 ousy , and the more they have the hot
ter they would fight. "
I "The reason Is , " said the beeman ,
"that * When alarmed the bees 11 y to
i their storehouse and gorge themselves.
When full of honey , n bee can't bend
Its body and sting. "
"Which should be n lesson to us , "
said the other. "Don't get too full.-
Ncw York Tribune.
A Punctual Illrd.
What tempts the little humming
bird that we see In our gardens to
travel every spring from near the
equator to as far north as the nrctle
circle , leaving behind 'him , ns ho docs ,
for a season , many tropical delights ?
He Is the only one of many humming
birds that plucklly leaves the land of
gayly colored birds to go Into volun
tary exile In the north , cnst of the Mis
sissippi. How It stirs the Imagination
| to picture the solitary , tiny migrant , n
mere atom of bird life , moving above
the range of human sight through the
vast dome of the sky ! Borne swiftly
onward by rapidly vibrating little
wings , ho covers the thousands of
miles between his winter homo and his
summer one by easy stages and ar
rives at his chosen destination , weath
er permitting , nt approximately the
same date year after year. Couutry
Life In America.
IIU IlL-Nt Hole.
They were discussing the amateur
theatricals of the previous evening ,
and Thosnls.was bewailing the hard
luck that hnd brought on a violent
headache and prevented his appear
ance.
"Do you know , old boy , " he said con
fidentially , "that was to have been the
effort of my life. I hnd the love sccuo
down fine , and Mildred's heart must
have been of stone If she failed to sco
that I was In earnest I was willing
to stake everything on the result , for
I was confident she would accept me
the moment the curtain went down.
And to think that my usual hard luck
would step In Just when all my hopes
were about to be realized ! "
"I heard Mildred refer to your nou-
appearance , " remarked Payer.
"You did ? And what did she say ? "
"Said you performed an act of char
ity by not coming on. "
It PiirrlLHtm. .
It Is said of a former Marquis of
Townshend that when young nnd en
gaged In bnttle he saw n drummer at
his side killed by n cannon ball which
scattered his brains In every direction.
Ills eyes were nt once fixed on the
ghnstly object , which seemed to en
gross his thoughts. A superior officer
observing him supposed he was Intim
idated nt the sight nnd nddressed him
In a mnuner to cheer his spirits. "Oh ! "
said the young marquis , with calm
ness , but severity. "I am not frightened ,
I nin puzzled to mnke out how hny mnn
with such n quantity of brains ever
came to be here ! "
Too True to lie Profitable.
"How about that historical novel ? "
asked the publisher.
"No good nt all , " answered the read
er to whom It had been assigned. "The
man doesn't understand how to write
historical novels , nnd he hasn't pervert
ed the truth as we know It enough to
make any kind of a rumpus among the
critics. Ills book would fall flat"
Chlcngo Post.
Tvro Hnlilen For u Cent.
A novel poster wns seen by a recent
sojourner In Novn Scotln. It was print
ed on rough paper with red paint , In a
childish hand , and was tacked to a tel
egraph pole in a conspicuous position :
"There will be a concert and fair In
Mrs. Parson's sitting room today nt 2
o'clock sharp. Admission adults , 5
cents ; children , 2 cents ; bnbles , two for
a cent. "
Slitting Tree Hark.
When a young fruit or shade tree
stops growing nnd looks as If It were
about to give up the struggle for ex
istence , the trouble mny often be traced
to Its being barkbound. In this case
a long perpendicular slit in the bark
will cnablo It to resume Its natural
growth.
The Value of Science.
Science Is n first rate piece of furni
ture for a man's upper chamber If he
lias common sense on the ground lloor ,
but If a mnn hasn't plenty of good
common sense the more science he has
the worse for the patient Oliver Wen
dell Holmes.
EttriMUCN Meet.
"Wcrc-you positive enough when you
told the old man you intended to marry
his daughter ? "
"Yes , but ho wns negative. " Cincin
nati Commercial Tribune.
