TllE NOJLU'OLK HOTS : 1'IUDAT , APRIL < i , 1902 ,
High School Orators Entertain
a Large Audience.
TEACHERS' MEETING ENJOYED.
Dr. Sanderson of Fremont Addressed
the Association This Morning In
structive Papers Wore Rend and
Well Received.
From WmlnpwUy' * Unlly.
The teachers nncl school pupils of
north Nebraska arc assembling in foroo
iu Norfolk today to nttoud the tonolinrH1
association , the first Houston of which
was hold in the Auditorium this after-
noon. There WIVH n Rood attendance nt
the flrst mooting ivnd the Houston opoiiH
with tin intercut nmulfoBt thnt in very
auspicious.
The weather Is exceedingly fiwprablo
nuil is undoubtedly responsible for the
promise of n largo nttondonoo , during
the session. The Columbus delegation
ixiid high school orohostrn of 20 pieces
ciuno in on n special car ntUohod to the
noon accommodation and other dologn-
tiotiR have boon nrrlving by every train ,
many of thorn wearing gay rlbhoim and
badges appropriate to their ohuwoN or
fichoola. i
Some interesting papers wore dis
ousHod this afternoon , but chief interest
with the pupils and many of the touchers
centers in the declamatory contoet to beheld
hold at the Auditorium tonight , There.
nro a diuon contestants entered and
there arc Hlx gold medals to bo awarded ,
two oaoh In the oratorical , dramatic and
humorous classes. The program will bo
interspersed with music , Hovoral num
bers of which will bo rendered by the
Columbus high school orchestra , and a
very entertaining evening is anticipated
by those who expect to attend. The seat
Rale for the contest has boon very satis *
factory.
From Tlmi-mliiy'd Daily
The North Nebraska tonohors , witl
nearly ! ! 00 enrolled , hold the flrs * moot
ing of their sixteenth annual session it
the Auditorium yesterday iiftornnon and
deep interest in the proceedings wafl
munifcRt.
"Tho Value of Pictures as an aid to
Language Work" was the instructive
flrst paper of the session and wax pro
Boutod by Miss Maude Brittou of Wayne
Miss L. Belle Rico of Stauton told of
"Drawing Its Disciplinary and Praoti
cnl Value. " Mrs. Cora Heels of this
oity gave her opinion as to the "Edncn
tional Value of Music" showing Mm
she thoroughly understood the nubjcc
discusbod. One ot the most interesting
subjects of the afternoon was "Tho
Teaching of Agriculture in the Public
Schools" as presented by President E
Diofoubach of the Plainviow Norma
school. Gerald II. Stouor of the Fro
inont Normal told entertainingly of the
"Chemistry in Dally Life. "
The program was interspersed witl
interesting musical selections , aud ad
jourument until ovouing won taken quite
Into in the afternoon.
The Declamatory Contest.
The North Nebraska High school do
olaumtory contest hold at the , Auditor
inm last ovouing called out ono of the
largest audiences over assembled in the
building. Long before the hour of the
entertainment arrived every , sent on the
lower floor was taken aud all the desirable
able seats in the balcony had boon ap
preprinted. The nudlouco oouirnoiiooi
to assemble early and whoa the hour
of entertainment arrived there was
scarcely an available seat iu the house
even the boxes having boon taken.
The program opened with ft double
number by the Columbus .high sohoo
orchestra , which very pleasingly rendered
dered "Zncotooa March" and "Valso
Impassioned Dream. " The orchestra is
composed of school pupils ranging in
ago from about 8 to 16 years and the in
Btruineutatiou includes violins , , uiaudo
lins , guitars'piano , cello , drums , oto
They nro well trained and qiako gurprls
ingly sweet music for children of thoi
ago.
ago.There were two representatives iu th <
oratorical class : Miss Onn Albee o
Wayne gave "The Prisoner's Plea , " and
Miss Bessie Smith of Schnyler had as
her subject , "Victor Hugo. " Th
merits of the two contestant wore s
nearly equal that it was with ditllcnlty
that the nudiouco made a ohoico. Man ;
were inclined to favor Miss , Albeo , bu ,
when the judges announced that they
bad chosen Miss Smith for first honors
and Miss Albee second it wna very sat
isfactory to the people present.
