TITK NORFOLK NK\VS : FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 22.1001.
NORFOLK VIOTORIOLfs.
Foot Ball Tonm Dents Randolph by
n Score of 30 to 0.
The Norfolk HlKh school foot bull
loam won a decisive victory over Han-
dolph on the homo grounds Saturday
nftoruoon , the visitors not being P r-
mittod to score a point , while the homo
team scored ! W. The Norfolk tontu hud
tlio advantage In weight averaging
about 10 pounds honvior than tlio Ilan
dolph toys nnd in addition to the weight
they hud boon practicing energetically
nnd played with n skill nnd solonoo no
qalrod Hlnoo tholr defeat by Ooluinbua.
There wftR n good crowd In nttondixnco
nud considerable enthusiasm was Hhown.
These in'nttondnnco Hny It wns n pretty
game nnd tlio boys did flnuly. It was
replete with tiloan , neat plays and the
ovldonco of good work by the Norfolk
ooaohva abundant.
The two lialvoH were of 25 minutes
oaoh nnd the Norfolk team plnyod nil
the tlnio. At tlio end of the IlrHt half
Norfolk WIIH nhoad 15 to 0 and during
the game there were HOVOII touch-downs
by Norfolk and ono goal won by n kick.
.After Norfolk IlrHt Hcourod the ball there
was little doubt about the outooino of
.tho gnmo the Randolph boyH ollVring
but little oppnHition.
Norfolk kicked on" the first tlmo but
Randolph couldn't make the distance
nnd the ball wan ( niton from thorn while
Titus of the Norfolk team wont over fcr
a touch down. Only ono other tiniodur ,
Ing the Hocoiid half , did Randolph have
the ball and this tlmo it again loHt bo
cnuso of a fniluro to make the roiiuired
hondwny. There were no fumbles in
the gauio and all wns straight , honrst
playing. Norfolk won by hard work
backed by superior weight nndj soionco
Captain .lolin Wollls miulo four of
the touch-downs , Titus 'J nnd Tulbort
ono. llov. I'lniihlin Baker wiifi rofoteo.
There is Homo prospect of n good gnmo
for Thanksgiving nnd if the pcoplo of
Norfolk show the proper enthusiasm
nnd take enough tiokots to cover the ox-
poiiKO the boys will direct their energies
toward securing an interesting gnmo.
Thanksgiving Is n day when there is little -
tlo of public moment going on outside
of church services and the people will no
doubt bo glad of the opportunities thus
offered to rellovo Us usual monotony.
Tlio boys arc showing that they are ca
pable of creating good sport nnd they
should be given nmplo oncourngomout
to complete their plans for n Thanksgiv
ing gnmo.
Married.
The Skngit County Courier of Scdro-
Woolloy , Wnshiugton , in its issue of
November 7 , contains the following no-
count of n wedding in which n number
of Norfolk people will bo Interested :
"A quiet wedding occurred yesterday
in Sonttlo , at which tlmo Mr. I. II. Son-
bury , of this city , nnd Miss Margaret
Morrow , of Norfolk , Nebraska , were
united in marrlngo. Although but com
paratively n newcomer to Sodro-Woolloy
Mr. Seabury has itmdo many friends
here , and by close application to the
profession of law has laid the founda
tion for n good practice. His bride is
the dunghter of a well known and prom-
i nont citi/.oii of Norfolk , Nebraska , nnd
is a lady of charming presence and rnro
accomplishments. Mr. and Mrs. Sea-
bury will reach Sedro-Woolloy the last
of the week nnd will take rooms until
the now residence which is being built
by Shrewsbury & MoLixtn , on Talcot
street , shall have been completed.
"Tho Courier "xtonds , in common
with ninny friends , its best wishes for
future success and happiness , "
Why Karl Didn't Sing.
To the patrons of the Auditorium :
In the way of explanation regarding the
singing feature during the performance
of "The Eleventh Hour" last evening I
wish to say the reason Mr. Ohns. ( Karl )
A. Gardner failed to fnvor the audience
wns that on such short notice the or
chestra was unable to play the accom
paniments , nud , being n purely city at
traction , the company does not carry
their own nccouipnulest nud he positively
refuses to sing without music. I can say ,
however , that the plnnlst , Mrs. Ernest ,
hns ngroed , for the excellent vaudeville
part of "Herrmann the Great" on Fri
day next , to rehearse their music in the
afternoon , thus guaranteeing n strictly
first class entertainment.
