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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 1902)
-I.U i n r , i. miAi , ui/JLUJlliJK , IUU2 ,
| VALET'S H <
! STORY tt *
By J. HAMILTON GRAHAM
OijritfM > | / , iPOil < v.i. X. *
I liinl boon In hard UIIOH when Mr.
Wellington took ino Into Ills service.
Tlio failure of my employers , a huge
woolen linn , Inul thrown me out of
employment , mid , go whore 1 would ,
there wore no clerical openings. It
coined IIH If London fairly swarmed
wltfi clerks looking for positions. I
was rapidly becoming desperate.
Our mooting was poculliir , A loafer
In a Hiniill park whore I wan lounging
hi eked a line looking dog that camu
bounding niul barking Joyously to the
bench wo occupied together. The dog
howled with pain. I gave the loafer it
sounding eulT for IIH ! brutality , and the
next moment Arthur Wellington stood
before me , thanking mo for avenging
lite Injury to his pet.
Wo ehntted for a minute or two after
the loafer slunk off , and the first thing
I know Mr. Wellington WIIH drawing
HE UA1) UnN JIKAI > I'OU T111IUB-QUAKTKI13
Ol' AN IlUUlt.
out my hard luck story. Next he sat
down on the bunch with me , and ten
lulnutea later I wan engaged ns his
valet , n position 1 hud nuver held In
my life and with whoso duties 1 was
utterly unfamiliar. Hut I was wide
nwako nml smart , as you UK English
men go , about twenty-two , fairly well
educated and of good face and figure.
I think ho was actuated by more than
n desire to do mo a Rood turn. In per
sonal appearance 1 would do him cred
it. lie had the written testimony of
business men that I was faithful and
honest , and I think he .sized me up as
one whose prudence and discretion
could be relied on. The pay was better
than a head clerk's and the duties nei
ther humiliating nor onerous. My gen
tleman had tine apartments In a fash
ionable street. Once a week n charwoman -
woman came In to wash windows and
wax floors , but at all other times I had
the care of the rooms. He had the
value of 0,000 In his apartments , and
everything was In my keeping. Money
was placed In my hands to pay many
of the bills , and I was not treated with
n tenth part of the degradation that
falls to the lot of the average clerk or
Arthur Moreton Wellington was a
man of thirty-five when I took sen-Ice
with him. He had liberal means , and
bis only thought was of society and
pleasure , but he was neither dissipated
nor did he have au unsavory reputa
tion. So far as I could judge he was
not a marrying man , but at the same
time he was n man who fell head over
heels In love with every new and
pretty face. There would be flowers
and presents , billets doux and suppers ,
the opera and grand dinners , and then
the affair would be off. Now and then
one of the women who had been drop
ped when the glamour was gone would
call at the rooms and cither weep or
threaten , but nothing ever came of it.
lie had to trust me with these little
affairs , but he never did mo the wrong
to hint that I must keep a close mouth.
1 bad been with him three years
when he fell in love with an American
actress who was tilling an engagement
In London. She had a hundred admir
ers , a thousand perhaps , but inside of
a month my gentleman had the Hold
to himself. It was amazing the amount
of money he squandered on that wom
an. It was tlowers three times n day ,
expensive dinners every evening anil
presents of diamonds , pearls and ru
blcs. I heard some of his friends argue
with him , but it did no good. He was
In love , as he had been twenty times
before , but with no thought of mar
rlage. Had not other gentlemen of
means and leisure entered the lists
against him he would not have been
driven so far , but he was bent on out
doing them all. On three different oc
casions the lady came to the rooms
with other guests. She seemed to me
only fair looking and to bo an adven
turess , at least In spirit ; but , of course ,
I was rather prejudiced.
At the end of about a month , true to
his capricious nature , my gentleman
wanted to have done with the affair.
In that time he had squandered about
15.000 for her benefit I don't think
she cared a rap for him , but as there
had been a great deal of public gossip
Bhe naturally felt piqued and Indig
nant at his cooling down. I knew
when the break came. I wan told that
Flic might call and wan ordered not to
admit her. Mud my gentleman taken
n run over to Purls for a few week *
nil might have been well , but ho refused <
fused to Htlr out of London , The ac
tress called , IIH expected , and WIIH told
that lie WIIH out. Her wordu were fair
and her mnllcH pleasant , but I caught n
IhiHh of her C.VCH and a tightening of
her llpH to prove that her visit WIIH not
a friendly one.