Before the dramatic class was iutro
dnced Oscar Scavlaud pf .JJadiijon gav
in bis own inimitable styjo a piano solo
"Normn Fantasia , " and. aa la usua
when be plays , was compelled to ro
spend to a hearty encore.
There were five contestants in th
dramatic class and there was no one to
dissent from the decision of the judge
when they gave Miss Delia E. Clark o
South Omaha flrst honors. The subjec
of her selection was "Morcodea" and sh
evidenced splendid dramatic talent in it
rendition. The second medal was
awarded to Misa Jessie Kroidler of Ful
lertou who had chosen as her selection
the "The Honor of the Woods. " Thin
place waa accorded Miss Kathariu
Ryan of Wisner for her rendition o
"The Sioux Chief's Daughter. " Th
, wo other contofitantB won ) Miss Fieri-
ml Dingier of Randolph , who spoke ,
Lost in the Mountains , " and Jesse
Yard of Gonon who noted "Tho Hum
Inulao. "
The Columbtw orchestra followed this
lass with a mmlloy arranged by Prof.
Inrllohs , "Tho Oomn of the South , "
tiat was liberally applauded.
In the humorous clan * Misa Kll/.nlwth
Inlo of Uattlo Crook was given first
loners for her very clover description of
A Trlatat Elocution. " The Debuting
Society" as given by Miss Lida Turner
f Columbus was accorded second
lonorn in this class. Miss ifny Wida-
nan of this city told "A Hear Story"
ory acceptable.
While the Judges worn preparing to
announce their decision the orchestra
gave a descriptive uumbor , "Villago
Jluuksnilth" ns arranged by Prof. Oar-
lobs and the success with which it was
ondorod spoke highly for * the director
mil ; his pupils. The thunder storm
vaq realistic and when the blacksmith
ippoared and boat time on an anvil ,
unod to suit , while an assistant in the
mrsou of.T , ( , W. Edwards wont through
ho notion of shooing n Shetland pony on
ho stage , the enthusiasm of the nndl-
once was pronounced. This wna fol-
owed with several unannounced solec-
ions.
AH the decision of the judges was ren
dered their verdict was greeted with ap-
) laiiflo and in some instances , as iu that
of giving Mifls Halo of Buttle Crook flrst
n the humorous class , with cheers.
The delegation from the South Omaha
ligu school also made n demonstration
wliuu the success of their representative
waa announced. The nlnss colors wore
liaplayod from ono of the boxes and
greeted with the school yell. Battle
Crook was well represented at the con-
: est as was ovldouoo by the applause
given Miss Hulo , who was also a partic
ular favorite with the entire audience.
The declamatory association elected
the following oillcors for the ensuing
year : President , H. E. Funk of Fullerton -
ton ; secretary , 13. B. Shormau of Schuy-
lor ; vice president , W. II. Kern of Col
umbus.
Morning Session.
This morning's session opened at the
Auditorium nt i ) o'clock with n lecture
by Rev. F. II. Sanderson , D. D. , of Fre
mont. The teachers present wore
liighly pleased with Dr. Sanderson's ad
dress and ho received the congratula
tions of many for Ins clover handling of
the subject , "Men Wanted. " The
speaker is a pleasing platform orator
and his lecture indicated deep thought
and painstaking study. It is to bo re
gretted that more of the general public
was not out to hoar his address.
Following Dr. Sanderson's address
there was a symposium on practical
reading , the various grades being takou
up by Miss Sheehau of Columbus , Miss
Mnrtindulo of Pierce aud Miss Woudt
of Newcastle. Miss Russell of Schuylor
was not present , but her paper was road
by E A. Sherman of the same place.
All were given respectful attention nud
much instruction was gathered.
Free Cabinet Photograph.