Thanking you on behalf of the man
agement of the "Eleventh Hour" and
myself , for the liberal patronage of last
evening , also trusting n continuance of
enmo Fridny evening I bog to remain
Yours for Amusement ,
CEO. II. Sl'EAK.
Knit Underwear.
As to quality and prices wo have the
best stock of underwear ever shown In
Omaha. Fleece lined union suits 50c ,
75o , $1. and $1.25 , part wool $1. up , all
$3 up. Fleece lined vests and pants , 25o
np , part wool , 75o up , nil wool , $1.23 up.
Silk and wool or all silk in vests , pants
or union suits.
WohavothoJeuness Miller sterling
union suits wool , $3 up eilk , $0.25 up.
We are eolo agents for the celebrated
Dr. Jaeger underwear for ladles nud
children.
See the fleece lined part wool union
suits we are selling , $1.25 and $1.50.
Ladies' black wool tights , 75o up
Children's underwear of all kinds.
A very desirable quality children's
black tights and drawers , -I5o and up.
Children's sleeping suits , 50o up. Out
lug flannel growiis for ladies nud child
ron n big variety of styles nnd prices.
Miw. , T. HBNSON ,
South Kith street ,
Omaha , Nobr.
Sherman Gravel.
Concerning which HO much has been
said , Is n disintegrated mica grnnlto. It
has boon chemically prepared by the
great llros of nature In prehistoric days ,
HO AO to gradually weld together with
nil the taxability of asphalt nnd the
durability of granlto. This gravel Is
quarried at Sherman , Wyo. , on the
Union Pacific , and nsod on the road for
ballast. Travelers ever the Union
Paolllo therefore , escape the dust nnd
dirt which makes n trip ever the lines
of Its loss fortunate rlvnls so annoying.
No dust , no dirt , no jarring , smooth
mid easy riding.
For full information call on or address
,1. 1) . Klsotror , agent.
MR. MERCHANT AND THE CABBY
Former was Gold Bricked , but Ho
Wouldn't Admit It.
A. II. Merchant , nsslstnnt general
freight agent for the Fremont , Elkhorn
and Missouri Valley Railway company ,
Superintendent Sanborn , of the Sioux
City division of the Northwestern , nnd
11. O. Ohonoy , general agent in Omaha
for the Northwestern and Klkorn , nnd n
few friends , were sitting atlunoh in the
Gnrrotson yesterday when Mr. Sonborn
told n story on Mr. Merchant. The iin-
ocdoto quite well lllustrntcs the charac
ter of Mr Merchant.
"You know it has boon said that
Nero , who fiddled while Rome burned ,
would have appeared in history us nn
excited individual it' ho had been com
pared with Mr. Merchant , " Mr. San-
born said. "Merchant seems to bo too
oold to become worked up. Well , re
cently ho was in Boston , a city which
was strange to him. Ho know nothing
nt all ab ut the streets. Ho was in a
certain pluco and desired to go to n cer
tain dopot. llo telephoned for a cab
and , diri'cting that his valise bo placed
upon the seat , ho ordr rod the driver to
proceed to the dopot. Well , It hap
pened that the depot was directly across
the street. The driver turned his horse
around , jumped down from his box
opened the door nnd in true Yankee
way said : 'Waal , I guess yo didn't
know it'd bo so cluss , did yo ? '
' MiTohant had boon gold bricked cor
tain. There wns no use denying It
But , true to his record for calmness , ho
ordered the driver to follow along will
his grip , saying , 'I never walk. ' In
amazement , the driver trotted along
lugging the vnllao. " Sioux City Jour
nnl.
Card of Thanks.
Wo desire to return our sincere thank
to these who nobly helped us in our bo
ronvomont. OHVILLK SATEUMCI : .
ANN SATKUI.KK.
INKSATKHLKE
The llriuiKfii > .ifuiv . .nut ,
The Terrible took a prominent par
In the bombardment of Oilo.ssa. On
second lieutenant , Mr. S. , was nut i
temperate man. Hofoiv the bombard
inent began he sought for courage In a
square faced bottle , and when tin.
drum boat to qunriors ho was In his
cabin In a drunken sleep , from whlcl
ho could not be awakoned. As 1 was
midshipman ol' his quarters. 1 Inul to
tight his guns. In the evening , whei
lie came to hlnibolf , he was put mule
arrest , and we midshipmen speculates
whether he would ue shot or hung a
the yardarm. Hither would have boon
n thrilling episode , but I am not sure
that his fate wns not oven more tragic.