A week after that , when the actress
had consoled herself by elevating an
M. P. over the heads of her Hi 111 nu
merous train of admirers , my gentle
man had a headache and letnalned at
liotue for the evening. It had come 10
o'clock when a young man called. 1
luul never HOCII him before , but there
were many callers who were strangers
"No cards , my man , If Arthur IH
home , I'll just walk right In on him
ind give him a surprise , lleen In Chi
na and .Japan for three years , you
know , but used to be his host chum ,
Egad , but I'll have him out of thin in
ten minutes. "
Frequently callers entered thus with
out formality. It was not until dnys
ater that I remembered that his figure
lldn't look manlike , his voice WIIH too
Ight and his mustache didn't look
[ ho real thing. He was Inside a full
lour. When he came out , I was clean-
tug a pair of shoes and gave him no
ittontlon , and he went olt whistling.
it WIIH still another hour before I en
tered my gentleman's rooms for his
> rcakfast order. He was Hitting In his
favorite chair , but he had been dead
'or throe-quarters of an hour. I exam
ined him carefully before giving the
alarm , but found no wound.
There was grout excitement when
the police took hold of the case. The
doctors decided that he had been poi
soned by the prick of a pin. For u
week or HO the detectives searched
ilgh and low for the "old chum" wild
Had Just returned from the cast , but
hen they came to the conclusion that
.10 was a myth. None of my gentle
man's friends had ever heard of such a
man. I could describe him to n dot ,
but the detectives Insisted that It was
some one In disguise. I readily agreed
with them In the new theory. I even
suggested to them that It was n wom
an and whispered the name of the
Then all of a sudden the men on the
case began to grow lukewarm , but not
Dcforo they had made many discover-
CH. The woman was off the stage that
night. She had bought a suit of men's
clothing two or three days before. She
had made her boasts of getting even ,
aml the news of the tragedy caused
iicr isJiSlfftl TO Jjtei > s pf K nt. NO
cose was workodup figulnst her be
cause she had among her admirers half
A dozen of the most Influential men in
England and one bearing almost the
highest title In the umpire. Had she
been arrested they must have used
every exertion to defeat | ustlcq ajul
save themselves. Then came 'a time
when I acted under direct orders. The
poisoned pin had been left behind. Un
der Instructions I HWOI-O that It was
one Kent to my gentleman from India
and that ho must have accidentally In
flicted the wound with his own hand.
And so my gentleman sleeps his last
sleep unavenged , and a fair woman
Ptlll dances and sings and smiles , while
half a dozen great men carry her se
Mnn Sliuulil Live a Century.
There Is no reason why , with proper
food taken according to season , at
proper Intervals and In proper quan
tity , men should not live invariably ,
accidents excepted. to a hundred years.
In fact , taking the length of life of an
imals as n criterion , this should bo the
length of life in men. The length of
life of an animal should bo four times
the years It takes for It to arrive at
maturity , and , as a man may be said
to arrive at perfect maturity at the ago
of twenty-flve years , so ho should on
this hypothesis live to a hundred. Gen
A IMcturcBQne Mountain.
In Surrey county , N. C. . tnere Is a
mountain whose outline displays n
striking likeness to the sphinx of
Egypt. It Is in the northwestern part
of the state , Just cast of the Blue
Itldge range , and lies prone upon the
Piedmont plains. At a distance of ten
miles the tlgure Is the exact counter
part of that of a gigantic lion , Its body
at right angles to the precipitous ridge
and with head reared aloft as If lu the
act of rising.
Some years ago , not being able to ac
count for the disappearance of eggs , a
wire cage trap was set In a fowl run.
After n little time this was occupied
not by n rat , but a line hedgehog tilled
to Its utmost capacity tbo trap. It
was reset , to be filled In a few days by
Mrs- Hedgehog ! No more eggs wcro
missed. London Times.
nigglns How is It you are always
Idling about ? I never see you when
you have anything to do.