With every pair of shoos bought of us
wo will giyo a ticket , entitling the
holder to ouo cabinet photograph at
Mnoy's studio.
THE JOHNSON Duv GOODS Co.
WARNERVILLE.
The Gibba boys have sowed 75 acres of
wheat.
0. J. Lodge is building an addition to
his house.
James Powell loft here Monday for
Chicago to visit his children.
Mrs. M. A. Oapllu aud daughter ,
Blauoho , went to Blair Tuesday to visit
friends.
Fred Terry went to Tildon Saturday
to spend Sunday with his parents.
1. N. Taylor of Norfolk has purchased
of C. B. Burrows the aootiou of land ad
joining the town site on the oast.
W. E. Gillaspy , who lost the sight of
ouo eye recently by nocideutly getting
some horse liniment in it , has put in n
chum for $500 against the Modern
Brotherhood of America , in which
fnitomai insurance organization ho
carried a policy.
Buy your harness of Paul Nordwig ,
who sells the cheapest and best. Duf-
fey's old stand.
Notice is hereby given that after this
date the windows and doors , of the
saloons within the corporate limits ol
the city of Norfolk must not bo ob
structed by screens , blinds , point or
other articles during the day or night
time , and that gambling of every nature
and kind within this city must absolu
tely cease. And all saloons , public or
private houses , including hotels must
not allow gambling or any gaming fix
tures or devices within their premises
ns the same are in violation of the
statutes of this state and from this time
forward the laws will bo strictly anc
vigorously enforced.
Date this 3rd day of April , 1003.
H. M. RotiBivrs.
A Wretched Millionaire.
The story is told of the owner oi
several railroads who was unable to buy
relief from the nerve-twisting agony ol
neuralgia. It ia an unlikely talo. The
sick man must have known thnt Perry
Davis * Painkiller would help him at
once ns it has helped so many thonsaads
of sufferers iu the past sixty years.
There is but ono Painkiller , Perry
Davis' .
WEDNESDAY WRINKLES.
Alfred Anderson of Columbus in the
guoflt of Gene Huso for n few dayu.
Sponoer Butterflold went to Crolghtou
yesterday to spend the bulauoo of his va
cation.
E. Diofoubooh , president of the Plain-
view Normal college , ia in the city to
attend the touchers association mooting.
The Ladies society of the Congrega
tional church will meet tomorrow nf tor-
noon nt 2 : ! ! ( ) with Miss Elvira Durlnnd.
The dromon nro nlrendy beginning to
plnn for the state tournament which late
to bo hold iu Grand Inland during next
August.
Marcus Reynolds' nine boat Pete Staf
ford's nine 7 to 1 in n five-Inning game
of base ball played in The Heights yes
terday afternoon.
Mr. Fred Melahor who hna been visit
ing his daughters , Mrs. II. G. Bruoggo-
man and Miss Emma Melshor returned
.0 . his home lu Pilgor today.
According to the Sioux City Tribune
Mayor-Elect E. W. Culdwoll of that
city is likely to appoint Ex-Sheriff W.O.
davenport as ohiof of police.
Mrs. 0. A. Alexander has boon called
o Chicago by the serious illness of her
sister. She waa accompanied to that
city by her daughter , Gladys.
George II. Spear was in town yester
day to vote and BOO Sanford iDodgo in
the Muikotoora. In the iutrim ho put
forth seine effort toward pushing
the HofTuianotto cigar , the particular
brand he is at present urging.
Mrs. M. J. Stonnor of Pierce died at
Winsido Monday night ns the result of
a fall on n defective sidewalk iu that
town on Tuesday uight , March 23. She
was visiting at the homo of Mrs. James
Elliot nt the time of the accident , aud it
was there that she died.
S. J. Dixon has routed the east room
formerly occupied by the Fair store and
is preparing to open up in the saloon
business therein. Ho expects to bo
ready for bnsinebs by the flrst of May.
S. Bioudorff of Omaha who recently
bought out the grocery business of
James Ooylo on West Norfolk avenue ,
is building up a good trade and will un
doubtedly become ouo of Norfolk's per
manent business men.