U , . I.Ill . . .lllllV SIlM ( *
It In rein I'll > > i liouoriil NYiiilo Hamp
ton that on < MII > invasion he WIIN rid
ing nloiiK n | il.hwahut , ( led through
ono of his iiuniiTnim southern planta
tions \\heii he iiirt n Nliixo of line build
und appearance , lie drew rein and
wild : "You are a llkol.v fellow. Who do
you belong to ? " "Wade Hampton , Hlr , "
"Ah ! And who In Wade Hampton ? "
"Please , sir , master , you inns' bo from
tie norf , 'lease Mas' Wade Hamilton In
do berry fust gemmun In de soul' . "
The story used to In- told to Illustrate
the greatness In nmuhcrH of Wade
Hamilton's slaves. Ills own nlnves did
not know him by sight ( hat Is , hun
dreds and thousands of them did not.
The slaves ho owned numbered -l.dOO ,
and ho was therefore the largest Hlavti
owner of the south or of modern tlme.M.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
A Hit ) III Tllllnlllllll.
For ' 100 years the Holion/.ollerii fam
ily has possessed a peculiar talisman
In the Hhnpo of a black stone hot In a
ring , each head of the house having
passed the charm on to the next In Hue-
cession for many generntlotiH. Fred
erick the Great Is said to have found
the ring sealed In a package with In
structions IIH to Its preservation and
transmission written by Frederick I.
Precisely what value or significance
attaches to thin carefully treasured bit
of Jewelry It would bo dlllleull to miy.
Tradition says that a huge toad hopped
Into the royal presence centuries ago
with the stone hold In Its mouth. As
to whether the golden setting In which
the stone Is now preserved IH duo to
the forethought of the Intelligent toad
or to the afterthought of the llohen-
zollorns tradition fulls to enlighten us.
Head Floorwalker ( severely ) I heard
you tell the lady she would find the
ribbons at the third counter to the left.
Now Floorwalker That'H where they
nre.
nre.Head
Head Floorwalker Yes ; but you
should have told her to go to the right
pa-st the necktie bargain counter , turn
to the left pant the stocking bargain
counter , then three counters to the
right past the Bilk skirt bargain coun
ter , and so on. You'll never make a
floorwalker. Judge.
One Mi-fliillloii ot U.
"What do you consider domesticity
In iiiiinV"
"It Is the trait of wanting to stay
home when his wife wants him to go
out with her. "
"And what Is domesticity In wom
an ? "
"That Is the trnlt of being willing to
stay home when her husband wants to
go out without her. " Chicago Post
Fond of Ilookn.
H. Is your boy fond of books ?
D. Very. I gave him n copy of
"Uoblnson Crusoe" the other day , nnd
he got lots of fun out of It.
H. 1 didn't know bo could rend.
D. lie can't read , but ho tears tha
pngos out and makes boats of them.
Oh , yes ; he's fond of books !
SnvliiK IIU Father' * Ilnlr.
Lord Charles was often troubled by
Importunate acquaintances , who beg
ged for some of his father's ( the Duke
of Wellington ) hair. On such occa
sions ho said to an old servant whose
hair was like the duke's : "Sit down ,
John. I must cut off another lock ! "
PLACEBO PRESCRIPTIONS.
An Old Doctor TcIU a Secret of IIU
I'rofeNNlon.
"Never tell a patient that there is
nothing the matter with him , " said the
old doctor , who was revealing the se
crets of his profession. "If you do , you
mnke a lifelong enemy and lose your
pntlcnt , who sends for another doctor
Give him something , If It is only flavor
ed water. If the disease Is only Imagi
nary , cure the Imagination with a
harmless dose , and your patient gets
well. In the profession we call such
prescriptions 'placebos , ' and more won
derful cures are effected by placebos
thnn the world wets of. So , nlso , when
you run ncross n patient who an
nounces the ilrst thing that he ciinno
take cortnln sorts of medicine , don1
tell him he must Agree with him nnd
give him the medicine , if he needs It
In a disguised form.