Wiggins The fact Is , It takes so
much of my time looking after other
folks' business I have none left for
looking after my own. Don't you find
something like the same trouble your
self ? Boston Transcript.
"Andyou see , there are plenty of
closets , " Bald the tlat owner , showing n
lady through the apartments.
"Do you call those closets ? " replied
the lady. "Why , gracious me , they're
not big enough to even keep our family
ekeleton In ! " Yonkers Statesman.
Ilememherii the Klndueinei.
"lie says his proudest boast Is that
ho never forgets n kindness. "
"That's right. Ho never docs forget
one that he does you , and he won't let
you forget U either. " Philadelphia
IMPROVING SCHOOLYARDS ,
"U'onini llrnntlf ) IIIK I nulnlitlj' IMurpn
In .Mini ) ' Tim M * ,
Many branches ( if the womcn'n
auxiliary of the American f'ark and
Outdoor Art association are giving
primary attention to school surround
ings , The yards , front and rear , where
opportunity for Improvement IH open
are no longer left In their grassless and
unadorned condition , Hays the New
York Tribune. Trees are set along the
curb strlpH , climbing shrubs planted
along the walls , and flower beds laid
out In artistic arrangement are scat
tered In the open spaces. The result IB
that many of the most unsightly
schoolyards In various towns have be
come blooming and attractive areas ,
contributing alike to the coinfort of
the pupils and their artistic culture.
The programme of the auxiliary
branches Is to take the worst school
areas llrst , and a most gratifying fact
ts the Interest which the children hav
ing the most squalid home conditions
have developed In promoting the im
provement of their schoolyards. The
Juvenile tendency to destroy things of
beauty has been easily checked , HO that
no efforts of the branches relative to
schools have been wasted.
In somu Instances prizes for the best
looking yards have Introduced a profit
able rivalry on the part of the Kchools.
iVmong the various experiments tried
Is the HticcoHHful one of encouraging
the pupils to secure shrubs and plants
and tlowers for themselves and setting
them out under older guidance. This
plan has fostered n sense of ownership
which Inspires boys and girls to more
attention and care of the Improved
One Instance was cited In which the
boys , with small carts and wheelbar
rows , cleared a rough space of debris
nnd with hoes and rakes leveled the
area , while the girls lent their aid In
setting the vegetation for growth nnd
adornment. This case was read ns n
text for the topic of teaching the
school children to take a prominent
part In the beautifying and protection
of Rchool territory.
The auxiliary branches are not con
fining their attention to schools. They
are devoting time to the adornment
of nooks by the aide of the railways ,
unseemly areas near factories and , In
fact , bringing the aid of green na
ture to cover up nnd to screen places
that offend the eye nnd detract from
the general beauty of the town. Fur
ther , the auxiliaries have taken Inter
est not only In matters of adornment ,
but in things sanitary , counseling with
boards of health nnd Inspiring the re
moval of whatever menaces the public
health. j - *
THE TOWN'S ROADS.
There In No Ilettor A lvertlnomcn <
Than Gooil IllKhvtnyn.
The matter of Improved highway
construction and maintenance can now
be said to be before the people as nev
er before In the history of the coun
try , says Good Honda Magazine. The
value of good roads to all Industries is
becoming so well understood and ap
preciated , especially by those who have
given the subject study , that further
facts seem scarcely necessary. The
saving on the wear and tear of horses
nnd vehicles , the heavier loads that
can be hauled , the fewer number of
horses required on a good road as com
pared with a poor one , the economy In
time to business men , arc points that
appeal to every one.
There Is no better advertisement for
the country , the city or the town , nor
Is there anything that helps to In
crease the popularity of a section and
the value of its property more than
good roads do. The Impressions of the
stranger always depend upon the char
acter of the roads nnd streets , and if
he is seeking a location he will bo gov
crned by his Impressions.
Many sections of the country , espe
cially the south , have been practically
depopulated by the Isolation resulting
from bad roada. The remedy is clear.
Give the people the means of readily
reaching their neighbors , the towns
and schools , and n change Is wrought
ut once. Education becomes general
and resources are developed. The
youth Is contented to remain nt home
Instead of seeking the already over
Tree Planting AloiiK Htah-rrnyn.