The Ladles guild of Trinity church
served a nice dinner to a largo number
of people this noon in the store room
east of the postoillco. They will serve
supper this evening and it is expected
that many will avail themselves of the
opportunity to pntrouixo them. Their
sale of useful nud fancy articles has
been quite satisfactory.
The commissioners of Kuox county
have installed the furniture and fixtures
in the now court .house at Center aud
are preparing for the removal of the
couuty business to the now county seat
location , in accordance with the decis
ion of the supreme court iu that case.
The couiiuK term of the Knox couuty
district is to bo held at Center , begin
ning on the 2'Jth. '
The spring term of the Madison
county district court convened at Madi
son yesterday with Judge J. F. Boyd of
Neligh on the bench. The term was
very short and adjournment was taken
yesterday afternoon. There was uo jury
case called , something unprecedented
iu the hiHtory of the county. The few
cases hoard were unimportant. The
next term of court is sot for Juno 8.
Word has been received by Norfolk
friends of the family that the marriage
of Misa Hoael Hugh Hake , now of Den
ver , to Mr. Elmer Austin of that city
has boon announced to take place in
September. Mr. Austin is n wealthy
ranchman of Colorado. Miss Hake
formerly made this city her homo with
her parents , Mr. and Mrs. H. H. Hako.
Mr. Hake is now proprietor of the St.
James hotel at Denver.
Columbus Journal : S. L. Barrett
superintendent of the public instruction
of Platte county , who has been dispos
ing of forged school warrants , fled the
couuty. His plan of operation was , as
agent for eastern firms , to sell to schoo
districts in the county , school books and
school furniture aud toke payment iu an
order on the district , signed by the di
rector aud moderator. He possessed
himself of blank orders aud by forging
the names of the above mentioned oilici
als of the district thnt ho chose to make
instrumental in helping him to a raise
of funds , ho had negotiable paper , uu
less the forgeries were detected. Some
were sold to Anderson & Roou , some to
I. Glnok , John "Wiggins , John Wormnth
and others. The general supposition
was thnt the school book and furniture
firms hold the larger portion of the
forged ; paper.
Sanford Dodge , seems to improve with
each season , both as an actor and as a
manager , and ho appeared lost night in
the "Three Musketeers" at the Norfolk
Auditorium with the best company
with which ho hna ever visited Norf oil
and with a leading part to which ho
was perfectly ndapted in every way
The cast was without n flaw , each tak
ing their individual parts with mucl
credit to themselves and their manager
The special scenery and costuming were
very fine and it is exceedingly regrottec
by those who attended thnt there was
not n larger audience out to see the pro
ductiou , as they would have been fully
repaid for the time and money expended
Mr. Dodge is a very genial gentleman
and those who have mot him will hope
that his career on the stage may moot
with Increasing success each passing
ftiaon. Mr , Dodge assumed the pnrt of
Dumas' D'Artngnau last night and ho
ccotvod excellent support from other
nombors of hla company , Many were
of the opinion that "Tho Thrco Musket-
era" was the boat production of its
dud thnt has visited Norfolk this sen-
ou.
Horse blankets at cost at Paul Nord-
wig's , Duffoy'a old stand.
Ohoico seed corn for aalo. Early Yol-
ow Rose $1 per bushol.
0. E. MOKUAN ,
Pilgor , Nob.
Enlarged Portrait Free.
To introduce n now style of ponait ,
wo have concluded to give with each
order for ono dczou of our best Muntollo
cabinet * * , ouo of these flno partralta.
These portraits are not crayons , and not
at all like n crayon but entirely differ-
out , nud must bo soon to bo npproolntod.
Snmplosumy bo soon at studio. This
offer good fur UO days.
Yours for photos.
I. M. MACY.
California.
Southern California its lovely sea
side resorts , orange groves , beautiful
gardens aud quaint old mission towns
nro visited every year by thousands of
tourists who travel over the Union Pa
cific because it is the best [ nud quickest
route aud the only line ruuniug through
trnins to .California from Omaha. In
addition to the Pullman Palace Sloop3rs
the Union Pacific runs Pullman ordi
nary sleepers every day , leaving Chicago
at 11 : ! ! 0 p. m. and Omaha nt 4 :23 : p. m.