As soon as the anchor was dropped
In the Golden Horn , elY Stambonl , the
captain ordered , "Man the second gig. "
\Vo all wondered. Then be said , "Tell
Mr. S. 1 want him. "
1'oor S. came up at once , greatly as
tonished at the summons.
"Tho second gig Is manned , Mr. S. , "
said the skipper sternly and turued
away.
S. took the hint , stepped at once Into
the boat and was landed at the nearest
Bhore. From that day no soul over
heard what became of him. Whether
ho committed suicide , whether he got
other employment ( not a dllllcult mat
ter In these busy times ) , whether , un
der another name , be won for himself
the respect of his fellow men has nev
er been known. Contemporary Re
view.
John Hull mill the Lion.
What could be more absurd than the
conventional typos of the nations
these types which we see and accept
almost every day ? England Is pecul
iarly unfortunate. To express our na
tional characteristics we have a choice
of two figures , cither a burly farmer era
a Hon. The British lion gets some lit
tle support from heraldry , and the na
tional vanity is tlattercd by the analogy -
ogy ot our powers to those of the king
of beasts. But otherwise how little ap
propriateness there Is In representing
us by nn animal which most English
men have only seen In the degrading
captivity of a menagerie , which has
never within historical times Inhabited
their Islands and about which they
know almost nothing.
Considering also the chronically de
pressed state of British agriculture , It
seems an Ironical xhlng that the Brit
Ish nation should bo typified by a farm
er. If ho were n manufacturer or a
merchant or a seaman , there would bo
some appropriateness , but the stout
eighteenth century John Bull with
whom we arc so familiar from allusion
nnd picture Is a being quite unknown
to us In the flesh. Ho Is Just a good ex
ample of the time honored , Inaccurate ,
conventional type. All vigor and sug-
gestlvenoss have long departed from
the figure. But we arc too Indolent to
replace him. Lo.ndpq Globe.
COMMISSIONERS PROCEEDINGS
County Board Pays Off Judges nnd
Clerks of Election.
Madison , Nobr. , Nov. IS , 11)01 ) At 1
) . in. board of county ooininisslonorH
not pursuant to adjournment. Present
John J. Hughes , Ohrint Schmltt and II.
W. Winter.
Minutes of last meeting were road nud
ipproved.
On motion the following bills were
allowed :
Western Wheeled Scraper Co. , share
for grader , $ < l 25.
Winter & Shultx , machine oil , etc. .
$5 20.
Chris. Sohavland , work on judgment
imli x , $ r,0.
Nebraska Telephone Co. , toll , $11.15.
Phil Bauoh , making tax lint , $ ( ill ) 12.
State Journal Co , tnx receipts etc. .
$87.25
O. W. Orum , salary , $100. " " "
Fremont Tribune , blank books , etc. ,
$5H.71) ) .
Ij W. Lyon nnd Tom Mayhow , work
with elevating grader , $281 80.
Gust Kane , salary , $ . ' 15.
J JoiiHon , mason work , $ ! ) . ! W.
O. A. Youngqnist , bridge work , $18.
Thos. Ostonmrd ife Co. . lumber.
$27055.
J. B. Hume , lumber and coal , $ MO 50.
12dwards & Bradford Lumber Co. ,
lumber , $7071.
Howard Miller Lumber Co. , lumber
for poor farm and bridges , $1,001 2(1. (
On motion board adjourned to 7 : ! )0 ) p.
in.
in.Hoard nif > t pursuant to adjournment.
On motion the following bills were
allowed :
Clir. Sohavland , foes , postairo. etc. ,
$0(1.85. (
L. B. Baker , lumber , $51 81 .
K HolVnmn , land for road , $15.
J .1. Adams , carpenter work , $125.
Guy Duel tfc Co. , lumber , $118 45.
Fred Houston , road work , $27 25 , ap
plied on personal tax , $18. l.'i.
B.in Thompson , bridge work , $5.
S. JoL-es ifc Son , ice , $5 ! (0. (
Peter Bovo , bridge work , $7.50.