If the earth of the roadway Is heavy
and ditllcult to drain , shade trees
should not be planted too closely to
gether , nnd they should bo trimmed of
all heavy foliage to a considerable
height from the ground so ns to let in
the sun and air and thus hasten the
drying of the road after n .storm , says
Country Ilouds. If the ground Is wcl
drained , nothing will add more to the
beauty of the road or to the pleasure
of the traveler than a line of sturdj
trees on either side of the road. Elms
rock maples , horse chestnuts , oaks
beeches and pines are among the fa
vorites Hi different parts of the conn
try. The soil and climate will deter
mine what tree can be set out to the
best advantage , and the Judgment of
the reader will guide him as to wha
distance apart the trees should be
planted. Thirty feet for elms nnd
shorter distance for less spreading va
rletles will serve as nu approximate
rule. Trees should not be planted too
near a line of umlerdrnlns , as the drali
Is likely to become clogged by th
Should Ilnve n Hoard of Health.
Every town should have a well or
ganized board of health. An epldcml
will often do ns much material damage
ago to n town's business welfare ns r
serious fire , to say nothing of the othe
features of such a calamity. Well In
formed , energetic health officers can d
much to ward off such evils.
The pnrlth kirk of Drlechton had
been rather unfortunate in Its minis
ters , two of them having gone off In
decline within a twelvemonth of their
appointment , and now , after hearing n
number of candidates for the vacancy ,
the members were looking forward
with keen Interest to the mooting at
which the election of thq new minister
was to take place.
"Weel. Marget , " asked one female
parishioner of another as they fore
gathered on the road one day , "wha
are you gaun to vote for ? "
"I'm Just thlnkln * I'll vote for none
o * them. I'm no * muckle o' a Judge ,
an' It'll bo the safest plan , " was Mar-
get'B sagacious reply.
"Toots , woman , If that's the way o't
vote wl' me. "
"An1 hoe are you gaun to vote ? "
"I'm gaun to vote for the man that
think has the soundest lungs an' ' 11
no' bother us wl' decln' again in a hur
ry. " Scottish American.
Mix boiled hog's lard and milk with
hick gruel. Stir It well together , wltli
resh cheese , yolks of eggs and brains.
Wrap It In a fragrant fig leaf and boll
n the gravy of n chicken or n kid.
Vhen taken out , remove the leaf aiid"
ousc It In a potful of boiling honey ,
'ho name of this comestible Is derived
rom the fig leaf , but the mixture con-
Ists of equal parts of each , but rather
nore eggs , because this gives it con-
istency. This appears to have been n
> opular dish among the Greeks. To
is It seems about ns nice as an oyster
ntcn with brown sugar.
Aristophanes mentions a thlrum of
alt fish and a thlrum of fat. In the
'Frogs" there Is n dismal Joke In the
orm of a reasonable objection made t&
oaplng from a high tower , "I would
ese two fig leaves of brain. " The
vord occurs no less than twelve times
n the fragments of the comic poets.
A story was told the other day of n
little girl who discovered a cobweb and
then , seeing n spider emerge from It.
called out : "See the cob run ! How fast
the cob runs ! " As n matter of fact
she buildcd better than she knew , for
cob , or cop. Is , according to the die-
tlonarles , the name sometimes given to
a spider ; whence the word cobweb , '
which Is , strictly speaking , copweb.
Cop In this sense Is probably on abbre
viation of the Anglo-Saxon nttercoppe.
Records are kept with knotted cords
In Polynesia. During the early part of
the nineteenth century nnd previously
the official taxgathcrcrs on the Island
of Hawaii , in the Sandwich group , did
all their accounts on a rope 2,400 feet
long , which was divided Into lengths ,
each corresponding to a district. Loops ,
knots and feathers tied along the rope
served ns memoranda for the hogs ,
pigs and pieces of snndalwood col
lected from taxpayers.
Chinese chess must claim our admi
ration by the manner in which the con
ception of a military game has been
elaborated so as to conform with the
realities of warfare. The board Is di
vided by an Imaginary river , which the
elephant and the king may not cross.