These ordinary cars nro personally con
ducted every Tuesday nnd Thursday
from Chicago nud every Wednesday and
Friday from Ouinha. A Pullman ordi
nary sleeper also loaves Omaha every
Tuesday at 11 : ! iO p. n ? . for Los Angoles.
Full information cheerfully furnished
upon application.J. .
J. B. ELsnrpnit , agent.
F. E. & M. V. R. R. Low Colonist
Rates
to Pacific const , and intermediate points
in California , Oregon , Washington ,
Idaho , Montana , etc. Commencing
March 1 and continuing every day un
til April 80 , 1002 , very low , second clasp ,
colonist , ono way tickets will b3 sold to
points in above nninod territory. For
further particulars plenso call on the
undersigned. H. 0. MATKAU ,
Agent.
Care In Mnktnfc Axes.
An nx Is subject to rigid tests before
It Is pronounced perfect. The steel must
be of the required temper , the weight
of all axes of the same size must be
uniform , nil must be ground alike nnd
In various other ways conform to an es
tablished standard. The Inspector who
tests the quality of the steel does so by
hammering the blade and striking the
edge to ascertain whether It bo too
brittle or not An ax that breaks dur
ing the test Is thrown aside to be made
over. Before the material of an ax Is In
the proper shape It has been heated five
times , Including the tempering process ,
and the ax when completed has passed
through the hands of about 40 work
men , each of whom has done something
toward perfecting It. After passing In
spection the axes go to the grinding de
partment and from that to the polish
ers , who finish them upon emery
wheels.
Terrlflo Thunder.
The largest rainfall on earth has been
recorded at Chcra Punjl , on the bay of
Bengal , but the most violent thunder
storms ever observed are probably
those of French Guiana. At Capo Or-
nngo , some forty mllea south of Cay
enne , a French naval ofllcer saw the
rllla of the coast hills turned Into - waterfalls
*
terfalls by a cloudburstllke storm ,
while the crashing thunder peals were
incessant nnd often almost deafening ,
so much BO , ludeed , thnt some of the
sailors began to mutter long forgotten
prayers , probably thinking the day of
judgment near at hand.
Anticipation.
"Doesn't it make you the least bit en
vious to see what elegant furniture
Mrs.'Eyefly la putting Into her bouse
next door ? "
"Not a bit My husband says It will
be sold by the sheriff within six months
-and I'll be there to buy. " Chicago
Tribune.
Wo are showing all the new and
pretty syles in lace and chiffon veilings
over ICO styles. Prices from Ifio yard up
toll. Pattern veils from 60o to rea
lace nt $4.60.
Silk nnd lisle gloves Wo have the
prettiest stock of silk gloves over brough
to Omaha colors white , black , gray
and made plain or combination backs
All double tipped fiugors , guaranteed to
wear. Prices 50o , 75o nnd $1.
Don't fprgetr-We have the pretties
line of children's spring cloaks in Omaha
size from the first long cloak up to
ten years.
MRS. J. BKNSOX.
South Sixteenth street ,
Omaha , Nob.
THE NEWS keeps its job departmen
up-to-date with the latest faces of type
and does its work in approved style ,
Land Marks
Made famous by the early traders , explorers
plorors , pioneers , Mormons , emigrants
pony express riders , overland stage
coaches , Indian encounters , etc. , are
seen from the car windows of the Union
Pacific trains. Bo sure your tioko
reads via this route.
J. B. ELSEFFER ,
Agent.
THURSDAY TIDINGS.
Mrs. E. O. Mount returns tonight
rom n trip to Omaha.
The May flowers hnvo not been given
n ghost of n show thus far this mouth.
Misa Corn Bryant , telephone operator
nt Wayne , is the guest of the Norfolk
central force.