"There are thousands of people who
Inbor under the conviction that they
cannot take quinine and will tell you
that they have never taken It in their
lives , while at the same time they mnj
be taking largo doses of it. The taste
of quinine is hard to disguise , but i
administered In a pill the patient cai
be made to take It and never suspoc
what he 1ms swallowed. The trouble
Is the patient is apt to recognize n
quinine pill by Its appearance , to sus
pcct , bite into the pill and thus dls
cover your ruse. To obviate this dlfll
culty druggists now have pills of qul
nine made in odd shapes and colors
Pink pills , containing nothing but qul
nine nnd n little harmless coloring mat
ter , are a favorite form for use in case
where an antlqulnlno crank hns to b
medicated. In giving n placebo it is no
vrlso to have it tnste too well. The pa
tlent Is npt to suspect if you do. And
be sure that you grnvcly Impress upon
the patient thnt only a teaspoonful Is
to be taken nt a time nnd thnt nt stated
Intcrvnls. The whole virtue of n plnce
bo exists In the solemnity nnd impor
tnnce with which you surround it. "
New York Press.
Llrlnir In n Crnter.
Thcro la no more interesting or curl
ous Might on this earth thnn the intcrlo
of the extinct crater , Aso San , nbou
thirty miles from the city of Kumn
inoto , In Japan. This peculiar locallt
is Inhabited by 20.000 people , who llv
and prosper within Us vertical wall 800
feet high. The Inhabitants rarely mnl ;
a journey Into the outer world , bu
form , as it were , a little nation b
themselves.
THE GAME OF GAMES ,
I
Julf , SIIJN Thin \VrlliM' , lutolvr * Art ,
N. Ho HIMnnd liiMilrnllon. ,
II l.s true Hint there IH a point of I
lew from which golf may be rcjrunlcd
H nn oMi'i'inoly nlmplc game-the very '
Implex ! of nil the giitncM with n bull
ml a Hub , says William (1. Brown In
he .lime Atlantic. The player's object
K Nlinplo anil single to the point of
Implo inltidediioHH and slnnnlnrlly , ono
night nay to pnl a small ball In a
mall hole with the fewest possible '
Irol.oH. But HO are the obJectH of the
Ugliest ambitions , the gnMIng slurs of
areet'M the most perplexed and ilesl-
IIIH. It IH Iriii ) , lll.eulse , that all the
ountlcsH Hlrokc.s a golfer miiKcH an *
cHohahlc Into three Kinds of stroke -
Irlvlng , approaching and putting. But
Mr. Kvoninl , In a lecture unmirpiiHxcd
'or truth and brilliancy by nny In all
ho extremely clover literature of golf ,
IIIH declared that to make those three
MrokcH aright one must have "art , HC- !
nice and Inspiration. "
From the moment the ball leaven ( he
ce , whether It be topped , pulled or
sliced or whether , struck In proper
fashion n trille below the medial line
mil urged forward with nn exquisite
free liiHhlng out of the wrlHtH , It taken
light IIH with wlngH and HCCH | HH trim
course MH with n mind and purpose of
IH own until It drops Into the cup with
n tintinnabulation that no louder clang
or pienn over HurptiHHed In Its HiiggcH-
Lion of victory and conHiunmatlon ,
there Is no foreseeing what perplexity
or temptation to oarolemmoHH or overconfidence -
confidence It will present.
Not twice off the too ground and the
[ Hitting green will the possibilities and
probabilities of the ntroko bo quite the
Ha me. In the He , the wind , the dis
tance to be traversed , the obstacles to
hu carried , there tire variations not to
be reckoned by any known mathemat
ics.
ics.Then
Then , i\a \ the match approaches Its
dreadfully quiet climax of defeat or
victory , the roHponslblllly may grow
positively appalling. The very delib
eration which , Impossible In most
games , IH HO clianicterlsllc of this , so
far from lessoning the strain on one's
nervoH , undoubtedly heightens II. Ono
has time to estimate the emergency , to
realize the crlslH.
Not the tlcrccHl rally at tennis , not
the longest , and timeliest home run at
baseball , not the most heroic rush at
football , requires a more rigid concen
tration of thought anil energy or a
more dauntless courage than the file ! ;
of a putter that sends the ball crawl
ing on HH last little Journey across the
putting green when the pu IH f r the
hole nnd the hole means the match.
There Is not a quality of mind or body
I will iiot except or qualify at all
no , not ono , that life Itself proves ex
cellent which a circuit of the links will
not test.