The pieces are placed on the intersec-
Ions of the lines , not on the spaces.
The king , or general , with his two
'unrds , must keep to a square of nine
mints in the center of his side , with
diagonal lines from corner to corner ,
along which the guards may move , the
king moving only forward or sideways
or backward. The other pieces may
enter this fortress and pass through It
The most characteristic piece of Chi
nese chess , however , Is the cannon ,
which cannot move without Jumping
over a piece , so that not only Is the at
tack most formidable and unexpected ,
but It must be resisted , else it is help
less. The prettiest checkmate Is with
two cannons In line. Hero the second
cannon gives check , and the king must
move , for If another piece be Inserted
the first cannon gives check. Now , wo
may allow that If the elephant Is not
supposed to cross the river , no more
should the cannon , for the first named
is really the most capable of the feat ,
but the genius of the piece lies In Its"
Imitation of cannon In warfare Its
range , the firing over bodies of troops
and its liability to capture. London
A Woman Soldier.
Eleonorc Prochaska , born March 11 ,
1785 , nt Potsdam , was the daughter of
a sergeant. After being brought up In
the military orphanage of that town ,
she became n cook In some cltlzcn'p
house. When the great war against
Napoleon broke out In 1813 she was
led away by enthusiasm to quit her
town secretly ; by selling her poor be
longings she procured male attire and
weapons , and enlisted under the name ,
of August Uenz In the Lutzow corps
On account of her tall , slender figure
her sex was not discovered until she
was mortally wounded. This happened
In the encounter In the Gohrde forest
Reglerungsbezlrk Lunebnrg , Krcls
Dannenberg , Sept. 10 , 1813. The Prus
Elans were there attempting to storm a
hill occupied by the French , she net
Ing ns n drummer. In 1803 a monument
mont In memory of her was erectei
In the churchyard at Danncnberg , nnd
another In 1SS9 In the old churchyarc
of Potsdam. When a boy , I often saw
cheap Illustrations representing her
and my mother told me about hen-
Notes and Queries.
No Help From Her.
"Miss Frlsbie Ellen , love , " said
young Mr. Gallagher timidly , "I hnv
lost my heart. "
"I'm sorry I can't help you , Mr. Gal
laghcr , " replied the maiden not un
kindly. "I haven't found lt"-Detrol
Bret Ilarto was n good deal of n re
cluse , in thnt respect resembling Haw
thorne more than any other man of
Baxter , It If ) mild , kept the manu
script of the "Saint's Everlasting Rest"
lu his hands for thirteen years , revis
ing and condensing.
Cooper Is said to have written "The
Spy" In lens than six months. Most of
his stories were founded on legends
well known In his neighborhood.
Loifgfcllow turned out about one
volume of poems n year for many
years. Neai ly four years were required
* for his translation of "Dante. "
The first volume of poems by Alfred
Tennyson came out when he was twen
ty-four. He was forty-one when "In
Mcmorlam" came from the press.
Thomns Moore often wrote n short
poem almost Impromptu. He consumed
over two years In reading and prepar
ing material for "Lalla Hookh" and
two years more In writing that Inimi
table poem. ,
One Hrlck Short.
Richard M. Hunt , the architect , used
to relate that lu his younger days ,
while supervising the erection of n
brick building , a recent arrival from
Cork applied for n job and was em
ployed as n hodcarrler after being In
structed that he must always carry up
fourteen bricks In his hod. One mornIng -
Ing the supply of bricks ran out , nnd ,
do his best , the new man could find
but thirteen to put In his hod. In an
swer to a loud yell from the street one
of the masons on the sixth story
shrieked down :
"What do you want ? "
"T'row me down wan brick , " said
Pat , pointing to his hod , "to make mo
number goodl" New York Times.
Too CnntloiiN ,
"I have the greatest confidence In
Dr. Slocutn as a physician , " said one
of the doctor's patients. "Ho never
gives I an opinion till he has waited and
weighed a case and looked at It from
every side. "
"Uni-m ! " said the skeptical friend.