ThoLadioa guild of Trinity church
will moot with Mrs. II. 0. Matrau tomorrow -
morrow afternoon. Aa thia ia the annual
election of ofllcora all members uro
urged to bo present.
The dinner nnd supper nnd sale of
useful nnd fnuoy nrticlos by the Indies
of Trinity church in the atoro room enst
of the postoiflco yesterday , was very
successful in nil particulars and they re
ceived n very liberal patronage. The
guild netted $53 from the day's effort.
The Senior class of the Norfolk High
school gnvo n reception to the visiting
contestants nttho homo of W. G. Oxnnm
yesterday afternoon from ! J to 0 , and the
; tmo waa very pleasantly passed by
those attending.
Mrs. II. A. Kiunoy of Woodbine ,
[ owa , is the guest of her sister , Mrs. O.
El. Brake of the Norfolk Business col-
ego. Mrs. Kinney's husband has been
principal of the schools at Woodbine for
; ho past ton or twelve years.
A marriage took place in the Catho
lic church at Fremont ycaterday morn-
ug that should have all the requisites
for domestic felicity , both parties to the
contract being deaf and dumb. The
jrido wna Mies Carrie Dodendorf of
Fremont nnd the groom John M. Toner
of Omaha.
The Bartlett family which went to
Virginin'from Norfolk about two years
ago , at the time Dr. Daniels and
family moved to that state , arrived in
Omaha last week on their way to Den
ver , where their son has secured n no-
sition. Miss Ruth Daniels remains in
Washington , visiting with the family
qf Congressman Robiusou.
Columbus Telegram : Ed Foxhas quit
railroading and gone to farming. For
fourteen years he has been firing on the
Union Pacific branch lines running out
from Columbus , but was temporarily
thrown out oi employment when Jhe
Sioux City train was taken off. His
friends say he is ns good n farmer ns ho
was a fireman , and for that reason pre
dict success in his new field of labor.
Chief of Police Kane has received
orders from Mayor Koenigstein to close
up all the gambling houses iu Norfolk
nnd ho expects to notify them nt once
to quit business , leave town or prepare
for the consequences. The chief ,
backed by the mayor , proposes that
there shall be a different cede of
moral conduct in Norfolk from this time
on or some will have troub'e. All the
moral people of Norfolk will undoubt
edly sustain the mayor nud the police
ofilcers in their efforts to correct exist
ing evils.
The regular meeting of the Commer
cial club will be held at the city hall to
morrow night and it is of importance
that there should be a good atteudanco
of progressive men , as , if the city is to bo
benefited by the work undertaken by
the organixation , there must be unity
of effort and active interest. There
have been several movements under
taken that will result in benefit to the
city but one or two men should not be
expected to put forth all the effort while
others pocket the greater share of
the profits occasioned.
Genoa Times : G. F. Garton found a
bronze medal at the base of a hill on his
farm four miles north of Genoa Monday.
The medal weighs 1 % ounces , and mens-
urea two inches across the face.
Stamped on oue aide is a fire place , on
the right of which ia seated a woman by
the aide of an old fashioned spinning
wheel. Opppsite the mother is a home-
mndo cradle. At the bottom of the
medal are the letters U. S. A. On the
other side of the medal is stamped the
words "Washington's Second Adminis
tration. " Underneath the worda are
letters , "M D 0 O X O V I. " The
medal was evidently cast in 1706. D.
A. Willard is of the opinion that the
bronze curio was presented to some
Indian for a friendly act performed in
the early days of the republic.
At the meeting of the Wednesday
club with Mrs. Huso yesterday nfter-
noon the club year was closed with the
election of offcers for the ensuing year ,
and owing to the fact that the former
ofllcersfelt that they had performed
their share of service in office and de
clined to consider re-election , there was
nn entire chnngo of officers. Mrs. W.
H. Johnson was chosen for president ,
Mrs. Frank Salter for vice president
and Mrs. A. Bear secretary-treasurer.
The retiring president , Mrs. N. A.
Rainbolt , and vice president , Mra. F. E.