Tin ; Deeliirntloii.
It Is a rather curious fact that whlla
facsimiles of the Declaration of Inde
pendence were common enough sev
eral years ago and wore largely used
for advertising purposes they arc now
very scarce HO scarce that a Phila
delphia collector recently paid $10 for
ono bearing the advertisement of a
western railroad. The original docu
ment , preserved In glass , Is still to bo
seen In the possession of the depart
ment of slate In Washington , but It has
become so faded an to be nearly Illeg
ible , by reason of which a photograph
ic reproduction would be Miluolcsa.
James D. McBrldo had plates made
nnd secured a copyright on them In
187-1 , but those plates wore later de
stroyed by fire , and none arc now In
existence. Consequently the copies that
have been preserved arc constantly In
creasing In value. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Triir-
Drury lane wns named after the
great family of the Drurys who once
lived there , and Clare market after
Lord Clare. The fame of Drury lane
Is worldwide. Who has not heard of
the famous pantomimes at Drury Lane
theater and of the many famous actors
and actresses who have played there ?
Who has not read of the wild exploits
of Nell Gwynn , the ( lower girl , who ob-
tnlned such an ascendency over the
Merrlo Monarch ? Popys calls her "Pret
ty Nell" and records how he saw her
In Drury lane "standing nt her lodg
ing's door In her smock sleeves nnd
bodice , a mighty pretty creature. "
Chaubcrs * Journal.
A Good Prophet.
Cassldy Kearney seems to be doln'
well in his prlslnt Job.
Casey Ah , but he'll not lasht long
in it ! -
Cassldy He seems daclnt an" saber
now.
Casey Aye , but he'll not lasht n
month. Ol've said so Ivor since he got
the Job two years ago , an * Ol'll bet
Ol'm right Philadelphia Press ,
The Trn'mp Flendy For Anf Job.
The gay cat applies for a Job where
ho hears men are wanted , ho knows
not for what "Can you drive four ? "
asks the boss. It may bo the hobo
doesn't know whether it Is four nails
or four tent stakes ho Is to drive , but
ho confidently answers : "Sure thing !
Had a job driving four last mouth
at " ( any of the 10,000 plJKes ho hns
been to , so he can answer questions if
the boss Is Inclined to put them ) , and
the next morning , finding the "four"
ho is to drive are horses , ho confiden
tially approaches n fellow employee
with , "Say , Bud , show me how to put
the harness on the plugs , will you ? "
Asked if ho knew how to make watches
or dynamite cartridges , ho would doubt
less Buy he did. He might fall nt ci
ther , but he would not weakly deny
himself an opportunity to try. This Is
not true of nil , but it is n distinctive
trait born of necessity in men that seek
employment in many and various fields.
Leslie's Monthly.
li- | ilnu IVIcniln ,
Tlier ? IH imU/ig HO very dllllcnlt In
making friends ; the trouble IH to keep
them. I'letiHlng manners and a taking
way will always win iidmlrerM. but n
IfiHtlng I'i'leiulHlilp must be built upon
n firmer foundation than a transitory
onille , an hour of high spirits or ctcii
great physical beauty. Of coiirw It Is
n pleasure to feel that one IH favor , d
by Homo radically beautiful woman ,
but unle.sii there ho. genuine congenial
Hy between the two concerned the iliuo
will come when passive lovellni HM u II
cease to be attractive. To retain frli ml
fillip one must be continually on the
wnteli and not let I ho familiarity that
comes from n lengthy knowledge of
the other's life breed the contempt thnt
no often follows a clone Intimacy.
To retain either friendship or love
the Illusions innsl not be dispelled. Do
not , because you feel Hiiro of your
ground , let the commonplace enter In
and monopolUo the everyday affairs.
Lot the halo of sentiment hover over
oven the prosaic affairs of dally life ,
for , once dispelled , they can never form
ngaln , and In the ono glimpse of the
material Hide of the Intlmuey may bo
utterly destroyed a relation at ono
tlmo thought to bo eternal.
A NIIIIHT Fit.