Peter Nelson , bridge work , $2 50 , np-
plied on tax , § 1 JI5.
M. li. Thomson , hardware , $2 U5.
V. B Nothwy , bridge work § 2.25.
Wm. VirrRut/ , bridge work , § 5 20
Win. Goblor , bridge work , 11 50.
hums Rowland , bridge work , $ > )1 25 ,
applied on tax , $11 07.
Carl Tes-s , bridge work , $5.80.
Gust Nitblnoksiniihing , $10 15.
Carl Xjiiolow , carpenter work nt poor
fnrm , $258.815 , less personal tax of
Loonnrd , $ ! l.
On motion board ndjouruod to 8
o'clock n. in November lit.
Board mot pursuant to ndjournmout.
On motion the following bills were
allowed :
P. II. Suitor , medical attendance on
Mis Carl Krueger , f.10 , applied on personal -
sonal tax , $ ( ) .ir > .
J. F. Hopporly , bridge work , $10 , ap
plied on personal tnx.
lolm Krantlivorv him. S21.
Win. Button , bridge work , $11.50.
W. M. Condon , land for road , $ ! J3.
Paul Wagner , bridge work , $5.20.
Win. Brummond , bridge work , $20.50.
Emil Hockman , bridge work , $11 50.
W. F. F. Winter , bridge work , $ : U.
13. N. Smnrt , foes in case of Albert
Dean , insane , $11.
F. M. Mnrtiu , nssistlug county sur
veyor. $1.12.
J. B. Douovnu , printing , $8 25.
Norfolk Au/.iger , printing , $9.
W. II. Lowe , surveying rend section
7 and 18-22-Uv : , $12 50.
W. II. Lowe , surveying road section
! 12 22-lwand section , ! ) and 10-2 t-2w ,
$50 , applied on personal tax , $21 19.
John W. Warrick , lumber , $ H > r > .40.
J. II. Sccor & Co. , merchandise for
Mrs Cnroy , $22 57.
W. B. Reynolds , printing , § - IU.22.
W. N. Huso , printing ballots etc. ,
$180.50
W. N. Huso publishing treasurer's
statement , $90 , delinquent tnx list ,
$255 , eomn hsioner's proceedings etc. ,
$ ( iO ( SO , totnl. , ' i C,0.
W. H. Widaninu , assisting comity
surveyor , $7 50.
BQW. J. Freeman , nssibi.ng county sur-
voyi r , $7 50 , applied on personal tnx ,
$ IC.O. .
IC.O.W.
W. II. Lowe , viewing rends , $5. 95.
Goo. W. Losey , jailor foes , etc. ,
$5IV ) . 50.
S. W. Hnyes , fees in case stnto vs.
Baldwin , Strong nnd Thomas , $12.55.
J II. Conloy , foes in case state vs.
Strouir. $18 (15. (
On motion the following election
claims were allowed :
Aug. Bruuiuiunrl , judge two days and
uiakiiiK returns , $7.iO. (
II. II. Patterson , judge two days , $4 ,
applied on personal tax.
W. S. Vail , judge two days$4applied
on personal tax , $2.00.
A. P JPilgor , clerk two days , § ( .applied
on personal tax.
O. II. Vail , clerk two days , f i.
Goo. Thiolo , constable two days , $1 ,
applied on personal tax , $3.40.
II. M. Roberts , judge throe days and
making returns , $11.50
Julius Deguor , judge three days , $0.
Wm. L. Kern , judge throe days , $0.
L. M. Gaylord , clerk three days , $0.
Anton Buoholz , clerk throe days , $0.
E. E. Adams , constable ono dny , $2.
J. S. McClnry , judge three days nnd
making returns , $9.00.
W. H. Dexter , judge three days , $0 ,
appnou on personal tnx.
F. A. Brynnt , judge three days , $0.
Herman Goreoko , clerk three days ,
$0.M.
M. 0. Ha/on , clerk three days , $0.
Joe Horrlsky , constable two days , $4 ,
applied on personal tax.
J. S. Burnett , judge two days and
making returns , $7.70 , applied on per
sonal tax , $3.
W. H. Livingston , judge two days , $4 ,
applied on personal tax.
W. H. Rish , judge two days , $4 , ap
plied on personal tax.
Lee Hershisor , clerk two days , $4.
Fred W. Koorber , clerk two days , $4.