"That's ' all rjght If you don't carry It
too ' far. There have been times , you
know ' , when he's been so cautious that
his diagnosis has come near getting
mixed | up with the postmortem. "
A Warning : From ihc Child.
A three-year-old little girl was taught
0 close her evening prayer during the
emporary absence of her father with
'and please watch over my papa. " It
sounded very sweet , but the mother's
amusement may be Imagined when she
added , "And you better keep an eye on
mamma too. " Exchange.
Dlrdi Mude u aievc.
In the mountains of Tennessee a
trnnger came upon a man who was
shoveling coal upon n wooden sieve.
Upon Inquiry how on earth he got such
a curious thing the old man replied :
"Stranger , I don't think you'll b'leevo
molf Ilell y n. "
"Oh , yes , certainly , " said the man ;
1 will believe you. " - -
"Waal , " said the mountaineer , "It
war this way : About five years ago I
Ived down on the side of the mountain
whnr woodpeckers and other kind o'
birds Is powerful thick. That 'nr thing"
pointing to the sieve "war my deere
: o my cabin. It 'ml mock any bird that
lies. I'd Jest sit thar some summer
evenln' nnd jest move It , and every
bird came that war Imitated.
"Ilowsumevcr , one day I left my
cabin to go huntin' and went pream-
bllu' down the mountain. Waal , some
wind come along and made that 'ar
door Imitate a woodpecker. First one
come and then a whole pile o' the
critters. They lit In on'the door , nnd
when I come It war Jest like you see
The man thanked him and moved on.
"I declar * , " said the mountaineer , " 1
don't b'lecve he thought I war tellln'
the truth. " And he resumed shovelIng -
Ing coal. New York Herald.
ThonKhtlc" , Sclllsh.
Thoughtlessness of others IB nothing
more than downright selfishness , which
is the curse of humanity. The man
who on leaving an elevated train
pauses at the head of the stairs to
light his cigar Is selfish. He lucora
modes all who are behind him. The
woman who Insists on passing up or
down the stairs ahead of the eager
crowd , slowly , indifferent to the haste
of others , must be an awful thing at
home. lie who pauses to tie his shoe
regardless of the interruption of traffic
Is u brute in his family. I see all these
things n dozen times a day and wonder
what kind of lives such persons lead In
the family circle. One of the common
evidences of thoughtlessness Is seen in
those who stand In the middle of the
sidewalk tohat while multitudes are
forced to Ufhoct or make an offset In
order to pasj them. The more I see of
men the greater Is my respect for
asses , dogs and mules. New York
A Romnn Dinner.
A Roman dinner at the house of a
wealthy man consisted chiefly of three
courses. All sorts of stimulants to the
appetite were first served up , nnd eggs
were Indispensable to the first course.
Among the various dishes we may In
stance the guinea hen , pheasant , night
ingale and the thrush as birds most in
repute. The Roman gourmands hell
peacocks In great estimation , especial
ly their tongues. Macroblus states
that they were first eaten by Horteu-
slus , the orator , and acquired such re
pute that a single peacock was soli
for CO denarii , the denarius being equal
to about elghtpenco halfpenny of our
money. Chambers' Journal.
Boys have no more business with tar-
net guns nnd air rifles than men with
pistols. Nashville American.
The .Number "Three" lii < 1ic Illhler
When the world was created , we find -A
It and Its HtirroundlngH composed of
Uinw elements air , water and laud
the whole lighted by the sun , moon
nnd stars. Atlnin had three SOUB men
tioned by mime , and so did Noah , the i
patriarch. Daniel was thrown into a ' 4) )
den with three lions for the crime of
praying three times. Shadracji , Me-
fchnch and Abedncgo were rescued from
the tierfurnace. . Job hod three spe
cial friends. There were three patrl- .
nrehs-Abraham , Isaac and Jacob.
Samuel was called three times ; Elijah
prostrated himself three times on the
dead body of the child ; Samson de
ceived Delilah three times before she-
discovered the secret of his great pow
er , nnd the Ten Commandments were-
delivered on the third day.