An HngllHh tourist In the hlghlandH
tells ( he following anuiHlng story : Ho
wan traveling ono day last summer by
rail In the north of Scotland , and atone
ono of the stations Tour fanners en
tered the train. They were nil big ,
burly men and completely filled up the
seat on the ono slclo of the compart
ment.
At the next station the carriage door
opened to admit a tall , cadaverous In
dividual with about the girth of n
lamp poHt Ho endeavored to wedge
himself In between two of the farmers ,
nnd finding It n difficult operation ho
uakl to one of them : "HxctiHc mo , Hlr ;
you must move up a bit. Haeh sent IH
Intended to accommodate five persons ,
nnd according to act of parliament you
are only entitled to eighteen Inches of
space. "
"Aye , aye , my friend , " replied the
farmer ; "that's a' very gnld for you
that'H been built Hint way , but je
on mm blame mo If I hti'im been oon-
Hlrucklt according to act of parlia
ment ! "
Scotn In Aniorlciiii lIlMdirj- .
It IH n noteworthy fact In American
history that of the four members of
Washington's cabinet Knox of Mnssa-
, chiiHottH , the only Now Knglandcr , WIIH
n Scotch-Irishman ; Alexander Hamil
ton of New York was a Scotch-French
man , Thomas Jefferson was of Welsh
descent , and the fourth , ISdmnnd Itnn-
> dolph , claimed among his ancestors the
Scotch earls of Murray. Now York
also furnished the first chief Justice of
the United States , John Jay , who wan
a descendant of French Huguenots ,
while the socoiid chief justice , John
Uutlodgo , wns Scotch-Irish , ns were
also Wilson nnd Iredoll , two of the
orlgtnnl associate Justices ; n third ,
Bhilr , was of Scottish origin. John
Marshall , the great chief Justice , wns ,
like Jefferson , of Scotch nnd Welsh
descent Charles H. Hannn's "Celt In
Amcrlcn. "
A Choice of IlyntiiN ,
When the Kngllsh troops In South
Africa were dully expecting the an
nouncement of a peace settlement with
the Boor leaders , a worthy dean tele
graphed to Lord Kitchener from the
Orange River Colony , saying , "As I am
the acting chaplain and conducting dl-
vine service In many camps tomorrow ,
mny I ask If the hymn 'Pence , Perfect
Peace , ' would not be n most appropri
ate one to give out to be sung ? " And
the great "K. " wired buck , "Please
yourself , but I think 'Onward , Chris
tian Soldier ! ' quite ns good. "
Irlnh the I > iiinriiiiKo of Iovern.
The Irish language Is above all oth
ers the Innguugo of lovers. You mny
find in French or Spanish or Italian su
perlatives or diminutives of endear
ment , but you will never find anything'
eo soft , so sweet , so subtle , so sad and
sometimes so rapturously extravagant
as you will find In the Irish language.
Sydney Freeman.
Working Film.
Borroughs Say , old man , can yon
break a twenty so 1 can get a five dollar
lar bill out of It ?
Murkley Sure ! Here you are. Where
IB your twenty ?
Borroughs Oh , you misunderstood
me ! I thought you had a twenty.
Thanks ! Quo five will do. Philadel
phia Press.
Literally.
"I suppose , " said the supercilious
etranger In town , "your city has hnd
Its ups nnd downs notwithstanding Its
present prosperity. "
"Yep , " replied the resident cheerful
ly ; "still got 'em streets being torn
up and old buildings being torn down. "
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Voice * to Order.
A knowledge of the physiology of th
human larynx hns made it possible to
supply artificial voices to persons who
have been deprived of the one nature
gave them , and' a number of cases ex
ist where the cavity has been opened
and n larynx made of suitable mate
rial with rubber membranes has been
Inserted and become practically useful
In speech.
He Wept.
The extensive authority of parcnta
under the Chinese laws Is well known.
A Chinaman of forty years , whoso
aged mother flogged him every day.
shed tears in the company of one of
his friends.
"Why do you weep ? " ho was asked.
"Alas , things are not as they used to
bef answered the devoted son. "Tho
poor woman's arms grow feebler ev
ery dayl" Sporting Times.