Mike Kennedy , constable two days ,
T" *
Aug. Loutz , judge three days and
making returns , $9.80.
Herman Buottow , judge three days ,
$0.Geo.
Geo. D. Smith , judge three days , $0.
Geo. Sohweuk , clerk three dnys , $0.
Cnrl Winter , clerk three days , $0
Paul Brumniuud , constable two days ,
$4 ,
J. W. Ray , judge two days , making
returns , caring for booths , etc. , $12.JO. !
A. 0. Daniel , judge two days , ft , ap
plied on personal tax.
'A. Cox , judge two days , $4 , applied on
personal tnx.
J. II Mnssmau , clerk two dnys , ft ,
applied on personal tnx.
Peter Morrison , clerk two days , $4 ,
applied on personal tax.
J. W. Ray , rent for school house ,
$2 no
Joe HnghoH , judge two days nud male-
ng returns , $1) ) ,
Win. Jackson , judge two days , It.
John Harding , judge two days , $4.
Joe Orr , clerk two days , $1 , applied
on personal tnx , $ ! ) 55.
Sherman Snyder , olork two days , $1 ,
applied on personal tax.
Fred Dlttrtrk , constable ono day , $2.
Frank Derrick , oaring for booths , etc. ,
$ ! } .
J O. D.imoti , judge two days nud
making returns , $11.50 ,
O. H. Calvin , judge two days , ft.
Elijah Ashcrnft , judge two dnys , $4.
G. C. Wnrroii , clerk two dnys , $1 , np-
plied on perKonnl tnx.
A J. Iliiys , clerk two days , $1 , ap
plied on personal tnx , $ . ' { ,
A. W. Goldsworthy , judge two davs
and making returns , $10.00 , applied on
personal tax. $1 85.
Herman Wohlfell , judge two days , ft.
John Askwith , judno two days , $4.
G o. Mullloy , olork two days , ft. ,
Arthur Andrews , clerk two days , $1.
Fred W. Tegolor , judge two days nnd
mnking returns , $8.
Hnnry MnsHiimn , judge two days , $1
W. If. Daniels , judge two days , $4.
J. L. Kncsol , clerk two days , ft.
W. A. Miller , clerk two days , ft.
13. S Brink , judge two days and mule
ing returns , $8.
Fred Brochler , judge two days , $1.
A D. Wilbergor , judge two days , $1 ,
applied on personal tnx.
Albert Hcndmnn , clerk two dnys , $1.
F. E. Martin , clerk two days , ft.
Frank Flood , constable ono day , $2.
II. J. Morris , judge two days nud
mnking returns , $7 10.
A. N. MoGinnis , judge two dnys , $1.
Wm. Muohmucller , judge two days ,
$1.O.
O. W. Pottitt , clerk two days , $1 , np-
plied on personal tax.
Geo. Taiinohill , clerk two days , $1.
-Frod Odoll , constable ono day , S3.
0. S. Snydor.clerk two days and mak
ing returns , $1 !
Thos. L. Miilono , rloik two dnys , $4.
A. A. Bloy , judge two days , $1.
W. G. Jones , judge two days , $4 , ap
plied on personal tax.
ilohn Murphy , judge two days , $1
Harry Wot/lor , constable ouo day , $2
W. W. Stork , clerk two days and
making returns , ? ( i.70 , applied on per
sonal tax , $ : ) 40.
II 0. Ha.-kins , clerk two dayq , $1.
Henry Wet/ol , judge two dnys , $1.
E. A Lyou , judge two flays , $4.
Houry Suudormau , judge two days ,
$1.
School district Np. 15 , rent , § 2.
Thos. Lostiua. judge two days and
mnking returns , $7 20.
W. P. Wnrdeu , jadgo two dnys , $1
S. M. Dowliug , judge two dnys , ft.
W R. Martin , clerk two days , $4.
Mike Ploii'/.ek , clerk two days , $4 , ap
plied on personal tnx , $ ! ! .
John Ilorrocks , judge two , days and
making returns , $8.
John Bohlson , judge two days , $4.
Win. Palmer , judge two days , $1.
W. W. Young , clerk two days , $4.
Thos. Reeves , clerk two days , ft.
Robt. Horrocks , constable two days ,
$4.S.
S. O. Simousou , judge two days nud
making returns , $8 80 , applied on per
sonal tjvx , $ (5.JO. ( !