Jonah was three days and nights in
the whale's belly. "Simon , lovest thou
me ? " was repeated three times. Paul
nakes mention' the three graces-
faith , hope and charity. The famous
allegorical dreams of the baker and ,
butler were to come to pass In/ / three
days. Then we have the holy trinity-
Father , Son and Holy Ghost ; the sacred
otters on the cross were three In num
ber , they being I. II. S. ; so also the fa-
nous Roman motto was composed of
three words viz , In hoc slgno.
Slclftht of Hand Polnonlntr.
A very curious Item In toxlcologlcal
ore I chanced to light upon , wrote
jcorpc Augustus Sala In one of his let-
ers , may bo called the feat of poison-
ng by sleight of hand. You were jeal- .
OUB of a lady , and you wished to kill &
icr. Well , you asked her to lunch , nnd .
you caused a very nice peach to be
Bcrved at dessert. You cut the fruit
with a golden knife , one side of the
blade of which was endued with n
deadly poison. You presented the pol- m
soiled half of the peach to the lady , '
who ate It with much relish nnd then
dropped down dead.
The wholesome half you ntc your
self and laughed In your sleeve nnd '
went on slicing more peaches for the
ladles of whom you were jealous till
you wore found out nnd broken on the
wheel. Aye. there's the rub ! What
lilgh old times we might have , to be
sure , but for that plaguy contingency
of being found out !
AuMrlnn Hull * . . ,
Here ore a few "bulls" that have ' -
been perpetrated from time to time in * j ,
the Austro-Hungarlan parliament : *
"One most Important point of the ag- i
rlcultural question Is the maintenance .
of the breed of horses to which I have &
; he honor to belong. " , \ \
'We are here for the weal and woo \ > /
of our constituents. " ' - ,
"Gentlemen , consider this question
n the light of a dark future. " *
"The eye of the law weighs heavily , .
on our press legislation. " . i > \s
'There , gentlemen , Is the ever chang- ' V I <
Ing point of which the opposition has IL |
made n hobbyhorse. " C
"This taunt Is the same old sea ser
pent which for years and years haa
been groaning In this assembly. "
Incident * In American niatory.
A traveler who has just returned ,
from a visit to Matanzas says that he
visited El Cumbre , a short distance
from the city , and there was reminded
of an Incident In American history
with which he was entirely unfamiliar
and which he Is willing to bet not one
American In a hundred knows anything - (
thing about. He refers to the fact that
a vice president of the United States
took the oath of ofllce there , being au
thorized to do so by special act of con
gress. El Cumbre means "the summit , "
and It was here that William Rufus
King , vice president with Franklin
Pierce , dying of consumption , wa
sworn Into office March 24 , 18o3.
Loafing and Working.
Ever notice at the end of a day when
you have fooled along with your work
and slouched through everything In a
slipshod manner that you are tired as-
if you had worked steadily and done-
your work well ? And how much bet
ter satisfied you feel with yourself
when you have done your work as you
should. Your employer also notice *
these things. Don't belong to the slip
shod class. Do your work well. You.
will feel better and stand higher in tho-
estimation of the man you work for.
Trlcki of the Trade. i
If you find maple twigs and frag
ments of leaves In " "
your "maple" sirup , ,
you may feel pretty sure that it is an. .
Imitation or.has been adulterated. People
ple who make the pure article sent It to-
market clean. The best butter docs not
have hair In It to prove that it wan
made from cows' milk. Strained honey
with blts of comb In it is subject to the
game suspicion. Tomato figs with a fig
leaf on top of the box is another ln
"No. " said the Widow Rakcleigh ,
"I didn't altogether like the minister's
sermon over poor John. "
"Why. I thought it quite sympu-
thetlc , " said her friend.
"Well. I didn't like his pronuncia
tion when ho bald John had gone-'to
that undiscovered country from whose
"burn" no traveler * oturns. ' " Phila
A Mohawk valley Justice of the peace.
Invariably gave judgment for the plain
tiff In civil suits before him without
hearing the defendant , silencing that
unfortunate litigant with , "Veil , vet I
links he sue you for If you don't owe
him ? " Rochester Democrat
Her Mother' * Vlilt.
Mrs. Benlmm You don't seem to bo
very glad that mother Is here.
Bonham-What did you expect me lade
do die of-Joy ? New York Herald.
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