Hardy , have efficiently served the club
in those offices for the post ten years
and to them n great portion of the credit
is due for the success which has crowned
the club's efforts in whatever was un
dertaken. Mra. P. H. Salter , equally
efficient nud deserving of credit , hns
served ns secretary-treasurer for six
years. In recognition of her worth as
vice president the club presented Mrs.
Hardy with n hnudsomo piece of cut
glass. The work planned for next year
promises to bo very interesting aud in-
strnctivo. It will consist of descriptive
nud historical studios of the principal
cities of the United States and the new
possessions , and it is planned to follow
FIGHTERS !
Wor'o not much on the
scrap , but at the same
time , when it comes to
selling lumber , we'll take
our chaucoa against all
comers Wo know that
there's not another stock
of lumber in this part of
the country superior to
ours , and mighty few na
good. Wo know , too , that
nobody can beat our
prices. That's why wo
nro today the leading
dealers in this section ,
nud feel so confident of
ourselves. See ns before
you buy.
ICWOllBERW !
NORFOLK , NEB.
it with similar work regnrding the
cities of the world.
THE POINT OF THE JOKE.
It Wan Dlfllcnlt For the
bat lie Finally Saw It.
A party of Englishmen were in Chicago
cage sightseeing some time ago. They
were entertained nt dinner by some
Chicago Englishmen who hnve lived in
America long enough to hnve n keen
appreciation of the American Iden of n
Joke. During the evening nil the mem
bers of the party told stories or sung
songs nnd entertained according to
their several abilities.
One of the English visitors could see
nothing funny in the stories told by the
X.
Chicago Englishmen. Every time one
of them would tell n good American
story nt which most of the party would
laugh uproariously this particular Eng
lishman would adjust bis monocle to
his eye nnd , looking wondcrlngly
around the table , would remark , "But ,
I say , I don't see anything in that to
laugh nt , y' knnw. "
One of the Chicago men finally re
cited nn original poem. The poem told
of an Englishman who had conic to
America nnd nfter being in this coun
try only n short time had died and gena
to nuothor nnd much warmer country.
Ten years passed , nnd one-day nn Imp
passing that way heard the English
man laughing uproariously.
"Why , whnt nre you laughing at ? " in
quired the Imp.
"Oh , oh , eli , such n funny story ns I
heard In America ! Oh , It was so fun
uy ! " laughed the victim , nnd ho held hla
bands to his side and almost doubled
up with merriment
"A story you heard ! Why , you'vo
heard uo story , " said the imp. "You'vo
been dead ten years. "
"Yes I I " cried the
, yes , know , know ,
man. "But I've Just seen the Joke. " ,
This poem set the table in n roar.
Amid nil the laughing and shouting
the obtuse visitor adjusted bis monocle
nnd drawled out , "But , I say , I don't
see anything funny in thnt , y' knaw. "
"No , " replied the man who had rend
the poem as quick aa n flash. "Of
course you don't. You haven't been
dead ten years. " And oven the obtuse
Englishman saw the < polnt Chicago
Tribune.
ShnrkN nil Game FUli.
As game fishes sharks do not , I
"
think , stand high. The uiont common
of them , the dusky shark , when hook
ed , circles round on the surface nnd
usually bites off the lines nnd escnpes.
If so hooked thnt the line cannot bo
cut , the struggle Is furious but short ,
the shark giving up In much less time
than n game fish of half his size , such
ns the channel bass , salt water trout
or snapper would do. Forest nnd
Stream.
Tire Expreailon * of Peel.
Was there ever n more mordant nnd
( sardonic stroke of description than
that O'ConnclI gnvo of Peel's blood-
Icssness ? "Ills smile was like the sil
ver plate on n coflln. "
Less scathing , but less witty nlso ,
wns his description of n lady of n sim
ilar ropellunt temperament , "She had
nil the characteristics of n poker , ex >
cept Us occasional warmth. "
Happiness Is sometimes like a pair of
spectacles. While one looks for It It
sits astride one's very nose. New York
Times.
Soft
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Harness
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