John J. O'Shoa , judge , two days , * $4.
E. H. Gerhardt , judge two days , ft.
A. L. Stewart , clerk two days , f I.
0. R. Hiumau , clerk two days , $4.
0. Brinkmnu , constable two dnys , $ t.
Peter Classen , judge two dnys nud
mnking returns , $7.10.
B. Hassmau , judge two days , $4.
Christ Schmitt , jr. , judge two days ,
ft.Elmer
Elmer McKibbon , clerk two days , $1 ,
Harry Rnmmacher , clerk two days ,
ft , applied on personal tax , $3.
Geo. Classen , constable two dnys , fl.
School district No. ! 5i. ( rent , fuel nnd
cleaning school house , $4 50.
Ora Lyou , clerk tsvo days and mnking
returns , $0 85.
Win. Ilnrms , clerk two dnys , $4 , ap
plied on personal tax.
Jacob Gibelman , judge two days , § 1.
John Deiter , judge two days , f I
Adnm Gross , judge two days , $4.
J. E. Douglass , judge three days and
making returns , $ ( UO.
C A. Huyler , judge three days , $ ( > .
V. Crow , judge three dnys , $0.
H. B. Alien , clerk three days , $ ( > .
A. R. Fraser , clerk three days , $0.
A. K. Robinson , constable two davs.
$4.O.
O. L. Harris , clerk two days and mnk
ing returns , $0.10 , applied on personal
tax , $3.
Ralph McGoheo , clerk two days , $4 ,
F. E. Aldorson , judge two days , $4.
S. O. Davis , judge two days , $4.
Aug. Peterson , judge two days , $1 ,
applied on personal tax.
F. M. Martin , constable two days , § 1 ,
npplied on persounl tax $1.70.
On motion board adjourned to 1
o'clock p. in. * > , ) *
Board met pursunut to ndjournmont.
On motion the following election
clnims were nllowed :
Adam Riland , rout for room , $2 50.
Goo. Brand , cnring for booths nud
rent for school house , $3.60.
Fnnnio Mnxwoll , rent for hnll , $5.
R. H. Reeves , mnking end caring for
booths , and one day as constable , $5 GO.
S. R. McFarlnud , caring for ballots
ana supplies luruisueo , $ iu , applied on
personal tax , $1.25.
Thos. Lestlna , use of school house ,
district No. 28 , $2.CO
A. W. Goldsworthy , use of school
house in district No. 27 , two years , $5.
Anton Buchol/ , rent , etc. , $5.
J. L. Grant , rent G. A. R. hall , $5.
Thos. Llstinn , caring for booths , $1.
B. H. Grant , caring for bobths , $2.
E. H. Brewer , caring for tooths , nnd
cleaning school house , $3.
F. M * Martin , caring for booths , $2 50.
John Horrocks , use of school house
and fuel , district No. 50 , $2.50.
Aug. Brumuinnd , repairing and car
ing for election booths , $4.
Henry Miller , hauling booths , $3.
Bill of 0. A. Smith for swearing in
election board was rejected.
On motion reports of W. H. Lowe on
survey of road on west side of sections
4 , 9 and 10-24-2 w , between sections 7
and 18-22-ii w , and on half-section line
section 3222-1 w , were accepted and ap
proved.
Complaint having been made that
part nwK mvVi , 2-23-1 w , 10 acres being
city property since 189IS , was exempt
from taxation and the same being found
true , the clerk wns instructed to strike
said tnx from the tnx list.
On motion bond of Peck-Williams
Heating Co. , covering contract for heat
ing plant at poor farm , was approved.
_ I
On motion the following bills were
allowed :
Canton Bridge Co. , partial payment ,
$2000.
Henry Kaufman , two wolf scalps , ft.
On motion board adjourned to Decem
ber 10 , 1001 , nt 1 p. in.
PHIL HAUCII ,
County Olork.
The Dm I lot In I'nlltA.
A North Side dentist Is Hiiro to be call
ed "a moan man" by Homo of hln wo
men patroiiH when they learn of the
trick he IIIIH practiced upon them. It
happens Homotlme.s that even a rubber
dam will not stop the How of woman's
speech , nnd although the dentist , helm ;
a young man , Is not nvorso to a little
"pleasant talk" now and then with n
patient , yet If HIO ! persists In tolling
him her personal or domestic history
during the filling of a tooth , hindering
the work , wJillc other patients wait In
the anteroom , It's a little trying to his
nervo.H and temper. The doctor Is a po
lite man ; ho does not ask the woman
to htop talking , but says gently :
"Open your month , please. "
There Is silence for a few moments ,
when the chatter begins again.
"Open wider , please , " snya the don-
tlst , moro persuasively than before ,
and the work goes on rapidly enough
until the patient seeing her opportuni
ty starts In again whore she had left
off In the tale of everyday woos. The
clock strikes the hour of the next ap
pointment. The dentist seizes the most
terrible of nil his Instruments , his look
becomes threatening ami his voice too :
" 1'lonso , now , open your month very
wide. " The ruse succeeds , and the
startled but unsuspecting woman
stretches her month Into an abysmal
yawn that precludes the possibility of
even a whisper.
It's a moan trick. Chicago Tribune.
The Hey * Got In.
The late Dan Hice , the famous circus
man , was fond of boys and always
wanted to see a lot of them In his mull-
cneo. Ho never gave a performance ,
says the Cleveland Loader , when the
nooks and corners were not filled with
youngsters who had come In frie.
Ono story of this sort was told by
Captain George .1. Grummcr. At the
lime of tlio occurrence Graimner , who
lived In Zanesvlllo , O. , wan standing
one afternoon with a crowd of other
boys looking longingly Into the tent ,
but not having the price of admission.
It was Mr. Rico's custom to stand at
the door until the first grand entry of
the clrrjis people , when he would
leave. On this occasion he saw the
hungry look on the faces of the boys
nnd called them around him. "Yon
want to go In , don't yon , boysV"
"Bet your life ! " shouted back the
youngsters.
"I'll tell you what. All the boys who
are back here In ten minutes with clean
faces and hands get In. "
The words were hardly out of his
month before there was a dash for
the Musklnguin river , nnd In less than
seven minutes 200 clean faces and
hands came back to the tent. The
boys went Insldu with a rush.
"Dnttonliolc * Sold Here. "
"Button Holes For Sale Here" is a
sign which peers out through a rather
dirty window of a lower floor tene
ment on the east sldo. In view of the
possibility that It might mean just
what It said nnd that the dealer really
sold holes for buttons a Tribune re
porter Investigated.
A woman whose dress was a mixture
of bathing suit aud ball gown answer
ed his knock.
"You sell buttonholes here ? " was
nsked.
' 'Nnw , we make 'em ! " she exclaimed ,
with ns much disgust ns a very squeaky
voice was capable of showing.
"Well , the sign In the window says"
"Never mind the sign ! " she snapped
bock. "What do you want with me ? "
She was finally persuaded to tell
something of her new business.
"Yon see , It's this way , " she began.
"The working girls who live over hero
have to dress pretty well nnd do It on
little money. Most of 'em makes their
own clothes , but they have not too
much time to do the work in. Now , If
y < ) ii was n woman you'd know that It
wns mighty hard to make buttonholes ,
specially by hand. Poor girls can't af
ford buttonhole machines. They make
np the dresses and bring 'em over to
us , and wo put In the buttonholes at
&o much a hole , 'cording to the kind of
rituff and how well they wants It done.
And that's all there la to It. " New
York Tribune.
A Ynnthfnl Financier.
A correspondent asks , Will some of
your mathematical geniuses kindly tell
mo If I am absolutely devoid of the
calculating faculty In not being able
to see through the following three
cornered trick , shall I say ? A beggar
boy asked an old gentleman In the
street for sixpence. ,
"What will you do with It if I give
you one ? " asked the old gentleman.
"Turn It Into nlnepeiice quick , " re
plied the boy.
"How ? "
"filvo me the tanner , and I'll soon
show you. "
The boy got the money , darted off tea
a baker's shop and bought a three
penny loaf , with which he returned to
the old gentleman and handed him
back 3 pennies.
"How's this ? You said you would
make the sixpence Into nlucpcnce. "
"So I have. The baker's got three
pence , you've got threepence and I've
got a threepenny loaf. That's nine-
pen ce. " Pea rson'sWeekly.
Former Secretary of Treasury Dead.
Chicago , Aug. 7. Judge William Co-
cll Price , secretary of the treasury un
der President Buchanan , died yester
day at the homo of his son-in-law , Will-
lam S. Nowbcrry , aged 8G. The dece
dent resinned his portfolio when Lin
coln was elected and bccanio prom
Incnt In the affairs of the Confederacy
The body will bo taken to Madison ,
Wls. , for burial.
Brain Food Nonsense.
Anothtr ridiculous food fad has boon
branded by the most competent of
authorities. They have dispelled the
f-illy notion that one kind of food in
needed for brain , another for muscles ,
nnd still another for bones. A correct
diet will not only nourish a particular
part of the body , hnt It will sustain
every other pnrt. Ynt , however good
your food mny bo , its nutriment is do-
H'royod by indigestion or dyspepsia.
You mutt prepare for their appearance
or prevent their coming by taking regu
lar doses of Green's Angnst Flower ,
the favorite medicine of the healthy
millions. A few doces aids digestion ,
stimulates the liver to healthy action ,
purifies the blood , and makes you fool
buoyant and vigorous. You can get
Dr. G , G. Green's reliable remedies at
Asa K. Loonnrd's. '
Got Green's Special Almanac.
Vagaries of a Cold.
You cnn never bo qtiito sure whore a
cold is going to hit you. In the fnll nud
winter it may settle in the bowels , pro
ducing severe pain. Do not bo alarmed
nor torment yourself with fears of ap
pendicitis. At the first sign of n cramp
take Perry Dnvis' Painkiller in warm ,
sweetened wnter nnd relief comes nt
onco. There Is but ono Painkiller.
Perry Dnvis' . 25 nud 50 cents.
THE NEWS keeps its job department
up-to-date with the latest faces of type
and docs its work in approved stylo.
in the coffee bin not
a pleasant thought ,
yet when coffees arc
kept open in bulk who
knows what different
"things" come climb-
inff and floating in ?
Lion Coffee
nt up in scaled packages insures
eanlincss , uniform quality ,
cshncss and delicious flavor.
IMPORTED
Stransky Steel = Ware
QUADRUPLE COATED.
A little higher in price , but outlasts a
dozen pieces of so-called cheap enameled
ware.
For snlo nt
ALBERT DEGNER'S.
Dr. Humphreys'
Specifics euro by acting directly upon
the disease , without exciting disorder in
nny other part ; of the system.
NO. CURES. rWCES.
1 Fevers , Congestions , Inflammations. .25
ti Wornm , Worm Fovcr , Worm Colic. . . .25
3 Teething.ColicCryingWakefulness .25
4 Diarrhea , ot Children or Adults 25
7 Cousin , Colds , Bronchitis 25
\euraUla , Toothache , Faccacho 25
0 Headache , Slot Headache , Vertigo. . .25
10 DvBpepnlaIndlgc8tlonWeakQtomach.25
11 SupprenscJ orl'nlnfiil Periods 25
12 White * . Too Prof use Periods 25
13 Croup. LnrynsltlH , Hoarseness 25
l-l Salt Rheum , ErysIpelas.Eruptlons. . .2 < S
13 IlhciiinutUiii. Itheumatto Pains 23
1G Molorln , Chills , Fever and Ague 25
19 Catarrh , Influenza , Cold In the Head .25
20 WhooplnK.C'otidh 25
27 Kidney Ulscnaea 25
28 Xcrvoun Debility 1.00
30 Urinary Weakncai , WottlngDcd 25
77 Grip , Hay Fever .25
Dr. Humphreys' Manual of oU DUeasei at your
Druggists or dialled Frco
Sold by dniKRlsts , or sent on receipt of price.
Humphreys' MeU. Co , Cor. William & John B&
Wcw xorlc *
A SWELL TRAIN ,
THE ELECTRICSLIGHTEDILIMITED
"SHORTLINE. "
To Chicago , Milwaukee , Racine ,
Rockford , Lacrosse , Duburrno , Elgin ,
Freeport , Madison , Jauesville
and other important points East , North
east and Southeast , via
An Electric light in Every Berth.
The Milwaukee is the only Eloctrio
Lighted Train that runs in and out of
Omaha. All cars are supplied with incandescent -
candescent lights.
Palace Sleepers and the finest Dining
Oars in the world are run on the O. M.
& St. P. Ry. Write and got full in-
formation.
l'A. . NASH ,
General Western Agent ,
II. W. HOWKI.L , 1504 Parnam St. ' .
Truv. Frt. & Pass. Agt. Omaha.